Chapter 5: The Friendly, Totally-Not-Scary Neighborhood Goblin

Chapter 5:
The Friendly, Totally-Not-Scary Neighborhood Goblin

 

MORNINGS WERE CHILLY these days, but at the same time, the air was fresh. As I prepared to open the drugstore, I heard Mina making breakfast in the back.

“Nice and peaceful,” I murmured.

As I appreciated this refreshing morning, Vivi popped in. “Good morning, Reiji!”

Oh, right. Vivi and Ejil are working today. “Hey. Morning.”

“Gyah gyah!”

I jumped. “What the heck was that?”

“Wha—you followed me?! I told you not to!” Vivi exclaimed.

“Gyah gyah?”

Vivi turned her back to me, crouching.

“Hey, what was that weird noise, Vivi?” I peeked over her shoulder to see a light-green humanoid creature with a wrinkled face and yellow eyes.

 

Goblin: Small monster. Lives in fields and wooded areas.

 

“What the hell?!” I cried. “A g-goblin?! What’re you doing, bringing a monster in here?!” I’d been in this world for some time, so I’d seen all kinds of creatures from afar in the woods and mountains. Still, I’d never seen a monster up close like this.

I distanced myself from the strange pair. “W-we gotta call Annabelle!” It was nothing to be proud of, but I could barely have squared off with a small dog. Against anything bigger or fiercer than that, I was doomed.

“No, wait!” Vivi cried. “The goblin followed me here by accident! I’ll take it outside town, all right? I won’t let it do anything bad!”

“Really? I mean, are you okay? Isn’t it dangerous?” I met the goblin’s eyes.

“Gyah!” it shrieked.

Eek! Jeez, that thing scares the hell out of me. If I’m close, it’ll probably try to bite me.

“Well, humans originally worshipped me, and monsters see me the same way,” Vivi said.

I guess even goblins worship spirits.

“This little one’s been all alone for a while,” she continued. “I think it got separated from its pack. It loves the lake; it basically follows me around now. I told it to stay by the water, but…”

Vivi apparently hadn’t noticed the goblin’s presence as she arrived in Kalta. It probably got in through a hole in the town walls, like a dog or cat. It was still early morning, so not many folks were outside; that explained how it reached the drugstore without causing chaos.

“I know you say you’ll take it out of town, but if the gatekeepers catch you, it’ll be a pain,” I warned Vivi. “They’ll punish you too.”

I wonder what it’d take to turn around Vivi’s bad luck.

“Eek! What should I do?”

“Even if you take the goblin outside town, won’t it just try to get back in? It found its way here without using the gate,” I pointed out. “Look, you can go home for today. We won’t be busy, and we should get rid of that thing.”

What I’d said clearly upset Vivi. She teared up. “I-I get it. You’re firing me for good this time! Working here three days of week was something I looked forward to!”

She looks forward to working at the drugstore? That’s definitely the kind of line you’d want other introverts to overhear. I tilted my head. However you slice it, it’ll be a huge mess if townsfolk see Vivi with that goblin. What’s the plan?

A magic circle suddenly appeared in the air, and Ejil showed up, flowing cape and all. “Good morning, Doctor! Thank you for going out of your way to greet me at the door!” He lowered his head as if groveling.

“Morning, Ejil. Perfect timing. Can you do something about him?” I pointed.

“Him?” Ejil gazed at the goblin beside the lake spirit. “Good morning, Vivi. Is that your pet?”

“Hi. No, um, it followed me on its own.”

“Gyah gyah!” The goblin stared at Ejil. As I’d expected, it was terrified of the demon king.

“What’d it say, Ejil?”

“Beats me.”

“Uh…you mean, your powers don’t allow you to understand it?” If two demons spoke different languages, they could communicate using thought transference, as long as both were higher beings.

“Thought transference doesn’t work with a goblin—not even for a demon king—unless you’re also a goblin,” Ejil explained. “Goblins aren’t intelligent, so they don’t possess a language other races understand.” That was the reason humans couldn’t perform thought transference with dogs, he added.

“Hunh. Really?” If this goblin were a dog or cat, the drugstore could’ve kept it as a pet. Unfortunately, it was a monster, and Kirio Drugs was a business.

“I can turn this thing into dust instantaneously, Doctor. I am the demon king, after all,” Ejil declared, cackling like the edgelord he was. “This is the perfect chance to show off my power!”

“N-no, don’t!” Vivi shrieked. “That’d be too awful! The poor thing just got separated from its pack.”

“Gyah! Gyah gyah!”

I had no clue what the goblin was saying, but I agreed with Vivi. “Yeah, no. Not happening, Ejil. There’ll be no murders around the drugstore.”

“I could always use teleportation magic to take it to some mountain,” Ejil offered.

That might be the best option.

“Either way, Doctor, this goblin will stay alone if it can’t reunite with its pack,” the demon king added. “Believe it or not, goblins have strong communities. They always treat outsiders as outsiders.”

That’s terrible. It’s just like how transfer students are always considered transfer students, and can’t settle in with the rest of their class, I reflected. It might not be my problem, but…

Vivi waved. “Do you think this little one wants to search for its pack, Reiji? It refuses to leave my lake. I figured it’d go on its own if it wanted to.”

Makes sense.

Just then, my medicine-making skill activated, informing me of necessary ingredients and steps. “Ah,” I whispered. Ejil and Vivi looked at me. “Looks like I can whip something up. I’m gonna need your help, Ejil. Come with me.”

“Yes, sir!” replied the demon king enthusiastically, following me toward the lab.

“Um, what’s my job, Reiji?” Vivi asked.

“Make sure no one catches that little goblin while I concoct this new product.”

“O-okay! I’ll do my best.”

“Much obliged,” I yawned, entering the lab with Ejil.

