Do You Love Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target Attacks?, Vol. 6
Nothing made him go faster than the threat of extra lessons. He dominated.
Medhi was second, Wise was third.
“Second… My mother would be furious…” Medhi hung her head.
“Hey, Medhi! No getting depressed here! Your mother’s learned to forgive this stuff, remember?!”
Medhi’s dark power was starting to leak out.
More importantly…
“Aw… I came in last…”
Shame. Porta was fourth. The moment she reached the goal, she looked so sad.
This would never do. The other party members flocked around her.
“Er, uh… Cheer up, Porta! There’s always next time!”
“Th-that’s right! You’re still only twelve!”
“And we’re all in high school! So you can’t let this get to you, okay?”
“That’s right,” Ms. Mamako said, racing over. “It doesn’t matter what place you’re in. All that matters is that you try your best.”
“Yes!” Porta chirped, breaking into a smile. “I ran as fast as I could! So I’m just fine!”
A full recovery. Whew.
But at this point, Ms. Mamako turned and said, “Now it’s my turn to try!”
“Uh, what? Ms. Mamako, you’re gonna run? …Can you even do that?”
“Of course I can! I know how to run! I might even beat you, Ma-kun!”
“Huh…”
Was that really possible?
It certainly roused his competitive spirit.
“Ha-ha-ha!” he said. “Interesting. You think you can beat me? Ohhh? Then let’s find out! Ms. Mamako against me! One-on-one!”
“Goodness! A race between mother and son? How lovely! Let’s do it!”
Masato was crackling with excitement, and Mamako was all smiles—like fireworks racing flowers!
Hasty preparations. Masato vs Ms. Mamako! Hundred-meter dash!
“Commentary provided by yours truly, Wise, and…”
“And me, Medhi… Not that there seems to be much to comment on.”
“Yeah, good point. Guess we’ll just cheer them on normally, then.”
Wise and Medhi sat down nearby, watching. So did the rest of the students.
Masato and Ms. Mamako stood at the starting line.
“Ms. Mamako, this is a serious contest. I’ll be giving it everything I’ve got, so don’t you show me any mercy.”
“Oh, of course! I’ll do the same…and I have a secret plan.”
“Oh, do you? Ha-ha. I have no idea what that could be, but go ahead! Try it. I’ll still win in the end.”
Promising to make this a fair fight, they crouched down.
Wise doubled as the starter, but just before she gave the signal…
…Mamako started whispering.
“Just imagine it… It’s early in the morning… Ma-kun left the house without eating breakfast…and he forgot his lunch. That’s right. I have to get it to him! I have to catch him and give Ma-kun his lunch!”
“Uh, wait…”
A terrifying aura was seeping out of Ms. Mamako.
On your mark.
“Here we go… Get set… Mom it!”
And they’re off!
The second the signal arrived, Ms. Mamako was off like a rocket!
“Ma-kun! Don’t forget your luuuuunch!”
“Wahhh! She’s talking crazy but also crazy fast?!”
Masato hastily broke into a sprint, but Ms. Mamako was already in the lead, running like the wind.
By the time Masato crossed the thirty-meter mark, Ms. Mamako was already at the goal!
“Here’s your lunch! Hee-hee! I did it!”
“Hoooooowwww?! There’s no way you’re that fast!”
Her time was 3.88—nothing official and only a mom record.
Masato rolled in for a belated finish, utterly demoralized. He collapsed to his knees in front of Ms. Mamako.
“Wh-what was that…? How was that even possible?”
“That was your teacher’s secret plan! I called it Operation: A Mother’s Feelings.”
“A Mother’s Feelings?”
“That’s right! Your teacher was running with A Mother’s Feelings of bringing her son a lunch. That’s why I was so fast.”
“Th-that’s ridiculous! There’s no way you can run that fast! I won’t accept this… As the last bastion of common sense around here, I refuse!”
He stomped the ground angrily.
The other students ignored him, surrounding Ms. Mamako.
“Ms. Mamako! You were amazing!”
“How do you run so fast? Can you give us some tips?”
“Hee-hee. Well, I used a secret technique.”
“A secret technique… And if we use that secret technique, can we run fast, too?”
“Of course!”
“No, they caaaan’t! Nobody caaaan! Arghhh… You leave me no choice! I’ll have to prove what truth is! All of you, go ahead! Use this secret technique if you like! I’ll take you on!”
That did it. Now it was Masato vs every misguided student NPC.
There was no way he was going to accept that anything as dumb as A Mother’s Feelings could raise athletic ability. Masato swore he would win. He took his place on the starting line.
The moment of truth. They were off!
First round:
“Go, everyone! A Mother’s Feelings! On your mark… Get set… Mom it!”
