Chapter 2 Do You Love Your Mom-Turned-Homeroom Teacher?

Please let us know your opinions on combat difficulty.

I received wonderful weapons at the start, so I’ve had no trouble. The children say they want to fight tougher foes, but I think things are perfect the way they are now.

Please let us know your opinions on skills and magic.

I’d like to learn more skills that will delight the children.

If there are any skills or magic you’d like us to add, please list them here.

Loving Family Jump: a skill to jump very high with your child

Loving Family Dash: a skill to run very fast with your child in a three-legged race

Loving Family Stroll: a skill to take a walk and talk with your child

Loving Family Cooking: a skill to cook and eat with your child

Loving Family Cleaning: a skill to clean with your child and then relax in the clean room together

Loving Family Sing-Along: a skill to stand next to your child and sing together

Loving Family Loving: a skill to get along perfectly with your child

You can never have too many ultimate family-oriented moves, in my opinion!

Please let us know your opinions on the design of the fields and dungeons.

No matter where we go, we can find restrooms tucked away somewhere, which is such a relief on any adventure. If there were also shower rooms and kitchens, I’m sure our adventures would be even more comfortable.

Please let us know your opinions on quests.

The children like to shorten quests to q’s. The more they say q’s, the more I want to tell them to mind their p’s and q’s.

Part of me thinks saying that would be funny, but perhaps I’d better quit while I’m ahead.

Please let us know your opinions on NPCs.

We’ve met NPC students who weren’t even complete—they didn’t have names, and their faces were just made of symbols!

I suppose these things happen, but it was very sad, so I hope you will be able to finish everyone soon.

 

Midday. In the shade of a few trees in the center of a vast field, the party was relaxing, the remains of their lunch spread out around them.

The girls had been chattering away, but eventually they’d all drifted off to sleep. “…So heavy… Unghhh…” The one dressed in red was making odd noises, possibly because the other two were using her as a pillow. But they were sleeping more or less peacefully.

“A nap, huh? Right! I can play that game, too.”

Feeling weirdly competitive, Masato was just about to join the napping girls, when…

“You’re sleepy, too, Ma-kun? Then… Here, go ahead! Right over here!”

…Mamako’s lap swiftly appeared where he was trying to lay his head, so Masato was forced to grunt, apply the full force of his abs, and reverse momentum back into a sit-up. No adolescent boy was capable of napping on his mother’s lap.

“Oh, hey! I’m not feeling sleepy at all! I’m actually wide awake!”

“Ma-kun, you’re so silly! Go right ahead! Any time you want to, Mommy is right here.”

She seemed disinclined to give him any space today.

Mamako had her pop-up window screen open and was tapping away with one finger, typing something. Seemed like she was still working on that survey from this morning.

Masato glanced over her answers, and his brows slammed together. What she’d written was horrific.

“Every one of those ultimate co-op moves is a huge no from me! Especially Loving Family Loving, the purpose of which entirely escapes me. Please don’t suggest that!”

“Hee-hee! Loving Family Loving is for a Loving Family aiming to be more Loving to get even more Loving by Lovingly increasing their Loving Family nature! When I put it like that, it just writes itself!”

“Yeah, maybe if the most annoying person ever is writing it.”

Perhaps that was just a mom thing—or at least a Mamako thing. The fact that she really thought like this was what made it so terrifying.

“I’d object to the quest answer, too, but…more importantly, these NPC students you mentioned are from that school, right?”

“Yes, they are. You remembered!”

“Well, yeah. We weren’t there long, but we were technically classmates…”

“Mommy was there, too! Teaching, learning—it was so educational!”

“And I’m extremely worried that they’re consequently screwed for life.”

Remembering their time at the Gioco Accademia School for Adventurers always gave Masato a headache.

They’d had a female instructor.

Long beautiful legs emerging from a tight skirt.

A bountiful bosom that swayed as she walked, seemingly about to pop the buttons on her blouse, yet her gait was so light it was like she didn’t even care.

As she stepped into the classroom, she pushed her fake glasses up the bridge of her nose and called out in a syrupy voice…

“Morning, everyone! We’re going to learn so much today!”

““““Yay! Looking forward to it! Thank you!!””””

Yessss! Here we go! A young, beautiful female teacher! Hooray! A round of applause from every student. This female teacher’s name? Mamako Oosuki.

Actual mother to Masato Oosuki, who was clutching his head and moaning aloud.

