Chapter 18: A Real Ladies' Man

Chapter 18:
A Real Ladies' Man

 

“HUH? ME? But why?” I couldn’t help whining.

Elaine sat across from me. She puffed out her flat chest. “Mother and Father said you’d be great!”

“I don’t even know how to act at an aristocrats’ party. Can’t you pick someone else?”

“Absolutely not.”

I didn’t do well at big parties. It wasn’t that I disliked talking to strangers, but it was draining. Plus, we’re talking nobility. If I said or did something rude, it’d be bad.

“You’re famous in all the towns Father rules,” Elaine added.

“In all of Lord Valgas’s towns?” Elaine’s dad was Lord Casti something-or-other Valgas. His full name was so long, I frequently forgot it.

Elaine’s declaration at least gave me a clearer picture

of things. Lord Valgas wanted to invite Kirio Drugs’ owner to the party to brag about my accomplishments. Can’t say I’m a fan of being a tool for his little plot.

“If you attend, it’ll be good publicity for the drugstore,” Elaine told me as I hesitated.

“I’m not exactly looking to do more business.”

“There’ll be lots of delicious food.”

“I eat plenty of good food these days.”

“Gosh, why’re you being so stubborn?!” She’d finally snapped at me, provoked by my clear indifference to her invitation.

“Stubborn? You’re the one trying to make me go to this party.”

“All the attendees use the drugstore’s products. They want to express their gratitude!”

Hmm. Frankly, no one hates praise. I was weak to that kind of thing. Plus, I was eager to learn which treatments the nobles bought. “Fine, I’ll go. Happy?”

Elaine lit up. “Fear not, Sir Reiji! I’ll stay by your side all night, ensuring that you don’t make a gaffe.”

“Right. I’ll be counting on you.”

Elaine clapped, and an older gentleman entered the drugstore. “I’ve brought your attire, Sir Kirio.” He carried a button-down shirt, necktie, and suit—the right outfit for blending in at the aristocrats’ gathering.

Wow, talk about prepared.

“I shall call for you in three days,” Elaine told me. “When the time comes, please wear those.”

“Got it.”

Having accomplished her objective, Elaine headed back to the carriage in high spirits, and she and the old servant returned home.

“If Elaine sticks around and gives me instructions, I should make it through this get-together in one piece,” I mused.

Still, I’d have been lying if I’d said I was no longer concerned. Plus, the suit I’d received filled me with the same sense of foreboding I’d had when I got my first job.

Vivi entered the drugstore, having finished her break. “What’s wrong, Reiji? If you’re in trouble, you know you can talk to me, right? I’m a lake spirit, after all!”

“I appreciate you worrying about me, but I’m fine.”

“Really?”

Patting Vivi gently on the head, I asked her to watch the drugstore so I could try on the suit. Hunh. It fits perfectly. It’s definitely not a hand-me-down either—it’s got to be brand-new. The Valgas family must’ve had it tailored for me. They really were planning to bring me to this party come hell or high water. I looked at myself in the mirror. Seems okay.

“Eek!” Mina’s brief scream made me stare at her. She covered her face with her hands. “I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize you were changing. My peeping was a happy coincidence!”

“Happy, huh?”

“Forget I said anything!” Blushing, Mina carefully inspected my new outfit. “Why’re you dressed up, Mr. Reiji? Not that you don’t look great in a suit!”

“Thanks.” I then explained the situation.

“I see,” Mina replied. “I suppose it’s not a stretch to say you’re a household name. I’m sure Lord Valgas will love bragging about you. Have fun!” She hurried out.

I glanced in the mirror again. The suit was fine, but something felt off—maybe because it’d been a while since I last dressed formally. I thought back to weekday mornings on Earth.

“Oh, right!” Just like that, I solved the riddle. I didn’t have any of that stuff here in Kalta. “Might as well whip some up now. I don’t need any special ingredients.”

I left Vivi to watch the store while I worked in the lab. When it comes to dressing up, you can’t complete your look without this stuff!

