Chapter 2: They Never Make It to the Sticks

Chapter 2:
They Never Make It to the Sticks

 

“I’M NOT SAYING they never pop up.”

“You aren’t?”

Paula apparently had nothing to do. She’d left her tool shop and wandered into the drugstore, where she was currently making me listen to her gripe.

“They drop in once in a blue moon.” She pushed up her glasses and sighed. “But they just take a quick look and leave. You can see that they aren’t crazy about the stock I carry here in the middle of nowhere.”

Paula was talking about adventurers. Unfortunately, she couldn’t do much to attract them, considering that her tool shop pulled triple duty as a weapon store and armor store. It just couldn’t compare to a big-city joint.

Mina poked her head in. “Ah, Miss Paula! Welcome.”

Paula waved. “You’re looking as ladylike as ever, Mina!”

I sighed. “You sound like an old man.”

Mina laughed and waved me off. “That’s fine, Reiji!”

“Come hang out with me for a bit,” Paula suggested.

“Could you please stop hassling my employees?” I rolled my eyes.

Mina, unsure of how to react to Paula, forced a smile. “Um, should I bring out some tea, Mr. Reiji?”

“Nah. Paula will head home soon.”

Mina bowed slightly and retreated.

“Don’t be like that, Rei Rei,” Paula pouted. “We’re both shopkeepers. We have plenty to chat about.”

“Not anymore. We’ve run out of small talk, since you drop in literally every day.”

“Know what? My joint’s got good stuff for sale, Rei Rei! Those adventurers just—”

“You’re gonna keep babbling?” I grimaced. “Must be nice to have so much free time.”

Paula paid me no mind, continuing to rant despite my tone. “If they looked properly, they’d find good equipment. But they don’t even bother!”

“That’s because your store is way too dark and cramped. Frankly, it feels like an antique shop.”

“What?! That’s not true! I make sure to polish all my merchandise!”

Even if she did, it wasn’t leaving a great impression. “Then you’re worse at upkeep than I thought.”

Then again, I’ve only been to Paula’s shop once. Maybe I’m misremembering things.

“Wanna come take a look?” Paula invited.

I’d have been lying if I said I wasn’t a bit curious after this conversation. I scratched my head and stood. “Mina? Noela? I’m dropping in on Paula’s place for a sec. Watch the store!”

“Garroo!”

“All right!”

Leaving Kirio Drugs, Paula and I made our way toward the tool shop.

“Can you really leave your shop completely unattended?” I asked. “What if a customer drops in?”

“Pfft. It’s fine. No one’s actually gonna come by.”

I was tempted to ask about thieves. Then again, this little backwater village was pretty safe. I hadn’t heard of a single disturbance besides that bandit issue a while back.

I followed the lackadaisical Paula into the tool shop. Yup, just as I thought. She stuffed too much merchandise in here. And barely any light comes in the windows!

“Way too dark,” I muttered. “That’s why adventurers leave immediately.”

“You think? I don’t know…this lighting seems perfectly normal to me.”

“You’re used to it. You’re always holed up in here.”

“I see.” Paula didn’t seem at all convinced.

Fine. Time to prove it to her. I repositioned some armor sitting in front of a window, allowing light to flood in.

“Whoa! It’s brighter in here, Rei Rei!”

“Right?” Like I said, this place is way too dark.

“I’m counting on you to clear the rest of the windows!”

“Excuse me?” I grabbed Paula’s collar as she fled. “You’re going to help.”

“‘Help?’ So, you’re going to clean up with me?”

“Gah. I should’ve kept my dumb mouth shut.” I sighed. “Considering the clutter in here, I bet your inventory’s a mess too, right?”

The two of us began tidying separate areas. “You know, I think I might need my own counter person,” Paula mused. “A cute girl, preferably. Someone like Mina.”

“I’m not giving you Mina.”

“Then how about little Noela? If I offered her a cool sword, I think she’d be interested.”

“Don’t bait her with presents. I know for a fact that it’ll work.”

Noela lived free as a bird. Could she actually put her nose to the grindstone in a store full of treasure? Nah, impossible. When I’d visited the tool shop with her, she played by herself the whole time.

“Noela’s off limits,” I told Paula. “I count on her in the woods. Plus, she perks me up.”

“Fine. I’ll settle for you, Rei Rei.”

She couldn’t phrase that better?

“‘Rei Rei’ is a shopkeeper,” I reminded Paula. “Please stop trying to recruit at my drugstore. There’s got to be some other place you can do that.”

“That’s the problem! There are no cute counter girls anywhere else!”

“If that’s your criteria, why did you try to poach me?”

We kept talking shop while we organized Paula’s inventory. The plan was to leave only the necessary products in the front, packing everything else away.

“See?” I asked eventually. “Doesn’t it feel more spacious?”

