Volume 3, Chapter 207 – Qi Huang’s Itching for Another Lesson

“Well then, as a qualified poop-scooper, when are you going to get my sister something to eat? You wouldn’t want your main body to find out you married some unremarkable country bumpkin, would you?”

Yaoyao wasn’t one to be trifled with, so she immediately countered with a threat.

“Getting food is easy. How about fish? Sweet and sour or spicy? I’m a pretty decent cook.”

Qi Huang reflexively replied.

“Spicy. But not fish, she said she wants milk.”

Yaoyao spoke as if it were a perfectly reasonable request.

“Milk? Cow or goat? I’ll go get some right away.”

Qi Huang was enthusiastic. Whether fish or milk, this was way too simple for her. Being a poop-scooper didn’t seem as hard as she’d imagined.

“Neither. Human milk.”

Yaoyao corrected her.

“Huh? Human milk? That’s… a bit tricky.”

Qi Huang’s face twisted in discomfort.

“Not tricky at all. You’ve got some, don’t you? And so much of it, too.”

Yaoyao’s tone was deliberately suggestive.

“Are you joking?! Not everyone with milk is a mother! I’ve never had a kid—where would I get milk?!”

Qi Huang immediately protested, flustered.

“Doesn’t matter. If you squeeze hard enough, something’ll come out.”

Yaoyao remained unmoved. The moment she finished speaking, the straps of Qi Huang’s black corset suddenly tightened violently.

“AHH!”

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Qi Huang let out a pained wail, her divine sense faltering mid-flight. She stumbled and nearly crashed to the ground. Glancing down, she saw her chest once again being crushed by the constricting fabric, her ribs creaking in protest.

“S-Stop… it’s numb and burning… If you keep tightening, they’ll pop!”

Clutching her chest, Qi Huang couldn’t help but beg.

“Numb and burning? Perfect. I did say I wanted spicy milk.”

Yaoyao teased mercilessly.

“Do you even have common sense?! You can’t get milk without being a mother! At most, you’ll squeeze out blood!”

Qi Huang desperately tried to reason with her.

“You really thought I wanted milk? I was just warning you—don’t act so flippant when talking to me. Remember, I’m a wraith, a malignant ghost. Next time you pull this, any child you have in the future will starve to death.”

With that final threat, Yaoyao finally loosened the straps.

“What did I even do?! When was I ever flippant?!”

Qi Huang rubbed her sore chest, aggrieved.

“Still denying it? Since when do Nine Nether Demon Cats eat fish? Isn’t that being flippant?”

Yaoyao shot back.

“Don’t they—”

Qi Huang paused mid-sentence, then smacked her forehead. “Right! Nine Nether Demon Cats eat wraiths. How could I forget?”

“All boobs, no brains!”

Yaoyao couldn’t resist the jab.

“Wraiths are easy. I’ll just grab one off the street later and feed it to them.”

Qi Huang’s confidence surged again.

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“Let me remind you—my standards for a poop-scooper are high. Your job isn’t just to keep them fed. I expect every single one of them to evolve into cat demons in the near future.”

Yaoyao laid down her terms firmly.

“All of them? How many wraiths would that take?”

Qi Huang blinked.

“Hundreds, if they’re ordinary wraiths. Too much hassle. I suggest you just catch malignant ghosts instead. Each cat only needs to eat about ten to evolve.”

Yaoyao offered a more efficient solution.

“Ten malignant ghosts per cat?! Where am I supposed to find that many?!”

Qi Huang’s face fell. Though evil spirits were everywhere in this world, true malignant ghosts were one in ten thousand.

“Too much trouble? Fine, forget it. But just so you know—if they all become cat demons, the tears they shed on the full moon will be ten times what they produce now.”

Yaoyao’s tone was casual, but her words struck deep.

“What?! Ten times?!”

Qi Huang’s eyes lit up instantly. “No trouble at all! If I can’t find enough ghosts, I’ll just feed them my own soul, how about that?!”

“You said it, not me.”

Yaoyao sneered.

