Chapter 4: Company Retreat!

Chapter 4:
Company Retreat!

 

ABOUT A WEEK BACK, I’d raised the question of where to go on the drugstore company retreat. Since then, it was all anyone in the house had talked about.

However, the three of us lacked info on the outside world. Mina left the house for the first time in a hundred years just recently, Noela was Noela, and I didn’t know jack about anywhere besides Kalta. I ended up talking to Zeral; I expected a rich guy to know what the best spots were. He recommended the port town of San Logro.

That brought us to now. I’d closed the drugstore for three days, and the girls and I left the house behind. Mina sat next to me during the carriage ride to our destination. She sniffled, holding her head in her hands.

“What’s wrong, Mina?” I asked. “Feeling okay?”

“I just never thought this day would come! I’m so happy.”

“You’ve been working super hard, so this is my way of saying thanks for everything. Come on, don’t cry.”

“I know, I know. I’m just so glad I’m alive!”

Actually, you’re dead. I decided that I probably shouldn’t point that out.

Noela must’ve overheard Mina. She pulled her face back from the carriage window, tail wagging. “Mina not alive.”

“Oh, right—I’m dead. I’m so glad!”

Seriously?!

Our fun carriage journey ended after several hours, and we found ourselves in the port town of San Logro. The coast wasn’t far; around San Logro, it was all just ocean.

“Master! Master! Smell ocean!” Noela wagged her tail quickly. She wore a small backpack.

“Yeah. It smells like the seashore.”

Entering San Logro, we discovered a bustling marketplace befitting a port town. All kinds of stalls sold rare fish and tools we’d never seen.

“It’s so lively here!” exclaimed Mina. She wore a wide-brimmed hat, and her white one-piece made her look like an heiress visiting her family’s summer resort.

The three of us headed to the dock to look at the boats. Over the course of the afternoon, we watched fishermen fillet a huge fish, ate sashimi, and enjoyed everything there was to enjoy in San Logro.

“I hear there’s a beach nearby, Mr. Reiji,” Mina told me.

“Oh, right. Zeral said something about that,” I replied. “Let’s go look tomorrow.”

We’d gotten to San Logro after lunch, so time really flew. We wound up eating dinner at a local tavern, ordering all kinds of seafood specialties. Noela barely held herself back as she devoured the array of food. This is business as usual for her.

“This fish is so delicious,” Mina cooed.

I heard a voice from directly behind us and listened in.

“Sister Birdra’s medicine is apparently amazing.”

“Who’s Sister Birdra?”

“You don’t know her? She’s a nun here on pilgrimage.” The voice added that Sister Birdra was working out of the local church.

“Oh, right. I’ve heard about her. She makes medicine that can heal anything.”

“Yeah. It’s kind of expensive, but I’m not sure you can put a price on a panacea.”

She makes a real cure-all?

“I think we should carry two or three of her panaceas at all times.”

“You’re probably right. Should we buy some?”

“Good idea. Sister Birdra’s still in town for now, but still, we should order them quickly.”

Maybe I should buy some, too, I reflected. Food for thought. Heck, I might be able to replicate it.

The sun set, and Mina, Noela, and I checked into a nice inn.

 

***

 

The next day, I made my way toward the church Sister Birdra was staying at. Since this was work, I sent Noela and Mina off to enjoy themselves. They were probably using their travel allowance to eat everything their hearts desired.

When I’d heard the word “panacea,” I couldn’t help thinking of ground dragon claws or secret elven medicine. Wait. Why would a nun make medicine? It was possible Sister Birdra did so using holy powers, given that my pharmaceutical skill seemed ripped straight out of fantasy novels.

As I headed toward the church, my ear caught a familiar voice. “What sort of fortune will you ask Sister Birdra to tell, Noela?”

“Compatibility with Master.”

“Oh! I’m interested in that as well. I’ve heard that she’s quite accurate!”

Noela and Mina were walking just ahead of me. What were they up to? Had Mina said “Sister Birdra” and something about fortunes? It wasn’t like I was tailing them, but I did end up keeping my distance from the pair. They made their way into the church, and I quietly followed, watching what they did from afar.

The church was dusty and didn’t look as though it was used much. Near the altar was a table where a nun—most likely Birdra—waited. From afar, I could tell that she was young, which surprised me. She can make medicine and tell fortunes at that age?

