Chapter 7: The Greenhorn Monster Tamer

Chapter 7:
The Greenhorn Monster Tamer

 

I WENT TO FEED Griffy one morning only to find a young girl in the stable, petting our griffin. I hadn’t seen this girl much around Kalta. She wore shorts and a beret; I guessed that she was in her mid-teens, like Mina.

“Kyuu!” Griffy seemed to appreciate the attention; it wore a serene expression.

“Aren’t you the sweetest?” Noticing me, the girl quietly nodded and asked, “Are you this griffin’s owner?”

“Yup. Griffy’s quite a softie, huh?”

“It’s really rare for griffins to get so tame,” she replied. “This is my first time touching one.”

I put the food Mina had made Griffy at its feet, and it started eating.

“My name’s Reiji,” I said. “I run that pharmacy over there. And, like I said, I own this little griffin.”

“I’m Eva, an adventurer and monster tamer.”

Monster tamer? Whoa. No wonder she’s comfortable with Griffy. I glanced around the stable, but I didn’t see anything resembling a monster tamer’s familiar.

“Mr. Pharmacist?”

“Yeah?”

“Could I have this griffin, please?!”

She went right for it?!

“No way!”

“I can’t?” Eva’s shoulders slumped sadly.

I mean, what’d she expect? “What happened to your familiar?”

“The other day, during one of our adventures…” Eva sniffled loudly.

Aww. It must’ve perished.

“It ran away when I wasn’t looking!”

“That’s it?!” I’m an idiot for assuming it died trying to protect her or something.

“So, right now, I’m a monster tamer without a monster,” the girl concluded.

I guess that’s like being a swordsman without a sword.

“Most griffins are untamable. But they can run on land and fly, and they’re good fighters too.”

“Kyuu! Kyuu!” Griffy’s eyes sparkled at her compliments. It flapped its wings, blowing the straw beneath it into the air.

“It’s a miracle that your griffin is so friendly.”

Griffy was friendly and tame because we’d hatched and raised it. The problem was, finding griffin eggs wasn’t easy.

“I get you. A griffin familiar would be super useful, not to mention strong,” I told her.

“Plus, everyone would be impressed!” Eva said. “They’d go, ‘Wow, that monster tamer’s got a griffin?! Amazing!’ I could brag to all the other monster tamers.”

What a delightfully self-absorbed motive. “I can’t give you Griffy, but I think I could help you find a new familiar,” I offered.

“Really?!”

I nodded and led Eva into the drugstore.

“Whoa! There’re so many different products!”

I put two items on the counter. “This and this,” I muttered. “For now, anyway.”

“What’re these, Mr. Pharmacist?”

“One’s called Translator DX. It lets you communicate telepathically with highly intelligent creatures. You can understand and even talk to them.”

“Astounding!” Eva looked at the other product. “What’s this, then?!”

“Monster seasoning. You sprinkle it on food. It smells delicious to monsters.”

“What the—?!” Eva balked. “That’d be so useful to us monster tamers, it’s practically cheating!”

“Master?” Noela quietly peeked into the drugstore. “Customer?”

“Wh-who’s that, Mr. Pharmacist?”

“Oh, this is Noela the werewolf.”

“Noela is Noela…” My fluffy buddy greeted Eva timidly, staying cautious.

“Augh! I can’t take it! I’m dying! She’s so cute—the most precious little thing! I’m going to die, here and now!” Eva reached out and lunged at Noela, panting.

“Groo?!” Noela quickly hid behind me.

“Eva, I get that she’s sweet and all, but please don’t scare her.”

“Oh—sorry. I couldn’t help myself. Tee hee!” Eva giggled mischievously.

“Anyway,” I continued, “with these products, you should find a new familiar relatively easily.”

“Really? Hearing out the monster’s thoughts does sound great, but if I wind up taming a monster that hates me, I’m not sure I could handle the verbal abuse.”

Would a monster really bully a monster tamer like some keyboard warrior lurking in the dark reaches of the internet? I wondered. But I figured that, even if they didn’t really want to, monster tamers probably had to carry a whip and order their familiars around. It probably wasn’t uncommon for the monsters to hate them.

“Well, I’m sure that if you love your familiars…” I trailed off.

“It’d hurt because I do love them!” Eva sounded distressed.

Her old familiar did run away, after all. That’s got to be rough.

“That’s why I’d like you to give me Griffy or Noela, if possible.”

“Not happening.”

Behind me, Noela nodded repeatedly.

“I figured.” Sighing, Eva bought both the products I’d recommended and left the drugstore.

“Noela feel guilty, Master.”

“Don’t say that.”

It was about time for Ejil to arrive for his shift. If we help Eva find a new familiar, I guess Mina can watch the drugstore till Ejil gets here.

“Mina, would you mind keeping an eye on the store until Ejil starts work?” I called.

“Of course not! Have fun.” Mina saw Noela and me off with a smile.

The two of us caught up to Eva, who was walking away from the store with droopy, shuffling steps.

“Hey! Eva! Wait up!”

