Chapter 5: The Turbulent Double Date

Chapter 5:
The Turbulent Double Date

 

CHRISTMAS DAY HAD ARRIVED. In the past, this day had meant little to me, but that wasn’t the case this year. For the first time in my life, I’d spend Christmas Day with a member of the opposite sex. I wondered whether Satou would enjoy hanging out with me. Much as I’d have liked her to, we still didn’t know each other all that well.

I’d never been on a real, honest-to-god, one-on-one date before. That should’ve been significant, but there was still so much I didn’t understand. “Just go with the flow, I guess.”

I left my room and took the elevator to the lobby. If I remembered correctly, Satou and I were going to catch a movie. We’d agreed to meet at 11:30, but I decided to get there a little early.

5.1

 

UNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS cloudy outside, and it promised to be cloudy all day. I got to our meeting spot ten minutes early, but when I looked up from checking the time, I saw Satou walking toward me. She seemed somewhat uneasy as she scanned her surroundings. Then our eyes met, and she grinned.

“Good morning, Ayanokouji-kun!” she called, hurrying over.

When she came up to me, I couldn’t help noticing that she smelled nice. “You’re early,” I remarked.

“You too, Ayanokouji-kun. Did I keep you waiting, by any chance?”

“Nah, I just got here.” A cliché line, but true.

“Really?” Satou leaned forward, playfully eyeing me like a cat that spied a mouse.

I nodded, feeling slightly overwhelmed already. Well, we had a few minutes left until our date was officially supposed to start, but perhaps we should just begin. I was ready to get a move on, but for some reason, Satou looked around the area again.

“Should we head out?” I asked.

“O-oh, yes. S-sorry, just give me a minute.” She reached into her bag and rummaged through it, muttering to herself loudly enough for me to hear. “Did I forget it…?”

“You forgot something?” I asked.

“No, sorry. I just wondered what happened to my phone.”

Looking into Satou’s bag, I noticed a long, narrow box covered in wrapping paper. I strategically averted my gaze. “I can call your phone for you,” I told her.

“Oh, thanks. You’re really kind, Ayanokouji-kun.”

Helping someone find their phone didn’t seem especially kind. Most people would’ve done the same.

Satou continued to speak, sounding a bit awkward. “If I remember right, this morning…” She paused. Then she shrieked, “Ahh! Found it!”

Good news, then.

She held up her phone and put it in her pocket, laughing. “Sorry to keep you waiting! Shall we go?”

But then…

“Good morning, Ayanokouji-kun.”

Turning around, I saw Hirata Yousuke, looking as bright and cheerful as ever. I offered a wave in reply. Next to Hirata was his “girlfriend,” Karuizawa Kei. Were they on a Christmas date? I knew their relationship was fake, but they might’ve been doing this to keep up the act. Very clever.

“Good morning, Karuizawa-san,” said Satou.

“Morning,” Karuizawa replied, smiling.

“This is a rare sight, you two together,” said Hirata.

“Are you on a date, too?” I asked.

“Yeah. I didn’t really make any Christmas plans, just in case,” he told me.

So, he’d left his schedule open for his fake girlfriend Karuizawa’s sake. Hirata always put others before himself. Though I admired him, I acknowledged that it wasn’t easy to pull off.

“I thought one of your friends would’ve invited you out. No?” I asked Hirata. He was popular among our classmates, and even among the seniors in the soccer club.

“No, I think they probably wanted to give us alone time,” he replied, glancing at Karuizawa.

From the outside, Hirata and Karuizawa embodied an ideal couple. No one wanted to get in a happy couple’s way at Christmas. However, as long this fake relationship continued, Hirata couldn’t get close to another girl. I felt kind of bad for him. Even if he developed feelings for someone, he’d never do anything to hurt or embarrass Karuizawa.

No wonder she chose him as her protector.

“Karuizawa-san’s always been popular with the girls in class, but I didn’t know she was this close with Satou-san,” whispered Hirata, looking at the girls warmly, as if they were his sisters or daughters.

“I thought they hung out a lot, like, on their days off. Is that not the case?” I asked.

“Well, I didn’t think so.”

“Really?”

“What do you think’s going on?”

“I dunno.”

In any case, I figured we shouldn’t hold up Hirata and Karuizawa any longer. I checked my phone. It was already 11:40, close to the movie’s start time. We should’ve made tracks for the theater, but Satou and Karuizawa were deep in conversation, apparently enjoying themselves. They were whispering, so I couldn’t pick out the words.

Feeling lost, I met Hirata’s eyes. He seemed to grasp the problem and interrupted Karuizawa. “Karuizawa-san, I think maybe it’s time to let them have their fun. Shall we?” he asked in his usual gentle tone.

“Hey, when did you guys start going out, anyway?” asked Karuizawa. It was a perfectly natural question.

“Huh? I-It’s not like we’re actually dating or anything, right?! R-Right, Ayanokouji-kun?” said Satou. She looked flustered. I shook my head in response.

However, Karuizawa regarded us with obvious suspicion. “Eh? I mean, you guys are on a date on Christmas Day. That means you’re going out, right? Don’t you think so, Hirata-kun?”

“Well…I suppose that’s what people would assume, yes.”

“That’s, well, um… I only invited Ayanokouji-kun to hang out,” said Satou, fidgeting bashfully. “I-Is this okay, A-Ayanokouji-kun? Spending Christmas with me?”

“If I didn’t want to, I would’ve declined your offer,” I told her.

“Hee hee!” Satou lightly scratched her cheek.

“Hunh. So, does that mean you’re interested in Satou-san, Ayanokouji-kun?” asked Karuizawa.

“C-come on. Stop it, Karuizawa-san,” said Satou, blushing bright red. She fanned her face, as if attempting to cool it.

Karuizawa kept going. “So, why don’t you just start dating already? Christmas is a time for romance.”

“I really don’t think it’s our place to say that to them, Karuizawa-san.” Hirata politely tried to rein her in.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m being nosy, huh? Sorry, Satou-san.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay. I don’t mind,” replied Satou.

“Hey, don’t you think a double date sounds like fun?” asked Karuizawa.

“A double date?” I replied. Hirata and I glanced at each other.

“Yeah, yeah! Me and Hirata-kun could go with you two. Doesn’t that sound like fun? I just thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to hang out, you know?”

If we’d arranged this beforehand, that’d be one thing. But Karuizawa proposing a spontaneous double date baffled me. The plans Satou and I had made would go up in smoke. Judging from Hirata’s expression, he felt the same. However, Satou didn’t show even the slightest hint of surprise.

“I’m sure that these two have other plans,” Hirata told Karuizawa, but his words had no effect.

She continued, undeterred. “Satou-san just told me that she thought it sounded fun. Right?”

“Yeah, it does sound fun.” Apparently, they’d already discussed this.

Regardless, Hirata looked concerned. “How about next time? If we’re going on a double date, I think it’d be better to plan in advance.”

“Well, I guess. But doesn’t the fact that it’s unplanned make it kinda fun?” asked Karuizawa. She sounded excited, as if her heart was set on the double date.

Unlike Hirata and I, who grew anxious without a plan in place, Karuizawa seemed to thrive on spontaneity. Maybe she was looking for a thrill precisely because her romance was fake? I wasn’t so sure. I knew her well enough to doubt this would really be that fun for her. Still, why else would she propose a double date?

“Remember, it’s Christmas,” stated Hirata. He wore a troubled expression.

“You don’t want to, Hirata-kun?” Karuizawa asked bluntly.

“I’m fine with it, personally, but isn’t this up to Satou-san and Ayanokouji-kun?” he asked.

Satou gave Karuizawa a look that seemed to say, “This isn’t too much bother, is it?” I wondered how she really felt about this double-date proposal. “It might be a little sudden, but I’d like to try it…I think,” she said.

Maybe Satou just couldn’t refuse a proposal from Karuizawa, the queen bee of Class D. That really didn’t seem to be the case here, though.

“What do you think, Ayanokouji-kun?” asked Satou.

First the baton had passed from Hirata to Karuizawa, then Karuizawa to Satou, and now from Satou to me. I couldn’t carelessly drop it. “Well…”

Hanging out with just one girl was stressful enough. But a double date? It was a daunting prospect for a dating newbie like me. Still, I didn’t want to be the sole dissenting voice. I supposed that, if Satou was willing, I shouldn’t object.

