FINAL CHAPTER

The Villains Strike Back!

1

According to Alice, the counterattack operation will take some planning, so we’re waiting around while she makes preparations.

I don’t know what she’s cooking up, but I trust her brains.

“…which is why we’re gonna head over to Toris for a bit, Vi. I’m sure you’ll be lonely without me, but I’ll let you borrow my video game, so you can just relax and have fun, okay?”

We’re in Viper’s personal room in Hideout City. I finish explaining the situation to her as she lies in bed while I peel an apple.

“I’m thankful for the game, but please take me with you. I feel much better now. I’m sorry for worrying you…”

I push the plate of apple slices to Viper as she tries to sit up.

“Alice mentioned that you would definitely say that, so she said she was gonna mix a special concoction that would knock you out before we leave. Vi, if I happen across you while you’re totally helpless, you know what’s gonna happen, right?”

“I—I understand. I’ll stay and keep watch, so please don’t drug me! …Oh, the shape of these fruit slices is very cute. Are you fond of mokemokes, Mr. Six?”

For my part, I had intended to make them look like rabbits, but now that I look at ’em, they’re totally mokemokes.

As I start to peel a second apple, determined to make the slices look like rabbits this time, there’s a knock on the door.

“Lady Viper, I’ve come to check in on you… Ah, Six, quit killing time in Lady Viper’s bedroom! I’m starting to worry that you’re becoming too much of a bad influence on her!”

“…Heine’s right, Six. The more time Viper spends with you, the more flawed she becomes. Viper is the beacon of hope for all demonkind, so please don’t corrupt her.”

The two former members of the Elite Four are standing outside the door.

“Well, well, you two are awfully mouthy for servants.”

Currently, Heine and Russell are using their abilities to provide electricity to the Destroyer and Hideout City.

Since Russell is no longer needed in Grace due to the flood of water crystals on the market, we hurriedly constructed a reservoir with a hydroelectric power plant near our settlement.

Alice is extremely pleased that we have another green energy source.

“U-um, have I really changed all that much since I’ve started interacting with Mr. Six…?”

“Yes, Vi. You’re not as reserved as you used to be, and you’ve let your guard down in a number of ways, making you more gullible than ever. As adorable as it may seem, you’ve dumbed yourself down.”

…Viper’s eyes well with tears, and she curls up beneath her blanket. Heine and Russell crane their necks and beckon me over with a look.

I play along and approach them, and they speak in a whisper.

“You’re gonna go after the bastards who hurt Lady Viper, right? Take me with you. I’m still a former member of the Elite Four. I can’t let them get away with what they did to her!”

“In the last skirmish, someone choked me out, so I wasn’t able to do anything. This time, I’m going to show you why I was made a member of the Elite Four in the first place.”

Looks like they wanna get revenge for Viper, too.

“I don’t mind taking you with me, but…what are you two doing sneaking over there?”

Grimm and Rose are eavesdropping on my conversation with Heine and Russell from the other side of the door.

I guess they thought they were hidden, and they step out a bit awkwardly…”

“Commander, I heard that the home-wrecker that was so friendly with you had gotten hurt, so I was here to laugh at her! What a lovely sight! Let this be a lesson to her for trying to steal another woman’s man!”

Grimm’s lips curl up into a nasty grin as Heine and Russell grit their teeth and glare at her. Just then, Rose chimes in.

“…Liaaaar! You were the one who proposed checking up on her, Grimm. Besides, you were feeling guilty about missing the last fight because you died in a stupid way and took time to get resurrected… He—Oww! Ow! Ow!”

“Ohhh, you need to watch that mouth of yours! If you can’t keep it shut, I’ll have to shut it for you! But yes, since that home-wrecker is good at her job, I was just worried about what would happen to our work schedules! After all, if she got badly hurt, it’d really slow us down! …What? Quit staring. I’ll leave your get-well-soon gift here, so you better appreciate it!”

Grimm and Viper are both beet-red as Grimm plays the tsundere role to perfection.

When Grimm died most recently, it seemed to be for an especially reckless reason, but we’re finally able to find out what happened.

Apparently, she found out I had met another young woman, and with her home-wrecker alarm blaring, she attempted to put a curse on Adelie.

She collapsed in the middle of her ritual, and the next time she opened her eyes, she had just been revived again.

But according to Grimm, she hadn’t performed a curse strong enough to kill…

It is at this moment…

“Oh, there you are, Russell. I was looking for you. I’m giving you an important job in our fight against Hiiragi. Once you’re done with it, you can go ahead and relax.”

…Alice shows up to join the throng of guests in Viper’s room.

“H-hold on a sec, Alice! I want to go with everyone else! Is it a job only I can do? If anyone else can do it, please ask them!”

Russell is putting up more of a fuss than usual. He must really want to get his revenge with the rest of us.

“Well, I just wanted you to pilot Mr. Mogero, but I guess I could just get Rose to do it…,” murmurs Alice with a tilt of her head.

It is only recently that we figured out how to control the giant mole-shaped robot dubbed Mr. Mogero by Alice.

To be more precise, Russell just flat-out told us how to do it.

It’s not so strange that he knows how to operate it. He once operated a giant robot he found in an ancient ruin, after all. But Alice, who spent countless hours trying to figure out how to activate Mr. Mogero, chewed him out for not speaking up sooner.

“See? It was just as I said. These giant robots won’t function for just anyone. They’re super picky with their pilots. This means Mr. Mogero’s type is a pretty young girl who’s still a little childish. I’m guessing Russell was able to pilot Mr. Mogero because it thought he fit the criteria.”

“This isn’t a manga or video game, of course that’s not why. If he likes pretty young girls, then there’s no way he wouldn’t activate with me at the controls… I bet the same people who created Rose and Russell are the ones who built Mr. Mogero. They probably have a biometric security system triggered by DNA or something to keep anyone but allies from using him.”

We discover that Mr. Mogero will activate if we shove someone related to him into the cockpit.

Well, if the theory that he reacts to pretty girls is wrong…

“I understand why he reacted to Rose and Russell, since both of them are abandoned products of ancient scientists, but why did he react to Vi?”

