Chapter 10: The Water God’s Orb

Chapter 10:
The Water God’s Orb

 

WHILE STAYING OVERNIGHT not long ago, Vivi noticed the water crystal Stanley had given us.

“Hey, Reiji, what’s with that thing in the living room?”

“Oh, that? It’s from the deepest chamber in a dungeon. An adventurer we accompanied there gave it to us.” The Water God’s Orb now served as a decoration, although it was apparently incredibly rare.

“Hunh.”

“Might you have an idea as to that orb’s purpose, Miss Water Spirit?” I asked with a little dramatic flair.

“Hmm…no clue.” Vivi paused. “Actually…”

Huh? Seems like Vivi might know something.

I brought the crystal from the living room to the drugstore counter. “This is it.”

“Yeah. Um…” Vivi gently touched the orb. It glowed fiercely.

“Yikes! Now, that’s bright!” Closing my eyes didn’t stop the light from piercing my eyelids. “What’d you do, Vivi?”

“N-nothing!”

After a while, the gleaming orb finally settled down. All it did was shine; nothing around Vivi and I actually changed. Thank goodness. I was worried it might return me to Earth or something. Noela and Mina stopped in to ask about the light, but they left after I explained.

“Did the orb respond because you’re a water spirit?” I touched the crystal; nothing happened.

“Are you all right?” Vivi asked anxiously.

“I’m totally fine.” Vivi stared at her outstretched fingertips, and I tilted my head curiously. So, what the heck was that glow? “Have you figured out anything about the orb, Vivi?”

Just then, a single villager—an old man with a hoe slung over his shoulder—entered the drugstore. “Where’d that light come from?”

“This thing right here.” I pointed at the orb.

The old man’s eyes widened. “Th-th-this is the Water God’s Crystal!”

Well, my skill identified it as the Water God’s Orb, but…

“Wha…?!” Like the old man, Vivi seemed shocked. “Then it’s actually the real deal?!”

“‘The real deal’? What’s that mean?” I asked.

“Um…a really long time ago, people used this crystal in rain ceremonies. It was treated as a relic of the water god.”

The old man nodded. “You’re knowledgeable, young lady. A water priestess definitely caused that glow earlier!”

Vivi had a stiff smile on her face. “Um, Mister, I think you’re mistaken.”

“Who made this crystal shine?” The old man glanced at Vivi; she looked away quietly.

I pointed straight at the lake spirit. “Her, Mister.”

The old man gasped, looking Vivi up and down. “’Twas you, young lady…?”

“Reiji! Stop trying to send me packing!” Vivi punched me lightly. Thump! Thump!

“Don’t word it like that! You make me sound terrible,” I complained. “Exactly what is a water priestess?”

“Naturally, she relays humans’ hopes and dreams to the water god,” the old man replied. “The priestess must also relay the water god’s words back to our village. It’s a terribly important role.”

She’s basically a translator, so to speak? Wait…there’s a legit water god?

“We’ve got no time to waste!” The old man rushed out of the drugstore gleefully.

“Isn’t this great?” I asked Vivi. “If you’re a priestess, people might bring you offerings again.”

“It’s just…” Vivi’s expression was, well, complicated.

“What is the water god?” I asked. For someone lacking specific religious beliefs, like me, the concept was hard to wrap your head around.

“What the name implies. But unlike spirits and fairies—who have physical bodies—you can’t see the water god with the naked eye. When humans do bad things, the water god makes rain pour and rivers flood—or even does the opposite and causes drought. That’s how they punish humanity.”

“Hmm. Punish, huh?” Floods and rainstorms could cause frightening damage. It didn’t surprise me that stuff like that led people to believe in acts of god. “And if a priestess touches the Water God’s Orb, it shines?”

“Pretty much.” Vivi hesitated. “I guess it’s more accurate to say someone with the potential to become a priestess.”

For a moment, I wondered why Vivi seemed to know so much about the water god. Then I remembered that she was actually a lake spirit. She’d been in this world much longer than me, and she’d seen a heck of a lot more too.

