Chapter 4: A news channel that broadcasts the comedies and tragedies of some far off world

■CHANNEL29■

It was morning. The sky, which was pitch-black, slowly started to grow brighter.

I’m usually quite fast at waking up, but today I just couldn’t find it in me. Was it because of the makeshift bed that had somehow been cobbled together out of a large amount of uniforms and towels?

Probably not the only reason, because I was still in the amusement park. This was an alternate dimension, right? It would’ve been nice if all my problems had resolved themselves while I was sleeping.

Yawning, I drew air into my lungs in order to gain energy, but I don’t have the will to start moving. Between muscle aches, small scratches and abrasions, and burns, my entire body is throbbing in pain. Blearily wrenching my eyes open, I saw a geometrical decoration hanging off the ceiling. Around me were shelves filled with junk.

This was the amusement park’s gift shop. The lights in the building turned on automatically, and it became bright enough that I could no longer stay asleep. I got up with a groan.

I was in a gloomy mood. Really, I just want to scream. Last night, we were attacked by strange monsters; a monkey and a slug that had combined with some sort of screen. We barely managed to escape from those ominous things with our lives.

Letting the smartbug fly, I had contacted Kousuke, although the note I had attached to it was nearly incoherent. My handwriting was bad enough that I wasn’t sure he’d actually be able to read it. Upon reading the note, Kousuke rushed over and led us to the gift shop.

He also carried Torii, who was in tatters. He even helped give her first aid, although there was no kit, so Kousuke was only able to give her stop-gap treatment. Using torn clothes as bandages, he attached her broken arm to a splint, as well as bandaging her head wounds. Kousuke even went as far as to go to a control room shower to get water so he could clean her wounds, even if he wouldn’t have wanted to, given what happened earlier.

His gallant treatment had some effect, as he managed to keep Torii alive. But she was still gravely wounded, and would need to get treated at a hospital by a doctor as soon as possible. But there’s no way to do that in this dimension, so we still have to leave quickly.

“Denkiya...san. Are you...awake?” Hearing a small voice that felt like it could disappear at any moment, I turned.

Bedding had been made from a bunch of uniforms piled high. Kousuke was considerate and made the bedding, thinking it would be better than sleeping on the bare floor or the ground. All three of us— Torii, Utena, and I— slept on it. Kousuke was probably outside; he’d said that he would keep watch.

Apparently, I was the last one to wake up. I didn’t see Kousuke or Utena, but right next to me lay Torii, who couldn’t move on her own and so lay face up on the bedding.

Looking at her again, I could see her wounds, which were so severe I didn’t want to look at them. She didn’t have anything else to wear, so she was still in her uniform, and she had towels wrapped around her here and there in place of bandages. They were soaked through with blood, and she looked pitiful.

Her right arm was in a splint, and also wrapped tight in towels so that she wouldn’t move it. We wiped her body down with a wet towel, though, so at least she looked clean. I could smell blood even from where I was.

“Good morning,” I greeted her. If I asked her not to call me Denkiya, it would probably only waste her stamina with needless conversation. I straightened out my hair, which had gotten mussed up while I was sleeping, with my fingers.

“Are you alright? Torii-san...I’m so happy you’re still alive,” I told her. “I was worried, you know? It looked to me like you really died last night.”

“Yeah. I’m alright, just barely.” Shrinking back, Torii wriggled her wound-covered body in embarrassment.

“Mishiro-kun...gave me first aid, so... He’s a really...reliable person.” Hearing her call my childhood friend with affection caused my chest to twinge in pain a little, so I put my focus into fixing my uniform. As one would expect, wearing a uniform as is would not make for good sleep. So when sleeping, I loosened it up a little by opening a few buttons, among other things.

Torii must have thought she shouldn’t watch me fix my clothes, so she shifted and turned over slightly, taking care to not move her broken arm. Turning her face away, she sighed heavily. “Sorry.”

I was perplexed, what was she apologizing for? “Kousuke was the one who basically did all of the work giving you first aid,” I told her. “Kagamimori-san and I just did whatever small bits we could, basically. So, save your ‘sorrys’ and ‘thank yous’ for him, okay? ...Are you...friends with him?”

“He’s a kind person, he is,” Torii said. “It looks like he’s always concerned about me.”

“Hmm, is that so?” I was thoughtful. “So Kousuke’s nice to you.”

“I think he’s nice to everyone— wait, Denkiya-san, do you know Mishiro-kun?” Torii asked.

“Did I not tell you?” I said apologetically. “We’re childhood friends. I couldn’t get rid of him, even if I wanted to. We haven’t talked to each other at all recently, though. I never thought we’d wind up in the same weird place together.”

“I wonder what this place is, this...amusement park.” Because of the long conversation, Torii started to painfully breathe shallowly. “It’s like...I’m having a bad dream. If I’m going to dream anyway, I wanted it to be a good one...” Her speech started sounding like she was delirious. She’s hurt, I shouldn’t let her talk too much. Ashamed at my lack of awareness, I stood up, seeing as how I’d finished putting on the uniform, anyway.

I put on my apron and the bandana, too. With this, hopefully I’ve become my usual self. “Umm... Do you know where the others are? I’ll go say good morning— or should I stay here and take care of you, Torii-san?”

“No, it’s fine. You’re a nice person too, Denkiya-san.” Torii smiled gently. She looked kind of like a saint, even though, at school, she’s being bullied and ostracized. There was no shabbiness or pitifulness to her, to the point where it was a little irritating.

Maybe I was also one of the people looking down on her secretly in my heart, thinking her inferior and pitiful. Even so, she was treated nicely by Kousuke... Is this jealousy? I wondered.

“Late last night, Kurashima-san came back all of a sudden. So, Mishiro-kun, he...left somewhere, like they were switching out,” Torii explained. “He said he would do something, investigate? That’s what Kurashima-san said— I was sleeping at the time, so they told me after.”

He does like to investigate, that wannabe hero. I wasn’t...satisfied that he’d left a wounded person and me alone to go off doing whatever he wanted. I also felt a little lonely, and I pouted my lips.

Actually, why does Kousuke always try to go off on his own given the slightest opportunity? Was he really just that uncooperative? While I was thinking those thoughts, I also reacted to a name I hadn’t heard in a while. “Kurashima-san?” I questioned. “So he returned? Where was he, and what was he doing?”

“No idea...” Torii trailed off. “You should go ask him, he should be standing watch just outside. Utena-chan is probably with him, too.” Saying that, Torii closed her eyes.

Thinking that we shouldn’t allow her to get cold, I gently placed towels and uniforms on her, like a blanket. This is about all I could do for her. I thought I should do it, so I did. Ah, all I’m doing is going with the flow.

At the end, just once, I softly caressed her head. I did feel that that was too friendly, though. It was like she was a baby.

“Please rest,” I told her. “I’ll come back soon, let’s get out of here together.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “Thank you, kind one—”

Those were the last words I ever spoke to Torii.

■CHANNEL30■

Dawn was approaching in the amusement park, and the place suddenly became lively.

Even so, it probably wasn’t normal operating hours yet. The crowds of people with unrecognizable faces weren’t around yet. What looked like pure white arms— I couldn’t see them too well in the morning light— started popping up here and there, doing things like wiping down the walls of buildings, and painting things white.

Morning cleaning and maintenance, was the impression I got. I still don’t understand the true nature of this strange amusement park even now, though. It would be hard to even guess at. It seemed like there was a schedule, and everything was moving according to that.

Amusement parks are meant to entertain their customers. But in that case, who was this place meant to entertain? At the very least, I’m having no fun at all here.

I want to be home already. Yesterday, I only felt this vaguely. But now, that feeling has become an urgent desire. I want to return to my world, which was boring but peaceful. I can’t sleep well in this dimension.

Sounds similar to construction resounded. Looking towards them, the things that had burnt down yesterday, the parliament building and the merry-go-round, were being removed. The hard-to-see white arms also had a hand in this, lifting up rubble into the sky.

At the same time, something that looked like a white ants’ nest, or clay, came up from the ground. The fingers on the white arms kneaded it, making it start to take shape. Are they building a new building or attraction?

Those giant arms...if the black ones I saw yesterday are the same as the white ones I see now, then... They seem to be rough things, and it doesn’t look like they’re able to recognize us. If we were to be recognized as something foreign to this amusement park, as trash, I don’t think we could avoid getting removed.

After all, yesterday I too was taken along with a bunch of TVs, and was carelessly dropped by them... Let’s be careful not to get near those white arms. Anything could happen at any time in this dimension; we were living next to death. I’ll have to protect myself.

Only now do I realize how safe life in the country was, the daily life that I casually enjoyed. Humans, advanced in the fields of science and civilization, making towns and laws... In order to protect ourselves, we built up history, structure, and culture. I realized that.

I can feel that this is a place outside of human history. It’s just like the deep mountains, or the ocean floor. No, it’s just like the surface of the moon; this is an extremely dangerous wilderness, where no one will protect you.

This place is raw nature, where human lives can be blown away easily. This is terrible. I got the chills, and wrapped my arms around myself.

“Ummm—” Torii told me that Utena and Kurashima would be right outside the gift shop, but they aren’t here. Not having lookouts is a problem; Torii and I were sleeping defenselessly inside just a moment ago.

If there had been another fire, the both of us would have been goners. Where could Utena and the others be and what could they even be doing there, I wonder... Angry, I looked around randomly.

Right away, I saw two of the missing people. Utena and Kurashima were on the opposite side of the gift shop, in a small but tasteful building. Like something built by three little pigs, it was a messy patchwork of brick, wood, and straw. The roof was the color of cheap toothpaste.

The place had a sign, but as usual, it was written in either a foreign language, or some other unknown language to me, and I couldn’t read it. Through the cleanly polished windowsill, I could see the two of them having a friendly chat.

I guess that building is a restaurant, because the two of them were eating. Pastel colored marshmallows were piled on a ceramic plate, and I could see them throw one into their mouths occasionally. It looked like they were having a date, so it was hard to interrupt them, but...

“Heeyy!” Calling out to them, I walk over. It didn’t look like they’d heard me, so I opened the double doors. I stepped inside the building, or the store, as I’ll call it.

“Ah, Hitomi! Morning, look who’s an over-sleeper!” Utena noticed me immediately, and she waved her hand to call me over.

She was incredibly confused last night, though. Either Kurashima had calmed her down, or she’s just not the type to dwell on one emotion for too long. Either way, Utena’s expression was bright and cheerful. Wiping off the crumbs around her mouth with the back of her hand, she motioned me over.

“Here, sit. We have food,” she offered generously. “You’re hungry, aren’t you?” Now that she said it, I barely ate anything yesterday. I only snacked a bit while we were inside that parliament building, or whatever it was.

