Final Chapter: Combatants Will Be Dispatched!

Combatants Will Be Dispatched! — LNCrawler · All chapters

FINAL CHAPTER

Combatants Will Be Dispatched!

The city of Grace spreads out in front of the royal castle.

The lord general calls out to the knights assembled in a defensive formation in front of the main gate—

“Okay, everyone! I’m sure you’ve all heard the news by now. The Chosen One is missing after his battle with Faustless of the Wind! I know how many of you feel! The disappointment! The despair! But I stand here to remind you, the Chosen One is missing but not lost! So long as this kingdom remains, so long as we stand and protect our homes and families, we will be the light that guides humanity’s final hope, the Chosen One, back to us! Now is the time for us to stand! Show the demons that they have more to fear from humanity than just the Chosen One!”

The general’s speech stirs the morale of the defenders, drawing a defiant cheer from the assembled knights and soldiers.

Tillis watches over the proceedings from her balcony with a somber expression.

“…Sir Six. How should we expect the enemy to proceed…?” Tillis asks.

As for me……

“I’m serious! I saw the unicorn use its horn to hike up the girl’s skirt! The knight in charge of caring for them was being harassed! Unicorns are a bunch of good-for-nothings! I bet they’re just pervy old men in costumes!”

“All right, all right,” Alice snaps. “I’ll listen to that story later. I’m in the process of writing a letter to explain our situation and hopefully get some support. Stay out of my way.”

I’ve been trying to explain the shocking truth I witnessed in the stables.

“U-um…Sir Six?”

“I bet those cold-blooded Supreme Leaders won’t make any exceptions. C’mon, listen to me. This is a pretty important issue. If there are unicorns here, they’ve clearly got horses, too. So why not just use horses?! There’s actually no need to bother with these pervy unicorns at all!”

“Why are you telling me this? I can’t do anything about it. I’ve done a survey of the local fauna, and there’s all sorts of odd creatures that make no evolutionary sense. Then there’s the fact that legendary and mythical creatures actually exist here. We’ll be here a while if we start listing off every little thing that’s wrong with this world. Then there’s the whole issue of all these ridiculous phenomena like magic and curses……”

You know, from my point of view, an android like you strikes me as plenty ridiculous, too…

“……Am I correct in assuming you have an interest in magic? I can demonstrate some simple magic if you’d like.”

“Really? Lemme see!”

“Oh? I’d like to see as well.”

Feeling excluded from our conversation, Tillis offers to demonstrate her magic.

In front of the gate, the kingdom’s knights stand and patiently await the Demon Lord’s Army.

“All right, is everyone ready? Time to take over this kingdom once and for all! The Chosen One is gone! There’s no one left to…”

As she fires up her band of demons, Heine hesitates mid-sentence. A face appears in her mind, the face of the only man who still poses a threat. The pillar of the Elite Four erases the image from her mind with a quick shake of her head.

“There’s no one left to stop us! Let’s raise some hell! Go teach those humans the true meaning of fear!”

In response to her cry, the army of demons, now swelling to over twice the numbers of the kingdom’s defenders, stomp their feet in unison, sending tremors through the ground.

“Hey, Heine, with this many demons, do you really need my prized golems? The Chosen One’s gone. Hell, I bet you can take care of a puny human kingdom like that on your own……even with your low-powered magic conduit.”

The one mocking Heine is the other pillar of the Elite Four leading the army, Gadalkand of the Earth.

With the Chosen One gone, the army of demons is driven by the belief that there’s nothing left to fear from the humans.

The rank and file are convinced that even in her weakened state, Heine will lead the demonic horde to victory, trampling right over the demoralized army of the kingdom.

“Don’t get cocky, Gadalkand. I told you, they’ve still got the bastard who made a fool out of me. Honestly, I’d prefer to fight the Chosen One over him. The Chosen One’s strong, sure, but that bastard’s unpredictable. So there’s no harm in being a little overprepared. He did struggle against a single golem, so the ten we’re taking along should be more than enough to deal with him.”

“…Ah, the bastard who destroyed my golem. Heine, leave that one to me. I’ll break him into tiny pieces, just like he did to my golem.”

Heine sighs at Gadalkand’s words. To think I have to rely on a hot-blooded moron like him.

……At that moment, disaster strikes.

With a thunderous blast, the golem leading the column explodes in a shower of fragments.

““Wha—?!””

Heine and Gadalkand stare, dumbfounded by the sudden event.

“Wha…wha…what the hell just happened?! Heine, is it him?! The bastard who killed my golem?! Impossible! We’re still in Demon Army territory!”

Gadalkand, ordinarily overflowing with confidence and possessing a stony calm, hurriedly scans his surroundings, a faint panic creeping into his demeanor.

Seeing Gadalkand’s panic actually helps Heine regain her composure.

“Keep moving! You’ll make yourself a target! Magic powerful enough to blast a golem apart can’t be launched from a distance! Damage and range for spells are inversely related! If you want damage, you lose distance, and if you want distance, you give up damage! You need to be up close to do that much damage! The enemy can’t be far! Find them!”

Heine’s calm, rapid directions calm the chaos rippling through the demonic ranks.

The demons begin to disperse, spreading out to seek out the enemy, however……

Both Heine and Gadalkand are thrown into confusion as a string of blasts goes off throughout the demon ranks.

“Whoa, whoa, the hell is going on here? Since when is it this easy to fling high-grade magic? Our demons are getting blown up left and right! Just how many of them are there?!”

“Cerberuses! Bring several of the Cerberuses! Sniff the bastards out!”

As Gadalkand shouts in disbelief, Heine issues further orders.

“…Lady Heine! We’re sending the Cerberuses out to sweep for the enemy, but shortly after they start sniffing around, they refuse to move!”

“Lord Gadalkand! A golem! We’ve lost another golem!”

“What the hell?! Dammit! Be on alert, you bastards! Keep your eyes peeled and proceed with caution! The enemy is hitting us from somewhere. Stay alert! Withdraw the golems! They’re nothing but walking targets right now!”

As Gadalkand barks out orders, Heine focuses to track the flow of magic, seeking the unseen enemy.

……There’s a strong magic signature nearby.

It’s powerful, but there’s something familiar about it……

“……This feeling… It’s my sorcerer stone!”

Which must mean he’s here.

All the pieces suddenly click into place for Heine. Ignoring the demons, she starts running toward her sorcerer stone.

If she can find the stone, she’ll find him as well.

“…What the…?”

Heine arrives at her destination to find no one; just her sorcerer stone sitting on the ground.

She glances around, senses primed to detect anyone who might be lurking nearby, but she finds nothing.

Inching closer to the stone, Heine surveys her surroundings once more. Again, she finds no one nearby.

“…You’re there, aren’t you, Six? What is the meaning of this?”

More explosions ring out along with the screams of demons caught up in them. She can hear those sounds off in the distance, but there are no voices coming from her vicinity.

The sorcerer stone sits right in front of her.

No matter how hard she tries, Heine can’t feel a human presence nearby.

Could this have been placed here by Six as an apology?

With the Chosen One gone, does he actually want to defect to the Demon Army?

Whatever the truth of the matter, it’ll remain a mystery until she actually meets him.

“…Oh…my…my precious sorcerer stone…!”

Heine ecstatically reaches out to recover the conduit she had spent many long years pouring magic into……

“Very well, here we go! With my power, I will only be able to do it once, so please watch carefully! In the name of the Goddess of Water, Aquans, I summon you!”

“……Hmm?”

“What is it, Six?”

I tilt my head in response to the sudden announcement, and Alice turns to face me.

“Hmm? Oh, I just acquired some Evil Points out of nowhere. Remember those brats calling me the Fly? I tossed some porn into their houses where their parents could find it. Guess they just got caught.”

“…You did what? Against children…?”

At that moment, I hear the splash of water.

“Did you see? That was the spell used to summon the spirits of water…!”

I turn to the source of the sound and see Tillis standing there in front of a puddle, breathing raggedly but looking quite pleased with herself.

“Sorry, I missed it.”

“I’m afraid I missed it as well. Do you mind doing it again?”

“Oh…”

For some reason, Tillis stands there looking crestfallen.

Gazing down at the city from the balcony, there’s no sign of the enemy. It’s long past the expected arrival time of the Demon Lord’s Army, and it’s closing in on 1500 hours.

“They’re a little late, aren’t they? Maybe they won’t show up today.”

“No, they’re probably just held up by the minefield.”

Oh yeah, I forgot about those.

Still, I’ve got no complaints. Really, the later they are, the better. My promise is to stay here until 2000 hours. Once that time passes, I’ve got no intention of letting anyone complain about my departure.

…The waiting continues, and even the tension among the knights stationed in front of the gates starts to slacken.