The good sister gestured for Mina to sit across from her.

“Your destined someone…is nearby,” she told Mina.

“Huh?!”

“They are, aren’t they?”

“Um…I-I don’t know.”

“Also, be careful. You might catch a life-threatening disease.”

“What?! What should I do?”

Um, Mina, you’re dead. I sighed. Why are you freaking out? You have nothing to worry about.

The nun said all kinds of things to Mina, who eventually picked up a paper bag and stood. “I’ll be fine if I drink this, right?”

“Of course. Good luck!”

“Good luck with what?”

The nun quietly ignored Mina’s question, moving on. “All right! Next!”

Noela sat. “Compatibility with Master, please.”

“Let’s see. Your master is a kind person.”

“Garoo!” Noela nodded, seeming terribly interested in how Sister Birdra had guessed that.

“Your compatibility with your master… Oh! It’s remarkably promising.”

“Remarkably…promising…” Noela nodded again, though she didn’t really seem to get the nun’s prediction.

“However, your master may catch an awful sickness soon.”

For real?

“Fear not,” the nun continued. “If you have him drink this panacea daily, he’ll be fine.”

Noela paid for the panacea and stood, her paper bag in hand. I guessed that was it for Sister Birdra’s fortune-telling. She basically just says something super general that would satisfy anyone.

Mina and Noela walked by, chatting. I panicked and quickly hid.

“When I get home, I’ll drink a little every day,” Mina declared.

“Make Master drink some daily!”

So, that panacea’s in their paper bags? Hrm…I’m getting a strange feeling from all this. I wasn’t religious, so I couldn’t help having my doubts about Sister Birdra. I didn’t know whether this world had a god, though. When the nun had finished fortune-telling, she’d said something about “going with God’s blessings,” whatever that meant.

Wait a second. Didn’t Mina and Noela come here to have their fortunes told? How’d they walk away with panaceas?

Whatever. I left the church and caught up with the girls. “Hey! What’d you ladies buy?”

“Ah, Mr. Reiji!” Mina exclaimed. “Are you already done with your work?”

“Yeah. I was looking into Sister Birdra’s panacea, and I happened to see you two buy some.”

Noela quickly presented me with her paper bag. “Drink some daily, Master!”

She seemed legitimately concerned about the fortune Sister Birdra had told. I patted her head gently, happy that she cared so much about my well-being.

This was a good chance to look into the supposed panacea. I opened Noela’s paper bag and found a packet of white powder.

“Master get sick,” Noela added. “Drink, no sick.”

“Um…Sister Birdra tells fortunes that often come true, so Noela and I both consulted her,” Mina added. “She said I’d get deathly ill, so I also bought some panacea.”

“No offense, but can you ‘get deathly ill’ when you’re already dead?”

“Gosh! You’re right!” Mina cried. “I’m such an airhead.”

I knew something was off. Sister Birdra was telling fortunes that applied to anyone and everyone. As long as a person was alive, the chance of falling ill one day was high. Birdra had told Noela something similar before selling her the panacea.

“How much did this stuff cost?” I asked.

“Um…the fortune was two thousand rin, and the medicine was ten thousand.”

If the white powder was a panacea, that wasn’t a terrible price. But only if it was real. I looked at the stuff with my identification skill.

 

Flour: Made from ground wheat.

 

“Wait a second…it’s just flour?”

I had Mina show me the panacea she’d bought. Sure enough, it was also ground wheat. I knew something was fishy.

“Mr. Reiji?”

“What wrong?”

“This isn’t medicine,” I told the girls. “It’s wheat flour.”

I had Mina open her bag and taste the powder. She cooked all the time, so she should understand immediately. “This is flour!” she exclaimed.

“Nun make mistake, Master!”

“We should go back and exchange these,” Mina added.

“I don’t think this was a mistake.” It pained me to have to explain that to these two delicate souls. “I think Sister Birdra purposely sold you flour and lied about it being a panacea. She’s scamming people.”

“But I also heard a rumor about her fortunes being accurate,” Mina protested. “Was that untrue as well?”

“The fortunes are based on something called the Barnum effect. The fortune-teller gives you a vague reading that could apply to anyone. It’s easy to think it hit the mark.”

“In retrospect, Sister Birdra never gave me any details,” Mina said.

“Same,” Noela agreed.