“Ha... Um, good morning.” Greeting them while sounding a little spaced out, I came closer to the two. The inside of the store felt like a cafe, with seats lined up here and there. In true amusement park fashion, the chairs were shaped like some kind of artwork, and seemed hard to use for normal people. What were they trying to imitate? I wondered. The design looked like some sort of alien, or a mollusk.

Utena and Kurashima sat across from each other at a table. I hesitated for a moment, trying to decide who to sit next to, before choosing Utena.

“Oh, you’re sitting here? Okay, come over!♪” Laughing sweetly, Utena shifted over to the side to give me space to sit. She was relatively bright and friendly— a good girl, although her childish way of speaking stood out.

“Did you sleep well?” she chatted. “Utena slept at a weird time, so she kept waking up and falling back asleep. I’m tired enough to want to go back to sleep, but somehow I’m wide awake instead.” The girl who was speaking about something looked understandably thin. Utena was a glamorous girl originally, but now, she looked worn out. It was probably because she’d cried her eyes out last night, but her eyes looked puffy and swollen. Her long hair was also getting frayed, and tangled in some places. She must have changed into a new uniform, though, because what she was wearing looked clean. Utena was the type to pay attention to her looks, so thinking that she wouldn’t want me to see her like this, I turned my eyes away from her.

■CHANNEL31■

“Excuse me.” Bowing to the lady, I sat. Kurashima was in front of me, and I hesitated on how to speak to him. It’s been a while?— no, that’s not it. What were you doing all this time? I probably shouldn’t go all high handed and interrogate him like that.

“Hitomi-chan, just eat for now,” he advised. “All we have is sweets, though.” Calmly, Kurashima slid the ceramic plate over my way.

Wrapped in the light coming from the window, Kurashima had an angelic beauty to him: he had feminine long hair with gentle good looks, and he was still in his all-black riding suit from yesterday. Compared to us, who’ve been through hell and look appropriately haggard for it, he’s somehow calm. He seems otherworldly.

He is an actor... Oh, that’s right, he was this kind of person. This is the face Kurashima always has. Somehow satisfied, I bow my head in greeting, saying, “Hello.”

It’s true that I’m starving. Saying my prayers, I put my hands together before reaching over to the plate and putting one of the marshmallow-like things into my mouth. It wasn’t as sweet as it looked; it was like mochi. Normally, I wouldn’t want to put something in my mouth if I didn’t know what it was. But I can’t fight against survival instinct— I need to put some nutrition in me so I can keep living.

“This place looked like a restaurant, so we were looking for stuff to eat,” he explained, “but we couldn’t really find anything, so basically, this was all we could manage. Please, eat up, have your fill.” Kurashima looked at me pleasantly, like I was a small animal. “You can’t fight on an empty stomach, after all.”

“I don’t plan to fight at all,” I retorted. “I don’t even know what I would be fighting, or how to fight in the first place. I’m so sick of all this... Kurashima-san,” I went on, “I haven’t seen you since forever. Where have you been, and what have you been doing all this time?” Deciding I should find this out if I could, I asked him.

Never dropping his smile, Kurashima acted as I expected, shrugging his shoulders like a true performer. “I was looking around here and there,” he said vaguely, “just like Kousuke-kun— Sorry we couldn’t act together, I heard that yesterday was quite harsh.”

“That’s right, we ran into some awful stuff. I’m so happy that you came back, Yuudai-kun.” Utena replied instead of me, before taking a handful of imitation marshmallows and throwing them in her mouth like she was stress eating. Her chewing was audible. “I already hate this place...” she lamented. “I want to go back home. Let’s get out of here already, even one second earlier.” Putting her arm on the table so she could rest her cheek in her palms, Utena sighed listlessly.

It made me want to pat her head a little. It probably wouldn’t be proper to act that familiarly— so with a sigh of my own, I said, “Agreed. Umm, this...food? May I bring some over to Torii-san?” She would also need to eat, I thought. She’ll need even more nutrition since she’s recovering. “Actually,” I continued, “someone should still be keeping watch over the gift shop. What if there’s another fire? ... Kurashima-san?”

“Ah, sorry.” For some reason, he was looking out the window, all distracted and restless. Kurashima flashed a wry smile. “I think it’ll be fine, even if you aren’t that cautious, though. We can see the gift shop from here, too. If something happens, we’d be able to get there right away.”

Well, it looks like they haven’t forgotten about it, at least. Kurashima must have been hit somewhere strange as his mind doesn’t seem very calm— his behavior indicated his restlessness, even though yesterday he was pretty calm.

“This food, well... Go and give it to her. I wonder if Torii-chan can eat food yet, though?” he wondered. “It really wouldn’t be proper if I was to just walk up to sleeping girls, so I’ve been outside the whole time and don’t know much about her condition. Is she alright?”

“For now, she’s out of the woods,” I told him. “But she’s still seriously wounded, and it looks like she can’t move on her own. At the very least, though, I think she won’t suddenly die on us.”

“Hmm, is that so? Well that’s...great.” Kurashima didn’t look like he was really interested for some reason.

Kousuke did say that before he wandered into this dimension, he saw the two fighting while there was a fire raging, or something similar. But from Kurashima’s behavior, it felt more like they were complete strangers. It would be hard to delve deeper into this topic, though, so even if I wanted to ask I couldn’t. It would also be bad if this distracted us.

Still, this is somewhat of a disappointment, as Kurashima seems a little unreliable. No, he did prepare food for us, I reminded myself, and he’s trying his best. It wouldn’t do to rely on him for everything just because he’s the oldest, or because he’s a man. But I also shouldn’t blame him for being gone for so long, or hope for too much out of him.

Thinking that, I changed the topic a little. “I heard that Kousuke went out to investigate things as soon as you came back. Did he leave you anything?”

“Eh...?” Kurashima sounded surprised. “No, he didn’t say anything to me.”

Hrm. I thought he’d leave the smartbug again as a means of communication; maybe he forgot, this time. Or maybe he hesitated to give an item(or bug?) as precious as the smartbug was to Kurashima, instead of handing it directly to me? There might be other reasons, too, but I can’t think of any.

In my case, that was more convenient. I don’t want to touch that creepy smartbug, if possible, but...I felt a little lonely, not having a way to contact Kousuke.

“I see, Kousuke, is it—?” Utena, who cheekily emptied the plate that was set in front of me, laughed like a cat. “Fufu... I see, Kousuke, that rascal, is just a little bit different when it comes to Hitomi. He’s still just as blunt, but also kind, I guess is how you’d say it. I see, I see,” Utena chortled happily. “Fufufufu♪” I’m not sure what she’s talking about, but I get the feeling that it was pretty inconsequential.

So that’s how it is; Kousuke’s attitude towards me is a little different. Well, it’s true that Kousuke’s been putting on the mask of an obedient servant in front of Utena, so maybe it’s just her he was different in front of. It looks like he was kind to Torii too, after all.

“Well, you could say that there’s no point in trying to investigate this amusement park now, of all times,” I said. “It looks like there are actually regular exits, so let’s just leave through there.” I had just placed the topic that we needed to discuss on the chopping board. “I have no idea where Kousuke is or what he’s doing, but we should leave first. He said so, too. Kagamimori-san, are you okay with that?”

“Yeah,” she agreed easily. “I want to say goodbye already, to this confusing place.”

“Well, we haven’t actually made sure that if you leave through the exit, you actually leave yet, though,” I cautioned. “And the locations of the exits are a little vague in my mind, too.” I also don’t have the smartbug anymore, which would have had a map app on it, and had lost the map that Kousuke made when we escaped from the fire. I hadn’t had the wherewithal to pay attention to it in the middle of everything, so it was probably still underground in the control room. That map has probably burnt to ashes now.

Well, there is a giant creepy castle in the middle of the amusement park... As long as we head away from it, we should reach the edge of the park, I reasoned. And it looks like the entrances and exits to the park are all somewhere on the edge... Looking for an exit shouldn’t be that hard.

“It’ll be fine. In regards to that, leave it to me.” Kurashima raised his hand elegantly.

He did go out to investigate, maybe he found out where the exits are, I thought.

“Once we finish eating, let’s move,” I decided. “We’re going to get out of this amusement park.”

“Yeah! I’d be scared if I was alone, but I’ll be fine with Yuudai-kun and Hitomi with me!” Utena’s speech was bright, probably because we had a hope of leaving.

For some reason, she had a habit of pretending Torii didn’t exist, so I added something just in case: “Let’s carry Torii-san out too. It would be tough with just Kagamimori-san and I...can you help carry her, Kurashima-san?”

“Okay,” he agreed. “Rather than help, well, I’ll just take care of her myself.” It felt a little like empty bravado, but Kurashima thumped his own chest when he took on the job. He’s a guy, so I guessed that he would be able to carry Torii by himself on his back, or something.

At the same time, a jaunty tune started playing across the park; apparently, they’ve opened. It wouldn’t be good if we got caught up in mysterious events again, so we need to move fast. Quickly stuffing my face with marshmallows, I stood up.

■CHANNEL32■

After that... Really, I wanted to escape this strange amusement park slash alternate dimension as soon as possible.

“Look, look, Hitomi! Isn’t this view a little interesting? This is an amusement park, right?” Utena chatted. “The view from up here is great— Not good, right? Creepy, right? It’s so disgusting, don’t you think, Hitomi?” She was all excited, somehow, and was making a lot of noise.

The giant Ferris wheel that you could see from anywhere in the park; Utena and I were currently riding in one of the gondolas. I felt that this wasn’t the time to be elegantly enjoying the view at all, though. Well, there were extenuating circumstances, and this had to be done.

The inside of the gondola was plain; normal, even, which was rare for this outrageous place. The seats in this gondola weren’t very comfortable. I was sitting on a seat made out of something smooth and hard, like a rock. Utena was in front of me, and we sat facing each other, all alone. Now that I thought about it, this is the first time I’ve been alone with her. Up until now, there’d always been someone else next to her, and we never had time to settle down and talk.

I gazed fixedly at Utena, who was glued to the window in front of me, looking outside. She had dull brown hair, and was wearing a skirt I was deeply familiar with, only rolled up to the limit to make hers as short as possible. With her knees on the seat, she was kicking her legs up and down behind her; any harder, and the force would show me her underwear. Feeling that this sight would be poison for my eyes, I looked away.

I wanted to leave. Why did I have to go on a trip to the sky with this princess? It made me want to run away. The movement of the gondola was painfully slow, and we were no longer at a height that I could jump from safely, so I had no choice but to sit tight.

