Isla

When I woke up this morning, my nervousness kicked into high gear, but beneath it all there was something else…another feeling…something uncomfortably close to excitement…or maybe it was just indigestion.

I know it would be foolish to be excited, to get my hopes up that this will be anything more than another disappointing reminder that I don’t belong.

I spent over an hour trying to convince myself that I should just stay home, but my wolf, Ivy, was persistent and I know she misses being around others of our kind. She’s the only reason I decide to give this whole thing a try.

Pushing all thoughts of the many ways this might go wrong aside, and there are so many ways, I get dressed in one of the last clean pairs of pants I have left, black jeans, and a clean shirt, that’s also black, then pull my unruly, long black curls into a high ponytail before slipping on my boots.

I catch my reflection in the dusty mirror over my dresser and nearly laugh at how pale my skin looks thanks to my dark hair and all black attire.

The walk to the border seems to take longer than usual, but, as promised, the guard is waiting there for me with a bright smile on his face. This time there are three other guards there with him that I’ve never seen before and while they look curious about the weird, purple eyed rogue approaching the border, I see no hostility or judgement from any of them.

I finally cross the stream, but stop just before my feet can touch the border.

“I was wondering if you were going to come. I honestly thought you might’ve changed your mind.” His tone is laced with amusement, but I can see in his eyes that his comment is true. I guess I’m not as good at projecting confidence as I’d like to think I am.

“That makes two of us. I’ve been telling myself that this is a terrible idea…but I guess I’m a glutton for punishment, or maybe I’m just really hungry.” His amused expression quickly mixes with a heavy dose of sympathy, but he doesn’t even know the half of what I’ve been through, so he can’t truly sympathize with my situation. If I have my way, no one will ever know what I’ve faced in my past.

“Well, whatever the reason, I’m glad you decided to come. Alright, let’s go, you’ve been given full clearance by the alpha and luna.” He waits patiently as I wage my internal battle until, finally, I take the first step, officially crossing the border. Part of me is waiting for them to attack, but they all remain in the same position, eyes watching, but calm.

“So, just how big is this pack anyway?” The way he’s watching me, I can tell he’s waiting for me to bolt the second he delivers his answer. It’s a valid concern since I was already reviewing all the reasons I should bolt before I even made it to the border.

“Four hundred and sixty, just over that actually.” Bolting definitely sounds like a viable option. Over four hundred and sixty wolves and I’m seriously considering just waltzing in there to have dinner with them? Damn, I must be losing my mind.

“I didn’t get your name.” His eyes are dancing with amusement as he chuckles softly and shakes his head. I don’t know if he’s laughing at my comment, or if it’s the way my voice pitched a little as I said it…maybe both?

“No, no you didn’t. My name is Ethan and this is Mark, Paul and Tyler.” Their names sound so unexpectedly…normal. It’s not like I thought they’d have sinister names or anything, but I didn’t think they’d be so average and unassuming.

“I’m Isla.” I add an awkward wave, you know, in case I wasn’t already being weird enough.

“It’s nice to officially meet you, Isla. Come on, let’s get going. If we don’t get there when they start serving the food, all the good stuff will be gone. You’d think we’re all a bunch of starving beasts with the way we eat around here.” Ethan’s amused tone makes it impossible for me not to smile as I let him lead the way through the woods to the packhouse.

It’s early yet, too early to truly make a decision about these wolves, but Ethan doesn’t seem too bad…so far.

The walk takes fifteen minutes, but when the large, three-story cabin style mansion comes into view, it was so worth it. Black Claw’s packhouse was nice, but this place is stunning and modern.

As we walk around the side of the house, I can hear the thundering of loud voices and laughter which has my nervousness returning full force while my senses are overwhelmed by the scents of all the different wolves combined with the smell of meat cooking on the grills.

“Ethan, who’s your guest?” The female voice startles me, but not as much as the kindness of her tone. I know damn well these wolves can tell by my scent that I’m a rogue, yet every set of eyes that fall on me shine with nothing but curiosity.