Then a vague shadow appears in the distance. The Demon Lord’s Army arrives at last, bloodshot eyes boiling with rage.

“Sir Six! Look! The captain of the sixth company is bravely charging alone into the enemy!”

Neither force is gaining or losing much ground.

The demons push forward, trying to make the most of their numerical advantage. For their part, the outnumbered knights maintain their disciplined ranks, working together to take down demons as they approach one by one.

In spite of all the doom and gloom before the battle, they’re more than holding their own against the larger force.

“Huh. At this rate, we might not even have to run. Uh, just so we’re clear, Tillis, you won’t turn around and execute us as spies if we get through this, right?”

“Whyever would we do such a dishonorable thing? True, we did put you in a single room to save on costs, but we wouldn’t stoop to such depths.”

………

“Wait, you put Alice and me into the same room to save money?!”

“Sir Six, you’ll be departing this castle tomorrow. No need to dwell on the past.”

“‘No need to dwell on the past,’ my ass… You might look like an angel, but you’re a damned cheapskate!”

As Tillis and I argue, Alice looks to the battlefield and coolly makes an observation.

“…The front line’s breaking.”

“Oh! Oh, heaven help us……”

Tillis shoves me aside and leans forward to get a better view of the battle.

The soldiers are fighting with grim determination in their eyes. Tillis stands there offering prayers to the gods in their name. In the middle of all that, Alice and I are bored out of our minds…

“Hey, Alice, how about some tic-tac-toe?”

“And what is that, exactly?”

Alice and I spread out a sheet of paper atop the rug. Tillis glances over at us, biting her lip as if she has something to say.

“I thought you were supposed to know everything. Tic-tac-toe is a game where you take turns filling X’s and O’s into a grid. First one to line up three in a row wins. You up for it? We can bet a gold coin per round.”

“You serious? You think you can beat me with a lowly human brain?” Alice says in a slightly exasperated tone.

“Let’s even up the rules, then. How about you give me an extra move every five turns?”

“Not a chance.”

…Time passes steadily.

“Oh no…! Even the fourth company has broken!”

“There. Looks like I win.”

Alice marks in a large X on the sheet in front of us.

“Hey now, you know that tic-tac-toe is best of nine, right? You’ve only got one win.”

“Cut the crap.”

The battle rages on in spite of the dying light, and fire glow begins dotting the landscape here and there.

Demons have the advantage in night combat. I guess they’re lighting bonfires to minimize the enemy’s advantage?

“Sir Six, I’m afraid it is time to make preparations to leave. The enemy is approaching the main gate.”

Tillis speaks with a solemn look in her eyes. I glance up from the game.

“I guess it’s about time… All right, we’ll get ready.”

“Hey, Six, it’s your turn. I’m playing with this dumb handicap, so the least you can do is hurry the hell up.”

Tillis looks at me, half standing in a crouch, apparently at a loss and holding back tears.

“You really are something… You won’t even turn to watch them fight.”

Her tone is exasperated now. I look up at her and dust off my hands.

“It’s because I believe in them. Snow, Rose, and Grimm. They still haven’t seen any action. And I know those three are strong. After all…”

I grin.

“They’re my subordinates,” I say confidently.

“Hey, Six. You’ve got nowhere else to go. Fork over the gold already.”

“Rose! Grimm! The enemy’s isn’t here yet, but stay alert! We’re counting on you to take out their heavy hitters!”

Screams and the sounds of battle ring out from all around us.

“I’m ready. Leave them to me!”

“I’m sleepy…b-but I must remain vigilant…! Once this is done, I bet Snow will buy me tons of drinks… Stay awake…stay awake… The s-sun’s almost fully down… I just need to keep my eyes open a little longer…”

I’m moved by Rose’s confident response, even as Grimm’s muttering gets a little unsettling. I make a note to wine and dine them both once this is over.

A soldier arrives at our post where the Royal Guards, under my command, stand as the last line of defense in front of the city’s main gate.

“Lady Snow! Where is Lady Snow?”

The soldier is pale, raising his voice in near panic before he finally locates me and dashes in my direction.

“Lady Snow! Golems! The enemy…they had seven stone golems in reserve! They waited for the fighting to go on long enough for the knight companies to be exhausted… Then they sent in the golems. They’ve forced their way through our lines, and they’re heading straight this way.”

Seven golems?!

“Grimm! Will your curses work on them?!”

I hear the sound of wheels clattering against the cobblestones, and Grimm appears next to me. She gazes intently at the golems steadily making their way toward us.

“We’re nearing Lord Zenarith’s time. I might not be able to destroy them, but I can certainly stop them in their tracks! Look at these! I had the city guard confiscate these paired rings from a bunch of couples, using the defense of the city as an excuse!”

Normally, Grimm is super-unreliable, but I’m seeing a whole new side of her today. I’ll pretend I didn’t hear anything about the confiscations.

“Good. Everyone, form a defensive wall around Grimm. Those of you with hammers and maces, be ready to clobber the immobilized golems!”

Just as I give the order to my subordinates…

“Not happening! You guys stay out of this!!”

The ground rumbles as the seven stone golems stomp toward the gate. Standing upon a golem’s shoulder is a pillar of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four, Heine of the Flames.

“Finally, some familiar faces. But I’m afraid I’ve got no time for you small fries. Bring out Six. I’m here for him.”

Heine’s body is covered in wounds, so many that I feel a brief pang of sympathy. The pang is short-lived when I see her expression. There’s no trace of pain there. Just rage. Pure, burning rage.

“Six? He’s not here. I, Snow, will be your opponent today. Draw!!” I cry.

At my challenge, Heine turns her gaze to me, her eyes flaring with anger.

“You?! You’re nothing! You’re not even worth the effort of killing. But that bastard?! There’s no way I can let him live after the humiliation he’s caused me! I’ll kill him if it’s the last thing I do! Using my precious sorcerer stone as bait… I bet he’s sooo proud of himself for that one, huh?”

I don’t have a clue what she’s talking about… I guess that idiot found yet another way to incur her wrath.

I take a touch of satisfaction in the knowledge.

“It doesn’t matter if I’m nothing! I can’t…I won’t let you get to Six. Her Highness has tasked him with something important. Grimm! Do it!”

“O Great Lord Zenarith, I beseech thee! Deliver disaster unto this stone doll! May its soles be sewn to the ground!”

Grimm unleashes her curse before I finish giving the order.

The paired rings in Grimm’s hand are offered to the dark god as a sacrifice and vanish in a flash of light.

The golem’s feet freeze in place. Unable to stop its forward momentum, the golem collapses with an earthshaking thud. Seeing their chance, the soldiers armed with blunt weapons close in and clobber the golem, reducing it to rubble.

“O Great Lord Zenarith, I beseech thee! Deliver disaster unto this stone—”

“You really thought I’d let you do that twice?! I may have lost my primary sorcerer stone, but I’ve got a spare! And it’ll be more than enough to take you out!”

Heine’s arm erupts in flame as she flings a fireball toward Grimm, but a small shadow jumps in to protect the archbishop.

“O Great Lord Zenarith, I beseech thee! Deliver disaster unto this woman! Forever take away her ability to wield flame magic!”

Sheltered from the flames by Rose, Grimm places a large parcel on her lap and points her finger at Heine. The parcel, filled with paired rings, is bathed in light as Zenarith claims them for a sacrifice. Hearing Grimm’s words, Heine’s eyes go wide, throwing her arms up in a reflexive gesture of defense.

“…It f-failed…? Holy shit, that scared the hell out of me!”

Producing a flame from the tip of her finger, Heine howls in relief.

“You! Whores like you who draw the eyes of men just by existing! I hate you most! If I had a little more courage, I’d risk the backlash and curse those udders of yours to fall right off!”

“Wh-what the hell are you talking about?! Don’t call me a whore!”

Still, the threat of the previous curse appears to have put Heine on her guard as she climbs down from the golem and backs away.

Grimm doesn’t suffer anything even if her ability to use flame magic is lost from a curse backlash. With the large number of sacrificial objects on hand, Grimm will probably be able to take away Heine’s flame magic with enough attempts.

This realization drains the color from Heine’s face, and she puts another golem between herself and Grimm.

“The hell are you doing, Heine? Stop playing around with these maggots! Just kill that woman already!” Gadalkand appears from the flank, forcing his way into the center of the fight. “…Huh? Hey, you… You look a lot like a lady I killed not too long ago… Eh, whatever. You’re dead either way.”

He lifts his metal club, stifling a yawn as he prepares to take a swing at Grimm. The sickening crunch and the image of Grimm’s headless body flopping to the ground replay in my mind.

“T-take that!”

Rose lets out a rather weak battle cry, unleashing a flying kick at Gadalkand’s head.

