FINAL CHAPTER

Brainy Partner, Brawny Partner

1

The next day.

The three had sufficiently recovered from their near-death experience, so I explained our new mission to them—

“Sob… Sniff… Sob… Bwaaaaah…”

Currently, we’ve piled into the new buggy, and with Alice at the wheel, we’re heading back toward Toris across the evening plains.

After listening to my explanation, Rose, sitting in the back seat, looks at me with a faintly exasperated expression. “To head right back to Toris after doing that to their royalty… I have to admit, Boss, there are times when I’m pretty sure you’re just dumb.”

“For all your cuteness, you have some real zingers sometimes. And you’re a man-eater, to boot.”

Snow’s sitting in the passenger seat up front, while the rest of us are in the back.

Grimm was so excited about the buggy’s speed last time, but I think something snapped in her brain when she got mummified. She’s sitting on the seat clutching her knees, muttering something under her breath.

And then…

“Sob… Sniff… Bwaaaaah… Sniff… My pay… My salary…”

“Hey, Six. Do something about her. She’s getting on my nerves.”

Snow, sitting in the passenger seat, has been sobbing continually.

Because we failed our water fruit–collection mission, it appears she got a pay cut in addition to her demotion.

“…Sheesh. Hey, Snow, there’s nothing you can do now about the reduced pay, right? I mean, look at me. I always use up my money the week I get paid. Yet, I manage to enjoy my life. There’s more to life than money.”

“The reason you’re enjoying life is because I give you an allowance.”

“Y-you get an allowance from a childlike Alice…? That’s low, even by your standards…”

Great. I try to cheer her up, and instead, I get a guilt trip.

“But this pay cut hurts. Too much, really… I was hoping to buy a replacement for my poor frost blade that perished in battle with Heine…” Snow begins to tear up again.

“Okay, fine,” Alice mutters in annoyance. “Snow, if you’re useful during this mission, I’ll give you an allowance. And if we manage to acquire a certain object from those ruins, I’ll pay you a bonus worth three months your salary. How about it?”

“Sweet Lady Aliiiiiice!”

I think we’re starting to get a good idea of how to deal with her.

Snow clings Alice, who is still driving and pushes her aside with a look of exasperation. “The goal this time is infiltration. So keep your temper in check.”

“Of course, Lady Alice! I, Snow, swear to be of use to you.” Despite the fact that she was criticizing me for the same thing a moment earlier, Snow flips her attitude entirely.

“Hey, how deep do your sins run? Just what did you do in your previous life to end up this way? What sort of life does someone have to live to become like you?”

“Oh, shut up. You’re one to talk, getting an allowance from Lady Alice. Money is the most important thing in the world. If it’s for money, I’ll toss aside colleagues, acquaintances, hell, even my parents, whose faces I’ve never seen.”

“Sorry to interrupt you as you reach a record-breaking low, but stop calling me Lady Alice.”

You know, I’m starting to feel this gold digger is better suited to Kisaragi than I am.

Hoping to avoid any further involvement with her, I turn my gaze to the carnivorous Chimera sitting next to me chewing on a piece of jerky.

“Say, Rose. Do you really not remember what happened in the desert?”

“This again, Boss? Like I’ve said before, I don’t remember a thing. I remember being so hungry that I was about to faint. Then when I came to, I was sleeping in a bed at the castle. Besides, there’s no way I’d attack you, Boss. Orcs are as far as I go when it comes to food.”

Yes, she claims she doesn’t remember attacking me.

The moment she woke up, I tried to force her to apologize for trying to eat me…

“And if what you said is true, Boss, you did a bunch of things to me, too. Um, what did you actually do?”

“…If you don’t remember, then it’s best to let it go. I got a little enjoyment out of it.”

“Boss, what did you do to me?! I won’t be mad, so please tell me. Depending on what it is, you need to take responsibility for it!” Rose grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me.

“I don’t like the words…”

“Taking responsibility, I know! How awful! I don’t know why, but those words stick out in my memory!”

Why does she remember that of all things?

“<Hey, Alice. Are we sure she’s safe to bring along? I don’t want to anyone taking a bite out of me during the mission.>”

“<Nothing came up when I examined her. Chimeras are weird life-forms, so I can’t say how they differ from humans. Still, it should be all right if we avoid making her hungry. Make sure you keep her fed.>” Alice sounds unconcerned, but being the one who was almost eaten, I can’t quite get over my anxiety.

Noticing that we started a conversation in Japanese, Snow draws closer to us.

“…You know, I didn’t want to bring this up before, but every time you two break into your native language, you’re plotting something, aren’t you? Hey, Six. I’m not like those inflexible knights you know. I’m a woman who can accept the good with the bad. So as long as you two aren’t planning to betray Princess Tillis, I can help you with your schemes.”

I can’t quite believe what I’m hearing out of her and give her a look.

Snow then misinterprets the look, shaking her head. “Don’t say it, I know what you’re thinking. That it’s not the sort of thing a knight should be saying, much less the former captain of the Royal Guard. That the people’s hero, Lady Snow, should be above reproach.”

“Not at all.”

Snow doesn’t let my remark deter her, and she dramatically forms her hand into a fist. “However, I’m a true patriot! So long as it brings prosperity to the kingdom of Grace, I care not what happens to other countries, nor do I care what evils I must engage in. So, Six, Alice, confide in me. You’ve said you’re investigating these ruins, but what are you planning to do? Come now, give me a bite of the apple. I won’t ask for a cut. Just so long as you let a little of the gains trickle down to me.” Snow has the eyes of one who has completely succumbed to their greed, and she smiles at us, still operating under her mistaken assumptions. “What riches await in the ruins in Toris? You said you’d pay a bonus if we acquire a certain object. What is this object? Is it treasure? If it is, I’d be willing to look the other way while you skim a bit off the top for yourselves.”

Ah, so it looks like she thinks we’re going after a buried treasure, and she’s proposing we keep some of it instead of giving it all to Tillis.

“<Hey, Alice, should we just recruit her into Kisaragi? I think she’s got potential as an evil minion.>”

“<I don’t really get the sense Snow is evil. She reminds me of you, actually. She’s nothing more than an underhanded lackey. She’s the sort who fails because she lets her greed get the better of her.>”

As we engage in another conversation in Japanese, Snow makes more mistaken assumptions, smiling over at us cheerfully.