“This planet’s Demon Lords must have been tasked by the scientists who left the tech behind with managing this planet’s technology, thus granting them the authority to activate the O-Parts. Because of Lady Lilith’s screwup, it’ll forever remain a mystery, but seeing as things never work out conveniently for us, that’s pretty par for the course.”

I have trouble with complicated subjects like this, but even I understand that having an alternative to our ace in the hole, the Destroyer, is huge for us. After all, the enemy has a giant monster on their side. Using a giant weapon against a giant opponent just makes sense.

“I see. So Russell’s special mission is to control Mr. Mogero and defeat that giant kitty, right?”

“No, I took a look at Mr. Mogero’s specs, and he doesn’t seem to be made for combat. Besides, Mr. Mogero doesn’t have a projectile barrier like the giant cat does. If we had them fight, Mr. Mogero would be a sitting duck against enemy projectiles, and the fight would be over pretty quickly.”

I wouldn’t be surprised if Hiiragi possesses powerful ranged weapons like rocket launchers.

“We know we can deal with that giant cat by using catnip, so it’s not that big of a threat. And this time, our side’s also got firearms. I doubt they can make any rash moves… So there’s something I want you to do.”

“N-no, I refuse. I don’t know what you want me to do, but I want to fight this time. I want to show them the power of a former Elite Four member…”

Seeing Russell nearly throw a tantrum causes Rose to sigh and shake her head.

“Then I’ll pilot Mr. Mogero. Mr. Russell, even though you’re weak, you’re still a chimera. Please give it your all this time.”

“Don’t call me weak! We’re supposed to be kin! I’m a former Elite Four member, dammit!”

2

Time passes gradually as Rose and Alice are off conducting secret procedures with Mr. Mogero, until eventually, the day to invade Toris has arrived.

In this relatively dry part of the world, we are graced by the rare sight of large, dark clouds in the sky.

On the dais in Hideout City’s practice field, I address our troops with a loudspeaker.

“Expendable Combat Agents, thank you for coming today despite your lack of things to do! Our ultimate objective is total domination of this planet, but it seems we have yet another hurdle to overcome in the form of this mysterious and powerful enemy! The situation is dire, and at this rate, they’ll end up delaying our invasion plans…”

“Get on with it! Someone as dumb as you doesn’t get to drone on this long!”

“Who the hell are you calling expendable?! You wanna die, pip-squeak?!”

“What the hell do you mean, ‘lack of things to do’?! Why do you feel the need to pick a fight with us every time there’s a mission briefing?!”

My rousing speech is interrupted by the jeers of around ten expendables.

Currently, the only ones present are the Combat Agents from Earth I’ve known for a long time and Alice.

“I’m important here, dammit! I’m basically your boss, so watch how you speak to me, cannon fodder!”

“Who does this jerk think he is?! Hey, let’s drag this idiot off his high horse!”

“His ego’s gotten way out of hand! Throw rocks at him!”

My short-tempered coworkers start throwing rocks at me. It seems my speech was a bit too complicated for them.

“Anyone who throws a rock at me is getting sent to the front lines! As Alice announced, we’re going to pick a fight with those Hiiragi bastards, and you’re all gonna fight with us!”

“Then open with that! Stop trying to make yourself sound important, dumbass!”

“You better be right there on the front line with us! Fighting is all you’re good at, remember?!”

…Dammit, I’ve had enough. I’m going to beat them before I beat Hiiragi.

“Stop calling me an idiot, you lot! You’re not much better than me in terms of academics!”

“Oh yeah? What high school did you go to?! I once took an entrance exam at a famous local prep school, y’know?!”

Alice picks up the loudspeaker I tossed aside so I could grapple with more of my coworkers and climbs up on to the dais.

“You can keep fighting if you want, but listen up. We’re going to take a number of our Combat Agents and invade the Toris branch of the Hiiragi Agency. A few days ago, we fought a small skirmish against them alongside the Grace Kingdom Army, and we discovered that they were in possession of both firearms and combat vehicles.”

Hearing that the enemy has firearms, the coworker I’m grappling with gets focused, as though realizing now isn’t the time for horseplay.

“So they really do have guns, huh…? Guh?! D-damn you…”

I take advantage of my coworker’s focus to land a sucker punch on his jaw. Alice continues unabated.

“The enemy’s battle technology is also quite advanced, and while we haven’t confirmed any giant robots commonly used by the Heroes of Earth, instead they’ve got giant monsters under their control. Well, to put it simply, they’re enemies on par with the Heroes of Earth. They’re an enemy we can’t afford to underestimate, so this time I’m not going to force you to participate.”

The Combat Agents all exhibit a rare degree of patience as Alice speaks. What’s gotten into her? I wonder. She’s usually the one going on about how expendable the other agents are.

Seeing that my tsundere partner has ditched her usual, coldhearted android persona, I say, “I thought you were the brainy partner, but it seems you really don’t understand us yet. Hey, guys, tell her what you think!”

I work my coworkers into a lather and they all shout insults.

“Hey, shrimp, don’t insult us, dammit! What, you think we’re just gonna cower before our Hero-class opponents?! We couldn’t call ourselves agents of an evil organization if we wet ourselves just because the enemy was a little strong!”

“Yeah! Fighting is our job!”

“I heard they hurt Lady Viper, Boobzilla, and even Little Russell! Why would we stay quiet when they’ve harmed our precious beauties?!”

“Go ahead and keep barking your usual orders. Treat us as expendable if you have to! We’ll survive anyway!”

Alice seems pleased by the agents’ attitudes.

“You’re all so stupid and easily manipulated… But similar to the phrase ‘idiots don’t catch colds,’ I’ve also heard that idiots are incredibly hard to kill. So please, remain idiots to the very end… Now then, here are your assignments!”

At Alice’s words, my coworkers let out a particularly loud cheer!

“The time for subtlety has long passed. You’ll need to stealthily enter Toris, but after that, we’re switching to brute force. All Combat Agents are to request as much cutting-edge equipment as their Evil Points will allow. Then, Snow, Grimm, and the former Elite Four members will join you in the attack. Since your power armor will afford you more survivability, it’s your job to serve as shields when the enemy forces show up. We can sustain up to five deaths. If we lose any more than that, I want you all to retreat immediately.”

