Chivalry of a Failed Knight Vol. 2

“All right, fine. We can play once we’re done training, just lose the ball for now.”

“Whatever. But afterward, we will play!” she said and reluctantly handed the ball over to Ikki.

She really is here to play, huh? he thought. I could’ve sworn I told her that we were here to train, though.

“So, Kurogane. What are we doing for today’s training? Just swimming?”

“Nah.” Ikki shook his head. “Honestly, I keep calling it ‘training’, but it’s not really that tough. Your body is going to start feeling some fatigue soon.”

“Then what are we doing?”

“In a word: nothing.”

“Huh?”

“We’re just gonna float underwater like jellyfish.”

“D-Does that really count as training?”

“Sure does,” Ikki responded confidently. “First off, of course, this will help increase your lung capacity. Anaerobic exercise is good preparation for heated battles—those with lesser lung capacities will be the first to fall, so it’s just as important to a swordsman as strength or power. That’s actually just a side-effect of today’s training, though. You might not get it until you try it, but when you’re underwater, you’ll begin to feel much closer to yourself.”

Ayase must not have understood it fully, as she cutely tilted her head in confusion.

“While you’re floating under the water, try to forget about the strength your body uses to stand, along with the brainpower you use to understand what your eyes see. Shift your focus inward and listen to the voice of your very self.”

“I don’t think I understand, but you’re the boss, so I’ll give it a try.”

Ayase was still unsure of what Ikki wanted her to actually do, but she had no reason to doubt him. She obediently held her breath and submerged herself underwater. Judging from her training, she could probably stay under for about three minutes.

A swordswoman as experienced as Ayase should grasp the meaning of this after she’s tried it once, Ikki thought while pulling Stella’s ball out of the pool.

“I’ll go put this in a locker,” he said. “It’ll just get in the way if we leave it here.”

◆◆◆

As soon as Ikki left, Stella got bored. She didn’t know anything about Ayase as a person, much less about her swordplay. There wasn’t anything to talk about, not to mention that it was rude to interrupt someone’s training for no reason.

Boooriiing…

With nothing else to do, Stella decided to follow along with Ayase’s training. She held her breath and sunk into the water.

It wasn’t difficult; she had far greater lung capacity than even Ikki. If she wanted to, she could stay underwater for ten minutes—calling it superhuman wouldn’t be too far-fetched.

It’s quiet down here.

There were still swimmers paddling and children romping around above water, but beneath the surface, now so far away that it seemed as though the world itself was a distant thing, there was nothing.

In that silence, she began to hear herself. Sounds that were normally inaudible among the external noise—her heartbeat, the flow of her blood, the movement of impulses sent from her brain and through her nerves—all became incredibly clear.

“When you’re underwater, you begin to feel much closer to yourself.”

Stella was experiencing exactly what Ikki had meant, though a knight as accomplished as her already knew the feeling of letting her consciousness permeate her body. She understood that sensation, the feeling of the very consciousness that governed her.

To the unenlightened, swinging a sword was just “holding your sword and moving your arm”. But when one was conscious of every movement from shoulder to thumb, the impulses carried through their nerves, and the expansion and contraction of their muscles, they would begin to notice a marked difference in the speed and strength of their swings. To be able to control every minute factor of one’s swing, one has to understand the makeup of their body.

Ayase wasn’t ready to do that yet. If she were, she wouldn’t have moved so unnaturally in the first place, as once one felt their consciousness so intimately, they became able to recognize areas of themselves that caused strain and wasted energy.

Thanks to Ikki adjusting her form based on her bodily condition, Ayase’s movements had sped up. One’s bodily condition can change from day to day, however, so she had to be ready to adjust to those changes on her own. Only then could she say that she had full control of her own strength. Therefore, the training she was undergoing was sure to be useful for her.

Stella, however, didn’t need it, for she had already trained herself to automatically adjust without conscious effort. That was why, even when she meant to swing wildly the other day, she was subconsciously correcting herself for optimal movement.

I was naïve to think that was enough.

Looking up at the surface, Stella lost herself in her thoughts. She had believed she’d trained herself more vigorously and earnestly than anyone else out there. She had believed she’d had perfect control of herself. But she had believed incorrectly.

Ikki’s Ittou Shura was at the furthest extreme of self-control, and Stella was not yet at that point. The level of discipline required to use up all of her own energy in a single minute was beyond her.

That gap showed that Stella’s martial arts prowess was lesser than Ikki’s. She surpassed him in so many physical capabilities, such as lung capacity, strength, instantaneous force, and the like, but still fell short because their ways of living were fundamentally different.

Ikki stood alone at the darkest, quietest depths of self-control, deeper even than the water she floated in, while Stella remained in the shallows. That was his world. If she could claw her way there, she thought maybe she could find something she hadn’t found before.