This still left some problems. Satou and I had planned to watch a movie, and I didn’t know whether that would even be possible anymore, since we might not be able to get seats next to one another. Or maybe ditching those plans was part of being spontaneous?

This date wasn’t going the way I’d expected. Still, I couldn’t say a double date was all bad. There might’ve been awkward moments of silence if I were all alone with Satou, but Hirata and Karuizawa could keep the conversation going smoothly. Besides, even though Haruka said that she’d make sure Airi didn’t bump into us by chance, it might still happen. In that case, it’d probably look more natural if four of us were hanging out, rather than just Satou and me.

“If you three are okay with it, I don’t have any objections,” I said.

Karuizawa immediately took action. “All right. Where were you two planning on going now, anyway?”

Satou looked just a little relieved. Maybe she’d been nervous, too? Maybe she was anxious about being alone with me. “Um, well, Ayanokouji-kun and I planned to see a movie,” she said.

“The one that just opened today?” Karuizawa asked. “Oh, that’s lucky for us. We were also planning to see it. Whoa—it looks like we even picked the same screening! That’s amazing!”

The two girls were incredibly excited about this coincidence. I couldn’t help noticing Satou’s stiff expression, though.

“What a coincidence, huh, Ayanokouji-kun?” This serendipity seemed to surprise even Hirata. Since the movie had just come out, it was quite the stroke of luck.

“What do we do about the assigned seats, though? We can’t change them, can we?” I asked. It was time to see whether these coincidences just kept coming.

“No, we can’t. Let’s see.” Karuizawa fiddled with her phone.

“How’s it look, Karuizawa-san?” asked Satou, peeking.

“It looks like…we’re sitting in different places. Oh well.” Karuizawa showed Hirata their seats. We were in completely different spots. So, this was where the coincidences stopped.

“Okay, I think it’s about time we get going, Ayanokouji-kun!” said Satou.

When we first met up, she’d looked so meek and nervous. Running into Karuizawa and Hirata seemed to restore her usual vigor, and she stuck close to me as we walked. Very close. The four of us, now on a double date, made our way toward the movie theater. We walked through the mall lined up side by side: me, then Satou, then Karuizawa, and finally Hirata.

“Whoa. The two of you look good together,” muttered Karuizawa, watching Satou and me.

“R-really?” asked Satou.

“Yeah. I mean, you guys look like a couple that’s used to spending Christmas together. You know, you just give off those warm, fuzzy vibes,” said Karuizawa.

“Hee hee! She says that we look like a couple, Ayanokouji-kun. Isn’t that embarrassing?” asked Satou.

“Guess so.” Well, we were out on a Christmas date. The observation made sense.

“But you two aren’t, like, officially going out?” Karuizawa asked. “Or are you, hmm?”

“N-no, we’re not. Really. It’s not that kind of relationship!” sputtered Satou.

“Reeeally? If you’re hiding something, you better spill,” said Karuizawa.

Karuizawa was clearly teasing us, but Satou didn’t actually seem to mind. If anything, she seemed like she enjoyed it. It was difficult to wrap my head around at first, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. If people thought that I was dating one of the hottest girls in school, I’d be embarrassed when they teased me. But, at the same time, I’d feel pretty pleased with myself. That said, I doubted that Satou felt so strongly about me.

“That reminds me, Satou-san. You don’t have a boyfriend yet, right?” asked Karuizawa.

“Y-yeah, that’s right.”

Karuizawa was relentless. I half-listened to the conversation, trying to decide how I could survive this double date with my dignity intact. Before I knew it, we were at the theater.

“Well, I guess we gotta part ways for a bit. Don’t mind us, you two,” said Karuizawa.

That was it? She was just taking off? I could usually predict Karuizawa’s behavior, but so much was going on here that I didn’t understand. So, even though this was a double date, it’d just be Satou and me for a while? I didn’t get it, but I decided to go with it.

More to the point, I didn’t know what to say to Satou. I knew almost nothing about her. I’d tried scrounging up information during these past couple days, but I’d gotten nowhere. I hadn’t been able to talk to her at all since before winter vacation. I was sure she was similarly out of her depth.

Granted, I had a few generic questions up my sleeve about things like favorite foods, hobbies, and so on. Now that the moment was here, however, those questions evaporated right out of my head. I didn’t want her to think something like, Whoa, this guy does whatever online self-help guides tell him to.

As I agonized over what to do, Karuizawa’s eyes met mine.

“You’re being pretty quiet, aren’t you? Isn’t the quiet type a tough role to play on a date?”

“I’m not playing a part. I genuinely have no idea what to do.”

We communicated that with a mere exchange of glances. Or maybe I just imagined that was what Karuizawa was thinking. The seconds kept ticking, and no one said anything.

“Satou-san, maybe Ayanokouji-kun doesn’t know what to talk about?” asked Karuizawa. Her question cut through our silence like an arrow.

Satou looked relieved. “Do you like idols, Ayanokouji-kun?” she asked. Maybe she’d wondered what to ask me, too.

She’d lobbed the conversation ball at me; a nice, gentle toss, and easy to catch. “Idols? To be honest, I’m not all that familiar with them. I don’t really like or dislike them, though. Do you like them, Satou?” I asked.

“Yeah, quite a bit. I like those ‘cool’ idols, but I guess girl idol groups are ‘in’ right now. Have you heard anything about those? There’re, like, so many of them.”

“Yeah. They’re on TV every day. You mean those groups that do their own original song-and-dance routines, right?”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. I really love them. There’re so many good songs, too.”

“Hunh.” I nodded at Satou’s relentless idol lecture.

“Ooh—I especially love this one group’s debut single! I’ll lend you the CD,” Satou added.

“Thanks.”

I’d made a conversational error. The discussion was going to fall apart if I only responded “hunh” and “thanks.” Satou would end up doing all the work. She’d tossed me the ball; now, I had to throw it back to her.

“What kinds of songs do you listen to?” she asked.

This time, I’d toss the ball right. What kind of songs did I listen to? That was a surprisingly simple question, but the answer got stuck in my throat. If I opened up to Satou about my interests and hobbies, how would she respond? I mean, if I mentioned Beethoven or Mozart, that’d definitely be a swing and miss. On the other hand, saying that I liked “natural” sounds like rainfall or chirping birds would seem bizarre.

I shouldn’t tell her about my tastes. She wants me to discuss current music, right?

“There was a really popular movie this year, right?” I asked her. “An anime.”

“Uh, yeah. That romance movie, right? It was super moving, wasn’t it?”

“I’ve been listening to stuff by that one group…you know, the group that performed the theme song. That kinda stuff.” I didn’t remember the band’s name, but I had listened to that theme song countless times. I hoped that’d keep the conversation going.

“Ah! I know that band! Yeah, I so love them, too!”

I’d returned the ball, and Satou caught it. However, we couldn’t stay on this topic too much longer.

“You really know a lot about them,” Satou added.

“You think? I just know basic things, really.”

Man, girls were better at conversation than I’d anticipated. It might’ve had something to do with the different expectations that’d existed since the beginning of time for gender roles.

“You’re not part of any clubs, are you? Weren’t you in track and field before?” asked Satou.

This choice of topic was easy to understand; it was likely due to my participation in the relay during the sports festival. “No, I’ve never been in any clubs,” I told Satou.

I mean, I’d been a member of the “go home right after school” club for as long as I could remember.

However, my running skills had clearly impressed Satou. “Really?! Even though you’re super fast?! That’s incredible! I mean, you were even quicker than the student council president!” she exclaimed.

Maybe because of Satou’s giddiness, Karuizawa cut in on our conversation. “Wasn’t the student council president just slow? Like, maybe it was a race between two slowpokes,” she said.

“I don’t think that’s true at all, Karuizawa-san,” replied Satou. “Both of them were really fast.”

“Hmmm. I find that hard to believe. Ayanokouji looks like he’d be no good in a fight. Besides, he’s a really cold dude, you know. Like, if someone close to him came down with a bad flu, he wouldn’t even visit them,” said Karuizawa. Her voice positively dripped with sarcasm.

