Chapter 115

The Destis who hadn't made it to the audience taping were losing their minds over the recaps.

They wanted more detail, more description, previews from the fansite photographers — right now — but sadly no more recaps went up. The Destis who'd been there were busy making their way home, waiting for the departure shots, or off locking down the episode 4 live broadcast.

'True. For the sake of episode 4's buzz, better if the recaps go up later anyway.'

Even so, all the Destis were constantly searching social media for more reactions. Which was how "miro maze," "audience recap," "kang hajin's back," and "seo taehyun please debut" ended up climbing the trending list.

And, in the middle of all this, finally —

- guys, ep4's starting

Miro Maze episode 4 aired.

Maybe because public opinion had only just flipped on a dime over Yugeon's situation — Miro Maze's fourth episode aired in a fairly calm mood.

title: [wait so the lee yugeon controversy got cleared up???] - public opinion changed so fast kinda took me by surprise... school-bullying and attitude stuff all resolved???? - can't believe there's still one of these guys — (clarification post link) > yeah it's all up already just read this and get out

There were still occasional trolls hunting for bait to stir things up today too, but the Destis — already burned once — were slowly learning what "don't-feed" meant. A few rounds of burying weird posts under fresh new ones, and the troll posts started dropping out of sight one by one.

The production team must have sensed the mood too — you could tell they'd cut every part with even the slightest potential to cause trouble at the editing stage. Rather than trainee conflict or crisis, the edits kept the focus on the individual growth of each person preparing for this song.

I don't want to lose to my hyungs. Can I really do this? That kind of thought keeps coming to me…. Honestly, I'm not that confident.

Cinderella team's Kim Wonho and Gong Seok, and Sad-Ending team's Park Jaeyoung — their inner struggles were handled with real weight.

The gap they felt, the sense of inferiority, the way they shrank — as trainees who'd been bouncing around the general class before this show, suddenly locked into teams with top-ranked trainees for real — was all laid bare.

title: [today's story from the kids hit way too close to home] - i'm in performing arts too and it reminded me of applying for uni - the more you prepare the more you realize you were a frog in a well… - like this feeling of not being able to trust yourself? honestly emotions we've all been through - so watching today my heart was getting shredded ㅠㅠㅠ but at the same time i was like you're all doing so well you sweet little wonders ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ handle: @ov__rv name: over the river wonho-yah no matter what anyone says right in this moment my brightest star is you bit.ly/9Pz… [photo]

The Blue Scandal team — Doha and Yugeon, plus the now-departed Seongwoo — was also handled in a dry, spare way. Rather than Yugeon, who'd been the subject of controversy, the main focus fell on Doha's story: how he'd first begun to dream of being a singer after watching Upia.

> Q. How does it feel to be performing an Upia song? Tough. First off, the bassline is packed so tightly, you can't just start touching it. …(x2 speed)… And Seo Taeil-sunbaenim wrote the song with each individual Upia sunbaenim in mind, so the real question is how our team can even find our own color in it…(omitted)….

One of Miro's founding pillars, no less. Not just some old song — Upia's debut track was practically ancestral. And on top of that, from Doha — who'd gone so far as to publicly name Seo Taeil his role model — came a rambling chronicle of arrangement hell.

Under dim lighting, in what looked like his workroom, Doha — in a comfortable tank top — sat murmuring his thoughts out to a self-cam. The scene came off remarkably professional.

Weighing each member's role…. is the hardest part. In Cheong Hansol-sunbaenim's case, his range is genuinely huge, and his power to pull a song forward is incredible. Personally, among us trainees, I'd say Hajin is probably closest to his style. Hm, to bring out Seongwoo-hyung's strengths, we'd need to bring the tempo down a bit more….

It was the kind of scene that shut up every person who'd been sneering, how's someone who dances like that supposed to be an idol.

With the survival show's staple flavors — conflict, crisis, climax — stripped out, the broadcast couldn't help feeling a little flat. The production team had walked away from every dramatic beat so boldly it made you wonder — is a network that lives on manufacturing controversy really allowed to do this?

But this wasn't hedging out of over-caution about controversy.

- whoa the miro maze stage videos are all on trending at 600k views ㄷㄷ

It was confidence.