The light filtering in from the surface faded as she slowly closed her eyes, leaving her cut off from everything but the sounds within her own body. She was completely alone. Amidst silence and darkness, all that remained was a vision of herself.

It wasn’t enough. She hadn’t delved deep enough, so she turned, moving deeper and deeper, reaching her hand toward the domain of Another One.

“Miss Vermillion, are you and Kurogane dating?”

“Gblorfgh?!”

Stella started to drown.

◆◆◆

“Oww! Wader wennup my noshe!”

Stella coughed as she pressed on her nose, disappointed at her own failure. She had come to the surface and was standing in the pool, but the fact that Ayase’s voice had reached the depths of her consciousness while she was underwater proved that her training was incomplete. She would never be able to catch up with Ikki at the rate she was going.

Ikki can probably just cut off his sight and hearing entirely. He needed to be able to do at least that much to use Ittou Shura, bringing her face-to-face with the difficulty of her goal once more.

“S-Sorry, Miss Vermillion,” Ayase said. “Are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine,” Stella assured her.

“Considering how exaggerated your reaction was, that must mean…”

“N-N-No way! The second imperial princess of the Vermillion royal family would never date a commoner!”

“Are you sure you’re not dating?”

“Of course we’re not.”

“Then you don’t mind if I ask him out?”

“What?!” Stella’s voice cracked. “H-Hold on! I thought you just wanted him to teach you swordplay! He even told me there were no feelings between you!”

“At first, yes. But Kurogane is so gentlemanly and handsome, and he even gave a stalker like me a chance. Even though he’s younger than me, he’s so much more mature. And he’s so gentle when he teaches, but he’s still so good at it. Kurogane is the perfect man. Now that I can look at his face when I talk to him, I think I might ask him out to—”

“N-Nooo!” Stella couldn’t take it anymore, screaming before Ayase could even finish her sentence. “No way! Absolutely nooot! Ikki is my boyfriend, so back off!”

She smacked the water with her hands like a child throwing a tantrum. She didn’t even want to think of another person asking Ikki out, so she drowned out Ayase’s words entirely and glared at her, tears welling up in her eyes.

“I knew it.” When she saw the mischievous grin on Ayase’s face, Stella knew that she’d been had. “I thought you two looked pretty lovey-dovey back there, and it looks like I was right after all!”

“Ugh. I didn’t think you would be the type to come at me with a sneaky tactic like that,” Stella moaned. “I figured you were too dumb.”

“Well, aren’t you sweet.”

“I think it’s natural for me to be a little mean after you trapped me like that. But let’s keep this a secret, okay? It would be annoying if everyone and their brother found out about this.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep quiet. You’re famous, so it would just cause problems.”

“By the way… Were you lying about liking Ikki?”

Ayase nodded decisively. “I do think he’s a wonderful person, but that doesn’t mean I’m interested in him like that. It would be a betrayal to the man who humored me and taught me swordplay. I always had a hunch, though. You two are so lucky. I want to fall in love with someone too!”

Much to Stella’s surprise, Ayase’s eyes sparkled and she put her hands over her blushing cheeks. She looked like a little girl reading a fairy tale.

“I thought you hated men, Ayatsuji.”

“You’ve definitely got the wrong idea. I actually love boys.”

“Shh! Be careful what you say here. I think I just saw like six guys perk up.”

“Anyway, I don’t hate men at all. I actually focus on their presence so much that I can’t help but get embarrassed. My roommate says I look mean. Oh, how I wish I could love someone.”

“Why not just do it?” Stella asked, putting aside her surprise at seeing someone be so upfront about such a thing.

“N-No, I couldn’t! I would be delighted if I could, but I’m so inexperienced when it comes to love that I’d probably die of embarrassment. Instead, I just content myself with manga and books.”

“Talk about a sad life.”

“So, do you two do sexy things when you’re together at night?”

“Gak!” Ayase’s fastball lodged itself in Stella’s throat. “H-H-How can you just say that?!”

“I really want to know what real couples are like!”

Just like all the other girls in her class, Ayase readily pried into Stella’s private affairs, shattering Stella’s impression of her as a prim and proper swordswoman. She was just another gossip-lover with a nose for romance.

“Obviously not. We haven’t even said our vows yet.”

“Really? All the girls in the manga I read are constantly having premarital sex.”

“S-Seriously?! Don’t people think that’s weird?!”

“I’ve never had a boyfriend, so I wouldn’t know.” Her reply was so honest that it was almost sad. “But seeing the way you act, I think you want to have sex with him, don’t you?”

Sh-She’s really out for blood! Stella cried in her mind. There was no point in hiding it since the truth was out, though. She thought that talking to someone might help soothe the unease deep within her, so she lowered herself further into the water and muttered quietly.

