Do You Love Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target Attacks?, Vol. 6
“No, I was just kidding! Don’t go look! Don’t take this seriously, please!”
All good mothers do their best to accept everything about their beloved sons, but sometimes this just makes things worse.
The next day was the day of the ball.
The girls were all dressed to the nines…and Masato was just as he always was.
“Wait… Why isn’t Masato wearing a gown?! Hee-hee.”
“Look, I said that was just a joke! The stupid Heavenly Kings—!”
“Masato, you’re just embarrassing yourself. Stop making excuses.”
“I hate to say it, but blaming the enemy? It’s unbecoming for a Hero.”
“I’m telling the truth! I swear!”
“I promise to believe you if you spoil me a lot!”
“Come on and—no, keep it to a minimum! Everyone’s staring…”
Reeling from the relentless teasing and attempts to grab his arm, Masato somehow made it through the castle gates.
This was where the ball was to take place—a sublime time spent in an elegant location, perfect for meeting the partner of your dreams… With that in mind, the queen had opened all floors to the public.
The castle was filled with people, both men and women, engaged in conversation. Each doing their best to find the perfect partner.
The guest of honor, Rika, was wearing a dress with a dramatic bare back. She was raring to go. Kanako was with her, wearing a crisp suit: formal yet feminine.
“Here it goes… I can finally court the prince!”
“That’s right. You’ll greet him, apologize for all of this, and then we’ll go right home.”
“Mom?! Don’t say that, even as a joke!”
“Of course. I wasn’t joking. I meant every word. Sorry.”
“Argh! You just be quiet, Mom! This is my ball!”
Kanako was as unenthused as Rika was wildly enthusiastic, and they headed in, bickering away.
Masato’s party followed awkwardly.
“…Kanako’s dead set against this, huh?”
“Yeah. As a mother, she must have plenty of concerns.”
“I guess I have trouble seeing her perspective…but it definitely is starting to feel like Kanako’s going to be the biggest obstacle in solving this problem.”
“Oh? Mommy thinks Kanako will be the key to making this all work out!”
“Let’s hope you’re right… Mm?”
Rika had suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, carefully scanning the crowd around her.
“I don’t see the prince anywhere… He must be somewhere else.”
“You simply weren’t destined to meet! Time to leave—”
“We are not leaving! Shut up, Mom!”
“Should we summon him for you? Mamako can hoist that flag anytime.”
“She can?! Then… No, we’d better not. Him appearing now would be unwise.”
“Is there a problem?”
“If the prince appears, he’ll be swarmed by other girls. We won’t have a chance to talk in peace. So first…I need to destroy all these other girls!”
“Uh… This is a ball.”
“Exactly! And what is a ball but a battlefield where you lay your life on the line?! A battle to the death over who snags the prince and who has him snatched away! That’s why…”
But even as Rika got fired up…
“My, my, what a barbarian. Tee-hee.”
“This is why I cannot abide commoners. Tee-hee.”
“Thinks she’s going to snag the prince—has she not seen her own face in a mirror? Tee-hee.”
Three ladies appeared, each in a jewel-encrusted nouveau riche dress—one gold, one silver, and one bronze.
Rika steeled herself.
“Heh… Here they are… Brace yourselves for combat!”
“Okay, but…how exactly should we do that?”
“Just do as I tell you! First… Wise! Walk past those three!”
“Huh? I’m up? Fine, whatever. Here goes nothing…”
Wise walked right past the three ladies. Just walking normally.
But as she did, she suddenly tripped. “Wha—? Augh?!” She fell flat on her face, exposing the fancy red panties she’d acquired just for the occasion.
The lady in the gold dress sneered down at her. “Oh dear… Tripping over nothing? What is wrong with you? Tee-hee.”
It had definitely looked like Wise had tripped herself up for no reason…
But the truth did not escape Porta’s eagle eyes.
“Masato! I saw it! The gold lady quickly stuck her foot out and tripped Wise!”
“Wh-what the heck?”
“As I thought… Mean ladies always have a powerful low kick!”
“Yeah, in fighting games!”
“If you knew that, you shouldn’t have sent me into the trap! Argh, now I’m pissed! …Hey, you!”
Wise bounded to her feet, facing down the gold lady.
They glared at each other, standing so close their noses almost touched.
“You think you’re funny, huh? Well, you don’t know nothing.”
“Hmm? What are you talking about?”
“We’ve got someone far meaner than you’ll ever be. Small-fry tactics like yours don’t stand a chance against us!”
Wise grinned and stomped on her opponent’s foot.
“Ow! Wh-what are you doing?!”
