Volume 5, Chapter 18 – Dowry

As though chaos had just first parted and yin and yang still lay in haze, a little ball of white mist quietly intruded into a sea of qi, ever-shifting and unfathomable.

The little ball had only just been born. Its movements were innocent, and it knew not what fear was. Relying only on some mysterious intent, it plunged into the qi sea, stirring the surging tides until Heaven dimmed and Earth darkened. At one moment came the rumble of hidden thunder, at the next the sudden lash of torrential rain. Its form rose and sank again and again amid the waves, ceaselessly breaking apart, ceaselessly gathering itself anew.

Then, all at once, the sea tide stilled, the dark clouds withdrew, and a mountain full of peach groves appeared. Fearless, the little ball pressed inward, and there beheld a glimpse of a fairyland in the mortal world.

It was precisely as the poem says:

“All earthly blossoms fade by April’s end,

Yet temple peaches on the mountain just begin.

Long had I lamented spring gone past and nowhere found,

Not knowing it had turned and entered here.”

At times the little ball drifted through peach branches, at times it passed through forest streams. When it looked back with a sudden start, it was already stained with powder and steeped in soft fragrance. The mist of its body had grown more than ten times more condensed than at the beginning, and within the qi it gathered there quietly appeared a single thread of golden radiance.

Seeking still further inward, it found a deep ravine.

And there is verse for this as well:

“Alone I cherish grasses by the ravine’s edge,

Above, orioles sing deep in the trees.

Spring flood comes with rain, urgent at dusk,

At the lonely ford, an empty boat lies crosswise.”

The little ball paid it no heed, but only kept seeking. It gathered that golden qi and constantly struggled against the rushing stream and plunging falls, using their scouring force to temper itself. The qi within it cycled without stop, trying to cross the tribulation of cultivation.

Suddenly, hidden thunder exploded once more, and curtains of rain poured down. Peach mountain and deep ravine were again drowned by the tide. The little ball felt itself fall into a whirlpool thick with killing intent. One instant it was dragged into the abyssal bottom of a chasm, where it could dimly touch the unfathomable deep. The next instant the current flung it back toward the sea’s surface, riding towering waves to the utmost height, watching stars and clouds shift in passage, witnessing the changes of the Heaven Sea.

No one knew how long it was like that before the hidden thunder subsided, the storm gradually slowed, and the turbulent qi sea slowly parted to either side, like some marvel from myth, setting the white mist ball down within the valley.

The little ball was dazed. Looking at itself once more, it had become white as something descended from Heaven, yet with the unfathomable menace of hidden thunder. Strange fragrance seeped into it and buried loyal bones, while gold hid throughout the qi of its body without outwardly showing.

And this too was precisely as the poem says:

“At dawn I leave White Emperor amid colored clouds,

A thousand li to Jiangling in a single day returned.

Orioles cry without cease from either bank,

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My light boat has already passed ten thousand mountains.”

…

After their cultivation, Bai Zhuqing fell into a deep sleep with her arms wrapped around Bai Xiang’s waist, her tall body curled inward like a baby’s. Even in slumber she kept rubbing the tip of her nose and her cheek against warmth and softness.

The little thing had nerves of steel. She actually dared use my stomach to temper a sword pellet.

Bai Xiang leaned half on her side against the bed, faint traces of red cloud still lingering on her fair, exquisite face.

Applying a little strength, she raised her right arm and let her fingertips come to rest on Bai Zhuqing’s pretty cheek.

At first she had meant to pinch that face and forcibly wake her, making her suffer another bout of jostling. But when she thought of how, over these ten years of her absence, the realm of Eastern Xia and the whole position of the Bai family had almost all rested on her younger sister’s shoulders alone, that impulse to punish faded.

Instead, she lightly stroked her younger sister’s face, then pressed down on that round, white shoulder and drew her a little closer into her embrace.

Bai Zhuqing had slept extremely well this round.