She’d brought up fighting for no reason at all. I understood the cause of her anger now, at least. Karuizawa resented me because she thought I didn’t care about her. After her horrifying ordeal with Ryuuen on the roof, she could’ve gotten very sick. Maybe she’d proposed the double date to interfere with my plans?

“I don’t see him that way, though. I think Ayanokouji-kun’s a kind person,” said Satou.

“Huh? Really?”

“I think Ayanokouji-kun’s kind, too,” said Hirata.

“Well, now I feel like you’re ganging up on me,” Karuizawa said. Even though she sounded annoyed, I got the feeling that she teased me precisely to make Satou rise to my defense. Almost as if she wanted me and Satou to be an official couple.

“U-um, well, it’s just…you know…well, um…” Satou stammered. She wasn’t smiling anymore. It seemed like she wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words. “U-um, hey, is there anything you’d like to ask me, Ayanokouji-kun?”

Well, the conversation had been pretty one-sided for a while. It was only fair that I take a turn.

“You know how we can’t contact anyone on the outside while we’re here at school? Does that ever bother you at all?” I asked.

Satou pondered her answer. “Yeah. I’ve been worried about a lot of stuff.” She thought a moment longer, then continued. “Back in junior high, I had a cat. I think my mom’s taking care of it for me, but not being able to see it’s been really hard.”

It made sense that being separated from family would be difficult for most. Not being able to see a beloved pet had to be tough, too—almost like a parent not seeing their child.

“Not seeing your cat for three years certainly sounds hard.”

“Did you have any pets, Ayanokouji-kun?”

“Uh, no. I wanted a dog, but my parents didn’t allow it.” That was basically true.

“I see. Speaking of dogs, I saw a little puppy on campus the other day,” said Satou.

“Huh? Really?” asked Karuizawa. Apparently, she was done letting Satou and me talk. She seemed to have really listened to our conversation.

“Yep! It was someone’s pet doggy,” replied Satou. “It was so cute!”

“Since students can’t have pets, it was probably an employee’s or teacher’s,” said Hirata. True, a dog wouldn’t just wander around campus on its own.

“It’d be so nice having a pet,” said Karuizawa. “It’d be the best thing ever.”

“I agree,” Satou replied. “It’d be great to have a pet shop around here.”

“Why aren’t we allowed pets, anyway?”

“I know! It’s totally not okay.”

The two girls got all worked up while Hirata and I walked along in silence. Although pets did a lot for emotional health, I could see numerous reasons why the school wouldn’t want them in the dorms. Even one animal per person would mean potentially hundreds in the building. Besides, if everyone left their pet all alone half the day to attend class…

The girls didn’t seem interested in logic right now, though. They were more preoccupied with the fact that dogs and cats were cute.

I was being a stick-in-the-mud, and kind of unreasonable. Even I was aware of that much. What a stupid thought. Logic wasn’t the point here. If I cut in to remind the girls that they couldn’t have pets, I’d only end up souring the mood.

“I’d like to get a rabbit. They’re relatively easy to raise, and they’re docile,” said Hirata, joining the conversation with ease. Both girls smiled. Men who could easily talk about anything were always popular.

Before I knew it, the time came to switch topics. As I thought about what to say, my eyes met Satou’s. “H-hey, Ayanokouji-kun. Um…”

Satou had been fine a minute ago, but now she stammered again. Her nerves always seemed to give way whenever she really wanted to ask something. Was she like this with everyone, or just the opposite sex? She seemed ready to speak, but then closed her mouth again. It was probably an extra-difficult question.

“So, what’s your type, Ayanokouji-kun? In girls, I mean?” Before Satou could get the words out, Karuizawa asked me that question.

“I-I’m curious about that, too,” said Satou, sounding relieved. Maybe it was the very question she wanted to ask. In that case, perhaps this double date wasn’t such a coincidence after all. I’d had a vague suspicion of that from the beginning.

Either way, I needed to answer. The kind of girl I like, huh? “That’s a tricky question,” I said.

Satou’s eyes sparkled, but Karuizawa glared at me. Hirata, meanwhile, looked like he was enjoying this.

“Spirited, I guess?” I finally replied. The moment I said it out loud, I knew that wasn’t exactly the right word. Many—maybe even most—girls might consider themselves “spirited.” Satou and Karuizawa didn’t seem thrilled by my response, either.

“Hunh. I didn’t think you’d be into girls like that, Ayanokouji-kun,” remarked Karuizawa.

Were Satou and Karuizawa both the spirited type? They definitely weren’t as dour as Horikita. But Kushida and Ichinose were spirited, too. Right?

“Wait, do you think there’re only two types of girls, Ayanokouji-kun? The spirited type, and the quiet, gentle type?” Karuizawa added.

“Is that true?” Satou asked me.

“No, it’s not. It’s just that I’m relatively quiet, so I thought it’d be nice to date a girl who was sort of the opposite. If I misspoke, I take it back,” I told Satou and Karuizawa. I had a feeling I might’ve insulted them.

“So, what’s going on between you and Horikita-san? What’s the deal there?” asked Karuizawa.

Still with the interrogation. I wanted to say it was none of Karuizawa’s business, but Satou’s expression had clearly changed. This might be another question she also wanted to know the answer to.

Very few people understood my relationship with Horikita, but I knew that Karuizawa did. Therefore, she’d asked for Satou’s sake. If Satou had any affection for me, she must’ve confided in Karuizawa about it, resulting in the double date. In other words, Satou must’ve asked Karuizawa to back her up, so Karuizawa was digging for information, helping where she could.

I didn’t know which of them initially came up with the double-date idea, but I assumed that Karuizawa concocted the plan’s finer points.

“There’s nothing going on between Horikita and me. I mean, we’re both doing our own thing on Christmas.” The proof of the pudding was in the eating, as they said.

“But that doesn’t necessarily mean that nothing’s going on, right?” asked Karuizawa. She really wasn’t letting this go. “Maybe you’re interested in Horikita-san, but she’s not into you. Maybe you don’t have the guts to actually ask her out. Hmm, Ayanokouji-kun?”

“I suppose it’s possible.” I mean, anything was possible.

“S-so, was hanging out with me a bother, then?” asked Satou anxiously.

“Like I said, if I didn’t want to, I would’ve said no.”

“I see. I’m relieved to hear that.”

“But there’re totally guys out there who try to keep their options open when the girl they actually like doesn’t like them. You know, they have a girl they can fall back on if their crush doesn’t work out,” said Karuizawa.

A rather nasty thing to say. If I responded with something like, “Do I seem like someone with that much game?”, she might answer “Yes,” and then I’d be stuck. Was she hounding me like this for Satou’s sake? I felt as if I were trying to ford a crocodile-infested river.

“Do I seem like someone with that much game?” I asked.

“Yes, you do.”

“Hey.” Just as I thought, I’d jumped in the river and been spectacularly devoured.

“Maybe you’re really in love with Horikita-san, but hanging out with Satou-san like she’s a consolation prize, right?” said Karuizawa. Now she was just trying to make me look like a jerk. Maybe she didn’t want things to work out between me and Satou.

“I don’t think that Ayanokouji-kun is the kind of person who’d do that, though,” said Satou. “Right, Ayanokouji-kun?”

“I’m not that clever,” I replied.

The moment I said that, Karuizawa changed her angle of attack. “Aren’t you pretty close to Kushida-san too, Ayanokouji-kun?”

“R-really?!” Satou jumped as if she hadn’t noticed who I hung around with at all.

“I think Kushida gets along with everybody,” I said. The crocodiles weren’t just in the river anymore. They’d abandoned the water to fly through the air, chasing me.

“Aren’t most guys in love with Kushida-san, though?” Karuizawa mused.

“What do you think, Hirata?” I asked. I needed him to save me from these flying crocodiles.

“Kushida-san’s quite popular, but I don’t think everyone necessarily wants to date her. Anyway, I doubt Ayanokouji-kun has feelings for anyone in particular,” he replied.

Hirata to the rescue. He’d swooped in and solved all my problems, exactly as I’d hoped.

“If Yousuke-kun says so, I suppose it must be true,” said Karuizawa. She still seemed dissatisfied, but she relented. Hirata’s words carried weight that wasn’t easy to dismiss.

Go, go, Hirata.

“Hey, you four. Got a minute?” As we were about to enter the movie theater, someone called out to us. We turned around. “You’re Ayanokouji, right?”

