Chapter 3: The Town-Wide Showdown

Chapter 3:
The Town-Wide Showdown

 

PAULA HAD ASKED me and Griffy to come by the tool shop, so I rode the griffin to her place. When I arrived, I encountered a wagon covered in a tarp outside the store. It looks packed. What the heck does Paula have in there?

“Hey, Paula, I’m here!” I peeked under the tarp just as Paula came out of the shop.

“You’re so slow, Rei Rei!” she complained. “I seriously thought I’d starve to death waiting for you!”

“Come on. You didn’t wait that long.” I gave her a look, then asked what was on my mind. “So, what’s the big deal? Why’d you need me to bring Griffy over?”

“Kyuu?” Griffy cocked its head inquisitively.

Paula cackled without answering, and her glasses glinted suspiciously. “Behold!” She pulled the tarp off the wagon, revealing what was hidden beneath—a mountain of fire erasers.

“Holy crap!” I exclaimed.

“Kyuu! Kyuu! Kyuu?!”

“Bwa ha ha ha!” Paula laughed again as Griffy and I stood there, amazed. “I’m going to sell these to the townsfolk! What do you think will happen then?”

“They’ll be better at putting out fires?” I mean, the eraser is a fire extinguisher.

“Wrong!”

“Huh? I’m 100 percent right!”

“If every household in Kalta has an eraser, we can hold a huge tournament!” Paula exclaimed.

So that’s what this is about.

The tool shop owner explained that if you replaced the extinguisher fluid in the eraser’s tank with regular water, you could use it as a water gun.

I hesitated. That actually sounds fun.

“C’mon, Rei Rei. Pretty please?” Paula pleaded like a mewing cat. “Let’s do it! We’ll hold a tournament and sell every fire eraser for ten thousand rin!”

That seemed pricey. “I don’t know. It’s kind of…”

As I expressed doubt, Paula trembled. “L-Look, Rei Rei. If we don’t sell all these erasers, it’ll be a disaster! I told the craftsman we’d make tons of rin off ’em. That’s why he put together so many! On top of that, I borrowed cash for the materials from a bunch of people. We don’t have a choice. There’s no turning back, or I’m dead!”

Paula’s bloodshot eyes were, to be frank, terrifying. I guess ten thousand rin for a fire extinguisher isn’t bad. The price only seemed ridiculous if you considered the eraser a water gun.

“Rei Rei, help a friend out, please! I’m begging you.”

“Fine.”

“Yay! I love you, Rei Rei!”

As usual, I didn’t acknowledge Paula’s endearment. “We’ll have to teach people how to use the erasers, though. And they’ll need to practice. Still, a tournament should be fun if we treat it like a survival game.” The phrase “survival game” seemed to confuse Paula, so I told her to ignore my musings.

“We should jerk some event funding out of Lord Valgas,” Paula suggested.

“Seriously, can you please stop using the ‘J’ word like that?” Not that she’s wrong.

“I’m gonna handle the event-planning deets. You handle the lord,” Paula instructed, passing the buck my way. “Good luck!” She headed back into the tool shop and closed the door.

“So, Paula wanted me to bring you so you could pull this wagon, huh?” I asked Griffy.

“Kyuu! Kyuu!”

As I raised my arm, Griffy stepped forward, lowering its head and rubbing against my hand. Self-service headpats. I harnessed the tame griffin, and it pulled Paula’s wagon to Lord Valgas’s manor.

 

***

 

Elaine apparently saw Griffy and I arrive, since she was the first person to come through the manor gates to greet us. “Sir Reiji! What brings you here today?”

“Perfect timing, Elaine. I need to talk to your father about something.”

The girl immediately looked as though she’d been stabbed. “Y-you’re here to ask Father for my hand in marriage?! It’s finally happening!” She peered at the tarp-covered wagon. “That must be your dowry!”

