Chapter 17: The Security-Balloon Battle

Chapter 17:
The Security-Balloon Battle

 

SINCE OUR HOUSE doubled as a drugstore, we were always at risk of being robbed.

“We should probably have a security system, huh?” I asked Mina. She was watching the store with me, since she’d finished her chores.

Noela, on the other hand, had her head in my lap as she slept. “Noela protect Master,” she murmured.

If Noela could watch the drugstore consistently, burglary wouldn’t be an issue. She spent a lot of the average day napping, though, so I was considering security measures for when Mina and I looked after the shop.

“Good idea,” Mina replied. “I could escape robbers in my astral body, but I worry about you, Mr. Reiji.”

“Right! When it comes to avoiding physical injuries, you’re actually the toughest of us three.”

“I don’t know how I feel about you calling me the ‘toughest,’ since I’m a delicate young girl,” Mina laughed, and then frowned at me. “If a burglar ever popped up here, even I would be terrified.”

“You’d scare them, if anything,” I replied. “Imagine a store’s counter girl just vanishing, and the merchandise starting to shake and float around.” Mina was a legit poltergeist. “I guess I’m the only one who actually needs security,” I concluded.

“I do, too!” Mina waved both hands, stubborn as a mule.

I’d once seen a news story that said banks held special training sessions on robberies and burglaries. Jeez, it’d be great if the Red Cat Brigade offered a service where they ran over if something happened to your store.

For the record, I still had a bottle of the capshin fluid I’d given the brigade to use against bandits. The problem was that the fluid was a double-edged sword—you had to be upwind to use it.

Couldn’t I come up with something less dangerous…? Ah!

“Mina, could you buy some water balloons from the general store?” I asked. If I remembered correctly, those were easy to find in this world; Alf had told me a while ago that he had a bunch left over from a festival.

“Sure,” Mina replied. “Are you going to use them for security?”

“Yup.”

“I see! Then I better get them as soon as possible. Mm-hmm! I need them, too, since it’d endanger us both if anyone broke in.”

Mina’s really trying to sell me on her helplessness, huh?

Grabbing her wallet, Mina immediately made for the general store. I woke Noela up and left the storefront to her, then hunkered down in the lab.

I wasn’t creating a weapon, or anything to attack a robber directly. Still, it’d be useful against criminals fleeing a scene, and having more than one would safeguard a store. A bunch of places in Kalta could use the somewhat-unique product—the general store, the tool shop, the Rabbit Tavern—so I made enough of it for everyone.

 

Special Coating X: Yellow paint. Difficult to remove after application. Visible at night.

 

Perfect. Now, all I have to do is fill those water balloons with this stuff.

Mina had just gotten home. I called her into the lab and explained what I’d made.

She stared at the yellow paint. “Wow. This’ll mark any criminal who breaks into the drugstore?”

“Yup.”

We carefully filled the balloons with Special Coating X. I’d asked Noela to get Paula and Annabelle; I figured I should explain this new tool to them both. Despite Paula’s attitude, she was still the owner of the tool shop, and Annabelle led the mercenary brigade guarding the town.

“Done!” Mina exclaimed.

About a hundred water balloons were now full of the special coating. As we carried them into the store, Paula and Annabelle arrived.

“What’s shaking, Rei Rei?” asked Paula. “Need your big sis for something? If you’re gonna confess your love to me, wait till the two of us are alone!”

Noela, Mina, and Annabelle stared at me.

“Paula, stop saying dumb stuff like that, damn it. That’s not why I called you here.”

Annabelle sat in a nearby chair, crossing her long legs. “What’s up? You never go out of your way to ask me over.”

You know how some folks just look stunning when they cross their arms or legs? Annabelle was totally one of them. But I digress.

“Um, I wanted to explain these security balloons to you both.” I gave them the rundown; the pair listened carefully.

Paula grabbed a balloon and inspected it. “This is it, eh? Hunh.”

“Those could certainly be useful,” Annabelle admitted. “But, uh, we’ve never really had thieves in town.”

“Tee hee! Miss Annabelle, security is about preventing crime,” Mina chimed in.

Annabelle’s brow twitched. “There’s nothin’ to prevent, as long as the Red Cat Brigade’s watchin’ over things!”

“The point is that now we have something just in case!”

Mina and Annabelle stared each other down, electrifying the atmosphere. Man, these two butt heads a lot, huh? I’d noticed that during the Rabbit Tavern’s Extra-Large Challenge.

“What’ll you do if something happens to Mr. Reiji?” Mina snapped at Annabelle. “Or poor, weak little me?”

“You? Weak? You know that ain’t true. Else you wouldn’t come at me like you do! You got balls.”

“H-how rude! I’ll have you know I’m a young lady and don’t have anything of the sort!” Mina cried, taking Annabelle literally.

She tossed a security balloon at Annabelle, who tried to deflect it. The balloon exploded, covering Annabelle’s hand with the yellow paint inside.

“Mr. Reiji, they really do work! Look, she can’t get the special coating off.” Mina beamed at me.

