Chapter 10: Toughening Up

Chapter 10:
Toughening Up

 

“LISTEN UP! You’re all shit! Less than trash! Got it?!” Annabelle screeched.

Kirio Drugs’ three female staff members sat in front of her like students in gym class. We were in a field just outside Kalta; I was watching nearby.

“Yes, Miss Annabelle!” my employees cried.

“What the hell do you mean, ‘Miss Annabelle’?! I ain’t a teacher on a field trip! You’ve got two responses: ‘Yes, ma’am!’ and ‘No, ma’am!’ Got it?!”

Mina raised her hand. “Excuse me! Um, Annabelle, I don’t think ladies should use words like ‘shit.’”

I was pretty sure a vein popped in Annabelle’s face. Even from a distance, I could tell she’d been irritated for a while.

“Don’t talk back to your commanding officer!” She slapped the ground with the stick she carried. “Give me ten laps around the town walls! I’m gonna follow you losers, and if I catch up, I’m gonna kick your asses! Understand?!”

“Urgh! That’ll hurt.” Vivi slumped. “Why do you have to do that?”

Annabelle’s stick smacked the ground again. “To make sure you maggots run properly!”

“Eek!”

Noela was unbothered by all this; she hadn’t complained once. I guessed that this “training” seemed like nothing to her. She abruptly stood up and sprinted off.

“You!” Annabelle screamed. “Who told you to start running?!”

“Garroo?! You say run around town!” Noela yelled back.

“When I give the order, you run! Don’t confuse things! Make sure you three run together!”

I’m not sure Noela’s free spirit can stick to organized group tasks, I mused.

As for why Annabelle was drilling the ladies—Vivi had said yesterday that she wanted to get tougher. “Reiji, can you formulate a strengthening treatment for me?”

“You shouldn’t ask for drugstore perks all the time,” I’d replied. She’d requested the same thing a while back. “Annabelle’s tough—why not get her to train you? She’s a professional mercenary. I bet she has awesome strategies.”

Mina, who’d been listening, jumped in. “That sounds like a wonderful idea! I’ve been, um, concerned about a similar personal issue, so I’d like to participate as well. You know, just to tone up.”

“Mina’s in too?” I turned. “Hey, Noela, what about you?”

“Noela go! Noela protect Master! Wanna get stronger!”

They’d requested that Annabelle train them on our day off. Now my employees were running around Kalta’s outskirts. Their terrifying, somewhat-demonic trainer chased after them, holding a stick.

“Good luck, ladies!” I cheered halfheartedly.

Mina waved with a big smile.

Vivi looked over; she seemed totally exhausted. “I’m doing my best, Reiji!”

Noela noticed me and dashed toward me.

“Hey! Don’t disrupt things! Get back here!” Annabelle was screaming bloody murder.

Noela ignored her. She grabbed my arm, forcing me to jog. “Watching boring, Master! Run together!”

“Nah. I’m not interested in getting tougher! I just wanna chill and take a na—”

Noela dragged me up to Mina and Vivi.

“Yay! You’re running with us?”

“Let’s give it our all, Reiji!”

Their warm welcomes made it harder to stop jogging.

“You’re slowing us down!” Annabelle roared at me.

“I-I’m sorry!” I panted.

And so, I wound up running too. To make matters worse, we were going pretty fast. My stamina soon hit rock bottom, but anytime I slowed down, Annabelle whacked my butt. Smack!

“Ow!”

“Huh? My men love it when I do that!”

Don’t lump me in with those perverts! I thought indignantly. I just want to go home. I should’ve hung out with Zeral, not come to watch! Remind me who recommended Annabelle coach the girls? Breathless, I completed ten laps around Kalta. I feel like my HP hit zero ages ago!

“Stand up!” Annabelle barked. “Give me a thousand push-ups, sit-ups, and back extensions!”

Impossible! I tried to leave, crawling on the ground like a bug.

Someone grabbed my ankles. “Where’re you going, Reiji? Didn’t you promise to get stronger with me?”

“When?! I’m not some Saiy*n stoically pursuing strength!”

Annabelle smacked the ground. “Hey, Maggot V! Stop slacking!”

I guess Maggot V is Vivi—so Mina is M, Noela is N, and I’m R.

“Eek! She’s so scary,” Vivi wailed. “I stopped because Reiji tried to desert, Captain!”

She snitched on me!

Annabelle came over, glaring daggers. “Maggot R, who gave you permission to run from the battlefield?!”

“It was a tactical retreat, ma’am!”

“You don’t make that call!”

My shoulders scrunched in fear as Annabelle’s stick swung down, striking my thighs. Thunk!

Huh? It didn’t hurt. She must’ve gone super easy on me. What a good woman!

“I was leaving to develop a treatment to maximize muscle gain, ma’am!” I declared.

“Hunh! You can do that?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Fine! Maggot R, head to your lab and get to work!”

Thank goodness. I found an escape!

“Is it just me,” Mina interjected, “or is Annabelle extra soft on Mr. Reiji?”

“Noela think so.”

“I don’t think commanding officers should play favorites like that,” Mina continued. “Bringing personal feelings into the mix disrupts squad discipline and leads to infighting. What do you think, ma’am?”

“Shut up! No one gave you permission to weigh in!”

“Don’t think you can control everything by pulling rank!” Mina snapped. “If you’re giving orders based on your feelings for Reiji, I can’t help wondering whether you’re qualified to lead the Red Cat Brigade!”

Annabelle fell silent, unable to respond.