Qi Huang immediately regretted her words.’ Damn cat girl, she’d actually take me up on that, wouldn’t she?’

As the two bickered, Qi Huang soon arrived back at the Honghua Sect. Thanks to Yaoyao’s ability to block divine sense, she flew in openly without issue.

Upon returning home, she found Yuan Jie still dutifully guarding her ghost tomatoes. Not wanting to disturb her, Qi Huang first reabsorbed the doppelgänger she’d left behind, then pretended she had just emerged from seclusion to greet her.

“Fairy, you’re out! Wow, you look absolutely stunning today! I’ve never seen such a beautiful dress—it suits you perfectly!”

Yuan Jie’s eyes sparkled with admiration.

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“Oh? Really?”

Qi Huang couldn’t help but feel pleased. Who didn’t like hearing compliments?

“So, did anyone enter my greenhouse while I was gone?”

She steadied herself and got to the point.

“Don’t worry, Fairy! I haven’t left for a second these past few days. Nobody disturbed you, and nobody entered the greenhouse!”

Yuan Jie eagerly reported her diligence.

“Good job. Your future husband is secured.”

Qi Huang glanced at the ghost tomatoes and nodded in approval.

“Really?! Where is he?”

Yuan Jie whipped her head around excitedly.

“Calm down. He’s not here yet. Can’t you be a little more reserved?”

Qi Huang sighed. Who said only men could be impatient? Women were just as bad.

“I’m not impatient! It’s just… my parents keep nagging me, and that drunkard won’t leave me alone. I can’t take it anymore.”

Yuan Jie defended herself weakly.

“Right, right. It’s not you—it’s your parents. Got it.”

Qi Huang smirked, then added, “Tell them not to worry. Their son-in-law will arrive soon.”

With that, she left Orchid Pavilion alone. As she walked, she noticed an unprecedented number of people staring at her—men and women alike, all with looks of awe. Clearly, Yuan Jie hadn’t been lying—this dress really was something else.

Qi Huang soon arrived at a pawnshop within the Honghua Sect and exchanged her recent spoils for cash. After accounting for the talismans she’d used and deciding to keep the spatial ring, she walked away with just over twelve thousand taels of silver. No matter—she still had eight vials of cat tears left to sell.

After leaving the pawnshop, she used the money to purchase two ordinary resident identity plaques from Elder Hu, the sect’s property manager. Strangely, neither bore a name.

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“Niece Hongling, why are these plaques blank? Who are they for?”

Elder Hu, now disabled but rewarded for his role in exposing Elder Wu, couldn’t help but ask.

“Because I refuse to arrange marriages.”

Qi Huang replied cryptically.

With the plaques secured, she felt a weight lift off her shoulders. Though it had cost her entire savings, she could finally put her conscience to rest.

Next, she stopped by a general store to buy small jade vials. The full moon was approaching—time to collect more cat tears.

“I was wrong. You’re not fit to be a poop-scooper—you’re fit to be a corrupt official! My sisters haven’t even had a proper meal under your care, and here you are, already scheming to harvest their tears!”

Yaoyao trembled with rage—literally, as Qi Huang’s dress began shaking on its own.

“Alright, I admit I’m a bit shameless. But isn’t it better than letting them go to waste?”

Qi Huang tried to justify herself.

“Not ‘a bit’. You’re extremely shameless.”

Yaoyao corrected.

“Yes, yes. I’m shameless, and I’m loving it.”

Qi Huang grinned, as if she’d already forgotten her earlier suffering.

Yaoyao was speechless. She’d never met a woman with such a thick face.

That evening, the Honghua Sect’s higher-ups came knocking, asking if Cheng Hongling would be returning soon. The sect’s supply of cat tears had run out, and they were counting on her to work another miracle.

“Don’t worry. She didn’t capture a Nine Nether Demon Cat, but she found a supplier. As long as you’ve got the money, she’ll get you all the cat tears you need.”

Qi Huang lied through her teeth without a second thought—clearly, her skin was itching for another lesson.