No, Elaine, those’re just fire extinguishers we’re going to use as water guns. If this wagon were packed with my dowry—wait, am I the bride here?!—it’d be a ridiculous amount of money, given the size of the load.

“S-someone! Anyone!” Elaine clapped, summoning a maid. She squirmed as she explained the situation to the servant, her cheeks beet red. “What am I going to do? Sir Reiji’s proposing! It’s like a dream come true!”

Uh…what should I say? She’s totally misread this situation.

The maid greeted me and then darted into the manor.

“U-um…” I began. “Excuse me, Ela—”

“I’ll take you to the reception room, Sir Reiji!”

Without letting me finish, Elaine guided me through the manor’s large doors, leading me to the reception room as she’d promised. Griffy stayed in the courtyard with the wagon full of “dowry”—aka the erasers.

The young noblewoman was still blushing as she sat down next to me. After waiting a bit, I heard footsteps, and Lord Valgas and his wife came in.

“So, the time’s finally come.” Bitter tears poured from Valgas’s eyes.

“My love, isn’t it our parental duty to wish Elaine well?” Lady Flam asked him.

“Y-yes. You’re quite right.” He sniffled hard, dragging a stream of snot back in.

With Elaine’s parents seated across from me, I cut to the chase.

“What?!” Lord Valgas shouted. “You mean, you’re not here to ask for Elaine’s hand?”

I smiled awkwardly. “Er…Lady Elaine kind of got ahead of herself.”

Mortified, Elaine turned bright red. “S-Sir Reiji, you fiend!” she cried, running from the room.

I’m not a fiend, thank you very much.

Lord Valgas sighed loudly. “What a shock. I thought I was on death’s door.”

So he’ll die when Elaine gets married?

With the misunderstanding out of the way, I pitched the erasers and the town-wide water-gun tournament to Lord Valgas.

“That’s the object in question, correct?” He gestured to the eraser, which sat on a low table between us.

“Uh-huh.” I gently pushed it toward him.

He picked up the eraser, inspecting it like a jeweler examining an intricate piece.

“Pulling the trigger shoots a fluid that extinguishes fires,” I said. “This tournament could be a fire-prevention training session for the townsfolk. Paula and I thought we might as well turn it into some kind of competition.”

Lady Flam clasped her hands. “My word! Preparing Kalta for fires in this manner is quite a noble cause.”

Lord Valgas nodded. “We should allow townspeople from throughout our lands to participate.”

I’d heard that House Valgas’s territory primarily consisted of small towns and villages. When fires broke out, water from life stones never contained them; townsfolk had to create bucket brigades from nearby rivers and wells. That wouldn’t have been the case if people proficient in water magic lived nearby, but those folks didn’t visit remote towns like Kalta without reason.

I explained how Paula, the craftsman, and I had made the erasers. “This tournament could indirectly reduce fire damage in Kalta, so House Valgas should take the lead in supporting it,” I concluded.

No one in Kalta had ever prepared for fires that thoroughly, and Lord Valgas seemed all for it. “Raising the townsfolk’s awareness of fire prevention, giving them a safe way to practice for an emergency, and turning it into something of a festival—what a fantastic idea!”

Looks like he’s down.

“I’d be happy to fund your event,” he said.

“Thank you so much!” We exchanged a firm handshake.

“I’d like to participate in the tournament as well, Sir Reiji.”

“So that’s why you really approved it.” I get that.

“Well, I have no choice,” Valgas replied. “Will that be all right?”

No choice? I guess it probably wouldn’t look good if a noble said he wanted to grab one of these suckers and splash around with the commoners. I smiled. “Mm-hmm. I suppose you’ll be forced to take part.”

“Yes, indeed.” Lord Valgas grinned back. “This’ll be fun.”

“Agreed.” I mean, the only people who wouldn’t look forward to a water-gun tournament were those who’d given the boot to their joyous inner child.