“…Hmm? Did you just do something?”

Gadalkand takes the blow without so much as flinching, reaching up and theatrically scratching the spot Rose kicked as if it were a bugbite. Then he pounces at Rose with a speed that ought to be impossible for a creature his size, landing an open-handed blow on Rose’s shoulder.

Rose is tossed like a rag doll by the impact, and Gadalkand seems to forget about her, turning his attention to the only thing standing between him and Grimm. Me.

“…Move.”

A single word. An order.

This demon…this pillar of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four. He doesn’t even regard me as the enemy.

As I grit my teeth in frustration, I hear a whoosh as a jet of flame cuts through the air, hitting Gadalkand and engulfing him in flames.

“Guh! You little brat! I forgot you could do that!! You miserable runt! You know you can’t beat me. Even if you have mixed blood, your demon blood’s gotta be screaming at you to run. It’s not like these vermin are treating you well, are they? You can join us once this is over. Now get out of my way!”

Buffeting his wings to blow away the flames lapping at his stony skin, Gadalkand turns to look behind him.

Rose stands there with blood trickling from her temple, hands balled into fists while one arm wipes the soot off her chin with a sleeve.

“Heh-heh-heh… I know I can’t beat you, and yeah, I have mixed blood…but I’m also a Combat Agent trainee, so I’m afraid I have to keep fighting, even if I’m scared. Also…”

I notice a faint tremble in her voice.

“Grandpa told me on his deathbed that if I ever made friends, I should stick with them, no matter what…!”

With that, Rose assumes a fighting stance against Gadalkand.

“Heh! Fine. Then hurry up and die!”

He brings down his club toward Rose, shattering the stones below and sending fragments flying in every direction.

Instead of giving herself breathing room, Rose dashes toward the large demon, punching at Gadalkand’s gut with all her might.

The sound of a hard object being hammered rings through the area, and Gadalkand’s face twists into a grimace.

Her flame breath requires her to hold a deep breath for a few seconds, making it impractical for use while dodging hits at close range.

Rose dodges Gadalkand’s powerful swings, exploiting each opportunity to land a blow on him in return. The soldiers and knights stare at the battle between superhuman fighters from a distance, unable to provide any meaningful support.

The same applies to me.

A girl who is younger than me, smaller than me, and suffered much worse treatment than I’ve ever endured. She’s matching Gadalkand, blow for blow, in defense of Grimm.

If I joined the fight against Gadalkand, I would only be in her way. With my sword, I wouldn’t be able to so much as scratch him.

So what’s left for me to do…?

What good is the reputation that comes from being the youngest to achieve knighthood, an elite member of the Royal Guard, and all the other accolades if I still lack strength?

The other pillar of the Elite Four, Heine, cautiously avoids getting in Grimm’s line of sight and continues scanning the surroundings as if still expecting to find Six here on the field.

The steady stream of arrows fired at her is swallowed by the flames burning around us.

“O Great Lord Zenarith, I beseech thee! Deliver disaster unto that woman!”

Grimm points her finger at Heine, prompting the demon to hurriedly seek cover behind a golem.

“Don’t you point at me, you crazy dark-god cultist! Golem! Shield me!”

“D-don’t call Lord Zenarith a dark god! Dammit, I’ll put a curse on you that makes you irresistible to orcs!”

…It’s time to make up my mind.

Even if I’m consumed by flame, I should be able to get at least one strike in.

How ironic that I, the one most concerned with money and glory, would find myself facing the honorable death every knight longs for.

The hand gripping my sword hilt trembles, but I convince myself the shaking is from excitement, not fear.

At that moment, a voice intrudes into my thoughts.

“I’m not entirely sure what it is that you’re planning to do, but I wouldn’t recommend it. Just a warning from the Archbishop of Undeath. Dying is truly awful.”

Just as I make my peace with my decision, Grimm pauses in her efforts to deter Heine. She sounds more sober and serious than I’d imagined her capable of being.

Rose shouts over her shoulder, still with her back to me as trades blows with Gadalkand.

“I can’t hold him forever! Miss Snow, please go to Her Majesty and tell her to evacuate to safety!”

At the desperation in her voice, I remember what I should be doing.

Knights of the Royal Guard are here to keep the royals away from harm.

Going to Princess Tillis and finding a way for her to escape is consistent with our duties. Still, there’s no reason that I should be the one to do it. After all, I’m the one in charge right now. Which means…

“We’ll be fine. Off you go to the castle! Even if the princess needs to defect to another country, it’s better that she have more than just the commander go with her. Snow, you need to go and make sure he doesn’t try anything funny with the princess.”

Which means these two are telling me to run.

How pathetic. How powerless.

I, who once joined in with the other soldiers to mock these two as rejects, am now being defended by them. In spite of everything, they’re trying to find a way to let me escape.

……There’s still hope.

He’s still here. If anyone can find a way out of this mess, it’s him.

But who am I to beg for his help? Me, the very person who drove him out of the ranks.

I recall something he said earlier.

“I hear the Demon Lord’s Army is invading soon! If you want my ultrapowerful assistance, then apologize for your shitty attitude and beg for it!”

If it means I can save these two, I’ll gladly apologize. I’ll happily beg and stroke his insufferable ego. But will he actually help us under these circumstances?

As I stand there, trying to sort out my jumble of thoughts and emotions, Rose is knocked back toward me, landing on all fours. Her tail straightens, and she snarls at Gadalkand.

Her back, turned to shield me from the enemy, a back belonging to a little girl desperately forcing down her anxiety so that she can keep fighting, is the last straw. I know what I need to do and turn on my heel.

“Drown in a sea of hellfire…!”

I hear her voice from behind me.

“Sleep for all eternity! Crimson Breath!”

I start running toward the castle.

“N-no, I’m not moving from this spot! If my countrymen die, I’m dying with them!”

We’re still in Tillis’s chambers at the top of the castle.

“Stop struggling and come on! Look, let me explain why I decided to stay as long as I have! You said you wanted me to tell the other countries that this kingdom was here and to get them to band together to fight the Demon Lord’s Army. Screw that! Do it yourself! Even if the kingdom is destroyed, if a member of the royal family survives, you’ve won! If you need help leaving descendants behind, I can help you out with that once we’re safely out of here!”

“Your last point is ridiculous! I’m your employer! I order you to let go of me! S-someone! Someone help!” Tillis yells as I hoist her over my shoulder like a piece of luggage. So far, no one from below is coming up to stop us.

Of course, that’s because the castle’s master, the king, asked me to help Tillis escape.

Still, this wasn’t how I pictured things going. I didn’t expect them to have so much trouble fighting the demons.

I probably tempted fate by going on that little spiel about how they were my subordinates.

There’s no way to win here. It’s time to go.

“All right, let’s get out of here, Alice!”

“Roger that!”

“Wait, please! Please set me down, Sir Six! Are you really ready to accept what’s about to happen? Once the castle falls, everyone you know in this kingdom is going to die!”

Tillis attempts to convince me, still struggling on my shoulder.

“Now, now, there’s a perfect sentiment for times like these. Everything’s fine… They’ll live on…in our hearts.”

“Well said, Six, now let’s go! We don’t have much time!”

“What is wrong with you twooo?!”

I carry the sobbing Tillis in one arm, heading to the hallway to make our escape. But just as we reach the staircase to make our way down…

“Combat Agent Six!!”

The voice belongs to Snow, dashing up the stairs. Her hair’s a mess, and she’s having trouble keeping her breathing under control.

After shouting my name, Snow stands in front of the staircase, trying to catch her breath.

“Can you make this quick?” I ask her. “We’re kiiind of in a hurry.”

“Snow! Stop this man! Order him to set me down!” Tillis shouts.

Snow, her breathing ragged, looks at the floor and says, “S-Six, right now seven golems, Heine of the Flames, and Gadalkand of the Earth are attacking the main gate.”

“Yep, already aware of that. Saw the whole thing from the balcony. Now get out of the way, we’re really pressed for time. If we’re going to get out of here, we need to go with everyone else in the city. The sheer number of people raises our chances of escape!”

“It’s almost kind of impressive how casually you say that.” In contrast to my building panic, Snow appears to have calmed a bit, continuing in a detached tone. “I can’t do anything about them. Rose and Grimm are buying time, but they probably won’t last much longer.”

After hearing that, my legs pretty much turn into cement.

“To the enemy, I’m nothing. Less than nothing. They won’t even consider me an enemy.”

A slight tremble enters Snow’s voice.

“…I’ve been swinging a sword since I was a child. My birth, my upbringing, my sex… I’ve worked hard to forge an identity beyond those labels. I’ve practiced every waking moment of my life so that I could beat anyone who came my way.”