Whatever happened to the proud, compassionate knight who risked her life fighting the enemy and came to beg for my help to save Rose and Grimm during the Demon Lord’s Army’s invasion? The beautiful young woman kissed me and said she’d consider going out with me, then smiled shyly…

“Well? Have you come to a decision? Don’t worry, I know where we can dispose of any goods of questionable provenance. There’s a shop that handles that sort of thing in the slums. Heh-heh… How about it? I think it’s a good deal for all of us…”

Looking at this woman and her scheming smile, I accept that the Snow from that time is gone. “To make sure we’re on the same page: The thing in the ruins isn’t treasure. It’s a weapon of some sort.”

“Now, there’s no need to be so cautious, Six. It’s between us. We’ve exchanged a kiss. You can trust me,” Snow whispers to me, despite the fact that she’s not believing me when I’m telling her the truth.

…Man, this chick is a pain in the ass!

2

I wonder how long it’s been since that conversation.

The road is now pitch black, since the sun set hours ago, and Alice is driving with the buggy’s lights off, hoping to avoid a repeat of the antlion encounter in the desert. An android equipped with night vision is really useful at times like this.

After some time driving and staring into the darkness, Alice narrows her eyes.

“We should be getting close to the ruins. I can see some lights. That’s most likely our competition’s camp.”

I turn to look in the same direction, seeing a small light off in the distance. As we approach, slowing down, the lights eventually reveal an enormous building.

“…Whoa. That’s big.”

It looks about the size of the Tokyo Dome, and it’s definitely out of place compared to the rest of this world’s culture.

I couldn’t help commenting on it, and Alice seems impressed as well.

“Huh, looks like there might be something to this ancient civilization stuff. Hey, Six, if it’s a civilization that can build something like this, the ancient weapon might actually be pretty useful.”

“And of course that ancient weapon’s gonna go berserk and try to kill us when we go to claim it, right? I’ve seen this sort of thing a million times.”

We park the buggy in right where we are to avoid being noticed by the demons and take the time to discuss our next moves.

“It’d be best to finish our survey at night. Otherwise, you won’t be able to make much use of my powerful gifts,” the nocturnal Grimm says, energized by nightfall.

“I’m not going to deny the existence of your abilities like Alice, but I can’t remember the last time your supernatural abilities did us any good. Is there anything useful about you at all?”

“W-wait just a minute! I’m Archbishop Grimm! When the odds are slim, look to Grimm!”

Grimm’s been little better than baggage lately, so here’s hoping she has an opportunity to shine.

Snow appears to finish her observations of the lights off in the distance. “So about our next move… I doubt they’re expecting us to return so soon after our escape from Toris. So…I’m going to propose we do something a little underhanded.” She smiles deviously. “No doubt they’ve let their guard down. After all, we’re in the middle of the kingdom of Toris. The only thing they need to worry about is feral monsters. Therefore, instead of investigating the ruins, why don’t we just attack them during the—”

“Miss Snow, I think you’re taking a little too much inspiration from Boss lately.”

“Say, Snow, unlike Rose and me, aren’t you supposed to be a proper knight? I mean, I know they’re our enemy, but attacking enemies while they sleep? That seems a little much…”

Snow trembles a little in the darkness as Rose and Grimm shoot down her proposal.

“W-we don’t have much choice! There are two of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four over there! Six! Alice! You understand, right? This is a good plan! I mean, you two came up with things like attacking defenseless supply convoys and clearing out the Tower of Duster with that ridiculous tactic! This is right up your alley! Right? You agree with me, don’t you?”

Snow looks desperately to us for support…

“Hey, Snow, who do you think I am? Kisaragi operatives can’t resort to something so lame.”

“Well said, Six. You’re a model Kisaragi operative.”

Snow’s eyes widen in surprise at our sudden betrayal.

“W-wait! I was trying to learn from the tactics we’ve been using and adapt to your way of thinking…!” Snow desperately tries to put forth excuses.

We look over at her, shaking our heads with a sigh.

“Did you hear that, Alice? She claims she’s trying to adopt our way of thinking. Seems she doesn’t have a very high opinion of Kisaragi.”

“Indeed. Six, now’s the time to give her the truth. No sugarcoating anything.”

At the barrage of criticism, Snow’s eyes begin to well up with tears.

“We’re going to rest until morning, then follow them into the ruins. We’ll let them take care of the traps and security mechanisms. Once they overcome all the obstacles and reach their destination, they’ll be worn out. The moment they let their guard down at the objective, that’s when we’ll strike. We’ve thought this out very carefully. And you’d have us throw it all away for something as lame as a night attack? Eesh.”

“Well said, Six. Spoken like a proper Kisaragi operative.”

Alice and I nod at each other. As Snow begins to throw a tantrum, we ignore her and go to bed.

3

The next morning…

“Six, do you plan to sleep all day? Get up! I don’t see them. Looks like they’ve gone into the ruins!”

Snow’s yelling wakes me as I lay sleeping inside the buggy.

“What the hell? It’s too early in the morning for all that yelling… It’s easier to follow them if we give them a nice head start…”

“I don’t care; get up! What if they get to the treasure before we do?!”

I keep telling her we’re not here for any treasure, but it’s just not getting through to her.

Thanks to Snow’s excited urging, we quickly finish breakfast and set off after Heine and company.

The entrance to the ruins, ordinarily sealed, is wide open, which I suspect is the result of Russell’s handiwork. A cautious glance into the ruins shows a thick layer of dust carpeting the floor. The ruins have been untouched for a long time.

“Look at this, Alice. We’ve been in a fantasy world all this time, but now it’s getting all sci-fi-ish.”

In fact, the lights in various parts of the ruins are still working. The walls and corridors, made of some unknown material, give the whole place a distinctly cyberpunk vibe.

“There’s definitely something odd about this planet’s culture level. It makes more sense to assume there was an advanced civilization in the past and that what we see now is a post-collapse society. Really, when you think about it…” Alice glances over at Rose, prompting me to do the same.

“Wh-what is it? Why are you looking at me like that?!”

Ah, I see. “She’s not exactly a product of natural evolution, is she?”

“Right. This planet’s ecosystems are all out of whack, but Rose takes that to the next level.”

“I don’t know what it is you two are talking about. But that’s pretty rude!”

I look to Rose and put my index finger to my lips in a hushing gesture. Kneeling, I use my jaw to point out a set of footprints in the dust. “Look, tracks. It shouldn’t be too hard to follow them… So with that said, hey, Snow.”

Snow walks over.

“Strip.”

“Seems you’re still in that desert mindset. Fine. I’ll kill you before I deal with Heine.”

A single word is enough to send Snow nearly over the edge.

“I’m saying you need to take off that armor. You clank when you walk. You need to take this more seriously.”