“Yeah, I am.”

I was going to ask who he was, but the words got caught in my throat. He had a sharp gleam in his eye and a certain je ne sais quoi about him. I’d seen him on several occasions. There probably wasn’t a student at this school who didn’t know Nagumo Miyabi from the second-year Class A.

Several students hung around Nagumo, probably his friends. Among them were student council members: Secretaries Mizowaki and Tonokawa, and Vice President Kiriyama. There was a single first-year student, too: Ichinose Honami, from Class B. When I noticed her, she only gave me a gentle smile.

After the arrival of such distinguished upperclassmen, the double date’s atmosphere grew tense. The student council members paid no attention to me, continuing their conversations.

One senior, however, glanced at me. I recognized the girl. She was the upperclassman who’d dropped her phone charm when we passed each other some time ago. “You’re a first-year, right? Miyabi’s friend?”

“I’ve never actually talked to him before,” Nagumo told her. “You don’t remember? He was the student who squared off against Horikita-senpai in the relay race.”

“Ah, okay. I thought I recognized him from somewhere.”

“Hey, can we talk for a minute? You have some time, right?” Nagumo asked me.

It was obvious that the four of us were hanging out. Even so, being invited to talk to a senior student—and the new student council president, to boot—was an offer I couldn’t refuse. Satou shrank back, and Karuizawa looked slightly upset.

Hirata stepped forward. He was probably the only person in our group who could face off against Nagumo. Still, he couldn’t just say “another time” to an upperclassman. I wondered how he’d settle this.

“Good morning, Nagumo-senpai.”

“Hi, Hirata. How’s soccer going?”

Before taking on the student council president role, Nagumo played with the soccer club. Hirata clearly intended to make use of that.

“We’re giving it all we’ve got. You should join us for practice next time. Excuse me, senpai, but did Ayanokouji-kun do something wrong?” asked Hirata.

“Huh? Oh, no. I wouldn’t pick on one of my underclassmen, would I? I just wanted to talk to him, is all,” Nagumo laughed. From the look in his eyes, however, it seemed more serious. If I didn’t step in soon, things might get worse.

“Can I help you with something?” I asked in a formal, stiff tone.

“Come on, don’t get all nervous. Well, I guess that’s too much to ask. You guys go on ahead,” Nagumo said to his friends. Maybe he thought the large crowd intimidated me.

“Hurry up, okay?”

“Got it.”

Nagumo sent his entourage off. As we watched them leave, he spoke again. “We’re going to karaoke. You guys wanna join us later?”

“Well, I—”

“I’m joking. I mean, if someone like you joined us, it’d ruin the mood,” he replied with a scornful laugh. “So, you’re the student Horikita-senpai’s been so fixated on. I’m just following the rumors, is all.”

“Are you talking about the relay race, Senpai?” asked Hirata, expertly jumping into the conversation.

“Yeah. You watched that too, huh?”

“Yes. I already knew that Ayanokouji-kun was really fast.” A lie, but Nagumo had no way of knowing that. “Besides the race, what’s Ayanokouji-kun done to make you notice him?”

“On the outside, he’s an ordinary student, except for how fast he is. Hmm,” said Nagumo, wearing a stern look. He grabbed my arm.

Satou, Karuizawa, and Hirata looked shocked. It probably seemed like we were on the verge of a brawl. Even Hirata, who knew Nagumo, froze.

“President Nagumo, you’re totally nuts,” Karuizawa laughed, clearly trying to defuse the situation.

“Oh, did I scare you? Sorry. My bad,” replied Nagumo, looking at her amiably. He didn’t let go of my arm. “I do have a high opinion of Horikita-senpai’s instincts,” he told me. “If he sees something in you, you must be special.”

“You must really trust his opinion. The student council president’s, I mean,” I replied.

“Former student council president. After he graduates, I have a whole year at this school. Won’t you play with me?”

I knew things were fraught between the elder Horikita and Nagumo, but I hadn’t thought that they were intense enough for Nagumo to preemptively attack me. I’d taken him for the type who was happy as long as people around him were content. That didn’t seem to be the case anymore. He wanted to make a show of his strength as a threat.

“May I ask something?” I asked. Until now, I’d been completely passive. Nagumo smiled. “When you became student council president, you said that things would get interesting at this school. You said that talented students would rise to the top. What’re you planning?”

I might as well ask at this point.

“I imagine that you first years have had some shitty, boring tests so far. I’ve had it up to here with those banal games. What if we had a special test based on a popular online game? Don’t you think that sounds really interesting?” he asked.

“An…online game?” I blinked in surprise.

Nagumo chuckled. “Don’t be so serious.” He let go of my arm, still laughing, but his eyes remained dead. “Sorry for pushing in on your date. See ya around.” With that, Nagumo followed his friends toward the karaoke place.

We were all silent a moment.

“Whew. Now, that sure was something, wasn’t it?” asked Hirata, relieved that nothing had happened.

Satou, who’d been utterly silent, suddenly bubbled over with excitement. “Th-that’s amazing, Ayanokouji-kun! W-wow, to think the student council president thinks so highly of you!” she exclaimed.

“It’s really not that big a deal,” I said, but Satou remained starry-eyed.

“I dunno. I mean, the only thing Ayanokouji-kun has going for him is that he’s, like, a fast runner,” said Karuizawa, giving Hirata a smile. “Yousuke-kun’s a hundred times more amazing. He’s super fast—like, the fastest. And he’s really smart, too. I mean, if Nagumo had his eye on anyone, it’d be Yousuke-kun, right? Isn’t this weird?”

“I definitely think that Hirata-kun’s amazing, but…but…but I don’t think that he could beat Ayanokouji-kun!” Satou stammered.

It was nice that Satou believed in me, but she didn’t need to go that far. Besides, she’d make Karuizawa snappish if she kept saying stuff like that.

“Yousuke-kun couldn’t beat him? Uh, aren’t Ayanokouji-kun’s grades totally lame compared to Yousuke-kun’s, though?” asked Karuizawa.

“W-well, that’s… He’s still smarter than me!” said Satou.

I mean, she wasn’t wrong—but I wished she wouldn’t say it so proudly.

“Isn’t that great, Ayanokouji-kun? Satou-san thinks so highly of you. Though it’s weird that you get all this attention just by running fast,” said Karuizawa.

“I guess,” I said. Ah yes, Karuizawa. My biggest admirer.

I had a sinking feeling that she was going to be like this all day.

5.2

 

THE MOVIE THEATER was even fuller than it’d been the other day, which made sense, between them fixing the equipment malfunction and the release of some hot new titles. I didn’t see Ibuki. Maybe she wasn’t interested in an American animated film, or maybe she was just avoiding the crowds, planning to see it later.

Everyone got their tickets, and we went in.

“Oh, uh, that reminds me, Karuizawa-san. Would you please come with me to the bathroom?” asked Satou.

“Sure. The movie’s gonna start soon, though, so let’s hurry.”

Satou dragged Karuizawa to the bathroom, leaving me with Hirata.

“How do I put this? Nicely done,” said Hirata. “Karuizawa-san’s the first classmate I tried to save, you see.”

He was wasting his Christmas on a fake date with Karuizawa. Could it be that he genuinely had feelings for her? No. His neutral expression gave me the sense that that wasn’t the case. All I saw was Hirata Yousuke, someone who always put others ahead of himself.

“I’m really grateful for what you did for Karuizawa-san, Ayanokouji-kun.”

“I didn’t do much.”

“I’m glad that you and Karuizawa-san were in the same group during the ship test. She can stand on her own two feet now, without me.”

“She’s not quite there yet, though. Right?”

“You mean, because I’m still pretending to be her boyfriend?”

“Yeah.” Karuizawa had grown. She was stronger and more resilient, and Hirata sensed that. She wouldn’t truly be free until she left him, though.

“It’s just a matter of time, I think,” Hirata said. “We barely talk anymore. Apart from her plans today, I don’t think she needs me now.”

“This might be blunt, but are you really okay with wasting your Christmas on this?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’m Karuizawa-san’s boyfriend, after all. I mean, I haven’t wanted to date any other girls. I probably won’t in the future, either.”

“Really?”

“You see, Ayanokouji-kun, if everyone else is happy, then I’m happy,” he said.

