Volume 4, Chapter 231 – Big Sister, You Can’t Handle Me

“What? Me?”

Xia Wei’s usually stoic expression shattered instantly as she pointed at herself in stunned disbelief.

“Yes, you!”

Qi Huang reaffirmed. Her choice wasn’t based on something as shallow as attraction, there were deeper calculations at play.

“Why?”

Duan Feng, standing nearby, couldn’t contain his agitation and pressed for an answer.

“No reason. I just find her pleasant to look at. As a man, I can’t very well pick some muscle-bound brute in front of all these people, can I? Wouldn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea.”

Qi Huang tossed out the excuse carelessly.

“You should think carefully. This is about selecting a bodyguard, not a wife or concubine. What use is a beautiful woman if you lose your life?”

Duan Feng couldn’t hide his frustration.

“Who said it’s not about picking a wife or concubine? Manager Liu already declared that she’s mine now.”

Qi Huang shot back without hesitation.

“Uh…”

The surrounding onlookers exchanged uneasy glances, their expressions twisting into something odd. Was this guy out of his mind? Only Xia Wei seemed flustered, her eyes darting away as if she couldn’t bear to meet anyone’s gaze.

“If the young master insists, then this old man has nothing more to say. May you have a smooth journey. Hopefully those cat’s tears don’t become relics before you make it home.”

Duan Feng’s tone dripped with sarcasm before he turned away, his aged face stiff with displeasure.

“Don’t worry, Deputy Manager Duan. If anyone has such intentions, I’ll make sure they become relics first.”

Qi Huang smirked, raising her voice. When it came to verbal sparring, she never lost.

“Let’s go. Don’t just stand there. My home is far, and if we don’t leave soon, you really will become mine.”

Qi Huang beckoned to Xia Wei before swaggering off with an arrogant stride.

“Oh… oh!”

Xia Wei snapped out of her daze, her face lighting up with excitement. She turned to Liu Yingyue and declared, “Young Miss, don’t worry! I’ll complete this mission without fail!”

After making her promise, she hurried after Qi Huang, sticking close like a dutiful bodyguard, her posture radiating professionalism.

“Young Master, may you have a safe journey!”

Liu Yingyue watched them leave, her eyes filled with genuine well-wishes.

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Duan Feng returned to his quarters at the Jujin Auction House, the stormy expression on his face melting away into a chilling smile.

“Ah Biao, I trust I don’t need to spell out what must be done? I want those cat’s tears turned into relics before the government office opens tomorrow morning.”

He glanced at the burly guard he had earlier recommended to Qi Huang.

“Understood!”

Ah Biao accepted the order and turned to leave.

“Remember, before killing him, find out where those cat’s tears came from!”

Duan Feng added sharply.

“Yes!”

Ah Biao cupped his fists, hesitating for a moment before asking, “And what about Xia Wei?”

“Oh? Do you have feelings for her?”

Duan Feng’s brow twitched slightly.

“No, it’s not that—”

Ah Biao tried to explain.

“Young men are hot-blooded, I understand. As long as she ends up dead, what you do before that is none of my concern.”

Duan Feng waved dismissively, though he added coldly, “But let this be the first and last time.”

“Yes! Thank you for your generosity, Manager!”

Ah Biao’s face lit up with excitement as he rushed out the door.

“A fool who thinks with his lower half. You won’t die unjustly.”

Duan Feng sneered.

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Liu Yingyue’s guest room painted a starkly different scene. She stood by the window, gazing in the direction Qi Huang had departed, her beautiful eyes clouded with worry.

“Manager!”

A man’s voice called from outside the door.

“Come in.”

Liu Yingyue took a deep breath and stepped back.

The door opened, revealing a tall, handsome young man who entered with visible urgency.

“Manager, I don’t understand why you sent Xia Wei to protect that person. You know how dangerous this mission is, and her strength is…”

“You don’t understand?”

Liu Yingyue’s lips curled into a smile, her crimson lips striking against her fair skin. “If you don’t, then take a few guards and follow them to see for yourself.”

“Manager… you mean for me to go as well? Then why didn’t you have me accompany them earlier?”

Zhao Zheng looked bewildered.

“What do you think?”

Liu Yingyue countered lightly.

“I—I understand, Manager! I’ll complete the mission without fail!”

Realization dawned on Zhao Zheng’s face, and he swiftly left the room.

“Young Master, you must stay close to me at all times! That way, if anything happens, I can protect you immediately!”

The moment they left the auction house, Xia Wei pressed close to Qi Huang, her half-drawn sword at the ready. She ignored the impropriety of their proximity or the strange looks from passersby.

“Big Sister, relax. We’re still on the main streets of the prefecture.”

Qi Huang was both amused and exasperated. Though the occasional physical contact sent her imagination running wild, she was a principled person, she would never take advantage of the situation.

“The main streets? Young Master, you might not know this, but some clients don’t even make it out of the auction house before they’re killed. The fact that you’ve gotten this far is already impressive.”

Xia Wei remained vigilant, her sharp eyes scanning every shadowed corner.

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“That extreme?”

Qi Huang was taken aback. It seemed being a client of the Golden Fortune Auction House was indeed a high-risk occupation.

“If it’s so dangerous, why would a young woman like you become a bodyguard? Women are already scarce in the mortal world. With your looks, you could marry into a wealthy family without even trying.”