“Grr… F-fine. Give me a moment…”

As if in protest, Grimm uses her toes to lightly back away in her wheelchair.

“No, we’re not doing something as ridiculous as exploring ruins with a wheelchair. We’re screwed the moment we run into some stairs. Stand up!”

“Nooooo! And here I’d sworn I’d never get up from it again after burning my soles on the desert sand.”

Ignoring Grimm’s protests, we force her to start walking on her own feet.

Alice frowns at us. “A little quieter please, you meatheads. Are you trying to give away our presence? Once you’re prepared, we’re going to catch up to them before they reach their goal… What is it, Rose?”

Alice turns her attention toward Rose, who has been tilting her head with a puzzled expression and glancing around the interior of the ruins.

“No, it’s nothing… This is supposed to be different from the ruins they found me in, but the shape and patterns of the wall feel familiar, like I’ve seen them before…”

These ruins have been sealed up until very recently. That means it’s safe to assume that if she’s seen these walls before, Rose is a product of this ancient civilization…

Suddenly…

As we’re enjoying the feeling of adventure that comes with exploring an ancient ruin, we hear Snow grinding her teeth together.

“Grr…! It won’t budge…!”

“Miss Snow! What are you doing?! You can’t just pull off the lighting!”

It looks like Snow’s convinced herself the lights would be worth good money, so she’s trying to remove the lights embedded in the walls.

How far does she intend to fall anyway?

“…Hey, Alice, are you sure we shouldn’t just leave her here?”

“…Well, I already told her I’d pay her a bonus if she was useful…”

4

The interior of the ruins appears to be arranged as a single path.

There’s a large number of side rooms along the way, and there’s debris from something inside each room.

“Hey, Alice, these have gotta be robots, right? They don’t look like anything else.”

“They haven’t fared very well over the years, but yeah. They’re robots.”

They must have been security robots. The remains are scattered like mileposts, and as a result, our exploration was…

“Wait, Six. If we can take these home, they’ll be worth—”

“No, put those down. We’re never going to catch up to them at this rate! You can come back for this crap later!”

…not going well. We’re not making much progress thanks to Snow’s greed. She’s convinced herself that the remains have some value.

“Alice, tell her to stop screwing around. If you threaten not to pay her the bonus…”

“Fascinating. I wonder what powers them… Hmm? What is it, Six? You look dumber than usual with your mouth hanging open like that.”

…Not you, too!

Now that I’m aware of it, I notice that Alice is poking around, too, touching things here and there.

Just then, Rose steps up to the inert remains of a robot, tilting her head curiously.

“What is it? Are you interested in these things, too?”

“…No. At least I don’t think so. But I feel like I played with these kids a long time ago…” Rose places her hand on the robot’s chest, making an interesting observation in a hushed voice. And at that moment…

Something like a voice rings out from the faint darkness in front of us, followed by a bright red flash of light.

We look at one another and nod, quietly moving forward toward the source of the sound.

As we move forward, we eventually find…

Heine and Russell kneeling in front of a security robot that’s recently been reduced to a hunk of junk.

“This has been pretty exhausting, but seems we’re getting close. Looks like you’ve used a fair bit of magic, Russell. Are you sure you don’t need to rest?”

“I’m fine. Chimeras basically have unlimited magic. So long as we don’t run out of food, I can cast water spells all day if I need to.”

We watch as Heine and Russell stand there and chat without anything resembling a sense of urgency. That probably means they just finished fighting the robot. Thanks to Heine’s flames, the ambient temperature’s pretty high, and I feel sweat beading on my forehead.

Still, I’m pretty sure he just said “Chimera.” Alice suspected they were related to these ruins. Looks like her theory’s correct.

“All right, let’s just wrap this up, then,” says Heine. “I’m tired of camping. I want to get out of this creepy place and get a good night’s sleep back at the castle.”

“Creepy, huh? This place reminds me of home, actually… But I guess you would feel uneasy; you’re a modern demon used to your modern environment.” Russell’s comment piques my interest, right now it’s more important to keep following them.

I signal to the rest of the group, sneakily following the two to find the perfect moment to strike.

“Heine, a new guardian’s approaching us from that hallway! Leave this one to me! Take care of the other one!”

“On it. I’ll burn it away with my flames! Geez, there’s a lot of these things!”

Well, these two aren’t members of the Elite Four for nothing. They destroy the security robots without much risk to themselves, quickly pushing farther into the ruins.

“Damn, a trap! You all right, Russell? Not hurt, are you?”

“I’m fine, thanks to you. But now you’re hurt! Show me your wound; I’ll heal you!”

Triggering traps, getting hurt.

“It’s just a scratch. Besides, we can’t have you getting hurt. Defeating the Sand King is the long-awaited dream of all demons. You’re the only one who can do it.”

“Heine… You’re right. I have to do this, for everyone. I can’t afford to die until I complete this mission…”

“Don’t be stupid. I won’t let you die even once you do complete your mission. You’re still a kid. And adults are supposed to protect kids.”

Strengthening their bonds of friendship.

“Treating me like a kid again? Fine! Just watch. I’ll protect you some day, Heine.”

“Heh. Well, that gives me something to look forward to.”

We silently watch all their exchanges…

“Heh-heh… They don’t have the first clue that we’re here,” I murmur. “I’m looking forward to reaching the objective.”

So far, they’ve made it really easy to just follow them.

“…Hey, Six,” says Snow. “Watching their efforts makes me hesitant to steal the treasure from them…”

“What the hell are you talking about? They’re high-ranking demons. Taking their prize is the right thing to do. Throw that guilt away; it’s useless!”

Even as I reply, Heine and Russell continue their advance.

“More importantly, Grimm, can you secretly curse them from over here? Seems they’re both magic users of some sort. How about using a curse to keep them from casting when a security robot attacks them? I bet that’ll put them in a bind.”

“I have to talk at a certain volume to cast a curse. Still, it’s a good idea. I’ll give it a try if the opportunity arises.”

“Boss, I don’t think I can bear it…,” Rose interjects as I discuss the subject of curses with Grimm. She’s been quieter than usual, maybe sympathizing with Russell, a fellow Chimera.

“Rose, get it together. The fate of the kingdom rests with our mission. We can’t afford to lose. Swallow your feelings of guilt and bear it. Once we get home, I’ll buy you lots of tasty food, all right?”

“I meant to comment on this before, but you seem to think I’ll go along with anything if you just offer me food. I mean, I’ll listen this time, but…!”

Heine and Russell wrap up their fight while I’m buying Rose with the promise of food.