“Back in the day, priestesses performed rituals for the water god. But priestesshood’s tough work,” Vivi continued. “Priestesses aren’t salaried, they deal with restrictions forever, they pay for transportation themselves—and even though they pray nonstop, there’s no such thing as overtime.”

“You make the job sound awfully exploitative.” I wonder if there’s a uniform.

“Let me go home early, Reiji,” Vivi pleaded. “That old guy’s going to drop by again.”

“You seriously don’t want to become a priestess, do you?”

“Of course not! It’d be a pain!”

Talk about a paper-thin excuse. We had a life stone at the drugstore, so we never struggled for water, but I had a hunch that local farmers ran low. Long stretches of harsh sunlight—or torrential downpours—could damage their crops.

“Still,” I mumbled, “I probably couldn’t make anything that’d affect the weath—”

My medicine-making skill ran a list of ingredients past me. I could?! But…if I actually created this product, I’d really be playing God. So I shouldn’t. The ingredients were all super rare anyhow.

Vivi got her stuff in order and left quickly. “See you!”

“What a little punk.” I shook my head. “I never told her she could leave early.”

Soon, I heard shouting outside.

“Eeeeek! I-I’m not a priestess! I’m a spirit!”

I’ve got a bad feeling about this. I glanced outside the drugstore, only to see a bunch of villagers carrying Vivi away against her will. “Uh-oh.”

I was starting to feel guilty for telling the old man that the orb had reacted to Vivi. Still, if I hadn’t said anything, he probably would’ve searched our whole house. Crap. What’s my plan here?

“What happen to Vivi, Master?” Noela inquired.

“She’s heading off to become the water god’s intern.” I imagined her fighting for her life at what we’d call a “black company,” an employee’s worst nightmare.

“Arroo?” With a tilt of her head, Noela showed that she had no idea what I meant.

Just then, the old man returned. “Mr. Pharmacist, I’d like you to let me hold on to the Water God’s Crystal.”

According to Vivi, the crystal was necessary for rain rituals or something, so it was better off with the old man. Here, it was only a decoration; besides, it’d be a shame if I unintentionally sold it to some evildoer. “Sure.”

“Ah, thank you so very much!” He grabbed my hand in both of his and shook it. “We must ensure the water god hears our requests.”

“Hope it rains,” I replied.

“Where living room crystal?” Noela asked, entering the drugstore. Seeing the orb, she touched it, and it began to shine. “Arroo?!”

“Seriously?” I sighed. Guess I have a request for the water god—I’d definitely rather these folks let Vivi handle priestesshood and leave my little fluffball alone.

Meanwhile, the old man stared at the crystal uncertainly. “Wh-why…?”

“What’s wrong?”

“Well, when a water priestess is chosen, no other priestess can be selected till the current one passes away.”

“But, uh, the orb just glowed,” I pointed out.

“Groo! Shiny shine!” Noela poked the crystal.

Flash!

“Shine again!”

“Stop playing around. That’s too bright.” I pulled her away and turned to the old man. “Are you sure you aren’t mistaken about the crystal? Its official name is the Water God’s Orb.” My identification skill had described it as a “sacred treasure” or something.

The old man fell to his knees. “This isn’t the Water God’s Crystal!”

“Garroo?!” Noela clearly had no idea what was going on. She stared at the old man and me.

“I-I already told the villagers that it is!” the old man cried. “I said it’d rain once we performed the ceremony!”

Oh. Does that mean Vivi’s off the hook?

“Wh-what’s done is done.” He looked away awkwardly. “All I can do is have the villagers pray till it rains.”

He’s going to try to fudge it?!

“Is there any way you could make something to get me out of this predicament, Mr. Pharmacist…?”

“Impossible.” I shut him down as quickly as I could.

Still, the villagers were going to hold my poor employee captive until it rained. It was as if Vivi joined some culty operation and was trapped in their live-in dorms.

“Looks like I’ve got no choice.” I scratched my head. “I guess I’ll figure something out.”