“Hm? What, is there something on Utena’s face?” Feeling my gaze, Utena turned around. “You seem weird. This’ll probably be the last time we see this place, so why don’t you enjoy the sights too, Hitomi?” She was in a really good mood, and has been like this for a while now. She’s probably just excited that we finally have a possible means to escape this amusement park dimension. She also seems like the sort of person who enjoys amusement parks in the first place.

“Don’t move around too much, okay?” I cautioned. Utena was moving a lot, and the gondola was shaking in proportion to her movements, which was really scary. “This place, it’s not a real— actually, it’s not like this place is a normal amusement park, anyway. It’s likely that nobody took safety into account,” I tried to explain to her. “So if you keep shaking the gondola, we might fall.”

“You’re right,” she agreed. “If we fall from this high up it would hurt, and that would suck.” With a show of reluctance, Utena sat down in her seat properly.

Right next to us was the entrance/exit of the gondola, which was really just an oblong hole. If this was a real amusement park, there’d be someone to close the door and lock it, preventing people from falling out. But in this place, we shouldn’t expect anything of the sort. The entrance had been left open, and it was the picture of danger— outside of the gondola was empty air. If for some reason the gondola tilted, we could slip and fall out of it, only to be thrown into the atmosphere. If there had been a door or something, I would have closed it, but there wasn’t. Well, the lack of a door was the exact reason that we were able to hitch a ride without buying a ticket. But it’s not like I wanted to ride this thing, though.

“You’re looking a bit sour there, Hitomi.” Utena was unusually perceptive, which was unlike her. She was looking at my face. “Is there something you’re worried about? If you’re okay with Utena, I can at least listen.”

“No, it’s fine... I’m just...a little scared of heights,” I admitted. I came into this amusement park falling from way up high, after all. My memory of when I was saved was vague and hazy, but the fear of dying by falling is still ingrained into me. It’ll probably become full-blown acrophobia.

“Utena’s fine, you know? You’re pathetic, haha♪” Happy for some reason, Utena restlessly swung her legs from side to side. Apparently, she wasn’t enjoying the uncomfortable gondola seats. She would sit on her hands, or stand up halfway and then sit down; Utena didn’t stay still for a second. “God, what a terrible seat,” she remarked.

“Yeah,” I agreed, “we should have brought cushions with us.”

And just like that, we made rather inconsequential small talk. I sighed. How long does it take for this gondola to go all the way around? At this rate, it would be half an hour, or perhaps even longer. And in that time, I would be stuck alone with this girl. The gondola wouldn’t fit three people, so Kurashima stayed on the ground. It seems he’s searching for a stretcher or something similar that he can use to carry Torii, while making sure she stays healthy. Certainly, carrying her on a stretcher or pushing her around on a cart would be easier than carrying her on his back. Kurashima’s taking care of that, among other preparations for leaving. After finding out that yesterday, we’d experienced some pretty horrible things while he was away, he’d said he wanted to redeem himself for not being able to help.

Well, let him do what he wants, although I did want to help with the preparations for leaving. Before that, ride the Ferris wheel— that was also one of Kurashima’s suggestions, as a way to kill time, or something.

Personally, I didn’t want to sit in this unstable ride. Not only was it too tall, it also had nowhere to escape to. But for now, I also have my own reasons for choosing to do so; I wanted to try and find one of the exits, or the gates, while we were high up. I really don’t want to be going the wrong way when the park shifts the gate locations, or possibly gets rid of them altogether— after all, I didn’t have a clear memory of where they were located.

And more than that, there was something I wanted to make sure of, which was that the area past the gates really was the ‘outside.’ I couldn’t get past the idea that, outside the gates, there would just be more of this alternate dimension, going on forever. If that was the case, escape would be impossible. Even if outside the gates was just an infinite wasteland, or just more alternate dimension... Just in case, I was still going to try and escape at least once. But if I can get a peek at it beforehand, I could at least keep down my despair if, by any chance, we are actually unable to leave.

If I just went through the gates unknowingly, only to find out that I couldn’t actually escape, my heart would just break, and I’d fall into despair.

It’s also a way to kill time until we’re ready to go. I was hoping that I might be able to come up with another way to escape just in case, while we had this vantage point. The first time I was falling when I was here, I didn’t have any leeway to do that at all, but now I did. Looking at the scenery with the goal of escaping in mind, there might be some fact to discover that would lighten my heart.

I wasn’t expecting much, though. I’m just an average high school student, not the protagonist of a story. I don’t have the skills or brains to notice some important clue and use it in order to live longer, or something. That’s why, well, this was just a consolation... It was action on the level of being better than not doing anything.

“It’s boring just looking at the scenery, isn’t it.” Utena quickly got bored of the Ferris wheel, and she started winding up the tips of her hair with her fingers. I hadn’t told her of my plans— to confirm the locations of the gates, among other things. It wasn’t something important enough to ask for her help, and Utena doesn’t seem like she’d like people telling her what to do.

“Let’s talk, Hitomi,” she said. “...hm? You don’t want to?” I hadn’t even replied yet, but Utena had already come to a hasty conclusion, and was wearing a frown on her face.

It was certainly true that I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to enjoy conversation right now. I did think that it would be a little annoying to deal with Utena, but those feelings shouldn’t have shown on my face. I should just let the situation flow around me, I told myself, separating my body and my heart while putting on a forced smile. That’s the kind of person I am. I should have been good at acting tactfully.

“Hey, Hitomi, behind you... Isn’t your window...looking awfully like a TV screen?” Utena said, asking something strange.

Panicking, I turned around, but there was just the window pane behind me. Beyond that, there was only the scenery of a creepy amusement park.

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“That’s weird. Maybe it’s just you that can’t see it? Well, whatever. Not everyone looks at the world the same way. Utena, you know, is a little different from other kids.” Puffing out her chest with a huff, Utena started talking about herself.

She probably loves herself. Or rather, maybe she just doesn’t have that much interest in other people.

“It’s because Utena’s a Kagamimori, you know?” she went on. “Everyone’s just a little formal.” The Kagamimoris are the rulers of my town, and she’s their only daughter, a princess. Her surroundings always prize and pamper her. Saying yes to everything, willingly doing whatever she wanted. But that might be loneliness, too. It was a situation where interests and human relationships aligned, and the only people around are her slaves and servants. The throne is probably a lonely place, but that’s still a luxurious problem to have.

“That’s why, I was a little jealous of you, Hitomi.” Utena said something unexpected.

My surprised face was obvious enough that even I noticed I was making one, and I ended up staring straight at Utena. She looked down kind of awkwardly, while playing with her fingers. I had thought she was the type of girl to always go around boldly, with her head held high though.

“Kousuke talks about his childhood friend a lot, you know?” she asked rhetorically. “You’re the one, aren’t you? I heard she was the daughter of the Denkiyas... And there’s only one set of Denkiyas in town.” Utena was talking as she pleased, one-sidedly.

Is that so, Kousuke, you... So you’ve been talking about me. I realized. So the days we spent playing around as if we were one person are still inside him, if only a little. I wanted to ask what he thought of me, but I felt a little too embarrassed to actually put that into words— so, unable to reply, I just kept silent.

“You played together every day, didn’t you? And you’d come home covered in mud... Utena’s never done anything like that. It was all lessons for me. Even at home, I had to study and force smiles.” Breathing on the window behind her, Utena started drawing a picture in the fogged up glass. This is probably just idle chat to kill boredom; this gondola ride has been long and slow. “I didn’t know why I was living. The same days just repeated, over and over... But you know, I have a goal now. No, it’s more like a dream. Until now it’s just been a simple dream.” This was like when a small child was going to show you their ultimate treasure. Utena gave me a lovely upwards look, before whispering: “Utena, you see, wants to become an idol.” She acted shy while telling me that it was a secret.

She also mentioned a name. “Did you know? Utena’s mom was an idol named Hanemori Joururi... You probably don’t know, it’s a pretty old name. That’s why, Utena should also have some talent.” While talking, Utena took something out of her pocket and showed it to me. It looked like a postcard— On it was a beautiful and lovely girl dressed in an idol’s costume, and she looked like she was shining. It also had Hanemori Joururi’s signature on it, although it wasn’t handwritten, just printed on. With both her eyes shining passionately, Utena stared at the postcard for a while before putting it back into her pocket. Probably because it didn’t seem like you’d be able to bring anything with you that you didn’t already have on your person when you cross dimensions. That just meant that Utena always had the postcard on her person. It was just that important.

With enough passion that she could be called a fanatic, Utena spoke like she was in love. “Hanemori Joururi, Hanemori Joururi... She was a genius, a Super Idol. She’s already retired though, so the only way I can watch her in action is in videos. In this rural place, gathering those videos and stuff was hard work. And that person is my mother,” Utena told me happily.

I was working off of limited information, and I didn’t know the name of that Idol in the first place, so my only reaction was, “Is that so?” But somehow, I remember hearing that name from somewhere. She was probably just that famous. Enough that you knew her name even if you weren’t paying attention to the TV. At the level where even I know her name, at the very least.

“Utena wants to become like Hanemori Joururi, too. Just like mom... Once I realized that dream, every day was shining. Life needs to have goals. Don’t you think, Hitomi?” I think that, too. Just existing every day isn’t the same as living. But in that boring town, what kind of dream are you telling me to have? Utena said that she was jealous of me, but really, I’m jealous of her. Born into a high class family with more money that she could use in a lifetime...and she even has a dream for herself. She’s a winner. It was almost hateful, how much she resembled a story’s protagonist. In our world, Utena had a starring role; she was born that way.

“But you know, life just isn’t that convenient. I decided I wanted to be an idol, but...Papa would probably say no,” Utena said sadly. “I don’t know what I need to do to become an idol, either. I asked Kousuke, and he’s been looking things up for me, though.”

“Hmmm, for that, wouldn’t you have to go to the city?” I tried saying whatever popped into my mind. “Show business, the world inside the TV— it feels like a city thing.”

“Recently, local idols have started becoming popular too, though,” Utena remarked. “But in order to become like Hanemori Joururi, the city’s the way to go, isn’t it? Yeah, yeah. You understand, Hitomi.” Utena nodded before looking out the window at the scenery, seeming lost. She, who embraced her dreams, shouldn’t have any time to waste in this nightmare of an amusement park. She probably wants to get back as fast as she can. “If it was for my dreams,” she said, “I’d even throw away my family name.” That statement shocked me.

So she wanted to become an idol so badly that she’d be willing to throw away the status and wealth that was the envy of so many people. Was it that wonderful, the world on the other side of the TV? I did feel like if she was gonna throw it away, she might as well give it to me, though.

“I’m serious.” Utena said that clearly, even while shivering hopelessly. “I’m not just playing. This is Utena’s life, I don’t want to have even my dreams decided on by Papa.”