“So, you don’t need romance?”

“I don’t. That’s how I feel right now, anyway.”

Hirata was blessed with such good looks, a great personality, and so much talent. What a waste.

“What about you, Ayanokouji-kun? Do you want to go out with Satou-san?” he asked.

“Well…” No, not really. But saying that would be like negating the date itself. “I don’t know. I can’t really say right now.”

“This might not be my place, since I just said that I don’t need romance…but I think it might be good for you to go out with someone, Ayanokouji-kun.”

“What, are you gonna hit me with the ‘you’ve never had a girlfriend before, better get on that’ speech?”

“Ha ha ha! No, no. I mean, it’s certainly true that you don’t seem to have had a relationship. But I don’t think that’s because you’re unpopular. Is it because you just haven’t found anyone you like romantically?” he asked.

“Honestly, it’s both. I’ve never been popular, and I haven’t found anyone.”

The White Room didn’t specifically forbid romantic relationships. There just wasn’t any way for romance to blossom. Playtime, holidays—they didn’t exist there. We were monitored constantly, except during toilet breaks and bath time. You couldn’t grow close to someone under those circumstances.

“Isn’t it exhausting, though? Always putting yourself second? Sacrificing yourself for the class’s sake?” I asked.

“Exhausting? On the contrary, it’s a lot more exhausting to see the class in disarray. Honestly, my anxiety’s gone way down since I started at this school.”

True. Back on the island, when the class had nearly fallen apart, I saw Hirata come close to his breaking point. He’d clearly improved now that Class D was coming together.

Hirata Yousuke was one of Class D’s real leaders. He was indispensable, but also worryingly fragile. The island test worked out fine in the end, but I couldn’t predict what’d happen to Hirata if the class broke down again…due to Kushida, for instance. Back in junior high, she’d caused her class’s total collapse. Even now, she was working against Horikita, implying that she’d destroy her own class if she deemed it necessary.

If that happened, Hirata might snap. If the class’s very heart stopped beating, who knew?

Since the two girls hadn’t returned yet, I switched topics. “How much do you know about Student Council President Nagumo, Hirata?” I asked. They’d been in the same club, after all.

“Not much, really. Outside the club, I don’t really interact with him. And since he became student council president, we only really ever say hi to each other in the hall.”

“Okay then, what’s your impression of him?”

“I guess I thought that he was an interesting upperclassman. He introduced bold, exciting new ideas, even for soccer practice. They didn’t always work, but they were fascinating, even when they made practice especially tough.” Hirata chuckled. “Anyway, he always gets results. Apparently, he’s even led his team to victory in major tournaments.”

“So, he’s the perfect upperclassman, huh?”

“Well, I’m not sure I’d put it like that.” Hirata shook his head. “The road to glory is hard. Quite a few people have left the club.”

“I haven’t heard any rumors about that.”

“Probably because those students aren’t here anymore. The second years who butted heads with Nagumo-senpai quit the club and dropped out of school.”

“Isn’t that a little extreme?”

“I don’t know the details…like how much Nagumo-senpai was involved.”

Maybe Nagumo wasn’t the sole reason the students had dropped out. Maybe they left for personal reasons. What bothered me was what Horikita’s brother had said earlier, about how Nagumo removed anyone who stood in his way.

Nagumo was the light, and those who opposed him were shadows. He wanted to thoroughly eradicate that darkness, but it wasn’t so simple. Where there was light, there were always shadows. No matter how many you eliminated, new ones arose.

“Are you joining the student council, Ayanokouji-kun?” asked Hirata. A reasonable deduction, given our conversation thus far.

“No, I’m not.” I made sure to be very clear. Even if Horikita ultimately refused, I absolutely wasn’t going to join. That would be more than a small favor, and it would have a huge impact on my life. I’m sure I could install Karuizawa in my place as a puppet, if it came to that.

She wasn’t the best candidate for the job, though. I needed someone who would follow my orders without question, who was talented enough to join the student council on their own merits, and whose presence wouldn’t seem odd. Hardly anyone in our class cleared all three hurdles.

“I see. I think you’d do quite well if you joined, Ayanokouji-kun.”

“I should be the one saying that to you, Hirata. You’re student-council material.”

“I’m not a good fit. Besides, I don’t want to quit my club.” He liked soccer that much, apparently.

If Hirata did join the student council, I’d have another card to play. I wasn’t going to press him any further, though. I was still happy in the outfield, catching whatever came my way.

“Well, student-council issues aside, we’ll probably have a tough time starting next month, won’t we?” Hirata asked.

“You mean, because the school will bump us up to Class C?”

“Yeah. A and B will be wary of us, and the new Class D will try to trip us up. If we make a wrong move, we could be Class D again as early as February.”

It was natural to be apprehensive. Class point totals rose and fell all the time. Even a trivial mistake could make Hirata’s fears come true.

“I do think everyone wants to reach Class A, though,” Hirata said.

“Do you think they’ll still feel that way if it takes backbreaking work?”

“That’s exactly the problem. Aiming for the top requires a lot of the class.” Just as Hirata was about to say something else, the girls called us.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting, Ayanokouji-kun!”

Karuizawa and Satou were back, halting my conversation with Hirata. Since the movie was about to begin, we headed into the auditorium together.

5.3

 

I DIDN’T NORMALLY WATCH animated films, but this movie exceeded my expectations. The animals were surprisingly expressive, and the story was moving, if simple. I left the theater with Satou, who tightly clutched the juice she’d bought.

“That was really good!” she exclaimed.

I couldn’t help but agree. I was just getting hungry, too—with perfect timing. Hirata and Karuizawa exited slightly after us, and we hurried to our lunch reservation.

While we walked, Satou resumed our conversation. “Hey, um, Ayanokouji-kun. Do you mind if I ask you something that might sound kinda…insensitive?”

Maybe because we’d both enjoyed the movie, Satou was walking closer to me than before. It wasn’t just physical closeness. Our emotional distance had closed by about a half step.

“Fire away.” If I could answer, I would.

“I have a question too!” Even though we were having separate conversations, Karuizawa butted in again.

Hirata spoke up as well. “Why don’t we all take turns asking each other questions?”

Hmm, not a bad idea. I could ask Hirata some things that’d been on my mind for a while.

“Sounds good! I’ll go first,” replied Karuizawa. She immediately looked at me. “Have you ever gone out with anyone before, Ayanokouji-kun?”

Hirata had asked me the same question. To be more precise, he hadn’t asked so much as discerned the answer. It was hard to believe this had been brought up twice in a single day. It wasn’t a comfortable topic, but Karuizawa and Satou both fixed their gazes on me.

“Right now, no.” I tried to keep it vague. It felt like Karuizawa was just messing with me.

“In other words, your age equals the number of years you haven’t had a girlfriend,” replied Karuizawa.

Well, that was brusque.

“You know, Ayanokouji-kun, that’s just the kind of evasive answer an unpopular guy would give,” she added.

“Really? Even if I had a girlfriend in the past, I don’t have one right now,” I said.

“So, you had one, then?”

“Well…no.”

“See, I told you!” Karuizawa exclaimed. She bounced up and down.

Satou seemed glad, too. “I don’t think that’s bad, though. Like, if you were obviously unpopular like Yamauchi-kun or Onizuka-kun, that’d be one thing. But it’s more like you’re just not in a rush. That’s all. Right, Ayanokouji-kun?”

“You understand Ayanokouji-kun pretty well, Satou-san.”

“I…wish I understood him, but I still don’t really know much about him at all. That’s why I’d like to ask him some questions. Hey, um, Ayanokouji-kun. Which do you like better? Girls with long hair, or girls with short hair?” Satou asked.

Fairly straightforward questions: the type of girl I liked, whether I had a girlfriend, and now, what kind of hairstyle I preferred. Together, these questions seemed designed to construct a specific girl’s image.

“I don’t really care. As long as it suits the girl, it doesn’t really matter,” I replied.

“That’s a boring answer,” Karuizawa shot back. She loved pointing out my failings.

“I feel the same way. Whether it’s a guy or girl, if it suits them, it’s not an issue,” replied Hirata, swooping in with the assist.

Karuizawa gave him a smile. “Honestly, I think the same thing, you know? Even though some girls change their hair to suit their partner’s taste, it’s pointless if it doesn’t look good on you. Right?”

