Chapter 8: Colds Aren't Caught Out of Nowhere

Chapter 8:
Colds Aren't Caught Out of Nowhere

 

EJIL WAS COUGHING up a storm.

Did he catch a cold or something?

Resting my chin in my hands on the store counter, I shot that question at Ejil, who was dusting the shelves. “You’re the demon king, and you catch colds?”

“What are ‘colds,’ Doctor?”

“A type of illness.”

“I see.” Ejil’s expression turned serious. “Every year, when the weather gets chilly, I cough like this. My body gets heavy, and I’m sometimes feverish. The humans must’ve developed some awful, dirty biological weapon to use against me.”

“Nah. You just have a cold.”

“But worry not, Doctor!” Ejil continued. “If I rest for a few days, I’ll recover fully.”

He sneezed. His gaze was unfocused, and his face was ruddy. There were no thermometers in this world, though. Besides, would a demon king run a fever like a human?

He should just have rested at his castle. “You can go home for today if you don’t feel great, Ejil.”

“N-no way! I’m eager for my encounter with Noela.”

“When has that ever actually worked out for you?”

“Don’t you understand just how much I look forward to my shifts every week, Doctor?!”

Nevertheless, Ejil coughed and coughed. I was pretty sure even I could’ve defeated him in his current state. His red face turned pale, and his teeth chattered.

“D-Doctor, aren’t you cold?” he mumbled.

“You’re getting chills because you’re sick. Like I said, you can go home early.”

“L-let me at least tell Noela I’m leaving.” Ejil wobbled away.

I grabbed his shoulder. “No need. I’ll let her know. It’d suck if Noela or Mina caught your cold.”

“Ugh! I feel like a fool, caving to a bioweapon concocted by mere humans!” Ejil began to cry.

I guess being sick makes him especially tenderhearted.

“Why’re you crying?” I forced a laugh, then handed him some cold meds and an energy potion from the shelf. “Go home and take care of yourself, got it?”

“Your prescriptions are as powerful as a million soldiers!” Ejil declared. “I’ll recover soon. It’d affect my army’s morale if their king succumbed to an illness!”

Ejil bowed his head, then headed home. I watched him leave, exasperated. His cape usually billowed proudly, but today, it was just kind of…blowing.

The drugstore carries cold medicine, but not anything for cold prevention, I realized. “I should make something. It’d be bad if everybody caught a bug.”

Wait a sec. Out of everyone who works here, I’m the only human. A werewolf, a ghost, the demon king, a spirit… Variety is the spice of life.

Still, even non-humans got sick in this world. Mina had been bedridden for a while, and Ejil was clearly ill. Leaving the store to Noela, I got to work in the lab.

 

Garappe: Mouthwash and disinfectant. Prevents bad breath.

 

“Gargling with this should more than prevent colds.”

Satisfied, I carried the mouthwash to the bathroom and called in Noela and Mina.

“What up, Master?”

“What’re you doing, Mr. Reiji?”

“I made some mouthwash!” I presented the bottle theatrically. The girls gave me no reaction whatsoever. “Mouthwash, ladies. Understand?”

“Mouthwash?” they repeated, tilting their heads.

“Noela no know ‘mouthwash,’ Master.”

Mina nodded. “If you say it’s some sort of medicine, Mr. Reiji, I believe you. But…”

“Wait, for real? It’s just mouthwash! The kind you gargle with!”

The pair blinked at me, looked at each other, then shook their heads. They really don’t get it.

“Well, anyway, using this stuff keeps you from getting sick.”

It’d be fastest to show them. I poured a trickle of mouthwash into a cup, diluting it with some water. Then I dumped the liquid into my mouth, gargled, and spat it out.

“Um, Mr. Reiji, it’s rude to spit out your drink.”

“Nah. You’re supposed to use mouthwash like that.”

“Noela! Noela!” The werewolf girl hopped up and down, her hand raised. “Noela no get colds!”

“That’s held true so far, but who knows about the future? Colds suck, Noela,” I warned her.

“Garoo! They do?!”

“So, this ‘mouthwash’ deters colds?”

The girls seemed to catch on at last.

Next up was a quick lesson on how to gargle. The three of us harmonized. Mina and I spat the mouthwash out, but Noela’s mouth was entirely empty.

“Er, Noela, did you spit out that mouthwash?”

“Gulped.”

“You’re not supposed to swallow it!”

Having explained mouthwash’s importance, I told the girls to ensure they always used it when they got home.

When the drugstore starts selling this, I should probably attach instructions, since people in Kalta are unfamiliar with it. With that thought, I abruptly coughed. In retrospect, I felt kind of sluggish the whole time I was in the lab.

I coughed again. Wait…I’m a little dizzy. Could I have caught a cold? Mouthwash deterred viruses, so I must’ve gotten it in the drugstore. That damn demon king passed it on to me!

“You’re rather flushed, Mr. Reiji. Are you all right?” Mina was right in front of me, yet her voice sounded far away. She put her chilly hand on my forehead.

I only remembered what happened after that in bits and pieces. I was pretty sure Mina put me to bed; when I woke up, it was nighttime.

