CHAPTER 2

A Heroic Encounter?

1

The day after we somehow managed to escape the Cursed Forest.

“Screw that! I’m not going outside after that shit we dealt with yesterday! I’m holing up in the safety of Hideout City for a while!”

I’m in my room at Hideout City.

I am chewing Alice out after she insists we return to the Cursed Forest despite our experience yesterday.

“You were the one who reported finding a giant robot at the bottom of the lake. Remember, Lady Lilith brutalized the mechanical lizard known as the Forest King until it was beyond repair. There’s a pile of this planet’s technology at the bottom of the lake. There’s no way we can just let it sit there.”

Alice ignores my pleas and begins to tug insistently at my arm.

“Let go of me, shrimp. There’s plenty of others with time on their hands if you need protection! Since Vi erased my save data, I’m busy trying to get caught up on the game!”

I peel off Alice’s hands and try to shoo her away when she turns to me.

“If you don’t cooperate, I’ll erase your data when you get close to the end.”

“Stop threatening me with my save data, dammit! Seriously! Given how often you back up your data, you, of all people, should know how serious of a threat that is!”

As I’m busy arguing with the cold, unfeeling android, the door suddenly flies open.

“Hey, Six, what in the world have you done?! Her Highness is demanding your presence at the palace!”

Snow just starts yelling at me the moment she enters the room, but I don’t think she should be throwing around accusations just because Tillis summons us.

“Hell of a greeting there, Snow. Whatever she’s mad about, it’s not my fault. I still have plenty of Evil Points at the moment. Go interrogate the other Combat Agents.”

“So there’s no doubt the culprit is one of ours, hmm?”

Yeah, no doubt about that.

I arrive at the palace, essentially being marched along between Snow and Alice, and notice that the palace exterior was dramatically transformed in the short time I was away from it.

There are two additional moats around the palace, and there is some sort of magical item that looks like bells installed at regular intervals around the wall.

There are also more soldiers standing guard at the gates, giving the whole palace a more intimidating air.

As we are let into the palace, I crane my neck toward Snow and ask, “The defenses are a lot heavier now, what happened?”

“The defenses were reinforced because some pervert was sneaking into Her Highness’s bedroom every night. Lately, she’s been determined to make the pervert give up and has been doing everything in her power to discourage them from sneaking in.”

Ah, so Agent Ten’s still been sneaking into Tillis’s room.

I don’t get what’s driving the two of them to such extremes, but…

“Y’know, this is the sort of thing where the two of them start enjoying it and start thinking about the other as a romantic partner. While she might feel relief when Ten doesn’t manage to sneak into her room, she’ll start to feel like there’s something missing.”

“If you say that in front of Her Highness, she’ll demand your head on a spike.”

It was just as we arrived at the courtyard while chatting…

“Your Highness, it’s all right. We’re here to support you!”

“All of you, offer your prayers! Offer your prayers so Her Highness’s voice will reach the heavens…!”

“Your Highness, there’s not a person here who will laugh at you! Please, for the sake of the Grace Kingdom and its people! Please recite the holy prayer!”

Tillis stood with her eyes closed and hands clasped in prayer in front of the rain-making artifact. She was surrounded by countless ladies-in-waiting with tense expressions on their faces.

Then Tillis opened her eyes and called out the prayer in a booming voice…!

“Dick Festival!”

Tillis gave off an incredibly hallowed aura as she gazed intently at the machine…

“Hey, Alice, can you believe it? The girl over there yelling about dicks is the ruler of this kingdom.”

“I mean, it’s pretty embarrassing for a young woman, let alone a princess. I sure hope her parents don’t find out.”

“Hey, quiet! This is important! She was finally willing to say the prayer after intense pleading from her retainers!”

Tillis apparently heard our voices, and her expression shifts from determined to beet-red in the blink of an eye.

But it seems her voice didn’t reach the heavens, because the machine remains unresponsive.

Seeing this, Tillis places her head in her hands and ruminates.

“This isn’t enough people, I see… One of the activation conditions is to have many of our people in front of it, but how does this artifact recognize that there are lots of people around? Requiring that it be in front of the people would make sense if it takes magic from all the people present. Does that mean there isn’t currently enough magic in the area to power it…?”

“Hey, Snow, Tillis is trying to shrug off the fact that she just screamed ‘Dick Festival’ by mumbling some technobabble.”

“Shh, not so loud! She can hear us! Her Highness is trembling!”

Tillis is now red as a tomato and her shoulders are shaking, unable to ignore us any longer.

“Sir Six, thank you for coming. We’ve been expecting you…”

She smiles at us with her flushed face, but it isn’t just her shoulders that are trembling. There are noticeable tremors in her voice as well.

“Alice, did you record that scene?”

“Of course, it’s stored in my internal memory. I can record anything I see, after all.”

“I’m not quite sure what any of that means, but it can’t be good. Please stop!”

As the ladies-in-waiting try to do the tactful thing and leave, Tillis waves them off to the side and pleads with us.

“I mean, why did you say something so stupid anyway? If it’s about solving the kingdom’s water problem, didn’t we bring you a useful replacement?”