“You’re amazing, Utena-san. You already have a dream for your future.” I said something that was way off the point of the conversation, even for me. Utena was blessed for even being able to have a dream; I had no such options.

No. If I thought enough about it to throw my family away, the future would be filled with endless possibilities. But I probably can’t make such an important decision myself. I’ll probably just go to school as usual and graduate, before inheriting the store. I’ll become a true Denkiya. I had thought it wasn’t that unhappy a thing, though.

“That’s right. That’s why Utena doesn’t have time to waste being here. There’s a mountain of things to do. I’ve got a one-way ticket to my dreams, after all. I managed to meet Yuudai-kun.”

“Kurashima-san?” I asked. Why did he pop into the conversation here, of all places? I don’t get the connection— If I remember correctly, he said he was an actor, though. Maybe she plans to get into contact with a TV station in the city through him, or something. “I’ll be rooting for you. I really do think you have talent, after all.” This wasn’t just flattery, I meant what I said. “You’re great at singing, after all.”

“Huh?” she asked. “Did Utena ever sing in front of Hitomi?”

“No...” I explained. “Yesterday, I saw a video of you singing and dancing.”

“I didn’t sing at all yesterday,” Utena said, sounding puzzled. “I did have a dream about it, though. Maybe you saw one of the demo videos I had Kousuke take of me... Even though I told him to tell no one that Utena wanted to become an idol.” Hrm... So that video I saw yesterday in the control room was Utena’s dream, was it? Now that I think about it, Utena was sound asleep when we saw her. Why were those monitors in the control room showing her dream? I’m not surprised at anything that goes on in this mystery park anymore, though... I got the feeling that this conjecture had a huge hint in it that would help in figuring out the nature of this alternate dimension.

I peeked at someone else’s dream. No. Thinking normally, it was more likely that Kousuke threw up the demo video on the screen by accident. Like he would be walking around carrying a PC or a terminal like that, and played it by accident. But I’m not so sure; it didn’t feel like that was the case. Kousuke reacted like that was the first time he saw that video, after all.

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“Hehe,” she giggled. “But I’m happy you said that I had talent, and was good at singing.” Utena smiled and bowed, which was unlike her. “Thanks, Hitomi. You’re kind. Utena was losing her confidence, so I’m happy. Utena’s looks are plain, after all... It’s not the face of an idol, right?”

She’s right, Utena’s face was pretty average. But I don’t think all idols have to be beautiful. This is especially true recently— on TV, the idols I remember are all girls that have that close kind of feel, like the kind I would pass by in town. I’m not an expert, though, so I might be wrong.

“I’ve started hearing some awful rumors, too,” she sad sadly, “bad enough to crumble Utena’s identity. When I confessed to Kousuke and told him I liked him, I was completely rejected, too.”

“......what?” I couldn’t let that go, so I latched onto Utena’s words. “You uhh, confessed to Kousuke?” The princess of the Kagamimoris? To a normal guy, now that I think about it?

“Yeah. It looks like Utena falls in love easily. Kousuke, you know, has his parents’ situation and stuff, so it was probably inevitable. But he’s been by Utena’s side, and is nice. He’s kind and reliable, too. He’s pretty good-looking, too, don’t you think?”

Is that so... Well, I do think he’s above average. My chest is all aflutter, and I can’t think straight. Panicking, I kind of took it out on Kousuke by insulting him. “Actually, Kousuke, that guy... Who does he think he is, to reject the daughter of the Kagamimoris? There’s no way. Sorry, he’s still a child at heart.”

“Ufufu. You talk like you know, Hitomi.” Utena gave a bitter smile, looking somewhat lonely. “How do you say it, maybe the order was wrong. Utena’s an honest person so when I feel like I like someone I tell them. Kousuke, he panicked a lot when he rejected me. Like ‘sorry, I can’t,’ and stuff. He clearly denied what Utena said, that was probably the first and last time.” With affection, Utena talked about a side of Kousuke I didn’t know. “That’s why I got obsessed over him— Utena doesn’t get said no to a lot. I end up getting everything I want. Utena started caring about him the day he wouldn’t become mine even though Utena said she liked him.” So at first she confessed because she wanted to, but when she got rejected, it conversely lit a fire in her. What a troublesome, or rather, complicated, maiden’s heart this lady has.

I kind of get where she’s coming from though. You want something because you can’t have it. That might just be natural human mentality.

“That’s why Kousuke was Utena’s favorite from then on, and we were together even more. Utena even told him all her most important secrets. Like Utena’s dream of becoming an idol... He’s my best friend, although it may just be Utena who thinks that.”

“Why did Kousuke reject Kagamimori-san’s confession, I wonder?” It was a real question, I was curious. Utena’s cute, in a normal way. It’s not like it would be impossible for him physically, I think. But if that was the reason he rejected her, I was ready to abuse and slander him verbally, as a woman myself.

“It wasn’t anything unusual. He had someone else he liked.” Utena looked at me straight on, with a smile that was, somehow, very mature. “Probably, that person would be you, Hitomi. Kousuke likes Hitomi. You guys are precious childhood friends, aren’t you? He’s loved you for a long time, now. It’s like a girl’s manga, Utena was convinced when she thought of it like that.”

“No— no way, there’s no possibility of that.” For some reason, I denied that desperately. My heart was ringing like an alarm. “There’s no way... We were really small children when we got along. Until the both of us got trapped in this alternate dimension, we hadn’t even talked for years.”

“Stuff like love and dreams, they don’t just go away with time, right? That’s what Utena wants to believe. Well, all of it is Utena’s own deduction.” It probably wasn’t a fun subject for Utena, from how quickly she cut it off. Well, even if she did it lightheartedly at first, he was someone she confessed her love to... She probably didn’t want to have to say, ‘He likes you,’ to someone he might like.

No, but it’s not like... I don’t think the one Kousuke likes is me, though. I mean, he didn’t act like that at all; we’re just childhood friends. I’m absolutely shaken. I completely forgot the fact that I was in a bizarre alternate dimension, my thoughts whirling around in circles.

“Once we get out of here safely, let’s interrogate Kousuke about it,” Utena said. “They say first loves never work out, but it’s the love life of someone Utena confessed her love to, even if it was just once. Utena will cheer you on. Kousuke, and Hitomi, too, while Utena’s at it. No, no, it’s the love between both of you.” Playfully, Utena gave me a charming wink. “Hitomi, too— if possible, Utena would be happy if you cheered her on, too.” Utena was still saying something, but I couldn’t react.

“Don’t you get the feeling that we could be friends?” Flashing an incredibly charming smile, Utena suddenly stood up, and then she started talking while looking somewhere far away. “Now then, this was fun, but let’s end the talking here.”

Startled, I looked up at her. The gondola was shaking heavily, and I couldn’t remain calm. I started scratching at the surface of the seat, with nowhere to grab onto. Shelving my thoughts momentarily, I looked up at Utena. “W-what’s wrong?” I asked.

“This height should be enough.” Utena looked around at her surroundings in a circle: at the window panes, which made up a large part of the gondola, in order to let people enjoy the scenery. She glared hatefully at the bizarre scenery on the other side. While we were busy talking, the gondola had reached the top of the Ferris wheel. It was tall enough to give me vertigo; I could see the whole park from here. The park must have opened, because I could see the customers with unrecognizable faces wriggling around below, like a swarm of bugs. “I’m so sick of it... I can’t endure it anymore, this amusement park,” Utena spat, as if it was natural; suddenly, and in the blink of an eye.

“I’ll be going back first, Hitomi. Come right after, so we can talk again?” Saying those last words, Utena quickly stepped out of the entrance of the gondola. And, just like that, fell without any resistance.

“Utena-sa—” I had no idea what was going on, and could only sit there, dumbfounded. Huh, she fell? Why? An accident? But it looked like she fell out of the gondola of her own accord— what’s this? What’s going on? Panicking, I stuck my face as close to the window as I could. I looked down at the ground. Utena fell as she picked up speed. It must have been scary; she was holding her head with eyes closed. She hit the ground with a lot of momentum. It was too far away, so I heard almost no sound, but it was probable that she died instantly.

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I spent the time until the gondola reached the ground slowly running out of patience. Ever since I’ve been thrown into this amusement park slash alternate dimension, it’s just been a series of bizarre things and scary events. This time spent in the gondola, which was probably only tens of minutes, has been the most nightmarish so far.

I bit down the urge to vomit. Or rather, it feels like I’ve been vomiting this entire time. I even wanted to jump after her, to chase and reach Utena even one second faster. At the same time, I wished that she would never reach the ground. Unable to calm down, I vomited several times, but I still couldn’t bring myself to check the ground through the window again.

If only this was all just a nightmare, all of it. So I wished, but it wasn’t granted. The gondola lowered itself steadily. Eventually, it reached a point where I could jump off safely, so I stood up, trembling. I couldn’t put power into my hips, so I couldn’t walk properly, and I ended up bumping my shoulders and knees into the gondola several times. I didn’t even feel pain; I was dulled to everything.

Somehow, I managed to tumble off of the gondola by moving in a crawl. If I stayed still, I’d be stuck in the gondola for a while again, and nothing would change. There’s no point in putting it off; I can’t just let time flow past me.

Something’s off, why did this happen? “Kagamimori-san,” I croaked, and got a few steps away from the gondola. I had fallen down, completely powerless, and couldn’t move even an inch. There was a meager fence around the Ferris wheel, to keep people from getting too close. Leaning on that, I somehow managed to get myself upright.

Completely unminding of me, the Ferris wheel’s gondola passed nearby, too close for comfort, along with a dull, heavy sound. Noticing the noise without listening to it, I gathered my courage and looked forward.

There, lay the squashed form of Utena. She had fallen from a considerable height; of course there was no way she had lived. It looked like she’d fallen on her head— from her head, to her neck, to around her shoulders, all of it had been pulped and smattered. The mess that had been her blood and meat and bones was mixed together, and spread about unnaturally. Her lower half had only slightly retained shape; I could just make out a bent and broken leg, as well as her bloodstained uniform. She resembled a bug that had hit the windshield of a moving car. Her humanity— the dreams and emotions she held in her chest— all of it had been lost.

At the very least, I couldn’t understand the situation. Once night falls, her remains would surely be cleaned up by the workers of this amusement park: those giant arms. I wouldn’t be able to even come close. Should I gather up her remains, and dig a hole somewhere to bury her? I didn’t even have the guts to hold a service for her.

Averting my eyes, I hung my head. “Why—” I repeated those words over and over. Why? Why? Why? Was there a reason for Utena to jump and commit suicide? Even though just a few seconds before she walked out, we were getting along pretty well and enjoying a chat? It was almost like she had been controlled by an evil magician. It didn’t feel real— She had been the princess of our town, a protagonist of a girl who could get anything she wanted. She loved and had dreams, she had been an enviable girl who sung the praises of life. Why did she have to die? “Kagamimori-san,” I called out her name again, but of course there was no reply.