Since Lord Valgas had signed off on the event, the planning sessions at my house went smoothly. The key participants were me, Paula, Annabelle (the tournament’s head of security), Alf from the general store, and Rena from the Rabbit Tavern. House Valgas’s butler, Rayne, also attended—he’d report all the matters discussed back to his lord.

“Man, Lord Valgas must be really pumped, considering the huge budget he gave us!” Paula said with a hearty guffaw.

“Actually, considering that his funding needs to go toward operating costs and security, his donation might be right on the dot,” Alf interjected.

The elderly butler, Rayne, chimed in. “Should these funds fall short, I shall inform my master.”

“No, that’s fine,” I assured him. “We’re good for now; we’re better off not having a surplus.”

Too much cash would definitely become its own issue—especially when the planners included a bespectacled young woman who could use the budget for nefarious purposes.

“At any rate, what’re we calling this event?” Rena asked.

Everyone in the room went quiet, realizing that we hadn’t come up with a name.

“Ain’t it obvious?” Annabelle said. “The Kalta Battle Royale Festival, of course.”

Battle Royale Festival? Talk about a wild name.

However, none of the planners had a better name—I certainly didn’t—so we settled on Annabelle’s wacky suggestion.

“Battle Royale…Festival.” Noela practically trembled with excitement.

“Okay, on to the next topic.” I listed the issues we needed to figure out, and we paired off for a bit.

Soon enough, we’d hammered out most of the details. All that remained was to proceed as planned. At this point, we were starting to feel a bit like a chamber of commerce. After a meeting like this, the old geezers in a chamber of commerce would probably go out and have a wild night on the town.

That was beside the point, though. I should stockpile some extinguisher fluid. It’ll probably sell like hotcakes when the tournament wraps up.

And so everyone prepared for Kalta’s upcoming Battle Royale Festival.

 

***

 

Two weeks later, we’d built the festival headquarters in the town square, and prospective participants approached us one after another.

Mina told them what to do and how. “Choose a team name, please,” she said. “If you don’t have an eraser, you can buy one from the tool shop booth next to us.”

Man, I’m so glad we brought Mina.

In the tool shop booth, Paula explained how the eraser worked to customers—which helped her sell even more of them. She looked pleased as punch.

“That’s two erasers!” she told a buyer. “Thanks a lot!”

Meanwhile, Noela stood behind her, busily drawing battle strategies or something. “Noela here! Master here!”

Noela, Vivi, and I were participating in the tournament; we’d registered under the team name “Kirio Drugs.” Teams could have a maximum of four members, but technically, you could fly solo.

“I’m scared, Noela. How’d I get roped into this?” Vivi glanced down worriedly at the eraser in her hands.

“As humans, there are times when we must fight!” Noela said, staring into the distance as if she’d tossed off some proverb. (For the record, in terms of species, neither she nor Vivi were technically humans.)

Honestly, I hadn’t planned to participate in the tournament, but Noela had refused to take no for an answer.

“Hey, Noela, wouldn’t you prefer just to partner with Vivi instead of adding me to the team?” I said, practically begging. “I bet you’d have more fun.”

Noela shook her head. “Master on Noela’s team! Noela make man out of Master.”

I knew she just meant that we’d win, but still, where the heck had she picked up that phrase? Please don’t word it like that, Noela. You could cause a nasty misunderstanding.

“I shall compete as well, woman,” a familiar voice declared at the registration table.

Noela, Vivi, and I turned. There stood Ejil, eraser in hand. Wait, Ejil’s competing?! But I gave him the day off and everything!

“What’s your team name?” Mina inquired.

“Is that not obvious? Team Demon King!”

How creative.

“List your team members, please.”

“There’s but one demon king in this world! Me!”

Seriously?

Mina didn’t take Ejil’s bait at all. “Solo it is, then.”

Man, she’s gotten really good at ignoring Ejil’s, uh, unique personality.

“I’ll be joining the fun as well, Doctor!” Ejil informed me. “Please go easy on me.”

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” I replied. “No magic, got it?”

“I know. Noela!”

