Do You Love Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target Attacks?, Vol. 6
She held out a small dish with a spoonful of the soup in it. Might as well try it.
“…Uh, sure, I guess.”
That was the only reply he could muster.
In the clearing outside the fort, they piled stones to the right height and laid planks out on top of those.
The cauldron was in the center, perfectly stewed vegetables inside. Bowls were handed out, and lines formed.
The seating arrangement was a goblin, a goblin, goblin goblin goblin, Wise, Masato, Mamako, Porta, and another goblin goblin goblin.
“Okay, everyone! Hands together, and… Thanks for the food!”
“““Th-thanks for the food…”””
“Gyawawa!” “Gigii!” “Gyuwa!”
The goblin’s guttural cries sounded over lunch.
Terrifying visages tearing into the vegetable stew all around them, Masato quietly asked, “So…what’s going on?”
“Well, I think it’s quite obvious. The food’s ready, so we’re all eating together!”
“That’s not… I mean, why is that even an option in the first place?”
“About that… This here is the Boss Blin.”
Mamako made an introductory hand wave in the direction of a giant goblin sitting (yet, still looming) directly behind them. Built like a pro wrestler, this was less a 5-blin than an 11-blin, maybe even a 12-blin. Which were still goblins.
As for what the boss goblin had to say:
“Gugyagyagyaa! Gugya! Gugaaa!”
“You see?”
“Uh, no, that made no sense. Can you understand him?”
“I get the general idea.”
“You seriously baffle me sometimes, Mom…”
“Pfft, I bet it’s just some sort of mom support skill. Hardly a surprise at this point.”
“Yes! I’m positive that Mama can do literally anything!”
Mothers in this game had been supplied with a seemingly infinite stream of support effects. Wise and Porta were probably right on the money. Moving right along…
“Then let Mommy explain. You see, the Blins don’t know how to cook properly, so they asked Mommy to teach them how.”
“But…all the food here was stolen from the merchants’ wagons. I dunno if we should be cooking and eating that…”
“That is true… But they all seemed hungry, so I felt sorry for them.”
“Is that all it takes?”
“And we talked it out! They promised not to do anything else bad.”
“Er…no, no, it can’t be that easy.”
The goblins here were all designed to be enemies inside a game.
Their entire purpose was to do bad things! They’d been programmed that way! Mamako’s lecture couldn’t fix that!
But when he looked around at the goblins, they were all nodding. Mamako was right. They were good now. They all looked very sincere.
“Uh… I think my mom’s managed to make a system-side change… purely through the power of her momdom.”
“Mom support skills, get over it.”
“Mama can do anything! I’m sure of it!”
“Sigh… Yeah, I guess it’s high time I got used to it. Then I guess Mom reconfigured them all into good goblins.”
Just one problem.
“But just because we’re cool with that doesn’t mean the merchants they preyed on will be. What should we do about that?”
“Oh, don’t worry. I’m sure it’ll work out. After all—they’re merchants.”
Mamako seemed very confident.
The next day, at dawn, as the sky to the east was beginning to brighten…
A large number of wagons were gathered along the road through the forest, each operated by a merchant who’d been the victim of goblin attacks. Many of the wagons still bore the marks of battle.
The merchants themselves still remembered the attacks vividly. They all looked less than pleased to be here.
And the goblin pack stood before them, the boss goblin at the head. They all bowed in unison.
““““Gugyagyagya!””””
Of course, the merchants had no idea what they’d said, so they just frowned.
Interpretation was clearly required. Mamako stepped up beside the goblins, explaining.
“They all said they’re very sorry. Will you please accept their apology? Consider it a favor for me.”
“Uh, well… I did sort of get that it was an apology, but…”
“But that doesn’t erase what they’ve done!”
“If you can talk to them, let’s talk about recouping our losses! If they wanna do business, money talks.”
“I’m aware of that. Which is why…”
Mamako glanced at the goblins.
The goblins nodded and brought a number of wooden boxes forward from the forest, lining them up in front of the merchants.
Cautiously, the merchants held their lanterns out, illuminating the insides.
“Wh-whoa! This box is filled with matsutake mushrooms!”
“This one has white truffles!”
“And this one has saffron! So much saffron!”
Just as a ballpark figure:
It varies by size, but a single matsutake averages about ten thousand yen. One of the three rarest mushrooms in the world, white truffles can haul fifty thousand per one hundred grams. And saffron, a popular spice, can be worth eighty thousand yen for that same amount.
The value within the game was the same as within Japan.
Mamako gave the stunned merchants a gentle smile.
“They gathered all these within the forest and are offering them to you by way of apology… With this much, you should be out of the red, right?”
“Well, of course! Not only does it wipe the slate clean, we stand to make a fortune!” one merchant said—shiftily.
“You there! Don’t sneak them in your pocket! We’re splitting them in proportion to our losses!”
“If this is their apology, then consider it accepted! The goblins and I are even! …By the way, little lady, a word?”
“Yes?”
“Is it possible to arrange for regular trades between the products we carry and the treasures gathered within this forest? We’d love to set up an arrangement like that.”
“Of course it is! But with one condition.”
“Condition?”
“The goblins would like to continue living in the forest. They promise not to do anything else bad. I know they’re monsters, but if we could arrange it so they aren’t exterminated… What do you say?”
The merchants thought about this.
“Hmm… We’d be leaving monsters running wild… But wait. If there are goblins living here, then it’s less likely that humans will enter the forest and steal all the treasures within…”
Sensing profits, the merchants rubbed their hands together.
“It’s a deal! We’ll accept their condition. On our pride as merchants, we’ll protect this arrangement with our lives.”
“Thank you. It’s such a help.”
“If we could just get this contract signed…”
“Hey! No cutting the rest of us out!”
“We all want in on this! Here! My contract!”
The merchants all produced documents, flocking around Mamako. It was quite the to-do.
Meanwhile, the rest of the party was watching, bemused.
“…I guess that worked out?”
“Nice work, Mamako! You’ve earned my respect.”
“Mama’s amazing! Amaaaazing!”
“Indeed, she is.”
“Wait, that was one too many responses…”
Standing next to Masato, Wise, and Porta was the mysterious nun, Shiraaase.
A basket full of the forest’s bounty beneath each arm, she appeared pleased with the quest’s completion.
“This was certainly not the outcome I expected, but…I am impressed. Mamako does it again! I hope she’ll continue helping us resolve any issues we’ve been unable to take care of.”
“No, wait… That’s not the main goal here!”
“Oh, I nearly forgot. Of course, you and your mother should enjoy your adventures together, first and foremost. This is the reward for quest completion. Enjoy them together!”
“Ah, thanks… You just totally gathered these on the spot, huh? And the other one’s for personal use?”
Masato accepted a basket full of matsutake and truffles. He knew these were valuable, but it wasn’t exactly a thrilling reward.
Either way, the quest was complete.
“Sheesh… Adventuring with my mom? It’s more like I’m being dragged around in her wake.”
But Masato was starting to feel like that wasn’t so bad.