Do You Love Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target Attacks?, Vol. 6

Masato really didn’t want to, but since he was technically in school, he gave it some thought.

This is clearly combat…so the key here is the monster “horde.”

The blank must be the name of a job. One good at AOE and multi-target attacks.

But then…

“Ms. Mamako, allow me to answer,” said Medhi, the beautiful straight A student.

“Yes, Medhi. What’s your answer?”

“I believe the blank is best filled with Mom.”

[Mom attacks. The monster horde is defeated.]

That was certainly the default state for Masato’s party. Clearly.

“Yes! That’s right. Well done, Medhi. A wonderful answer. You’re so clever!”

“No, not at all. This is simply the result of my mother’s upbringing. She may have gone a little overboard at times, but… Rrgh…”

Bad memories came flooding back, and Medhi started quietly kicking the leg of her desk. But she was correct.

The other students were very impressed.

“Ohhh… The answer is Mom!”

“Mom beats all the monsters.”

“Moms are amazing! I had no idea.”

“Yo, classmates! That only applies to my mom. It’s not typical or anything! Just wanted to be clear.”

False information would hardly help anyone, so he tried to clarify… But were any classmates listening?

Moving right along.

“Next problem… Yes, I think this one will do!”

Ms. Mamako checked her booklet and wrote on the board.

The hero held [         ] aloft. A blinding light shone forth. The veil of darkness shrouding the demon lord was torn away.

The next problem.

“Anyone know? If you—”

“I know! I know! Pick me! This one’s sooo easy!”

Wise was going full-tilt boogie with the hand raising.

“The answer is Mom, right? Right?!”

[The hero held Mom aloft. A blinding light shone forth. The veil of darkness shrouding the demon lord was torn away.]

Yeah…

“Uh, Wise, that doesn’t even make—”

“Yes! You’re correct, Wise.”

“Hell yeah! The Ultimate Sage rules again!”

Wise was, apparently, correct.

But how?!

“Huh? She’s right? No, no, wait, Mo—Ms. Mamako! That can’t be right! Please tell me it isn’t!”

“No, she’s correct! I mean, moms do glow! See?” Glowww!

Ms. Mamako activated A Mother’s Light! A blinding light shone from Ms. Mamako’s body!

Bathed in this warm, soft light, the students were very impressed.

“Wow! Moms really do glow!”

“Amazing! I never knew moms could glow!”

“Hey, hey, wait, wait! That’s not true! They don’t usually glow! My mom’s just weird like that!”

“Oh, and Masato, you’re a Hero! So you held Mamako aloft to fight a demon lord? You’re amazing…!”

“Of course I didn’t! Don’t be ridiculous! Use your head! That would never happen!”

Masato’s desperate denials were no match for the evidence of a glowing Mamako.

Moving right along:

“Next! Oh, this one’s a little tricky.”

Ms. Mamako wrote the problem on the board.

Kindly villager: Don’t forget your [         ]! Pick the equip option!

What now?

“This is a line of dialogue a villager says. A piece of advice for adventurers, I suppose? If anyone—”

“Yep.”

Masato raised his hand. He knew where this was going.

“Yes, Ma-kun? What’s the answer?”

“The answer is new gear. Obviously.”

The kindly villager was reminding adventurers, “Don’t forget your new gear! Pick the equip option!”

Standard RPG stuff. Advice new players needed. There was nearly always an NPC in the first village who reminded people of this.

Anyone who’d ever played an RPG would know that…

“Oh no. Ma-kun, that’s incorrect!”

Ms. Mamako looked very disappointed.

Wait, what?

“Huh? Mo—Ms. Mamako, how is that wrong? It’s clearly the right answer!”

“I’m sorry, Ma-kun. I’d love to say you’re right, but the drill book has a different answer.”

“A different… Oh, Shiraaase wrote that drill book, right? That makes it all suspect.”

“I’m really sorry. Does anyone else know?”

“Yes! I might know!” Porta bounced up in her seat, hand up.

Masato wasn’t about to ruin her chance to answer. He put his frustration aside and listened.

“Yes, Porta? What’s your answer?”

“Um, um… The answer is mom!”

[The kindly villager said, “Don’t forget your mom! Pick the equip option.”]

Wait, that doesn’t even…

“Amazing! Porta, you’re right!”

“Oh! I did it! I’m so glad!”

“Wow! Porta, good j— No, waaaaaait! Porta? Portaaa?! This isn’t like you! You don’t usually play along with this kind of dumb joke!”

“Wow! You can equip your mom?”

“I never knew! I wonder what it’s like!”

“Moms can defeat monster hordes, glow, and be equipped! Moms are amazing!”

“Classmaaaaates! You’re learning lies! None of this is true! Please, come to your senses!”

