54. Lost Hashira

Hana had decided one thing with complete certainty.

She wasn't going to leave Giyuu alone. Not after the way he looked at her. Not after the slight tremor in his voice when he told her to leave. Not after he told her to go away like he was trying to convince himself more than her.

​Over the next few days, Hana became a constant presence in his life whether he wanted it or not.

Everywhere he went, she was there. When he went to the garden to stare at the pond, she was sitting on a nearby rock humming a tune. When he walked towards his estate, she was leaning against the doorframe.

"Good morning, Giyuuu-san!" she chirped, waving a hand enthusiastically. "You're up earlier than I thought. Did you sleep well?"

Giyuu froze. He didn't answer. He hadn't expected her. Not this early.. He simply turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction. He heard the light pitter-patter of her shoes as she immediately began to follow him.

"Go away, Hana," Giyuu said, his voice flat.

​"No," she replied instantly.

​"I have nothing to say to you."

​"That's okay! I have enough things to say for both of us," she countered. She skipped ahead of him and then walked backward so she could look at his face.

He sighed.

Giyuu had been trying his best to avoid her. It was not because he disliked her. In fact, it was the opposite.

He liked having her around more than he cared to admit to himself. The silence of the Water Estate was usually lonely and cold, but whenever Hana was there, Giyuu felt a strange sence of comfort around him.

However, He knew that if he spoke to her, or if he truly engaged with her, he would have to face the feelings he was trying to bury deep inside his chest. He felt that he did not deserve such warmth from her.

"Giyuu-san!" The voice came from the hallway, followed by the light pitter-patter of feet against the wooden floor. Giyuu did not turn his head. He kept his eyes fixed on the surface of the small pond in the garden. He watched the water ripple, trying to remain as still as a stone. But his heartbeat betrayed him, quickening with every step she took closer.

"Giyuu-san, what are you doing?" Hana asked, dropping down to sit beside him on the wooden porch. She leaned forward, trying to catch his eye, but he remained focused on the water. She did not seem bothered by his silence. She tucked a stray strand of dark hair behind her ear and began swinging her legs back and forth.

​"Nothing," Giyuu said quietly.

​"Can I do nothing with you?" she asked, her voice bright and hopeful.

​Giyuu didn't answer. He didn't say yes, but he didn't say no. He simply shifted slightly to give her more room on the porch.

To Giyuu, "nothing" with her felt more than everything else in his life. He found himself watching her without meaning to. He watched the way the sunlight caught the edges of her hair. How her face glowed in the morning light. The way she smiled.

That smile.

It came so easily to her, like she had never learned how to hold it back. Giyuu didn't understand it. He didn't understand how someone could carry that kind of light so naturally... or why it seemed to reach him, no matter how much distance he tried to keep.

He looked away the moment she turned toward him, his breath catching slightly. Heat crept up his cheeks. He lowered his gaze, hoping that she wouldn't notice.

Beside him, Hana tilted her head slightly, watching him. Her gaze softened. The sharp line of his profile, the way his hair fell carelessly over his eyes. Her fingers twitched slightly at her side.

She wanted to reach out. Just for a second. To brush that strand of hair away from his face... to see if he would let her.

The thought startled her.

Hana quickly shook her head, looking away as a faint warmth rose to her own cheeks. She pressed her lips together, pretending to focus elsewhere instead.

There was something about him that pulled at her in a way she didn't quite understand.

Hana looked at him again. There is nothing like doing nothing with you Giyuu-san, she thought, a small smile playing on her lips.

They sat like this for a while in a comforting silence.

Eventually, Aoi came marching down the path, looking frustrated, and dragged Hana away for her afternoon medicines.

​"I'll be back tomorrow!" Hana shouted over her shoulder, waving a hand as Aoi pulled her by the sleeve. "Don't miss me too much!"

​Giyuu waited until the sound of her footsteps vanished before he finally let out a long, shaky breath. He looked at the spot where she had been sitting. Suddenly feeling the missing warmth of her presence. He rested his hand lightly against the wood beside him, as if the warmth she left behind might still be there. For a fleeting second, he imagined her sitting beside him again tomorrow.

The next morning, Giyuu was walking through the estate grounds when he heard a familiar shout. "Giyuu-san, good morning!" Hana cried out, waving both arms frantically. She was breathing heavily, as if she had run across the entire estate just to catch up to him. She slowed only when she reached him, bending slightly as she caught her breath, her chest rising and falling quickly.

Giyuu frowned, his eyes narrowing. "You shouldn't be running," he said, his voice stern but laced with a hint of worry. "You aren't fully healed yet."

Hana looked up, grinning despite her gasping breaths. "But I... I thought I would miss you.

"I am not going anywhere" Giyuu said. "Walk. Don't run."​

"Yes, sir," she said, giving him a mock salute. She straightened up and took a deep breath. "I brought something." She held up a small cloth-wrapped bundle.

