Chapter 82: You Are the Cloud in the Sky

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“You, what nonsense are you talking about? Also, who, who, who told you to call me Shanshan?” Yu Shanshan was thrown into a panic by her own mistake, as well as his gaze and words, losing her cool. Her face pale, she scolded him sharply, then immediately seemed to think of something, and shouted in a mix of shock and anger: “You, why didn’t you dodge?”

“Brother Lei~” Zuo Qianqian screamed miserably, supporting Lei Qing, and cried out while sobbing: “You, are you okay? You won’t die.”

Lei Qing turned his head to glance at her and comforted her. Then, seizing the opportunity, as the cold energy flared up inside him, his face turned pale and his lips somewhat purple, he quickly lowered his voice and let out a hoarse groan: “Shanshan, I, I was wrong.” In his eyes, there was a complex mix of emotions toward her: love, tenderness, heartache, and apology. Although he appeared weak, his gaze was also burning with intensity.

“You, do you think saying ‘I was wrong’ will, will make a difference?” Yu Shanshan was stared at until her mind was in turmoil; what, what did his eyes and words actually mean? Her delicate body trembling, she scolded: “Now, now, the whole capital, no, the whole world knows… my innocence, my innocence…”

Yu Shanshan hated Lei Qing to the extreme; he had ruined her innocence and reputation. However, it was precisely because her innocence had been ruined by him that Lei Qing had completely become the person in her heart whom she could not cast aside or wipe away. Like a brand, whether she loathed him or hated him, it had already been deeply etched into the depths of her heart.

Countless times, she could not stop herself from thinking of this person. Since her innocence had been ruined by him, she also had absolutely no way to avoid thinking about another possibility: if, if she were to just make the best of this mistake, what would the result be?

It was precisely because of this thought that Yu Shanshan held such complex and tangled contradictory thoughts about Lei Qing. On one hand, she wanted to avenge her innocence and stab him to death with a single spear thrust. On the other hand, she wondered if there was…

The latter thought, although faint, was constantly dismissed and denied by herself. However, once a thought arises, it takes root and sprouts deep in the heart, growing stronger. Even if she consciously felt this thought was extremely absurd and unrealistic, she still uncontrollably and subconsciously pondered this possibility, and would subconsciously evaluate Lei Qing’s appearance, character, family background, martial arts, and other aspects.

As a result, the more she subconsciously thought about it, the more she subconsciously learned about the details of Lei Qing, and the deeper he was etched into her mind.

This was a very subtle psychology; even Yu Shanshan herself did not know that she had already deeply carved Lei Qing into her heart, filling it up. Although, there were still various other unfavorable factors.

Before this, Yu Shanshan did not have a good impression of Lei Qing. Apart from his appearance being passable and his family background being decent, the rest was simply worthless: dissolute, obscene, shameless, and promiscuous. He had no cultivation level and no strength. He was a typical extravagant and aristocratic scion, a second-generation ancestor. All day long, he only knew how to watch cockfights and walk dogs, idling around the streets. If he wasn’t going to a brothel today, he was lying in the bed of some pretty widow or young wife.

This kind of person was deeply rejected by Yu Shanshan. It was even more impossible for him to satisfy her father or Master.

Even Yu Shanshan herself did not know what she could do to him after having the Free Mercenary Group capture him. Humiliate him? Kill him? But what was the use of that? Yu Shanshan had also fantasized more than once about what it would be like if Lei Qing were an upright man, a great husband, a great hero. In that case, even if she really made the best of the mistake, it might not be a bad thing. But, but he… was really disappointing.

All sorts of things contributed to Yu Shanshan’s extremely contradictory and tangled psychology.

Lei Qing looked at Yu Shanshan; although she was angrily scolding him, the expression on her stunningly beautiful face was incomparably contradictory and complex. He thought to himself, there was still a chance. However, he had also been scared into a cold sweat earlier; Yu Shanshan actually really stabbed him? Fortunately, something happened at the last moment that made her hand tremble; the spear tip only went in a little bit, still quite a distance from his heart.