“Okay, next problem!”

“You can’t just breeze past thiiiis!”

Masato was on the verge of an aneurysm, but it was time to move on.

[         ] Adventure Drills are on sale at a bookstore near you!

What could go in that blank?

“We get the joke alreadyyyyyyy! The answer’s always gonna be mom, and this drill book will never be on sale anywhere!”

“I think it is, actually! Ms. Shiraaase said there were already over a million copies in print!”

“A m-m-million?! A million copies of these drills?! Has the entire country gone mad?!”

[Mom Adventure Drills are on sale at a bookstore near you!]

At every bookstore inside the game world, at least.

---

Second period—gym class.

The students had all changed into gym uniforms and gathered on the field, Masato’s party among them. Each had large tags with their names on their chests.

“When did they make these?”

“Apparently, Mamako made them all this morning. Handmade gym uniforms!” Medhi gestured to the name tag on her chest. It was being propped up significantly by her prodigious… Nope, focus on the name tag. Just the name tag.

“She must have had her hands full making breakfast, but she still did all this? That’s amazing!”

Porta was wearing a very cute name tag. She was jumping up and down excitedly, and the bottom of her shirt kept lifting up, revealing her belly button. But he was looking at her name tag.

“Well, Mamako is the super-mom. Ha-ha!” Wise laughed as if this were her accomplishment, puffing up her name tag.

Or rather, puffing up her chest? No, no, she didn’t have one of those.

But Masato quietly filed the other images away in his mental diary.

“…So? Why isn’t the super-one here?”

Masato looked around, but there was no sign of her. The bell had already rang. Class should have started…

Then:

“Sorry, everyone! I didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”

Ms. Mamako came running toward them.

Her ponytail trailed in the wind, her generous bosom bouncing all around inside her tracksuit.

Gym teacher version Ms. Mamako appeared!

Already sweaty.

“Hah, hah… S-sorry, everyone! I accidentally went to the gym instead… Hah, hah… Ma-kun, everyone, I’m so sorry!”

“Uh, yeah, sure, no big deal. You’re really sweaty there, Mom.”

“I was in such a hurry… Whew. Maybe I’d better take this jacket off!”

“Go ahead. Suit yourself.”

“Okay…”

Ms. Mamako lowered the zipper on her tracksuit jacket and started to peel it off.

The gym shirt under it was soaked in sweat and translucent.

You could clearly see the elegantly embroidered, brightly colored bra beneath. “Put that back on! Now!” “Huh? O-okay!” Her son was not about to let that slide.

Now, then. Students and teacher, all present.

“Well, let’s get class started. Let’s all exercise together!”

““““Yes, Ms. Mamako!””””

“…Sigh… I hope this doesn’t get too weird…”

Masato was anxious, but everyone else seemed excited.

Today was track and field.

“First, sprinting! Everyone, try your best!”

Following Ms. Mamako’s instructions, the students gathered at the start of the hundred-meter lane. Running four at a time, by order of seat number.

Ms. Mamako was the starter.

“On your mark! Get set… Mom it!”

““““Yeahhhhhh!””””

The runners were off! Full-speed dash!

And a moment later, they’d run the full hundred meters and crossed the finish line!

“Oh my! You’re all so good! So fast! Right, Ma-kun?”

“Uh, sure… They’re pretty fast… But about that start signal…”

“Next set of four! On your mark! Get set… Mom it!”

““““Rarghhhhhhhhhhhh!””””

The next set of students went into their dash, ignoring Masato’s quiet protest. In a moment, they were past the finish line! “Why are they so serious about this…?” He had no clue, but…they sure were fast!

And next up was his party.

First lane: Masato.

“Sigh… I so don’t wanna…”

Second lane: Wise.

“Ha! I may be a Mage, but that doesn’t mean I’m not athletic!”

Third lane: Medhi.

“I would say I’m rather good at this. At the very least, I’m sure I can beat Wise.”

Fourth lane: Porta.

“I’ll try my best!”

All four at the starting line, crouching, ready for the moment.

Time for battle. The signal from Ms. Mamako!

“Get set… Mom it!”

And they were off! “Ha!” Medhi’s form was perfect. “Argh!” “Whoa!” Wise and Porta were still in it, running as fast as they could!

Meanwhile…

“Sigh… To hell with this…”

Masato was slowly jogging behind them.

“Oh, I forgot to mention! Whoever comes in last gets special private training with your teacher after school!”

“To hell with THAAAAT!”

Masato went into a headlong dash! Fleeing that nightmare, escaping his certain doom!

Masato ran! “Whoaaa!” He passed Porta. “Hey!” Passed Wise. “No!” Drew even with Medhi and then pushed ahead.

Masato placed first!

“Hell yeah!”