I listen to Snow’s remarks without comment. She’s being so sincere that I couldn’t toss out a witty remark if I even had one.

“If it’s an apology you want, I’ll apologize a thousand times over. You can do whatever you want to me. So please…”

Snow raises her head and looks up at me before bowing deeply.

“I beg you! Lend me your strength! I’ll do anything within my power! If it’s money you want, I’ll give you all that I have! You know how greedy I am! I have a lot of it piled up, especially if you add in my sword collection!”

“Six, ignore her! It’s time to go. We need to use your remaining points to buy a ton of stun grenades and a motorcycle to escape on. We can’t waste resources helping them!”

I’m almost convinced by Snow’s plea when Alice’s words snap me back to reality.

“What am I supposed to do with money under these circumstances? And do you really understand what you’re saying when you say you’ll do anything? Leave me alone; I’m just a commoner! You made sure I wound up this way! It took you way too long to come crying to me! Just how stubborn are you?!”

“Look at her! Snow’s debased herself for you, and you react this way?! I’ve truly lost any shred of respect I had for you!” Tillis shouts from my shoulder and starts struggling again.

I ignore her and step forward, passing Snow as I make my way toward the stairs.

Snow grabs my arm.

“Not like this… I don’t want us all to go down without a real fight…”

The disappointment, the anger—I know how all this feels.

I can’t remember the number of times I lost to Heroes and their crazy-strong abilities.

I’m not a mutant with awesome special abilities. My cybernetic enhancements are half-assed and outdated.

I wanted to scream at her, tell her that she’s not the only one dealing with how unfair the world is. That she needed to accept it. Then I look at her face.

In all the time that I’ve known Snow, she’s never, ever shown a shred of weakness to me.

Yet now, as she gazes up at me, her eyes are filled with tears.

“………Please……Commander.”

She calls me “Commander” for the first time.

Her voice is trembling like a child fearing a scolding from her parents. Snow clings to my arm, her voice ragged with desperation.

“………Commander……please save Rose and Grimm…!”

“You really are a half-assed villain, you know that? Buckling to your conscience at the very end. No wonder you’re still a lackey despite being with Kisaragi from the beginning.”

“Oh, shut up! I know all that! I’m weak willed and a pushover and whatever the hell else you have to call me. Just have them send the goddamn anti-materiel rifle already!”

Back to Tillis’s chambers and on to the balcony. As night begins to fall, I start kicking at the balcony’s railing.

“C-Commander! Aren’t we going to the gate? What are you planning to do from here…?”

I vent a bit of my frustration at Snow, who’s been following me like a newly hatched duckling. “Use your head! We don’t have time to head back to the gate. So we’re attacking from here! …And how much longer are you gonna cling to my arm?! It’s not like I’m gonna run off as soon as you let go!”

“Oh…!”

Snow lets go of my arm and watches me continue destroying the balcony.

“Sir Six! I have no idea what you plan to do, but do as you please! You’re perhaps the most stunning man in the kingdom right now!”

For whatever reason, Tillis decides to cheer me on while I ravage her balcony. Just as my line of sight clears up, Alice yells in my direction.

“…Hey, what’s going on here? We’re short on points! I made sure to leave a little over two hundred points, but now we don’t have enough for the rifle. What the hell did you use your points for?!”

Oh, shit…

“Um, well……you know how there’s nothing to do here? Well, last night, I sort of……”

“You spent those points, didn’t you?! On what? Porn?! You wasted those points the night before an invasion?! YOU IDIOT!”

I’d really like a hole to crawl into right about now.

“I had no choice…! It was the middle of the night! And there’s no convenience stores or anything around here!”

“Wh-what is it? Is there a problem?” Snow asks.

Alice lets out a weirdly human-sounding sigh. “I was just thinking that this idiot’s nothing but comic relief even at the very end. I guess we’ve got no other option. Hey, Six.”

“Yeah?”

Alice points her finger to the stairs. “Go downstairs and punch that useless king in the face.”

“On it!”

“No, don’t!”

“Why?! What did Father ever do to you?! Snow! Stop them!”

The two of them scramble to get in my way.

“Let go, will you? I’m not doing this because I want to! It’s an emergency.”

Snow lets go. “…Do you just need to hit someone?” she asks, gazing intently at my face.

“Hmm? Well, it doesn’t have to be hitting. Just something they don’t like.”

“…Understood.”

Snow closes her eyes. “Hit me.”

“…………What?!”

What the hell is she saying?

“J-just hit me! ……I don’t quite get it, but you need to do this right now, right? Then hit me! Or…well…if it has to be something I don’t like…y-you could fondle my boobs or do anything else your heart desires!”

Snow’s face goes beet red at her statement, and everyone else just goes absolutely quiet.

“U-um, wait… Y-you can’t just suddenly offer……”

Alice interrupts my awkward babbling.

“Do it, Six, we’re running out of time. If you don’t want to hit her, just grope her or kiss her or whatever!”

“B-but wait… I can’t…”

Alice pushes me forward toward Snow.

Snow’s face remains flushed, and her eyes are tightly shut. I place my hands on her shoulders, and she reacts with a slight tremble.

Tillis swallows a breath, looking over at us intently and blushing. “…I-is he going to…?! Is he going to kiss her?!”

Tillis covers her face, as though her modesty and decorum won’t let her watch the rest of this spectacle, but it’s clear she’s still watching from between her fingers.

What the hell is going on? Here we are in the middle of a life-or-death struggle…and now this!

“Do it, Six! Aggressively! Kiss her and shove your tongue down her throat! Hurry up, you wimp! Do it!”

Alice is starting to get on my nerves. Well, so is my heart, with all that rapid beating. What should I be doing? Goddammit, why is Tillis looking over at us?! You’re a princess, aren’t you? You shouldn’t be watching this sort of thing, you perverted little brat! As for you, Snow, why are you just standing there? And why are we taking so long to do this? It’s not like we’re middle school students. It’s just a kiss! Are we sure I’m actually going to get points given the circumstances? I mean, this is starting to look awfully like we’re both consenting adults! Goddammit, gaaaaaah, what am I supposed to do; if I kiss her, I won’t get the points, and if I start groping her breasts, she’ll let out a little coo like “Mm…,” and goddaaaaaaaaammmit, what am I supposed to dooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?!

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!”

Something snaps inside my head, and in that moment, I reach forward and pull down…

…Snow’s panties.

Yes, in an instant, my hands disappear beneath Snow’s skirt, grab hold of her panties, and drag them down to her ankles.

Every person on that balcony, plus Alice, who technically isn’t human, freezes in place, staring at me, mouths agape.

I don’t think I’ll forget the look on their faces for as long as I live.

“Get off me, dammit! Obnoxious gnat! Hey, Heine! Peel this bug off me, will you? I can’t shake her off!”

Gadalkand lets out a frustrated roar. Rose is clinging to his arm with all four limbs and biting into his shoulder. The giant stone demon tries to shake her off, repeatedly slamming her into the ground.

“Oh, stop whining and hold on a minute! I’ll be done here in a second. Hey, dark-god cultist! Your curses require a sacrifice, right? I noticed those rings of yours are disappearing each time you cast a curse! Looks like you’re running on empty. You’re no match for us. Hurry up and bring Six to…”

Heine stretches her hand out toward me, as if preparing to cast a spell.

She’s interrupted mid-sentence when something annihilates a golem’s torso, blasting Heine off its shoulder and onto the ground.

Everyone in the area goes stiff, caught completely off guard by the sudden turn of events. A faint crack rings through the air and reaches us a heartbeat later.

“Wha…wha-wha-wha-wha……?”

Knocked onto her butt by the first blast, Heine stares in openmouthed shock when a second golem’s torso explodes in a rain of fragments.

“The hell is this?! Heine! What the hell is going on…?! And you, get off me!”

Gadalkand peels Rose off his arm while directing his question at Heine.

“I—I—I don’t…I don’t know…what just…what……”

Another golem is reduced to a shattered hulk, followed by the same sound a few seconds later.

It must be coming from afar.

The attacks are probably coming from so far away that the sound isn’t keeping up with the attack itself. Like thunder after a flash of lightning.

“Whatever it is, we can’t just stand here. You lot! Get in the air! Once you’re up there, fly as fast as you can!”

Gadalkand issues the orders, beating his wings and rising into the air himself. Heine, too, calls down her griffin circling above and hurriedly hops on its back.

Just as they lift into the air, another golem shatters, followed a few heartbeats later by the sound.

“Gadalkand! The castle! They’re hitting us from on top of the castle!”

“…What?! How the hell are they attacking us from that distance?!”

Gadalkand curses loudly as a fifth golem breaks into fragments. His tirade is cut short as he stares mutely at the golem’s destruction.

