Chapter 10: Enjoying a Tiny Test Drive

Chapter 10:
Enjoying a Tiny Test Drive

 

OUTSIDE THE DRUGSTORE, I could hear Doz and Annabelle chatting.

“Hey, Doz, keep a stiff upper lip! You’re really a pain in the ass!”

“Sorry, Boss!”

I got up and took a look. Doz was sitting down, and Annabelle stood beside him, heaving a sigh.

“Hi, folks. Is something wrong?”

“Ah! Pharmacist! This oaf dropped his guard durin’ training!” Annabelle said, and Doz hung his head. “He messed up his leg. The Brigade just ran outta potions, so I came to grab some!”

“You all right, Doz?”

“I messed up bad, Medicine God.”

I hurriedly got a few potions from the drugstore and then headed out. “Here.”

“I owe ya, Pharmacist,” Annabelle said. “Sorry I’m always relyin’ on you.”

I shook my head. “Bringing someone who’s been hurt for a potion is no problem.”

“In principle, it ain’t. But in emergencies, Red Cat Brigade members have to carry the injured!” Annabelle retorted. “And, heck, sometimes we all gotta retreat at once!”

“In emergencies, huh?” They must have to carry the casualties if there’s a fire or something. Or if people get hurt during bandit attacks. Just imagining it gives me the chills.

“That’s all fine and dandy if we’ve got enough potions,” Annabelle added. “But if we run out, we gotta haul damn heavy cargo!”

Annabelle’s second-in-command was so huge, I could see how moving him would be tricky. Potions healed most injuries, but not instantaneously, so selling Annabelle a bunch wouldn’t fix the problem.

“Sorry to be damn heavy cargo, Boss,” Doz apologized again. After drinking a potion, he checked his injured left leg and then rose to his feet. “Ugh! O-ow… It still hurts a little, but it’s nothin’ I can’t deal with.”

“Sit down, numbskull,” Annabelle snapped. “What’ll you do if it gets worse?”

“She’s right. Please stop pushing yourself.” I let Doz lean on my shoulder, helping him sit.

“I ain’t got any issue with how your potions work—they’re the best,” Annabelle told me. “That’s why I’d hate to ask you for more help.” Nonetheless, it went without saying that looking out for Red Cat Brigade members was her job as captain.

“Annabelle’s tough as nails, huh?” I whispered to Doz.

“Sure is. That’s part of her charm!”

The Red Cat Brigade had helped me out quite a bit, and I totally understood why Annabelle was exasperated. “Hrm. Something other than a potion…”

My medicine-making skill responded. Hunh. I can make that, eh?

“Mind if I try creating a new product?” I asked Annabelle.

“Huh? That’s fine with me, but, uh…what’re you thinkin’?”

“I want to make something to help you if someone gets injured and there’re no potions around. I’ll get Doz to test it.”

Annabelle’s face lit up as she guessed my intent. “I get it now! You’re gonna make poison to put ’em outta their misery!”

“Wrong!” Damn, she’s violent.

Annabelle cracked up.

“You’re so mean sometimes, Boss!” Doz complained.

“I was just kiddin’! Pharmacist, if you’ve got a good plan, give it a try.”

Hearing Annabelle’s encouragement, I decided to plow ahead with no ifs, ands, or buts. I holed up in the lab, gathered and measured some ingredients, and mixed them.

“With this stuff, the Red Cat Brigade should be able to transport any wounded with ease,” I muttered. “It’ll be especially useful for moving big groups of people.”

The bottle’s contents glowed, showing that I’d created a new product.

 

Giant Minimizer: People and animals that ingest this liquid temporarily shrink to fit in a human palm.

 

Bam! No more struggling to carry things—well, to carry people or animals, at least.

I brought Doz and Annabelle the first bottle of giant minimizer right away. “Doz, if you drink this, you’ll shrink.”

“No way!” Annabelle exclaimed. “Actually…yes way. After all, you made this product.” She and Doz inspected the bottle curiously. “So, if someone’s injured and can’t move, this makes ’em easier to carry?”