Ugh…my body’s so heavy. My head hurts. My throat hurts. This isn’t just a little bug—it’s the real deal. Damn you, Ejil! Even your colds are demonic and over the top.

“Master awake!” Noela was in bed with me. I’d thought it was oddly warm in here.

“Go sleep in another room, Noela. You’ll catch my cold.”

“Master look cold! Noela warm up.”

Talking was too much struggle; I simply stroked Noela’s head. Eventually, she crawled out of bed and left me in peace. To be honest, I’m kinda lonely now. A minute later, I heard the girls talking outside.

“Noela give to Master!”

“No! Your job is keeping him warm, isn’t it? My job is making him food and feeding him.”

Mina carried in a tray. “How’re you feeling?”

“Awful.”

“Think you’re up for some dinner?”

Catching a whiff of her cooking made me painfully aware of my empty stomach. With her help, I sat up and opened my mouth. I let her feed me, as she asked; I didn’t have the energy to say no.

“Do you remember collapsing out of nowhere?” Mina inquired. “You really gave me a scare.”

“My bad.”

“It’s fine. You always do so much for me, Mr. Reiji. Now, it’s my turn to care for you. Frankly, I’m glad to do it.” Mina seemed genuinely happy.

After I ate, she exclaimed, “Time for your medicine!” as if looking after a child. She handed me the same drugstore medication I’d given Ejil; I downed it in one gulp. The formula didn’t actually have any effect on colds specifically. It enhanced your natural healing abilities, rather than striking the virus directly.

“Oh! Isn’t this the first time you’ve treated yourself with your own medication?” Mina pointed out. “Those remedies are amazing, you know. Your cold will be gone in no time.”

After bedtime, I slept like a rock. I woke up to yelling.

“Master no die!”

“No dying, Reiji!”

“Sir Reiji! Please awaken!”

Urgh…they’re so loud.

It was apparently morning. Noela, Vivi, and Elaine—basically, all three of the young women I’d befriended—sat beside my bed. Vivi had a shift today; Elaine must’ve come by to hang out.

“Gosh, Noela!” Vivi gasped. “You scared me to death when you said Reiji wasn’t waking up.”

“Precisely!” Elaine exclaimed. She turned to me. “Thank goodness you’re all right.”

“Noela worried Master dead,” the werewolf girl told me.

Elaine began feeding me what I assumed was Mina’s cooking. “You don’t want to catch my cold,” I warned her.

Elaine smiled girlishly. “I’m not concerned, Sir Reiji! I’d like to look after you every now and then.”

“Reiji! Reiji!” Vivi interjected. “Aren’t you worried about me? I might catch a cold too, you know!”

“You get back to work.” I knew I sounded like a jerk. Deep down, I was grateful to Vivi.

“Boo! You’re playing favorites!” She touched my forehead to check my temperature; her hand was nice and cold. “I’m always chilly, so if you want me to cool you off, just let me know!”

“No good, Vivi,” Noela objected. “Master cold. Bad! Mina say make warm.”

“No, no. He’s got a fever. He needs to cool down!”

“Vivi wrong!”

“I am not!”

“No yelling next to Sir Reiji!”

Before I could even appreciate having the girls around, I fell fast asleep. I woke up to more strange sounds, and my eyes spotted a bespectacled someone. The three young ladies were gone, replaced by Paula.

“Yo, Rei Rei. How you feeling?”

“Not great.”

“I’m shocked. Guess even you can get sick, huh?” Paula laughed. “Mina’s something else. Even her recovery food’s stunningly tasty.”

“Yeah…it is.”

“C’mon, make your ‘straight man’ comeback! Where’s the ‘Don’t eat my food, four-eyes’?!” Paula frowned, upset by the lack of repartee.

My bad. I don’t recall ever calling you four-eyes, though.

“You better hurry up and get well,” Paula continued. “You’re the only one who plays along with me. I confuse Noela, and Mina just giggles. Oh!” She pulled out some cold medicine. “If you hit the sack, drink this. You didn’t have the chance this morning, right? If it’s too much for you to manage, I don’t mind feeding it to you…mouth to mouth.”

“I can handle it.”

“Gosh, where’d your edge go? You really must be sick.”

Paula watched, looking antsy, as I downed the medicine.

“Anna walked me to the drugstore,” she added, handing me a fruit basket she’d placed at the foot of the bed. “She told me to give you this—the usual present for sick people! She should just have come by instead of being sheepish.”

Anna…? She must mean Annabelle.

“Get better soon!” Paula stroked my head gently before leaving.

The medicine kicked in, and I crashed again. I woke back up at night; my body was getting stiff from all this sleep. However, my head felt clear, and my fever had broken. My sluggishness was gone too. I’m sure that’s partly thanks to the meds, but it’s also because everyone looked after me.

Beside my bed, Mina and Noela were fast asleep. Either they were exhausted, or they’d gotten tired of monitoring me. I smiled and draped a nearby blanket over them.

Being sick really sucked, but sometimes, it was nice having others worry about you.