“…Gadalkand, your warriors can fly and can hold their own against anyone. Gather the strongest ones you’ve got! We’ll go assault the castle and take out the bastard attacking us from there!”

“…You boys, with me! We’ll hit the castle directly and take ’em out!”

Heine and Gadalkand circle once overhead, then fly off toward the castle.

The sixth golem is blasted into fragments, leaving one more.

“…There they go.”

“…Yes, indeed. I’m sure the commander can do something about them.”

I flash a reassuring smile at Rose.

“…Really? You really think the boss’ll take care of this instead of running away?”

“………P-probably?”

As the final golem is shot down, the soldiers around us let out a cheer.

“Wow… The boss did all this, right? This probably sounds weird coming from a Chimera, but I wonder what the heck he’s made of.”

“Yes, he really is a mysterious man… But more importantly…”

I look around at the large group of demons encircling us.

The golems and the two pillars of the Elite Four are gone, but we are still vastly outnumbered. The enemy slowly closes the distance between them and the soldiers standing guard.

In response, Rose lets out an intimidating snarl.

“Krrrrssshaaaaaaaw!”

The demons stop briefly in their tracks but then continue to close the gap…

“Ee-hee-hee-hee…”

I smile my most predatory smile, wheeling myself forward and bringing my chair to a stop in front of the assembled demons.

“Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! In this world, all living things eventually die…but I? I have overcome death a thousandfold. I am the Archbishop of the Great Lord Zenarith! Know my name, for it is Grimm Grimoire! Those among you who seek death, step forward! Allow me to demonstrate the true power of my dark blessings!”

At my sudden monologue, Rose’s eyes go wide in surprise.

“Wh-what’s going on?! And what’s with that monologue?!”

“I rarely have anything to do at night, so I’ve been practicing for a time like this.”

“Cheater! I—I…I wish I had something cool to say, instead of the silly things my dying grandpa made me promise I’d say…! Um, let’s see… Hear me! My name is Rose! …Um…uh…”

As Rose continues her stilted attempt at an improvised monologue, I turn back toward the demons, showing off the last few remaining sacrificial items with a flourish.

“Brace yourselves! You shall now taste the true power of the God of Undeath and Disaster!”

“What she said!”

“Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Power! Absolute power! The Demon Army is nothing next to my power!”

With each crack of my rifle, the golems far below shatter.

Well, okay, it’s actually too dark to see if my shots hit anything.

“Focus. Stop laughing and relax. You’re making it hard to aim,” Alice chides me. I exhale and relax while she adjusts the rifle barrel to compensate. “Good. Fire.”

Another shot rings out. Another golem goes down.

Ordinarily, I wouldn’t be able to hit anything that far away in this sort of darkness.

Which is why I’m leaving the aiming to Alice. As a high-performance android, she’s equipped with night vision. So I can just focus on pulling the trigger.

“…I-incredible… Um, may I ask why you didn’t just use this from the start? I imagine this would have made the fights up to this point much easier.” Tillis tilts her head in curiosity.

“I’m the type of guy who doesn’t really like spending reward tokens on OP weapons and buff accessories in video games.”

“That’s why you can’t take advantage of opportunities and end up stuck as an errand boy for the Supreme Leaders. All right, fire.”

Another bang. The powerful recoil from the anti-materiel rifle ripples through my body.

“…Every shot makes the spot where you punched me hurt even more,” I grumble.

“Shut up. Drop dead.” Snow clutches her knees to her chest, sulking a short distance away.

“……You’re the one who said I could do whatever I wanted.”

“Shut up. Drop dead.”

“………All right, fire.”

Another bang rings out, shattering the last golem.

“All right, that should even up the odds a little.”

“Shut up! Kill yourself!”

“There’s still the two members of the Elite Four to take care of, but I don’t see the— Wait, are they the ones flying around over there? It’d be one thing if I could aim and fire, but we can’t hit them if I’m stuck aiming for you.”

“But we can’t have you firing this rifle. The recoil would rattle you to pieces.”

“Shut up. Drop dead.”

Alice suddenly pipes up as she watches the Elite Four members from the balcony.

“…Hey …Hey! They’re coming straight for us! Everyone get inside, now!”

Heine, mounted atop her griffin, and Gadalkand with his band of demons are gliding through the air toward us.

I shoulder the rifle, then go over to Snow, still sulking in the corner. I grab her by the hand and pull her into the room.

“Oh, come on, get over it already! All I did was pull down your panties! It’s not like I got a good look afterward!”

“Shut up. Drop dead.”

With the great crash of shattering glass, the griffin and the demons charge into the chamber!

“There you are, Six! You’re dead! There’s never been anyone dumb enough to mess with me as many times as you have! You were behind all those explosions earlier, weren’t you?! And then you went and blew up my precious sorcerer stone!” Heine snarls in rage as the ten or so demons who charged into the room let out a bloodcurdling scream.

“Ohhh, I thought you looked familiar. You’re the pathetic bastard who was cradling that dead lady and bawling! Did you bury the body properly? Or did you keep it around as a plaything? Either way, it looks like you’re the bastard who took out my golems, huh? I’m about to make you wish you were dead. If you’d like, I’ll even let you slit your throat with your own knife. I’m merciful like that. Now then, you’ve got two seconds to die, so hurry up and get dying! One! Tw—”

As Gadalkand begins his hyper-clichéd countdown, I unshoulder the rifle, take aim at him…and fire.

Gadalkand apparently sensed the danger and jumped out of the way as soon as I aimed the barrel at him. The shot takes out the demon behind him instead. The bullet goes straight through its head, punching a hole in the wall behind it. The sight of one of their own being reduced to pebbles silences the screeching band of demons.

Behind me to the right, Alice loads her shotgun and takes aim, while to the left, Snow brandishes her sword.

Standing a few feet behind us, Tillis calmly stares down the demons.

“Is everything all right?” a soldier calls from the door. He probably heard the sound of demon bits hitting the floor from below.

Snow shouts a reply. “The demons are here! Go and defend His Majesty!”

Gadalkand listens to the exchange with a casual air, whistling tunelessly as if trying to taunt us.

“…Well, damn, that’s some weapon you’ve got there. I gotta admit, you gave me a scare when you pointed that thing at me. What the hell is it?”

I slip another round into the chamber of the single-shot rifle, keeping my eyes locked on Gadalkand.

“…Oh, this? It’s a neat little toy known as an anti-materiel rifle. It’s designed to take out hardened targets like you from the safety of a balcony… Oh, that reminds me. Remember that woman you were talking about earlier? She’s still alive. You just met her earlier. And you actually taunted me, convinced that you’d killed her! Ha, what a moron! Are you sure you’re not just some third-rate demon that fell ass-backward into power?”

My words wipe the smirk off Gadalkand’s face.

“…You wanna die that badly, asshole? I’ll—”

“‘—gladly grant that wish for you.’ Seriously? Does that pea brain of yours only have room for tired clichés? You want your head squished like you did to Grimm? No? Then take that horde of yours slumming around out there and get lost!”

I lightly wave the barrel of the rifle toward him. Gadalkand assumes a fighting stance.

“…All right, listen up, boys. It looks like that weapon can only manage one shot at a time. He’s a sitting duck after each shot. Otherwise, he’d have blown us all to bits by now. Close the gap and jump him all at once. Don’t stop even if he blasts the guy next to you. You’ll get him.”

Dammit! This one’s not as stupid as he looks.

“Six, I’ll take care of the underlings. Do something about Heine and Gadalkand.”

“Not calling me commander anymore? That was quick. How long are you going to hold the underwear thing against me? Anyway, fall back. I’ll show you your commander’s real abilities. Hey, Alice! Get me the R-Buzzsaw!”

“…I beg your pardon? You’re gonna take them on by yourself?! You idiot! You are already…”

As Alice launches into her explanation, the demons begin moving.

“Six! I can at least deal with the grunts! I can help!”

Snow won’t back down, choosing instead to stand by my side.

Sigh. This woman. I thought she’d gotten over that stubborn streak, but nope, she’s still the same, even at a time like this.

The demons tighten the circle around Snow and me. Behind them, Heine begins gathering flames in her hand.

It looks like the griffin’s a little too big to fit into the room, so it’s waiting out in the balcony.

“Alice, hurry up! Please, I need that thing ASAP!”

At my desperate urging, Alice sets down her shotgun and scribbles onto a sheet of memo paper.

“Fine, but you’re on your own now!”

As if prompted by Alice’s remark, the demons pounce all at once.

I turn my rifle barrel toward Gadalkand, but unlike the other demons, he jumps to the side.

I turn the rifle toward the nearest demon and pull the trigger, taking it down.

As if taking advantage of that moment, another just barely streaks past me.