“Wait, you’re totally using us as shields! What the hell happened to the sentimental vibes from a few seconds ago?!”

“‘We can sustain up to five deaths’?! Could you adjust those terms a little?!”

“Weren’t you supposed to be a high-spec android?! Come up with a better plan, dammit!”

I thought she’d finally started understanding the human heart, but I guess that was just my imagination.

Since I wasn’t assigned to the front lines, I shout derisively at my coworkers:

“Stop whining like little children! You know Alice is smart! It’s about time you learned to trust her! …So what should I do? I’m gonna deal the super-epic finishing blow while the expendables are busy buying us time, right?”

Alice steps off the dais.

“You’re coming with me to the front lines. I already told you. The time for subtlety is over. No sneaky tricks this time.”

She lost me.

“Wait, they’ve got a giant kitty that can shrug off gunfire. They’re gonna use it as a shield. Engaging in a firefight with a group like that is just begging for death!”

“It’ll be fine. Trust in my high-spec brain.”

She wants me to trust her? I’m sorry, but I just don’t see how brute forcing our way forward is gonna work against a group like Hiiragi.

“Can’t you be like Lady Lilith and get us a plane? Let’s just drop bombs on them with that! There’s gotta be a better option than a full-frontal assault! Aren’t you supposed to be smarter than this?!”

“You’ve all been wasting your Evil Points, so we can’t afford anything that expensive. I keep telling you to go above and beyond with your acts of villainy. But you just haven’t been performing.”

“I’m working hard every day! I’ve been having a ton of fun sexually harassing people! Dammit, I’ll do it! I’ll show you my power as the hardest-to-kill Combat Agent in all of Kisaragi!”

Alice’s chiding has gotten me all fired up, and I prepare to order more equipment from Japan.

3

In the wasteland outside of Hideout City, Snow looks up and stares blankly.

“Hey, Rose, let me touch it, too! It’s not fair to hog it to yourself!”

Leaving Snow to her stunned silence at the sheer size of Mr. Mogero, Grimm starts screeching up at Rose atop Mr. Mogero’s head. Rose looks smugly down.

“Since he’s now my underling, I can’t let anyone else on. Not even you, Grimm.”

“Why? Alice was the one who fixed it, and Russell was the one who told you how to activate it! You didn’t do anything, Rose!”

We watch as Grimm tries to scramble up to the top of Mr. Mogero with Rose constantly discharging electricity to deter her.

“Why won’t you let me up there?! Where’s the harm in me joining you for a little! Hey, Rose, if you can make it move while seated up there, does that mean I potentially could, too?

“It’s just cooler if he’s a special robot that only I can control. That’s why I’m not letting anyone else in here. So what are you planning to do on this mission, Grimm? You haven’t been much help lately, so I think you should show off your worth for once.”

“Oh, wow. You get asked to pilot a giant robot and suddenly you’re all high-and-mighty. I’ll have you know I also received an important assignment on this mission. In fact, I’m pretty much the star of the show this time!”

For this mission, Grimm was asked to place a curse on all of Toris.

Not the people of Toris, the kingdom.

The plan is for her to curse the land itself and leave our mark on it.

Ordinarily, there is no way such a large-scale curse would work, but…

“I’ve received items bursting with the love and respect that the demons all feel for Viper…”

After giving up on climbing atop Mr. Mogero, Grimm returns to her wheelchair. The items she is preciously cradling on her lap are items rich in sentimental value that the demon residents of Hideout City donated to the cause. When we told them that we wanted to get revenge for what Hiiragi did to Viper, just about all of them readily relinquished their most prized possessions.

“They’re all mementos with an extraordinary amount of sentimental value. For people to hand them over without a trace of hesitation, that girl must be beloved by all those demons. I’m so jealous… I hate her… I hate how popular she is!”

“H-hey, she’s not the one you should be cursing! Don’t get ahead of yourself!”

Well, we’re cursing the land of Toris, not its people. So hopefully, the potential backfire won’t put her life at risk…

Suddenly Snow, looking up at Mr. Mogero from astride her unicorn, speaks up.

“It seems we’re ready.”

Snow has an unusually determined expression on her face, with two magic swords on her hip and her katana strapped to her back.

The two magic swords are her old faithfuls, Flame-something and Ice-whatever.

The katana is the one that became her favorite after Tiger Man gifted it to her.

But I guess that isn’t enough to satisfy her, because on the side of the unicorn’s saddle are multiple magic swords encased in their scabbards.

We all have on our game faces today.

My coworkers are fully equipped with the latest weaponry and are all wearing optical camo.

Grimm is carrying the mementos she got from the demons, and even Rose atop Mr. Mogero looks full of enthusiasm.

Russell, who has taken off his maid outfit, is dressed in the outfit he was wearing when we first met him, and Heine’s expression takes on a sharper cast as she idly handles her sorcerer stone.

At the center of them all are Alice and myself, looking the same as ever, more or less.

“Looks like everyone’s ready to go. Are you sure you need me to come along?”

“You’re the branch manager, here. Just man up already.”

Snow’s expression twists into a thin smile at Alice’s and my lack of tension.

“You two don’t change, even at a time like this. I suppose that was true when we attacked the Demon Lord’s Castle as well. You kept teasing me even though it was the night before a decisive battle…”

Snow waxes nostalgic as she stares off into the distance…

“<Hey, Alice, what’s gotten into her? She’s being really weird today. I’m scared she’s gonna trigger a death flag or something.>”

“<Well, our opponent this time is one that’ll even kill Combat Agents if they hit us where it hurts. No doubt she’s just steeling herself since she’s about to face an enemy stronger than the Demon Lord’s Army. We might have overdone it on the scare tactics…>”

It’s time to settle the score. We’re an evil organization. We can’t let the enemy think we’re weak.

“Demon Lord Viper, are you watching us…? We won’t let them have their way with your precious demons. So please, rest in peace…,” Snow murmurs as she gazed up at the cloudy sky. I’m not sure how to tell her that Vi’s currently playing video games in her room…

It is at this moment that Alice receives the report from the scouting party on her radio.

The voices that leak from the radio report that the giant cat is still camped out in front of the city of Toris like a giant feline sentinel.