Yes, by capturing the Demon Lord’s Army’s Elite Four member Russell of the Water, the kingdom should have been regularly refilling its reservoirs…

“About that… There have been mounting concerns among the citizens… Apparently, it’s hard for people to watch such a frail girl use so much magic to create water for their sakes…”

But…Russell’s a boy.

Welp, that’s one unexpected consequence of Tiger Man forcing Russell to dress like a girl.

“<Hey, Alice, isn’t there some way to fix that machine’s password?>”

“<There should be if we reformat the machine. But it’s more fun to leave it as it is, don’t you think?>”

Yep, she’s an android made by an evil corporation all right. I agree that it’s more fun to leave it alone.

Tillis tilts her head in curiosity as Alice and I launch into an exchange in Japanese, but then seems happy to resume the conversation.

“Let’s set aside the water problem for now… No, there’s another reason I’ve called you in today. There have been reports of suspicious people lurking around in the city—”

According to Tillis, someone dressed in an outfit similar to power armor shows up at night and meddles in various affairs around town.

Up until now, Tillis and the kingdom looked the other way on our less-than-admirable activities because they are relatively harmless, but the more recent incidents have escalated to the point of being serious problems.

For example, someone recently attacked the orc farms in an attempt to free the orcs.

Also, someone revealed the source of the meat used by a certain skewer vendor and cut deeply into his sales.

There are countless other examples, in fact—too many to name—but they are all clearly different from the pranks that we’ve been pulling up to this point.

“That’s gotta be one of our Combat Agents. I take my eye off them for one second, and they lose their damn minds.”

“Sorry, Princess, we’ll take care of it on our end.”

As we immediately draw the conclusion that it’s one of our people, Tillis shakes her head.

“No, Sir Six, at first I thought it was someone from your organization, but… The armor that the suspect was wearing was white, not black. That’s why I wanted your help investigating this matter…”

At Tillis’s words, Alice and I exchange glances—

“There’s a traitor in our midst!”

The moment we return to Hideout City, we gather everyone in a room and I make the announcement.

Kisaragi Combat Agents aren’t allowed to wear power armor that isn’t black. It’s not that white itself is prohibited. Alice’s dress is white, and Spider Woman likes wearing white-silk outfits.

“You call us together and blindside us with this?! You’re the one who tagged along with the girl in the Hero squad when they made a pass at you!”

“Keep your delusional bullshit to yourself! You’re the sorry excuse for a Combat Agent who fled back to Hideout City after a single night out camping!”

“All of us are veteran agents of Kisaragi! None of would choose now, of all times, to turn traitor!”

“Besides, we all belong to an evil organization! Is betrayal really that big a deal?!”

Their arguments made me want to smack them one at a time, but I calmed myself before responding.

“It seems someone in white armor is going around causing problems in the city of Grace.”

At those words, everyone froze in shock.

Power armor had to be black.

This was something that was true for all evil organizations throughout human history.

It was tradition for the bad guys to wear black, and for us cannon fodder Combat Agents, it was our most distinguishing feature as well as our cherished sense of style.

“I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with betrayal. But we all know how important the color black is to our identity, don’t we? Remember how hard we fought when Lady Lilith tried to claim black as her color and change the power armor color because it overlapped with her title?!”

Yes, there was a time when Lilith said, “Black is the signature color of Lilith the Black. So I’m going to change the official power armor for Combat Agents to hot pink,” prompting all of us to take up arms and rise up in rebellion.

We united under the banner of outrage. Outrage at the idea of Combat Agents being forced to dress in hot pink, and outrage over the fact that this woman—whose real name was Yasuda—was using the moniker, “Lilith the Black.”

“Yeah, I remember that… That’s when you, Six, said, ‘If you’re afraid about the overlap, it’d be a lot cheaper to just change your name from Lilith the Black than change all the power armor.” We all called her Lady Yasuda for a while, didn’t we…?”

“Sure did. She ended up crying and begging us to stop calling her Yasuda when we were facing off against the Heroes.”

My colleagues think back on those days fondly. It was a reminder of just how important the color black was to us. It was something we had clawed back from Yasuda’s temper tantrum.

Which brings me to the question of why the hell she even calls herself Lilith the Black when she always dresses in a white lab coat.

As Alice watches the reaction of the Combat Agents, she nods to herself.

“Hey, Six, it doesn’t seem like they’re to blame.”

“But…Tillis did say the armor was similar to our power armor, right? Which means…”

I glance around at the agents, then decide to travel to visit a particular subordinate—

2

That night.

I’m pushing a wheelchair along as I stroll around the city of Grace’s nightlife district.

“…You’re such a bad boy, Commander. Using a mission as an excuse to take me on a date…”

Grimm, who is sitting in the wheelchair as I push her along, rambles nonsense as she smiles up at me.

I brought Grimm with me on patrol to look for the suspicious individual, but…

“What are you talking about? I keep telling you, we’re just doing a night patrol of the city.”

“Yes, yes, I know, I know. Boys do want to show off, after all. You need a reason to take a girl on a date… That’s it, right?” Grimm says cheerfully and chuckles, but no, she’s wrong.

The reason I brought her along is because she’s competent at night, and because life in the city has settled down, and we’re done passing out food to the demons, and she’s just collecting a free salary, so she needs to earn her keep.