Sparks fly as a demon’s claw grazes the torso of my power armor.

I kick one of the pouncing demons, using the momentum to jump back and dodging a second fireball thrown my way. As I land, an enemy grabs the rifle barrel.

Two more rush me from the side.

“Six! Duck!”

As soon as I do, something grazes the top of my head.

Looking up, I see the two demons howling as they rear back with sword slashes across their faces.

“Wh-what were you planning to do if I didn’t duck?”

I try to contain the panic in my voice as Alice shouts at me.

“It’s here, Six! Grab it!”

The space in front of me hums and ripples with blue-and-white electricity.

When the static storm fizzles out, a familiar weapon is waiting for me.

I let go of the rifle, which still has a demon clutching at the barrel, and grab the weapon in front of me with both hands.

I flip the switch and slash at the demon holding my rifle.

The demon tries to block the slash with the rifle…

The sound of a rapidly vibrating blade cutting through hardened metal rings through the air.

The demon and the rifle both fall to the ground, cleaved clean in half.

“…H-hey! Wh-what the hell is that…? …Where did it come from…?”

Gadalkand mutters in shock; the demons around me, catching sight of their companion being hacked in half, halt their advance and back away.

“This? This is a piece of cutting equipment called the Anti-Armored-Vehicle Omnidirectional Vibrating Blade Bad Sword, Type R. I’ve taken to calling it the R-Buzzsaw, for short. See, where I come from, Bad Sword and Buzzsaw sound pretty similar. It’s perfect because they’re both handy tools for slicing up weaklings like you,” I answer Gadalkand, lifting the all-purpose chain saw with both hands and getting ready for battle.

I don’t really understand the mechanics, but an internal engine rapidly vibrates the blade, allowing it to slice through armored objects from tanks on down. It’s definitely my favorite weapon out of the entire Kisaragi arsenal.

I take the R-Buzzsaw’s external power connector and plug it into my power armor. That lets me add the power armor’s output to the blade.

It won’t last more than a minute, but this move’s allowed me to take out countless numbers of Heroes.

Now I can’t lose.

“Release Restraints!”

With that command, an announcement echoes in my head.

“Six, isn’t that the ability you used against the golem? The one that paralyzed you? Are you sure you want to use that with this many demons and two of the Elite Four surrounding us…?” Snow shouts in surprise.

“Proceed.”

The announcer continues in response to my answer.

“Alice! Stop him! Isn’t that supposed to be your job?!” Snow is still yelling.

“Yes, continue.”

The announcer begins counting down at the command.

Everyone in the room is frozen in place. The air is thick with tension.

“Siiiiiiiiiiix!!”

Sensing her opportunity, Heine tries to lob a fireball at me, but Alice thrusts her shotgun at her and diverts the blast.

<Six…five…>

I glance over at Alice as the countdown nears the end.

“GO GET ’EM!!”

My partner throws me a thumbs-up, evidently forgetting she’s an android and grinning from ear to ear.

“I’m Combat Agent Six of the Kisaragi Corporation! This world doesn’t need two evil organizations! I’m gonna end you here and now!”

“Bring it on, human! I’ll rip you apart and feed you to the ogres!”

Having grown tired of waiting, Gadalkand rushes forward while swinging his club. I jump forward to attack, pushing my body to the limit.

“Snow! Stay back! I’m going to take these bastards out with my Finisher!”

The club and the R-Buzzsaw meet mid-swing.

“?!”

My R-Buzzsaw slices easily through Gadalkand’s club, right down the middle, and I continue the downward swing without missing a beat.

“H-hey, wait!”

Letting the momentum carry my blade in an arc, I slash again at Gadalkand.

He utters a frantic plea and tries to shield himself with his arm. Both his remark and his right arm are cut off by my attack.

“H-hey, Six! What the hell is a Finisher?! P-pay attention to your surroundings!” Snow stammers in a panic.

“G-Gadalkand?! Hey, you! Stay back! Get away from him! Hurr!!”

I use the momentum of my swing to spin in place, planting my heels in a point. Using them as a fulcrum, I become an unstoppable whirlwind of death. As I spin, my blade lashes out at everything near me.

“Ah……ahhhhh!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Heine lets out a high-pitched scream as she watches her companions get drawn into the whirling blade and chopped into fine paste.

I’m spinning too quickly to actually keep track of who is getting caught up in the attack.

“Wai— Six!…… S-stop………! Y-you’re going to kill me, too……!”

Things that move, things in black.

“Eeeeep!”

I can’t tell who’s screaming what. I’m just mincing everything that catches my eye with my whirling sword.

The cooldown process begins, and I finally stop moving.

Around me lie the scattered pieces of what’s left of Gadalkand and his lackeys.

“Ahhh… Wh-wha-wha-wha……what-wha-wha-wha…?”

Heine sits cowering in the corner of the room, backing away in terror, her legs refusing to let her stand.

“…Sniff…”

Behind me, Tillis plops to the ground and starts to sob.

“Good work!” Alice chirps. She had taken cover by the wall sooner than everyone else.

“………”

Nearby, I see Snow assuming a turtle pose. She’s covering her head with her arms, and she’s curled up into a ball.

Noticing the silence that has fallen over the room, Snow peers out cautiously from her crouch, and I catch her tear-filled eyes.

“…Y-you…y-y-you…you, you! Six, what were you…? I thought I was going to…! I really thought I was going to die! Look at this massacre! One wrong step and I would have joined them on the ground in several pieces!”

“I did say I was gonna use my Finisher.”

“…Next time, give me ten seconds’ advance notice…”

Snow still looks on the verge of tears, sniffling loudly as she stands and wipes at her nose with her sleeve. She then looks over at the shell-shocked Heine.

“…Now then, what do we do about her? Are you going to splatter her across the walls with that weapon of yours?”

“Eeep!”

Snow probably meant that as a joke, but Heine takes it seriously. She goes deathly pale and begins to tear up.

It’d be a while before I could use that move anyway. My armor’s still on cooldown.

Evidently, Heine’s in no state to think that deeply about the circumstances.

“Well, I suppose there’s no reason to let her live…”

Alice looms over Heine, meaninglessly pumping her shotgun and chambering a new shell with a loud ga-chunk.

“A-ah…ahhh…!”

A thought comes to mind as I watch Heine cowering, teary-eyed, in the corner of the room.

“Now, Heine…”

“Y-yesh?!”

As I call over to her, she answers in a frightened falsetto.

“…I’m willing to overlook your role in all this…”

The silence lingers in the room.

“…Hic… Sniffle… Waaaaaah…!”

For some reason, Heine suddenly bursts into tears.

“H-hey! Why are you crying?”

“…S-Sir Six… Sh-she might be a demon, b-but…please…! Such a punishment is…!”

“…W-well, I do feel bad for her, but we don’t have a lot of options. Heine of the Flames, I’m sorry. All you can do now is, well…make your peace…”

“Okay, you two, let’s have a little chat. All I said was that I’d be willing to overlook things…”

I guess my pervy day-to-day behavior caused them to fear the worst for Heine.

“So, Six, does that mean you’re just going to let her go?”

“Of course not.”

At my immediate answer to Alice’s question, Heine’s face shifts from abject horror to crippling despair.

“It’s not gonna be that bad; don’t worry so much! I haven’t even done anything, but now I feel like an asshole! At least wait until I’ve done something before you react so negatively!”

“…Th-then…wh-what do you want me to do…?” Heine asks haltingly.

“How about a truce? A month should be fine. Those are my terms. If you accept, I’ll let you and your underlings go home.”

With that, I flash her my best roguish smile.

“…Was it okay to let them go with just a truce?”

Snow seems dubious as we watch Heine hop on her griffin and lead the massive horde of demons away from the city.

“If they actually wait a month, it’ll be plenty. I’ve got a plan… Still, we actually got through it. Oh, from now on, remember I’m Mr. Six to you lot. Make sure you thank me once a day. I mean, that’s the least you can do, given my contributions, right? Especially you, Snow. You promised I could do anything I want to you, right? You know what happens next, don’t you? Go get in the bath and make yourself all nice and squeaky clean for me.”

“…Say, I should go down and thank all the soldiers on behalf of the kingdom!”

“Hey, Six, when your suit cools down, we need to talk about something. I’ll be waiting downstairs.”

Tillis and Alice, hearing my words, make their way out of the royal chambers.

“…This is fine. I’m not lonely. It’s not like I wanted them to stay or anything. I’m used to this. Snow is plenty,” I mutter to myself as the room becomes emptier.

“…Um, Six. I mean, C-Commander… I know this is going to sound awfully convenient for me, but I need to ask a favor of you…”

Snow says this without her usual confidence, kicking at the floor, then bending down to pick something up.