Instead, there was someone who approached me, and called out, “Is...that, Utena-chan? Uumm, Hitomi-chan?” I sat there in blank amazement. It was Kurashima. While we were riding the Ferris wheel, he should have been preparing to leave, though. It appears that he heard the sounds, and came over from the gift shop where Torii was sleeping. He was acting awfully carefree for that, though.

Kurashima’s always, always late. He’s a dunce, and never here when it counts. He must not have seen her final moments, because he didn’t seem to recognize that the corpse splattered all over the ground was Utena. Unmoved, he was just bewildered.

He walked over to me, crouched, and worriedly put a hand on my shoulder, shaking me while asking questions. “What happened? Can you explain?” I raised my head, but like a toddler, I couldn’t speak well. I almost wanted to latch onto Kurashima and cry my eyes out. I wanted to assert my powerlessness, and have someone save me. But before that, Kurashima said something that I couldn’t ignore. “This might be Kousuke’s doing, too.”

Kousuke? I don’t know why that name popped out here. Reflexively, I gave Kurashima a serious look. His doing? What was? The cause of this awful scene was Kousuke, you say? I don’t know what kind of theory he has. Kurashima must have thought I was in shock and I couldn’t speak, or something, when I sat there absent-mindedly. Without waiting for a reply, he kept speaking, saying things that I didn’t understand at all. “I had my doubts from the beginning.” Kurashima patted my head, trying to calm me down. For some reason, it felt filthy. I couldn’t breathe properly, because the smell of blood wafting off of Utena’s remains was so awful.

“Right before we found ourselves in this alternate dimension, I saw it,” Kurashima explained. “I thought it might have been a misunderstanding, though. But I saw him trying to burn Utena-chan and Torii-chan, both of whom were unconscious.”

I have no idea what he means...at all, anymore. Kousuke was? To Utena, and Torii?

“I— did I say this before...? I am just a traveler,” Kurashima went on, “who got lost and found your town. I was traveling on my motorcycle, going from place to place. It was coincidence that I came to your town.” Before I realized it, I had started crying, and Kurashima wiped those tears away. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to comfort me or tease me— it was a creepy, disgusting feeling.

“There, I met Utena-chan, you see. Apparently she took a shine to me, and wouldn’t leave me alone, though... For me, I wanted to ask her where the exit to the town was, and if there was anywhere else interesting to visit. I had planned to set that as my destination and leave immediately.” Even though I was averting my eyes, Kurashima gazed at Utena’s corpse the whole time. Our eyes didn’t meet. Not one iota of his emotions came through to me. “Utena wouldn’t tell me anything about that. But I wanted to find out, no matter what... When we split, I ran away on my motorcycle, but there was something I forgot to ask her. What was it, I wonder; was it about where I could find a gas station?” Kurashima suddenly started grumbling fast with words like ‘I forgot,’ as if the conversation was suddenly more trouble than it was worth. “In the end, I went back to the shrine I’d left Utena at... There, I found Kousuke setting fires all around Utena-chan and Torii-chan, who were unconscious. As one would expect, I couldn’t let that pass. I hurried to get there. It was a shrine, so I couldn’t ride up the steps, and I had to run.”

I don’t care about that.

“I’m not sure if my luck was bad, or my timing was bad... It’s always the same with me,” Kurashima lamented. “Just when I was asking Kousuke what he was doing, we got caught by the fire. Breathing in the smoke, my consciousness went faint, and when I came to, I was here in this amusement park.” He looked around, like this whole thing was a bother. “Good grief, what a disaster to get involved in. Well, anyway, my guess is...that Kousuke tried to kill Utena-chan and Torii-chan for some reason. Maybe there was a fight, or difficulties with love. I’m not from here, I wouldn’t know.”

Kousuke did? He tried to kill Utena and Torii? I wanted to laugh it off and say ‘That’s stupid,’ but I couldn’t. I’ve been estranged from Kousuke for a long time, now. We go to the same school, but we’ve never even talked. I didn’t even look at him from far away, I just pretended that we didn’t know each other and kept my distance. I wouldn’t know about the circumstances of those three, of what kind of relationship they’d built.

But. What Kurashima talked about, and what Kousuke said in that control room— they both have their similarities, but they don’t mesh. One of them is lying. They’re trying to gloss over something inconvenient. They’re trying to convince me forcibly of something.

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“Even in this amusement park, there are traces of Kousuke trying to go after us.” Without minding that I haven’t given any indication that I was still listening, Kurashima talked on. “The parliament building imitation and the merry-go-round were both set on fire, and weren’t you guys attacked by monsters? Those things, the living things that look like they’ve been combined with a screen, they listen to us, to an extent. Like an obedient pet.”

True, as I recall Kousuke was using that smartbug— the thing that looked like a screen combined with a bug— very easily. That part makes sense, I think. If that was the case, I wish he’d told me that sooner. If those monsters had listened to us, we might have been able to deal with them. It’s too late now, though.

Now that he mentioned it, I get the feeling that that giant monkey monster stopped assaulting Torii as soon as Utena yelled for it to. If only she’d done that earlier. At the very least, Torii would have been ok.

“He tried to kill you by provoking those monsters,” Kurashima explained. “In reality, Torii-chan was gravely wounded... It’s a miracle she’s still alive, as she was clearly attacked with intent to kill.” By Kousuke-kun, or so Kurashima kept repeating at me, filling that phrase with spite.

He was pointing Kousuke out as the culprit. “He’s just suspicious in general, he is. He keeps going off on his own; he calls it investigation but, really, I bet he’s just trying to find a chance to end us. And he’s attacked us several times already. The two of us have survived narrowly, but Torii-chan is greatly injured, and now Utena-chan is dead.”

That’s right, Utena is dead. As I thought, if you die in this dimension, you die for real. There is no salvation.

“This is just my conjecture...” Kurashima said. “But Utena-chan was tricked by Kousuke-kun. It looked like the two of them were very close friends. Whatever he says, well, she would believe it over something I said.”

Friends. It shouldn’t have been a relationship that could be summed up so easily. He doesn’t know anything.

“Utena was probably tricked by Kousuke, who was giving her false information,” Kurashima concluded.

At that point, I couldn’t stand to listen to any more. I plugged my ears.

“—told her a way to escape,” he continued. “A way to escape from this bizarre amusement park, that is... It probably went like this: ‘If you die, you’ll get out.’” That’s why she jumped to her death, or so Kurashima said.

I stood up. I looked at Kurashima vacantly. At his refreshing, attractive looks. Feminine long hair— balanced physique that I could only discern because of the riding suit that complimented his body line— An actor that came from the city, from beyond the TV.

I glared at the outsider. “Kousuke is my childhood friend.” I clearly put into words what I probably hadn’t told Kurashima yet. “That’s why, when it comes to him...I know him better than you. He’s not the awful type of person that would drive a girl who confessed to him further down into hell. He’s the type of idiot who would drag her along, care for her, and at least try to protect her.” I reached my hand out to grab Kurashima’s rider suit while he was dumbfounded. I pulled down at the zipper that ran down his body’s center line with all my strength. It wasn’t like I had any proof. I just thought, if there was any place on him to hide something disgusting, it would be there— he was reeking of blood the whole time, too.

“You’re a liar, and a killer.” I said, done using polite speech. His clothes, which had been hidden by the riding suit, were soaked with blood. The huge amount of blood, which was dried and sticky, was blackened and strange. It would’ve been fine if he had just changed, but I guess he hated the idea of putting on an unknown school uniform.

Troubled, the outsider— Kurashima, let out a bitter laugh. “You’re a stupid girl, aren’t you? More than I thought. Although you looked more clever than the other girls...”

“You don’t know me.” I pushed him away. I tried to step back a little, but I couldn’t. There was a creepy, soft sensation on the back of my head. Like I touched a marshmallow.

Timidly, I looked up. There, was the giant slug or sea slug-like thing I saw last night. There were specks all over its body, and they opened and closed bizarrely to expose its interior screens. When did it get close, I wondered. It didn’t make any sound at all, so I didn’t notice.

No. Kurashima was distracting me until it could get close. While he spoke of appropriate, but meaningless things, enough that even I felt something was wrong.

The slug dripped mucus down onto the nape of my neck, dirtying it. I found the answer to another irrelevant question: the cooking that I ate earlier with Utena and Kurashima was...probably this thing’s meat, because the texture was the exact same. When I looked, I could see traces where parts of it had been cut off around the tail end of the slug. Now that I think about it, Kurashima didn’t touch the cooking at all. I did wonder where he got the materials for the food.

The monster restricted my movements by doing its body’s equivalent of leaning over on top of me. I was basically buried under this giant slug. My back hurt like it was being toasted. Is it trying to kill me, bit by bit, with its digestive fluids? It’s a slow thing, I should be able to get away if I run, but it’s all over if I trip and fall. Kurashima probably doesn’t intend to let me get away, either. I can’t win in a chase over an older man.

This was the situation to run desperately, but before that there was something that I was curious about. “Why?” In a daze, I asked while gazing at the monster that was coming closer to me. “Why are you doing all these terrible things to us?”

“I don’t really have any feelings towards you, that’s why I was trying to convince you. I was thinking that it would be fine if I let only you live,” Kurashima said, pulling up the zipper on his suit in an easygoing fashion. “Although, it was more like it didn’t matter to me if you lived or died.” He was knocked onto his butt when I pushed him away, but he slowly stood back up. At some point, he had pulled out a large knife. There was some blood stuck on it. He didn’t talk about his thoughts like a villain from some cheap detective novel. He just bared his intent to kill me without any explanation.

It’s to be expected; I’m neither a policewoman nor am I a famous detective. In terms of roles, I’d be a minor or supporting role with nothing to do with the main plot— a victim, at best. I wouldn’t be able to get him to kindly reveal his circumstances. He just wants to quickly take care of me before moving on to the next step.

■CHANNEL37■

“You’re such a stupid girl, Hitomi-chan. It would’ve been fine if you’d just honestly believed me, like Utena did. But I’m surprised. Haha, to think that she actually jumped off.” Kurashima gave a sidelong glance toward the remains of Utena, which remained scattered off to the side. “As expected, that hurt my heart a little, because I’m not really a murderer. It’s stressful, you know, to trick and kill girls. That girl, she said she wanted to become an idol. She was really happy when I said I’d introduce her to a major production company.” Kurashima put the knife to my neck. He probably doesn’t want to dirty his own hands— he’d avoid it if he could. I understand, I hate it, too. I guess he plans to leave my murder to the giant slug; he’s just making sure I don’t manage to run away.

