Chapter 9: Bathtime Panic

Chapter 9:
Bathtime Panic

 

ELAINE HAD STOPPED BY. As usual, after greeting us formally, she loitered at the counter.

“I’m having rather frightening nightmares lately,” she noted with a serious expression. Her fingers twirled her drill-like curls.

“Hunh. Wow.” That was the best response I could muster up. How does she get ringlets like that? It’s not like curlers exist in this world.

As my mind drifted, Elaine glared. “Haven’t you noticed how concerned I am, Sir Reiji? You’ve been acting quite cold toward me lately.”

I sighed, exasperated. “Can you really blame me?” This was the fourth day in a row that Elaine had gone on about nightmares and insomnia. “So, in this recurring dream of yours, a giant Noela crushes you?”

“Mm-hmm. I had that same nightmare last night.”

“You do realize the drugstore sells medicine and stuff, right?”

“I’m well aware, Sir Reiji. You tell me that every day.”

“That’s because you come here with the same issue every day.” Why’s she treating me like I’m repetitive?

“I’d like to spend the night,” Elaine announced.

“Excuse me? No way. I’m guessing you didn’t get your parents’ permission. Since when are you such a delinquent?”

“I do have permission!” Elaine retorted, lifting her chin proudly. I could almost hear her victory cry. “Mother and Father even said I could stay as many nights as I wished. They trust you with me!”

Jeez. That’s way too much trust! “Unfortunately for you, the head of this household—me—says no. Be good and go home, Drills.”

“My father is lord of this region! In this town, what he says goes!”

“But this is my drugstore. I set the rules.”

“Why must you be so stubborn?!” Elaine pouted.

“I don’t see a problem with her staying a few days, Mr. Reiji.” Mina poked her head into the store; she’d apparently been listening. “I’d enjoy the lively atmosphere.”

Noela, of course, would also welcome Elaine. I guess it’s two to one.

I sighed loudly. “Fine. Just for one night, though. Even if you don’t have a nightmare, you go home tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much, Sir Reiji!” Elaine bounced like a rabbit. “Where’s your room?”

“Over there. Er…why?”

“I decided to sleep in your bed!”

“Yeah, fat chance. You’ll sleep with Mina and Noela,” I declared, and Mina immediately backed me up.

“Sleeping with them definitely won’t help me get past my nightmares,” Elaine insisted.

“How would you know?”

“Well, sleeping in my parents’ bed didn’t help. But I’m sure your bed will work, since—um—I adore you so much, Sir Reiji!”

Mina groaned, covering her face with her hands.

Why’s she getting flustered? “You’re set on that?” I asked Elaine skeptically.

A person’s mental state affected their dreams, so Elaine’s nightmares might’ve been self-fulfilling prophecies. She thinks she’ll have nightmares, so when she sleeps, she actually does. On the other hand, if she believes her dreams will be fine, they’ll be fine.

Sleeping in the same bed as Mina or Ririka the elf might’ve flustered me. But Elaine was more or less Noela’s age. No biggie. “One night only,” I said with a sigh.

Elaine carried her suitcase to my room. What is she, a traveling salesgirl? Afterward, I got her to watch the drugstore with Noela.

People dreamed when they were just barely asleep, so I figured Elaine wouldn’t have nightmares if she slept deeply and restfully. The fact that she said she’d feel comfortable in my bed was a safety net. Let’s see… Mina can brew her a relaxing herbal tea, and…

It was time to whip up a new product. If I told Elaine it would help her sleep, I figured that would give her extra peace of mind. I closed myself up in the lab and followed my medicine-making skill’s instructions, finishing just in time for dinner.

Mina popped in. “What’s up?” I asked.

“Don’t do anything weird with Elaine, Mr. Reiji.”

“Who do you think I am?!” I’d planned to sleep on the sofa once Elaine nodded off. My shoulders slumped as I shook the bottle. “And…done.”

 

Tangerine Bubble Bath: Dissolves in hot water, producing suds that warm the body completely.

 

“What’ve you made, Mr. Reiji? It smells delightful.”

“Uh, this is for bath time. It pretty much just makes you cozier.” If Elaine goes to bed while she’s warm, she should sleep well enough not to have nightmares.

Once Elaine and Noela closed the drugstore, the four of us ate together. Since Elaine was a new addition to the dinner table, the meal was rowdy and fun. Afterward, I filled the bathtub and let the three girls go first; I’d already explained to Mina how to use the bubble bath. Hearing them chatter in the bathroom, I called from the changing room to ask how they were doing.

“Smell good! Smell good!” Noela’s voice called back.