Qi Huang couldn’t help but ask.

“And then what? A hundred years later, I’d still be a pile of bones. My goal is to ascend through martial arts, shatter the void, and become an immortal.”

Xia Wei didn’t even glance back as she answered.

“Heh… what lofty ambitions. I believe in you!”

Qi Huang immediately cheered her on.

“Really?”

Xia Wei finally looked at her, surprised. “You’re the first person to encourage me. Everyone else says wanting to become an immortal is just a pipe dream.”

“Of course it’s true. Is becoming an immortal really that hard? I think it’s pretty easy!”

Qi Huang replied earnestly. If reaching the Heavenly Tribulation Realm meant immortality, then for her, it truly wasn’t difficult, not with ghost tomatoes eliminating all barriers.

“Becoming an immortal isn’t hard? Throughout history, how many in the cultivation world or martial path have achieved it?”

Xia Wei sounded doubtful.

“I don’t know about others, but for me, it’s simple. If you can’t make it, I’ll just take you with me when I ascend.”

Qi Huang’s tone was breezy, as if discussing the weather.

“You? An immortal?”

Xia Wei scrutinized her for a long moment before suddenly laughing coldly. “Do you think I’m some naive little girl who’ll fall for sweet talk and throw myself at you?”

“Huh? Do I really look that sleazy?”

Qi Huang was dumbfounded. Even if Xia Wei wanted to throw herself at her, she lacked the necessary equipment!

“Just look at yourself—your voice is neither male nor female, your limbs are thin, your skin is smoother than a woman’s, your breathing is weak, your footsteps are unsteady, and worst of all, you reek of perfume. You’re the picture of a effeminate man with no martial prowess. And you dare claim immortality is easy? Becoming a ghost might be!”

Xia Wei’s disdain was palpable.

“Effeminate?”

Qi Huang’s pride took a hit. “Let’s negotiate, don’t call me ‘effeminate’, okay? Drop one character, and you can even call me ‘girly’ ¹ This wordplay is kind of difficult to explain in English so I’ll try explaining it as best as I can. 娘娘腔 (niáng niáng qiāng), basically means ‘effeminate’ in a derogatory way that mocks men who are perceived as lacking traditionally masculine traits . Qi Huang suggests removing one character to make it just 娘娘 (niáng niáng), which means ’empress’ or ‘lady’, thinking this sounds more dignified somehow. !”

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“You’re bargaining over this? Fine, I’ll even throw in another character for free.”

Xia Wei was oddly generous.

“‘Spear’?? Now we’re talking!”

Qi Huang perked up immediately.

“I said ‘girly’! What ‘spear’? With that cheeky grin of yours, ‘sword’ ² Xia Wei then offers to add another character instead. Qi Huang gets excited thinking she means 枪 (qiāng = gun/spear) which sounds masculine. This wordplay works because 枪 (qiāng) and  腔 (qiāng) are pronounced the same way but have opposite meanings. She then adds that with her goofy expression, a 剑 (jiàn = sword) fits her better. I don’t really get the relations but if I had to guess it’s like how a spear is perceived as a more ‘serious’ weapon because it is more widely used in wars as opposed to a sword that is usually decorative and used as a side weapon. It could also be that Xia Wei is sarcastic and implies that even though a sword might be seen as more refined or elegant, Qi Huang still is too frivolous even for it. Another way I could interpret it is that it’s a pun of 賤 (jiàn = cheap/lowly) and  劍 (jiàn = sword) since they sound the same. Hope that was understandable I’m just sharing my opinion at this point aksljdlaksjd. I already spent 3 hours on this section of the chapter alone ok ok don’t blame me. Please comment, ping me on discord or do anything to notify me if you are knowledgable in this. Apologies and thank you in advance. would suit you better! Little Brother, if you want to flirt with women, at least act like a man first. I don’t like men who are prettier than me!”

Every word was a dagger to Qi Huang’s pride.

“Wait, I wasn’t trying to flirt!”

Qi Huang didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

“Then who was it that said they picked me because I’m pretty? Wasn’t that you?”

Xia Wei challenged.

“Uh…”

Qi Huang was momentarily speechless but still fought back. “Even if I did, so what? I’m a VIP of your auction house—your client! Shouldn’t you show me some respect?”

“I’m a bodyguard. My job is to protect your life, not your pride.”

Xia Wei’s reply was matter-of-fact.

Qi Huang, far from being ashamed, seemed delighted and broke into laughter. Bantering with a girl was genuinely fun.

“Honestly, I’ve met plenty of smooth-talking youngsters like you. All talk, no skill. It’s really grating. Save your sweet words for gullible girls. A mature woman like me isn’t someone you can handle.”

Xia Wei grew more animated, seemingly forgetting she was supposed to be a bodyguard.

“Oh? Then we’re alike. I also dislike men who rely on empty flattery!”

Qi Huang eagerly agreed.

“Pfft, you really have no shame, do you?”

Xia Wei’s scorn only deepened.

As the two bickered their way out of the prefecture, Qi Huang kept up her playful act. But her divine sense was fully extended—she had long detected two separate groups tailing them.

“Heh… looks like my plan worked.”

A faint smirk curled at the corner of Qi Huang’s lips.