“Why…why is my mother teaching? How did this even happen?”

The answer was obvious.

According to Wise, the girl to Masato’s right—a smug-looking high school Sage with curly pigtails wearing a crimson sorcerer’s jacket: “Why? Obviously, because the real teacher, Mr. Burly, is out sick, duh.”

This was true.

According to Medhi, the girl to Masato’s left—a Cleric with grades as good as her looks, a healer tunic as pure white as her insides weren’t, and your classic angelic smile: “He ate too much at our farewell party. Mr. Burly couldn’t stop eating Mamako’s cooking.”

This was also true.

According to Porta, the girl behind Masato—a twelve-year-old Traveling Merchant overflowing with youth and sprightliness, clutching a large trademark shoulder bag, her eyes gleaming: “It wasn’t Mama’s fault, but she took responsibility and agreed to teach in his place! That’s why Mama’s the teacher! Professor Mama!”

True, again. And thus, the start of their next adventure had been postponed.

They were back at Gioco Accademia. And Mamako was teacher for a day.

“Argh… Nobody even warned me… I’m only here because they told me they’d give out free points to graduates…”

“We’re still getting those once class is over; just pay attention! She’s starting.”

While her student son was in the pits of despair, his mind on the brink of death, homeroom began.

Ms. Mamako stood at the podium, smiling sweetly.

“Then let’s take attendance! If I call your name, make sure to answer loud and clear! First…”

Ms. Mamako looked down at the attendance book, preparing to call a name.

“O-oh? There aren’t any names written here! What now…?”

“Ms. Mamako! We’re all rushed NPCs, so we weren’t given names!”

“So just call out our seat numbers!”

“O-oh my! Is that true? Then…”

The NPC students were wearing sailor uniforms or stiff-collared military-style jackets, but not only had they not been given names, their faces were slapped together with ASCII art. “Um, number one.” “Here!” “Number two.” “Heeere!” This went on a bit.

Eventually, she got around to…

“Okay, next… Masato!” Ms. Mamako called, looking rather grim.

But Masato was busy yawning. “How long is this gonna take?” he muttered.

“Masato, Masato!” “Geez, just answer!” What was he doing? Couldn’t he hear?

Then it finally hit him.

“O-oh? Masato? You mean me?”

“Yes, I do. Who else?”

“R-right… Yeah… You never call me by my name, Mom, so I didn’t realize…”

“Today I’m your teacher. It would be highly unprofessional to call a student by their nickname! Let’s try this again, shall we?”

In the classroom, they might have been mother and son, but they were also teacher and student. Ms. Mamako was taking this teacher-for-a-day thing seriously.

So Ms. Mamako tried to call his name again, but…

“Okay! Masa…Ma…Ma… Oh, I feel dizzy…” Swoon.

Ms. Mamako turned pale and crouched down. She looked quite ill.

“Whoa, Mom?!”

“I-I’m fine! I’m fine…”

“You don’t look fine! What’s wrong?!”

“Y-you see, Mo—your teacher has this little quirk.”

“A quirk?! Since when?! What sort of quirk?”

“Your teacher will die if she doesn’t call you Ma-kun!”

“Huh? Where’d that come from?”

Ms. Mamako’s quirk meant calling Masato anything other than Ma-kun was fatal!

Suffering from this cruel twist of fate, yet desperately trying to be a proper teacher, impressed Wise, Medhi, and Porta so much that they ran to her with tears in their eyes.

“Ms. Mamako! Hang in there! You’re pushing yourself too hard!”

“Trying to be the best teacher you can as long as you’re in the classroom is certainly admirable, but it’s not worth risking your life over! We don’t want to lose our teacher!”

“Just call Masato what you always do, Professor Mama! Don’t force it!”

Following their lead, the rest of the class began shouting “Ms. Mamako!” “Hang in there!” “Don’t die!” They gathered around Ms. Mamako, not a dry eye present.

“Wise, Medhi, Porta, class… You’re right. I shouldn’t force myself. Thank you for your concern.”

Wise helped her up, and Ms. Mamako gazed at each NPC student in turn.

Then she faced Masato and smiled.

“In which case… Ma-kun!”

Her health was instantly restored! Ms. Mamako was feeling great! Her students cried tears of joy! Thank goodness! The classroom teacher should be smiling! Hooray!

While that was going on…

One student was unable to join in: Masato.