“Oh… What do you mean? I’m not doing anything!”
“Tch… If that’s the way you want to play…!”
The lady in the gold dress glanced at the lady in the silver dress. The silver lady quietly stepped forward and tried to kick Wise in the shin.
But as fast as her kick was, Medhi’s foot intercepted it.
“How…?!”
“I have no idea who Wise could be referring to…but she’s right about you ladies being small fries. You don’t even know how to kick properly.”
“Tch… You little—!”
“And your expressions just aren’t cutting it. If you really want to look threatening, do this.”
An ominous aura sprang up around her, followed by a low rumbling.
“Eeeeek?! She’s terrifying! H-help!”
The bronze lady looked around for assistance, but…
“No! I won’t let you leave!”
“Wha—? Hey, let go! Who is this child?!”
…Porta had latched on to her and held her still.
“We’ve got these ladies handled!”
“Masato, Mamako, the rest is up to you! I know you’ll have Rika’s back!”
“Make sure she can meet the prince! I’m cheering for you!”
“Oh…! Thank you, everyone! I’ll never forget your sacrifice! …Come on, Masato! Step over the corpses of your fallen comrades! Onward!”
“Nobody’s died, but sure, let’s go.”
Rika had tears streaming down her face, and Masato was totally not prepared to handle that.
But the battle known as courtship was proceeding to the next stage.
They moved from the entrance farther into the castle. This area was filled with open rooms—ornately decorated reception rooms, parlors where tea was being served, and so on.
The crowds showed no signs of thinning. Some enjoying themselves, some clearly stressing it; couples forming all around. Clearly, good times were being had.
“Is this how courtship usually goes? Still, this is more—”
“Where is my prince?! Where is he?! Grrrrr!!”
“Rikaaa! Calm yourself! Argh, I swear my daughter used to be human! You are far too ravenous!”
“Kanako, her leash is all yours. I couldn’t possibly.”
It was like taking a starving animal for a walk.
Also…
“Where is the prince? Do you know, Masato?” Rub, rub.
“I’m sure he’s around somewhere. And will you stop trying to make me dote on you?”
“Mommy’s own prince is right here! Hee-hee!” Squeeze!
“Yo, Mom! Don’t just grab my arm like that!”
A flower in each hand—or perhaps just a burden—Masato definitely had his hands full. His physical and mental powers were being rapidly drained.
Then…
“…Gasp?! Everyone, on your guard! Prepare for battle!”
“Seriously, this isn’t a fight.”
Masato’s protest was ignored. Rika braced herself.
A pack of elegant men were coming down the hall.
“Wow! Those men are practically sparkling! …Masato, is that what the sons of aristocracy look like?”
“Probably. They’re all handsome, too. Not that it’s a competition, but it still ticks me off!”
“Don’t worry, Ma-kun. You’ll always be the handsomest in Mommy’s eyes. Hee-hee.”
“Yeah, yeah, thanks. Nobody cares what their mom thinks.”
“I think you’re the best, too! Even if you aren’t handsome, I still like you! Hee-hee-hee!”
“The way you subtly slid a diss about my looks in there really ruins the effect, Mone. Either way, we oughta be able to get past this one easily enough. Just pay them no attention.”
“Masato, you fool! This won’t be that easy!”
“Er, it won’t?”
Rika looked even more tense than she had against the mean girls.
But then she started to fidget.
“I mean, if I get surrounded by all these gorgeous men…what’ll I ever do?”
“Uh…”
“I…I’ve got my heart set on the prince! But…but…if they turn the full power of their charm on me…I might get lured into the grasp of any old hunk! Ah! I am a sinful woman!”
“Excuse me, but if I could just be blunt for a moment… Cut the crap, lady!”
By this point, the group of hunks were practically toe-to-toe with them.
“No! No! No matter how lovely I am, my heart is taken! …Oh nooo!”
Their hearts snared, the entire group of men…
…walked straight past Rika and surrounded Mamako.
“What a beautiful young lady! This is love at first sight!”
“Oh my! Young? I’m already a mother!”
“You are?! A mother, with that complexion? That sounds like the rumors of… Gasp! You wouldn’t be Mamako Oosuki, would you?”
“Yes, I am. And this is my son, Ma-kun!”
“Don’t care about him. I knew it was you! It’s an honor to meet you.”
“Nobody cares about your son, but if you wouldn’t mind talking to us more?”
Admiration rained down upon Mamako.
As for Masato… Well, he was used to this.
But Rika was left frozen midwriggle. “Sniff… Right, Masato! Let’s leave this to Mamako and move onward!”
