Volume 5, Chapter 50 – Heart’s Return (Two-in-One)

That answer was somewhat beyond Bai Xiang’s expectations. She could not help refocusing her pupils and looking at her younger sister with those golden eyes.

But Bai Zhuqing was clearly no longer as “respectful” toward her as she had been in the past. The hand that had been caressing Bai Xiang’s cheek shifted slightly upward, and she even began brushing at her pure white eyelashes with her thumb, gazing into those golden eyes with admiration, obsession, and appreciation, as if she were studying a piece of amber jade.

“So beautiful…”

Bai Zhuqing let out a soft sigh.

“Big Sister’s eyes, the way they shift and fade from golden brilliance into shadow, really are the sort of thing one can never stop staring at. No matter how long I look, I still get bewitched. It makes people want to sink right into them.”

She even tried to lean closer, as though she truly meant to kiss her sister’s eyeballs.

Smack!

At the very last moment, Bai Xiang grabbed her wrist and asked with a frown, “So you knew you were being influenced by the Illusory God?”

Bai Zhuqing first put on a pained expression, trying to trick Bai Xiang into feeling sorry for her.

But Bai Xiang was completely unmoved. Though her gaze toward her was complicated, the cold resolve within it had not lessened since years ago. It was still that rigid attitude of, once she had decided something, she would absolutely deal with it properly.

“More or less.” Bai Zhuqing gave up pretending and nodded calmly. “Though I did enjoy it, too…”

Bai Xiang cut her off. “Since when?”

“Big Sister means when I first noticed, or when I first started enjoying it?”

Bai Zhuqing’s eyes rolled slightly, and she simply softened her body and leaned into Bai Xiang’s arms again, once more lifting a hand to touch Bai Xiang’s face.

Bai Xiang frowned and said stiffly, “The first one.”

“If it’s when I noticed, then it should have been after the first year.” Bai Zhuqing’s smile slowly faded, though she still kept that soft expression as she looked at Bai Xiang. “Maybe because I was away from Big Sister’s ‘influence’ for so long that my true self started returning, and I gradually realized the truth.”

So it really was during this period.

That matched Bai Xiang’s own guess. Because she had not been by her younger sister’s side for ten whole years, the influence from the Illusory God had faded. And on top of that, her younger sister had inherited Bai Nianchan’s talent for Insight, so the most likely time for her awakening was indeed sometime within those ten years.

“But you didn’t resist it?” Bai Xiang found it hard to understand. “This is ‘deception.’ Even though… in the end, I did fail you. You don’t resent me? You still sank deeper into it?”

She truly felt that she had failed her younger sister. If she had never crossed into this body, perhaps the Bai Xiang of this world would have had a completely different personality, and would not have kept her younger sister from ever finding a proper match all the way until now.

Whatever gender that person might have been, it would still have been better than this kind of “deception.”

After all, Bai Xiang genuinely could not imagine how a relationship sustained through deceit and control could possibly last.

“The way you’re saying that really hurts me.”

A moment ago, her younger sister had still looked gentle and graceful. But at these words, her face abruptly hardened, and she pulled herself out of Bai Xiang’s arms and stepped back.

Bai Xiang frowned. “Qing’er…”

“Shut up!” Bai Zhuqing cut her off coldly. “Dishonest Big Sister… you still haven’t understood what the real issue is!”

“If you unconsciously made that kind of influence on me, then it means you were craving to be loved all along, craving it so badly you could die from it!”

“You manipulated me that way on purpose because you wanted me to do those twisted things to you, didn’t you?”

“I already told you I don’t hate it…”

“I already told you I don’t reject it…”

“I’ve said things to this extent already, so why do you still not understand? Why are you still thinking about some shallow issue like ‘failing me’!”

“If I answered, ‘No, I don’t want this,’ would you really let me go?”

“If I said, ‘Yes! I hate you!’ would you really give up?”

“Would you tolerate me falling in love with someone else? Joining with someone else and giving birth to life with them?”

“What exactly do you think I am? Some puppet doll you control when you need me, and casually throw away when you don’t?”

By the time she had poured out all of those questions, Bai Zhuqing was already crying.

“You have the courage and the sense of responsibility to shoulder the empire and the world, so why don’t you have the courage to face me!”

“Is there only the sword in your heart and not me?”

“Say something, Auntie!”

So that was it…

Rеαԁ on КatReаԁіոɡСαfе

It felt as though a mountain had been set down on her heart. At last, Bai Xiang completely understood what her younger sister had been feeling.

