(Joint) Afterword

On a certain day of a certain month—during a season where the sun was still scorching hot.

“Hey Kamiya, listen to this seriously, please,” Tsubaki Himana began. His face was probably the most serious it had ever looked.

Kamiya could sense—that his question wasn’t going to be the usual, “Are Asian lolis or Western lolis better?” or something along those lines.

And so, Kamiya also became serious for once in his life, fixing up his collar as he turned to face Tsubaki. Upon which, Tsubaki opened his mouth solemnly.

“Wat do ya think I shud do with my life?”

—

“......Sorry, what did this thirty-year-old man just say to me?”

“For the past one and a half years! I’ve dieted and improved my fashion, yet I still can’t get past the first date, no matter how hard I try! And when I tell my friends about it, they’re like, ‘Oh, you’ve been trying to find a girl? I didn’t even realize, sorry.’ And the cousin that I doted on like a little sister is getting married, and my little brother found himself a stable job, and of course also has a girlfriend, ’cause why wouldn’t he! And to top it off, my mum’s been calling me every week recently, ya know?! Saying, ‘Aren’t there any nice girls that’chu know?’ in a serious tone and all! Forget marriage, I haven’t even gotten past the first step after trying for a year and a half! Take a hint, would you?!”

—Kamiya couldn’t care less about this. Frankly, he didn’t give a rat’s ass.

However, Tsubaki was looking off-the-wall unhinged, so he reflexively replied, “Y, Yeah... Umm, so? What are you expecting from me?”

“I’m obviously asking you for advice on what I should do with my life!”

“...I see. Ah, just give me a second. I’m trying to find a good therapist for you online—”

“Cooooome onnnnn!! I’m askin’ ya seriously for sum life advice here, god damn iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!”

“How should I know why not, just live life the way you want, you IiiiiiiiiiIIIiiiiidiot!!”

......

“—Now for the punchline! There’s an idiot here who wrote a 450-page book out of a theme that could be summed up with those two lines! Can you guess who it is?”

“Here’s a big hint! Y’see~! Part of his name is Tsubaki!”

“—So, why did things really turn out this way, in the end?” Editor S said as he gave them a death stare.

Kamiya and Himana both looked away and up to the side in response.

“...Well, you know, originally we planned to finish the story in three volumes, so we didn’t really think about how to continue the story.”

“Yeah, that’s what he told me, too. Honestly, when he brought up adding in ‘Omega’ out of nowhere, I was like, what the hell are you saying.”

“I know, right?! Well, I figured the third volume would be the last, so I even joked to Tsubaki that ‘Well, I guess we’ll write a fourth volume if the story gets picked up for an anime.’”

“Frankly, we never thought it could actually happen, so we just wrote whatever we felt like and kept thickening the plot at the end of the third volume—”

Slap! Editor S smacked both of their cheeks with the anime proposal files in his hand to bring them back in line.

“Yes, well, as I was saying, I actually did get an anime approved for the series, so... (grin)”

“Um, right, sorry,” the two replied in unison.

“And so, we were discussing why the manuscript was so late, right? —In fact, didn’t I shout, ‘Why was it this late?!’? (bone-chilling smile)”

“...Right, well, actually we were about to get there... You’ll see how everything ties together.”

—It started right around the beginning of summer.

“Hey, how about we do things the opposite way this time around from volume three? I’ll be the main writer, and you be the co-author.”

Kamiya gave Tsubaki’s suggestion some thought... Well, Clockwork Planet was originally supposed to be that way to begin with. It’s only because Tsubaki bit off more than he could chew in modifying my original plot and wrote himself into a hole that I had no choice but to make it a joint work—

“Well, I guess that’s fine, but... I feel like in the end I’m just going to be digging you out of the hole that you’ll write yourself into again.”

“Yeah, so to prevent that risk from happening, let’s have a formal meeting where we write out the plot together.”

“Huh? I mean, even for the first volume, I had handed you what might as well have been a first draft, but you basically rewrote the third and fourth chapters entirely—”

“Ah, well you know, you said that I could do what I want with it, so... Well, I’ll handle things better this time. I’ll try super hard! I want to turn my life around, after all!”

“...R, Right. Um, okay then~ How detailed of a plot summary do you want from me?”

“Hmmmmm... I guess I’ll be good if you could give me the character profiles, setting notes, the storyline—and a portion of the dialogue, I guess?”

