Chapter 1: What If I Saw My Dearest Girlfriend Kissing Another Guy So Lovingly?

I saw the first girlfriend I ever had cheating on me.

「Huh? Is Meari not here anymore?」

When I went to her classroom to pick her up like I always do, they said she had already left.

So, I had no choice but to wander around the school building, and that's when I saw my beloved girlfriend kissing someone on the landing of the stairs leading to the roof.

「You can't... What if someone sees us? I'd be so embarrassed.」

「Who's gonna come to a place like this at this hour? Relax, I'll just have to kiss you so much you stop caring about that.」

「Ah, mm...」

Her partner was a guy I knew well, the most handsome and brilliant student in our grade.

His name was Kiyama, I think.

He was rumored to be a womanizer who was never short on romantic exploits because of his good looks and pleasant personality, and was despised by the unpopular guys.

And yet, he was popular with the girls. They think those rumors are nothing more than jealous slander spread by pathetic losers.

She had told me that she could never bring herself to like someone with those kinds of rumors. And yet, and yet...

Why did something like this happen?

But, thinking back on it carefully, I feel like she has certainly been acting strange lately.

About a month ago, we were meeting up and hanging out almost every day, but then she suddenly started blowing me off.

Her reasons varied, but I guess this is what it all meant.

She found a guy she liked more than me, and seeing him was a much higher priority than seeing me.

Her birthday is coming up soon, so I'd even been working a part-time job in secret, but that's all gone to waste now.

「Mm... nghh.」

The two of them continue to share kisses deeper than one would think high school students capable of.

I couldn't bear to watch, and I ended up backing away and fleeing the scene.

I didn't want to think about anything. I just ran frantically.

I left the school building and ran relentlessly down my usual route home.

The path we always took home together, the path we walked.

My face is hot, especially around my eyes. Why do I have to go through something so miserable!

When I came to, I collapsed on the bed in my room.

I don't even know when I got home.

「Kuh...! Uhh! Why?! Why...」

What was it she was so unhappy with!

For her, I did so much, every single day...!

But it wasn't enough.

If she didn't like me, she could have just said so!

If she'd found another guy she liked, she could have just told me upfront, and I wouldn't have had to feel this miserable.

Filthy, filthy, filthy, filthy, filthy, filthy!!!

What do you mean, you couldn't like him! That lying bitch!!

No matter how much I curse her, it's not enough.

But what's most frustrating of all──is that I couldn't say it to their faces.

Was I this much of a coward... I'm sick of everything.

Right, now that I think about it, someone did mention it.

That they saw her going into the café in front of the station recently. That they couldn't see clearly, but she wasn't alone.

If I had caught on back then, would things have been any different?

But now, it's too late for everything.

Once I'd cried my heart out, a wave of drowsiness washed over me.

I'll just sleep like this, I'm tired of everything.

『Kou-kun. I've decided to start dating this person today. I mean, when I really think about it, you're just my childhood friend, and that's all you really were. It's boring being with you. Well, see ya. You don't ever have to talk to me again. You're better off living your life alone, but you should be grateful you got to have a nice little dream, even if it was just for a little while.』

I had a nightmare.

Even after sleeping, I'm not rested at all. Why can't I even find peace in my dreams!

In the end, I didn't even feel like eating dinner that day.

In the morning, I woke up in the worst possible mood.

I had another nightmare. I don't even want to remember what it was about! That woman!!

With anger and a tremendous sense of exhaustion, my body is a wreck, both physically and mentally.

My stomach hurts. It's probably all messed up.

I see a message on my smartphone. It's from her.

I couldn't bring myself to open it, it's probably full of lies anyway. What's so fun about deceiving me? I don't find it fun at all.

I've never kissed her. Because she wouldn't let me. She'd say it was still too embarrassing. And yet, she was kissing that guy.

The taste of her that only that guy knows! It's so irritating!

I get up, still fuming, and kick my trash can.

Why is trash scattered all over my floor? So frustrating!

It's my fault, but she's the one who made me do it! They are!

In the end, without even picking up the trash, I burst out of my room.

I'll end things with her.

Can I really end it? Me...

My thoughts keep changing from one moment to the next. All these different emotions are tormenting me, and I couldn't help but feel frustrated.

I never knew I was this indecisive.

So what if I am!!