“You’d better not drink the bubble bath, Noela!” I warned. “It only smells like oranges!”

“How you know?! Join, Master!”

“Nope.”

“I’m putting the new product in the bathwater, Mr. Reiji!” Mina called. I could barely hear her over the sound of bubbles popping.

“O-oh, my word!” Elaine exclaimed. “Look at all the bubbles!”

I would’ve loved to head into the bathroom to check out the new product’s results, but I was pretty sure the local mercs would get involved if I did. “Elaine, the bubble bath in the water prevents nightmares,” I called. “Take a nice long bath.”

“A-all right!”

“Smells good! Smells good!”

“No drinking the water!”

“How know? Master join!”

“I said that ain’t happening.”

I heard quiet splashes, and the voices of the three girls enjoying the bath. “Whew!”

“How is it, Mina?”

“Wonderful! The bubbles are so warm, and they’re sticking to me! I feel like I’m going to heaven.”

Since Mina was a ghost, that would’ve been bad. Imagine if the girls finished their bath and she was gone. Talk about terrifying! Sorry, Mina, but no heaven right now.

“It’s as if the bubbles are dissolving everything bad!” Elaine exclaimed.

“Master! Master!”

“Noela, don’t drink the water! There’s a fresh potion chilling for you!”

“Garoo?! Then no drink!”

Thank god I keep a potion refrigerated just in case. “Take your time, ladies!” I called, heading into the living room.

My original plan had been to wait for the girls to finish bathing. But, uh, they’re not getting out…even though Noela’s potion is nice and cold. And it’s already been a half-hour.

Mina and Noela weren’t the type to take long baths, which made me aware of a possibility. “Aw, crap. Don’t tell me…”

I’d messed up. I shouldn’t have let those three bathe together! If they all doze off, who the heck’s left to wake them?!

That was when Paula’s voice ran through my brain. “This is what’s called an accident! Falling asleep in the bathtub’s pretty dangerous. You should go save them! No one’s gonna blame you if you, uh, see something. Or touch something? It’s all good, bro!”

“All good, huh?” I muttered.

“What’s all good, Rei Rei?”

“Gah!” I jumped back, spinning toward the voice.

Standing there was the real Paula. When she dropped in after the drugstore closed, it was usually for Mina’s cooking. Did she come here to eat dinner?

Fortunately, that worked out for me. “Paula, I need to ask a tiny favor.” I pulled the confused tool shop owner toward the bathroom, asking her to wake the girls.

Paula stood up straight and patted my head. “You’re sure a gentleman, Rei Rei. I’m surprised!”

Whatever. Just get in there!

“If I were a dude,” she continued, “I’d already have a massive nosebleed from fondling them while I woke ’em up!”

“Then it’s a good thing you’re not a dude.” I opened the bathroom door and shoved Paula in, closing it quickly behind her.

“That wasn’t very gentlemanly, Rei Rei!”

“I don’t care. What’s up in there?”

“Ack! Should’ve come in earlier.”

“What do you mean?!”

“They’re all unconscious!”

“The heat must’ve gotten to them. Pull them out!”

“Are you crazy, Rei Rei? Do you really think wimpy me can lift them?”

Kirio Reiji, it’s time to man up.

Paula gave me directions as, eyes closed, I pulled all three women from the tub. “Why’re you panicking, Rei Rei? You got this!”

“Shut up! You’re just here for a free meal!”

Paula dressed the three, and I tucked them into their respective beds. I thought they’d wake up, but it never happened—not even for a second. After sleeping on the couch, I found the trio making breakfast.

“Ah! Good morning, Mr. Reiji,” Mina said, beaming.

“Morning. Do you ladies remember fainting in the bathtub?”

The girls looked baffled. That made sense, considering that they’d been out cold.

“I remember everything up to getting into the tub,” Elaine replied. “After that, my memory’s a blur till this morning.”

Mina and Noela nodded.

“I bet. You three were dead to the world. Any nightmares, Elaine?”

Elaine’s eyes widened in shock, and she gasped. “N-no! It’s because I slept in your bed! I was much more comfortable there!”

“Nah. I think the bubble bath helped.”

“I’ll sleep over again to—”

“No need. I’ll give you a bottle of bubble bath. Go home.”

“See? You are cold toward me!”

“But a bubble bath’s warm. Problem solved.”

Elaine pouted again.

Afterward, I saw that the bubble bath bottle in the bathroom was empty; the girls had passed out in the tub because they used it all at once.

I wound up selling minuscule vials of bubble bath as a formula to help customers de-stress and get a good night’s sleep. Locals were enthusiastic about the product, and it became popular as a treatment for a rough day.