Wiping away the mucus and my own tears, I stared at Kurashima. I understood. Ah, so it was like that. Utena was serious. She was trying to pursue her dream earnestly, with all her might. When someone offered mediation to help grant her dreams, she pushed forward unhesitatingly. Torii, Kousuke, and even Utena herself, had said that she fell in love easily. So Utena had fallen in love at first sight with Kurashima, who has good looks... She wasn’t a stupid girl in love, who would believe anything her partner said. Because she had a dream she chased after dearly.

She believed in Kurashima’s halfhearted explanation. To try and escape by dying; it must have been so scary for her. Eyes closed and trembling, she jumped to her death, because she wanted to be an idol like who she said her mother was, Hanemori Joururi. For that, she was prepared to throw away everything and push forward. Her dream ended here, in the hands of unreasonable malice.

Of course, I don’t have the qualifications to blame Kurashima one-sidedly. I just decided that our town’s princess was unapproachable... Right up until the end, I was stupidly formal, using that excuse to keep my distance from her. Basically, we never even talked.

If only I’d faced her properly. If only I’d opened up my heart, and talked without hiding anything. She should have been able to realize that she was being tricked by Kurashima. We should’ve been able to change this tragedy, this ending with no salvation in sight. To think that you could escape by dying. Such an idiotic evil should have been wiped away.

But it’s too late to regret now. Utena had jumped, and died in a pulpy mess. I’m alive— but what can I even do? How do I turn this situation around? No. Even if, right this instant, a miracle happened, and both Kurashima and the giant slug were thrown off of me... Even if I survived, what would come of it? I have nothing, nothing... I’m different from Utena, I just live every day passively. My life was a boring one. I was just rotting away slowly. She had dreams, fell in love, cried, laughed, and got mad— just like a storybook protagonist. Compared to Utena, who faced her life with all her might and then died, what does it matter if I survive?

My heart felt like it was going to break. I was going to stop caring about everything. Lying face down, I felt powerless— and then I realized that something in my pocket was shivering. Caressing it, it felt a little like something I recognized. Suffering, and feeling the pressure of the giant slug that was glued to my back, I cowered. And so Kurashima wouldn’t be able to notice, I checked on the shivering thing.

“What’s wrong? Sorry, just think of it as your bad luck, and give up.” Seeing me all curled up, Kurashima made a troubled face. “You really are completely unrelated, aren’t you?”

“Kurashima-san.” I immediately turned back, pretending that nothing had happened— and I looked at Kurashima. “What you talked about earlier, it wasn’t about Kousuke... I think it was about you, Kurashima-san. But there’s something I don’t quite understand.” Acting inappropriately calm, even for me, I asked, even though I wasn’t really interested. “Why are you trying to kill Kagamimori-san— no, all of us? What’s your motivation? What kind of relation do you have to us?”

“You might not know,” he said, “but a long time ago, there was a person named Hanemori Joururi.”

There’s that name again. Who the heck is she? She’s an idol and Utena’s mother, or at least, Utena said that she was. If I had known that I was going to be involved with that name this much, I would have paid more attention to the TV. Even though I did remember seeing her name on TV, somewhere. But, thinking that it had nothing to do with my life, I let it go. I’m regretting that now.

“Someone had their life messed up by her. This is revenge for that, I hope. That’s why, truly, you have nothing to do with this, but...I can’t let you live so that you can testify to what I did here. Incidentally, I’ll be ending you now— sorry?” As I thought, Kurashima was looking at me remorsefully. It seems he had no other option— really, why am I about to be killed by this guy? Of course, the situation started moving before I was able to understand it.

“If you’re gonna say, ‘Sorry,’ then don’t do it in the first place.” At the same time I heard that sudden voice, there was also the sound of a light blow being landed. Before I realized it, Kousuke had snuck up behind Kurashima, and hit him with a small portable TV. Who knows where he managed to find that, though. Kurashima fell to the side without a word, and my childhood friend hit him, over and over again, while he was helpless.

You’re late, I thought, though he did look just a bit like a Tokusatsu hero, though.

■CHANNEL38■

Just like when we were little, I walked while carrying Kousuke on my back.

In the past, when Kousuke was too exhausted to move after we’d been playing around in the fields...I’d carry him, just like this, because I was taller than he was, back then.

But now, he’s already passed me in both height and weight. Our physiques are different, so I can’t carry him on my back properly. Kousuke’s feet are left dragging and scraping on the floor. It seems he can’t walk on his own anymore.

Kousuke was soaked in blood. After he summoned the last of his strength and beat Kurashima, who was trying to kill me, black and blue, he fell over. He didn’t move after that. I don’t know if he’s dead or alive right now.

Carrying Kousuke, I headed for the park’s exit: the gates. Every step is hard. My uselessly grown childhood friend. My movements are sluggish, and my thoughts paralyzed. If I lost focus, I don’t even think I’d be able to remember what I was trying to do.

That’s right. We need to escape from this bizarre amusement park— this dimension. I should have already set that as my goal. I walk. My breath hitches in my throat and I stop, before willing myself to walk again. Step by step, I move forward.

“Kousuke,” I called out to him, but there was no response. Turning all the breath in my lungs to energy, I said nothing more and moved forward. For the time being, I figured out where the gates were when I was riding the Ferris wheel. I should be going in the right direction.

My surroundings were crowded and unrelated to me: the horde of faces I can’t recognize; jaunty music; the many attractions, incessantly moving. A fun, but distant atmosphere— I can’t afford to care. It has nothing to do with me. Right now, I just want to return to my own life, which was boring and flat.

It might be because the monotonous work of walking had left my brain bored, but my thoughts were restored a little, and I started thinking of things unchecked. From the information I had gathered without actually trying to do so, I made conjectures: Kurashima was trying to kill us. He said it was revenge for someone who got their life messed up by Hanemori Joururi... His murderous intent was probably pointed towards that girl, Utena. A lot of things had already been taken care of before I got to ask for details, so I’m not too sure. He probably tried to kill Utena with a knife at an unpopular shrine; the blood soaked into his clothes under the riding suit was probably splatter from that.

As for Torii, I’m not sure of the details, but she must have stumbled onto the scene of the crime or something similar, and then got caught up in it. According to Kousuke, he saw Torii and Kurashima arguing, after all. Either she was trying to protect Utena from being killed, or she saw Utena wounded and, enraged, bit into Kurashima. It became an argument, and then a fight— but in terms of pure power, Torii would never be able to win against Kurashima. The tables were turned, and Torii fell under assault from Kurashima. I’m not sure if she was killed, wounded, or knocked unconscious, though.

And I’m not sure if Kurashima set the fires to take care of the bodies, or if something completely unrelated happened and the fire was natural, but the fact remains that there was a fire. Kousuke came along after that, and he stepped inside to try and save Torii and Utena, and possibly even Kurashima, because he’s a softie who wants to be a hero. He probably couldn’t just leave people caught in a fire to die, either.

And in the end he, too, was killed by the fire. What an idiot, Kousuke. Well, right next to the shrine that was on fire was...me, who dozed off while manning the store. Apparently I failed to escape, and as a result, was caught in the fire, too— I look like the bigger idiot, though.

In that way, all of us who were in that fire found ourselves here in this dimension, for some reason. Thinking simply, isn’t this alternate dimension probably some world after death, just like I had hypothesized at one point? As for what this place is, and why we found ourselves in this bizarre space... Of course, it’s outside of my ability to imagine.

Kurashima’s objective was probably the death of Utena. He looked for a chance, and then came after us. He gathered us all in the parliament-like building, and probably set fire to it to try to burn us all to death at once. And later he provoked the monsters, trying to get them to eat us. At the end, he tricked Utena into committing suicide. He even went after me. It’s not like I can confirm it, though. I didn’t have that kind of margin... But he had probably already killed Torii, who wasn’t able to ride the Ferris wheel with us. There were any number of ways to do it if he wanted to, after all.

And the biggest eyesore to Kurashima was probably Kousuke, who, for some reason, insisted on acting alone. I don’t know what he was thinking when he moved away from everybody else— this is all unknown to me. Maybe he simply wanted to have some adventure time without being bothered by girls? In order to finish him off, Kurashima set another fire over the underground control room he was in. I guess I was just an extra. But we managed to survive it safely.

However, Kurashima didn’t give up there. He probably tried to kill Kousuke again sometime over the course of the night. After Kousuke applied first aid to Torii, he was standing guard. Kurashima lured him out, somehow, and stabbed him with the knife. Kousuke’s a regular high schooler, too. If he gets ambushed, he probably wouldn’t be able to resist. Like that, he believed that Kousuke was dead— and in the morning, Kurashima had rejoined us. Although he’d said Kousuke told him to stand guard after they’d swapped places, Kurashima was just saying that; it wasn’t like Kousuke actually told him to do so. Both Torii and I had swallowed that lie whole.

Just like that, Kurashima probably planned to kill us all, but Kousuke had clung to life stubbornly. Stabbed, with damaged innards, leaking so much blood... In reality, he was very nearly dead. It was likely that Kurashima wasn’t a professional killer, or anything. He probably just left Kousuke somewhere, thinking him dead already. Kousuke applied emergency treatment to himself, and managed to preserve his life.

And just a while ago, while I was being attacked by Kurashima and the giant slug, I let the smartbug fly. He’d secretly slipped the smartbug into my pocket. On the screen, he wrote instructions to be careful of Kurashima.

Like he’s so great. I just talked at random to distract Kurashima, and I managed to trick him so he wouldn’t notice Kousuke— who was near death with his grave wounds— and could only move sluggishly as he approached.

It went well. Kousuke squeezed out the last of his power, and hit Kurashima with the TV. He saved me, but that was his limit. He’d lost too much blood. I knew that Kousuke was probably already dead. I can feel him growing colder on my back; both his heartbeats and breathing have already stopped. This is just meat that used to be my childhood friend. But, I couldn’t just throw it away.

Kurashima’s probably not dead. He was beaten up badly, but he might still recover; I can’t afford to take it easy, here. I should have finished him off. Putting that off was Kurashima’s last mistake, too. But, I feel like Kousuke would be sad if I killed a person.

That’s wrong. That’s just an excuse. I’m just stroking the surface, letting it pass; I don’t have the guts to stick my hand into the deep end. I just didn’t want to shoulder a sin as heavy as murder. Putting on a face as if it had nothing to do with me— I simply didn’t want to do what I didn’t want to do. I’m running again, trying to draw distance. I’m trying to escape this dimension, and make it all like it never happened.