The other Combat Agents are busy either exterminating monsters around Hideout City or heading back to scout Toris.

Viper is occupied with an enormous amount of paperwork and is managing all the demons.

What’s most surprising is Snow, who has been calling herself the Deputy Lord of the City, has started negotiating with the merchants of the city of Grace and has been pretty useful in doing things like securing supplies for cheap.

And Alice has taken Rose as her bodyguard as she goes to check on the giant robot at the bottom of the lake.

Which means that Grimm was the only one left, and she’s lazily collecting pay without doing much of anything.

“So where are we patrolling? How about a bar with a nice, mellow atmosphere? There’s also a park up ahead that’s usually deserted, but it’s a bit early for that. First, we need to set the mood with some light conversation. Then we can go to the park after we’ve had a few drinks and I’m a little tipsy. Girls need a reason to tag along with you, after all.”

What the hell is this deadbeat talking about?

“I’ve already got our first destination planned out. We’re going to turn that corner and head to the slums.”

Hearing that, Grimm lets out a dry chuckle as though in faint exasperation.

“There’s plenty of scary men hanging around that area, so if you take a pretty girl like me, you’ll definitely stir up some trouble… Tsk, you and I have known each other for a while, you know… What’s it called? Misattribution of arousal? There’s no need to set up that sort of charade. I know you’re a man I can depend on, Commander.”

Grimm continues rambling as she winks up at me.

“…Commander. Hey, Commander. Mind if I ask you something?”

Having arrived at the slums, we are wandering around looking for the suspicious individual.

Grimm looks up at me with a serious face as I push her wheelchair.

“What is it?” I reply to Grimm while directing an intimidating glance at the thugs in the slums…

“…Is this really for work?”

“…? That’s what I’ve been saying from the start. There’s a suspicious person that’s been showing up around here lately.”

At my nod, Grimm suddenly starts throwing a tantrum.

“Whaaaaaaat?! You asshole! You got me all excited for this?! Why did you only invite me, then?! And why did you choose the nighttime to take me out?

“The reason I brought just you along was because you’re the only one who wasn’t doing anything important. As for why we’re doing this at night, it’s because you’re useless during the day.”

“Don’t use logic on me! You, over there! Can’t you see that there’s a beautiful woman sitting right in front of you? Why aren’t you sticking your nose into our business?!”

As Grimm finally goes so far as to rope bystanders into her nonsense, the men dressed like thugs standing around suddenly start glancing away to avoid getting involved.

“Just so you’re aware, the thugs that frequent this area won’t pick fights with me. I made sure to show them who’s boss a while back. That’s just business as usual for an evil organization member.”

“What an awful thing to do! You’re the thug here, Commander, not them! …Wait, come to think of it, at the bars I’ve been visiting lately, most people avoid eye contact with me. Is that because—?”

“They probably think you’re one of us.”

“Ahhhhhhh! Nooooooooooo!”

Bawling her eyes out, Grimm tries to wheel herself away from me, but I make sure to hold her firmly in place.

“You’re a proper member of Kisaragi now. It’s too late for you to get away. While we happily accept all newcomers with open arms, no one’s allowed to leave!”

“You never told me that! You never mentioned that at all! It’s bad enough that I’m woefully single, but now everyone looks at me like I’m undesirable!”

I’m pretty sure worshipping a dark god already made you plenty undesirable.

“Pipe down and get over here! You already accepted the payment, so I’m gonna make you work it off with your body!”

“At least phrase it differently! You make it sound like you’re about to do something lewd to me!”

I just meant that she needs to earn her keep, but it doesn’t sound like a joke when she says it.

As I attempt to forcefully wheel Grimm away…

“That’s enough!”

…an oddly spirited voice that feels out of place in the unhealthy slums echoes across the alley.

When I turn in the direction of the voice, there is a slender black-haired beauty standing on a ramshackle hut that looks on the verge of collapse.

Since the white-armored woman is glaring straight at me, I can only assume I’m the one she’s talking to.

She seems indignant as she lays eyes on the teary-eyed Grimm, and she points an accusatory finger at me.

“I’m Adelheid Krueger, the Umbral Savior! I’m the arbitrator assigned to determine if this kingdom should be left alone or brought under our management! As I’m currently on assignment, I probably shouldn’t get involved, but…”

At a glance, she seems like a calm, collected beauty with sharp, aggressive features. However, her booming voice and the hatred burning in her eyes quickly shatters that image.

In the next moment, Adelheid…

“You worthless villain! Trying to kidnap a defenseless woman in a wheelchair, are you?! If I let you go, I’d be failing my mission to manage this world…! Now, release that—”

…collapses along with the hut as I bring it crashing it down with a single kick.

3

And so, I capture the weird woman who falls off the roof and proceeds to writhe around on the ground in pain.

“Who the hell is this woman…?”

“She really did seem intent on saving me. What a pity. I guess I’ll give her an A for effort. Alas, if she’d been a man, I might have ended up betraying the Commander by accident.”

Since Grimm seems intent on spouting more nonsense, I ignore her and survey the hog-tied woman lying on the ground.

Her white armor is definitely closer to our power armor than the standard armor.

“Urgh… Damn it all… I, an ally of justice, will never bend to evil!” says the weird woman as she squirms along the ground.