 

***

 

Three days later, Elaine glanced at me in the rocking carriage. “M-my heart’s racing!”

Pop! She blushed.

Why “pop”? I wondered.

“You look rather dashing,” the girl continued. “Your face looks manlier than usual!”

“My face definitely hasn’t changed,” I replied. My hairstyle, on the other hand…

Three days back, I’d concocted some strong-hold wax to fix my hair up. Judging by Elaine’s reaction, I must’ve been rocking the look. I figured she was especially surprised because I usually had bedhead at the drugstore. This was the first time I’d tidied my hair in this world, let alone used actual hair wax. The me from my businessman days is back in action!

“This is bad,” Elaine muttered.

“What is?”

“Well, quite a few young women like myself will attend the party.”

“Is that so?”

“It is so! Don’t you understand what I mean?!”

Why is Drills getting so loud? I couldn’t make heads or tails of her words until we arrived at the venue.

 

***

 

“Greetings, Sir Reiji! It’s been quite some time.” Lord Valgas and I shook hands.

I greeted Lady Flam as well. “Good evening. Thank you for having me.”

She laughed as you’d imagine a noblewoman laughing. “You clean up well, Sir Alchemist!”

Could you please stop calling me that?

I could tell the atmosphere at the soiree had changed; I was turning heads all over the chamber.

A young woman in a pretty gown spoke to me despite her nervousness. “Um…are you Sir Kirio of Kirio Drugs?”

“Uh, yeah, that’s correct.”

She told me she used the drugstore’s hair products regularly. “Ever since I started, my hair’s been wonderfully silky!”

“Really? Glad to hear it.”

I could feel the girls at the party gazing passionately at me. They all had drill-like ringlets like Elaine’s.

“So, that youth is Sir Kirio?”

“The genius alchemist who developed the beauty gel?”

“What a dashing young man! I must say hello!”

“I’m wearing charm fragrance tonight—I wonder whether I could get a word with him.”

Come to think of it, I’ve formulated a bunch of stuff that’s popular with young women—shampoo, a hair mask, conditioner, perfume, and beauty gel.

The shampoo girl didn’t seem to be going anywhere, so another young lady cut in. “Excuse me. I’d like a word with Sir Kirio. Sir Kirio, I’m the Nesta family’s second daughter, and—”

As she attempted to offer a curtsy, another young lady interrupted. “Might I introduce myself as well?”

“Hey, don’t cut in line!”

Another girl appeared. “Could I have a moment?”

“Me as well!”

“And me!”

“Whoa, hey, hold on!” The army of young women was crushing me. The quantity of drill curls in my vicinity was absurdly high.

“I knew this would happen!” Another set of drills got between me and the girls; this time, the curls belonged to the one and only Elaine. “Leave this to me, Sir Reiji!”

“You got it!” An eye for an eye, a drill for a drill…whatever that means.

“Excuse me! Who are you?”

“Could you step aside?”

“Enough!”

All the girls spoke the same way; I could only distinguish them by voice and appearance. At any rate, Elaine had somehow managed to deter the incoming young women.

“Gah ha ha ha!” laughed Lord Valgas. “With looks and pharmaceutical skills like yours, any young woman of any house would gladly wed you.”

Once I’d done the rounds of the party, my role was apparently finished. Lady Flam clapped, summoning a carriage for me. As I got in, I heard young women squealing my name. “Sir Kirio!”

Is this what it means to be a ladies’ man?

 

***

 

A few days later, several love letters addressed to me arrived at Kirio Drugs. As I wrote a response to each one, Noela and Mina entered the lab.

“No, Master!”

“Noela’s right, Mr. Reiji. Th-this is awful.”

Both women looked melancholy, but neither told me what I was doing wrong. It wasn’t like I wanted to court the young noblewomen; frankly, I couldn’t even tell them apart. I felt bad about it, but I’d been cranking out rejection letters using a template I’d made.

At any rate, my suit-and-waxed-hair look had scored big with Mina and Noela.