She slept for more than five straight hours, so deeply that her body clock itself failed. When she woke again, she did not even dare trust the warmth beneath her head. She had to jolt herself fully awake and sit up, then snake her way over Bai Xiang like a little white serpent that had somehow grown four feet. She blinked at that lovely, seductive face, sniffing here and there, only then willing to confirm that everything earlier had not been a dream.

“You were sleeping so soundly, I didn’t wake you.”

Bai Xiang could not be bothered to get dressed again, and lay there with her chest casually bare, holding a memorial and reading it in detail. Only when Bai Zhuqing tilted her head over to block her view did she finally turn properly to meet her younger sister’s eyes, a trace of laughter flickering in those golden pupils.

“Well? How do you feel?”

Bai Zhuqing pressed her lips together and lay limp across her as if all strength had left her body, willfully piling her whole weight on top. She rested her chin on Bai Xiang’s shoulder, rubbed her head against her hair at the temple, and only then answered in a soft, kittenish murmur, “Naturally, it was good.”

It truly was good, and good beyond any better good.

All the pressure, all the accumulated strain, had basically been discharged along with those heaving sea tides. Not only had she received the treatment and indulgence she had dreamed of, she had also pushed the line of battle one step farther and finally won the right to contend with Elder Sister face to face.

All right, she knew that this so-called contending was only possible because Bai Xiang was yielding to her.

But did that make it any less progress?

They said the face was born from the heart, and the body followed the will. For all these years she had longed to grow taller, to become more beautiful. In the end, she had gained this outward form, so changed from the soft and sweet girl she once was that the difference could only be called dramatic. And what had it all been for, if not for this very day?

Because I do not only want Elder Sister to hold me tight and cherish me. I also want to use my own strength to help her.

Bai Zhuqing’s conviction grew firmer and firmer.

It was only a pity.

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A pity that no matter how much she had willed herself to grow tall, she had only reached this point. Standing side by side, at most she was level with Elder Sister. The beautiful dream of taking Elder Sister into her own arms in return was shattered.

Bai Zhuqing clung to Bai Xiang for a while longer, sometimes twining a few white strands of hair around her fingers, sometimes pressing close to listen to her heartbeat.

Then suddenly, she propped herself up and, in the soft lamplight by the bed, looked at Bai Xiang. Focusing carefully on her face, she discovered that there had in fact been some subtle changes.

The same snowy hair, the same snowy lashes, those bright yet eerie golden eyes… that cool and beautiful face too was much like the one in her memories.

But there had been changes.

Others might not be able to tell, but Bai Zhuqing could.

She keenly noticed that the lines of Bai Xiang’s brows, eyes, nose bridge, and lips had all become just a touch more pronounced than before.

A little less sacred, a little more alluring.

It looked simply…

“Elder Sister.” Her face turned somewhat pale. “These ten years… could it be that you…”

“Mhm.” Bai Xiang gave a casual little nod, though her gaze had still not left the memorial.

“At first I also thought I had been in a state of suspension. But when I thought back carefully, there were some chaotic fragments of memory. I was probably fighting against the tides.”

“Elder Sister!”

Hearing this, Bai Zhuqing could no longer restrain herself. Two streams of tears spilled from her eyes. She threw herself down again, wrapping Bai Xiang in an embrace and sobbing softly against her.

She understood exactly what that meant.

It meant that, through the ten years the two of them had been separated, Bai Xiang had not actually been frozen motionless in the Sky Sea. Her subjective sense of time had not been suspended. Her body and bones had not stopped growing.

Elder Sister had been conscious.

She could see, hear, breathe, think.

And in exactly that state, she had been trapped in the Sky Sea, resisting the Void Tribulation tides for ten whole years.

Bai Zhuqing could hardly imagine what sort of loneliness that must have been.

No matter how bitter her own years had felt, at the very least she had always been able to do something to ease her worries and loneliness.