“The panacea supposedly works wonders, right?” I continued. “That’s called the placebo effect. The person taking the stuff believes it’s medicine, and their condition improves, even if there’s nothing useful in it.”

Rumors that Sister Birdra’s fortunes were accurate just lent the placebo panacea more power. Besides, the source of the panacea was a nun; of course people wanted to believe her and the masses who vouched for her. That was more than enough to make someone buy in.

“Th-then the panacea works because people in San Logro completely believe in it?”

“Yup,” I confirmed. “Sister Birdra’s using the placebo effect to fool everyone.”

Medicinal knowledge here seemed poorer than in my world. At Kirio Drugs, I sometimes heard stories that customers had visited the doctor for a condition, but they hadn’t been able to treat it. I saw why people wanted to believe in Birdra’s panacea.

“Mrm…” Noela looked frustrated. “Medicine fool people. Not good!”

“I completely agree, Noela,” I replied. Sister Birdra was selling plain old flour as a miracle drug. As a pharmacist, there was no way I could let her get away with that. “I think it’s about time for Kirio Drugs to dish out justice.”

 

Another Side

 

A nun stood on an empty box in the port town of San Logro, waving both hands at passersby. “Attention! Attention!”

Once she had attracted onlookers, the nun continued in a gentle voice. “Sister Birdra is making an important announcement at the church. It won’t take much time, so please head over!”

Quite a few people had stopped to listen, and most had interacted with Sister Birdra in some fashion—fortunes told, medicine purchased.

The nun hopped off the box. “Right this way! Come, everyone.”

She led the way to the church, and about fifty people followed her. Turning around once to confirm something, she exchanged glances with a black-haired youth at the very back of the crowd.

The nun nodded. Perfect. Everything’s going according to plan.

 

Another Side

 

As Sister Birdra counted the previous day’s sales, she heard a knock on the church doors.

Wham! Wham! Wham!

“What’s going on? Why knock so loudly?” She stuffed the money she’d earned into a bag, clicking her tongue before standing up. “This church is abandoned. They can just come in.”

Her complaint echoed through the large, empty nave.

Birdra had earned more than enough in San Logro. Before the day was over, she’d move on to the next town. If she stayed until people figured out that her panacea was a sham, it’d be too late.

Sister Birdra was hoping she could avoid any hassles today, but that seemed to be a lost cause. She opened the door, only to find a black-haired young man cradling a beastling.

“You’re Sister Birdra, right?! Help us! My girl…sh-she’s been unconscious since this morning!” He gazed down at the beastling. “I heard the town doctor’s no good! You’re the only one I can count on.”

“I understand. Come this way.” Sister Birdra put on her best serious expression, guiding the young man in.

There was but one thing she would do, however. She reached into her bag, pulled out a packet of flour, and turned back to the young man, smiling. “This panacea should help her.”

“Oh my gosh—bless you! Will this save her?!” The young man stared at the nun.

She continued to smile, nodding. “Yes. However, I don’t have much left, and it’s quite a valuable medicine. Sadly, I cannot give it to you for free.”

“O-of course not! How much is it?”

The young man looked as though he was fighting tears, which tickled Birdra’s sadistic heart. Under the circumstances, she might as well rip him off. She would have to hire several bodyguards after leaving town, so she decided to charge enough to cover their fees. “Thirty thousand rin.”

“Th-that much? Um…I heard you sold it for ten thousand.”

“That was because I still had plenty in stock.” Sister Birdra smiled. Gracefully denying the man’s words was her way of asking him to leave.

“But I only have ten thousand rin!”

The nun was exasperated, yet she closed her eyes apologetically. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t go lower than thirty thousand…and people in the next town await my arrival.”

“Then just give me ten thousand rin worth of the medicine! Please!”

How sad. He could get plenty of flour from the marketplace! A smile slipped through. “I will. I understand.”

“Thank you so much!”

What a fool, Sister Birdra thought. She collected his money and then gave him a spoonful of “panacea.”

Knock, knock, knock.

The sound came from behind the altar. The young man’s gaze sharpened as he looked over. Birdra tilted her head, puzzled, and then noticed that the man was already feeding the beastling girl the flour.

“Will she be okay now?” he asked.

“Of course. As long as you believe in God, she’ll be fine,” Birdra said, annoyed that she’d already spent way too much time on this pair.