Watching them fight from a distance reminds me that these two are really strong. I’d like to avoid fighting them head-on if I can help it.

After what feels like an eternity later…

Ahead of us, Heine and Russell stop as they reach something.

“Looks like this is the place…”

After going through countless small rooms, they’ve entered a large and spacious room. In the center, something lies unmoving inside an enormous glass case.

I can tell what it is even from this distance.

It’s a giant robot.

Heine spends a little time staring at the robot inside the case before shaking her head and saying rather cheerfully, “So that’s the ace in the hole for taking out the Sand King. It’s certainly big enough…”

Russell nods. “Yeah. Of course, this was originally made to wipe out the monkeys infesting the surface. Meaning once we exterminate the Sand King, we can move on to getting rid of those obnoxious humans.”

I think we can make our move now. Alice and I nod to each other, then signal the others.

Oblivious to our actions, Heine tries to calm Russell down. “You’re still planning to do that…? Do you really hate humans that much?”

“Yes—yes I do. It’s also what my creator wanted. Are you saying you don’t hate them, Heine? I’ve heard they’ve done some horrible things to you.”

Heine lets out a bitter laugh at Russell’s question. “Sure, I’ve had my share of humiliations, but this is war. If I sought revenge for every little thing they did, the war would never— Actually, you know what? There is someone I hate. I’d love to put an end to a certain son of a bitch, at the very least.”

“R-really? I see. I’m assuming you mean that guy we met in Toris? If the opportunity arises, I’ll let you kill him.”

I stealthily approach behind them as they’re busy with their conversation.

“Well, once this thing’s activated, I’m sure the war won’t take very long. All right, Russell, I’m counting on you.”

“Leave it to me… Yup, looks like it’s in good shape. Doesn’t look like anything’s malfunctioning. At this rate…”

I silently close the distance.

“DIIIIIIIE!”

“Wha—?!”

I catch Russell completely flat-footed, landing a hard kick between his legs from behind.

5

“Russell of the Water, pillar of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four, falls before me!”

“Russell?!” Heine lets out a pained scream as Russell collapses to the ground.

Having closed the distance, we surround her.

“Hands where I can see them!”

“S-S-Six?! What are you doing here…?!”

Heine, who has yet to recover from her shock, obeys and raises her hand as Alice and I point our guns at her.

“We’ll be taking this weapon off your hands now. If you resist, we’ll make you watch as we shoot the brat next to you.”

“““Yikes…”””

I explained the plan to them earlier, but my subordinates look thoroughly disgusted by my actions.

At my words, Heine seems to fully understand what’s going on, and her expression slowly turns to surprise. “Y-y-you bastard! W-wait. Have you been following us the whole time?! Was your plan to take all the spoils at the end?!”

“Yep, you got it. It’s been smooth sailing for us since you two took care of all the obstacles.”

“That’s so messed up! You scumbag! There are lines you shouldn’t cross…!” Heine protests (however little that’s worth), tears welling in her eyes.

But I mean, c’mon, we’re an evil organization. What are we supposed to do…?

Besides, I didn’t get any Evil Points this time, so this isn’t even a particularly villainous thing to do.

“Don’t sweat the small stuff. Just come along quietly as a prisoner… Ah, that reminds me, Heine. Earlier, you said ‘Actually, you know what? There is someone I hate. I’d love to put an end to a certain son of a bitch, at the very least.’ Who were you talking about, hmm?”

“Eeep?! I—I—I wasn’t talking about you…”

Even as I bully her, Heine keeps casting worried glances at the motionless Russell.

Oh, right, this brat knows all about what’s in here. I need to wake him up and get the information out of him.

“Hey, Alice, go extract some information from that brat.”

“Got it…” Responding quickly to my instructions, Alice bends over to check on Russell. “Um, there might be one teensy problem with that request, though,” she says. “He’s not breathing. Looks like you landed a critical hit. Good work, Six.”

“Russell!” Heine lets out another cry.

“Wha? You serious?! Oh crap! H-hey, wake up! Alice, can you do something about this?!”

“I’ll inject him with a stimulant, I guess. Not much we can do if that doesn’t work.”

Everyone but Alice and I seem pretty appalled at the situation. Still, it looks like the shot worked, and Russell eventually comes to.

“Guh… Wh-what happened…?”

“Well, good morning. You almost died from one of my blows. But since the fight was pretty much over, we decided to have mercy on you and get you back up.”

The color hasn’t quite returned to Russell’s face, and I give him the rundown.

“Wow, that’s a pretty audacious claim, considering how he panicked after the attack was too effective.”

“And now he’s declaring himself the winner…”

“Wow, even Lord Zenarith thinks this is too much. Are you sure we should keep following the commander?”

The peanut gallery continues its hushed discussion as Russell observes his surroundings.

“…Ah, I see, I took a sneak attack. And then you waited for me to come to because you wanted to steal the weapon, right?”

“Good guess! Well, now, no sudden moves. If you twitch the wrong way, I’ll go ahead and attack you and this machine.”

“I get that I’m a demon and all,” Heine interjects, “so this might sound like a weird question…but how in the hell do you live with yourself?”

She’s going on about something, but right now the giant weapon is more important.

“First, you’re gonna open this up. Then you’ll listen to our instructions and teach us how to operate this big bastard.”

“Miss Snow,” Rose whispers, “this whole situation makes me feel like a really evil villain. I can’t keep watching this.”

“D-don’t look at me… This is for the good of the country. Yes, the good of the country…”

“Snow, try saying that while looking me in the eye,” Grimm says.

I continue to ignore them and listen to Russell’s explanation instead.

“Activation is easy. Anyone that’s involved with this facility can start it.”

It’s almost anticlimactic as Russell obediently opens the glass case and begins talking. Maybe he’s afraid of me after my powerful blow almost killed him.

“So how do you actually move it?”

“Like this.”

In response to my question, Russell shimmers briefly and…disappears?!

“Six, what the hell was that?! It swallowed up Russell of the Water!” Snow exclaims frantically while I hit the machine.

But the robot’s interior begins to flash as though it’s got a heartbeat…!

“Dammit! I’m startin’ to think we might be too late…!”

“Six, get the hell away from it! Forget about stealing that thing! We have to destroy it!”

I follow Alice’s warning and beat a hasty retreat as a giant hand emerges from the opened glass case, big enough to crush a person.

I’ve seen this type of weapon countless times. The Heroes love these things.

Yep, the thing standing up from the glass is a giant humanoid robot.

“FREEEEZE!” I yell at the robot, keeping my gun trained.