“Ridiculous! This can’t possibly make them—!”
“Today is burnable trash day! But the sanitation truck is already here! I have to get the garbage bag to the curb!” Whoosh!
The winner: seat number one.
Second round:
“Get set… Mom it!”
“Argh! Th-this can’t be happening! It can’t—!”
“Only five minutes before the flash sale at the supermarket ends! I have to hurry!” Whoooosh!
The victor: seat number two.
Third round:
“Mom it!”
“W-wait! Waaaait! This is all wrong!”
“Oh, my child’s cram school is letting out! There’s been a lot of crime lately! I’d better be there to meet them!” Whoooooooooooooooooosh!
In the lead: seat number three.
And so on and so forth…
The final results:
“Ms. Mamako, you’re amazing! We were all so much faster! Every student easily beat Masato!”
“Ms. Mamako was right! I’m so impressed.”
“I’ve never been athletic, but running this fast is amazing! I’m so glad you were our teacher today!”
“Professor Mama! I want to run some more! I want to have more fun doing sports!”
“Hee-hee. I’m so glad to hear it. Let’s keep this up and enjoy PE together!”
““““Yeah!””””
The crowd around Ms. Mamako cheered.
Meanwhile…
“Hahhh… Hahhh… Unacceptable… It’s just too dumb… I won’t stand for it…”
Utterly exhausted, Masato breathed his last, all alone.
(No, he’s not actually dead.)
“…Hahhh… Arghhh… I’m so done… No more… Do whatever you want… Just leave me out of it.”
“Sheesh, Masato. Quit sulking!”
“That’s right, Masato. You can’t just abandon your purpose in life.”
“What do you mean by that? I’m not just here to scream comedic protests, you know!”
“Masato! Hang in there! Keep screaming!”
“Ugh… Porta’s encouragement definitely makes me want to keep trying, but…but…”
No matter how hard he tried, Masato’s efforts would prove futile.
After all, the next period was…
“Okay, everyone! The moment you’ve been waiting for! Third and fourth periods are two whole hours of home economics! Hee-hee!”
That apron looked all too fitting on Ms. Mamako. Like she said, it was time to cook.
The home ec class had all manner of cooking utensils and experiment apparatuses.
Mamako and cooking—they went hand in hand.
Ms. Mamako was preparing to teach the subject she was best at, so naturally, people were excited. Amazing dishes would come out one after another to cheers, applause, and admiration.
The outcome was obvious.
“Sigh… There’s no point even trying to convince anyone…”
“Ms. Mamako is amazing!” was now a foregone conclusion.
So Masato collapsed on a desk, determined to just let it all happen.
“Let’s begin…is what I’d love to say,” Ms. Mamako began, looking very sorry. “But there’s just one problem. We don’t actually have any ingredients! So we can’t cook anything.”
“…Huh?”
Masato had not been expecting this, and that was enough to make him sit up.
No ingredients? Ms. Mamako was clearly right. There were tons of utensils but no actual food.
How could class happen now?
“Oh… Does that mean class is dismissed? It does, right? Please say it does.”
If Mamako’s class failed, the weird delusions everyone had about her would be shattered. The world would make sense once more.
Masato was already pumping his fist, but…
“So I think the first thing we should do today is go gather some ingredients!”
…Ms. Mamako had already defeated him. She seemed quite fired up about the whole thing.
“Gather them how? …Um, Ms. Mamako! A word?”
“Yes, Ma-kun? What is it?”
“You mean you want us going shopping, right? But is that a good idea? We can’t leave the school grounds during class, right? Right?”
Masato was being quite insistent. Even he knew how aggravating this sounded.
But that was fine. No ingredients meant no cooking and an end to his mother’s reign of perfection. If he could just block them from leaving the grounds…
But Ms. Mamako just smiled.
“That is true! As strange as he’s acting, Ma-kun has a point.”
“Strange? Okay, fair, I’d noticed that myself, but still!”
“But at a time like this, all we have to do is borrow a little mom power, and the problem goes away!”
“Huh? No, that wouldn’t—”
“Hee-hee. But it will! Let me show you. Everyone, please gather at the windows.”
The students did as they were told. Even Masato reluctantly joined, standing at the very edge of the crowd.
Ms. Mamako opened the window and asked the enthusiastic students, “Now then, question for everyone. Where do the ingredients we normally eat come from?”
“Where? From grocery stores.”
“That’s right. But where do the grocery stories get them?”
“I believe they get them from farmers and ranchers. Fishermen, too.”
“And where do the people in those occupations get their products?”
“Oh! Fields! Ranches! And the ocean!”