“Uh… What is this two-bit Oscar-bait school drama? Should I be mocking you openly? Is that my role here?”

Mamako was a given, but for all the girls to take her side?

That left Masato all alone.

Masato was in for a very tough day.

---

Once attendance was complete, homeroom was over.

First period began immediately. Once again, the teacher at the podium was Ms. Mamako.

“Okay, let’s get started! First period is game basics. Let’s all apply ourselves!”

Ms. Mamako opened the textbook to begin her lecture…or so they thought.

Instead, she froze up, staring blankly at the page.

“O-oh my… Um…”

“Mm? What’s wrong, Mom—I mean…Ms. Mamako?”

“N-no, no… It’s nothing. I’m fine. Momm—I mean, your teacher is fine. Er… Account creation… First obtain a game ID… ID? What’s an ID…? Is it a new disc type like a CD or an MD?”

Presumably, Ms. Mamako was looking at information about how to start playing an online game.

But she seemed to understand almost none of it. She was stumbling over the most basic jargon.

Of course she is. Mom doesn’t know anything about online games.

Ms. Mamako was originally a housewife. This was definitely not her field.

But if the textbook didn’t make any sense to her…

“Um… A-anyway, this is about how to start playing games. In which case… I know!”

Ms. Mamako abruptly closed the textbook and turned to the class.

“Let me ask you all a question,” she said. “Have any of you ever played a game with your mothers? Everyone who has, raise your hand!”

No one was sure where she was going with this, but a few students raised their hands.

“Uh, well, I have. Like, I am right now…”

“Yeah, technically, my mom and I are playing this together, so I qualify.”

“As do I. So I’ll raise my hand…What about you, Porta?”

“M-me? Uh, um… I guess…technically…”

The students with their hands up were Masato, Wise, Medhi, and (not very high) Porta. None of the other students raised their hands.

Ms. Mamako nodded, as if she’d expected this.

“Yes, thank you. You can put your hands down now. I thought there might not be many… Very well. Let’s learn!”

Ms. Mamako turned around and wrote Gaming with Mommy on the board.

“Maybe some of you are thinking you could never game with your mother. But don’t worry! If you listen to your teacher carefully, I’ll make it so all of you can. First, Ma-kun.”

“What? I mean… Yes, Ms. Mamako?”

“Do you remember how the two of us started playing this game?”

“Well… Uh, I think it started when you applied for something without asking me…”

“Yes. In our case, that’s all it took! And we ended up inside this game together. But it’s also possible for children to file that application.”

“Oh? It is?”

He hadn’t known that. Masato was actually learning things!

…Wait.

“…Mm? Something’s not adding up…”

“But be careful when you’re applying. I’m sure your mother wants to play with you, but she had to look after the house, and if she’s busy, it’s best to consult her first…”

“Uh, hold on, Ms. Mamako. I seem to recall you not consulting your son beforehand. Like, at all.”

“Oh! R-right! I’m very sorry about that! I was so excited about getting closer to you it never even occurred to me! I can’t apologize enough.”

“Uh, sure. Apology accepted. But moving on… That’s not my point.”

“Oh? What is?”

“What you’re explaining is how to start playing the game we’re all inside, MMMMMORPG (working title).”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“But uh… Is that really useful information for characters that are already in the game?”

He glanced at the other students. His party was composed of test players, and they were following along just fine, but the rest of the class looked confused. Like they had no idea what Ms. Mamako was talking about.

After all, every one of these students was an NPC built for the game.

Explaining how to get from the real world to the game world was not at all useful or even comprehensible.

“Oh my! I’m sorry; that was careless of me.”

“Uh, well, no big deal. I learned something anyway.”

“Then we’d better change course… Um… Oh, I know! I have the perfect thing!”

With a flourish and a big smile, Ms. Mamako produced a booklet. The title:

MOM ADVENTURE DRILLS

On the cover was a cartoonish drawing of Ms. Mamako’s face.

“…Uh, Ms. Mamako? What is that?”

“Classroom materials! Ms. Shiraaase prepared these for me in her capacity as the school’s acting headmaster.”

“Shiraaase made it… That alone fills me with dread…”

“Let’s solve these problems together!”

Ms. Mamako handed out a copy of the booklet to every student. “First… Let’s go with this one.”

She wrote a problem on the board.

[         ] attacks. The monster horde is defeated.

And now, the question.

“What word goes in the blank space? Raise your hand if you know!”