For a moment, it look like Russell is going to ignore me, but he stops moving when he catches sight of me pointing the gun.

He shouldn’t have any idea what a gun even is, but Heine’s reaction to having one pointed at her is apparently enough to give him a good guess.

“S-Six, s-surely that’s going too far…” Snow backs away, but now’s really not the time to arguing about this.

Heine raises her hands, and I step behind her, treating her like a human shield, gun barrel pointed at her back. I don’t know why, but it feels like my allies are repulsed just as much as the enemy.

Heine, still at gunpoint, lets out a deep sigh.

And then…

“Russell, can I leave the rest to you?”

“Yeah, now that I have this, it’s not a problem. Go on ahead.”

I connect the dots of their conversation—this is the part where Heine escapes using some sort of device.

As if to confirm my suspicion, Heine reaches into her cleavage and retrieves a single stone…!

“Six, it’s a draw this time! But next time… Wha?! Hey, don’t… EEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!”

“Nice try!”

I shove my hand into Heine’s cleavage hoping to grab the stone first, but unfortunately, I’m a heartbeat too slow.

It must have been a teleportation item of some kind. Heine vanishes, and in her place she leaves…

“Huh, congrats, Six. Got yourself a gem, eh?”

Yes—I’m holding Heine’s bra.

“Th-that’s… Ah, Heine must have used a teleport stone. It must have left the undergarment because Six was holding it,” Snow explains.

“That means Heine just arrived at the Demon Lord’s castle topless, doesn’t it…?” Grimm observes, her face an emotionless mask.

“H-Heine…,” Russell mutters softly with a grimace.

An announcement rings in my mind, confirming those observations.

<Evil Points Acquired>

6

I run back toward the path we came in from, escaping from the chamber.

“Damned monkey! Hold still! I’ll crush you for humiliating Heine!” Russell chases after me with his giant robot, calling me a monkey all the while.

“Oh, shut up! Do you really want Heine’s undergarments that badly, you pervy brat? Here, you can have her bra! Just go away!” In a slightly desperate move, I toss the bra toward the pursuing robot.

“Wh-what the hell?! Heine and I aren’t…”Russell trails off, stopping for a moment as the fluttering lingerie catches his eye.

We use that opening to flee into a smaller room. Russell looks a bit upset that his prey escaped as we take the long way around him.

“So we’ve managed to take cover, but what are we going to do now? I think that’s a little too big to take on directly…,” Rose says between labored breaths. She’s right; I can’t think of any weapons that would be useful against a target that big.

“Wait, can he even get out of this place? Looks like this little room is the only way out…”

“That would be lovely, but I doubt the ancients were that stupid. I’m sure there’s a door designed for that giant to use.”

As Snow and Grimm speculate, Alice identifies our way out.

“Let’s just head back to the entrance. If he can’t get out, we can just leave. If he follows us, we’ll come back inside and try to wait him out.”

“Sounds like a plan. I doubt anything that big can move for long without resupplying.”

We head back toward the ruin entrance in accordance with Alice’s plan.

Unfortunately, but not necessarily surprisingly, we get the worst possible scenario when we arrive…

“Oh, there you are. I was starting to get tired of waiting. Sorry, but I’m not letting you go this time. I should also mention that the ruins aren’t tough enough to handle me. You’re wasting your time if you think you can hide inside.”

Waiting at the entrance in his giant robot, Russell smirks from the cockpit.

“Well, Six? What do we do now?” Alice sounds rather calm, sitting cross-legged on the floor as our surroundings shake with the dull, distant thuds of the ruins coming down around us.

I sit there, crossing my arms and tilting my head in thought.

“He’s pretty short-tempered, so I doubt he’ll let us go even if we apologize. I feel like Heine might have let us go if we promised to defect to the Demon Lord’s Army.”

“Right now, Heine’s standing topless in front of her subordinates. I imagine she wants you dead more than anyone else,” Snow interjects as she casts a look around the room.

I thought she might be looking for another way out, but instead, she ignores our predicament and begins picking up lights and other odds and ends scattered nearby. I can’t quite decide if I’m supposed to be impressed by her dedication or not.

“Should we try one of my curses? If that thing is a magical semi-monster like a golem, my curses should work on it.”

“That thing’s probably a robot rather than type of magical creature… Hey, Grimm, test your curses on Alice. Technically, she has more in common with that giant thing than she does with golems.”

My proposal gets a response.

“Those scams again? Sure, give it a try. Hypnosis doesn’t work on androids.”

“All right, fine. I’ll show you my true power!” Grimm points her finger at Alice as the two of them stand up.

“Oh, hey, Grimm. Just in case you fail, make sure it’s a relatively light curse.”

“O Great Lord Zenarith, deliver disaster unto this blasphemous brat! Be assaulted by debris!”

Simultaneously, I hear a dull thud, and Grimm collapses to the floor as a piece of debris hits her head.

“Why is she always getting hurt before a fight?”

“Boss, the wall doesn’t look like it can take much more! There’s a lot more pieces falling down on us!”

I don’t even have the time to complain about Grimm being knocked out of the fight. Rose is right; the ruins are collapsing much more quickly.

“H-hey, Six, don’t you have any tricks up your sleeve?” Snow pleads. “Look at all this treasure! It’ll be worth a small fortune if I can take it back. We can’t give up now!”

“You idiot! Throw those away! That junk will just slow you down!”

Dammit, how do we get out of this?!

Just as I’m trying to sort out this mess in my mind…

“…Boss, it seems like he and I are related in some way. Do you want me to try talking to him…? Besides, I might be able to learn something about who I am in the process…”

As I’m in the middle of debating offering up the good-looking (but otherwise problematic) Snow as a sacrifice, Rose hesitantly offers her idea.

It takes me a moment to realize it might actually work.

“All right, it’s worth a try! Okay, Rose, to work up your rapport with him, start emphasizing the whole ‘Grandpa was right that humans are the enemy’ and—”

…I cut myself off at that point.

Rose had tried to sound happy and casual when she suggested it, but on a closer look, I notice she’s trembling.

I don’t know what she’s afraid of. Is she afraid of learning about her identity? Or is she afraid of the robot? Then again, given her love of fighting, she might not be frightened at all; maybe she’s trembling with excitement.

Still…

“Actually, stay here and protect this useless old priestess.”

“Do you actually have a plan?” Rose interjects without a pause.

“Hey, trainee, you think Kisaragi can’t handle that thing? Kisaragi’s technology is awesome. We can take on a clumsy hunk of scrap metal like that without breaking a sweat.”