Qing’er was right to scold her.

If even her subconscious counted as part of “Bai Xiang,” then she truly was a sick deviant who craved to be loved.

It was only that, compared with the Great Dao of Longevity, compared with grasping transcendent power, that craving had seemed so insignificant that after awakening at seventeen, she had never once looked directly at the matter. Even after she later realized that her younger sister’s attachment had been shaped by the influence of the Illusory God, she still had not taken it too seriously in her heart.

As long as she continued seeking greater advancement, that was enough.

As long as she kept growing stronger, endlessly, then she could resolve anything. Any enemy would have to kneel beneath the blade of Feixiang Heaven. She truly possessed that kind of confidence.

But that was unfair to Qing’er.

Now that she thought about it, the Illusory God’s influence should from the very beginning have been violent, irrational, and indiscriminate.

Yet only Qing’er had fallen for it. That meant that from the very start, certain seeds had already been planted in muddied confusion. It meant Qing’er herself had already possessed the potential to love her.

Passively controlled.

Passively deceived.

Passively accepting it.

And perhaps also passively reconciling herself to it.

Even if, during those ten years, she had come to understand her own heart and decided that she “didn’t hate it,” the objective truth remained that she had indeed been influenced.

She had given this much. She had already laid everything out clearly before Bai Xiang. Yet what she received in return was Bai Xiang fretting over “failing” her.

If their positions were reversed, Bai Xiang would feel angry too.

She completely understood Qing’er’s outburst.

Then how did she herself truly feel…?

When she thought that far, Bai Xiang realized the answer required no further thought.

Because when her younger sister, in tears, spoke the words “falling in love with someone else” and “joining with someone else,” the heart in Bai Xiang’s chest had hurt as well.

So really, it was an excellent question.

She had the boldness to stand against the whole world, yet could not even face her own emotions honestly… could a person like that really be said to possess true courage?

As her thoughts shifted, Bai Xiang’s gaze gradually steadied once more.

She had already decided she would do something, admit certain things she had been avoiding all this time. But Bai Zhuqing was still trapped in anger and grief and had not noticed.

Shhk!

Bai Zhuqing reached to her chest and slowly drew out a familiar sword from the void directly above it.

As the blade fully left her body, that patch of void left behind a faint sword scar on the skin revealed at Bai Zhuqing’s chest. The blood that seeped out during the drawing of the sword stained her white dress, like red plum blossoms blooming across it.

Feixiang Heaven… saturated by Big Sister’s power, just like I am.

With Big Sister absent, in this world only my blood-soul can conceal you, and only my blood-soul can nourish you.

No matter how much blood other living beings gave, it could never truly satisfy you.

Bai Zhuqing looked down at the somewhat withered sword in her hand, her heart full of complicated feelings.

If Bai Xiang’s answer had not been the one she wanted, she had planned to fuse with this sword, sacrificing her own flesh, blood, and soul to make Bai Xiang even stronger.

She had spent ten years feeding this sword with her blood-soul. While honing its edge, she had long since also prepared herself to face whatever answer came.

It’s only that Big Sister left in such a hurry that I never had time to explain any of this clearly to her.

But even now, it isn’t too late.

“Hngh…!”

With a muffled grunt, Bai Zhuqing gathered most of the blood essence in her body and poured it into the sword, feeding it strength in a way that was almost like a sword sacrifice. At once, Feixiang Heaven, which had been somewhat listless, suddenly revived, and a sharp blood-shadow gleamed from the blade.

“Draw your sword.”

When she had finished, Bai Zhuqing’s aura had greatly weakened. Panting, she practically forced those two words out through clenched teeth.

Rеαԁ оn ΚatReаԁiոɡСаfе

“If the only thing in Big Sister’s heart really is the sword… then let me meet Big Sister with a sword.”

Bai Xiang lowered her gaze, her eyes growing deeper and deeper.

She said nothing. She simply took hold of the Shenming Sword at the sash tied around her waist and slowly drew it out.

Its straight blade was covered in cracks, all damage left behind by the journey to Northern Yu.

Before she departed, it should have been a stronger sword than Feixiang Heaven in its shrunken state. Now it was a little strained, but Bai Xiang had no intention of changing to another sword.

“Take this!”

The woman opposite gave a sharp cry, flicked her wrist, and thrust with her sword.