She definitely has Crazy! Do not interact! written all over her.

“Commander, what is it? …Ah-ha, I bet you’re thinking dirty thoughts because she’s a woman, aren’t you? You naughty boy. You can’t go around seducing another woman while you’re on a date…”

“I keep telling you, we’re on a mission, not a date. I’m pretty sure she’s the suspicious person we’re here to find.”

I set aside the crazy spinster who’s pouting despite her age and kneel in front of the new woman.

“…Now. What did you say your name was? I had something I wanted to ask you.”

“I’m Adelheid Krueger, the Umbral Savior! My friends call me Adelie! But I have no intention of answering any questions from you, villain!”

…Shit. My Don’t-Get-Involved alarm is going crazy.

Usually, interrogating a beautiful woman is a great opportunity to earn tons of Evil Points and get away with sexual harassment, but…

I shove all my internal struggles aside and just ask her directly, “Hey, Adelie… Do you know what a Hero is?”

Yes, she has the same air as the superheroes I’d fought countless intense battles with on Earth.

“…Who’s this Hiro you’re talking about? …Oops! I’m not telling you anything, villain! Also, Adelie is a nickname reserved for friends, so don’t call me that!”

Given that she seems sincere in her response, does that mean she’s unrelated to the Heroes from Earth?

I figured someone this uptight and uncooperative would be someone associated with the Heroes for sure, but…

“Hey, Ms. Adelheid, you mentioned something about justice, didn’t you? Meaning you fight for what’s right, and all that?”

“Yes, I’m an ally of justice… Also, I don’t like being called Adelheid. It’s not very cute. I guess you can call me Adelie.”

Adelie speaks casually as she lies on the ground, and I can’t really be certain that she’s the suspicious individual going around causing trouble.

“I’m Combat Agent Six. This is Grimm. We’re currently patrolling this area looking for a suspicious individual who’s been causing problems for this city…”

“…Oh, so you know the woman in the wheelchair?”

At that question, I explain the reasons behind my little to-do with Grimm earlier.

Having heard that, Adelie lets out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank goodness. So there wasn’t some innocent woman being kidnapped by a villain. Mr. Agentsix, I’m sorry for insulting you by calling you a villain. I had no idea you are also a warrior for justice trying to keep the peace. I mistook you for the villains in black who, according to rumors, have been engaging in heinous acts around the city.”

I have a good idea of who she is talking about, but I decide to keep quiet.

At this point, Adelie opens her eyes and declares, “This must be fate! I, Adelie, will assist you in your quest to find this suspicious person!”

“I’m pretty sure it’s you, though.”

“Hey, Commander. As the Archbishop of Zenarith, I’m giving you a warning. You really shouldn’t get involved with this person.”

At my accusation of her meddling, Adelie squirms and protests.

“I’m not a suspicious person, oh ally of justice! If you’re patrolling the city to keep the peace, then we’re on the same side!”

“What do you mean, we’re on the same side? This country’s peace is kept by the police and us Combat Agents. Do you have permission to be doing any of this?”

“There’s no need for an ally of justice to get permission to keep the peace. Of course I haven’t asked for permission!”

“Hey, Commander, it’s not too late. I really think it’s better to avoid getting involved with this person.”

I mean, sure, I’d prefer not to deal with her, too, but I need to make sure…

“Hey, you. Did you attack one of the kingdom’s farms recently?”

“I did attack an evil farm that was using orcs as slave labor, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

No, I’m still not sure she’s the one.

“I also heard a meat-skewer vendor’s having a lot of trouble because his sales tanked after having the source of his main ingredient leaked. Might you have any idea what I’m talking about?”

“I did report a stall vendor that was using meat from a source so foul I can’t say it out loud, but I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

W-wait, no… I’m still not sure she’s the one.

“Hey, Ms. Adelie, could you tell me more about your good deeds?”

“Well, there was an innocent maid girl at the reservoir being forced to endlessly create water, so I started a protest to rally the people against her heinous treatment.”

“So you are the suspicious person!” I can’t help but comment and hoist the hog-tied woman to my shoulder.

“N-now hold on, citizen! I was just doing what justice demands! What are you planning to do to me?!”

Well of course, I’m going to—

“N-no, you can’t, Commander! You’re planning to do pervy things to her by using the excuse that you’re interrogating her, aren’t you?! Just like when you captured Heine of the Demon Lord’s Army’s Elite Four!”

No, I’m just going to turn her over to the authorities.

“Wh-what?! Don’t do that, oh ally of justice! That’s something evildoers do! Of course, I understand why you’d be tempted, since I’m well-known among my comrades for being super-beautiful, but…”

“You obnoxious tart, coming out of nowhere to steal the Commander! I mean, the Commander said he’d be willing to do pervy things to me if I wasn’t a clingy follower of Zenarith or if I was okay with him not taking any responsibility!”

Yup, my instincts are right.

Since I now have two crazy women on my hands, I need to get rid of one ASAP.

“Ally of justice, where do you plan on taking me?! While I do think we would have pretty good chemistry since you keep the peace of this city night and day, we’ve only just met and—”

“You don’t plan on going to the meeting motel, do you?! Hey, Commander, it’d be the lowest of the low for you to do that with another woman while on a date with me!! Pick me, not this random intruder! I’ve been with you for so much longer!”