“I-I wouldn’t go that far, but I do want to do more lovey-dovey stuff.”

“Why don’t you tell him exactly what you just said?”

“I wouldn’t be so stressed out if I could do that.”

“Why can’t you?”

“Isn’t it kind of unladylike for a girl to say that?”

“Is it? I think it’s normal to want to be closer to your boyfriend. In fact, I’d think it would be less healthy if you didn’t want to.”

Huh? Stella didn’t know how to respond.

It made sense when someone else said it. Of course it did; what kind of person, boy or girl, wouldn’t want to take the next step with their significant other? But…

“Maybe he wants to take things slow, though. If I get too ahead of myself, he might think I’m a slut or something and get turned off by it.”

“So you think Kurogane is insensitive, then? He would have to be really insensitive to be turned off just because you’re interested in moving things forward.”

“N-No! He’s not insensitive!”

“Then I don’t see the problem.”

“But… Hm.”

Stella didn’t have a rebuttal. Perhaps Ayase was right, after all. It seemed so simple. Why hadn’t she realized it before? Maybe this is what people mean when they say love is blind.

Ayase looked Stella right in the eyes. “Don’t waste the time you have with your loved ones. For as long as humans live, we’ll have to say goodbye sooner or later,” she said with a mature look on her face.

“Wow. This is the first time it’s really set in that you’re older than me.”

“I’m just speculating at this point, but I bet Kurogane wants to take the next step with you too.”

“Why’s that?”

“You may not have noticed it when we got here, Miss Vermillion, but he was practically drooling at the sight of you. I had to stop myself from laughing at how obviously he was leering at you.”

“Ah!”

No way. This is the worst thing ever. Why didn’t I look at him? I’ll never live this down.

While Stella agonized over the shame of missing her opportunity, Ikki returned from locking away the beach ball.

“Oh? Already given up, huh, Ayatsuji?” he asked.

“No, sorry. I just wanted to chat with Miss Vermillion.”

“Cool. So, how was it? Did you feel your consciousness moving throughout your body?”

“Yes! I understand the point of this exercise, too. In fact, I’d like to focus on it by myself for a while. Would you mind letting me be alone for a bit?”

“Go ahead.”

In the meantime, I think Miss Vermillion here has something she really wants to tell you!”

“Wha—?!”

Stella seemed to scream as she was put on the spot. Ayase ignored her and just swam far off, shooting her a wink as if to say, “This is me making up for interrupting you two before.”

I don’t need your help!

◆◆◆

After Ayase’s departure, Ikki and Stella moved to a bench next to the pool.

“So, what did you want to tell me?”

“Umm…” Reluctant to answer, Stella simply looked down at her legs without a word.

Who could blame her? Ayase had been able to coax her to sit down with Ikki using logic, but logic wasn’t the issue. Why did she think he would hate her for wanting to do more things that lovers do? Why didn’t she realize that he couldn’t hate her for something so simple and innocent? She learned the answer when she looked at Ikki’s face.

The problem was simple: she was ashamed of herself. She kept on putting off the issue, clinging to whatever justification she could, all while pretending she didn’t realize it and thinking that maybe, just maybe, Ikki would bring up the topic himself. It wasn’t like she could just ask him to kiss her.

I can’t say something that embarrassing!

“Stella?”

“Oh! S-Sorry! So, what I wanted to tell you is, umm…” With her escape route having been cut off by Ayase, Stella had to at least say something. “R-Right! My swimsuit! I was wondering if you liked it!”

“Of course I like it. It looks really good on you. You’ve got a nice style, and the swimsuit really complements it.”

Ikki responded smoothly and comfortably to Stella’s emergency maneuver, his expression as gentle as ever. Even that bothered her, though. Was it because she had been told earlier that he was nearly drooling over her? If that were true, should he have been able to answer so easily? What if he was just putting on an act when he first saw her?

“Actually, I have something I want to tell you too.”

“You do?”

What is it? I didn’t plan for this!

Was he just going to ask for her thoughts on his swimwear too? How should she answer? She was attracted to him no matter what he wore, but she wasn’t sure she could get that across—

“I was just wondering, uh, if we should keep doing this.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. We haven’t done anything that couples do for the whole month we’ve been dating.”

Stella felt as if her heart had frozen over when she heard that. We haven’t done anything that couples do for the whole month we’ve been dating. Those were the words she feared most. Her boyfriend had just said the most frightening thing he could possibly say.

So it’s true. Ikki’s grown tired of our relationship, he just didn’t say anything for the entire month. He’s gotten bored of me.

Who wouldn’t? He had Shizuku. And he had a beautiful disciple, too, even if she was older. And there were plenty of other viable girls among his classmates, like Kusakabe. Countless girls fawned over him on a daily basis. Why should he care about a self-important girl who wouldn’t even touch him? The blood in her veins grew colder the more she thought about it.