“Groo?”

“Since I’m competing alone, I’m at quite a disadvantage. But I shall prove to you that nothing is impossible for the demon king!” Ejil struck a pose, his cape flapping dramatically. “If I win—no, if I’m in the final ten…”

Did he seriously lower the bar already? What happened to nothing being impossible? I forced a grin, waiting for Ejil’s next words.

“Go on a date with me, please!”

I figured.

“No.”

“Come on! Think about it! Top ten!”

Noela was having none of it. “Impossible.”

“Ice cold before thawing. Just as I’d expect of my beloved.” Ejil was, as usual, getting more and more optimistic about his crush. “When next we meet, Noela, it shall be on the battlefield!”

“Bring it.”

Whoa. Badass.

“Prepare yourself! Bwa ha ha ha!” With a snap of his cape, Ejil walked away.

After that, Lord Valgas dropped by with his daughter.

“Elaine, you know I’m burning the candle at both ends. Why must you force me to participate in some festival for commoners? My word, how bothersome! Nonetheless, if you insist, I suppose I have no choice.” Lord Valgas was really playing this up.

Elaine looked less than pleased. “I don’t recall saying I wanted to be on your team. I’d much rather spend time with Noela and Sir Reiji.”

Both father and daughter greeted Mina and began the registration process.

“Sir Reiji,” Lord Valgas acknowledged me.

“Thanks for coming by.”

“It’s nothing. Elaine was desperate to have me join the festivities.”

Lord Valgas knows I’m in on his secret, but I guess he’s rolling with this cover story.

“Good day, Sir Reiji!” Elaine said.

“Good day to you too, Elaine,” I replied. “I’m taking part in the tournament as well—my team name’s Kirio Drugs. Actually, we still have an opening. Care to join?” I felt bad that she was being forced to join her dad’s team just because he wanted to mess around.

“A-are you sure?”

“Groo!” Noela exclaimed. “Elaine friend! Join team!”

“I’m fine with Elaine joining too!” Vivi agreed.

“Then I’d be happy to join Team Kirio Drugs!”

I glanced at Mina. She smiled and nodded, adding Elaine’s name to our registration form.

“But, Sir Reiji, that means I’m all alone,” Lord Valgas protested.

“This’ll be a chance to impress Elaine, my lord. If you two were partners, that would be much tougher.”

“Th-that’s true.” Lord Valgas hesitated. “But, erm, as lord of this land, I can’t afford to embarrass myself!”

Yup, I know. Pride, social standing, all that jazz. Grow up.

Paula, having overheard the conversation, slid in. “How about this, my lord?” She offered Lord Valgas a mask that would hide everything but his eyes.

He took it. “None of my peers will recognize me in this! I shall survive this battle royale on my own!”

“Good luck, Father!”

“Thank you, dear. You too.”

“Mm-hmm!”

Mina wound up registering a lot of competitors for the tournament. Since Lord Valgas had advertised the event throughout his domain, there were tons of participants I didn’t recognize. Pretty much all Kalta’s businesses—from the general store to every last restaurant—had a booth with things for sale. The whole town was in full-blown festival mode. Paula was handling the drugstore’s sales at the moment, so festivalgoers were buying Kirio Drugs products alongside erasers.

Once fifty teams had signed up, we closed registration, and the competitors gathered in the town square.

Alf stepped forward to explain the rules. “Ahem! Participants, you’ll use these water-filled erasers to shoot members of other teams. If someone shoots you, you’re out!” The battlefield included the entirety of Kalta. If you left town, you were disqualified.

The festival planners had done their best to ensure the rules were fair. At first, I’d been a little concerned about participating, considering I was an organizer. But since I wasn’t exactly athletic, I hoped folks would cut me some slack.

The teams left the town square in order of registration. Once every team had gone, a bell would ring to signal the start of the tournament.

“Next…Team Kirio Drugs! Go get ready, please!” Alf called.

Noela, Vivi, Elaine, and I made our exit.