“Uh, sure. I’m, um…sorry?”
“Don’t apologize! That just makes it feel more pathetic! So we’re good!”
Rika was keeping her spirits up through sheer obstinance.
Past that obstacle, they reached the upper floors. Like the lower ones, this was another area with lots of open rooms.
And yet…
“Huh? There’s no one here.”
“Yeah… Is this area off-limits?”
“I don’t think so. There weren’t any signs… So I assume it’s just that no one’s come here yet. Still, weird…”
When Masato and Mone fell silent, the floor grew eerily quiet. Not a single sound anywhere.
An unsettling kind of silence.
“In any RPG, this kind of quiet means something bad’s about to happen… Rika, what do you think?”
“This happens all the time in Otome games. Crowds coincidentally disperse to allow the heroine and the prince to meet.”
“…Is that what this is?”
“Yes. I’m sure of it! We were looking for the prince and found ourselves in a deserted area. We think we’re somewhere we’re not supposed to be and look around anxiously…and oh my! Through the window—the prince of her dreams, standing on the balcony!”
Well, that was certainly some dramatic narration. Masato looked around.
At the end of the hall was a window, and outside, on the balcony, was the prince. He was staring up at the sky.
“Wahhhhhhhhhhh?! He-he’s really theeeeere?! Oh my god, he really iiiiiis!! Aughhhhh! I’m so shocked that I’ve got snot coming out!” Splurt!
“Whoa… Rika broke,” said Mone.
“She was always broken.”
“Rika! Goodness gracious, what ails you?” Kanako pulled out some tissues. “Here, blow.” Her daughter was repaired! A real handful, this girl.
Anyway, fully recovered…
“Th-then… Time for the climax! I can meet my prince!”
“Seems like it,” said Masato. “Just go down the hall, out on the balcony… He’s all yours.”
This was as far as her backup could take her. The rest was up to Rika herself.
But Rika didn’t move. She was stressing so hard she was sweating, her legs locked in place.
“…Rika?”
“R-right, I know… I have to meet the prince, and then…then what?”
“Uh… That’s up to you…”
“Just do this! Watch!” Mone moved away from Masato, then broke into a run, throwing her arms—
“Nope.”
“Huh?!”
Masato dodged with perfect timing, and her attempted embrace whiffed hard.
“Aw, the prince’s dodge skill isn’t that high! You’re supposed to catch me!”
“Oh, sorry. That was a demonstration, huh? I just dodged out of habit.”
“Sniff. Wahhh! You’re so mean, Masato! You won’t ever spoil me! You have to spoil me! If my spoil reserves dry up, my powers…”
“Whoa! Hold it in!”
The power of her cravings activated, drawing everything around Mone toward her.
Not just the people but the flowers, décor, all of it… “Stop! Stoppp!” Masato hastily threw his arms around Mone, letting her snuggle as much as she wanted. It was the only solution.
“There, there. There, there! Nuzzle me all you like! Nuzzle away!”
“Rub, rub! Hee-hee-hee! Spoil quotient obtained!”
“It’s over? Whew… Uh, so basically like that, Rika.”
“No, no, no, no! That’ll never work! I can’t just throw myself at the prince!”
He’d handled Mone, but Rika was still at square one, unable to take the next step. When…
“Then I guess we’re done here. Time to go home!”
Kanako’s tone was extra-strict.
“Huh? No, wait! Mom, what are you saying?”
“I made myself perfectly clear. You’ve seen the characters you designed acting like regular humans. Isn’t that joy enough? Aren’t you satisfied? It’s time to go back to the real world and find a proper human partner—”
“I want to marry my ideal prince, the one I drew myself! Anything else is pointless!”
“You keep saying that, but you can’t even go give the man a simple hello. You’re just standing here fidgeting.”
“Urk… That… Well, I… Uh…”
“No more hemming and hawing. It’s time you gave up. I’m going to rest for a while over there, so when you’re ready to leave, come get me.”
Looking thoroughly annoyed, Kanako retreated into a nearby room.
But a moment later…
“Oh, perfect! There are cakes and tea… Hmm? …Aiiieeeee?!”
“Wha—? …Kanako?!”
“Hey, Mom?! What’s wrong?!”
They ran in the direction of Kanako’s scream.
Inside, they found a pile of bodies—women in ball gowns or maid uniforms. At least ten of them.
“A-are they…are they dead…?!” shouted Kanako.
“Mom, calm down! It’ll be fine! …Right, Masato?”
“They’re all breathing, so they aren’t dead. Everyone’s still alive.”
“Looks like they’re just unconscious… I bet this is the effect of a spell.”