“That’s correct. So here’s the problem. Can we personify the land where fields and ranches lie? And the sea?”
The students all looked at one another. A realization dawned on them.
One of them (a certain son) let out the biggest possible sigh and tried to leave the room. But never mind him.
The others all cried out together.
““““The earth and the sea are both mothers!””””
“That’s right! Full marks! Now let me show you a mother’s power!”
Mamako held a sword in both hands.
In her right hand, the crimson Holy Sword of Mother Earth, Terra di Madre.
In her left hand, the deep-blue Holy Sword of Mother Ocean, Altura.
She pointed both swords out the window.
“Mother Earth, Mother Ocean… If you are mothers, you know how I feel. These children want to learn about cooking. And once they have, imagine them standing in the kitchen with their own mothers. Wouldn’t that be nice? If you know how that feels, lend me your power!”
Both mothers immediately answered her call.
A massive pillar of earth appeared in town, and a massive waterspout shot up from the sea.
The two columns toppled toward the school.
At the tips of each were a grocery store and a ship, respectively. They stopped just outside the classroom windows.
“Yikes?! Wh-wh-what’s going on?”
“H-how is this even possible?”
The grocery store owner and the fisherman were beside themselves.
But Mamako just smiled.
“Sorry for the sudden intrusion! We’re about to hold a home economics class, and we’re fresh out of ingredients.”
“Huh? Ingredients for class? Gee, what perfect timing! I don’t mean to foist my leftovers on you, but I’ve got plenty of ingredients I’m not likely to sell! Go ahead and use them!”
“I’ve got plenty to offer myself! I got a big haul today, too many fish to ever package for sale! If I don’t do something, they’ll start to rot, and that’s hardly fair to the sea! Go on, take them!”
The friendly owner and fisherman began handing supplies through the window—meat, veggies, fruit, fish, shellfish, and seaweed.
Also, an earthen tentacle had bound and gagged Masato—“Hngggg?! Mmmph!”—and deposited him next to the mountains of ingredients.
Supplies obtained!
“Oh my! So many! Such a help. I’d be happy to settle the tab later.”
“No charge! It’s all for educational purposes, right? Learn how to cook, kids. And if you want to know more about these ingredients, just tell people to come by my shop!”
“Same goes for me! Fishing’s the best job around! We’re always hiring! Come on by!”
Both seemed more interested in hiring than collecting payment. Sign of the times, perhaps.
The two pillars slowly retreated, taking the shop and boat back to where they belonged.
And…
“Th-this is the power of a mother! Amazing! Ms. Mamako’s amazing!”
“I had no idea mothers had such power. No idea!”
“Mother Earth and Mother Ocean… We’ve been living in harmony with such maternal power all this time… And our teacher is a mother like Ms. Mamako! My heart belongs to mothers everywhere!”
This overwhelming spectacle had left the students unable to think about anything but mothers! Mothers were the best! Hooray for Ms. Mamako!
And of course…
“All right, everyone! Let’s start the class! We’ll be making lunches. The menu is up to you! Choose any ingredients you like.”
““““Okay!””””
Time to cook. Ms. Mamako’s reign began, as predictable as it was unavoidable.
“Now, should I cook something, too?”
“I’m dying to watch you cook, Ms. Mamako!” said Wise.
“Yes, I believe we could learn a lot from observing her,” added Medhi.
“What ingredients will Professor Mama pick?!”
“Your teacher will pick… Well, of course! Hee-hee…”
“Hngg?! Hngggggg?! Mmmph!”
Feeling a syrupy gaze on him, the largest ingredient in the room began thrashing around.
The ingredient Ms. Mamako picked was a lively, fresh son.
Lunch break.
Having nearly been cooked himself, Masato was staring at the son she did cook.
“How am I supposed to eat a lunch made to look like my own face?”
His own face (far too real) staring back up at him, Masato let out the longest sigh yet.
Fifth period.
Normally, another subject was supposed to happen, but instead, it was even more home economics.
Which meant…
“Ms. Mamako! Teach us about moms!”
“We want to learn more about moms!”
“I feel like learning about moms will lead to answers…answers to the things we’ve been questioning all along!”
“Very well. Then I’ll teach you everything I know!”
Faced with this fervent desire, home economics class continued.
This time they were focused on another core mom skill: cleaning.
In the center of the classroom stood Ms. Mamako, broom in hand.
“First, let me show you the basics of Mom Cleaning. Watch carefully as I clean.”
Ms. Mamako began sweeping the floor, keeping a steady rhythm.
She appeared to just be cleaning normally.
The students gathered around watched intently, so as not to miss a thing. Taking this very seriously.
Masato watched from a distance, shaking his head.