“W-wait, since when am I a trainee?! I thought I said no!”

I ignore Rose’s protest and turn to Alice. “So, Alice, that’s the situation. Have any good solutions?”

“There is one,” she respond immediately. “But it’s risky. First, give up on recovering that robot. Also, are you prepared for your point balance to fall into the negatives again?”

“I thought we couldn’t do that anymore. Every time I send in a request that would drop me into the red, they don’t send me anything.”

Ordinarily if your Evil Points fall below zero, the punishment squad comes after you. However, since I figured they couldn’t send the punishment squad after me on this planet, I planned to go on a negative point spending spree, but…

“If they let you borrow points, you’d have spent yourself into oblivion. So I had them make it impossible for you to borrow points if it isn’t an emergency. Pay back what you owe me before you complain.”

“I’m glad you understand me so well. Could you wait a bit longer on the loans?”

Still, being able to spend more points than I have is pretty handy. I don’t think that even counts as a risk, really.

My face must have been giving away my thoughts, and Alice continues her line of questions. Her tone suggests she knows my answer, but she asks anyway. “The last problem is that you need to buy us time. You’ll have to take on that thing by yourself for a bit.”

I confidently snort out a laugh. “Buying time is my specialty. You’re talking to Agent Six, tenacity in power armor. I don’t know what you’re going to order, but I’ll leave that to you, my brainy partner.”

“I feel nothing but concern over your personality and mental state, but when it comes to fighting, I trust you, my brawny partner.”

This mouthy android. Why is she only reassuring at times like this?

She smacks me on the back and picks up her Kisaragi device.

“Alice, what do you need me to do?”

“You and Rose are going to assist me. You’ll need to follow orders to the letter. The longer it takes to assemble, the lower Six’s chance of survival, got it?”

What’s she planning to assemble?

…You know what? I’m not even gonna bother thinking about it. Thinking is her job, after all.

I jump outside and head toward Russell, who is pressed up against the ruins.

“It is I, Kisaragi Corporation Operative Agent Six! Stop making such a racket, you damn brat! If you want to bang things against a wall, go get a hotel room and do it there!”

I set my power armor’s strength boosters to maximum, taking a swing at its foot…!

7

After punching Russell’s giant robot’s foot, I…

“The hell?! If you’re going to run around like that, you shouldn’t have come out in the first place!”

“Oh, shut up! This is all part of my clever scheme! I don’t know what kind of energy you’re using, but I doubt anything that big can run for long!”

…have been focusing on evading any attacks, running around the robot’s feet and tossing taunts at every opportunity.

“This thing uses the pilot’s life force as fuel! A mere mortal might get exhausted quickly, but if it’s a Chimera like me at the controls, it can run for hours! Dammit, stop moving!” Russell stomps around in irritation. Each step sends a quiver through the ground, almost tripping me.

I’m not actually waiting for him to run out of energy; I only said that to explain why I bothered to come out and start scurrying about.

“You say that, but you seem kinda worried! No idiot’s going to take what an enemy says at face value! I’m used to endurance matches. It’ll take you hours to catch me!”

“Grrr, you little…! Screw it! I’m going to crush your friends first while you watch!” Russell shouts, turning the robot around to resume destroying the ruins…

“Whoa! Wh-what are you doing?! Now I’m pissed! I’m going to crush you flat!”

…but is promptly interrupted by the shots I fire at the cockpit. He quickly resumes chasing me.

Even if all I’m doing is buying time, this is nerve-racking. The worst part is that I don’t have a real way to fight back.

“Oh, for the love of…! Why are you doing this?! You can’t even scratch me! Just give up and surrender already!”

…Wait, no. I actually do have a way to fight back.

As Russell loses patience and turns his back to me, I draw my favorite weapon from behind me.

“Leave me an opening, and I’ll chop you to pieces!”

Seems he let his guard down, thinking I couldn’t do anything to him.

As the robot stands there, unconcerned with losing sight of me, I leap forward and slash with my R-Buzzsaw.

“Wh-whoa?! Wh-what are you…?!”

As I cut a gash into the giant robot’s ankle, it loses its balance and falls onto its butt—and I almost end up crushed underneath. That was a little too close for comfort.

“Hey now, looks like this ancient weapon isn’t as tough as it looks. It’s pretty lame, actually!”

“Y-you…! That’s enough!”

Russell flies into a rage at my umpteenth taunt, but he seems to realize it’s quicker to take my companions hostage than to try to get to me directly.

He only turns his gaze toward me and resumes demolishing the ruins.

Looks like he figured out I was trying to buy time. Still, I can’t just let him destroy the ruins…!

The moment of hesitation may have been my undoing as the giant robot stops attacking the walls and jumps at me, ignoring the risk of damage.

I feel an enormous impact, and then everything seems to grow a little brighter—no, that’s not right. Seems I lost consciousness, if only for a moment.

I’m driven by an instinctual need to escape, but I can only move my right arm.

Crap, this isn’t good.

I look toward Russell in the hopes I can get out of this with clever wordplay, but it seems my taunts were a little too effective.

Sitting in the giant robot’s cockpit, Russell wears the creepily ruthless smile only children can pull off. Step by step, he makes his way toward me.

“Don’t think I’ll let you die so easily.”

Russell utters a line worthy of a third-rate villain.

“That was a dumb thing to say. You’re tempting fate, you know.”

I remain in a slumped pose, offering a warning that comes from my greater experience in villainy.

Russell snorts mockingly, raising his arm toward me—

—and freezes at a sound that echoes from inside the ruins.

Guess the sound got his attention.

“What’s making that noise?” Russell looks down at me, his features wary.

“Wow… Can’t believe she ordered that of all things…”

It’s a low rumble familiar to every Combat Agent.

It’s a reassuring sound if it’s on your side, and a terrifying one if it’s not—the engine notes that every long-term Kisaragi employee can recognize in their sleep.

At the same time, the sound of something hitting a surface rings out from inside the ruins. It’s similar to the one Russell made demolishing the walls.

Russell’s expression slowly turns to one of alarm as the smashing noises and vibrations grow stronger.

The source emerges from the ruins, annihilating the walls in its wake.

“Wh-what is…?”

Russell gapes when he sees it.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, partner. The cavalry’s here.” The heroic line rings out from the speaker equipped on the thing’s exterior.

I can’t blame Russell for staring.

My badass partner is piloting a vehicle that gives Russell’s giant robot a run for its money.

“Wh-what, wh-wh-what is that thing…?!”