“Mr. Pharmacist? Noela?!”

As I caught my breath, Noela explained our plan to the monster tamer. “Master and Noela help Eva find monster buddy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Worried, so…”

“How can I ever repay you? I’m sorry for the trouble, but I’m awfully grateful!”

“It’s all good!” I assured her.

We asked what kind of familiar she’d prefer.

“Let’s see.” Eva paused. “A cute, strong familiar would be awesome.”

Cute and strong, huh? Those feel like polar opposites. I glanced at Noela. I guess they can kind of work together, though. Noela looked cute when she did pretty much anything. And, although I’d never actually seen her fight as a wolf, her other form seemed strong.

“By the way, Eva, what kind of familiar did you have before?”

“A golem, actually.”

Not cute at all.

I knew that for a fact, despite never having seen a golem in person. Apparently, they were popular among monster tamers. Lots of rookie tamers went for them first, enticed by their strength. And golems weren’t particularly self-possessed, so they were often comparatively loyal.

A loyal golem ditched its tamer? Really?

“The first step is getting friendly with a monster and dropping your guard,” Eva told us. “Once you do that, you can use ‘pactio’ magic on a monster you like, and they’ll become your familiar.”

Why’d her golem run away from her?

As I listened to Eva chatter about professional monster taming, we wound up in a forest I often visited to forage for ingredients.

“A bunch of familiars would be hard to deal with,” Eva mused. “But I’d like at least one monster that’s both cute and powerful.”

Are there monsters like that here?

Noela sniffed the air to detect threats and then told me the forest monsters’ locations.

Chugging some Translator DX, Eva took a deep breath. “Let’s go find them!”

But Noela’s expression stiffened. “Over there! Big!” Her enemy-tracing ability could detect the size of threats—small, average, or large. “Rare scent, Master!”

A rare scent? Eva charged forward excitedly, and Noela and I cautiously followed.

Once we got close, Noela hid in the shadows, pointing. “M-Master, th-there.”

“Bwaaaaah! Bwaaaaah!”

It was some half-naked, middle-aged guy. He was holding a bow, and he looked like a run-of-the-mill hunter. Actually, that’s not quite right. He had long hair, a beard, a hairy chest—oh, and a horse’s lower body.

Wait. Is that a—

“A centaur!” Eva cried. “Oh my gosh! I can’t even deal! I love him! I’m dying!”

She certainly has an interesting definition of “dying.”

As Eva shrieked, the centaur noticed us. “Bwaaaah!”

Just because his upper body is human doesn’t mean he speaks a human language, I guess.

The centaur aimed its bow and fired at us.

“Yikes!”

“Here, Master!” Noela yanked me into the shadows by my shirt, and the arrow missed.

“You’re a lifesaver!” I told her.

“Garroo!”

Eva clenched her fists. “All right, I’ve decided. He’s the one!”

Wait. Really?

“That’s the cute, strong beast I’ve always wanted.”

Strong, I get—but which part of that macho monster is cute?!

We had no clue what the centaur was saying, so we downed some Translator DX.

“I shall make this forest mine!” he bellowed. “Bwa ha ha ha!”

Aw, crap.

“You humans, hiding over there! Leave my forest at once! Never again come before me!”

He knows we’re here.

“This forest where Master met Noela!” Noela objected. “No want weird old man here!”

“Makes sense.” It’d be a hassle if I couldn’t forage for herbs and stuff in these woods anymore, so we had a real problem on our hands.

“Um…my name’s Eva!” the monster tamer called to the centaur. “For lots of reasons…I choose you!”

Her wording reminds me of that one monster-collecting video game…but that’s irrelevant.

“Leave at once, young human! I will not repeat myself!” The centaur dude seemed stubborn.

“Um, please tell me your name!” Eva persisted, doing her best to build a connection between them.

“I’m a half-human, half-beast demon! A centaur! I have no name!”

If the centaur formed a pact with Eva, chances were he’d leave the forest instead of trying to rule it. That meant I needed to ensure that he did become her familiar. Eva had some monster seasoning with her, but that would just smell good to the centaur, not persuade it to team up with her.

Hold on. What if I did some mixing?

“Make something, Master?”

“Yup. I need you to stay here. If things go off the rails, save Eva.”

“Right!”

I left the scene, hurrying out of the forest. By the time I returned to the drugstore, I was totally winded.

“Ah! Hello, Doctor. Are you in a hurry? Didn’t you just leave?” Ejil asked as he watched the store, a puzzled look on his face.

“A centaur is trying to, um, take over the woods,” I replied.

“Hunh.”

I’d figured that Ejil wouldn’t get it. I also didn’t have time to explain things to him. Holing up in the lab, I grabbed some monster seasoning, lure, and emotional drive (which I’d opted never to put on sale). I extracted and mixed their active ingredients, ensuring that the new product’s effects wouldn’t be too strong. Bam—done!

 

Millet Dumpling Paste: Condiment for monster taming. Dramatically increases a monster’s sociability when ingested. Become fast friends with a grumpy, towering, or wary monster!