“…Well… It’s just that, as a knight, I’d like to continue riding a unicorn… I’m sure you’re well aware of the criteria for being able to ride one… I know I’m being selfish…”

She cradles the object she picked up in her arms and approaches me as I remain immobilized.

Is that…?

Oh Lord, it’s Gadalkand’s head.

“…I’m sorry, Commander. Don’t feel pressured one way or the other. This is just a request…”

“What are you doing? Why’d you pick that thing up? Put it down! Don’t come any closer!”

Snow knits her brow, frowning apologetically. “C-could we…well…wait a while longer before we sleep together…?”

“Stop! What are you doing?! It’s not good to play with corpses, even if it’s an enemy! Stop! You’re too close! It’s creepy! Really, really creepy! Gadalkand’s head is freaking me out! I get it, I get it, I understand! We’re even! No need to worry about the promise! J-just stop! I don’t wanna kiss Gadalkand!”

Hearing those words, Snow finally tosses Gadalkand’s head aside. I growl in irritation and vent my frustration at her.

“Unbelievable! I figured it’d be something like this! You’re just like Astaroth! All women are the same! They use you when they need you; then when it comes time to return the favor, they cry and change the subject! Idiot! Moron! Ever since the day we met, I haven’t liked you one bit! Just leave and join the—”

Something soft presses against my lips, cutting off my fiery rant.

Snow’s quieted me with her own lips.

Even if I wasn’t still on cooldown, I’d be too shocked to move. Snow pulls away with a blush on her cheeks.

“Forgive me… This is all I can do for now…”

My brain still hasn’t finished processing the sudden event, and I remain silent.

“I—I don’t dislike that y-you like me… And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t flattered by your desire to bed me… But I just don’t understand this whole love and hate thing. Even so…”

Snow’s white skin flushes pink.

“I don’t hate you as much as when I first met you. I’m still very inexperienced, but…I’d like to take the time to think through my feelings for you…”

She looks at me with a soft, gentle smile.

…………?

“Wait, what the hell are you talking about? Why are you making it sound like I’m in love with you or something? Creepy!”

………

“…Huh?”

“No ‘huh’ about it. How did you get it in your head that I loved you? I don’t remember ever saying anything to that effect.”

Snow tries to process my words and looks at me in confusion, as though she doesn’t understand what I’m saying.

“…B-but I thought you wanted to s-sleep with me…”

“Well, yeah. Your face and body are definitely my type, so I just wanted a quick fling. No strings attached. Yikes, don’t make me say this out loud. I thought it was obvious. As for dating you? Give me a break; I’d never want to go out with someone like you. I mean, you’re quick to draw your sword and attack me, your ambition outweighs everything else, and you’re cheap as hell. What exactly is there to like about you? And really, you think you can get away with just a kiss…?”

As the words come flying out of my mouth, I note a sudden change in Snow’s demeanor and clam up.

“Haaaa……aaaaa……aaahhh……”

Snow has gone from blushing like a bride to taking deep breaths while holding back tears.

She looks like she’s trying really hard to contain something.

It reminds me of how a toddler pauses before going into a full-blown crying fit.

Snow’s hand trembles, and her armor rattles slightly as she reaches for her sword.

“…Calm down, Snow. Let’s talk this over like grown-ups. Look, I can’t move right now. If you lose control and attack me, I’m going to die.”

“Haaaa……aaaaa……aaahhh……”

Snow appears to understand what I’m saying, doing her best to hold back the emotions that threaten to overwhelm her. Her body shakes as she fights to hold it all in.

Unfortunately, for all her efforts, her hand slowly grasps at the hilt of her blade…

“Hold it in just a little longer, Snow. I’m sorry; I was being way too harsh. But you know, if you kill me after making me go through all this effort, it’ll completely ruin the taste of victory. You can contain this; I know you can! Just take deep breaths and count out prime numbers.”

“O-one…three…f-five…s-s-s-seven…”

I take off in a mad dash toward the stairs. Snow gives chase, screaming and crying at the same time.

“Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!”

Snow’s war cry sounds like a giant tantrum.

I urge my legs to run faster as the berserker chases me through the castle.

“Release Restraints! RELEASE RESTRAINTS!!”

I let out a hoarse cry as I flee.

“All right, I guess we’re done here.”

It’s gotten quite late. Just before midnight, by the look of it.

With the Demon Army gone, there’s no reason for us to stay here.

“Sir Six…thank you for all that you’ve done. I didn’t expect you to go to such lengths for our kingdom. Truly, you have my gratitude.”

“If you really are thankful, there are ways you can show your appreciation, you know? Make sure you put my name in this kingdom’s history books and let future generations know what I’ve done.”

Tillis smiles, then nods a bit shyly at my remark.

I’ve grown so used to seeing her as the malevolent power behind the throne that the sudden change in mannerisms catches me off guard.

…Or maybe it’s just the sudden relief as her kingdom is saved from the brink of extinction that gave me a glimpse under her mask.

With such an incompetent father as a king, she probably feels an added responsibility to be strong for the kingdom’s sake. That probably manifests itself as the whole iron-fist-in-a-velvet-glove persona.

The princess pauses a moment, pursing her lips like she’s about to say something.

“…Um, Sir Six. I’m aware that you have another mission to attend to. However, do you think I could perhaps convince you to become a knight of this kingdom once again…?”

In response to Tillis’s halting request, I slowly shake my head.

“Well. Honestly, I’m tired of this knight stuff. Babysitting these weirdos was exhausting.”

Tillis smiles sadly, as though she anticipated my answer. She can’t quite keep all the disappointment hidden, however.

As for two of my former subordinates who hear the remark…

“Weirdos?! Are you talking about us?! How rude! Don’t make me bite you, Boss!”

“So you do all those things with me, Commander, and you’re just going to walk away…? Take responsibility for what you did to my body!”

“Phrasing! Watch the phrasing, Grimm; you’re giving people the wrong idea! I bought you a new wheelchair, and we went for a few joyrides! That’s it— Ow! Rose, I’m sorry I called you a weirdo! Stop biting me! Stop!”

I peel Rose off my back before she can chew on me anymore, and then I make preparations to leave.

“…………”

There’s a silent Snow standing behind me.

“…? Well? Say something. You’re kind of intimidating, just standing there without a word.”

Snow continues to stare at me in silence. I guess she’s still mad about earlier.

“…Hey. Are you really never coming back?”

Great. She finally speaks, and those are the first words out of her mouth.

“You don’t need to threaten me. I’ll stay far away unless invited!”

In response to my usual banter, Snow takes a deep breath.

“…S-so are you going back to your country?”

“Of course. A certain someone here is likely to take my head off my shoulders if I stay. Besides, we’ve pretty much accomplished our objectives.”

Snow nods her head briefly. “……I see.”

“…Just spit it out already! Where’s your usual spice? If you have something to say, just say it. I need to go meet Alice soon.”

Snow clenches her hands into fists, pursing her lips. “…C-currently, our kingdom’s taken heavy losses in our war against the Demon Lord’s Army. So we’re currently seeking people who can command units or fight battles.”

“…………And?”

She pauses, as if weighing whether to say the next part. “…I don’t care what you are or who you really are anymore. If you don’t want to be a knight because you want to avoid annoying subordinates like me, well…we could hire you as a mercenary……”

The longer she continues, the tamer and more hesitant Snow’s words become.

Seems she still feels a little guilt for driving me off that first time.

“So you want people who can fight?”

“Y-yes. But that doesn’t mean we’ll take just anyone……”

When did she lose that confidence and sass anyway?

……Sheesh, she’s a handful however you look at it. I can see why she’d get demoted to the reject squad.

A brief glance shows me something else.

Snow’s not the only one giving me puppy dog eyes and begging me to stay.

Everyone around me, from my two former subordinates to Tillis herself are looking at me with hope and anticipation in their eyes.

Geez, these people really are needy.

Of course I’ll fight. It’s my job. And there’s plenty of battles waiting to be fought on this planet.

This kingdom needs people who can fight, huh?

Then I should take full advantage and corner the market.

I turn to the women in front of me and say in my best sales rep voice:

“One Combat Agent, at your service!”

The time is late, well into the night and closing in on early morning.

I knock on a particular man’s door.

“……Who is it?”

“Me. It’s me.”

At that response, the man opens the door without any semblance of caution.

“Who is it? Gear? Pomegranate? I haven’t called you; I’m busy right now…”

“What’s up, old man? It’s me, your favorite person in the world!”

The chief of staff stops his questions in mid-sentence, hurriedly trying to slam the door shut. I stick my foot out and use my boot to keep the door from closing.

“Gaaaaaaaaaah! Ow! Ow! My foot!”