Noticing us, Mina popped her head in. “Breakfast is ready, Mr. Reiji.”

“Save our meals for later, woman! The good doctor is making a brand-new product, and he specifically asked for my assistance!” The demon king grinned proudly right before I gave the crown of his head a fierce smack. “Owie!”

“Mina is not ‘woman.’ Why’re you always such a jerk to her?”

The “woman” in question simply giggled. “It’s fine, Mr. Reiji. I’m sure the demon king business has stressed Ejil out terribly,” she said, leaving the lab.

The demon king “business”? Since when is that a business?

“Hmph. As though that woman understands anything,” Ejil said pompously.

I smacked my helper’s head again. With his assistance, though, I made smooth progress on my new creation.

 

Translator DX (Lemon Flavor): Enables communication in other races’ languages. Easy-to-drink lemon flavor.

 

Ejil’s eyes sparkled as he looked at the glowing liquid. “You’re all finished, Doctor?”

“Yup. We’ll be able to understand that goblin now.”

I took a sip, discovering that the translator DX basically tasted like lemonade. It’s really good, actually. Hmm…no side effects, as far as I can tell.

Several customers had swung by; I asked Noela and Ejil to handle them while I looked for Vivi and the goblin. The pair were in the living room. “What’re you doing in here?”

“Ah, Reiji! Customers came in, so I thought we’d hide in the house,” Vivi explained. “What’d you end up making?”

I explained the new concoction and had her take a sip.

“Ooh!” she exclaimed. “This’s tasty.”

“I’m thrilled that you’re fond of it, Lady Vivi.”

“Huh? What’d you say, Reiji?”

“That wasn’t me. I’d never call you ‘Lady Vivi.’”

“Right…”

It couldn’t be…

The lake spirit and I slowly looked at the goblin.

“It would seem you finally understand me,” it stated.

“We understand the goblin?!” we shrieked. As we heard its grunts, we simultaneously heard a coherent “voice-over.” The goblin’s voice was astoundingly gruff, like some veteran warrior’s.

“L-let’s calm down, Vivi,” I stammered. “Remember, we drank a potion that enabled thought transference.”

“O-oh, yeah.”

Trying to collect myself, I cleared my throat, then simply told the goblin my name.

“Sir Reiji, correct?” it repeated. “I have no name. Call me whatever you wish.”

Since the goblin made “gyah” sounds, and struck me as male, I went with “Gyao.”

“What happened to your pack?” I asked Gyao. “Were you separated from them?”

Gyao sat cross-legged. “I wasn’t separated from my pack. I left them.”

“But why would you do that? Aren’t you lonely?” Vivi asked, concerned.

Gyao laughed in a deep, low voice, shaking his head. “I found a master I wished to devote my life to. Thus, I am not remotely lonely.”

His voice almost makes him sound valiant, I thought.

“Ah, that’s cool,” replied Vivi. “I…I totally get how you feel. I serve Reiji as my master. Three times a week, anyway.”

She realizes he’s talking about her, right? Ignoring Vivi’s completely off-base comparison, I explained the situation to Gyao. “Look, according to human rules, monsters that enter town are executed immediately.”

“I fully understand that. However, since my master made her way here, she needed protection.”

“In short, you’re here as Vivi’s bodyguard?”

“Precisely.” Gyao nodded deeply.

“There you have it, Vivi.”

“But, um…that might be a problem,” Vivi objected. “First of all, I don’t need a bodyguard or underling.”

“My word!” Gyao yelped.

I thought maybe she’d beat around the bush, but no, she went straight for the jugular.

“As a spirit, Lady Vivi, you naturally spend most of your time at your shrine,” Gyao argued. “Upon seeing you, I felt it was my mission in life to protect such a fragile being!”

“This is getting too depressing for me, Reiji.” Vivi sighed.

“C’mon, don’t say that in front of him,” I whispered, glancing at Gyao. His eyes were now devoid of their earlier luster.

I get that it’s a pain that he randomly appointed Vivi his master, then made himself her bodyguard. Still, she could’ve been gentler.

Since Gyao had already abandoned his pack, there was no turning back for him. If he’d been here to cause trouble, chasing him off would’ve been easy. However, he was acting out of loyalty to Vivi, which made him extra difficult to deal with.

“Uh—I have an idea!” I cried, turning to Gyao. “When Vivi’s in town, I’ll take responsibility for protecting her. It’s my job as her master to watch over her anyhow. When she’s at the lake, though, you handle it. How’s that sound?”

That was no sweat, since Vivi wasn’t in danger at the drugstore. As long as Gyao didn’t come into Kalta, there’d be no issues.

“Hmm.” Gyao bowed his head once more, satisfied. “I leave my master in your capable hands, Sir Reiji.”

“No problem.” I turned to Vivi. “Got it? When you’re not in town, Gyao here will accompany you. Wicked, huh? No more feeling lonely!”

“Y-yeah…” Vivi’s expression was, well, something. She definitely didn’t seem thrilled.

“I shall excuse myself, Master, and await you at home.” Gyao bowed to Vivi.

I showed him to the back exit, saw him off, and rejoined Vivi in the drugstore.

“I don’t want to go back to the lake today, Reiji!” She was on the verge of tears.

I patted her back, flashing the biggest smile I could muster. “No big deal!”

“Augh! You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?! I can tell by that expression! You’re hoping something funny happens!” Vivi snapped. “Urgh. That goblin’s too melodramatic for me.”

“Just look at this as having a new friend.”

“I’ll try my best.”

That was how Vivi acquired a goblin companion.

Although it didn’t always work, the new translator DX seemed to allow all kinds of species to understand us. I couldn’t wait to try talking to another monster—or even a dog or cat. Just like that, I gained something else to look forward to every day.