Confidence that even without those flavor-boosting tricks, the people watching this show would be satisfied.

title: [in-house really is in-house ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ] - honestly whenever anyone else covers upia enderway stages no matter how good it is i feel like it doesn't hit the original flavor ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ watching miro maze yesterday i was like ah THIS is it ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ - true nothing to be done about it ㅋㅋㅋㅋ - the feeling is totally different that vibe just hits - i'm and-with-u and honestly gotta admit it, out of all the covers of our kids this is my fav so far title: [yesterday's miro maze blue scandal team was a shame] - main vocal seemed way too nervous… without that the lee brothers could've carried and pulled a bigger score ㅠㅠㅠ - right, doha's arrangement was so good i was like whoa we've got it - main vocal is the guy who dropped out right? isn't he the one who beat kang hajin before?? how did he even win > what we see on tv is different from live tho ㅠㅜ but yeah still a shame, honestly hajin as paran main vocal would've been better TT > don't say that i'm grateful to him thanks to him kang hajin got sent to sad ending and a legend was born > right ㅋㅋㅋㅋ to you i declare viewcount is about to hit a million for real handle: @ice_ciu name: JeongShoo-Cream trying to pin down jung siwoo's vibe — spectacular failure again today [video] engagement: shares 2,471 · quotes 34 · hearts 2,599

Jung Siwoo — who'd broken his usual image with the Cleopatra game and then made the original song's atmosphere completely his own on stage.

Lee Doha, who'd turned in an arrangement so strong that even the original song's writer, Upia's Cheong Hansol, had acknowledged it.

Mentions of the two of them had gone up noticeably.

Especially compared to Jung Siwoo — already ranked high in popularity — the reassessment of Lee Doha, who despite his skills hadn't gotten many mentions because of weaker dance, flipped completely.

title: [honestly i was in the "why is 2doha even doing idol" camp] - watching ep4 yesterday i finally get why han sewon is holding onto this kid - all miro's idols have one self-prod + songwriting-capable member each and turns out that's his role ㅋㅋㅋㅋ but ah what a shame though — someone at 2doha's level could've just gone solo hiphop ㅠ > no like people said he can't dance so i figured he must be at some wooden-doll level, but the actual stage wasn't even distracting? has nobody here seen a real wooden-doll dancer > 2doha's a wooden-doll for sure ㅇㅇ… back in class A practice he was the one guy who couldn't follow the choreo at all > dance you can just train up, honestly with those looks with that rap and that songwriting if i were han sewon i'd cling to his pants leg to make him debut

He'd been elevated from how's someone who can't even dance an idol to can't dance much but a trainee worth grabbing. The fact that outside of Eunchan, no trainee stood out at the rap position as overwhelmingly as Doha seemed to have played a big part too.

—Hajin, having read the reactions up to this point, lightly closed the internet window and shut the laptop down.

"Chan-ah, thanks. Made good use of it."

"You can use it longer. I've got my tablet."

"Whoa, that's some serious deprivative relativity."

"…don't you mean relative deprivation?"

"In our internet world, we've all agreed to call it 'deprivative relation.' You could also call it 'reprivative delation'—"

"Hyung. Once was enough."

"Mm."

Eunchan, leaning back on the bed, didn't even glance Hajin's way as he cleanly shut Hajin's bit down. Hajin flopped forward, cheek pressed to the cool laptop, grumbling.

"Our Chan has changed…. before it was fun teasing him — I'd toss out some dumb joke and he'd innocently ask really? and just believe me…."

Even at Hajin's aggrieved tone, Eunchan didn't so much as blink, his eyes fixed on the tablet.

"Hyung, you try sharing a room with someone like yourself for two months."

"Waah. I hate Chan."

"That one — also just once please. You don't hate me."

Tch, doesn't work.

Looked like he'd have to develop new methods of teasing Eunchan. For the record, twenty-two rounds of research had already been carried out, and about twenty of them were still in active service.

Bored of the game, Hajin got up again — and instead of using his own bed across from Eunchan's, went out of his way to cram his big frame into Eunchan's narrow one. Eunchan, like this was routine, shifted to make room so Hajin could crumple in fully.

"I've been noticing this for a while — you really don't seem to have much reaction to me invading your bed?"

"Ah. …my hyung used to do this too. Mostly when he came home drunk. Going, aigoo, our maknae~ and everything. So, yeah…."

"Ahh."

Hajin nodded, thinking of Eunseok — who'd come to the third-mission audience taping a few days back on Eunchan's guest pass.

"I thought only my hyung did this. Seeing you do it too, guess it's just older-brother instinct."

"Nah. Wrong. Eunseok-hyungnim and I are the weird ones. What hyung crumples into a bed with his dongsaeng like this."

"…i guess. and i've got two of those weirdos around me now. one right here. one over there."

"Our Chan's talkback game keeps getting better. I approve."