Annabelle squeezed the balloon scraps in her hand. “Outside, freeloader.”

“Hmph! Bring it!” Mina retorted.

Don’t bring it! Stop!

They each grabbed a security balloon, heading outside.

“Could you two calm down for a second?” I pleaded. “You’re not supposed to use the security balloons like this!”

Both women glared at me.

“Quiet, Mr. Reiji.”

“Shut up, Pharmacist.”

“Er…okay.”

This was already a lost cause.

“We’ll start back-to-back, walk five paces, then throw,” Annabelle informed Mina once they were outdoors. “Got it?”

“Understood. If I win, though, you need to stop stalking Mr. Reiji!”

“I-I ain’t doin’ that! Ah—if I win, you gotta stop lettin’ the Pharmacist pay for everythin’.”

“Fine. It isn’t like I’m going to lose anyway.”

“I’m holdin’ you to that,” Annabelle told her. “Can’t wait to see you flip out when this’s over!”

Jeez. This was a real showdown—a duel in the name of honor and pride. All I could do at this point was watch them.

As I stared at Annabelle and Mina, Noela’s tail wagged excitedly. She was clearly enthralled, her eyes sparkling. “Noela, too!”

I have a bad feeling about this.

Noela trotted back into the drugstore, and as I expected, returned holding the rest of the security balloons. While Annabelle and Mina carefully counted their steps, the werewolf girl approached and flung a balloon at them, covering them in yellow paint.

Swoosh! Swoosh! Noela wagged her tail rapidly.

“Garroooo! Noela wins!”

Please, Noela. Read the room.

“Why did you do that, Noela?!”

“Beast girl!”

The pair glared daggers, flinging their balloons.

Noela dodged like it was nothing. “Too slow!”

She’s absurdly athletic, I noted.

Splat! One security balloon hit something behind Noela—namely, Paula. Her glasses now painted yellow, Paula trembled.

“Paula? You okay?” I asked. “Um, they didn’t do that on purpose, so could you laugh this off? Pretty please? You’re like our big sis, right?”

“It’s…”

“It’s…?”

“It’s on!” Paula yelped into the open air, rummaging through the “ammunition box” Noela had brought outside. She stood up with balloons in hand, hurling them at the other girls.

“You’re never going to hit me like that, Paula!”

“No sweat!”

“Too slow!”

As Mina, Annabelle, and Noela dodged, Paula’s two security balloons struck the ground and burst, their contents splattering far and wide. They covered everyone present with paint, including me.

Paula pushed up her gunk-covered glasses. “I don’t need to hit anyone to get paint on you guys.”

I hadn’t thought that Paula was the strategic type, but here we were. Guess those glasses aren’t just for show. Well, maybe they are right now—she definitely can’t see through them.

Thanks to Paula’s earlier attack, I was covered in Special Coating X. And, truth be told, I wanted to join this security-balloon fight.

As I lifted a balloon and met Noela’s eyes, a thin excuse left my lips. “I mean, I have to test the drugstore’s products.”

Noela shook her finger at me. “No throw at Noela, Master!”

“Time to show you a Japanese guy’s fighting spirit!”

The girls and I got into a massive battle, soaking each other with yellow paint. The fight included alliances, betrayals, collusion, cooperation, secret communications, and an anti-Noela coalition. We became insanely suspicious of each other, trusted our backs to one another, and betrayed each other, then formed new teams and sought revenge.

By the time we ran out of security balloons, the four of us had collapsed on the road, total wrecks. When we’d started, it was just past noon, but now it was dark out.

Wait. “What’re we even doing?” I asked.

“Good question.”

“Noela not thinking anything.”

I figured.

“Gosh, Rei Rei, my muscles are gonna kill me tomorrow,” Paula whined.

“You guys wasted my time, and now I’m covered in this crap.” Annabelle shook her head, exasperated. “Still, I guess…”

“That was pretty fun,” everyone present agreed.

The street was a mess, so we started cleaning up together. Obviously, it was more than we could handle, so we asked the Red Cat Brigade for help.

Alf came over as well, curious about what I’d done with the water balloons. “You’re hopeless, buddy,” he laughed heartily.

The general store manager helped us clean up the paint, a smile on his face. Zeral also visited the drugstore and, seeing the chaos, decided to help clean, too.

I’d originally planned to get vegetables at the meadow today. Since I never showed up, however, a farmer couple arrived at the drugstore. Grinning, they pitched in.

Mina and the farmer’s wife eventually called, “Come eat dinner, everyone!”

The table was loaded with bread and soup, sort of like a family meal. I realized that a ton of people had helped clean the awful mess. I felt a little guilty, but more than that, I was tremendously grateful. It was a warm feeling, for sure.

“Master very popular!” Noela exclaimed.

“You think?”

She nodded proudly.

I figured it was less that I was popular and more that the townsfolk were genuinely nice. Thanks to their help, we’d cleaned the street way faster than I hoped. My slow, peaceful life had been a hoot today.