“Heh.”

Sister Birdra thought she heard the young man chuckle, but his expression was clearly serious. He wouldn’t have laughed in this situation, anyway. She must’ve misheard him.

“Will she awaken soon?” he added. “Or does she need to keep taking more panacea until she’s better?”

Each question further irritated Sister Birdra. Pulling back her veil and scratching her head, she let out a long, built-up sigh.

She’d made enough money to live comfortably for a while. Even if some folks saw through her lies, rumors wouldn’t travel as long as she went far enough away.

“Are we done here?” she snapped, her voice echoing through the abandoned church. “I need to get going. Look, the medicine you wanted so badly is just some stupid flour. Got it? Ah ha ha ha ha! Surprised? How does it feel to be so stupid?!”

The once-kindhearted nun had turned cruel and foulmouthed. However, to Birdra’s confusion, the man didn’t seem remotely surprised.

“Flour?” he repeated. “Then you’ve been selling a fake cure-all?”

“Damn right! Old wheat flour I bought on the cheap in another town! Just saying I was a nun made all you idiots come buy it off me, and you were so grateful. Hell of a business!”

“Th-then the panacea doesn’t have any healing effects?”

“It must have some. If it doesn’t, that just means you didn’t believe hard enough!”

“This can’t be! You’ve been tricking everyone in town?!” the man cried.

Sister Birdra shouted too, enjoying the back and forth. “It’s their fault for being idiots. Gah ha ha ha ha!”

As she chortled, the door behind the altar opened.

A blonde nun pointed at the pair. “There you have it, everyone! Sister Birdra’s announcement today!” The host of villagers behind her looked enraged.

“H-huh?” gaped Sister Birdra.

The black-haired young man chuckled. “Sorry! Heh heh… I’m glad we took care of this so quickly. I knew from the start that the ‘panacea’ was flour. But since everyone totally bought into it, they’d have dismissed me if I warned them. The fastest way was for you to convince them yourself!”

He patted the beastling’s shoulder; she quickly opened her eyes. “Done, Master?”

“Yup. Brilliant performance, Noela.”

Sister Birdra ground her teeth. “Rat bastard! You planned to trick me from the start?!”

The young man snorted. “Who’s the one who said ‘it’s their fault for being idiots’?”

One by one, angry townsfolk came out from behind the blonde nun.

“I think you owe us an explanation!”

“And, depending on what you say, we may haul your butt off to the knights!”

“Give back our money! All of it!”

Surrounded, Sister Birdra shrugged. “Er, about your money…I already spent it all, so…”

“The cash is in that bag over there!” The young man pointed, drawing everyone’s gazes.

“Stop! That’s my money, my everything! Even what I earned in other towns! Please, I’ll refund you, I swear!” Sister Birdra fell to her knees, defeated.

The young man patted her shoulder, waving the ten-thousand-rin bill he’d paid her. “Lying isn’t going to get you anywhere.”

Before leaving with the beastling girl and blonde nun, he turned to look at Birdra one last time.

“When I first heard about your so-called panacea, I thought something was up. There shouldn’t be anyone around who can make something like that—other than me, that is. It’s best not to underestimate medicine making.”

 

Reiji’s Side

 

In the end, San Logro’s knights jailed Birdra. When they investigated, we found out she wasn’t a nun—just a swindler with zero connection to the church. The truth became clear by dinnertime, and the entire town was discussing it.

The girls and I were back at the inn, relaxing. Until a few moments ago, Noela had been dangling her feet on my bed; now she was fast asleep.

“So,” Mina inquired, “Miss Birdra wasn’t a nun at all?”

“No. But she was clever, that’s for sure,” I replied. “Calling herself Sister Birdra made her seem trustworthy.”

“Ah. Now that you mention it, that’s true.”

“Anyway, I’m glad we stopped her little black-market business.”

“We have your amazing performance to thank for that, Mr. Reiji!”

“Please. You exaggerate.”

Mina sighed. “We’re heading home tomorrow.”

“Shame we wound up spending a whole day on this nonsense,” I replied. “I could always extend our stay, though.”

She shook her head, smiling. “I’m more than satisfied with our company retreat, Mr. Reiji. Besides, we have all the time in the world to do this again.”

“You’re right. We’ll have to come back to San Logro together.” I returned Mina’s warm grin.