According to the report, there is no sign of enemy troops and we are free to launch our assault, provided we aren’t worried about the cat.

After listening to the report, Alice addresses the others.

“I don’t know who these Hiiragi bastards think they are, but Kisaragi claimed this planet first. If they’re going to claim to be agents of order, then proudly don the mantle of chaos! I’ve made enough justifications for you to attack them, so all you need to do is follow through!”

That’s right. We’re Combat Agents for an evil organization. We’re invaders.

Usually, we don’t even need a good reason to start a war. As my hardworking, degenerate coworkers grin in anticipation…

“Let’s go, you apes! To war!”

““““““““WHOOOOOOO!””””””””

Alice smiles and holds a fist of encouragement high in the air!

4

“It’s pretty cold today, isn’t it? Usually it’s too hot to sleep. What’s going on?”

“I’m sure there’s days like that. The biggest problem with the surface is the unstable weather…”

There are two soldiers exchanging words as they stand in front of the small watch station atop the outer wall.

“…Huh? It’s raining! I didn’t expect it to rain around here…”

“Dammit, our electronics are going to get wet… I wish I could dress like the surface dwellers in Toris and wear lighter clothing… Hey, did you hear something in the distance?”

The demotivated soldier notices something and speaks up as he throws a tarp over some sort of machine.

And then—

“Whoa!”

“Lightning?! Hey, are we seriously gonna have a storm?”

—electricity arcs across the sky, and the soldiers cover their ears as thunder rumbles a split second later.

And just as the soldiers feared, the first droplets begin to fall. In the blink of an eye, the light rain becomes a heavy downpour that muffles all other sounds in the area.

Shortly after, they rush to take shelter within the watch station.

I report the situation over my comm unit, then return to watching over the surroundings. I use my optical camo to hide near the main gate and outer wall that protects the city of Toris.

So much nitpicking. Who is she, my mom?

Don’t put us in the same league as pets, dammit.

Yes, this storm is caused by Tillis. But she didn’t use magic to call this storm. Before heading to Toris, we took the demons from Hideout City to the palace and asked her to do that. We asked her to chant the prayer in front of the demons.

There’s a condition for using the rain-making artifact, after all. It’s required that a royal chant the prayer to the artifact in front of a large number of people.

Alice’s guess was that the reason the artifact will only function when a royal chants the prayer is that it has a biometric security system tied to the DNA of the royal family to avoid having the artifact get misused, and it requires a large number of people to watch because it is fueled by the magic from the people gathered in front of it.

Meaning, we had Tillis shout out that prayer.

Since she threw a tantrum and said she would never say those words in front of her own people, as a compromise (a loophole, really), we brought the particularly discrete demons, but…

“Dammit, I should’ve recorded Tillis with a digital camera!”

“I recorded it, so relax. But damn, there’s good sides to the princess, too. While she looked a little foolish when she shouted the words for Snow’s sake, it was still a cool move.”

Snow beseeched the princess for a large amount of rain so that she could risk her life to infiltrate Toris. And Tillis, with great reluctance, accepted that request.

It’s this moment I notice someone approaching from the darkness.

It’s the wet noise of footsteps in the rain that confirms the others have arrived.

“Allll right, is everyone here? I can’t tell if you’re here thanks to the optical camo. Everyone, report in!”

“All but Rose and Snow held hands on the way, so we’re all here. And everyone’s present right now.”

“Aww, all friendly now, aren’t you? …Err, wait. I know about Rose since she’s on Mr. Mogero, but what happened with Snow?”

As I exchange whispers with Alice, something white appears from the darkness as though to answer my question.

Because she can’t see us, Snow, who is astride her unicorn and soaking wet with rain, looks to be on the verge of tears, desperate to find us.

Ah, so she couldn’t fully cover the unicorn’s large body with optical camo…

“We were supposed to be stealthy until we got inside the city. What are we gonna do with her?”

“I guess we have no choice. Snow can wait a short distance away.”

Just as Alice is about to issue her next orders, I’m struck with an idea.

I get close to Snow.

“Eeep! S-someone just touched my butt…! H-hey, who just touched my chest?!”

I was going to criticize her for falling behind so quickly, but I guess I’ll let her go this time in exchange for the Evil Points.

I look to the watch station on the outer wall…

“Hey, dammit, stop! Six, I know it’s you touching me! S-stop…!”

…Seems there are others who had the same idea I did.

If you’re going to earn Evil Points, do it a little more quietly, will you?

“Six, dammit, that’s enough…! W-wait, there are too many hands! So it’s not just one of you groping me?!”

Finally out of patience, Snow draws a sword.

“Whoever was touching me, speak up! I’m going to charge you for every grope!”

“Who goes there?! …What are you doing out this late?!”

“Unicorns are the military mounts of the kingdom of Grace! It’s an intruder! Sound the alarm!”

The two soldiers come bounding out of the watch station and draw conclusions based on seeing Snow.

Mixed in with the sound of heavy rain comes the high-pitched whine of a siren.

“Dammit, Snow really stepped in it this time! Well, no use crying over getting discovered! Let’s go, you apes! Charge straight through!”

““““Chaaaaarge!””””

“I don’t agree with it being treated like my mistake! I’ll find all of you that touched me!”

As Alice shouts out the orders, we throw aside our optical camo and attack the soldiers—!

The announcement rang throughout the city of Toris.

Sounds like the other agents are already busy.

Originally, our plan called for acting as a group until the enemy found us, but we’re improvising here.

“Heine and Russell, go attack the soldiers’ barracks. If you encounter the enemy, fight with civilian houses at your backs. The enemy claims to be the good guys, so they shouldn’t be able to fire at you under those circumstances.”

“So we’re going to use civilian housing as a shield… Well, okay, fine. I mean, we’re former Elite Four and demons to boot…”

I stand next to Alice as she issues instructions to Heine.

“Listen, Six, opportunities like this are rare! There’s a row of luxury shops that cater to nobles in front of us! We’re right in the middle of enemy territory! If we set fire to those shops, we can do major damage to their economy!” chirps Snow.

“Well sure, that’s probably true. But in your case, I’m pretty sure you just wanna loot them! To go out of your way to loot and pillage during an assault, just what’s wrong with Grace’s knights?! What kind of knight are you?!”