She always supported Hirata’s ideas in public. Still, this was becoming ridiculous. If Karuizawa wanted to get Satou and me together, why was she going to such lengths to paint a negative picture of me?

“I think that’s great, not caring about hairstyles and things like that!” said Satou.

Far from seeing me in a negative light, Satou’s eyes sparkled. Karuizawa looked at her with something like respect. No matter how hard she tried to knock me down, Satou would lift me back up.

“Hey, Hirata. Are you aware of how popular you are?” I asked.

Karuizawa glared at me when I asked that. Satou assumed a weird expression, too.

“You should ask Satou-san questions, not Yousuke-kun,” said Karuizawa.

“That’s right. It feels like Ayanokouji-kun and Hirata-kun are gonna propose marriage to each other or something,” Satou joked.

“Okay, but…” I trailed off.

Since Satou didn’t know my extensive history with Karuizawa, I couldn’t just start talking to her. It was still hard for me to jump into conversation with Satou, since I didn’t know her very well. Therefore, I’d turned to Hirata. No matter how delicate the situation, Hirata could handle it. Besides, there were things I wanted to know about him.

“You can ask me anything, Ayanokouji-kun,” said Satou.

“Let’s see…”

As I struggled to escape this nightmare, we arrived at the restaurant. The conversation came to a merciful halt. Since Satou made reservations beforehand, we were instantly guided to our seats. The table had hand towels and disposable chopsticks…for four people.

“Huh? It’s for four?” The reservation was for two. It should just have been Satou and me.

“Uh, I asked Satou-san about this place when we went to the bathroom. I added seats to the reservation. Right, Satou-san?” said Karuizawa.

“Y-yeah.”

“You’ve really got this handled, huh?” I said.

“I mean, I guess. When it comes to things like this, I’ve got lots of experience. Guess you could say I’m a battle-hardened veteran,” said Karuizawa.

“You liar.” I told her silently, with my eyes.

She glared back at me. “Don’t give me that, Kiyotaka. You’ve never gone out with anyone before in your life!” Her eyes were very expressive.

“Is there anything you want to ask Satou-san, Ayanokouji-kun?” Karuizawa repeated. Apparently, I wasn’t escaping this conversation.

“What do you usually do on your days off?” I asked.

Karuizawa reacted with blatant shock. “Seriously? That’s the best you can do?”

Even Hirata looked perplexed by the irritation Karuizawa radiated at this point. She probably wondered why I wasn’t using any of the information she’d helped me acquire about Satou. However, I hadn’t done research with the intent of specifically leveraging it to make this date succeed or anything. I wanted to know more about Satou as a person. That was all.

“It’s okay, Karuizawa-san. I’m happy that Ayanokouji-kun asked me something,” said Satou with a smile. “Hmm. Well, I like to hang out with friends, I suppose. It’s boring to be all alone.”

She was probably talking about her group of girlfriends. I could clearly picture them hanging out.

“But, sometimes, I like to read about stuff on my own. Like fashion design, for example,” Satou continued sheepishly. “I just think that becoming a designer might be pretty cool, I suppose.”

“Oh? This is the first I’m hearing about that. So, you’re one of those people, huh, Satou-san?” asked Karuizawa. I had absolutely no idea what she meant. It seemed like girls had their own secret code that only other girls understood.

Satou nodded. “I thought if I graduated from Class A, I could get in somewhere good.”

It wasn’t a bad thing to aim for Class A, but Satou should also have considered what to do if she graduated from Class B or below.

“Have you thought about what you’ll do in the future, Ayanokouji-kun?” asked Satou, gently tossing the ball back at me.

Since I hadn’t given any real thought to my future, I gave a safe answer. “College, I guess.”

“Ugh, no thanks. Not for me. I definitely don’t want to have to study even more,” said Satou. “I mean, compulsory education ends after junior high, but it seems like it doesn’t really end until after high school, right? People make fun of you if you stop at junior high.”

It was certainly true that the social norm was to finish high school. It was still sort of compulsory education, in that sense.

“I’m probably gonna go to university too. College clubs seem like they’d be really fun,” said Karuizawa, surprising me by not rejecting the notion of higher education. Her answer was vague too, but everyone seemed to be thinking about the future.

It was kind of fun hanging out in a group I didn’t normally spend time with—but exhausting at the same time. Doing this every day would’ve been extremely tiring.

5.4

 

AFTER WE FINISHED EATING, we wandered around Keyaki Mall for a bit. It was after four now, and the double date—which had gone for almost five hours at this point—was nearly over. The day was unexpectedly fun, despite Karuizawa’s attempts to introduce complications. Still, I didn’t want to do it again.

“So, what next?” I asked. I knew it was possible that Satou wanted to add another stop to our date.

“Well, maybe we should head back, huh, Yousuke-kun?” asked Karuizawa, switching from happily bullying me to being suddenly considerate. Her goal from here on out was to leave Satou and me alone. I could see her and Satou signaling one another via eye contact.

Hirata nodded. “Yeah, it’s getting late. Let’s head on back, Karuizawa. It was fun hanging out with you today, Ayanokouji-kun. See you later. You too, Satou-san.”

Spending an entire day with Hirata had convinced me that he was truly a person of noble character. A saint. Hirata could get along with anyone. If this double date had succeeded, it was entirely due to him.

“Thank you both so much,” said Satou.

Hirata and Karuizawa walked off at a brisk pace. Satou waved goodbye.

“So, what are we going to do now?” I asked.

“Oh, um…how about we take a little detour on our way back?” she suggested.

With no particular reason to decline, I agreed.

“Okay, then let’s go.”

We got back on the path to the dorms. Satou, who’d chattered rapid-fire up until a little while ago, grew quiet.

“I’m sorry about this turning into a double date and all,” she said.

“I was surprised at first,” I admitted.

“Those two really are amazing, aren’t they? They’re just, like, made for each other,” said Satou. “I really look up to them, you know?”

“Definitely.”

Even though we were walking close together, our hands weren’t touching. Not a single ounce of the boldness Satou displayed in front of Karuizawa and Hirata remained. It wasn’t awkward or anything, but the mood had changed for sure.

“Thanks for inviting me today. I had fun,” I told her.

For some reason, Satou still looked anxious. “Hey, Ayanokouji-kun…you didn’t really have fun today, did you?”

“No, I did.” I was being genuine, but for some reason, Satou didn’t believe me.

“But…”

“Why would you think that?” I asked.

“Well, it’s just…you didn’t smile once today, Ayanokouji-kun.”

“I didn’t smile?”

Satou kept going. “I would’ve liked to see you smile at least once, but…” I really didn’t have any complaints about how the day went, though. As I wondered how to explain that, Satou spoke up again. “Does the fact that I once wanted to mess with Horikita-san have something to do with it?” She looked anxious, like she was about to cry.

When we first started school, Horikita had been something of a loner, with a strong tendency to mock her classmates. Understandably, this didn’t make Satou fond of her. As a matter of fact, Satou once proposed messing with Horikita in a group chat. I shot the idea down, but Satou clearly remembered.

“I really don’t mind,” I said. “I completely forgot about that.”

“Really?”

“Well, it’s not surprising that people didn’t like Horikita back then. Besides, Horikita herself wasn’t in the group chat when you brought it up, and it’s not like you actually did anything to her. I wouldn’t judge someone based on such a trivial thing,” I told Satou.

Everybody gossiped. As long as you didn’t actually hurt the person in question, it wasn’t a big deal.

“Really?” asked Satou.

“Yeah. Really.”

“But you still didn’t have fun, did you? I mean, you didn’t smile.”

“Well, I’m just genuinely bad at smiling, is all.”

I had no idea whether Satou believed me. She probably thought I said that to console her. Truthfully, I might still disappoint her. I just didn’t feel the way about her that she clearly felt about me, so, in a sense, her concerns about my not having fun weren’t entirely off the mark. I had enjoyed hanging out, but I hadn’t enjoyed it in the way Satou hoped.

“You’re not convinced?” I asked.

“Well, it’s not that I’m not convinced, but…” Satou trailed off. She turned away briefly, got something out of her bag, and held it behind her. “U-um, hey…” She steeled her gaze, as though gathering all her courage for some mighty task. Apparently, she was about to confirm my fears. “Um…p-please go out with me, Ayanokouji-kun!”