Feixiang Heaven trembled violently in her hand. Quite obviously, although Bai Zhuqing had been guided by Bai Xiang into Entering the Dao and had therefore been incorporated into Bai Xiang’s cultivation system, which meant Feixiang Heaven did not reject her as it rejected others and could at least be held in her hand, it was still Bai Xiang’s natal Dao sword. It did not want to point its edge at its own master.

The sword split the air, its hum and tremor growing fiercer.

That resistance was already seriously disrupting Bai Zhuqing’s sword form, distorting her movements completely.

This sword strike could no longer be called a technique at all.

But she had already sunk too deeply into emotions verging on madness to care. At that moment, all she wanted was to use the clash of blades to determine certain things.

Such deep obsession.

Bai Xiang’s brow twitched.

She had chased her this far and done all this. So what she had said before had indeed been no lie.

That being the case, I know what I need to do as well.

Holding the Shenming Sword in her right hand, Bai Xiang stood where she was without moving. But the instant Feixiang Heaven’s blade struck toward her, she spread out her consciousness and suppressed that resistance within it.

In that instant, Bai Zhuqing felt the sword stop trembling.

Her force turned steady, her wrist and arm straightened into one line, and it seemed as though Feixiang Heaven itself was carrying her into some wondrous state. This sword thrust almost seemed capable of piercing the void itself!

And then, her eyes slowly widened as she saw the edge before Feixiang Heaven’s point… the edge of the Shenming Sword had actually moved aside at the instant before contact.

There was no block… This—

Pfft!

Before she could react, the sword had already gone straight into Bai Xiang’s exposed chest, completely piercing through her body.

“Big Sister?!”

Bai Zhuqing froze.

Her face changed drastically. The expression of grim resolve on it collapsed into total panic. She immediately let go of the hilt and rushed forward, wanting to check Bai Xiang’s injury.

But halfway there, Bai Xiang caught her wrist, pulled her hard into her arms, and the two of them lost their balance together and fell into the pool.

Splash!

The world abruptly became quiet.

Underwater, the two of them were locked tightly together, their black and dark-gold eyes gazing into one another.

Bai Xiang tilted her nose slightly aside of her own accord, and then two soft things pressed tightly together, tangling and grinding against one another as if they had forgotten what “breathing” even meant.

The moment seemed both fleeting and endless.

Bai Zhuqing was first lost in it, then suddenly remembered that Bai Xiang was injured. She tightened her arms around the waist of the woman in her embrace instead, carrying Bai Xiang back up to the surface.

“Blegh!”

Spitting out a mouthful of water like a fish, Bai Zhuqing used qi to pull Bai Xiang along, quickly paddling to the shore and trying to lay her on her side there.

“There’s no need to make it so troublesome.”

A calm voice sounded beside her ear.

Pfft!

Another muffled sound followed. Bai Zhuqing turned her head, only to see Feixiang Heaven activate on its own, as if controlled by an invisible hand, and pull itself out of Bai Xiang’s chest in one stroke.

Reαԁ οո KаtRеаdiոɡСαfе

“Big Sister!!”

That terrified her. She immediately leaned in and wrapped her arms around Bai Xiang. Her left hand pressed against the hollow between Bai Xiang’s breasts, while her right hand circled behind Bai Xiang’s back, trying to block the wounds on both sides.

I need to stop the bleeding—huh?

As her hands moved over her, Bai Zhuqing froze.

Because she could not feel any wound at all.

Front or back, the skin of her sister’s body was as whole and smooth as ever. There was no sword wound from being pierced through.

“Feixiang Heaven can already be treated as one of my split bodies.”

“And with that special talent added on top, healing is instantaneous.”

“It’s you I’m more concerned about… Have you touched enough yet?”

Warm breath suddenly brushed her ear. Someone was clearly whispering.

Ah…

Ahh…

Instinctively, Bai Zhuqing’s face began flushing red.

But she was no longer the innocent young girl she had been ten years ago. At once she turned her reddened face back and glared at that beautiful face carrying a hint of a smile.

“…You fooled me?”

“I’m only balancing the account.” Bai Xiang said this while looking toward the red plum-blossom stain spreading across her younger sister’s chest. “As my Dao sword, Feixiang Heaven has remained soaked in my power for too long. It is no longer merely an object, but a living thing.”

“I had been wondering whether, even if I found it, after ten whole years without nourishment from my blood essence, it might already have declined to the point of being unusable.”

“You helped me nourish my sword, and you were injured drawing it out. So I let you injure me once too. That settles things between us.”