Snow was mere moments away from forgetting the purpose of the mission and going on a looting spree.

“What happened to your desire to avenge Vi?! All of us were kinda moved by your speech, y’know?! Now I just want to take that back!”

“That’s that, and this is this! Why don’t you come with me? Look, there’s a store that appears to sell jewelry. I’ll let you have that, so leave the weapons shop next to it for me.”

The knight makes an awful proposal and readies the bags she loaded onto the unicorn’s back.

…Did she seriously bring the unicorn to Toris just so it could carry her loot?

As I debate whether to just give up on Snow, Grimm speaks up, smiling happily while carrying around the mementos from the demons in a big sack like Santa Claus.

“Commander, I’m ready to rain down curses whenever you are! Oh, should we head closer to the center of the city? Hee-hee-hee-hee, I’m going to curse all the couples in Toris to meet the person of their dreams! That way if I get backlash from the curse, happiness will rain down upon me instead! And what makes it even better is that the couples I do curse will end up breaking up because they’ve met someone better!”

“Stop! Don’t waste the demons’ mementos on such a useless thing! You’ve got a different curse you’re supposed to put on this place, remember?!”

We’re in the middle of enemy territory, but none of them seem to have any sense of urgency appropriate to the occasion!

“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Now’s the time to teach the humans to fear us demons! Let’s go, Russell! I’ll engulf Toris in a sea of flames!”

“All right, I’ll make sure that humanity remembers they’re merely my playthings! Once Heine’s finished burning everything to a crisp, I’ll wash it away with a mighty flood!”

“No one told you to go that far! Your orders were to attack the barracks!”

Heine and Russell run off to attack the barracks with a noticeable pep in their step.

I watch them and speak to Alice, who’s issuing orders.

“I guess Kisaragi’s folks were pretty normal, huh? The people of this planet are ludicrous!”

“It’s just the people around you who are weird. You know what they say about birds of a feather, yeah?”

As explosions ring out amid the sound of pelting rain, I grab Snow and Grimm by the scruffs of their necks and start toward the palace, my main objective—

And stop as I see a familiar face on the main road to the palace.

“Y-you… I knew you were evil, but I didn’t think you’d go this far…”

Adelie stares at us in shock, too surprised to even wring the rain from her hair.

5

As Adelie continues to stand in stunned silence, I point my index finger at her.

“Don’t make it sound like you’re just some bystander. You’re the cause of all this chaos!”

“M-m-m-m-me?! What are you talking about?! How did my everyday good deeds result in terrorism in the city of Toris?!”

Adelie, who seems to have been caught off guard by my remark, tries to play dumb.

It seems that Snow can’t just let Adelie’s statement go without comment, and she hops on to her unicorn, drawing her sword.

“How dare you continue to mock us, even now! Don’t think we’ll simply forget all that you’ve done to the Grace Kingdom! We’re here because we’ve accepted your declaration of war!”

“Really, what are you going on about?! What do you mean, declaration of war?! I don’t know anything about that!”

Well, true, we haven’t gotten a formal declaration of war by letter or by messenger.

But…

“We’re already well aware that you were conducting acts of sabotage to cause a rebellion in Grace. Not only that, but sending your monster to invade us is clearly an act of war.”

“Causing a rebellion?! I don’t know anything about that. And what do you mean, sending a monster to invade you?!”

Even after Grimm points out her crimes, Adelie, of course, shows no sign of admitting to them.

Tired of Adelie’s attempts at playing dumb, Alice holds up her shotgun and speaks.

“Don’t play innocent after all that you’ve done. Of course, we don’t have any clear evidence that’s what you were planning. Obviously, no operative is going to be stupid enough to leave evidence of their intentions. But we’re the Kisaragi Corporation, an evil organization with a long history. So long as we think you’re responsible, we don’t need evidence. Besides…”

I cut Alice off by putting an arm in front of her.

Sorry, but it’s my right to speak up as Viper’s playmate.

“And you even hurt our boss who’s been working so hard lately that she’s lost a lot sleep. We, the Grace branch of the Kisaragi Corporation, are extremely pissed off about that. And we always get even. We don’t care who you guys are. We’re here for revenge! Once I beat your ass and kidnap you, I’m going to force you to apologize to Vi!”

“I really don’t know what you’re on about, but I’m well aware that you’re evil! I’m Adelheid Krueger, the Umbral Savior! Member of the Hiiragi Agency of Order! Don’t think you can win with such a small number of allies, Agentsix!”

At Adelie’s declaration, Snow spurs on her unicorn.

Despite the fact that we’re on a wet cobblestone road, Grimm kneels in place and clasps her hands together.

“I’m not Agentsix. I’m Combat Agent Six, employee of the Kisaragi Corporation! I’ll accept that you’re a Hero. The accepted wisdom is for Combat Agents to fight Heroes with an advantage in numbers. So don’t hate me for this!”

With that, I begin running in the pouring rain.

“Diiiiiiie, Hero!”

At my high-pitched screech, Alice provides cover fire with her shotgun.

Adelie is already on guard when she sees Alice’s weapon, and she crosses her arms in front of her face to guard herself from the scattering of buckshot.

Snow, who reached Adelie a step before me, shouts, “My name is Snow, knight captain of the kingdom of Grace! I hereby announce my claim to the head of the treacherous Adelie!”

“Don’t call me treacherous when you’re the corrupt governor!”

Even as she gives an idiotic response, Adelie uses her gauntlet to block Snow’s burning blade.

Adelie grabs the blade, showing no concern about the heat from the flames. Snow quickly lets go of the blade and grabs the hilt of another sword on her saddle, draws it, and strikes at Adelie with it.

Adelie tosses the sword in her hand aside and dodges Snow’s slash with a backstep, prompting Snow to throw the sword in her hand at her before drawing the ice sword on her hip.

Snow spurs her horse forward as Adelie dodges the sword thrown in her direction with just a tilt of her head.

…With just this short exchange I once again recognize Adelie’s sheer skill as a combatant.

We’re in the middle of enemy territory, and there are still soldiers scurrying about. It’ll be bad for us if the fight goes on too long.