“I see… So this is the RPG route after all…”
“That’s right! The prince’s groupies were in the way, so we cleared ’em out with a spell! But I don’t have to explain that to you!”
“Then why did youuuu, Amanteeee? You really have to stop doing thaaaat.”
Only one enemy helpfully explained everything.
Amante, in a tiger-striped dress, and Sorella, in a bone-patterned gown. They entered the room together.
“I’m surprised to see you dressed like that, but I figured this was you.”
“Well? Do they look good? Feel free to give us your thoughts.”
“Are we making your heart raaaace? Are weee?”
“Sure, definitely… In a bad way.”
The situation was dire.
They were up against two of the Four Heavenly Kings. Amante had no weapons with her, but her physical prowess was off the charts. Sorella could use magic and summon undead monsters.
Meanwhile, on Masato’s side…
“……Mone, can you fight?”
“Erk… Maybe not… I’ve got a special power, but…no actual combat abilities.”
“Okay… Then…”
He glanced at Rika, who shook her head. Kanako was still in a state of shock.
The situation was clearly desperate.
“Don’t even think about it. Just do as we say! …Here!” Amante suddenly tossed a vase at him.
Masato reflexively tried to catch it, but it was shockingly heavy. “Yikes!” Unable to support it, his knees buckled, and he ended up pinned to the floor with a vase on his knees.
“This…is Sorella’s debuff skill? Damn!”
“That’s riiiight! You’re so weak nooow. The vases around here seem expensiiive. Make sure you don’t drop iiiit.”
Amante forced Rika and Kanako to hold a vase as well, pinning them to the spot.
And Mone also.
“You behave, too. Here!”
“Eep! This certainly does look expensive! …I really don’t want to drop it, so I’ll just put it back where it belongs!”
Mone moved over to the wall and put the vase down on a table. Whew!
Huh?
“Uh, Mone? You can move?”
“Sure! Just like always, ah-ha-ha.”
“Whaaaat? H-h-howwww?! Is my debuff skill not woooorking?”
“That doesn’t— Wait, wasn’t she some sort of dark god created as a hidden boss? If she’s actually a monster, does that make her immune to debuffs?”
“I’m not a monster! I’m a frail little girl!”
“You’ve got a special skill but no combat abilities, but you’re immune to debuffs… Everything about you makes no sense.”
“Heyyy! Masato, don’t be mean! You big dummy!”
She started beating her fists against him, which was annoying, but…at least Mone was still mobile.
The two Heavenly Kings were quickly losing their confidence.
“Argh… If Sorella’s skill doesn’t work, this girl could be trouble!”
“It would really suck if Mamako showed uuuup. We’ve got to finish our triiick.”
“Hey, wait! What are you planning?”
“Sheesh, you think just because you ask, we’re gonna tell you about our plans to brainwash the prince so he and the person Mamako Oosuki wants him to meet don’t get along, forcing the Mom Shop to fail a job?”
“You’re a lifesaver, honestly.”
Amante even flashed a dark jewel at him.
Using this item allowed her to control the mind of any NPC.
Crap! What now? I’ve gotta do something about that!
He knew one way.
“Right! …Mone! Listen closely to what I’m about to say!”
“Huh?! O-okay! What is it?”
“From now until forever, you’re not allowed to make me spoil you!”
“Er… Whaaaaat?! Why?! Since when?! You can’t just… If I can’t be spoiled, I’ll… I need spoiling, or else I…”
Masato’s shocking command immediately shattered Mone’s poise.
And it unleashed the power of her cravings, causing a strong gravitational pull. Everything was yanked toward her, crumbling before her, inhaled into her body.
Including the vases holding them down and the dark jewel in Amante’s hand.
“Urgh! This power… Augh! No!”
“It’s been turned to dust and swalloooowed! We only had the ooooone!”
“All right! Now… Uh… Oh crap. I didn’t think of a next step!” The gravitational pull was only getting stronger. Masato was closest—and inches away from being swallowed himself! “Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!” And he didn’t have the strength to escape its pull!
Oh no… I’m gonna die…
These were Hero Masato’s final moments.
What flashed before his eyes? The faces of his comrades, his mother’s smile…
Then he felt a vibration at his feet.
“The ground’s swaying… Oh no! A Mother’s Fangs? Now? Should I be glad or sad?”
A moment later, a crack ran down the floor, and a rock spike shot up between Masato and Mone.
The fang from below forced the crack even wider, the spike growing ever larger, reaching higher and higher…
…and in the hollow at the tip was Mamako, sitting on a handkerchief she’d spread out.