“So I was just wondering where we should go from here.”

No. Stella knew what he would say next. “Why don’t we just go back to the way we used to be?” She didn’t want to hear it. She couldn’t bear to let Ikki finish that thought, so she turned to face away from him and spoke with a shrill tone.

“Y-You’re right! Honestly, I meant to bring that up, instead of the dumb swimsuit! H-Haha, yeah, it was never gonna work out in the first place! A princess and a commoner are just too different! Instead of being with a girl who won’t even hold your hand, you should just be with someone like Ayase who’ll let you touch her thighs and her butt!”

“H-Huh?! No! Stella, wait! What are you talking about?!”

“I-I-I’m talking about b-breaking up, obviously! You don’t need to be with a prude who won’t touch you!”

“Wha—?!” Ikki stood there, his eyes wide with shock. He had no idea why Stella would say something so hurtful. With all the color gone from his face, he grabbed Stella’s shoulder and pleaded, “I’ve never felt that way! Let’s just calm down and talk this through!”

“Don’t touch me!” she screamed and turned back toward him, smacking his hand away. Droplets of water shimmered as they were sent dancing through her red hair.

Is she crying? Ikki thought. He knew he had to figure out why she wanted to break up, so he reminded himself that their relationship would be over the moment he got angry, then spoke.

“If I did something to put you off or make you hate me, I’ll apologize, but please, I need you to tell me what’s wrong!”

“You’re the one who hates me!”

“That’s not true! Why would you ever think that?! I never said I hated you!”

“I already know you do, even if you don’t say it!”

“You don’t know! Please, just calm down!”

“I am calm!”

“You don’t seem calm! Why do you think I’d hate you, Stella?! If that’s what you think of me, that must mean you’re the one who hates me!”

Ikki’s voice gradually became more and more panicked, until he was basically yelling. He couldn’t help but lose his cool; he was being broken up with by his girlfriend without an explanation, after all. How could he stay calm when he loved her so much?

“I-I don’t! I love you, Ikki!”

“Well, I love you more!”

“Liar! I love you way more! Remember when I asked if you liked my swimsuit and you lied?! You don’t care about me, and it’s because I won’t even touch you! When Ayase said you were drooling over me, you were actually just drooling over her!”

“What?! That’s mean, and it’s definitely not true! You’d better stop, or I’ll get mad at you!”

“You’re already mad at me!”

“Because you’re making baseless accusations! Why would I look at another girl when my smoking-hot girlfriend is standing right there?!”

“Then why did you act so normal when I asked?!”

“I might have looked normal, but come on! I can’t just answer a question like that honestly! You’re so sexy, I can’t keep my eyes off you! But the problem is that if I act like some sort of pervert, I’m worried you might be grossed out! And what about you, Stella?! If you love me so much, why haven’t we been intimate at all this past month?!”

“That’s your fault, too! The girl in the relationship can’t be the one to say she wants to have sex! I don’t want you to think I’m some sort of slut or something!”

“Then why are we even fighting?!”

“How should I know?!”

They continued yelling at each other, despite all the people around them.

“Excuse me? I’m not sure if you’re having a lovers’ quarrel or flirting, but there are other people trying to enjoy the pool. Could you possibly take it somewhere else?”

A lifeguard smirked as he spoke to them, while the other swimmers around them watched as if they were exotic animals. Ikki and Stella could feel their faces burning as they simultaneously realized how strange their fight must have looked.

“E-Excuse us!”

“Sorryyy!”

The two ran off to the kids’ pool, also empty, in an attempt to escape the onlookers. They sat under an umbrella-shaped fountain in the middle of the pool, the curtain of water making them invisible to any onlookers and drowning out their voices. They were completely isolated; only the two of them would know what happened there.

“Ikki, um, don’t look at me right now.”

“Sure. I don’t really want you to see my face either, so that works.”

Both of them were painfully embarrassed. Though they had at least escaped it, they realized that their argument was downright ridiculous. They were so ashamed of themselves that they couldn’t even look at each other.

“Hey, Stella?”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t we both say what we want the most right now? We’ll do it at the same time.”

“…Okay.”

It was a stupid argument, but it wasn’t pointless. It proved to both of them that the person they loved loved them back.

“I want to kiss you,” they said in unison. They didn’t need to say any more than that.

The two of them sighed heavily before looking into each other’s eyes, neither of them too embarrassed to make eye contact anymore. Stella looked up at Ikki and gently closed her eyes, tears still sitting gently at the ends of her eyelashes. Ikki gently wiped them away and put his hands on her soft cheeks.

Stella’s body stiffened. Her eyes shot open and her soft, warm face trembled. She was unsure how to react to the new sensation of a boy touching her eyelashes. But she didn’t push him away; she just closed her eyes, giving herself to him.