I run forward as Snow and Adelie are engaged in a fierce struggle.

“Release restraints!”

I shout as I run. Behind me, Alice begins speaking into her comm link.

As though to cover up that announcement, Grimm speaks in a sultry voice.

“It’s here, it’s here! This is going to be big! I feel the strength of the people’s feelings and the power of my god! O Great Lord Zenarith, deliver disaster unto this realm! Bring down misery and woe upon this land’s people!”

“What’s with that crazy woman?! Is she some sort of evil ancient spirit?!”

Even Adelie is put off by the sheer enthusiasm of Grimm’s prayer.

I, of course, find myself cringing as well.

“The people of this land shall be cursed to dream of lovemaking sessions with orcs for three days and three nights!”

Perhaps because of the sheer intensity of the curse, the ground beneath me shakes.

Adelie’s armor glows momentarily as the curse also impacts her, and for some reason, Grimm falls over dead. Alice promptly collects her corpse.

In that same instant, Adelie ducks down to deliver a palm strike to Snow just as Snow is reaching for the katana on her back…

Adelie looks around in confusion at an even larger rumble from the ground, even as she took down Snow with a single blow.

“An earthquake in Toris…? First the storm and now this. There’s something odd going on tonight!”

Just when I am about a step away from Adelie, there is an enormous tremor, and the asphalt that covers the streets of Toris cracks and crumbles.

Mr. Mogero appears from the hole in the ground, and…

“PYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

…lets out a cry that sounds like metal twisting together as its giant body emerges, backlit by a lightning flash.

“Wh-wh-what…is that…?! Looks just like the Sand King, but it’s a giant metal mole!”

Having been distracted by Mr. Mogero’s sudden appearance, Adelie now notices my approach and falls into a defensive stance.

“That robot’s your fault, too, isn’t it? This is the middle of Toris. If there’s something that noticeable standing there, the others will get here soon. I can deal with that giant robot so long as the reinforcements help me. Then…”

Adelie crosses her arms in front of her face and slowly exhales.

With that, something resembling static electricity fills the air around her…!

“Let’s go, Agentsix! Justice Attaaaaaack!”

Adelie draws back her hands from her face, holding them a moment by her hip before she thrusts them out with a shout.

“Umbral Thunder!”

“Agent Six Kiiiiick!”

With my restraints released, I accelerate and quickly let loose with a flying kick.

Surprised by my sudden acceleration, Adelie’s reaction is a split second too slow.

Before her lightning-wreathed fist can reach me, Adelie is flung backward with a sound like two dump trucks colliding—!

“Wow, Six, she’s still conscious. That was a kick that could have killed a Hero… So what’s up with this armor?” says Alice, patting Adelie, who is sprawled out on the ground.

Considering that Alice feels the need to inject her with nanobots, Adelie may be conscious, but she’s in poor condition.

“After all, the flying kick is a terrifying move that’s killed countless mutants. If anything, it’s impressive she’s still alive after getting hit by one.”

Hearing that, Adelie seems to want to comment, but she has taken so much damage that all she can do is softly groan.

“Heh-heh. Well done, Six. I must say, I’m impressed that she and I were evenly matched even though I was equipped with my full arsenal…”

The loser who got knocked down by Adelie approaches while rubbing the spot on her stomach that suffered a nasty palm strike.

“You weren’t evenly matched. You lost even though Alice and I were covering for you.”

“Quiet. I only lost because I didn’t bring the cursed blade Deadstriker with me. If I had her with me, I would’ve won,” says Snow in a childish voice before averting her gaze. Rose hurries over after hopping off Mr. Mogero.

“Justice Lady! You’re the Justice Lady who bought me food in Grace! Why is this happening?!”

“Y-you… You’re the girl with the heart so pure, it made the crystal ball shine white…”

Rose and Adelie couldn’t have spent too much time together, so when did they get so friendly?

Had she been trying to recruit Rose as well…?

“Oh… I never expected you to be the pilot of that giant robot… So was it all just an act when you listened to me and agreed that justice was a good thing…?”

“I was only half listening because you promised to buy me meat skewers if I heard you out. But I do think being an ally of justice is a nice thing.”

After hearing this exchange, I realize they didn’t have much of a relationship after all.

“Haah… I’ve been soundly beaten… You know, I know I’m not the smartest, but I was at least confident in my fighting ability…”

“What a coincidence. My brain’s useless, but fighting is my one and only talent.”

Hearing that, Adelie chuckles and then coughs in pain.

It’s hard not to feel an odd sense of camaraderie with an enemy after a hard-fought battle. We’re both those who fight for a living, after all.

I turn to Adelie, who is still laboring to breathe.

“Looks like you’re friendly with Rose. Since you fed her skewers, I’ll hold off on kidnapping you and settle with you apologizing to Vi. This time.”

“Hey, Six, you’re probably freaked out because Adelie was hurt more badly than you expected, yes?”

Alice teases me, but Adelie seems concerned about something other than that.

“Vi…? Um, I really don’t know what you’re talking about…”

……?

“Playing dumb despite being this badly hurt? What’s wrong with her?”

“Um, I think she really doesn’t have any idea what we’re talking about…”

Just as Snow and I exchange glances and tilt our heads…

That announcement rings out from the speaker attached to Mr. Mogero.

It is delivered in Alice’s voice, but it is probably a prerecorded message.

“If this entire area is going to go up in a blaze, then it’d be a shame to leave all these great swords here! I’ll go save them…!”

The fact that Snow came up with a convenient excuse to go looting seems to clue in Adelie to what is about to happen, and she looks up at me with a concerned expression.

“…If this is a joke, it isn’t funny.”

“…Sorry, my partner’s a big fan of self-destructing. I tried really hard to stop her, but she wouldn’t listen to me and insisted she wanted to give the decrepit Mr. Mogero one last chance to shine…”

The whole point of this attack was to leave a big mark on Toris to make sure they respected Kisaragi.

Starting with the attacks from my coworkers, there was also the attack on the barracks by Heine and Russell, Snow’s looting, and Grimm’s curse.