When Hajin answered with a laugh, Eunchan set the tablet on the side desk, leaned back against the opposite headboard, and asked.

"So what's your psychology, then?"

"Me? My psychology?"

"You're the only one who teases me like this. Everyone else just sees my face and gets scared."

At Eunchan's words, Hajin made a small hmm, thinking it over. Of course, Eunchan seemed unaware that Hajin — currently goofing around like this — had, when they'd first met, been slightly (very, very slightly) intimidated by Eunchan's flat expression himself.

After a long think, Hajin — as if it had come to him — went ah, whipping his head around to look up at Eunchan.

"Maybe 'cause you remind me of Hawon?"

"Your dongsaeng?"

Now that he'd said it out loud, Eunchan really did seem to have some things in common with Hawon.

Emotional expression and speech coming across a little stiff even though he actually cried easily; a blank face as his default. And the satisfying way he registered a hit from Hajin's teasing — the reactions had a nice bite to them. All in common.

'Come to think of it, he really does look like our Hawon.'

Even as he thought that, Hajin added another line to Eunchan, who was watching him with an odd expression.

"Of course, our Hawon's a bit more chic. He's a T. You're an F."

"Ah."

"Still, since he's had over twenty years of dealing with me, his skill at handling me's reached a whole different level. Doesn't matter what bit I throw out — doesn't flinch. This one time we were riding in a car heading somewhere—"

"A car? Hyung, don't you not have a license?"

"…ah."

At Eunchan's question, Hajin trailed off.

Right…. that was from a previous run.

A memory came in fresh, out of nowhere.

Hawon at twenty-eight had been such a good dongsaeng — and friend — to him.

If he did debut in this life, he wouldn't be able to spend as much time with Hawon as he had over the past runs.

Thinking that, he felt a small pang of something bittersweet.

"…yeah, uh, I meant we took the bus. Before I became a trainee."

"Ahh."

"Anyway. Maybe it's because me and my dongsaeng are so close. I'm just more comfortable around dongsaengs. Been sharing a room with him since we were little, so I'm used to being packed in with someone."

"……"

"What. Are you uncomfortable? If you are, I'll go back to my bed."

Is this kid wanting to kick me out and just too polite to say it, going roundabout like this?

Worrying about the wrong thing, Hajin looked up at Eunchan — but Eunchan quietly shook his head. Then, seeming to pick his words for a moment, he looked at Hajin with an expression that took real courage, and asked.

"Then — are we your dongsaengs too?"

"Huh?"

"Me and Haru…. Taehyun-hyung, Wonho-hyung, Yugeon-hyung…. all of us, basically. Can we call ourselves hyung's dongsaengs?"

…what else would you be, then — my hyungs?

Confused by Eunchan's cryptic question, Hajin blinked.

He took a moment to try to parse it. Eunchan, hurrying, tacked on more.

"No, it's nothing big or anything…. just — we might not all get to debut together, right? And if that happens, staying near each other like this'll be hard. Um, but if we keep in touch, and come hang out at each other's places…. we're at least like, that kind of close hyung-dongsaeng thing, aren't we…?"

Only after reading Eunchan's slightly nervous expression could Hajin see what feeling had actually been behind the question.

Hajin was similar to Taehyun in one respect — he kept a fairly firm line between people inside his circle and people outside it. He was just naturally so quick with people that it didn't show on the surface. And Eunchan, being close with Taehyun, had apparently picked up on that side of Hajin while living with him.

'Well, well — Ju-No-Clue picking up on the vibes for once….'

The mood that had been on the verge of dipping a moment earlier — feeling as if he'd lost his relationship with the twenty-eight-year-old Hawon — lifted right back up. Thanks to being reminded that even though a lot of relationships had slipped away and vanished, new connections springing up like this were, by now, plenty precious and welcome to him too.

Hajin gave Eunchan a light tap, smiling.

"So if I don't debut, were you gonna change your place's passcode and never invite me over?"

"…why wouldn't you debut, hyung. The response to your 'To You I Declare' stage was huge."

"Then what about you."

"Me… compared to the other hyungs, my impact's a little weak."

"What in the world are you talking about, Chan-ah. Your visuals ARE the impact."

You think I bundled you up and hid you back at the third mission for nothing? Just your face on camera has the same shockwave potential as my back or Doha's abs.

At Hajin's serious tone, Eunchan laughed like the whole thing was absurd. Hajin, also grinning, spoke as if letting out a long breath.

"Since we're at it, let's just say we're both debuting. It's more fun even to imagine."

"Okay. Then if we debut together, introduce me to your dongsaeng."