The old man gazed at me respectfully. “Mr. Pharmacist…”

“I’ll do my best to fix this mess, so I need you to keep an eye on my girl,” I warned him. “Make sure Vivi’s treated well. At least three meals a day and seven hours of sleep. Got it?”

“O-of course! I’ll do everything in my power.”

The old man left, and I give Noela her instructions. “I need you to check on Vivi.”

“Uh-huh!” Noela dashed away from the drugstore, rapidly transforming into a wolf.

“How am I going to get us out of this?” I muttered.

The villagers would free Vivi as soon as it rained, but when it stopped, they’d just kidnap her again. I had to prove that they didn’t need a water priestess to make it rain.

I wound up spending the rest of the day working on my new concoction—a product that caused rainfall. Based on the ingredients I needed, it wasn’t something I’d finish anytime soon.

 

***

 

There was something I could make more quickly that’d free Vivi. Still, it ended up taking three full days to finish. If Ejil hadn’t helped me gather ingredients, it would’ve been even tougher.

“Once we’ve freed Vivi, please don’t forget the role I played, Doctor,” Ejil said.

“I know, I know. I just need to sing your praises to Vivi, right?”

“I knew you’d understand.” Ejil had it all planned out. Vivi was Noela’s friend, so if he got better acquainted with the lake spirit, it’d have a trickle-down effect on his relationship with Noela.

I put my new product in a bag. “I was only able to make one, but eh, I don’t plan to sell this anyway.” I called Noela over. “Hey! Fluff master! We’re going to find Vivi.”

“Groo!” Noela practically snorted, impatient to go.

Mina and Ejil saw us off as we left the drugstore behind.

“Be careful, Mr. Reiji!”

“Doctor, Noela, take care!”

Once Noela turned into a wolf, I rode on her back, holding on to her backpack. We were heading to a town some distance from ours. That old man was coincidentally in Kalta for business when he encountered Vivi and the orb.

Noela dashed through the field. “Groo! Garroooo!”

Sounds like she’s in high spirits. She was almost acting like a dog that’d been taken for a jog. I bet she gets the urge to go for a brisk run now and then.

Speaking of running, Noela was moving at least as quickly as a scooter. If we got into an accident, I’d probably die. “It must feel great to sprint this fast, huh?”

“Arroo!” Noela agreed.

I wonder what she packed. I glanced inside Noela’s backpack only to find two potions and two rice ball lunches. I had a hunch, since I could hear the bottles clacking together. “What is this, a picnic?”

“Garoo?”

I guess one of these lunch boxes is mine. “Let’s set things straight real quick.”

“Groo!” Noela kept making a beeline for the village.

 

***

 

The village was at the foot of a mountain, with a river and field beside it. It was an awesome location, frankly. I had Noela turn back to her usual form, and we decided to look around town.

Even with a potion break for Noela, it only took us about two hours to arrive. It would’ve taken at least half a day by horse and carriage. Her speed and stamina were incredible. “That’s my little werewolf.”

“Noela fast!” Noela puffed out her chest happily.

Near the village entrance, we spotted the old man from before. Passersby greeted him; based on the conversations I overheard, I assumed he was the village elder.

“Ah, Mr. Pharmacist!” he exclaimed. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Howdy.”

The old man looked around and lowered his voice. “So, did you create something to solve our little ‘village elder got carried away’ dilemma?”

“It won’t fix the problem outright, but it might straighten it out indirectly.”

“Ah! I should’ve expected no less from the most famous alchemist in all the land!”

“I’m not an alchemist. I’m a pharmacist,” I interjected as usual. Where the heck did he hear that?

“I’ll need you to solve this on the sly, if you know what I mean,” the elder warned. “I’ve got to save face.”

“No problem.” As for why I was acting so cooperative—well, I was the one who’d started all this by ratting Vivi out, not thinking it’d be a big deal. “How’s Vivi doing? It’s been a few days.”

“We’re treating the priestess well. This way!”

