Chapter 23 : Preparations

As prommised here is a new chapter, unfortunetly I will not be able to update much since tommorow I start university.

It has been a month since alaya has come to live in the emiya compound, she happily sacarfed and ate food made by shirou and archer with the latter barely tolerating her presence. Though he got an idea from watching a tv show that would make alaya suffer.

Flashback.

Alaya : you want me to do what ?

Archer : take cooking lessons from me.

Alaya : and why would I do that ? You already make me food.

Archer : that way you can make your favorite dishes any time you want.

Alaya thought about it then nodded.

Archer : great you just need to sign this contract that says you will not quit or complain.

Alaya : fine besides how hard can cooking be ?
While signning the contract unaware of the hell that awaits her in the kitchen.

10 min later

Archer : YOU FUCKING IDIOT  THIS ISN'T A CRAB CAKE, IT'S CRAP CAKE.

Alya : SORRY.

LATER

ARCHER : THIS PASTA IS AN INSULT TO ITALY.

LATER

ARCHER : DID YOU JUST SERVE MICROWAVED FOOD IN MY KITCHEN ?

ALAYA : IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN, PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

LATER

ARCHER : THIS DISH HAS SO MUCH OIL, IT CAN FILL 2 CARS AND HAVE MORE TO SPARE.
Throwing the dish into the trash.

LATER

ARCHER : WHAT ARE YOU ?
holding alaya's crying face between two slices of bread.

Alaya : an idiot sandwich.

Archer : THAT'S RIGHT AN IDIOT SANDWICH.

Flashback over

It did not take 5 minutes for alaya to want to quit but she couldn't due to the contract, after their first session, she begged medea to use rule breaker but medea refused. Archer himself felt great happiness and a sense of pride when he made the collective counciousness of humanity and the former source of his suffering cry and beg for mercy, he was now thinking what he would do for the next session of tortur-- I mean trainning.

As for shirou and the others, well aoka and arcueid happily ate the food made and the others would watch from the living room when there was no entertainment on tv , though when sella tried to tell archer to take it easy  she was thrown out of his kitchen and recieaved a shouting she never wanted experience again. Medea was happy it was shirou who taught her to cook and not archer.

Right now we see everyone sitting in the living room where shirou had an announcement.

Shirou : okay everyone thank you for comming.

Sakura : no problem senpai.

Rin : did something happen ?

Shirou : I am just here to gather all of you in one place before nero comes and tells us the good news. She should be here in 3 2 1 !

Right on time the door flew open showing nero dragging archer with her.

Nero : good you are all here, I have splended news my friends.

Rider : really what is it ?

Nero : archer proposed to me.
Showing a beutiful ring.

Squeels erupted from the females and they all crowded around nero to see the ring.

Illya : how did he propose ?

Medea : when is the wedding ?

Luvia : where will you have it ?

Nero : he proposed to me after taking me to a luxorious restarent where we danced and ate, then he took me to see fireworks at night in an isolated spot at midnight then as the fireworks were going to explode he got down on his knees and asked me to marry him.

Sella : wow I did not think archer was so romantic.

Nero : my love is full of surprises. The wedding will be soon as I cannot wait and as for  where we will have, shirou told us we could have it on the planet he made in his palace.

Arcueid : good idea shirou.

Shirou : thanks and your welcome nero.

Nero : oh and ciel we want you to marry us.

Ciel : I don't think I am qualified.

Nero : you used to be a memmber of the church.

Ciel : I killed vampires.

Nero : killing vampires, marrying people not much of a difference, come on pleaseeeeee.

Ciel : fine I accept.

Kiritsuga : well son, I am happy for you, congratulations and may you both have a happy life.

Archer : thanks old man and thanks for being my best man shirou and helping me out.

Shirou : I think you deserve happiness after what you have been through.

The men saw the girls dragging nero away.

Shirou : where are you going ?

Aoka : to have nero pick out a dress.

Shirou : isn't it too early.

Girls : nope.

Nero was then dragged away by the by the girls to shop for dresses.

Shirou :  I will go stop them from doing anything too crazy.

Archer : hey that's hell your walking into.

Shirou : your right, dad will you go.

Kiritsuga : even I am not stupid or brave enough to stop them.

Shirou : your right, I am sure they will be fine

With the girls

The girls arrived in fyuuki's most expensive dress store not worrying about the cost having stolen shirou's credit card that had billions in it due to him killing some rogue mages as a favor for lorelei and selling some technology making him known as a genious across the world.

At home shirou suddenly felt the need to cry for lossing something and it reaching the wrong hands.

The girls entered the store where they were greeted and had nero try on many dresses, till she finally paused at one.

Luvia : are you sure you want this one ?

Medea : luvia's right, it's not very traditional.

Lorelei : and it shows alot of skin.

Nero : yes, I am sure, it is because it is exotic and unique that I want it, also it screams me.

Aoka : well this your lucky day and your opinnion matters the most.

Arcueid : I think you look great.

Rider : aoka's right, you are the one who will get married, I also think you look great.

Sakura : congratulations nero.

Nero : thank you, I hope you will also be as happy as I when shirou proposes to you.

Lancer : getting...

Medea : married...

Aoka : : to..

Arcueid : shirou.

The girls blushed and immagined shirou proposing to them amd then the wedding.

Ciel : I call dibbs on the first wedding.

Girls but ciel and nero : hell no.

Ciel : too late I called dibbs.

Arcueid : you can't do that, I was his first girlfriend.

Aoka : I am his sensei and he saved me like a hero in the books.

Illya : you don't teach him anything and I knew him the longest.

Lancer : he is my master.

Lorelei : I am the queen of the clocktower and I say I will be the first wife.

Luvia : we are close to each other.

Rin : please, I am his classmate.

Sakura : he is my senpai.

Medea : he gave me a new life and I know how to cook so I am a better wife.

Sella : as his maid I am obligated to take responsibility.

Liz : I will have shirou feed me.

Rider : worry not sakura, I will help you win then we can enjoy shirou together on the wedding night.

And so without him knowing, a new war has been centered around shirou, one that could be considered the bloodiest in history.

Aoka : OK ENOUGH, we can continue this later, now we have to celebrate nero.

Nero : thank you aoka.

Rin : aoka's right, we don't want to ruin her fun, besides we have shirou's credit card and the night is still young, I say we party all night.

Girls : YEAH.

At emiya house.

Shirou : something bad will happen, I know it.

With girls

After paying for the dress the girls went to dance and eat and party all night all expenses being paid by shirou.

With shirou

Shirou woke up alone which was very rare since the girls always slept by his side, but it seems that they stayed in tohsaka's place. He picked up his phone and saw if there were any messages before his eyes widened.

Shirou : THEY SPENT NINETY MILLION DOLLARS, WHAT THE HELL DID THEY DO YESTERDAY ?

The End.

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