“Leave to Noela, Master!” the werewolf girl piped up. I patted my reliable little fluffball on the head.

“I-I’m so nervous,” Vivi said with a sigh.

“I can’t believe I’m on Sir Reiji’s team!” Elaine chirped. “It’s thrilling!”

I doubted Team Kirio Drugs would last long in the tournament. Noela was exceptionally strong, but aside from me, it was a team of young ladies. We headed behind a house on the outskirts of town, out of the way. After we’d waited a bit, the bell rang.

“Let’s do our best!” Elaine said.

Noela, Vivi, and I responded with an energetic “Yeah!” and the tournament began.

Team Kirio Drugs’ four members were hiding together, so if another competitor came over, they’d spot us immediately. This honestly reminds me of playing hide-and-seek as a kid, I mused. My heart’s racing and everything.

“What’s the plan, Noela?” I asked.

“Groo? Victory.”

“I mean, yeah… But be more specific. Like, if we spot an enemy, should we run? Fight? What’s our strategy? I figure we should decide early on.”

“Run, of course,” Vivi piped up. “After all, this is about survival!”

I agreed with her on that one. There was no reason to take unnecessary risks. And yet, Elaine and Noela shook their heads.

“Crush enemy elegantly,” Noela said.

“I want to fight!” Elaine agreed. “Pow! Pow!”

According to the tournament rules, teams could only refill their erasers at wells. There were several wells around town, but I figured competitors would camp at those spots. Since we were on the edge of town, there were hardly any passersby. Still, we could hear the distant sound of the festivities in the town square.

“Groo?!” Noela sniffed, then hopped out from the shadows just as a competitor carrying an eraser ran by.

“H-hey, wait!” I cried.

The enemy readied their weapon. “Y-you’re on the drugstore tea—” Noela dodged the attack effortlessly, closing in with incredible speed. “Ugh! I can’t hit her!”

“Garoo!” Noela released a single shot at point-blank range, striking her target.

“Damn it! I’m…done for…” The opposing player fell to their knees and then collapsed.

I appreciated their theatrics. You realize she only hit you with water, right?

“Garoo!” Having defeated an opponent all by herself, Noela wagged her tail excitedly.

Was Noela’s victim alone? Looking around, I concluded that the opposing player was a solo actor. It doesn’t seem like they were luring us out either.

“Noela! There’re a bunch of people over there!” Elaine pointed at a group hiding in the shadows, getting closer.

Had Noela’s target been running from the group? That’d explain why our fallen enemy had no allies; their team had been finished off already.

“Noela rain fire upon enemy again!” Noela declared.

Water, actually.

Suddenly, the group she was about to attack began crying out in despair.

“What the—?!”

“Gah! From over there?!”

“You may be following the rules, but isn’t it cocky to attack a bigger team?”

“All clear!” someone cried. “I beat three of them, brother!”

Wait a sec. I know that voice.

“Five down. All clear here, Ririka!”

The elven siblings, Kururu and Ririka, had defeated the enemy group.

“It’s Team Pretty Boy and Girl!” Vivi declared.

What the heck? I guess you’re technically not wrong, but…

“I know you’re there, Reiji baby. Come on out.”

I cautiously poked my head out from the shadows. Kururu winked at me repeatedly. Aw, man. I’ve got a pest after me, all right. Since Kururu and Ririka were elves, they were probably excellent at tracking and shooting targets. “Vivi!”

“What’s the matter, Reiji? Oh—I get it! We’re running!”

“Exactly. We don’t stand a chance against these two. Team Kirio Drugs will retreat while you distract them!”

“Wait! I’m just bait?! Come on!” Vivi pleaded, tugging my shirt.

“You handle Reiji, brother,” I heard Ririka say. “I’ll polish off Noela and the rest of their team.”

“Perfect. Good luck, Ririka.”

“You too.”

Kururu suddenly vanished.