As the elder guided us, I asked something I’d been mulling over for a bit. “What did your village do about rain up until now? It doesn’t look like you’re having drought issues. Does the river flood a lot or something?”

“Not at all. The lord of this region has done lots of construction work that’s cut down on flooding. As for droughts, we get about as many as the villages nearby, so it’s not like we’re the only ones dealing with them. Frequent sun isn’t such a problem either, since there’s a river here.”

“Er…what’s the point of a water priestess, then?”

“Hrm.” The elder thought to himself and then giggled like a little girl. “Tee hee! I figured it’d be better to have one than not.”

What a dumb reason. Vivi, you sure have awful luck.

“But, you know, lots of folks around here think the water god helps keep the village happy,” he continued. “People still believe in the old ways. So, having a local priestess—a girl supposedly capable of communicating the water god’s will—soothes the townsfolk.”

I suppose I get where he’s coming from. And Vivi was a lake spirit, not an ordinary girl, so she wasn’t completely unlike a priestess.

The village elder eventually led Noela and I to a building the town used for gatherings. It was something like a community center. According to the elder, when the townsfolk had a problem, they met here to talk it over.

“This here’s the place,” he said.

When we entered, I spotted the orb resting on a luxurious pillow atop an altar. It was apparently the water priestess’s duty to pray before the altar three times per day.

“Priestess?” the elder called.

I heard a voice from behind the altar. “Water doesn’t really go with potato chips, Mr. Elder! I need juice, you know? It’s all about flavor compatibility!”

Crunch. Gulp.

“I’ll have someone get you grape juice right away.”

“Much obliged!”

I hesitated.

“Oh—and I want meat for lunch!”

“Understood.”

Crunch. Crunch. Gulp. Burp.

I peeked behind the altar. Vivi lay across a pillow, dressed as a priestess. She was munching potato chips, ignoring the crumbs on the pillow and wiping her dirty fingers on her clothes.

“Aah,” Vivi sighed. “Being a priestess is pretty boring, but as long as I pray or whatever a few times a day, I get to lie around. Plus, priestesses get all-you-can-eat meals and snacks! This is the life.”

She’s totally this slobby at home, isn’t she? I felt like an idiot for worrying. “Hey, punk!”

“Gah!”

“Enjoying your lazy new lifestyle?”

“R-Reiji?!” Vivi sat up straight immediately. “Wh-what’re you doing here?”

“I felt bad for letting the cat out of the bag, so I came to save you,” I replied. “Looks like that isn’t necessary.”

“Do…do you want some chips?”

“No, I don’t. If you’re happy here, Noela and I will just be on our way. But if you want to come home with us, I’ll set things straight. What’s your answer, lazy lake fairy?”

“I’m a lake spirit.”

Even Noela—who was the most fired up about rescuing Vivi—let out an exasperated sigh. “Vivi having fun, Master.”

“She sure is. Let’s head home.”

“H-hey, wait! I’m really bored! Pigging out and napping is all well and good, but…”

“I must also ask you to reconsider leaving, Mr. Pharmacist,” the elder interjected.

“If a certain elder just admitted to his villagers that he made a mistake, this’d all be fixed.”

The village elder’s expression suddenly changed, evoking some hardboiled film noir. “Everyone…makes mistakes.”

Don’t try to make that sound like some famous quote. “Jeez.” I sighed. Pulling a bottle from my bag, I passed it to Vivi. “Drink this.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll explain later. I can take our orb back, right, Mr. Elder?”

“Of course.”

Earlier, I had Noela make a counterfeit crystal. I got it out of my bag.

“N-Noela’s! Noela make that!” the werewolf girl exclaimed.

Yikes…it’s just a cracked rock with paint on it. Well, whatever.

Vivi could just have taken some super invisiblize, but then the villagers would think she randomly vanished. That’d freak them out, since they were deeply religious.

“Mr. Elder, all you need to do is…” I explained the treatment’s effects to him and Vivi.

“Mm-hmm. I see. At that point, everyone should be satisfied.”

“That should be okay,” agreed the lake spirit.