Maybe I should just turn both of them in…

“We’re heading to the police department.”

At that, Adelie stops squirming.

“…If you don’t mind, could you please tell me why you’re going there?”

“To hand you off to them.”

Hearing that, Adelie begins to squirm against my shoulder.

“No, not the police! Please wait! Let’s talk about this!”

“Quiet! You’re bad news, I just know it!”

Ordinarily, for an evil organization like us, trouble should be a good thing.

We can dive headfirst into the trouble and turn things to our advantage through complaints.

Then we can demand things like restitution and damages to line our pockets.

But her…

“Hey, Commander, you’re weirdly calm today. I figured you were going to sexually harass or bully her by using the interrogation as an excuse,” Grimm whispers to me quietly, ignoring Adelie, who is pitching a fit while slung over my shoulder.

“I have the right to choose who I harass, y’know. For some reason, this girl’s just not doing it for me…”

No, that’s not right.

“To be blunt, I think she’s extremely annoying.”

“I heard that! You’re pretty rude, you know!”

4

The day after I hand the weird woman over to the police.

“You look tired, Mr. Six. Did you run into trouble last night?”

“And then some. Because that crazy woman treated me like a fellow ally of justice and threw a tantrum, it made things really annoying at the police station. Then when I tried to go home after, Grimm decided to get all clingy. So in the end, I wound up drinking at the bar with her until dawn.”

As I lie around Viper’s office as usual, I swallow a yawn and complain about last night.

“So who was the suspicious woman you captured?”

“I’m not entirely sure. In many ways, she reminded me of a Hero, but…”

I left her to the police because I didn’t want anything to do with her, but I still wonder what her deal was.

“I did learn a bit about them in my Kisaragi training, but just what sort of people are Heroes?”

Heroes, huh…?

Well, for starters, they’re people who’re convinced beyond a doubt that they’re always in the right. They have zero intention of seeing things from anyone else’s point of view. Also, they shout a lot.

And while they go around talking about how much they love peace, I’ve never seen them try to resolve anything through negotiation instead of launching straight into battle.

They are usually jocks who lean on tired old clichés about how justice can overcome any challenge, and they’re pretty much all a bunch of pretentious blowhards.

…But to be honest, I’d much rather be a Hero than an agent for an evil organization.

But when I was just starting out as a Combat Agent, I was recruited by the Pink Hero in the something squad, and I sat through some superhero training.

They would have Hero shows at the amusement parks on Sundays, and they would teach little kids that Heroes always fight for what’s right. They would tell them things like, Your support is what helps us win! and show their appreciation by selling cheap plastic knockoffs of Hero equipment as a way for the kids to become Heroes themselves. They would then use that money to fund their activities.

Needless to say, reality was a slap in the face. But for me, the final straw was the fact that the pink lady who recruited me wouldn’t even do anything sexy with me.

Yep, apparently anything eighteen plus is completely off the table for Heroes because kids look up to them.

With that thought, I look intently at Viper, who always listens to what others have to say and is very much a pacifist at heart.

“To put it simply, they’re the exact opposite of you, my dear, sexy Vi.”

“S-sexy?! Y-you really think I’m sexy?!”

While Viper usually wears her Demon Lord outfit at the office, her Snake Woman costume is a feast for the eyes.

“Well, Vi, you’ve got the sexy appearance down, but you’re also pretty lewd on the inside, too. I mean, up until recently, you kept offering your body as part of your restitution, remember?”

“P-please forget about that! …Um, b-but am I really that sexy looking? …Well, as a member of an evil organization, I suppose I should strive to be sexy…”

I’m having fun teasing the flustered Viper when the office door flies open. It’s Heine, all worked up about something as usual.

“All right, I’ve decided! From this day forth, I’ll muster up the courage to go without underwear!”

“That’s admirable, but I think you should still wear panties, Vi.”

“…Lady Viper, what’s happened to you since becoming a mutant? Are you trying to cause problems for me?”

“Vi’s evolving every day. If you’re not careful, she’ll steal your identity as the sexiest member!”

And right on cue, Heine starts to bawl.

“I already have an identity as the fire user, dammit! Lady Viper, if you keep interacting with this man, his stupidity will rub off on you! You should ban him from this room!”

Heine is being extraordinarily rude after her sudden appearance and I start to wonder why the hell she’s even here.

“Having Mr. Six here provides welcome distraction from my work, so banning him would be a bit too harsh… At any rate, you seem to be in a panic, Heine. What’s going on?”

“O-oh, that’s right! Russell is…!”

Heine leads us to the city of Grace’s reservoir. There, Russell (in his maid outfit) is being accosted by the weird woman.

“L-like I keep trying to tell you, I’m doing this job because I want to! Who the hell are you anyway?! Just leave me alone already!”

“No, they’re taking advantage of you! As an ally of justice, I can’t stand idly by as a child is exploited! Now come with me. I’ll take you somewhere safe.”

The one trying to help Russell—who clearly doesn’t want to be helped—is none other than Adelie.

“Graaah! You pervert! We caught you red-handed trying to kidnap a minor!”

“What are you planning to do with Russell, you molester?!”