Wait, he’s coming here to my hiding spot? Man, this sucks!

“Game on, Ririka!” Noela faced her opponent toe to toe.

“I shall fight as well!” Elaine declared. “At last, Noela and I can show off our coordinated comba—” Trying to rush out, she tripped on her own skirt and fell over.

“Hey, Elaine, you okay?”

“Everything hurts…”

I figured. I’d had a feeling that this would happen. Digging through my bag, I handed her a single potion. Meanwhile, the battle between my fluffball and the elven girl began.

“Before the hunting festival, you outshone me at archery—but not now!”

“Garroo! Won’t lose to Ririka! Noela promised! Make Master a man!”

“W-wait! Pardon me?! What’re you planning to do to him?!”

Man, I knew someone would get the wrong idea.

The two girls began their fierce fire—er, water—fight.

“I won’t let you do anything weird to Reiji!”

“Noela team win! No get in our way!”

Their battle intensified. Then Kururu suddenly appeared on the roof and fired his eraser at me. Sploosh!

“The time’s come to bask in the stream of my affection, Reiji baby!”

Gah! Don’t say it like that! But I didn’t have time to balk at Kururu’s one-liner. I need to dodge!

“Reiji!”

Smack!

Someone sent me flying. I landed on the road and looked back to see Vivi where I’d stood. She lay on the ground, eyes blank.

“V-Vivi?” I gasped. “You sacrificed yourself for me?!”

“Was I…useful…?”

“Why’d you do that?!”

“We’re friends…aren’t we…?” The strength left the lake spirit’s body.

“V-Vivi! We’re not friends! You’re my part-timer, and I’m your boss! Don’t get confused!”

Vivi rose to her feet indignantly. “Why’d you go and say that?! We are friends, aren’t we?”

Come on. Don’t get all serious.

“Electrifying, Reiji baby!” Kururu called, shivering. “You’re pretty naughty, using her as a body shield!”

When Kururu had fired at me, Elaine had quietly circled around to his blind spot. Now, she was crouching in a position invisible from the roof.

“Hee hee hee! If you’re going to fall by anyone’s hands, they should be mine, Reiji ba—”

“Elaine!”

She popped up at my signal. “My aim’s steady and true!”

Pulling her eraser’s trigger, Elaine shot a water jet straight into Kururu’s side.

“H-how did you—?! I… Th-this can’t be!” Kururu touched the moist spot on his torso. He looked down at his wet hand and then collapsed atop the roof.

That’s one pest out of the tournament!

“I did it!” Elaine shrieked.

“Nice shot!” We shared a high-five.

“What? Brother?! It can’t be!” Kururu’s defeat distracted Ririka completely.

Noela pulled her eraser’s trigger, but no water came out. “Garroo?!”

Now’s our chance! I tossed Vivi’s eraser to Noela, its tank still full. “Use this, Noela! This gun belonged to our fallen comrade, Vivi!”

“Vivi…” Noela stared at the weapon quietly.

“Um, I’ve been eliminated, but I’m not dead!” Vivi complained.

“For my brother!” Ririka cried.

“For Vivi!” Noela was ahead of the elf girl by a hair.

Water splashed Ririka’s face. “Eek! It’s cold!”

“Garroo!”

“You did it, Noela!” Phew. That was a close one.

Elaine and Noela high-fived. I high-fived Noela too, then patted her head and treated her to a potion.

Gulp! Gulp!

I’d assumed that Team Kirio Drugs would get knocked out early. Now, however, I decided we should at least try to stick out the tournament out of respect for the people we’d beaten.

“Vivi’s out, so we’re down to three,” I muttered. “All right! Just as I planned.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” squealed Vivi. “You intended to use me as cannon fodder all along?!”

“What’s next?” I asked Noela and Elaine.

A quiet voice came from the rooftop. “Between you and me, Reiji baby…I wouldn’t advise heading to the well west of here. Some masked gentleman’s teamed up with a self-proclaimed demon king. They’re defeating any competitors who get close.”