I’m pretty sure the mark we’re leaving behind is already big enough, but…

“Are you serious?! Are you seriously serious?! SERIOUSLY?! You heartless, ruthless, evil organization! You’ll pay for this! AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Adelie, who has yet to regain full control of her body, tries desperately to get away from Mr. Mogero. Her voice has a certain sadness in it distinct to losing. It is a show truly comparable to Mr. Mogero’s final fireworks display.

6

It has been three days since Mr. Mogero went up in a flashy blaze of glory. We are in the conference room inside the Grace Kingdom’s palace. There is a palpable tension in the room when the bureaucrat from Grace Kingdom opens the proceedings.

“W-well then, let us begin the cease-fire negotiations between the Grace-Kisaragi Alliance and the Hiiragi Agency…”

At the table is the bureaucrat who represents the Grace Kingdom, as well as Alice and me.

On the other side of the table sits the representatives from Hiiragi: Adelie, who is still covered in various scratches and bruises, and a handsome man who appears to be her boss.

Adelie sits right across from me, and she glares daggers at me, her brow twitching.

“A pleasure to meet you, representatives of Kisaragi. My name is Fritz. First of all, allow me to apologize for all the trouble that my subordinate, Adelheid, has caused you.”

The handsome, silver-haired, blue-eyed man spoke with a faintly high-pitched voice before deeply bowing his head to us.

“D-Director?! Wait! I was just carrying out the dictates of justice! There’s nothing that you need to apologize for on my behalf! We’re the victims here! We were suddenly attacked, and just look at what happened to Toris…! The scars left by these people are still there! The residents have been plagued by daily nightmares involving orc intercourse…!”

Adelie starts on a heated rant, but Fritz doesn’t even turn to face her and continues, “…Watch your tone, Ms. Adelheid. Explain what it is you’ve done while in the Grace Kingdom.”

“At once, sir! First, I learned that the Grace Kingdom was so chronically short on water that it had to force a young boy wearing girl’s clothes to create water with magic! That being the case, I handed out the water crystals that can be harvested in these lands to merchants who seemed to be pure of heart. This way, they could help the people of Grace by selling the water crystals for cheap!”

Adelie speaks confidently and puffs out her chest before Alice hands over documents and opens her mouth to speak.

“As you can see from these documents, the water crystals you handed out were bought and resold in large quantities by the merchants and are being traded at an enormous premium. Grace Kingdom’s sensitive to changes in the water market. Your interference has caused a serious problem. Thanks to your unnecessary meddling, rumors have spread that Princess Tillis was smuggling in water crystals and unfairly profiting from their sale. It created a major problem, with the nobles gathering at the palace in protest.”

“Huh?”

Adelie is shell-shocked. The bureaucrat nods intently along to Alice’s explanation. Alice then follows up.

“That’s not all. Other issues included patrolling the city despite not being a police officer and unjustly cracking down on the residents. Trying to force orcs to leave the factory they had agreed under a contract to work in. Also, speaking of the boy dressed in a maid outfit, you tried to kidnap him, too.”

“W-wait! About that… The flame of justice that burns deep within my heart just got out of control for a little bit! …I’m sorry, I’ll certainly apologize for that… But—!”

Alice holds out her hand to cut off Adelie’s attempt to say more.

“You declared that Snow, who had been serving as a governor, was corrupt in front of the public and shattered her reputation. In spite of everything, Snow was a skilled governor. Yes, she may have accepted some bribes, but her leadership skills ensured that everything ran smoothly and everyone was happy.”

“Y-you’re mistaken! I didn’t know she was so good at governing, but if anything, having a skilled person engage in corruption would have resulted in something terrible happening in the long run!”

As Adelie desperately pleads her case, Alice hands her another document.

“Snow was an orphan who grew up in the slums, and she had been donating a portion of the bribes she accepted to the orphanage that had taken care of her when she was a child…”

“…Wha—?”

At learning an unexpected fact, this time, Adelie is at a loss for words.

This was something I’d learned recently as well, but that greedy woman had actually been donating some money to the orphanage. I was touched by the story when I first heard it, but naturally, there was an ulterior motive behind the donations.

Kids in the slums are keen eyed.

Apparently, Snow got the orphans on her side with her donations and used the information they gathered to help advance her own career.

That was the reason she always seemed so well-informed.

“She, of course, knows that it’s wrong. But I guess she wanted to help those poor children even if it meant engaging in corruption.”

“H-h-h-hold on! Hold on just a minute…!”

Adelie’s brow begins to bead with sweat after hearing of Snow’s unexpected kindness.

…Obviously, we didn’t mention the fact that the amount Snow donated to the orphanage was only a tiny portion of the bribes and hush money she’d collected. In fact, it made up less than 1 percent of the total.

“The same could be said of Tillis. Tragically, that princess lost her older brother, the Chosen One, and took over running the country after her father, the king, vanished. You called her evil, but she wasn’t always the way she is now. She took on the dirty work to protect her people. It was the only way she could face off against all the scheming nobles.”

“…?!”

Adelie’s demeanor goes completely sideways with confusion as she learns that the princess, who was still barely old enough to be considered anything other than a girl, is shouldering that much responsibility on her delicate shoulders.

Good work, Alice! Press the attack!

“But you, in your ignorance, decided to label her a Demon Lord and put a bounty on her head. As a result, the nobles and thugs started plotting her death, and she’s been having trouble sleeping ever since!”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

When Alice points her index finger at her face, Adelie grabs her own head and begins to wail.

…Tillis actually took advantage of the bounty on her head to appear defenseless and serve as bait for the nobles she wanted to get rid of, having Combat Agent Ten capture the nobles when they attacked her. Basically, she entrapped them.

I want to mention that’s why the crystal ball turned such a dark shade of black when Tillis touched it, but it seems Adelie is in no state to think of that fact and trembles as she exchanges glances with her boss.

…Ah, seems like we’ve landed some good blows, but I should follow that up now.

“There’s also the fact that it’s because you let your pet wander off that Vi, the girl who was so pure of heart that it made the karma-measurement crystal shine a blinding white, got so badly hurt. And to elaborate, that was why it escalated into war this time. So if you’re feeling even a little guilty for all that’s happened, you should apologize for being born!”

The giant monster that protects Toris turned out to be Adelie’s pet.

Viper got hurt that time because Adelie’s coworkers had chased after Adelie’s pet and inadvertently crossed the border into Grace.