"I can't stay long," she said, her voice dropping into a pout. "Rehabilitation training with Tanjiro starts in ten minutes. "If I'm late, Aoi will scold me again."

She started to back away, her smile returning. "I'll come meet you later, okay? Eat it while it's warm!"

He watched her walk away-actually walk this time, though she skipped every third step-until she disappeared around the corner of the estate. Only when she was completely out of sight did he let out a quiet breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Giyuu stood alone in the center of the yard. He looked down at the bundle in his hands. Carefully, he untied the knot in the cloth and peeled back the layers. Inside was a container of daikon served with simmered salmon.

It was his favorite. He remember how she has made it for him before and they had shared the meal together. Hana sitting across from him, watching him expectantly as he took the first bite. The way her eyes had lit up when he said it was good. The way she had laughed, soft and bright, as if his quiet approval meant everything to her.

Giyuu felt heat rise faintly to his face. He lowered his gaze, almost instinctively, as if someone might see.

And without thinking
he smiled."...What is happening to me?" he murmured under his breath.

Later that afternoon.. After his bath, Giyuu stepped back into his room, drying his hair with a towel. He was half-clothed, his chest bare and his damp hair clinging to the back of his neck. He didn't expect anyone to be there. He certainly didn't expect the door to slide open at that exact moment.

Hana stepped into the room casually "Giyuu-san, I was thinking-" She stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes went wide, scanning the broad line of his shoulders, the definition of his chest, and the water droplets that still clung to his skin. Her face went from pale to a deep, vibrant crimson in less than a second.

"I'm so sorry, Giyuu-san!" Hana shrieked, her voice reaching a pitch he had never heard before. She squeezed her eyes shut and bowed low. "I didn't know! I should have knocked! I am so sorry! I am so, so sorry!" She was shaking, her face looking like it might actually catch fire from the heat of her blush.

Giyuu felt a wave of heat wash over his own face. He didn't know what to do. He just stood there, paralyzed by the sudden intrusion and the look on her face.

Before Giyuu could even attempt to say it was alright, or even find his voice to tell her to stay, she turned and bolted out the door. Her footsteps echoed loudly down the hallway. Giyuu stood in the center of his room, the cool air hitting his bare skin, but he felt warmer than he had in the bath. He touched his chest, right over his heart. It was still racing, thumping against his ribs like a trapped bird.

He realized then that he couldn't keep ignoring her. The walls he had built around himself weren't meant to keep her out, they were meant to protect him from how much he wanted her to stay. Seeing her reaction, seeing the way she looked at him, made something break inside his chest. He didn't want her to be afraid of him, and he didn't want her to feel ashamed for a simple mistake. He realized that the silence he had maintained was a shadow that he needed to step out of if he ever wanted to see her smile directed at him again.

The next morning, Giyuu didn't wait for Hana to arrive at his doorstep. He didn't sit by the pond and wait for her to find him. Instead, he went looking for her. He found her near the medicinal gardens, tending to some herbs with a distracted look on her face. She looked tired, as if she hadn't slept well, and she was biting her lip nervously. When she saw him approaching, she jumped nearly a foot into the air, dropping her gardening shears into the dirt.

"Giyuu-san!" she squeaked, looking ready to run again. She backed away a few steps, her eyes darting around for an escape route. "I... I really am sorry about yesterday. I'll never enter a room without knocking again. I'll knock ten times! I'll shout! Please don't be mad! I didn't see anything, I promise! I mean, I did see, but I wasn't-" She was rambling now, her words tripping over each other in her haste to apologize.

"Hana." Giyuu said her name firmly but softly. She stopped talking immediately. Her mouth stayed open in a little 'o' shape, her eyes wide with shock. He stepped closer, noticing how her breath hitched just like it had the day before. He felt his own nerves buzzing, but he pushed through them.

"It's okay," he said quietly. He looked down at her, trying to convey with his eyes what he couldn't yet say with his words. He saw the tension leave her shoulders, replaced by a soft, hesitant wonder. She looked up at him, her face still slightly pink, but the fear was gone.

Hana blinked, her long lashes brushing against her eyelids. "It is? You aren't mad at me? I felt so bad all night. I thought you would hate me for being so clumsy and rude." She reached out and touched his sleeve timidly, as if checking to see if he was real. Giyuu felt a spark where her fingers met the fabric of his haori. He looked toward the path that led away from the estate, toward the quiet area where the trees opened up to a hidden spring.

"Do you want to talk by the lake?" Giyuu asked. Hana froze. Her eyes widened even more, and for a moment, he feared he had said the wrong thing. But then, a bright, beautiful smile broke across her face-the kind of smile that made him feel like he was finally home.

"I would love to, Giyuu-san!" she exclaimed, her voice full of joy. She didn't run away this time. Instead, she stepped up beside him, waiting for him to lead the way. As they walked toward the water, the silence between them was finally gone, replaced by the soft sound of the wind and the promise of a conversation that was long overdue.