Needless to say, Team Kirio Drugs knew right away who Kururu was referring to.

“Ejil! Noela beat,” the werewolf girl declared.

“And I shall defeat Father with my own two hands!” Elaine added.

Well, I guess that’s that.

Noela, Elaine, and I made our way toward the well. Since Vivi was out, she returned to the town square. I heard the bell ringing again. Bong! Bong!

Rustle. Rustle. Someone tugged my shirt.

“Sound, Master!”

“Yeah. That ringing means that only half the teams are left.” I had experience with this kind of competition, so it was easy to remember the rules.

“The tournament’s already down to twenty-five teams?” Elaine said.

“Exactly.” I guess when you consider how many contestants we’ve beaten or seen beaten, that’s not crazy.

“Bwa ha ha ha!” I heard Ejil’s cocky laugh. “Putting this weapon in my hands was a fatal mistake! I shall annihilate you all!”

It’s been a while since I’ve heard him talk like a real demon king. Problem was, his deadly weapon was just a water gun.

Our team tiptoed toward the well, cautiously watching the situation from the shadows. Reloading his weapon from the bucket at his feet, Ejil began wandering around, looking for prey.

“Only half the teams are left, young man,” said the masked gentleman—Lord Valgas—with his eraser readied. “I think it’s about time we attack.”

“Not so fast, Mask. From here on, it won’t be easy to refill our weapons. We should snatch erasers from the fallen to use as backups.”

“A wonderful idea.”

The pair hadn’t noticed our approach. We could use this chance to launch a surprise attack on them.

Knowing Noela, that idea wouldn’t fly. There was no way she could control herself in front of an enemy, let alone someone she personally wanted to take down.

The werewolf girl crouched low and zoomed toward the demon king. “Ejiiil!”

“Noela?!” he blurted, completely caught off guard.

“Ejil fall here!”

“Bwa ha ha ha! Come at me!”

They’re like rival mecha pilots meeting on the battlefield.

The demon king countered Noela’s insanely nimble attack with jets of ammo. Crazy as it sounded, this was really just a water gun fight.

“Augh! Is that you, Sir Reiji? Elaine?!”

Yup, Lord Valgas noticed us. The masked gentleman held two erasers, evidently planning to put us down.

Elaine scowled. “Team Kirio Drugs won’t put up with your tyranny!”

“You heard her, my lord.”

“I’m not a lord! I’m a nameless gunslinger who, for his own reasons, must mask his identity!”

I thought Lord Valgas was wearing that mask just to avoid being embarrassed. But he’s got a backstory and everything. Wow.

The skirmishes elsewhere in town had apparently ended; onlookers clustered around us.

“Come and get me if you can, Sir Reiji, Elaine!”

“Shall we, Sir Reiji?”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go.”

Elaine charged ahead. I provided cover fire, careful not to shoot her in the back, since she was weaving side to side.

“How impertinent! Don’t assume that you two can handle me alone!” Lord Valgas fired back at us. In spite of his overconfident warning, he was hiding behind a big barrel.

“Our attacks aren’t working, Sir Reiji!” cried Elaine, dashing back and hiding beside me. “That barrel’s in the way!”

“Despite being comic relief, your dad’s pretty tough.”

“Who are you calling comic relief?!”

Look at your mask, dude.

“Listen, Elaine,” I whispered. “I’ll pop out and draw our masked gunslinger’s attention. You shoot him while he’s distracted.”

“What about you, though?”

I offered a strained smile. “Don’t worry about me.” I’d always wanted to say something like that in a situation like this!

Meanwhile, the battle between the demon king and the fluffball was as heated as I’d predicted. Jets of water whizzed past one another, dampening the combatants’ surroundings.

“Groo! Garroo!”

“Grrrr!”

Man, Noela should just start a career as a hero or something.

“All right, Sir Reiji,” Elaine said. “I won’t let your courage go to waste!”