Suddenly bursting through the ruin’s wall is a giant multilegged combat vehicle, the pride of Kisaragi’s vehicle fleet.

I don’t know who named it, but it’s a spider-shaped weapon nicknamed the Destroyer.

Russell stands agape, staring at it in confusion.

I, in turn, do the same thing that Alice did when I took on Gadalkand.

Forcing my pain-racked body to move, I turn to Alice riding inside the Destroyer.

“Get him!”

I hold up my right arm and give her a thumbs-up—!

8

I wake up to an unbelievable sight.

“…Hey, Alice.”

“Ah, you’re awake. I injected you with medical nanomachines. Do you feel any pain?”

I’m in my bed at the hideout.

I twist around a little bit, trying to figure out how I feel. “No, can’t say anything hurts in particular…”

“Yeah? Good. You might have hit your head, though, so I’ll run some tests later. If you end up any stupider, even I might start having a hard time.” As usual, Alice’s bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired.

“I have a lot of questions. Do you mind?”

“Sure, shoot.”

First off…

“I remember up to the point where you attacked him in your Destroyer. What happened afterward?”

“We won of course. They had better hardware, but it came down to piloting skill. We took some damage, but I sent their robot to the scrapyard,” Alice explains rather cheerfully, and I feel a weight lift from my shoulders.

It’s not like I believed otherwise, but I’m still impressed by my partner. Ordinarily she’s a mouthy piece of junk, but she comes through when it counts.

“You mentioned taking damage. Is everything all right?”

“Yep. This Destroyer is a valuable asset; we had to put you into point debt to get it, after all. I’ll need a little time to repair it, but it’ll be fully functional again.”

I actually was referring to Alice, who had been piloting the thing, but I guess she’s fine.

“After you passed out, we destroyed the giant weapon and took down Russell. Snow and Rose managed to capture that brat.”

“Oh, that’s good. I’ve actually got plans for that kid. And what happened after? Where are the Demon and Toris armies?”

“Toris’s army beat a hasty retreat when I threatened them with the Destroyer. Tiger Man and the other Combat Agents took care of the Demon Lord’s Army using guerilla tactics. I took the opportunity to claim some land from both the demons and Toris. Meaning we’re done with Astaroth’s assignment, too.”

After hearing Alice’s explanation, I let out a sigh of relief.

“The princess mentioned wanting to come to a peaceful settlement with Toris, but they’re still being stubborn. They still feel they have the upper hand because they control water crystal exports.”

“Ah, gotcha.” So we just have to solve the water problem now.

“That’s about all of it. Any other questions?”

I decide to ask Alice the question that’s been bothering me the most. “Okay, well then, I did want to ask… Why were you pulling down my underwear?”

That’s right.

I woke up to Alice pulling down my underwear.

“I wasn’t taking them off; I was putting them on.”

“Doesn’t matter! Why are you putting underwear on me while I’m sleeping?! What is it? Did your curiosity get the better of you? Could you not resist checking out my impressive package?” I pull my underwear up all the way, carefully stowing everything in its proper place.

“I’m not interested in your Chunchunmaru. I was just taking care of your lower body needs.”

“Don’t call it Chunchunmaru! At least give it a more intimidating name…! Uh wait, my lower body needs? You were acting as my caretaker?” Another question comes to mind as I process what Alice just said. “How long was I out?”

“About three days. If you’re out that long, you’re going to end up doing number one and two in bed.”

Seriously…? “Damn, guess I’m off the marriage market…” I cover my face with my hands and begin crying.

“If you end up a lonely old man, I’ll take care of you until you croak, partner. So don’t be so melodramatic, Mr. Poopypants.”

I’m not sure if she’s trying to reassure me or if she’s taunting me.

“…I guess. Doesn’t look like Astaroth’s going to budge. Grimm’s a ticking time bomb, and Rose scares me. Snow is completely out of the question. I guess I’ll have to settle for you…”

“Settle for me, huh? That’s pretty rich coming from you, scumbag.” Alice tosses a jab my way, but I can see a rare hint of amusement in her expression.

“That reminds me. Can you have your body modified to have bigger boobs and be a little taller? Also, get a TENGA installed while you’re at it.”

“You’re lucky I’m an android. If you said that to a normal woman, no one would blame them for killing you.”

As Alice remarks with a sigh, I come to a realization. “Android… That’s it! Why didn’t I think of this earlier? Remember that demon Grimm summoned the other day? Try making a wish with him! Ask him to upgrade you from a mouthy android to a pretty human girl…”

“Well, that’s some attitude coming from someone who could barely move from all his injuries. And to think I cleaned up your messes for you. But if that’s how you want to play it, fine!”

As Alice throws my pants at me, I remember something important.

“Now wait, Alice. We’re not done cleaning up. Come with me for a bit.”

I grin at Alice’s suspicious glance.

Alice leads me down a flight of dimly lit stairs. Following us is my special guest—a bit of insurance in case our negotiations fail.

At the bottom of the stairs is a stinking pit of a dungeon.

And then…

“Hey, you’re looking good.”

Inside the dungeon, both arms secured with long chains, is Russell of the Water.

He lets out an unamused snort as he hears my voice. “I can’t believe you’re still alive after the beating I gave you. Tenacious, aren’t you?”

“Tenacity’s Mr. Six’s middle name. Honestly, my bosses call me that, and I don’t really like it, so could you not?”

Russell fixes me with a mocking glare. “I still can’t accept that I lost to someone as disgusting as you… Well, I guess I lost to that little one there. You were powerless against my weapon. I don’t know why you look so triumphant when you got your butt kicked by a kid like me.”

Russell grins, spitting out a string of insults. I guess he’s trying to anger me as revenge for all that taunting.

“You’re right. I’m a lowly minion after all.”

“…Just like that? How boring. You’re just going to own up to it? Sigh. I still don’t get why Gadalkand lost to you.”

When I casually accept his attempt at mockery, Russell puts his hands behind his head and leans back, as if to demonstrate he’s lost interest in me.

I point my index finger at him. “But you. Well, you’re the pathetic scrub who lost to that lowly minion, making you the most useless of all. All that attitude and look where you are: in a dungeon as our prisoner! How’s it feel to be mocked by someone so lowly? Come on, tell me, loser. Ha-ha!”

“Grrrrrrrr…!”

“Six, why are you fighting with this brat anyway? I thought you needed something from him.” Alice brings me back to the task at hand before I can taunt Russell any more.

“Oh, right. That’s not why I’m here. I actually had something I wanted to ask you.”

“Piss off.” Russell rejects my request immediately.