“Whaaaaaat?! Wh-what’s going on?! …Ohhh, you’re the man from yesterday!” Adelie yells at me the moment she sees me. “How dare you call me—an ally of justice—a pervert! I’m Adelheid Kreuger, the Umbral—”

“You’re being arrested for trying to kidnap a minor with the intention of molesting him. To try to molest a minor! You’re beyond saving, you pervert!”

I interrupt Adelie before she can finish and verbally describe her crimes. As a Combat Agent tasked with keeping the peace, I have the authority to arrest people at times like this. As a bad guy, I am the one committing the crimes more often than not. But they’re all harmless crimes, so let’s just write them off as added bits of character.

“H-h-hold on! I had no intention of molesting—! W-wait, ‘h-him’? What are you talking about?!”

Having confirmed that I have Adelie firmly subdued, Heine goes to hug Russell.

“Russell, are you all right? I heard a weird woman was harassing you, so I came as quickly as I could…”

“Thanks for the help, Heine. Since I’m still under supervision in this kingdom, I can’t counterattack when someone’s harassing me.”

As former members of the Demon Lord’s Army’s Elite Four, both Heine and Russell are still operating under certain restrictions.

Russell will get in trouble if he attacks a citizen of the Grace Kingdom, even if they are a pervert trying to accost a young boy.

Which means…

“You fiend! I can’t believe you would try to take advantage of a minor while fully aware that he couldn’t fight back! You can make your excuses behind bars!”

“Wait, I really had no intention of molesting him…! Besides, what the heck is wrong with your eyes? There’s no way such a cute child is a boy!”

“What’s wrong with your eyes? Of course a child this cute isn’t a girl!”

“?!?!?!”

A confused Adelie looks to Russell for help, but…

“He’s right. Despite what I’m wearing, I’m a boy. And please allow me to clarify that I’m not dressed this way by choice.”

“I don’t understand this at all! Why are you dressed like that if you don’t want to be?!”

As Adelie’s confusion deepens, Heine angrily lashes out at her.

“Who cares about how Russell is dressed?! The problem is the fact that you were trying to take a young boy to some ‘safe’ place!”

“Wait! Phrasing! That makes me sound like a really heinous criminal!”

“That’s what we’re saying. You are a heinous criminal. Hey! Don’t resist! Hey, Heine, help me hold her down.”

“Tch, she’s strong for a human…”

“Noooooooo! I’m an ally of justice! I’m a servant of the god of law and order! Why am I getting arrested two days in a row?!”

Adelie’s words give me pause, even as she bawls and squirms.

“You know, you were going on about justice or whatever yesterday, but you’re being even weirder today. What do you mean by ‘servant of the god of law and order’?”

“I mean exactly what I said! I’ve been sent as a bringer of law and order to save the ruined world and the people teetering on the brink of destruction!”

As Adelie announces her status with a smug smirk, Heine smacks her across the face.

“You?! A servant of law and order? An ally of justice?! How dare you! You’re the type of hypocrite that I hate more than anything else!”

“How dare you slap an ally of justice, you exhibitionist! You’re dressed like a Demon Lord’s concubine! Have you no shame?!”

“You…! You’re calling me an exhibitionist despite meeting me for the first time?! Also, this may no longer be the case, but I was definitely one of the Demon Lord’s Elite Four at one point! Don’t be so prejudiced! Are you asking for an ass-kicking?!”

Heine bares her teeth and glares at Adelie, probably because she’s a demon. It’s only natural, though. It would be weird to expect god-fearing allies of justice to get along with demons.

It is at that moment—

Adelie lets out a sharp breath and rips away the rope that’s been restraining her.

…Wait, seriously?! That rope is reinforced with steel wire!

“What the?!”

The moment that Adelie, now free, lashes out at the shocked Heine…

…Viper blocks Adelie’s punch, protecting Heine, who threw up her hands to try to protect her face.

“Lady Viper!”

Adelie, ignoring Heine’s tearful words of appreciation to Viper, glares at Viper with grim determination.

“…Step aside. Even a former member of the Demon Lord’s Army’s elite should be exterminated in the name of justice!”

“…I don’t know what the Demon Lord has done to earn your hatred, but Heine has been sentenced to servitude and is in the process of atoning for her crimes. I cannot simply let you kill her.”

Intimidated as she is by Adelie’s grim expression, Viper holds her ground and looks her straight in the eye.

As the two face off, Heine and Russell prepare to offer their aid to Viper.

I circle around behind Adelie and drop into a stance so that I can restrain her at any moment…

“I have nothing against her, but the Demon Lord’s Army needs to be wiped out! That’s what god intended! …But wait, why is one of the leaders of the Demon Lord’s Army still alive?! What’s the Chosen One doing? Once the Elite Four of the Demon Lord’s Army was defeated, the barrier protecting the Demon Lord’s castle would collapse and the Chosen One would slay the Demon Lord and bring peace to humanity… That should have been the prophecy passed down to this kingdom.”

I don’t have a clue what Adelie’s saying, but that does remind me—Oh, right, there was a Chosen One or whatever, wasn’t there?

Wait, does she think the Chosen One killed the Demon Lord as prophesized?

She’s pretty fixated on justice and stuff. Is she a Chosen One fangirl or something?