“Good girl! Once you beat that masked gunslinger, cover Noela, okay?”

“Of course.”

“Ha ha ha! What’s the matter? Scared?!” Lord Valgas taunted us from behind the barrel.

The bell rang again, signaling that more teams had lost. I noticed then that our audience had grown. It’s actually possible that we’re the only two teams left. If so, I really don’t want to lose.

“Let’s do this, Elaine.”

“Yes! Charge!” Elaine hid behind me as I hopped out from our cover.

“Using your companion as a shield will do you no good!” Lord Valgas rapidly pumped his eraser and fired at us.

I’d been thinking for a while that it took some real elbow grease to pump those things.

“Ugh!” he grunted. “Preparing the eraser is more tiresome than I expected.”

As I’d guessed, he didn’t have much stamina left. Understandable, since he probably didn’t exercise much. This is our chance. I circled around the right side of Lord Valgas’s barrel, and Elaine circled around the left.

“A-a pincer attack?! How impertinent!” Locking on to each of us with an eraser, Valgas tried to shoot, but barely any water came out of his guns.

No ammo left.

“We strike now!” I shouted.

“Right!” Elaine called back.

We showered Lord Valgas with water jets from either side. He fell to the ground, his mask falling off.

“That face! Wait… It can’t be! Father?!”

Er, you totally knew that, Elaine. Drop the act.

“Elaine…you’ve gotten so strong.”

Elaine cradled Lord Valgas’s body. “It really is you, Father!”

Um…guys?

“I didn’t think you’d give this tournament your all if you recognized me,” Lord Valgas gasped. “So I wore this mask.”

Wasn’t that mask supposed to keep you from embarrassing yourself?

“I can’t believe it,” Elaine murmured.

Valgas coughed. “You’re…already a lady, my daughter.” He slowly closed his eyes.

“F-Father?! Father!” The young noblewoman embraced her father’s (dead?) body.

The onlookers sniffled, using handkerchiefs to wipe away their tears. Was this little show really that moving?!

“Groo! Pervert King! You’re mine! Arrooooo!” Noela stood triumphantly over Ejil, who was slumped over headfirst, butt in the air.

“Urgh… How? How could I lose?!” Ejil gazed up at her, humiliated.

“Those who fight driven by rage and hate are fools. The ability to transform joy, happiness, and hope into strength is part of what makes humanity powerful. You underestimated that ability, and therefore you lost.” Noela delivered her victory speech with great eloquence.

She totally just wanted to tell him that, didn’t she?

The bell rang and rang, signaling the tournament’s end.

 

***

 

“And the winning team is…Kirio Drugs!”

Once everyone had made it back to the town square, Vivi, Noela, Elaine, and I were crowned the tournament’s victors. That said, there was no prize aside from bragging rights as winners of the first-ever Kalta Battle Royale Festival.

“My palms were so sweaty at the end!” Vivi said excitedly. “You were awesome, Noela!”

Noela smirked, reveling in her victory. “Garroo!”

After finishing up at the festival headquarters, Mina came over. “Good work, everyone! How was it, Mr. Reiji?”

“Pretty fun, all things considered.”

“Noela join next time too, Master!”

“I’d like to participate again as well!” Elaine agreed.

I nodded. “Sounds good to me. The three of us, back in action!”

“Don’t forget me, Reiji!” Vivi cried. “We’re a team of four! If I hadn’t protected you, you would’ve been dead meat!”

“I was just kidding, Vivi,” I said, attempting to calm the lake spirit.

As we’d anticipated, awareness of the erasers quickly spread thanks to the Kalta Battle Royale Festival. Paula sold the firearms at her tool shop, and she was crazy busy for a while.

The drugstore sold erasers in a set with extinguisher fluid. After the tournament, though, people seemed to see them more as toy weapons than emergency tools. They had a reputation as playthings that also happened to be able to put out fires.

The erasers were strictly supposed to be for fire prevention! Oh well.