As for the Ice Fighting Qi, although it was pure and troublesome, it could not kill him. After all, Lei Qing was no longer the rookie he was when he first started out; he had some strength now and had made a name for himself. This was why Lei Qing took the opportunity to try to resolve the conflict; no matter what, he had to save his life first. A crisis had turned into an opportunity. Judging by Yu Shanshan’s expression, her mind was very messy right now; he had to make it even messier and more contradictory.

“Shanshan, it’s all my fault.” Lei Qing’s voice was low and hoarse, becoming increasingly difficult and weak. His eyes filled with apology as he gazed deeply at her: “If my death could return your innocence to you, then use a little more force and stab hard into my heart. Give me a quick end, and give yourself relief.” Could Lei Qing’s death return her innocence? Of course not. Thus, Lei Qing’s words were extremely cunning. However, he had no choice; if Yu Shanshan really had another impulse and stabbed him, wouldn’t everything be over? Even his life would be in danger.

“Why, why do you seek death? You, why do you…” The hatred in Yu Shanshan’s eyes seemed to dissipate a little, but her words seemed even harsher. Her heart was in a panic; he, could he be…

“Back then, when I peeked at you bathing, although there was some suspicion that I was instigated by others, I cannot deny that it was my fault.” Lei Qing sighed softly, looking at Yu Shanshan with an unusually complex gaze: “But, but for the past seven or eight months, I have always been very regretful and annoyed. I often think of you from time to time, and at night, I dream of you too.”

“I don’t allow you to think of me, I don’t allow you to dream of me.” Yu Shanshan’s lovely face was already somewhat flushed under Lei Qing’s words and the warm spring breeze. Her heart was pounding like a deer, in total chaos. Besides being shy, she scolded him fiercely. Moreover, when this guy dreamed of her, how could he possibly dream of her in a normal state?

“Hehe, I don’t want to either.” Lei Qing shook his head and gave a bitter laugh, his voice somewhat agitated: “But I just can’t control myself. I found that I have become obsessed. I found that you are in my heart, impossible to wipe away, impossible to forget. Your voice, your eyes, your anger and pout, and, you, your body which is even more perfect than a Goddess, have all been deeply…”

“I don’t allow you to say another word.” Yu Shanshan was both ashamed and annoyed, her cheeks incredibly red, her delicate body trembling non-stop. Sure enough, this guy definitely wouldn’t remember what she looked like with clothes on. The moment she thought about him thinking of her body day and night, the shock to Yu Shanshan’s heart was incredibly intense.

She wished she could just stab him to death and be done with it. However, was her figure really that perfect? Was he telling a lie? This thought, even though Yu Shanshan was unwilling, popped up strangely in her mind.

“Cough, cough.” Lei Qing hurriedly coughed twice, his face turning even paler as he said weakly: “I’m sorry, although I know this is wrong. But I, but I just can’t forget you. I deserve to die, I shouldn’t have fallen in love with you. I clearly know that between the two of us, it is absolutely impossible. However, I am just so deserving of death; I found that I have become obsessed, possessed by evil. I have fallen in love with you. Heavens, what torture is this for me, Lei Qing? Falling in love with someone I shouldn’t love, falling in love with a woman who will never have a result with me, falling in love with a nine-day fairy who shuttles through the clouds, whom I can only look up to from the human world. Shanshan, I am in so much pain. You are so perfect, beautiful beyond the smoke and fire of the mortal world, beautiful like a Goddess. And I, Lei Qing, am just a mortal, like a pile of mud that cannot be pasted onto a wall. I was wrong, I am in so much pain~”

Lei Qing’s expression became increasingly painful, and his tone became more and more impassioned.

Those impactful words were like ocean waves, wave after wave rushing toward Yu Shanshan’s heart.

…