“It really does! It’s bright, too! Awesome. Now, time to clean up together! Woo!” Paula grinned at me.

“Woo!” I went along with her momentarily. Damn it! She tripped me up again.

Paula cackled. “Bwa ha ha!”

Letting out a sigh, I grabbed a broom and started sweeping the floor. Looking up for a moment, I noticed a piece of iron armor we’d left on display. It was definitely darker than it should’ve been. It had probably gone unsold for so long that it tarnished.

“Have you polished this properly?” I asked Paula.

“How rude! There’s no dust on it, is there? I go over it with oil at least once a week.”

“Once a week? Seriously?”

“Ah ha ha! Well, you saw how much inventory I have. Polishing all this stuff is hard, you know.”

Polishing the armor wasn’t the issue. When I looked carefully, I spotted some small dents. If Paula had taken care of this thing properly, it would’ve sold a long time ago.

“I can’t keep stuff in mint condition when it doesn’t sell,” she insisted.

“What if you could?” I asked.

“Pardon?”

Thanks to my medicine-making skill, a new product had appeared in my mind. Paula and I might be able to make this armor look flawless.

“I’m heading back to the drugstore for a bit,” I told her.

“Huh? Why?”

“I have an idea. I’m gonna create something that’ll make that armor as good as new.”

“Really?! Alchemists can make stuff like that?! Amazing!”

“I’m not an alchemist,” I told the thunderstruck Paula, leaving the tool shop and heading home.

Mina and Noela shot me puzzled looks as I holed up in the lab without saying a word. I grabbed some herbs and roots I didn’t usually use, making a tree-sap base.

 

Polishing Solution: Gets rid of minor dents and wear and tear.

 

Perfect. I’d created exactly what I intended. Bottling the solution, I rushed back to Paula’s tool shop.

“Whoa. You’re already done?” she gaped.

I gave Paula a rag and poured a few drops of polishing solution onto it.

“Should I wipe the armor down with this?”

“Yup. Give it a try.”

“Uh…okay.”

One wipe. Two wipes. The rag made the iron armor squeak.

“Wha…? Amazing! It’s like new! Look, Rei Rei!”

Paula pointed at a spot that now shone light silver. The rest of the iron armor was still tarnished.

“Yup. That spot’s totally different,” I confirmed.

“This polishing solution is wicked! An incredible invention! This armor’s gonna be brand spanking new again!”

When Paula finished shining the armor, I took a close look and couldn’t spot the dents from before.

“I think I can sell this, Rei Rei. Nobody will write off my shop anymore!”

“Well, I’m not sure you can avoid that given your selection, but…”

“Excuse me?!”

I pretended not to hear her. “I suppose I’ll do some polishing, too.”

I began shining one of the iron gauntlets on display. The polishing solution’s transformative effect honestly made the process pretty fun. Paula and I wound up using it on all the goods in the store.

“I-It’s super-duper bright in here! My inventory is legit crazy shiny, Rei Rei!”

“Paula, have you considered using more polished vocabulary when talking to potential customers?”

“Nah. Don’t sweat the deets!”

The tool shop looked completely different. With nothing blocking its windows, the store was full of light, and all the merchandise shone radiantly.

Talk about an insane before-and-after. This kind of reminds me of those old DIY shows back in my world.

“Arrrooo! Master! Master! Sterma! Asterm! Master’s tune!”

I glanced out the window and saw Noela walking over, singing a truly bizarre song. She must’ve gotten bored.

Entering the tool shop, Noela tilted her head. “Wrong store?”

She closed the door and left. The shop’s transformation was so all-encompassing that she had decided she’d gotten lost.

“All right!” Paula enthused. “Things are gonna bustle around here! Time to get this party going!”

I dealt with her excitement and then, eventually, went home.

 

***

 

A week later, Paula dropped in to complain again.

“We gotta find a way to get more adventurers to visit Kalta, you know?”

“Hunh. We do?”

“Yeah. We should build a dungeon or something. I bet you could manage that, Rei Rei.”

“Like hell I could. What do you think pharmacists even do?”

“Travelers barely pass by to begin with.” Paula slapped her forehead, exasperated. “Of course I can’t sell equipment!”

I sighed.

Paula glanced at me. “You were just thinking about how annoying I am, weren’t you?”

“Hm? I’ve been thinking that for a while, to be honest.”

“Ah ha ha…huh?” Paula’s expression got serious. Her eyes went glassy, and her mouth gaped.

Heh. It was kind of funny, actually. “I’m kidding, for real. I promise I wasn’t thinking that you were annoying. And hey, if adventurers visit, I’m sure your stuff will sell.”

“Yeah. You’re right,” Paula muttered.

Moments ago, this bespectacled young woman had been her usual, bouncy self. Now I was comforting her, and it took quite a while to get her back to normal.

Note to self: teasing Paula like that doesn’t go well.