"Our Hawon? Why?"

"You met my hyung. I want to talk about hyung with hyung's dongsaeng too."

"Hey, I only ever talk wholesome stuff with Eunseok-hyungnim. I don't trash-talk you or anything."

"I didn't say trash talk, though? Then Hawon-hyung and I can just talk wholesome things too."

How is he already calling him Hawon-hyung when he hasn't even met him….

Blinking at Eunchan in mild disbelief, Hajin thought — on second thought, there was no real reason not to introduce them, so he nodded.

"Sure, fine. We'll grab a meal sometime."

"Really? For real? Then can I tell Haru about this?"

"Do you have to go that…. fine. Do whatever you want, Chan-ah."

Eunchan's eyes were too full of anticipation for him to say do you have to take it that far.

Probably better not to mention that Hawon might not like the idea.

Introvert Hawon found the whole business of leaving the house a hassle to begin with, and situations that involved leaving the house AND facing strangers were even more uncomfortable for him. Which was exactly how you could tell it had been a miracle he'd agreed to the broadcast shoot last {time.}(#7nkz0zvw8a4i)

Come to think of it, that hasn't aired yet, right? What we shot then.

He'd figured they'd show it early on — when was it coming out?

Just as Hajin was thinking that and roughly counting up the remaining episodes' structure, Eunchan — who'd been rustling around beside him — hopped down off the bed.

"Hyung, the kids are gonna play games in the lounge, wanna come?"

"Which kids."

"Haru, Jaeyoung, Yuki, and Parang."

Piqued at the word game, Hajin lifted his head a little — then, hearing the party lineup, shook his head and lay back down.

"Chicks play with chicks. Hyung's gonna rest."

"We're not chicks!"

"Level up before you come at me. You lose to me every single time."

"…that's true, but."

There was no way high schoolers who'd been at the agency since they were little, grinding away at dance and vocal practice all day every day, could beat Hajin at games. Usually he'd found the way they came at him trying to win each time cute enough to indulge them a little — but today he was tired, and….

Ju Eunchan and Dan Haru need to start getting closer with the other kids too.

The last field-day event must have helped — recently Eunchan and Haru seemed to be mixing well with the trainees their age. Now that they'd finally gathered with people their own age, if Hajin joined in, the conversation would inevitably swing back around to Hajin again.

When it came to human relationships, Hajin had fought every kind of battle you could name — land battles, sea battles, air battles, and beyond: kimchi-pancake battles, potato-pancake battles, hand-to-hand battles, melee battles, hall-of-scholars battles, encyclopedia battles… every flavor of battle out there, he'd been through. And from that experience, he instinctively knew that right now, stepping aside was better for everyone.

"Hyung, you really not coming? What if we call Taehyun-hyung, then?"

"Seo Taehyun is done with his stretching and busy foam-rolling in his room while monitoring the stages back — I'll bet Doha's hoodie on it."

"Why are YOU betting Doha-hyung's hoodie?"

"Dunno, it was in my room? Must've grabbed it by mistake after the last load of laundry."

Since their clothing sizes were similar, this kind of mix-up did happen sometimes — explaining that, Hajin gestured with his chin toward the oversized hoodie hanging on his chair.

"Anyway, got it. But next time you have to play with us. I'll level up and come back."

"Sure thing. Let's see the day our Chan gets picked mafia without his pupils going into full earthquake mode."

"Aw, come on."

Embarrassed, Eunchan huffed for no real reason and stepped out of the room. Hajin — who'd been snickering at Eunchan's satisfying reaction — got up too, planning to head to his own bed and do a little more monitoring of episode 4.

The moment he stepped down off Eunchan's bed, before his foot had fully landed on the floor —

"……?"

Pabat! With a crackle of sparking electricity, something blocked Hajin's line of sight. Hajin snapped into alert mode fast, took one look at what it was, and cracked a small laugh, folding his arms.

LOADING... LOADING... System restore complete. The Fixed Regressor's timeline is running normally. The Fixed Regressor's system error has been processed normally. Would you like to view the Fixed Regressor's system history? (Access condition: entry into the Unconscious Space.)

It was Thirteen, back at last — a sight welcome enough to bring him to tears.

"Took you long enough, you punk."

Thankfully, he had no more schedule for the rest of the day. So Eunchan wouldn't notice anything off if he came back to the room, Hajin went ahead and finished his whole getting-ready-for-bed routine, and — with an almost reverent focus — lay down on the bed. Just to be safe, he even shot Eunchan a KakaoTalk. Hyung's tired, going to sleep first, don't wake me up.