But what else should I do? Someone like me is the only one left alive. What should I do, I wonder... Right now, I just want to hurry up and go back while still dragging Kousuke along, if possible. I don’t think we’d be in time for medical aid; he got stabbed in the guts, after all. It’s a fatal wound, but I want him to have a funeral, at least. If that’s the case, I’d want to bring along Utena and Torii, too, but carrying Kousuke alone is already this hard.

“Hey, Kousuke.” Without expecting a reply, I asked the corpse of my childhood friend. “The person you liked; who was it? You rejected Kagamimori-san’s confession, didn’t you? You said it was because you had someone else you liked—” I drew closer to the gates, and the noise of the crowd went far away. It’s just an entrance and an exit; there’s no attractions near here, and the faceless crowd is basically mute. It was awfully quiet, and the sounds of my heavy breathing echoed loudly. “It would’ve been nice if it was me. I liked you, just a bit, for a long time, now. But it’s probably not, right? I bet it’s someone I don’t know. I’ll go back and tell that person properly for you. She’ll probably just be confused, though.” My monologue echoed hollowly in this very strange alternate dimension.

“There was a stupid boy who admired heroes... He was my childhood friend, though. I wanted to tell him: ‘Your dream came true at the end, you were just a little bit cool, there.’” There are no tears, anymore. Just endlessly putting my feet forward, I headed outside, without looking back.

■CHANNEL39■

My worst fears came true. Carrying Kousuke on my back, I went to this bizarre amusement park’s admission gates— the place where we believed we could escape from— and left the park. After walking for a few minutes, though, I collapse right then and there. On the floor, I hung my head in defeat, feeling Kousuke’s unusually heavy weight on my back.

The amusement park’s surroundings were just empty wasteland. Cracked and dried earth, spreading out endlessly; I could see nothing, stretching all the way out to the horizon. Actually, it’s almost refreshing, and I was put into a happy mood. “Ahaha,” I laughed like my head’s gone a little strange. Of course, I wasn’t that hopeful of such a simple, game-like salvation as just heading through the admission gates to escape. From the gondola of the Ferris wheel, I saw distantly, from a high vantage point, the scenery outside of the amusement park. I didn’t want to believe it; that, even if we left the amusement park, it was just more of this other dimension. That there was no leaving, no salvation... But right in front of me, and all around, the truth was made clear— I had no choice but to admit that I was out of options.

My heart broke, and I sank into despair. Even though I was thinking of what to do after, after I escaped... First, I’d want to take a bath and change clothes. How would I explain things to Kousuke’s, Utena’s, and Torii’s families, I wonder? How troublesome. Would mom and dad have already come back from the city?

It seems I was involved in a fire. What should I do if the house is burned down? Where would I live, what would I do about tonight’s dinner— what was the schedule for school tomorrow? I was thinking of those things at length, but all of it was blown away in an instant. I can’t think of anything, anymore. I can’t move, either. After laughing, I started to cry .

“Kousuke,” I sobbed. I draw myself closer to Kousuke, who I still had on my back. He’s completely a corpse now. His ashen skin was as inhuman as the CRT TV screens I was pushed up against when I first came to this alternate dimension. I stroked his hair with my fingers— If I do that, Kousuke can’t defy me— that’s why.

“Kousuke— Kousuke, Kousuke...” Wake up. Come back to life. Talk to me, don’t leave me alone... Save me, please. I hate this. I hate this. I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to go back; I want to go back home. I want to see mom and dad. I’m tired already. I’m sick of this, it’s too much. I can’t stand living here for even one more second.

“WHAT THE HELL’S GOING ON?!” Suddenly, I heard a singing voice. Unrelated to me, it was an awfully one-sided and unreasonable singing voice. Just listening to it makes me feel worse. I feel like it’s ridiculing me; am I that funny? I’ve lost any place I had to go. I’m talking to the corpse of my childhood friend. Could someone find these things funny and laughably stupid? I hope they die. It’s making me awfully angry and irritated. Ahh, Utena might just have chosen the right way to get out of here, I thought. I should’ve died. If I died, it would have been over; everything would have been over. But, I’m still alive. That’s why, reflexively, I looked over at the voice.

“CAN SOMEONE TELL ME PLEASE—” There, were a lot of TVs, fallen over like they were rolled out. Outdated CRT TVs, as well as thin flat-screens and portable types... All types of TVs were lying about everywhere. Most of them had dark screens, but there were also some showing static, and others playing random shows of all different kinds. Like a garbage dump, several of those TVs were piled together to form a small mountain.

I start to make conjectures, although I can’t really see any point in thinking anymore. From yesterday’s events, I can vaguely understand.

“—WHY I’M SWITCHING CHANNELS FASTER THAN THE CHANNELS ON TV—” It’s the same as when I first found myself in this dimension. The giant worker arms that seemed to be cleaning up the amusement park: they picked up garbage cans, among other things, but they were rough in handling things, so they would drop stuff all over the place. And, for some reason, the stuff they pick up happens to be TVs a lot of the time... The things that dropped have been blown around and gathered here. They’ve been dropped from a long ways up, so most of them are broken; they’ve all got damage, like cracks down the screen, or dents in places.

From those TVs, the most intact ones, or the ones that looked the cutest, were gathered and piled together. There wasn’t any real meaning to the collection, much like a child who picks up rocks or pretty glass pieces and shells by the roadside. A small child’s treasure, who would forget about it in a day given the chance. Adults wouldn’t be able to find value in it, a mountain of junk... Sitting at the top of it was a single girl, who looked like she was having fun while singing. “I’M black THEN I’M white, NO!!!” She spread her arms, then lowered them again in exaggerated motions. Then she looked straight at me, who looked miserable and wretched. She was just watching, like she was killing time. Her mouth was twisted in the shape of a smile.

It was like looking into a mirror of myself when I was working at the store, watching a fairly pleasant TV show without really paying attention. Was I making the same face, I wondered? I don’t know why, but I became awfully uneasy. I’m not a TV show, to be broadcast for someone else’s amusement.

“SOMETHING ISN’T RIGHT!!” she sang out, and I was surprised enough to forget my discomfort. The one singing on top of a mountain of TVs— no matter how I looked at her, she was Torii, with black hair which was unkempt and unstyled. Her spine was stretched straight, so she looked huge. She was wearing my school’s uniform, too, only it was clean. For some reason, her neck was tilted oddly. And yet her hair was drooping downwards, obeying the laws of gravity. Because of that, her lovely features, which were usually hidden, were now on full display. Was Torii always this beautiful? She was like a different person. No, clearly she’s acting strangely.

Torii should have been heavily wounded, enough that she couldn’t move. We gave her emergency treatment with stuff like towels, and put her broken right arm into a splint. But from what I’m seeing, Torii isn’t injured at all. There aren’t even any scars; she’s clean.

It’s as if Torii had been born just now, looking as she did. In the first place, she was almost mortally wounded; there’s no way she’d be able to move. Why is she in a place like this, I wonder? Why is she singing? I don’t understand! Or rather, I was almost certain that she had been killed off by Kurashima while we were on the Ferris wheel. I decided that on my own, and because of that didn’t actually check. I’m an awful person. And she said I was a kind girl...

That’s wrong, I realized. That’s not it. Something is strange. Chills ran down my spine. I’m looking at something unnatural; my instincts were ringing alarms. That’s no good. I shouldn’t get involved with that thing. At the same time, I felt a very familiar sensation.

It wasn’t because she was Torii. I never even talked to her at school. It was that, ever since I found myself in this dimension, I’d been feeling someone’s gaze the whole time. Someone was watching me, that was the feeling I’d gotten. Eventually I got used to it and forgot, and the sensation stopped rising to the surface of my thoughts. From the beginning to the end, she was— this thing was— watching me, I think, without any real curiosity. Its gaze was just absentmindedly bored, like it had nothing else to do... That was how it appeared now; it looked listless.

■CHANNEL40■

“You’re—” Gently, I lay Kousuke down, and mussed at his hair one last time. Alone, I headed towards the mountain of TVs. It wasn’t far; I got there just by walking a bit. I looked up. “What? Who are you? Torii-san...?” Confused and anxious, I questioned it like an infant.

The thing that looked like Torii tilted its head even further. I didn’t feel like my words were getting through— this feeling, I remember it. “TV girl?” Impulsively, I spoke her name. That thing looked like a girl and a TV combined, I’ve encountered several times while in this alternate dimension. She was probably the same as the smartbug and the giant slug... I had thought that they were probably monsters that lived inside the amusement park, though. Apparently, its condition is strange, because we’re outside of the amusement park... And she looks like Torii. I waited a bit, but there was no response so I got impatient... It was the moment I opened my mouth again to speak.

“Ahh, right... Yeah, somehow, I understand,” said the girl, using Torii’s voice.

I didn’t actually think she’d reply, so I stepped back, startled. It looks like I established dialogue with the person inside the TV screen. “Uhh, you’re Torii-san, right?” I asked uncertainly.

“It’s been so long, I can’t remember clearly...” she mused. “Ah, that’s right. It’s like this, yeah. I get it. It’s fine. Wait a bit, even if you say that there might not be anything I can do about it, though.” She was speaking somewhat brokenly, saying stuff that didn’t fit into a single conversation. It was like trying to pull on the antenna to fix things somehow when the signal for your TV is bad... She was making unfathomable movements, bending her arms and fingers around. Eventually, she looked at me again, her neck still bent at an angle. “It’s been a while since I’ve last had a conversation, really... It’s bothersome, after all. When you say TV girl, do you mean me? The people I met before called me PRIMADONNA, though.”

Primadonna? Ballet? I felt like our conversations weren’t meshing at all, and I became a little scared. I don’t want to have to talk to somebody who I can’t properly communicate with. It’s creepy.

“This is called, ‘Torii-san,’ you say?” She patted her body over and over, grumbling mysteriously. “Ahh, it’s fine. Even if you don’t answer the question, I understand. I borrowed this child’s body, for a bit.” She shifted into a posture that was as close as she could get to lying sprawled out on the mountain of TVs; what bad manners.

This impostor with the face of Torii— probably the TV girl— continued to talk unilaterally. “This is mine,” she said, “but there’s not much life left in it anymore... It’s going to die soon, so I can’t talk for long. So please don’t ask too many questions, okay?”

She’ll die soon. Certainly, Torii was heavily wounded, although I had thought that Kurashima finished her off already. Murder is incredibly stressful. Maybe he left her alone because he thought if he did she’d die eventually, anyway. And the TV girl is controlling Torii, who’s in that state?

Yawning, Torii turned away. The outside is the same, but the insides have been switched out. I guess it’s like she’s possessed, or something? This far outstrips my understanding, though. But at the very least, I can kind of talk to her. At the merry-go-round, the fires avoided TV girl. Could she possibly be someone important in this amusement park? Or something like that, maybe. If I negotiate well enough, she might be willing to let me outside. At the very least, I can stop being stuck, battered in this wasteland.