“Right,” I confirmed. “I’d still recommend potions over this stuff. But if you don’t have any, or if you just drank a potion and can’t afford to wait to heal, this giant minimizer should be handy.”

“I see.” Annabelle lifted her chin. “Hey! Doz!”

He nodded. “I’ll take some, Medicine God!”

“Isn’t it about time you stopped calling me that? I’d appreciate it.” With a smug grin, I handed Doz the bottle, and he promptly downed the liquid. “How’s it taste?”

“Fine. Not delicious or anythin’, but it ain’t terrible.”

I quickly rubbed my eyes. Doz and his clothes had just shrunk by about half. His giant frame was now around the size of mine. Wait, no! He’s even smaller now!

“Wha—?!” Doz shouted. “Boss? Reiji? Is it just me, or are you two bigger?!”

“Other way around, Doz. You’re tiny!” I said. He actually kept shrinking. “Whoa! Look at that! You’re so small!”

“No kiddin’!” Annabelle agreed.

Doz was now one-tenth his normal size. The tiny veteran mercenary seemed shocked. “You two are gigantic!”

“Hunh. That stuff really could come in handy,” Annabelle mused. “Carryin’ tons of injured patients can be rough, and it ain’t like potions heal everythin’ right away.”

According to my medicine-making skill, the potions the drugstore currently sold were the strongest possible without side effects, so I hadn’t created more powerful ones.

Smack! Annabelle flicked Mini-Doz with her middle finger.

As her fingertip made contact, her second-in-command flew about thirty centimeters backward. “Eyaaaah!”

“Um… Annabelle?” Despite my serious tone, Annabelle was belly-laughing, flicking tears out of her eyes. This must be pretty funny to her. “Doing that could literally kill him,” I warned her.

I tried to find Mini-Doz but had no luck. Where’d he go? Seriously, he just landed here a second ago. Is he okay?

After a while, I spotted Mini-Doz directly below Annabelle. She was still cackling; meanwhile, he stared straight upward with a solemn expression. When did he get there?

“Standing under her isn’t a great idea, Doz. You’re going to get killed.”

“Reiji, I’ve got important news,” Doz called up to me. “The boss’s panties are—”

Those were his final words before Annabelle’s boot squashed him. Crunch!

“What’d I tell you, Doz?!” I cried.

Enraged, Annabelle smooshed him with her foot. Doz was twitching. Yikes.

“What gave you the right to do that, shrunk or not?!” she snapped.

“L-Listen, Reiji…”

Ah. He survived.

“The boss may have a foul mouth and act manly, but she’s dressed prim underneath!”

Crunch!

“Doz!” He looks so peaceful. Like he doesn’t have any regrets in the world.

Annabelle, on the other hand, blushed as she picked up the (unconscious?) Doz and flung him into the horizon. “Hmph!”

“Make sure the little guy gets back to the barracks,” I said. He might actually be dead, though.

Annabelle looked away, her ears bright red. “P-please forget what he said about dressin’ prim or whatever.”

“Hey, I didn’t hear or see a thing.”

“Hmm. Good.”

Annabelle left, saying she’d swing by to purchase some giant minimizer once we’d stocked it, since it’d proven useful.

I wonder whether Doz will get home alive.

 

***

 

A few days later, Doz slinked into the store. His height was back to normal, but he was wearing a disguise. “Sell me that giant minimizer stuff, Reiji.”

“No way. You’ll just do something creepy again, won’t you?”

Doz shrugged. Apparently, he didn’t regret his actions at all. “With a bottle of that, it’d be easy to glimpse the captain in the bath, or changin’, or—”

“Think again, you damn pervert!” No wonder Annabelle treats him the way she does.

“That giant minimizer’s great for peepin’ Toms!” he insisted.

Sure, but couldn’t you phrase that in a less gross way?

Thanks to guys like Doz, Kirio Drugs sold giant minimizer to Annabelle exclusively.