“Hey, Mina,” I intervened. “Annabelle took time out of her day to coach you guys. Stop messing with her.”

“All right!” Mina replied cheerfully.

“Maggot M! Five hundred extra push-ups, sit-ups, and extensions for you!”

“Aw,” Mina muttered, but started the exercises nevertheless.

“I’m gonna go whip up a treatment. Hang in there!” I told her.

I guess that’s the regime Annabelle puts the Red Cat Brigade through, I mused as I headed back to town. The brigade’s job was to protect Kalta and fight off invaders, so it made sense that the mercenaries had to train hard. Still, I couldn’t help admiring them for doing that kind of workout day after day. If I developed a way to build strength easily and effectively, though, the brigade wouldn’t need a super-long daily training regime.

Back at the drugstore’s lab, I mixed together a ton of ingredients and—using my energy potion as the base—successfully developed a new potion formula.

 

Power Potion: Improves muscle recovery. Enhances muscle gain. Drink after exercise.

 

“Now it should be easier to build muscle without working out for hours,” I murmured, sipping the vanilla-flavored potion. It went down quite nicely.

After making several power potions, I headed back to the field. Vivi lay on the ground like a corpse. Mina panted, her hair tousled. I could tell just by looking at them how tough Annabelle’s boot camp had been. Thank goodness I left when I did. Noela was the only one who seemed unaffected. I suppose that’s to be expected of a werewolf.

“Master back!” she cried.

“Finished training, Noela?”

She wagged her tail. “Easy-peasy!”

“Hey, Maggot N,” Annabelle broke in. “What do you say to joining the brigade?”

Annabelle, I understand attempting to recruit Noela, but she’s a free spirit. I doubt she could handle merc life.

“Nope. Noela like time with Master.”

I stroked Noela’s head thankfully. What can I say? I adore her too.

“Oh—before I forget, I made these.” I handed power potions to Noela and Annabelle, explaining their effects.

Annabelle scrutinized the bottle. “Hrm. You’re saying this’ll make building muscle easier?”

“Someone who’s already ripped won’t see super-obvious results,” I replied. “But strength-training newbies will spot changes easily. With this stuff, your usual regime will give them way more results.”

Noela uncapped the bottle, taking a sniff and a sip. “Sweet! Get buff!” She clenched her fists tightly.

I couldn’t help laughing. “You won’t build muscle that easily.”

“Hrm.” Noela focused. Suddenly, her arms bulked up before my very eyes. I did a double take; the werewolf girl now had massive tan biceps.

“Wha—?! It works that quickly?!” Annabelle and I shrieked, stunned. We watched Noela’s tan, muscular arms rub her cheeks lovingly.

“Wh-what’s wrong, Noela?”

“Noela hear biceps talk, Master.” Even her voice was deeper now.

“No freaking way!” I gasped. “World-class bodybuilders say stuff like that!”

“Hear them! ‘Exercise me more! Make stronger!’”

Who is this strange girl? Where’s her usual cuteness? I prefer the sweet, fluffy Noela to this bulked-up beast! She’s even kissing her biceps! “Come back to us, Noela!” I wailed. “Come back to me!”

“What happened to Noela?” Mina asked in a deep voice.

I turned. “Uh, my new potion worked a little too well. Noela apparently hears her biceps talking.”

Wait. Is it just me, or is Mina’s voice kind of husky?

Before I had time to consider that, I saw that Mina—who once looked gentle—now had a tan six-pack, a tank top, and shorts. She flexed her core with a macho grunt; at her feet was an empty potion bottle.

“You drank it too?!”

“Why, yes! I was parched, so I enjoyed your refreshments.”

The potion had had almost no effect on me—but I’d only taken a sip, and I’d barely done any strength training.

“Tee hee! How silly of Noela, saying she hears her biceps. What’s gotten into her?” Mina caressed her abdomen lovingly, like an expectant mother. However, she had the opposite of a rounded navel; her fingers rubbed her sculpted muscles. “That said, I can hear my abs talking to me.”

“‘What’s gotten into her?!’ What’s gotten into you?! You’re imagining you can hear your muscles talking? Have you flipped?!”

“I’m entranced by these perfectly toned abs,” Mina continued. “Lord Six-Pack is saying, ‘You’ve worked hard for that beautiful body, and those abs are proof! Show them off to the world! Gah ha ha ha!’”

“Who the hell is Lord Six-Pack?!”

“Wonderful,” Mina sighed, continuing to whisper to herself.

Who is this woman?! Where’s my adorable Mina? I loved her kind smile! “Come back to us, Mina!” I wailed. “Come back to me!”

Mina’s eyes met Noela’s, and the girls exchanged a powerful handshake. They began praising each other’s defined muscles, then discussed their workout routines passionately.

There’s no room for me here. I don’t belong. As for Vivi, she was still dead to the world. I should leave her alone too.

I headed back to the dazed Annabelle and handed her several power potions, cautiously suggesting that she dilute them to weaken their effects.

Mina and Noela’s muscle high lasted about an hour. After they returned to normal, we headed back to town; I carried Vivi piggyback.

“Reiji, I bet the voices they heard were muscle spirits!” Vivi told me.

“Think so?” I asked. I honestly didn’t care anymore.

Mina and Noela held my arms. “You don’t need to get ripped,” I assured them. “After all, we run a pharmacy.”

“If you say so, Mr. Reiji.”

“Noela agree!”

The four of us exchanged smiles. Today, my life in a world without bloodshed, battle, or permanently ginormous muscles had been as fun as ever.