“Thanks, Mr. Pharmacist.”

“No big deal. People like us have got to watch each other’s backs, after all.” I smirked.

Finished with the explanations, Noela and I left the community center and waited at the elder’s house.

“What new treatment do, Master?”

“It basically lets Vivi molt.”

“What ‘molt’ mean?”

Yep, molting was Vivi’s way out of this. But I didn’t know exactly how in-depth this “molting” would be, since my medicine-making skill described the treatment like a magazine ad would’ve.

 

Mr. Peel: Enables user to forget past and become better by reinventing themselves!

 

Noela and I spent an hour eating lunch and relaxing at the elder’s house before we heard Vivi scream from the community center. “Aaaaaaugh!”

“Hey, Noela! Time to go.”

Noela nodded, and we made our way toward the community center. After Vivi’s awful screech, people started gathering nearby, which made it difficult to use the building’s front entrance. I’d guessed that would happen, so I’d told Vivi to exit using the back door.

I spotted the village elder in the crowd of onlookers. “We’re counting on you, sir.”

“I understand. I’m so sorry I can’t offer you anything in return for this.”

“That’s fine.”

The three of us moved away from the front door. “My people, quiet yourselves!” the elder shouted to the crowd.

Noela squeezed my hand. “What happen, Master?”

“Let’s just say the skin Vivi shed is still inside.”

“Huh?”

Specifically, it was behind the altar. When Noela, the elder, and I entered the community center, several people were frozen in shock near the pillow where Vivi had been resting. Noela and I could’ve left and met up with Vivi now, but personally, I was curious about how things would play out.

“I’m a pharmacist! Make way, please!” I requested. The crowd parted for us.

“Ah, a traveling pharmacist!” the elder said. “Traveling pharmacist” was the explanation we decided on for my presence, so he was doing his job.

That should make things easy. “What happened here?”

“T-take a look!” Someone pointed a finger toward Vivi’s…shell.

“She’s dead?!” I pretended not to know what was going on. When I poked Vivi’s “shell,” it was immediately clear that it was empty; it had a weird texture too.

Whoa…that really is a shell. Vivi even molted her priestess outfit and the potato chips she was eating. She had two in her mouth… She kind of looks like a duck. What awful timing, I reflected. But, wow, this terrible scene really is convincing.

Noela began to panic, eyes rolling back in her head. “Master! Bad! Real bad!”

“Don’t worry, fluffball.”

“Mr. Pharmacist, is the water priestess…?”

I put on my most serious face and nodded. “It’s a shame.”

“Master! Vivi—”

I clamped a hand over Noela’s mouth. “Noela, I just need you to chill out for a second, okay?” I really should’ve explained things to her properly.

The elder walked toward Vivi’s deathbed. “How could this have happened? The priestess, she’s… And the Water God’s Crystal is…!”

Not a bad performance at all, old man.

“You’re right!” I said. “The crystal’s transformed into…into something a child might make as a practical joke!” Actually, it’d taken Noela about half an hour to complete.

Noela pushed my hand away, unable to bear me badmouthing her prized artwork. “Noela’s crystal! Good work! No practical joke!”

“Shut up, please.” I covered her mouth again.

“Mmph! Mmph!” She thrashed a bit, so I held her tightly.

“What happened here, Elder?” someone asked.

“The priestess personally bore the brunt of the water god’s rage.”

“Unbelievable.”

A wave of concern washed over the villagers. “Why was the water god so furious?” one asked.

The poor village elder looked a bit lost at the unexpected question. “W-well, you see…”

You aren’t very good at improv, are you?

“Hey, what’s going on?” Vivi poked her head in the back door.

What’re you doing here?! I immediately hurled Noela at Vivi. “Go, Noela!”

The pair squealed as they collapsed on top of each other.

Perfect. I’m…I’m pretty sure nobody heard her.

“I don’t know why the water god was enraged,” the elder declared. “However, I know the priestess sacrificed herself to protect us!”

All that hemming and hawing just to repeat the same answer. The elder’s reply actually made sense, though, since the priestess was the only one who could communicate with the water god.