“…Hey, you damn brat, you should listen while Mr. Six is in a merciful mood, otherwise…”

“Go ahead. I don’t know what you’re planning to do, but go ahead and do it. Despite my looks, torture doesn’t bother me much. I guess it’s a Chimera trait. Things like heat, cold, and pain don’t bother me,” Russell jeers with the attitude of someone long past the point of caring.

Ah, that makes sense. Rose didn’t seem to mind the heat and cold in the desert. Which means what he’s saying is probably true, too.

“Let me get this out of the way. You put us through hell, but we’re enemies, and this is war. I don’t have anything personal against you. But you’re a prisoner now. If you won’t cooperate, we’ll treat you accordingly.”

“Like I said, go ahead. I’m a Chimera. I had a lot of things done to me in the name of experiments. None of that bothers me now.”

Well, that’s a problem… I was hoping to get a little more information about this Chimera stuff, too…

“Come on, stop sulking and listen. You know this country’s short on water, right? What I wanted to ask you was—”

“Oh, shut up! I have no interest in listening to your requests! Do whatever it is you’re going to do! Or are you all talk? Could it be that you can’t bring yourself to torture a kid like me? C’mon, if you’re not all talk, bring it on!”

……

“Well, all right. I can’t do this. I give up.”

“…Are you serious? Ah, okay. I guess you’re just that desperate for water. Are you going to bow and beg for my help? It’s true that I’m skilled enough with water magic to have it in my title. It’d be easy for me to make enough water to save this kingdom. Too bad for you that I have no intention of helping…”

I interrupt Russell’s monologue and lower my head in a bow.

Not to Russell, obviously, but to the special guest standing behind me.

“I apologize, Tiger Man. I couldn’t do it. I give up.”

“Well then…leave the rest to me. In fact, you might say this is time forrr me to enjoy myself.”

At my admission of defeat, our special guest, Tiger Man, steps out of the shadows.

Alice, who had been listening quietly, looks over curiously. “I didn’t know Tiger Man was any good at torture. Can he really break someone this stubborn?”

Tiger Man doesn’t respond to Alice’s question, instead approaching the cell as though to offer a demonstration.

“…Who the hell are you? You humans have beastmen among your ranks? Hey, beastman, can you understand what I’m saying? Ha-ha-ha, say something!”

Russell overcomes a moment of surprise at seeing Tiger Man and quickly regains enough confidence to start blustering again.

Tiger Man doesn’t say a word.

Instead, he stands there gazing intently at Russell’s face…

“Nyeow that’s some fine worrrk, Six. I’ll buy you a drrrrink later.”

“Really? Thanks, Tiger Man. Not only are you creepy, but you’re generous! How cool!”

“You don’t need to call me crrreepy. Little Russell’s going to get upset, so don’t say things like that nyeow.”

Russell casts a suspicious glance as I exchange words with Tiger Man.

Alice appears to have figured out the situation and offers Russell some advice. “Hey, you really screwed up on this one. If you’d listened to Six, all you would’ve had to do is make water all day. Well, I hope you’re happy with Tiger Man.”

“…Huh?”

Russell tilts his head in confusion, as though he doesn’t understand what Alice is saying.

Just then, Tiger Man, in a cheerier mood than usual, purrs out in a low, husky baritone, introducing himself to Russell.

“My name is Tigerrrrr Man. A mutant that loves little childrrrren. So much so that I plan to be modified into a little girl when I retirrre.”

Hearing that, Russell looks utterly bewildered…

“…Huh?”

“No ‘huh’ about it. You and I arrre going to be the best of frrriends from nyeow on, Russell. Nyeot to worry, I’ll be gentle nyeow.”

Tiger Man lets out a ragged breath, gripping the cell’s bars with both hands.

“E-erm… I don’t know what you’re talking about… I hate to burst your bubble, but I’m a boy. Heh. Sorry! Can’t you tell? Is this beast blind?”

Russell doesn’t appear to understand the situation yet.

Tiger Man smiles gently and continues with his nice, low baritone.

“I know you’rrre a boy. In fact, you’rrre just my type!”

Time stops.

“…What? What are you saying?! Hey, what’s he going on about?! He’s talking nonsense!” Russell says in a sudden panic, which just seems to excite Tiger Man further.

“Little Russell has a cute face, so I bet a skirrrrt would look myarrrvelous on him.”

“I don’t understand what you’re talking about!”

I admit I don’t get it, either. Still, I can say this with confidence. “Wow, Tiger Man. Mutants sure are impressive!”

“What the hell are you impressed by?! Y-you’re kidding, right? I’m a guy! You’re just threatening me, right? This can’t be happening!” Russell rambles desperately, as though he’s now aware of the danger he’s in.

“My heart is big; nyeow do you see? I don’t mind little distinctions like ‘boy’ or ‘girrrrrl.’ I can love them both equally.”

“Wow, Tiger Man. I seriously don’t get what it is you’re saying, but you’re creepy cool!”

“F-fine! I admit it, you win! I give up. I’ll go ahead and make water for you!” Russell suddenly admits defeat and offers to cooperate…

“Impressive, Tiger Man. The brat’s willing to cooperate.”

“Don’t be absurrrrd. It’s too late nyeow. No take-backs.”

“Wait! I give up! Please! I give up! S-stop…?!”

Tiger Man, who had been gripping the iron bars, yanks them out with his arms. The ruined remains of the bars land the floor near Russell’s feet.

Russell tries to back away, face locked in a twitching grimace. His voice is an octave higher than usual. “F-fine, I get it! I’ll defect to your side starting now! Combat Chimeras can be really useful!”

“Sorry, we’ve already got one of our own. It’ll be okay, Russell, I’m sure Tiger Man will take good care of you.”

Russell begins to cry, tears rolling down his cheeks and snot dribbling from his nostrils as he vigorously shakes his head from side to side.

“Nooo! NOOOOOOOO! This is wrong! So wrong! Please! Please let me make water for your kingdom! I’ll work hard every day! I promise!”

Alice lets out a dismissive snort at Russell’s pleading.

“Of course you’re going to make water. You rejected Six’s offer. You may belong to a different organization, but you still consider yourself a villain, right? In which case…”

“If you’re gonna resist, resist to the end. If you’re gonna betray your side, do it quick.”

As Alice and I offer our commentary, Tiger Man presses his face up close to Russell…!

“I guess I have no choice. I’ll let you get by with just crrross-dressing. Make sure you work harrrd on your waterrr making… Though for my parrrt, I wouldn’t mind if you slacked off a bit…”

Tiger Man breaks into a predatory grin.