When they saw us attempting to capture the cat, they tried to subdue us without hurting anyone. But upon seeing how strong Viper was, they panicked and opened fire.

Part of me wonders how such a stupid incident could escalate this far, but it’s true that there have been incidents on Earth where soldiers chasing a feral dog across a border started a war.

Looking at Adelie’s face, it’s clear she’s one push away from breaking.

“I-I-I-I’m sorry… H-how can I atone…?”

Adelie is torn up by guilt and Alice hands her another document to render the coup de grâce.

“Thanks to you going around telling everyone that the Grace Kingdom’s artifact was fixed, Tillis was left in a serious bind. If you really feel guilty about it, you should pay us reparations and give us rights to the water crystals…”

“Wait! I don’t know anything about that one! Honest! That’s not my fault at all! …Director! Please believe me on this one!”

We safely concluded the cease-fire negotiations.

While they will pay restitution to Viper for her injuries, given that Kisaragi went too far, we agreed to sweep this under the rug as an unfortunate incident caused by a misunderstanding.

I figured that Alice would try to squeeze them for more, but it seems the ruthless android has developed something of a conscience.

With the various parts of the conflict settled, we are on our way back to Hideout City when Adelie stops us, not even bothering to hide her sour mood.

“Well, you’ve really done it this time.”

Adelie spits out the words, prompting me to snort derisively at her.

“What is it? You seem pretty unhappy. We’re not exactly pleased about not getting a giant reparations payment from you, y’know. I was planning to buy a ton of gifts for Vi using the money we wrung out of you guys.”

Adelie is about to comment, but she grits her teeth and swallows her words.

After she calms herself and straightens up…

“You got the better of me, but I won’t lose next time. I’m an agent of order, and a watchwoman besides. I’m the sentinel who surveys the world to make sure that people don’t acquire excessive power. I am the one who exterminates all evil,” Adelie says with a serious expression.

“You’ll eventually learn the reason why we’ve come back to the surface. And you’ll also learn what happened on this planet and how the world has come to be the way it is…”

She speaks with sadness in her eyes and looks off into the distant sky.

“You hear that, Alice? She makes it sound like there’s a giant mystery, but it all sounds familiar somehow.”

“Yep, so it’s gotta be that old cliché, right? There was a super high-tech civilization on this planet, but the idiots in charge went too far and the world was almost destroyed by pollution and the like, right? Then, they probably took shelter in a colony in the sky or something.”

“How do you know all that?! …I—I mean… No! You’re wrong! It’s not such a simple story that you can explain the whole situation in under ten seconds. A-anyway, it’s not time for you to know the truth yet. You know about the legend of the Demon Lord and the Chosen One, right? It seems that some people were already aware, but that story doesn’t end with the death of the Demon Lord. Even if things have changed a bit, there’ll be a new revelation…”

As Adelie begins to go on a weird tangent, Alice and I turn to go back to Hideout City.

“Don’t think you’ve won. We might have lost the battle, but we won the negotiations. You wanted the water crystals in lieu of reparations, right?”

Adelie seems to have become fed up with us ignoring her, and she tries to taunt us, but…

“You’re pretending not to hear me, but I can tell you’re frustrated! I can see your shoulders shaking, Combat Agentsix! I’m Adelheid Krueger, the Umbral Savior! I’ll consider this a tie! This time! Since you call yourselves an evil corporation, I’ll continue to stand between you and the world!”

I take Adelie’s declaration of hostility on my back and keep walking without uttering a word.

7

As the bike’s headlight lights the pitch-black mine path, we proceed along while avoiding going too fast.

We’ve gone quite a distance from Hideout City, and it seems like we should probably set up freight rails and such inside the mine and build out the infrastructure.

Alice, who sits on the back of the motorcycle, peeks her head out from behind my shoulder.

“We’re almost at the destination. But damn, Mr. Mogero did some good work.”

“Doesn’t your heart ache to have made Mr. Mogero self-destruct after doing such good work?”

“What are you talking about? Mr. Mogero was old and, after all the wear and tear, nearing the end of his useful life. He was happy to have one final chance to shine.”

“Seriously? Can you really understand the feelings of a robot? …Ah, it’s coming into view.”

Arriving at the end of the mineshaft, I stop the bike and look up.

“Oh damn! These are all water crystals?! Just how much will these add up to?!”

There is a veritable wall of blue stones in front of me.

…We are deep underground, in Toris’s water-crystal mines.

As we were preparing for our invasion of Toris, Alice and Rose used Mr. Mogero’s abilities to dig the tunnel from Hideout City to this seam.

This was the job she was going to have Russell do at first.

“We could have gotten the same result using a shield machine, but you don’t have nearly enough Evil Points to order one of those. We got lucky this time. There was also a reason for Mr. Mogero to self-destruct. We collapsed some of the tunnels under Toris to make it harder for them to find our tunnel. That’ll force them to spend time repairing their own infrastructure and buy time until they can resume their mining operations.”

“…I see. While they’re rebuilding their city, we can take all their resources. Damn, you really are an evil one!”

“Ah, c’mon now, you can’t say that to me, partner. Ha-ha-ha-ha!”

“Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

Toris’s strength came from the wealth they’d gotten from their plentiful resources.

Thanks to Mr. Mogero’s self-destruction, Hiiragi’s probably in no state to be mining anything.

Us sneakily stealing their resources will lead directly to undermining their strength.

Alice’s scheme this time around was a wonderful piece of work that not only brought us money but also sapped the strength from our enemies.

All we need to do is to set up infrastructure down here and have the demons of Hideout City work the mines. It’ll create jobs and bring us wealth. It’s perfect!

After we spend a bit of time cackling maniacally, we exchange glances.

“No doubt Adelie would go blind with rage if she found out. Make sure you don’t tell anyone about this, got it? Even if Adelie smirks triumphantly at you, keep this to yourself, okay?”

“That was really close, honestly. I was this close to bursting out in laughter.”

Adelie said earlier that it was a stalemate, but Alice had won the negotiations all on her own.

I imagine Adelie’s reaction on finding out about this fact in the near future…

Manic cackling echoes throughout the tunnel deep below Toris.