“The Chosen One’s been missing for a long time! We were beaten by that man standing behind you. I know about the Prophecy of the Chosen One. But too bad for you, that old fairy tale turned out to be fake! Hah, sucks to be you!”

As Heine taunts Adelie while standing behind Viper like a kid on a playground, Adelie’s face contorts in confusion.

“Hey, Agentsix, is that true? You, and not the Chosen One, defeated the Demon Lord’s Army?”

“Yup, that’s true. Though the one who dealt the final blow was my boss, not me.”

Thanks to Lilith completely ignoring the tropes and just bombing the Demon Lord’s Army, the army collapsed and the previous Demon Lord was killed.

And the Demon Lord’s Army has been absorbed by Kisaragi, and that’s where we are now…

“While I’d like to praise you for doing the right thing and dismantling the Demon Lord’s Army, this is all a bit of a problem. We’re getting further and further from the divine revelation…”

“You keep going on about prophecies and divine revelations, but just what the hell are you anyway? You’ve been a serious pain in my ass the last couple of days. If you wanna play Hero or Chosen One, go do it somewhere else.”

Adelie becomes lost in thought, and Heine suddenly holds her hand out in front of her.

“The hell are you muttering about after attacking someone?! This is a fight you started. You better be prepared for us to fight back!”

Nice job hiding behind Viper until your opponent lets her guard down and then taking the opportunity to attack, Heine! That’s a move worthy of a former member of the Demon Lord’s Army’s elites.

But Adelie seems completely unmoved and puts out her hand to swat away Heine’s fireball.

“We’ve already accounted for your abilities. No matter how hard you demons try, you can’t—Owww, shooooot!”

Adelie lets out a scream as her hand is engulfed in flames.

After desperately smacking her palm against the ground and somehow putting out the residual flames, Adelie looks up with a smirk even as tears fill her eyes.

“…We’ve already accounted for your abilities. No matter how hard you demons try, you won’t be able to harm me with the sorcerer stones at your disposal.”

“Hey, Heine, go full blast with your next one.”

“Yep, got it. I’ll show you my true power.”

Since Heine appears willing to play along with my proposal, Adelie hurriedly backs up.

“H-hold up! Something’s wrong here! This is way more firepower than a demon should be able to produce! First the prophecies are wrong and now this… What’s going on in this world…?”

She’s saying something about the sorcerer stones at the demons’ disposal, but I’m pretty sure Heine’s current stone was taken from a dragon.

As Adelie mutters to herself, Viper gently approaches her and takes Adelie’s burned hand in her own.

“Wh-what?! Y-you wanna fight?! Fine. If I use my full power—”

“In the name of the Goddess of Time, thy wounds be healed!”

Just as Adelie tries to pick a fight with Viper, the burn on her hand heals as though time is being reversed.

Ignoring Adelie’s stunned silence, Viper turns to Russell.

“Russell, can you use your water magic to soothe her burns?”

“You’re too soft, Viper…,” Russell says fondly as he begins to cool Adelie’s wounds. Adelie can only stand and stare in muted shock.

Heine scratches her cheek awkwardly.

“While I do not know who you are, I understand that you view demons as your enemies. However, Heine and Russell are currently atoning for the crimes they committed as members of the Elite Four. Won’t you please leave them be and watch over them instead?”

At Viper’s sincere plea, Adelie joins Heine in awkwardly scratching at her cheek.

“…It seems I acted rashly. But since I’m an ally of justice, I can’t just pretend I didn’t see survivors from the Demon Lord’s Army leadership. So…I’ll ask that you prove that you’re not evil. Here, do you know what this crystal ball is?”

With that, Adelie produces a plain-looking crystal ball.

I know at once what it is.

Heine and Russell visibly pale when they see the crystal ball.

Based on their reactions, I know that my guess is right.

“This is a karma-measuring crystal that reads a person’s soul. The purer the soul, the whiter it glows. And the more corrupted and evil the soul, the blacker it becomes. For example, in my case…”

With that, Adelie closes her eyes and grasps the crystal ball, which emits a white light.

“…Phew. As you can see, that’s how it works. You don’t have to be as pure as I am. Just prove to me that you’re not evil!”

Adelie wears a look of triumph as she speaks. Personally, I don’t see how this can end well. It’s one of those fantasy tropes that uses magic to check if someone is a bad guy or not. There’s no way it isn’t. This kinda thing pops up all the time in isekai anime.

“Well, shoot. I’ll be fine, given how pure and righteous I am. But the crystal’s gonna be jet-black for you two, I bet.”

“I-I-I’m not as big a villain as you are! At least, I don’t think I am! If we’re talking villains, Russell used to treat enemies like toys! He’d berate and torture them…”

“H-hold on, Heine… I was just doing my job…! Besides, you’re the aggressive battle junkie that picks fights with everyone! I bet you’re in more trouble here!”

As we exchange heated whispers, Adelie eyes us with suspicion.

Russell glances briefly at her and purses his lips before continuing.

“Besides, we’ve been pardoned by this kingdom’s princess. No one else gets to decide whether we former Elite Four are evil or whatever. Hey, is that woman even strong? We’ve got the advantage of numbers, so why don’t we…”

As Russell smirks, Heine and I draw back.