Hearing my scream, the chief of staff throws open the door in a panic. I casually walk in, and Alice follows a few steps behind me.

“Wha…? Wh-what are you doing?! You can’t just barge in here!”

I ignore the chief of staff’s angry sputtering and glance around the room.

“…Well, well, things sure are different at the top. A lot of expensive stuff you’ve got here, milord.”

“Hey, Six, this is some really good furniture. Even a quick estimate would put their total worth in the millions.”

Whoa, really?

“…I’d be tempted to let him go if he gave us all his furniture…”

“I can’t have you being that easily swayed.”

The chief of staff seems to be struggling to follow our conversation. “Hey, now! What the hell do you two want at this late hour?”

“Well, well, that’s an interesting change from your usual tone. Is this how you really talk?”

“There’s an easy way to spot the small-time crooks. They can completely change their manner of speaking at a moment’s notice. He’s a stereotypical petty villain, Six.”

The chief of staff looks down, as if resisting an impulse. “……What do you want?!”

“…Well, you see, Snow told us everything. About how you got her to investigate us because you didn’t like me.”

“Indeed. Evidently, you hooked her by offering her a promotion, which led to her wandering to our room and overhearing a sensitive conversation. She kept apologizing for it.”

At that, all the color drains from the chief of staff’s face, leaving him white as a sheet.

“…Uh, well… Um…”

“There’s no way that’s true, riiight? You were so quick to praise me and call me a Hero at those meetings. Isn’t that right, old man?”

The chief of staff’s face lights up, and he pounces for the rope I dangle in front of him.

“Y-yes, that’s right! Sir Six is a Hero of the kingdom! Why would I hate such a man?”

“Good point… It must have been a misunderstanding on Snow’s part,” Alice agrees, and the old man nods enthusiastically.

“Yes! Yes, of course! That’s correct! ……Hey, wait. I recall Lady Snow saying that she wanted to kill you, Sir Six. That woman, she’s a commoner from the slums. If not for the war, she wouldn’t have ranked much higher than private. She got lucky and won her promotions, but I have no doubt that her ambition tempted her to do more. She probably hoped to take my place by pitting you and me against each other…”

“Damn, seriously? That’s messed up! Oh, hey, you know about that girl Rose? Apparently, she’s been on the hunt for some weird rock her grandpa wanted her to find. Something about it being his dying wish. I heard she’s being worked for almost no pay! Who came up with that idea? It’s genius!”

“If we’re going there, the whole idea of gathering a group of rejects from the army and using them as expendable troops is impressive, too. A true masterstroke.”

At our words, the chief of staff grins widely. Pleased as punch.

“Why, those are my ideas! Princess Tillis is a capable administrator, but she’s much too sheltered. She’s incapable of discarding the unworthy. So I chose to help reduce her burden, you see. I didn’t gain the chief of staff position for nothing. Not to toot my own horn here, but this whole plan went rather well…”

………………

“Hey, Alice, can we stop now? Like I said from the start. He’s not worth recruiting.”

The chief of staff’s eyes widen in surprise at the sudden shift in my attitude.

“Right. I’d never met this old man or had a conversation with him, so I thought there might be some hope. But this guy’s not evil. He’s just an opportunistic little worm… What’s wrong, Six? Does your chest hurt?”

“Urgh. I don’t know why, but those words just hit me right here…” I press my palm against my chest.

“…Wh-what is the meaning of this?! Why the sudden change in attitude…? …I don’t know what triggered it, but I apologize if I offended you. What say we forget about the past and discuss the future…?”

The chief of staff begins to offer excuses, which Alice interrupts by slamming something down on the desk.

The object on the desk is…

“Wh-what is this?”

…a lotus root.

“It’s the edible rhizome of a lotus plant. Not only can you eat it, it’s got some medicinal uses.”

“…A-and?”

Alice presses her expressionless face toward the chief of staff. “How would you like us to shove this entire thing up your ass?”

“Eeep! Wh-what is this girl saying?! D-didn’t anyone teach you not to play with your food?”

Alice didn’t look like anything other than a young girl, but her mannerisms and tone were as effective in the art of intimidation as those of any evil corporate operative. The chief of staff’s face twitches anxiously.

“I wouldn’t dream of wasting food. Once we’re finished, it will be cleaned, cooked, and consumed. Of course, I can’t eat, so you’ll have to do the honors.”

“Wha…? Wh-wha…what are you…?”

As the chief of staff backs into a corner, I tear off a length of an item I’m carrying in my hand.

“…J-just what is that…?”

The chief of staff grows curious about the item I’m holding.

“This? This is a tool used for punishing balding men. In some regions it’s referred to as duct tape.”

“Eeep! S-stop! What are you doing?! Please don’t!”

Looks like the chief of staff cares about his hairline after all; he keeps backing farther toward the wall with his hands shielding his scalp.

“Don’t worry so much. All I’m going to do is stick this on your head and peel it off. See? Easy.”

“P-please don’t! I’ll do anything! Do you want money? I can give you money! I’ll give you all that you ask for. So please don’t!”

Alice picks up the lotus root, then approaches the chief of staff, completely immune to his pleading.

“Hey, old man, if you’re gonna dabble in evil…”

I tear piece after piece of duct tape, storing it on my wrist before finishing Alice’s warning.

“…And if you’re planning to entrap someone, you’d better be ready to go down yourself… This is a show of thanks for how you treated my subordinates. So… Lotus root or duct tape? What’s it gonna be?”

The chief of staff just gives a tense, weeping smile.

After leaving the chief of staff’s room, we make our way toward the hideout to pick up our luggage.

“…You know, Six, even though you’re a meathead, your latest plan has my praise.”

I raise a brow at Alice’s comment.

“Hmm? What ‘plan’ are you talking about?” I ask back, confused by her praise. “And stop calling me a meathead.”

“…Wait, that wasn’t part of a plan? Everything we’ve been through?”

“…?”

Nope, don’t understand what she’s getting at.

“You made a promise with Snow, remember? About hiring Combat Agents?”

“Oh, that. Right. I promised Snow that we’d stick around and fight whoever we needed to fight, at least until we can get back to Japan. Though, since the truce with the Demon Army is supposed to last a month, we might not even have to fight before we leave. How’s that for an impressive plan?”

In spite of being an android, Alice lets out a sigh of exasperation.

“…Look at your current Evil Point balance.”

…190 points.

“…Huh? There’s a lot more than I thought. How? How did I get this much for pulling down Snow’s panties and bullying a baldy?”

“Look closer. Notice something next to the total?”

I take a second look.

…………-190.

“Uh…what?”

“Don’t ‘what’ me. You requested the R-Buzzsaw even though you didn’t have enough points, remember?”

“Since your point count’s negative, if you get back to Japan, the retribution squad’s going to grab you and subject you to some pretty rigorous punishment.”

So our corporation’s got this division called the retribution squad.

Normally, Evil Points are accumulated by completing evil deeds. However, if you rack up enough good deeds or tarnish the reputation of the organization by doing something embarrassing, you’ll start losing points.

Once your score hits negative figures…

“…I’ve heard the punishment is terrifying.”

“Seems like the punishment is customized for the victim each time.”

……Shit, shit, shit, shit. What do I do?!

“Alice! I don’t want to go back to Japan!”

I grab Alice and shake her in a panic. She stares at me as though she’s watching a particularly interesting new animal.

“Huh, you really weren’t doing it all on purpose, then…? Okay, here’s the plan, Six. Stay here. Even once the teleport connection is stabilized, stay here and keep working as a hired Combat Agent. Earn yourself enough Evil Points and head back to Japan only after you get them back up in the positive.”

“Perfect! Still, if there’s a month between now and the connection stabilizing, that should be plenty of time to get myself in the black again.”

I mean, I actually raised more than that in a shorter period of time. And that was just a few days ago!

“Hey, Fly, you’re forgetting that there’s wanted posters of you all over the city. You’re basically on parole.”

Oh, crap!

“Listen, will you? I’ll write the report this time. I’ll come up with some reason why you can’t leave yet. I’ll stay here with you as you accumulate points.”

“All hail Queen Alice!”

I cling to Alice. She in turn starts patting my head as though reassuring an overgrown child.

“All right, all right. Now start thinking up new ways to acquire points.”

“You got it, partner! I’ll start by meeting up with my squad members and stripping all of them naked!”

As I turn to head back to the castle, I hear Alice’s voice.

“H-hey, are you serious? And what’s this ‘partner’ business? I’m a support-type android…”

Alice is giving her usual complaints, but I’m too preoccupied with figuring out how to acquire points that I don’t quite make out all her words…

“…Partner, huh?”

…But I could’ve sworn I heard her mutter one last thing with a hint of satisfaction.