A strong gust of wind whooshed past.

It was the first romantic confession I’d ever received.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed someone hiding in the bushes, but I ignored them for the time being. Prolonging this would only hurt Satou more. I chose my words immediately, being as honest as I could out of respect for Satou’s courage.

“I’m sorry, Satou. I can’t be that for you.”

“Oh! I-I see. I guess it’s hopeless, huh?” Satou, clearly fighting not to break down, gave me a small smile. “W-well, for future reference, could you maybe tell me why? Is there someone else you like?”

“It’s not like that. I’m just not ready for a relationship. It’s really me, not you,” I told her. “No matter who asked me out right now, my answer would be the same…whether it was you, Satou, or someone like Horikita or Kushida. I can’t go out with someone if I don’t love them back.”

I’d give Airi the same answer if she ever decided to tell me about her feelings.

“This might sound kind of lame, but I’ve never had feelings for anyone yet. I’m not rejecting you, personally. I just haven’t really matured enough to handle romance,” I said.

“I see.”

There wasn’t anything else I could say.

“Maybe I rushed things. It’s not like you can really know a person after just one date,” Satou reasoned. She nodded as if having a conversation with herself. Frankly, such an honest confession had required a tremendous amount of courage on her part.

“I might’ve missed out on my chance,” I said quietly. I’d turned down a girl who was honest and brave. Some part of me felt like I was making a mistake. It was the part of me that wanted a fun, normal high school career, including finding a girlfriend. But I didn’t say anything.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I didn’t know who was calling me, but I couldn’t answer it right now.

Satou put the gift-wrapped box back into her bag. “Thank you for everything today, Ayanokouji-kun.”

She understood that my reply and feelings wouldn’t change. Even if Satou liked me in this moment, she might not feel that way tomorrow. Maybe she’d find a new love. However, I’d never forget that Satou was the first to say she loved me.

“Is it…okay if I ask you to hang out again?” she asked.

“Of course. I had fun with you, Satou. I’d like to hang out, too.” I really meant it.

“Yeah.” Satou nodded.

Even though the awkwardness was still there, things were rapidly returning to normal. The winter cold pierced through us.

“It’s freezing. Should we head back?” I asked. We couldn’t just stand around here forever. However, when I started to move, Satou remained firmly in place.

“Satou?” I looked back to see tears welling in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away with her arm and smiled at me.

“Sorry. I think I’ll go on ahead!” With that, Satou ran through the snow, leaving me behind.

I quietly watched her go. “Guess I understand.”

I waited until she was out of sight, making sure we wouldn’t bump into each other in the dorm lobby, before resuming my walk home.

If my issues with the student council and my father didn’t exist, maybe I could’ve answered Satou differently. If she’d told me her feelings before the relay and my father’s visit, I might’ve accepted. Ironic, since the relay was what made her develop feelings for me.

A normal boy in his first year of high school might’ve taken up the first girl to offer him affection. But I wasn’t normal. Better to keep things simple.

“Now then…” I had to take care of some unfinished business before I could call it a night. As I headed for a patch of bushes, my phone rang again. Onscreen were the words unidentified caller. For a moment, I thought about ignoring the call, but then accepted it and brought the phone to my ear.

The mystery caller remained silent, even after a few seconds.

“Hello?” I said. However, there was no reply. “I’m hanging up.”

“Can I trust you?” came the voice on the other end.

“Who are you? Why should I trust you?” I threw the question back at them.

“What Horikita-senpai talked about. Taking down Nagumo. Are you willing to help?”

Ah. So, Horikita’s brother told that previously mentioned second-year student about me. Still, calling from an unidentified number? This person sure was paranoid.

“What’s your name?” they asked. The elder Horikita gave them my phone number, but not my name? Well, if they had my phone number, they could figure the rest out with a little digging.

“I don’t think you need that right now,” I answered.

“Fine. I have a pretty good idea of who you are, anyway. I recognize your voice.” That narrowed down the options for who they were, too. Not many second-year students were that familiar with my voice. “I want to meet you right now,” they continued.

I’d expected as much. “Shouldn’t you be more careful about this?” I asked. It was almost dusk. It’d be dark soon.

“It’s fine. Can you meet me immediately?”

I glanced over at the bushes. “Yeah. You’re in luck, too.”

“In luck?”

“To be honest, if it were any other time, I would’ve refused.”

I’m sure the mystery caller found this baffling. “There’s a secluded spot next to the school building,” they said. “Meet me there in ten minutes.”

“Sorry, but I’ve got a little business to take care of. Is it okay if we meet in twenty?” I asked.

“Fine.”

The call ended. It wouldn’t take longer than five minutes to reach the meeting spot, but I’d given myself a little time buffer. That meant I should conclude my business in the next fifteen minutes. Someone was waiting for me, and it was cold out here.

“If you stay there, you’ll freeze to death,” I said to the person in the bushes.

No one answered.

“I have to go. Is it okay if I leave you here?” I asked.

Finally, a voice answered hesitantly, “When did you notice me?”

“Right at the start. You heard Satou confess her feelings, right, Karuizawa?” I asked.

“N-not really. I only heard a little.” Karuizawa stood up from her hiding place. Since she’d hidden in the bushes, snow had fallen on her shoulders. “Brr…it’s cold.”

“What happened to Hirata?” I asked.

“Dunno. He probably went home.” She stepped onto the path, brushing the dirt and snow off herself. She’d waited in the cold so long that her nose was red.

“It’s freezing, huh?”

“I guess.”

Still acting tough, then.

However, something was bothering Karuizawa more than the frigid night. “Anyway, why did you turn Satou-san down?”

“What do you mean? You said it yourself, didn’t you? It’s despicable to go out with someone you don’t actually have feelings for.”

“Well, sure, but…don’t they say something like ‘if you don’t eat, you don’t get a toothpick’?”

“Uh, I think the expression you’re looking for is ‘not eating the meal set before him is a man’s shame.’ Like, it’s shameful to spurn a woman’s advances,” I replied. “Still, Satou’s a normal girl. She wants a normal romance. Do you really think I can give her that?”

“That’s…well, it’s kinda hard to picture.”

Karuizawa understood me better than most people. She knew how much I’d actually have liked a normal life. Still, I couldn’t give Satou what she wanted. Even if I made myself date her, I’d waste her time. These few years at school were a precious resource.

“Look, it might not be my place to say, but don’t you think you’re being a little too humble?” asked Karuizawa.

“Humble?”

“I mean, yeah, you’re not like normal guys, Kiyotaka. On top of that, you pretend to be someone you’re not, right?”

“I think it’s more that I choose not to reveal everything.”

“So, yeah, some girls would probably be disappointed by who you really are. But when someone’s really in love, that kind of stuff doesn’t matter, y’know? I mean, I think Satou-san would’ve accepted you as you are,” said Karuizawa.

“Is that what you meant by ‘humble’?”

“Yeah. Well, since you already turned her down, I suppose you can’t take it back. Even though I, like, went through all the trouble of shooting love’s arrow at you. I didn’t even miss; it just bounced right off you.”

“Love’s arrow?”

“Forget it. It doesn’t matter.” She gave a devilish chuckle. “Girls get over stuff fast. Satou-san will probably fall for another guy soon, won’t she?”

“Nothing I can do about that.”

“Whoa. I think I hear some regret in your voice.”

“Knock it off. This was my decision.”

Karuizawa seemed unconvinced. “Couldn’t you have tried going out with her to see what it’s like? I’m sure you were aware of her feelings for you. Inviting someone out on Christmas isn’t what someone who’s ‘just your friend’ does. When you accepted the invitation, didn’t you know what she wanted?”

“Isn’t it possible that going on the date allowed me to determine that I’m not compatible with Satou?” I asked.

“That’s… Well, sure. But, from what I saw, things looked like they were going well. You seemed to be having a lot of fun.”

“To be perfectly honest, I’m not entirely opposed to the idea of dating Satou.”

“S-see? I knew it.”

“I probably could’ve had some good times with her,” I said.

Karuizawa looked angry now. “What do you mean, ‘good times’?”

“I mean, exploring things. All the way. You know.” I tried to convey the idea as mildly as I could.