I glanced at the village elder, and he nodded twice. Careful not to be noticed, I left the crowd behind the altar and tiptoed to the back entrance.

“That was so mean, Reiji!” Vivi pouted. “How could you throw Noela at me like that?”

“Sorry. I couldn’t help it.”

“Master!” Noela was irate. “Crystal hard work! Not practical joke!”

That’s what she’s angry about? That phrase really must’ve damaged her artistic pride. “Look, let’s go home. I’ll hear you out later.”

I had Noela turn into a wolf, and she carried Vivi and I out of the village without anyone spotting us.

 

***

 

Mina saw us and came out to greet us. “Welcome home, everyone!”

Noela turned back into a human. The rest of us let out exasperated sighs.

“I’ll go pour you all some tea,” Mina said, heading for the kitchen.

“What exactly was that treatment, Reiji?” Vivi asked. “I started feeling all slow and weird just after I drank it.”

“It makes you molt.”

“But I didn’t shed my skin or anything.”

“Wait…really?”

Vivi nodded.

“But that shell was basically just you,” I muttered. “With an amazing facial expression to boot.”

Could the Mr. Peel treatment have been strong enough to create a dummy of Vivi instead of helping her molt?

“It’s not my fault if the treatment didn’t work!” Vivi cried. “I wasn’t ready, and it just happened out of nowhere! So…um…will that village be all right?”

“Erm, about that…” I leveled with Vivi. “Basically, they didn’t need a priestess. They just thought it’d be best to have one.”

“What the heck?! What was the point of all my suffering, then?!”

“Right? I felt like an idiot for worrying and going to rescue you too.” I hadn’t known Vivi would enjoy her new life as a freeloader so much.

“At the end of the day, though, wasn’t this your fault, since you told the elder I was a priestess?”

I rapidly changed the subject. “Vivi, is there anything you’d like?”

“Wha…? Absolutely! What’s going on? How come you’re being so nice?!”

Ha. Still a child.

“According to the good doctor, the fault also lies with the village elder,” Ejil interjected. “After realizing he misconstrued the situation, he didn’t try to resolve it.”

Nice backup, Ejil!

“Good point,” Vivi said.

The Demon King glanced at me.

I know. I remember. “By the way,” I told her, “There’s no way I could’ve made that molting treatment without Ejil’s help.”

“Hunh.”

Doesn’t sound like you’ve made any headway with Vivi, buddy. Her nonchalance was crystal clear, but Ejil looked pleased nonetheless.

 

***

 

A few days later, the village elder dropped by the drugstore. He wanted to thank us and apologize for everything that happened, so he brought a bag of potato chips as a gift. We enjoyed the crunchy snack while drinking tea Mina had brewed us.

All I could think was that Vivi was right. Potato chips went better with juice.

Afterward, I had the village elder tell me what happened once Vivi, Noela, and I fled the scene.

“The villagers decided to enshrine the priestess’s remains,” he revealed.

“Hunh. Didn’t see that coming.”

So, they took her embarrassing shell—er, dummy—and now they’re displaying it? Who am I to judge? Still, it was too bad the dummy had those two potato chips in its mouth, making it look like a duck.

After the elder headed home, I told Vivi what he’d said.

“Huh?! The villagers are worshiping me?”

“I wouldn’t go that far.” It was more like they revered the priestess who protected the village.

“I see!” Vivi looked delighted. “Since I’m a lake spirit, humans worshiping me makes total sense—even though you constantly mess with me.”

“Vivi, I hate to break it to you, but they’re ‘worshiping’ you as a water priestess, not a lake spirit.”

“Ah…you’re right.” Her shoulders slumped.

After visiting the village, Noela had a creative phase. I taught her to make mud balls, since they were orb-shaped. She got really into the process.

“Master! Noela’s masterpiece!” She proudly thrust a mud ball into my face as I watched the store.

“Nice work, pal.”

“Garroo!”

It ended up being yet another peaceful day here at Kirio Drugs.