 

This should help Eva befriend that centaur. I raced out of the lab and rode Griffy back to the woods.

“Griff’s just delighted to go for a run with Master!” Obviously, Griffy was on cloud nine.

If I’d brought Ejil, he could’ve pulled rank on the centaur, but the less powerful monster would probably just have obeyed the demon king temporarily. It would’ve been up to its old tricks once Ejil left.

Griffy and I entered the forest, making our way toward the spot we’d left earlier. I heard voices.

“Didn’t I tell you? You can’t make trouble for people!”

“I didn’t think I was.”

What the…?

“I don’t want to hear excuses! This forest would be peaceful if you hadn’t popped up here. If you’re going to play king or whatever, do it somewhere else!”

I cocked my head. That bossy voice was familiar.

“Master!”

“What is it, Noela?”

“Vivi here!”

“Wha…?”

I looked. The drugstore’s part-time spirit was, in fact, standing in front of the centaur and lecturing him. The middle-aged beast was even hanging his head.

“Hey, Vivi. What’s going on?”

“Oh! Hey, Reiji! I’m just teaching this rude intruder how we do things here.”

“Who’s this human, Lady Vivi?”

Lady Vivi?

“My friend. And boss.”

“Your…friend?!” The man-beast’s eyes widened in shock.

“Since when are you so important, Vivi?”

She puffed out her chest proudly. “I am a lake spirit, you know. Enshrined by the people of the land and stuff. I’m actually pretty close to a deity, Reiji.”

I guess that whole “lake spirit” thing isn’t just ceremonial.

“Unfortunately, people have pretty much abandoned me these days,” Vivi added with a defeated smile.

It turned out that, after Eva’s encounter with the centaur got noisy, Vivi had shown up and asked Noela what was going on. Our favorite lake spirit could perform thought transference with intelligent animals and monsters even without Translator DX.

“You have way too much free time on your hands, Vivi,” I told her.

“I-I know I do! I wish you’d thank me first, though!”

“I’m just teasing you.” I smiled. “Seriously, thanks. You’re a lifesaver.”

Right. Down to business.

I handed Eva—who’d been listening to Vivi’s conversation with the centaur this whole time— the bottle of millet dumpling paste. “You should be able to use this to befriend that guy.”

“R-really?” She rummaged through her bag and pulled out some stale bread. Drizzling it with millet dumpling paste, she headed toward the monster.

Since the millet dumpling paste contains lure, even stale bread should work…probably.

“That bread you’re holding smells quite appetizing, young lady!” the centaur barked.

“Want some? I’d be happy to share.” She pulled off a chunk of bread and handed it to the centaur.

He munched on it. “Mmm! I’ve never eaten something so good!”

The beast flashed Eva an adoring look that just screamed, “Let’s be friends!”

Eva held out her hand. “Gimme your paw!”

She’s already patronizing him?!

The centaur hesitated, taken aback, before giving up and placing his hand on hers.

“If you form a pact with me, you’ll get to eat tons,” Eva told him. “So, um, want to be my familiar?”

“You’re a fascinating young lady, and I was getting bored with the forest,” the centaur replied. “Fine…I accept your offer.” They shook hands to seal the deal.

“Thanks, Mr. Pharmacist!” Eva squealed. “Now I’ll have my own cute, strong familiar!”

I get it…he’s strong. But cute? No way.

Eva successfully cast pactio magic, officially making the “cute, strong” centaur her familiar. The monster tamer still had some Translator DX, and the centaur seemed to have a surprisingly good head on his shoulders, so I figured their partnership might actually work.

After that little happy ending, we left the forest and went our separate ways.

“Tamers are amazing,” I mused.

“Master Noela’s tamer!”

“Griff’s too! Master is Griff’s master!”

I guess, if they both see me as their “master,” that must make me a monster tamer, huh?

As we reentered the drugstore, I spotted Ejil holding a bottle of millet dumpling paste, a fearless smirk on his face. “You’ve created something quite incredible, Doctor!”

“Wait. Don’t tell me…” Is he going to use it to bolster his army?!

Ejil whirled his cape behind him. “With this, I shall make Noela mine!”

Oh, right. It’s Ejil. My bad, I forgot.

“This is it, my dear Noela!” Ejil poured some potion into a cup and then mixed in millet dumpling paste.

“Garoo?!” Noela didn’t even try to resist. Instead, she darted toward Ejil, grabbed the cup, and chugged the drink.

“Well, what do you think, Noela? Can we be friends?”

“No, Ejil. Impossible is impossible.”

“Wh-what?!”

Game, set, match.

I understood Noela’s reaction. The millet dumpling paste increased a monster’s affinity for someone by a huge margin, but if they loathed that person, it would barely make a difference.

“Why?!” Ejil yelped. “You tricked me, Doctor!”

“You made your bed, now lie in it. And don’t waste products like that. I’m deducting the cost of the potion you opened from your salary.”

“Right. Sorry.”

If the millet dumpling paste didn’t work, Ejil’s got no chance in hell, huh?