She told me not to ask her too many questions, but I couldn’t endure it and shouted, “What are you? What is this place? Hey, please tell me! What was that stuff, it’s cruel, I hate this! Get me home, let me out of here!”

“Be quiet... Don’t fuss, I’ll get you home properly.” Frowning at the noise, Torii made a gesture, like she was plugging her ears. It was as if she was a scolded child. “That amusement park, it’s like a feeding ground. A small world, made for us to eat you, like a dining table. When you die in your world, you guys get thrown into this— our world.” She talked brokenly about stuff that I found hard to understand. “This time, it’s an amusement park by chance. Depending on our tastes, as well as the people thrown in, the feeding grounds change. In one part of this world that stretches on infinitely, a limited dining table is built, and then appropriately managed until all those inside are eaten.”

“So this place is, as I thought... A world after death, or something like that?” I guessed. So if we die, we don’t go to heaven or hell— we go to this baffling alternate dimension. No, is this place heaven and/or hell? The world after death? There, the dead are devoured by bizarre monsters. I had thought that we weren’t the intended audience for this amusement park, but to think we were simply feed... So we were just like popcorn, or ice cream, or other foods that would be sold in an amusement park.

As one would expect, I wasn’t able to keep my cool, and Torii was watching me, with her head still tilted to the side. “You guys do that, too, right? Put a bug in a cage, and watch it until it dies?” she asked. “You call this ‘raising it.’ Or something like that, probably. It’s no fun if I just eat you straight away, you know? Although sometimes I fight and play with you.” She said something disgusting as if it was to be expected. “There are also times I just eat them quickly, too. This time, just a liiittle bit...I rewound, and threw you guys into the cage in a healthy state. Well, in the end, you guys didn’t really kill each other much, and mostly just sat still so it was boring, though.”

“What do you mean, ‘rewound?’” I felt some hope at the way she said it, so I endured the creepiness and asked. “Like, healing wounds? Or, reviving someone? If that’s the case, please, Kagamimori-san, Kousuke, and Torii are... Put them back the way they were! Bring them back to life, please!” Kurashima was the one who almost killed me, so honestly, there is a part of me that wants him to die already, but...I had hope that maybe we could go home without losing anything, with no one dying, if those things that were like a TV and a living thing mixed together had supernatural powers.

At the same time, I somehow understood that we were rewound just a little... It isn’t clear how rewinding actually works, though. For example, if we were rewound to the time just before we were caught in the fire... If our memories were rewound, too.

Various things start falling into place. I only remembered up until being bored in the store. The others also, at the shrine, Utena and Torii were attacked by Kurashima... Perhaps, if they were killed by him, they would have remembered that. If so, they would probably have been more wary of Kurashima. Even Utena probably wouldn’t have believed what Kurashima said, and have jumped.

We were rewound and lost various things, forgetting about them. That’s why we started from building up our relationships, with something easygoing like self-introductions. All because of a dumb reason like, ‘It’s more fun to watch if they’re healthy.’

■CHANNEL41■

“I can’t. I can’t rewind someone whose death has already been decided. I only rewound you a little because it would have been more fun to watch if you were healthy and moving around. In the end, you’ll be eaten by us. That’s already been decided.” Torii put up her right arm, and stroked the surface of it. The arm, which should have been broken, had probably been restored by rewinding.

“I don’t like pain... So I temporarily rewound this girl,” the TV girl explained. “I wanted to talk to you, after all. In order to do that I had to borrow this girl’s body, or rather, her brain, because it’s impossible if I don’t borrow her capacity for language. Once I’m done, I’m going to put her back to the instant she dies. You could say she’s already dead, and I can’t overturn that.” It was a clear refusal. I had no choice but to be dejected. Even if I threw a fit here, these transcendental beings probably wouldn’t empathize and save them, even on a whim.

They’re predators, and we’re food, so I can’t demand something as if I’m important. I should probably just be thankful that I can talk with her like this, because there aren’t many humans that would talk to a bug with love. She’s just talking one-sidedly, and making it look like a dialogue. No matter how hard I will it, the tale being shown on the TV screen won’t change.

There was that kind of separation. There was a distance, and I didn’t have the means to cross over it. There’s a part of me that can’t give up, but I did feel that it would be fruitless. No matter how much a bug cries, humans would probably only scowl.

“It’s already decided who will eat who,” TV girl explained. “This girl is mine. The others are for someone else to eat. I can’t do as I like to someone else’s food.” “You’re all, what? By the others, you mean— like that giant monkey, and that slug?” Those monsters that looked like a fusion of living thing and TV, and that shared a similar aura. A strange ecosystem that I can’t understand seems to have been formed in this alternate dimension.

Torii must have gotten tired of talking; she didn’t even try to hide her annoyed behavior. “Nnn~... the ‘Winged Bug’ is in charge of ‘Mishiro Kousuke,’ over there. The ‘Slug’ is in charge of that, you know, ‘Kurashima Yuudai.’ The ‘Monkey’ has ‘Kagamimori Utena.’ Everybody has their own meal. That was the agreement. I’m in charge of this one, ‘Saba Torii.’”

I was convinced by that explanation. Kurashima said that the monsters that were a combination of TV and living thing, were low on intelligence, and were like obedient pets that would listen to orders. But he’s wrong, it’s the opposite; those monsters were in charge of each of us, and they were moving us around, playing.

They weren’t listening to our orders— they were amused by them, and had decided to grant our wishes. Like a person going, ‘You’re hopeless,’ as he drips honey for a hungry bug. If we went too far or soured their mood, they’d probably have crushed us without mercy. In other words, they were playing with us and pitting us against each other. They treated us like chess pieces, moving us by provoking us in different ways... They were playing, and just happened to help us as a result. They fiddled with us for fun, and watched and laughed at us as we moved around in confusion.

The monsters were higher up on the ladder. It’s not like I was given an explanation about that, though. It’s all stuff that we guessed at after searching around on our own. Well, apart from Kousuke and Kurashima... We had no way of knowing that there were players moving us. Of course, we hadn’t even imagined that we were being used.

But, if I’m remembering correctly, that giant monkey listened to Utena. It was because that thing was in charge of her. When she screamed for it to stop, it stopped its assault on Torii, no matter how reluctantly. And the reason it attacked her in the first place, was because Utena expressed her displeasure at Torii for hugging her while they slept, and she wished for her to disappear, I guess. Somehow, the pieces are falling into place.

Even Kousuke and Kurashima had never imagined the ghastly plan that was happening, and only got as far as thinking of the monsters as something that would listen to them. Aside from those boys, who enjoyed these game-like aspects, we girls hadn’t come close to figuring it out, either.

That we were only food, playthings, and insects. I didn’t want to imagine it, much less know.

“But— TV girl, you’re in charge of Torii-san, right? Why were you always watching me...?” That was something I was a little stuck on; I don’t remember the TV girl being that proactively involved in playing with us. That’s why Torii, who she was supposed to be in charge of, was left alone with no protection at all. She was hit by another player, the monkey, and heavily wounded.

“I don’t really like this boy’s game.” The monster wearing Torii’s face played with her fingers, looking bored. “More than that, it was more fun to watch you. Although it was only at the level where it wasn’t boring... You weren’t supposed to be here in the first place, after all.”

What’s that supposed to mean? Unable to figure out what she meant, I was confused.

“The other ones are all dead,” TV girl said. “That’s why they came to this world. But you aren’t dead at all, yet. However, something got mixed up, and you came here with them. Sometimes, that sort of thing happens... Were you close by when the others died?”

Aahh, I sighed. What the heck? I really was someone completely unrelated. From Kousuke and Kurashima’s stories, the other girls were there, but there had been no mention of me. I just happened to have been Kousuke’s childhood friend, and also from the same school as the others.

From the perspective of connection, I was apart. That was because I really was unrelated from the start. Because I was in my home, which was right next to the shrine where the fire was, I got caught in it...and just found myself in this alternate dimension. The fact that I cried, got hurt, and found myself in tatters seems stupid now.

Once again, I can feel laughter welling out of me. The monster twisted her lips into the form of a smile, like it was imitating me. “That’s why you can go back to your world,” she told me, “because no one is in charge of you.”

At those words, I stopped my laughter and looked up at her. I can go back? I can escape, from this dimension? “The boys were saying that the last one alive after they all kill each other... That the winner would get you as a prize, that was the plan. They were all excited. But if they eat two, then their stomachs won’t hold, and I feel sorry for you, too.” She said something that was unlike a monster, probably on a whim.

That logic had a child’s innocence to it. There were parts that were hard to understand, but I didn’t think that way. She simply took pity on an insect that had gotten caught in a trap, even though it had nothing to do with it... It was like trying to quietly let one of the insects out of the cage.

“The boys will probably complain. But the only ones alive right now are the girl I’m in charge of, and that Kurashima guy the snail is in charge of. Well, that guy is the one closer to death... After this, I’m going to control this girl and kill him.” She talked like it was a chore. “And then it’ll be my win. As the winner, what I do with my prize is up to me; both to eat or to let free. That’s why I’ll let you go, and you’ll be able to get out of here.” The girl hit one of the TVs near her lightly, with her palm; static ran across its screen. It showed a small, bare room that reminded me of the control room. It’s an unfamiliar interior, and I wonder where it is.

While I was watching it, the door to the small room opened, and a woman, whose face had gone pale, entered. She was wearing work clothes. I don’t remember her— no, I have a feeling I know this woman. I feel like I’ve seen her somewhere. Searching through my memories, I was astonished. The postcard that Utena showed me in the gondola of the Ferris wheel...

“I don’t know where this is,” TV girl said, “but it’s your world. Go back from this screen. Be as fast as possible, okay...? I’m getting this girl, so I’m satisfied for now, but I don’t know what I’ll do if I get hungry. I’ve had my eye on this girl for a looong time now.” Preciously, the monster caressed her own— Torii’s— flesh, like a small child showing off a rare bug they found on the side of the road.

“MY ENEMY’S INVISIBLE, I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT” From the back of her throat, her singing voice overflowed. “THE TREMBLING FEAR IS MORE THAN I CAN TAKE” She sang neatly, with enumerated sounds. “WHEN I’M UP AGAINST THE ECHO IN THE MIRROR” Singing those bizarre and obtuse phrases, she laughed sweetly. “A long time ago...I heard it from far away. This song, from the other side of the TV. I was bored, just letting the days pass by me. It comforted my heart. It was my only pleasure, and this child gave it to me.” The monster— whom I’d met in an alternate dimension— smiled happily. “That singing voice echoes inside me, even now, inside my stomach. That’s why I’m fine, even if I don’t eat a lot. That’s why, I’m letting you go.”