“Ma-kun! It’s your mommy!”
“You can ride this thing now?!”
“It’s just like an elevator! Such a time-saver. Hee-hee!”
“If your means of transport demolishes the building, who’s gonna pay for it?! …But this time, thanks.”
He tried to force the grimace off his face.
First, time to take care of these enemies… “Ack, Mamako Oosuki!” “Retreeeeat!” …Or not. They were already gone. The moment Mamako Oosuki appeared, Amante and Sorella had flung themselves out the window, riding away on Sorella’s gigantic magic tome.
“Damn! …Oh, whatever. We can deal with those idiots later! First…”
They had to do something about the other crisis.
Mone’s gravitational pull was still very active, even causing A Mother’s Fangs to crumble.
The no-spoil rule had been a means of dealing with the Heavenly Kings. Masato hadn’t actually meant it… Well, maybe part of him had.
“I guess I’d better do something about Mone before…”
“Mone, don’t worry. I’ll spoil you all you want!” There, there.
“Oh, really? Yaaay! …Rub, rub. Rub, rub… Oh, Mamako, you certainly are a step or two above the others. The blessing of being spoiled instantly soothes the craving in my heart…”
“My role has already been usurped!”
Mone was satisfied with Mamako’s spoiling. Her powers subsided.
Rika and Kanako were both safe. The unconscious ladies were waking up.
The room itself was a disaster area, but everything else seemed settled.
“Argh… I knew this would happen. Mom solves everything again. Sigh… But all’s well that ends well. Anyway—”
“I heard a horrific noise! What happened?!”
“Gah, what now?!”
The prince had burst into the room, looking beside himself.
“G-good lord… Masato! What happened here?”
“Well…”
Okay, Masato could handle this one. Explaining things to the prince was certainly a boring job but an important—
No, wait, he’d just had an idea.
“Uh, Your Highness. I’m sure she can explain the details.”
Masato pointed at Rika.
“Er… Wha—? Huh? Um… M-me?!”
“That’s right! Go ahead! Go on!”
“No, um, whaaat?! Masato, back up! Why me?!”
“Because this gives you a chance to talk to the prince! I’m not going to stand here and explain everything like that one idiot does.”
“You just did! And I appreciate the attempt, but… No, I’m not ready!”
“If we wait for you to be ready, this will never happen. Go on! Go, go, go!”
“B-but…”
Rika was still hesitant to approach the prince of her dreams.
But then Kanako stepped up beside her.
“Goodness, what are you waiting for? Nerves maketh the woman.”
She straightened out Rika’s clothes and hair and stroked her cheek.
Then she gave her a push.
“You got everyone mixed up in your selfishness. Now’s the time to show us your good side. Go on.”
“Mom…”
Her mother’s no-nonsense encouragement seemed to help. Rika gave a small nod, then a larger one. Then she stepped forward.
Rika stood before the prince.
“N-nice to meet you! My name is Rika Suzuya! I’m a character designer, and I’m participating in this courtship ball as a test player!”
“Rika Suzuya… If you’re a character designer, then you must be the person Mamako wanted to introduce me to.”
“Yes! That’s me! Um… S-so uh…as to what happened here…”
Each time their eyes met, Rika turned red and started sweating, but she stuck to her guns and kept the words flowing.
Watching her, Kanako’s expression was… Well, there was a lot going on there.
“I never meant to help her do this… Why did I do that? I’m certain she’s better off never meeting him, so why?”
“It’s because you’re a mother, I’m sure of it,” Mamako said. “All mothers wish for their children’s happiness.”
Kanako looked surprised, thought about it for a moment—then a look of resignation passed over her face. A slow smile followed—she did look genuinely pleased. It seemed like a fundamental shift in her perspective.
Kanako looked at her daughter again, this time protectively.
Watching over them both, Masato’s party smiled, too.
“It was Kanako who finally made her take that step.”
“I hate to admit that Mom was right, but she was. Perhaps this is a special skill? A Mother’s Push? Seems like the sort of skill moms would have. But I bet my mom will never learn that one…”
“I-I’m sure I could! Mommy will definitely send you off someday—!”
“Nope, never. You’re always the first to run off ahead! Experience has taught me that much.”
“Th-that’s not true! Even Mommy…sometimes…”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll believe it when I see it.”
Mamako started practicing giving Masato’s back a push, but he ignored her.
“So let’s leave the rest to these young ’uns…”
“Huh? But Masato, you and I are much younger than the prince and Rika,” Mone pointed out.
“…Right.”
Better correct the cliché. Leaving the rest to the old ’uns, the party filed silently out of the room.