“Hi, Lisa. This is Isla. Isla, this is Lisa, our pack’s historian.” She holds out her hand to me and I hesitate for a few seconds before placing mine in it for a brief handshake.

“It’s wonderful to meet you, Isla.” I give her a nervous smile and nod, but can’t offer a real response before Ethan places a hand between my shoulder blades and guides me further into the crowd.

Every wolf we pass looks at me as we walk by, but they just look curious and that…well…it’s something I don’t really know how to handle.

“Ethan! I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Where the hell were you…wait…who’s that?” Now this female’s tone is one I’m all too used to…disapproval with more than a hint of disgust. Her tone is the same one used by every wolf in my former pack and I can safely say that I didn’t miss being talked to or about this way.

“Valerie, cut the crap. This is Isla and she’s a guest here, the alpha invited her. She’s the one who treated the luna’s sickness. We’re showing her how much we appreciate what she did for our pack.” I don’t miss how he doesn’t refer to her ‘sickness’ as what it actually was, poisoning. I’m guessing they haven’t found the one responsible yet, so I decide to just keep my mouth shut.

“So, we’re outsourcing our medical needs to rogues now? And since when did we start inviting rogues to visit our pack?!” Her voice gets louder with each word until she’s practically shouting at the end, drawing the attention of at least half of the people in this small, crowded field.

Unfortunately, my attention to her rant is reduced to barely acknowledging her when a sudden overwhelming scent hits me…it smells like the forest right after it rains mixed with something kind of like citrus.

My eyes scan the crowd to find the source, but then a voice cuts in that has my body tingling with awareness and has Ivy howling in my head.

“There you are. Is there a problem here, Valerie?” I turn slowly, or maybe it just feels slow due to the unexpected anticipation of what this all means, but when my eyes land on the owner of that heavenly voice, my brow furrows and my heart clenches.

The wolf who’s responsible for that heavenly voice and the owner of that delightful scent is gorgeous with his dark brown hair and forest green eyes, but then he steps up beside Valerie and wraps his arm around her waist. I feel my wolf’s anger and hurt, but I manage to choke back her growl…barely.

“Yeah, there is. It seems your dad invited this rogue mutt to our celebration.” She spits out the word rogue like it’s acid on her tongue, yet I’m still too focused on the fact this the wolf, that’s clearly my mate, is clinging to another she-wolf while acting as if he doesn’t know what we are…but his heart rate and shift in energy tell me that he definitely knows.

“Ethan, care to explain why my dad is inviting some half-breed rogue to a pack gathering?” My mate, the fucking prick, speaks in a voice filled with contempt.

I have many options for how I could handle this, many of which I should absolutely not even consider, but this is when the alpha decides to make his appearance.

“You came and I see you’ve met my son! Welcome to the Amber Claw pack…” If it were under different circumstances, I would find the fact that he just now realized he doesn’t know my name to be amusing. Unfortunately, the circumstances are exactly what I had feared they would be, worse actually, and I refuse to stay here any longer.

“My name is Isla, but it seems that coming here was a mistake. I should thank your son and his little friend here for making my decision in regards to your offer simple. If your son, my goddess given fated mate, can’t accept me and acts with such cruelty and prejudice, then there’s no way I can expect to be treated any differently here than I was in Black Claw.

“I’m glad your luna is doing well, I truly am, but I think it would be best for everyone if I leave now. I appreciate the invitation, but I shouldn’t have come here.” I don’t wait for a response before turning and making my way back to the border the way we came.

I know Ethan is behind me, but I’m eternally grateful for his silence right now. I knew that coming here was a bad idea, but I had foolishly hoped that just maybe, I could find a place where I belong.

When I reach the border where the patrol is already waiting as I approach, I don’t stop, in fact, I increase my speed and all but run back to the safety of my cabin as fast as my legs can carry me.