“...Hmm. Alright, alright, stop there, I see that there is a discrepancy in our understanding here. Isn’t that far beyond the level of a plot summary?”

“Well I mean, only you can express how you envisioned the Initial-Y Series and the world of the story, so...”

“Just use your best judgment, man, I need a break right now.”

“Oh, that’s impossible. I don’t think I can ever hope to mimic your hopelessly cringey plot ideas that reek of a teenage wannabe author.”

“Well, seeing as you’re clever enough to insult and praise someone at the same time, I think you’ll be fine on your own...”

—...

“And that ends the summary of what happened. As you can see, it’s Tsubaki’s fault that the manuscript was late!”

“Hooh, I see. Well then, Tsubaki-san—what say you?” Editor S asked in a dispassionate voice.

Tsubaki replied in a trembling voice, “......Because I tossed the latter half of his plot out and did my own thing, what was supposed to be around a 250-page plot arc somehow turned into one that’s over 450 pages...”

“—I understand. So in short, business as usual, huh.”

“B, But! This time around I did whatever I felt like, I mean, I got fired up, er, no, I mean—I’m not sure how to say it, but like, I really went all out doing my own thing, but in a good way. I ultimately managed to keep the epilogue that Kamiya wrote, so I’m improving, right?!”

“Yeah, I guess. If you overlook the fact that you blazed right past the original deadline by a wide margin, yeah I guess.”

“Gahhh, I’m sorry!”

“...Well then, I guess I can sympathize if I give you not an inch but two hundred nautical miles. So then, Tsubaki-san. While the original plot may have been written by Kamiya-san, you wrote out this volume almost all by yourself—now that you’re done with it, have you found what you should do with your life?”

“Well— Yes, of course! I’ve decided to live as I wish!” Tsubaki replied, his face beaming brighter than the summer sun that was long gone by now. “For now, please teach me how to get a girlfriend. Actually, if you know a nice girl, just introduce her to me. To be more specific, I’d like someone who’s good at cooking, smart, usually ditzy, yet capable of being considerate, and of course, a total nympho. Yes pweeze! Now that’s the kind of cutey I’d be into!”

—This guy... It’s like he hasn’t grown up at all!

Hearing Tsubaki rattle off a long list of desired traits that not even most adult game heroines can satisfy, Kamiya shuddered—on the other hand, Editor S thought about it carefully, then said with a sunny smile, “...Hmm. Okay, sure. There’s someone I have in mind. I’ll introduce you to that person—once volume five is finished.”

“Seriously?! You know someone like that?! Such an angel is a rare find even in eroge, you know?!”

“Oh, so he is self-aware about it...”

“Awwwwwwwww hell yeah, bring it on! I’ll write the next volume up in no time! Oy Kamiya, let’s head back and start working—!”

As he watched Tsubaki dash towards the door in a rush to start working on the next volume, Kamiya thought.

—“I’d like someone who’s good at cooking, smart, usually ditzy, yet capable of being considerate, and of course, a total nympho. Yes pweeze! Now that’s the kind of cutey I’d be into!”—

There can’t be many women out there who can actually fulfill that fantasy.

If there is someone that can fulfill such a male fantasy in reality, that person would probably have to be a man himself. That’s exactly why those who write such characters in eroge and light novels are almost always male— Oh.

Upon reaching the door, Tsubaki turned around. Seeing Kamiya’s expression, he gloated, “Whyyyy the long face, Kamiya! Aha~h, could it be that you’re jealous of my future girlfriend?!”

Editor S didn’t say a single word about the person he has in mind being a girl, did he...

...Well, I guess it’s fine.

As a cold, dry wind blew past, Editor S chuckled to himself and muttered, “...Well, by the time he’s done with volume five, he’ll probably have realized anyway. That if he just wants to live freely... he doesn’t really need a girlfriend. Fufu...”

“Yikes...”

Kamiya visibly recoiled.

—This guy’s the type that’ll do anything as long as it gets the manuscript done.

Editor S then turned towards Kamiya and said, “Ah, I’ll be counting on you too, of course, Kamiya-san. It wasn’t easy getting the anime approved, you know—so if you dare tell me something like how you’re not going to write another volume now... Fufu, I, fufu, will take this uncommonly sharp boot of mine and jab it right up your—”

—

“M, Meow~...”