“Come on! What could you possibly get out of this? I don’t get it.”
She’d shown them one too many of Mom’s AMAAAAAAAAAAZING moments, and they’d all lost their marbles. That explained it.
But if so, this situation was dire indeed.
I’d better do something before… Yeah, I will do something! I’m the hero!
It was his job to right the world’s wrongs. Feeling a strong sense of duty, Masato stepped up, ready to take action…
But then Wise came over.
“Oh, please. Masato, if you don’t get the point of Ms. Mamako’s cleaning, you’ve got a lot to learn. You’re an unfit mother.”
“I’m not even a mother in the first place! And sure, I’ve got plenty to learn, but…what meaning could cleaning possibly have? This is pointless.”
“No, it’s not. Just watch me, and you’ll understand. See?”
“I’m watching, and I don’t— Wha—?!”
In that moment, Masato witnessed something mind-blowing.
Wise had a broom in her hands and was sweeping the floor. The problem was how she was doing it.
Wise was sweeping diagonally downward to the left and then to the right—and then she’d repeat the motion. Almost as if she was drawing an M with the broom.
He looked at Ms. Mamako and saw she was sweeping the same way.
And…
“…Ah! Medhi, too!”
Medhi was spraying cleaning fluid on the windows—but the suds on the windowpanes were forming an M.
Also…
“Ahhh! Even Porta?!”
…Porta was wiping that fluid, and her hands were moving in an M shape!
And that’s not all! Students cleaning the blackboard under Ms. Mamako’s supervision, students wiping down the walls, students cleaning the desks—they all were tracing M shapes!
Finally…
“…What the—?! N-no… No! I’m doing it, too?!”
Masato found himself holding a broom, sweeping M shapes on the floor. Since when?!
As he gaped in horror, the girls whispered to him.
“Masato. Calm your heart and watch what’s happening.”
“M is for Mom—mothers are cleaning everything, making it beautiful.”
“Cleaning the room means cleaning your own heart!”
“Cleaning…my heart…”
Yes. Cleaning a room the mom way also cleaned out the heart of the one doing the cleaning.
Moms swept out the unnecessary hang-ups that had accumulated within.
That was what Mom Cleaning really meant: the overwhelming effect of cleaning like a mom.
The negative emotions festering within me… They’re all fading…
Every inch of his heart purified in the name of mothers everywhere.
Being cleaned by moms was so comforting. Refreshing.
Like the proverbial scales falling from his eyes. And not just an expression.
“I… What have I been doing? Why have I been against something so amazing?”
“Sheesh. Took you long enough to figure it out.”
“Yes. Even Masato understands now.”
“Great, Masato! Help us Mom Clean!”
“Yeah! I think I will! I’d love to Mom Clean!”
And with every heart polished mom-style, all accepted the truth about how wonderful moms were.
Mamako’s day as a teacher was over.
“I hate to leave, but we must head to our next adventure. Let’s go home.”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
Turning her back on the school, Mamako slowly walked away. The rest of the party shook off their lingering attachments and followed after.
Then…
“Ms. Mamako! Wait!”
Students came pouring out of the gates—Ms. Mamako’s students.
“Ms. Mamako! I wish you could be our teacher forever!”
“But we know you have to go. We understand! So we won’t stop you. We just want you to know how we feel!”
“We’re going to be fine! You taught us so many important things! You showed us the path forward!”
Their ASCII-art faces shedding tears, the students threw themselves bodily into their emotional outburst. Boys and girls alike, all said the same thing, as one:
““““Someday, I’ll be a wonderful mother just like Ms. Mamako!””””
Now that they knew how wonderful a mother could be, they all aspired to be one. Their paths in life were determined!
And they had words for their rival, too.
“Masato! Someday I’ll be a wonderful mother. When that happens, fight me again! We’ll see which of us is the better mother!”
“Damn straight! I’m the Mother Hero, and I won’t run from any fight! Come at me!”
“Wise! Medhi! We’ll fight you, too!”
“Ha! Works for me! My chain-mom skills will prove who’s the better mother!”
“I’ll never lose a battle of mom spells. I’ll kick you out of my way! Heh-heh-heh.”
“Porta! We’ll battle with our mom creation skills!”
“Yes! I’ll never lose a battle of mom creation!”
They vowed to meet again and test their skills once more.
But for today, they had to part.
With a beautiful smile, Mamako bid the students farewell.
“Be well, everyone! The next time we meet, we’ll all be moms!”
And she did not turn back again. There was no need.
The students’ tears would lead them to their futures.
As the party walked away…
“What the hell is going oooooooooon?! Stop this madnesssss!!”
…Masato regained his sanity, and his scream of horror echoed across the night sky.