“Look at that, Heine. That’s pure evil right there. And at his age, too! What a monster!”

“R-Russell…”

“N-no…! C’mon, it’s her fault, not ours! I was just doing my job! And yet she tried to kidnap me, then attacked us when we stopped her! By the laws of this country, I’m pretty sure she’d be the guilty party!”

Just as Heine and I are sent reeling by the depths of Russell’s dark heart…

“I’m their superior. So perhaps we can settle this matter by having me tested as their representative?”

With that, Viper takes hold of the crystal Adelie is holding out.

But…

“No can do. As an ally of justice, I can’t let a single evildoer go…”

“I have a responsibility to protect them. And…”

Viper cuts Adelie off before she can finish voicing her objections.

“…My name is Viper. I am the last of the Demon Lords as well as a Supreme Leader within the Kisaragi Corporation. As a former Demon Lord, my head will surely be the most valuable thing you can take to your superiors.”

Viper speaks flatly, not as my superior the mutant Snake Woman but with the authority only a former Demon Lord can muster.

“D-Demon Lord?! If that’s true, then you alone might be… Huh?”

Adelie backs away as though intimidated by Viper. But then she stops midstride as if she intends to watch events unfold to the very end. Then she freezes.

“Vi… Vi! That crystal’s shining really brightly.”

“It’s not just bright, it’s definitely brighter and whiter than when that other lady was holding it.”

“Amazing, Lady Viper! To make it shine brighter than a self-proclaimed ally of justice! This makes it hard to tell which one’s the evildoer here, doesn’t it?!”

The crystal ball in Viper’s hand shines brightly, emitting a pure-white glow that almost hurts to look at.

Adelie freezes in place, staring at the crystal ball in horror.

“Ah—Umm… What should I do in this scenario…?” asks Viper in a troubled voice. She clearly wasn’t expecting this outcome. The question brings Adelie back to her senses.

“E-e-errrm, w-w-w-well! Um? I wasn’t going to let you go if it shone only a little bit… But, um, it seems to be shining about as brightly as it did for me, so? I might be willing to accept that you’re someone on the side of good and justice, maybe, sorta…”

As Adelie keeps stalling to avoid admitting her defeat, the two former members of the Demon Lord start stage-whispering to each other.

“Hey, Heine, listen to what she’s saying. Maybe we should make her hold the crystal ball again. I bet it won’t shine as brightly, given how much of a sore loser she is.”

“Hey, Russell, does this mean her soul’s more corrupted than a Demon Lord’s? Is she really allowed to keep calling herself an ally of justice?”

Upon hearing this, Adelie’s brow becomes drenched with sweat and she points at Viper.

“You’re quite impressive, citizen! All right, I’ll let you go this time! But next time, I’ll reveal your true character! That’ll be—”

Just as Adelie tries to leave a parting shot, someone taps her on the shoulder.

“Excuse me, miss, do you have a moment? You’re the person who spent the night in our jail, aren’t you? You promised you wouldn’t cause any more problems when we let you go this morning, so what’s all this about?”

The one who taps Adelie on the shoulder is the policewoman I’ve come to know pretty well. She’s the one who’s always getting into fights with Grimm. It seems she’s out on patrol.

The color drains from Adelie’s face, and she stops dead in her tracks as even more sweat beads on her brow.

“I-i-i-it’s not what you think! I’m dealing with villains as an ally of justice…”

“That’s my job. Also, this reservoir is an important facility for this kingdom, so what are you doing here?”

The ally of justice, upon being interrogated by a police officer, looks at us pleadingly. Then the policewoman also turns her attention our way.

“She tried to kidnap me. She said I shouldn’t be here.”

“She tried to kill me when I attempted to stop her from kidnapping Russell, using the excuse that I used to be part of the Demon Lord’s Army…”

“Thank you for your hard work, officer. We’ll hand over this suspicious woman to you, so please give her a good talking-to at the station.”

At our statement, the policewoman puts Adelie in handcuffs.

“Wait! Hold on! I’m an ally of justice! I was just trying to defeat the Demon Lord’s Elite Four!”

“Yes, yes. I’ll listen to your excuses at the station. Given that you were let out yesterday on the promise of good behavior, you’re not getting out again for a while—”

As I watch Adelie get hauled off in tears…

…I find myself embarrassed that I ever suspected her of being a Hero.

[Status Report]

We found the remains of a giant robot while exploring a lake near Hideout City.

Alice won’t shut up about trying to retrieve it, which made me wonder if you really did program her with the Three Laws of Robotics.

She’s super rebellious from time to time, and it seems like she doesn’t care one ounce about human life.

I mean, just the other day she asked me for a blood sample. She was going on about cloning me just in case I died.

Oh, that reminds me, I ran into a weird woman while on patrol at night with Grimm.

There’s already one odd woman who prowls the alley at night and happily goes along with my harassment, but this was a completely different person.

Her strangeness is on the level of the Supreme Leaders, so I would like to introduce you to her the next time one of you visits this planet.

But she keeps going on about justice this, justice that, so I’m not sure if I should get too involved with her.

I’ll provide additional intel on this weirdo some other time.

Reporting Operative:

Combat Agent Six