But Elder Sister?

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She could do nothing. She had been trapped in that fixed and dead span of time, and yet had perversely retained her consciousness within it.

What kind of hardship and torment had that been?

At first, Bai Zhuqing had thought that, after giving so much of herself, she was justified in feeling wronged, and that she naturally harbored a trace of resentment over Bai Xiang’s long delay in returning. But compared with Elder Sister’s suffering, she was simply—

The moment she thought of how, over these ten years, whenever she felt bitter or lonely she would use the Qingwu Sword, the token Bai Xiang had given her, to comfort herself, while Bai Xiang herself had at that very same time been trapped deep in the Sky Sea, unable to move, capable only of passively enduring and surviving amid the tides, Bai Zhuqing felt she was not even human.

How could I possibly have the face to ask Elder Sister for those pleasures?

The more she thought, the worse she felt, and she cried bitterly.

She felt like a spoiled child who, the moment they met again, had used her merits to demand a reward and pressed all sorts of excessive demands onto Bai Xiang.

And Bai Xiang had agreed to every one of them.

Without hesitation.

Without excuse.

After so many years, Bai Zhuqing once more felt herself wrapped in that heavy and wordless love. An indescribable shame and guilt filled her, until she wished time could flow backward again so she could kill that greedy version of herself.

“Stop crying.”

“You are a great beauty now. If you cry your face all blotched, it won’t look nice.”

Setting the memorial aside, Bai Xiang patted her younger sister on the back while inwardly finding her rather entertaining.

Wasn’t it only ten years of being able to think but not move?

She made it sound as though I had endured some terrible grievance.

Bai Xiang did not find that stretch of time particularly hard to bear. Quite the opposite: in those hazy days she had entered a profoundly mysterious state.

Neither thought, nor non-thought.

So much so that when she unconsciously awoke, she had already mastered half the Xuandi Scripture as thoroughly as though she had immersed herself in it for many years. Even Emperor Feng reborn might have done no better.

It was precisely by relying on that that she could seize souls and draw spirits even without Feixiang Heaven in hand.

A great blessing born from disaster, yet from her younger sister’s reaction one would think she had suffered endless wrongs.

After thinking it over, Bai Xiang decided that explaining it would probably do no good anyway. Better to let the little girl go on misunderstanding, lest she start pushing for more and more in the future.

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“I’m a pauper now, you know.”

Pinching Bai Zhuqing’s chin, Bai Xiang forcibly raised her younger sister’s face.

“My jade badge, my Dao sword, all of it is gone.”

“Including that pair of golden cicadas you gave me.”

Ah…

Bai Zhuqing froze.

Elder Sister meant… the golden cicada earrings that had been the matching token exchanged for the Qingwu Sword?

Yes.

She understood at once.

Even the storage jade badge, even Feixiang Heaven itself, had been lost. That showed how violent and ferocious the Void Tribulation tides deep in the Sky Sea had been. And those golden cicada earrings had been mortal objects to begin with, so of course they could not possibly have survived. Their destruction and loss were only natural.

This was, of course, not something for which Bai Xiang could be blamed. She said at once, “It doesn’t matter! So long as Elder Sister has returned, that is enough!”

“As for the earrings…”

Then her voice turned soft and sweet again. At the same time, she darted a glance up at Bai Xiang, and a flush rose over her alluring face.

“If Elder Sister likes them…”

“Qing’er would gladly give you as many pairs as you want.”

“Good…”

Bai Xiang thought to herself that she had finally soothed the little girl and let out a small breath of relief. Just as she was about to speak, Bai Zhuqing interrupted her once again.

“Elder Sister is not a pauper.”

The beauty before her swept back her black hair and, with great seriousness, held up one finger toward the woman beneath her.

“This realm of the Path of Qi was inherited from Elder Sister in the first place.”

“This realm, with all its strange wonders, is the dowry Elder Sister bestowed on me.”