Karuizawa understood what I was getting at. “Huh?! Y-you mean, you would’ve gone out with her for such a gross reason?!” she shouted.

“Haven’t you ever wanted to do it?” I asked.

“I-I don’t know! I don’t know anything about that kind of stuff! It’s a whole different world to me!”

“And you’ve never thought about exploring that unknown world?”

“That’s…that’s, well… Doesn’t it matter who your partner is?” she asked.

“Well, I guess you wouldn’t just want to do it with anyone.” Ideally, you’d want your partner to be someone you genuinely cared for.

“Obviously!”

“But that’s what I’m saying—I’d be okay with that person being Satou.”

“W-well, why’d you reject her, then?! You could’ve experienced this whole ‘unknown world’!” Karuizawa barked.

“Hey, don’t get mad.”

“I’m not mad!”

She most definitely was. I had a pretty good idea of why, too.

“If I chose to date Satou, would you still be standing here with me?” I asked.

“Huh?”

“That’s why I didn’t say yes to her.”

If I’d started going out with Satou, school would’ve been better than ever. I’d have had a partner to share my joys and sorrows with, and our relationship would’ve deepened with time.

But I knew that dating Satou would affect Karuizawa. Choosing Satou would’ve meant that it’d be harder to work with Karuizawa. Karuizawa would’ve become warier of me.

The rooftop incident had been a turning point for Karuizawa. Her trust in me grew exponentially, and I knew now that she’d never betray me. If Ryuuen, or Sakayanagi, or even someone like Nagumo approached her, she wouldn’t crumble. The only thing that’d break her would be my dating another girl.

She’d be scared that I didn’t need her anymore. She’d panic. She’d become useless to me, and I didn’t want that to happen.

Now, if Satou was a good replacement for Karuizawa, that’d be an entirely different story. But after today, I knew that Satou couldn’t fill Karuizawa’s shoes. She wasn’t as charismatic as Karuizawa, or as good at thinking on her feet. The double date made that abundantly clear. Karuizawa had adeptly played it off as a coincidence, while Satou struggled to keep up the lie, looking visibly upset at times.

The confrontation with Nagumo had clinched it. Karuizawa took action to defuse the situation, while Satou just stood by. That boldness was important. I could ignore the student-council issue, but I couldn’t ignore Sakayanagi or my father. If either of those two really went to war, it’d jeopardize my life here. Until I eliminated those threats, I needed Karuizawa.

On top of that, there was Chabashira-sensei and Chairman Sakayanagi. I didn’t sense trouble at the moment, but they were still potential targets. As such, Karuizawa Kei was indispensable. The chairman had power over us students, but I might be able to take him down if I used Karuizawa as a honeypot. She’d probably balk at sexual stuff, but she was still highly versatile.

“Maybe I’m just crazy, but I feel like you only view people as tools, don’t you, Kiyotaka?” she asked.

I’d used Karuizawa as a tool too many times to deny it. “I don’t view people like that because I choose to.”

“Hey, um, this might sound naive, but…have you ever actually fallen in love with anyone?”

“Right now, no.” I’d have liked to fall in love with somebody. But the opportunity hadn’t presented itself. Maybe I was incapable of love. Though I understood the biological differences between men and women, everything else was alien to me. My time in the White Room had seen to that. “In the end…”

“What?”

“Uh, nothing.”

I’d left the White Room physically, but some part of me would always be stuck there, where we lived in a state of constant self-defense. You shouldn’t need your guard up at all times in normal, everyday life. Going out with Satou would’ve let me experience normal joys, a normal relationship…but I couldn’t visualize what “normal” might look like for me yet. I’d worked to protect myself against any opponent who might arise; I didn’t know how to stop. No one else mattered, so long as I won.

Maybe I’d be this way until the day I died.

As I walked, Karuizawa followed. She didn’t walk at my side, but stayed close enough that we could converse. This way, no one would know we were together if they passed.

“Ugh. I put in all that effort for Satou-san’s sake, and it ended up being a waste of time,” she complained. Her tone was so playfully bratty that you’d never have thought she suffered a traumatic experience just a few days before.

“You’re doing pretty well, considering everything that happened to you,” I said.

“It’s been years since I was bullied like that,” she replied.

“You said it started in elementary school, right?”

“Uh, yeah. That’s right. Sorry, Kiyotaka. I lied a little bit about my past.”

“You lied?”

“I told Yousuke-kun that I was bullied for nine years. That was a lie. I thought that saying I’d been bullied since elementary would make him want to save me more than if it’d just been since junior high. I mean, he wouldn’t want me to be the victim of even more constant bullying,” she explained. She chuckled and stuck out her tongue playfully.

Ah, so she lied to manipulate Hirata. That just proved her resourcefulness and determination.

“Anyway, aren’t you going to apologize again? For putting Manabe and her friends on my case?” she asked.

“Now that you mention it, you’re right. The double date made me forget all about that.”

“Oh, and another thing. You said you weren’t going to contact me anymore, but then you did. You know, you’re sending me mixed signals.”

“I take back what I said about not contacting you anymore. If it’s okay, I’d like to apologize to you another time,” I told her.

“It doesn’t sound like your heart’s in it. I’m not going to get my hopes up, so just apologize now.”

“Now? How?”

“I’ve told you lots of different things. Now you tell me something, Kiyotaka.”

“About what?”

“This afternoon. Student Council President Nagumo. What’s the deal?” she asked. She wanted this information as part of an apology? “I don’t know what made you go all out during the sports festival relay, but I feel like more and more people are noticing you,” she continued.

“I’ll nip that in the bud. Fortunately, the class is more united now. I can take a step back.”

“Yeah, I guess. But Class B is way, way more tight-knit than us. We can’t beat them in that area,” Karuizawa replied. “Anyway, unity aside, you really just want to step back?”

“You got it,” I said.

“It seems a bit weird that you’re getting all this attention just because of the sports festival, right?” she asked. She’d noticed, correctly, that it was odd to attract Nagumo Miyabi’s attention just by being a fast runner.

Since this was Karuizawa, I could tell the truth and save myself trouble in the future. “Bear in mind that Horikita from our class and the former student council president are siblings.”

“I figured as much. That reminds me…during the relay race, you and the student council pres—no, I guess the former student council president—you two started together. Do you know each other, Kiyotaka?”

“Yeah. Through his little sister. That’s why he notices me.”

“So, he knows who you are beneath the mask?” asked Karuizawa.

“Beneath the mask, huh? No. He only knows what’s on the surface. No one else at this school knows me as deeply as you do,” I said.

“Hmm. That sucks.” Yet she didn’t look unhappy. Knowing someone’s secrets could be a heavy burden, but it also made you feel special. Karuizawa and I knew each other’s secret selves.

“Besides, the ‘former student council president’ title comes in handy. I do owe him a debt from the rooftop incident,” I explained.

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, I did meet him there.”

“He’s pressing me to return the favor.”

“Does that have something to do with why Student Council President Nagumo’s suddenly paying attention to you?”

“Horikita’s brother and Nagumo oppose each other. They’re rivals. The fact that her brother’s been talking to me probably doesn’t sit well with Nagumo. He seemed like he was fixing for a fight during the relay.”

“Wow. This is complicated. So, you’re in the middle of a fight between those two?”

We were getting to the heart of the matter now. “Horikita’s brother wants me to drag Nagumo off his throne and remove him as student council president.”

“He put you in charge of that, Kiyotaka?”

“Talk about a tough job, huh?”

“If anyone could stop that incredible student council president, it’s you.”

“You think that I can do it?”

“If you can’t, no one else can.”

It seemed Karuizawa’s opinion of me had improved significantly in the blink of an eye. No amount of humility on my part would fool her now.

“Speaking of all this, I’m supposed to meet a certain second-year student right now,” I said.

“A second year? Who?”

“Dunno. Their identity’s still a mystery. They haven’t confirmed who I am, either. I just know that this is the only second year who isn’t quite so fond of Nagumo.”

“Am I in the way, then?” asked Karuizawa.

“If you want to hang around, that’s fine by me. What’re you going to do?” I knew she’d follow, but wanted to confirm it.

“I’ll come along,” she replied.

I turned my phone off. Then the two of us headed to the school building to meet the mystery caller.