“Idiot—!”

Bai Zhuqing bit down on her teeth and gave her shoulder a punch. Looking at that earnest, lovely face, her eyes gleamed with something bright and liquid.

“I wasn’t really sacrificing the sword at all, so there was no need…”

No need to take it this seriously.

Bai Zhuqing did not say the rest, because all at once she found herself thinking about why Bai Xiang would use this method to settle the account with her.

Could it be… a final break?

Because she didn’t want to owe me anything, so she chose this way…?

At that thought, all the color drained from her face, and her gaze turned vacant.

“You.”

“You really do love letting your thoughts run wild.”

A hand quietly rose to her face, pinching one soft cheek and pulling it upward.

“Mmph…!?”

Bai Zhuqing was forced into making an adorable little sound, and then violently shook her head free.

She had just been about to get angry, but then suddenly realized what Bai Xiang’s words implied.

“Big… Sister?”

She stared at Bai Xiang, her expression full of anxious uncertainty.

“What else could it possibly be?”

With both legs still submerged in the water and only her upper body resting against the bank, Bai Xiang lay on her back and reached out to pinch her younger sister’s nose again.

“Let me make this clear first.”

“Since I’ve already set my sights on you, then no matter where you run, I will drag you back and forcibly keep you by my side.”

“And don’t even think about things like ‘falling in love with someone else’ or ‘joining with someone else’… I would never allow that.”

Rеαԁ oո ΚatRеaⅾіոgСαfе

“If you really gave your heart to someone else, then whoever you fell in love with, I would kill.”

“You can only be mine… What are you laughing at?”

Bai Xiang had begun quite seriously, but by the end she truly could not continue.

Because Bai Zhuqing’s lips had already twisted into a wavering line, and she was struggling very hard not to laugh.

“N-no…” Bai Zhuqing kept holding back her laughter. “It’s just that what Big Sister just said… really…”

Mmph!

What’s wrong with it?

Wasn’t that the sort of “assurance” she wanted from me?

Bai Xiang paused, thought it through, and finally discovered where the problem lay.

The issue was that, although those words fit her personality, and fit the cold-hearted image she showed the world, they sounded embarrassingly greasy, like the declaration of some “tyrant CEO” in a cheap modern romance drama.

Now this was humiliating.

Bai Xiang frowned. This truly was not something she had anticipated.

“I’m… so happy.”

And then she heard someone bend down and whisper against her ear, while wrapping around her with both hands and feet like an octopus.

“This is something I dreamed of hearing…”

“But I need to correct one thing…”

“It’s me who will keep Big Sister trapped by my side.”

The person in her arms burrowed her head deeper, even burying her nose in the white hair by Bai Xiang’s temple, greedily breathing in that fragrance.

“I’m the one… who is going to selfishly and rudely claim Big Sister for myself.”

“Big Sister is only allowed to be good to me.”

“Big Sister… can only belong to me.”

“So your true nature has finally come out.” Bai Xiang grabbed a fistful of her younger sister’s hair and tugged, forcing her to raise her head and meet her eyes. “You may look the same as before, but somehow… now you feel much more dangerous.”

“Of course passive and active are different.”

With a soft snort, Bai Zhuqing braced one hand beside Bai Xiang and lifted the upper half of her body so that her black hair and her shadow both fell over Bai Xiang.

“Has Big Sister still not realized it?”

“Just how dangerous your own situation is…?”

Oh?

Bai Xiang came back to herself and finally realized it—because she had undone her sash from the very beginning, she had practically fought her younger sister with her chest hanging open.

Then they had fallen into the water, and after that come ashore. Her plain white mourning robe and dress were now completely soaked through, utterly useless for preserving modesty. The fabric clung tightly to every curve of her body, and many places showed pale through it.

“Big Sister actually dared to control me…”

“And then deliberately suppress your own feelings…”

“I’m going to make Big Sister die and come back to life… make Big Sister finally be honest… that will be the punishment for Big Sister’s crime…”

Bai Zhuqing bent down over her, while at the same time doing something that in the past would have been outright rebellious, outrageously rude—lifting Bai Xiang’s chin with one hand, staring directly into her eyes, and declaring each word fiercely, one by one.

“Is that so…”

Bai Xiang did not resist, simply letting her younger sister admire her.

“Then show me.”

She said it like this:

“Show me your other set of ‘sword techniques.'”

“Let me see how much progress you’ve made.”