Chapter 165

"Now, only one seat in Kairos remains."

Seo Taeil, as always, read the script in a voice touched with a little bitterness.

"First, we'll announce the trainee who at final 10th place must leave this stage."

"……."

"Final 10th place. The trainee who must, regretfully, bid us farewell is……. Trainee Jayden."

Jayden, as if he'd known it would be him, gave a small nod and, wearing a rueful expression, embraced the remaining trainees.

Apparently it was hard to convey the tangle of feelings entirely in Korean — he gave his final remarks in his native English. It had been a joy to share this time together, and though he'd be heading home now, he'd keep making the music you'd loved, right there — that was the vow he was making.

"Please remember me and my music."

His remarks done, Jayden moved to the eliminated-trainee seat set up to one side.

"Following right on that, we'll reveal the two candidates for 7th and 8th place, whose paths from here will diverge. The one candidate not on this shortlist naturally leaves this stage at final 9th place."

Lee Yugeon, Kim Wonho, and Park Jaeyoung appeared on the big screen in a three-way split.

Pausing for a beat on the production team's cue, Seo Taeil — as if he was struggling with it too — slightly furrowed his brow, gestured with a hand, and turned his back to the camera.

But only for a moment.

Letting out a hoo, a few short breaths, Seo Taeil barely got his emotions under control and opened his mouth.

At what might be the trainees' last moment, he wasn't about to let himself pull the spotlight for any reason at all.

"Miro Maze's final 7th-place candidates are…. Trainee Lee Yugeon, and Trainee Kim Wonho."

So it ended up like this, Hajin thought, watching Yugeon and Wonho each step forward with unreadable expressions.

Jaeyoung, who'd been squeezing his eyes shut, also let the tension drop out of his shoulders at the result and gave a rueful smile.

"…therefore, Trainee Park Jaeyoung, at final 9th place, will be wrapping up his Miro Maze journey."

Since the final debut spot was, naturally, the real headline, the production team had them ask the eliminated Jaeyoung for his remarks first. Jaeyoung hugged Wonho and Yugeon in turn, and with bold, brisk strides walked out proudly.

"That I don't get to debut alongside these hyungs is really, really something I'll miss…. But just having come this far — I think it's been the greatest fortune of my life, one I'll never see again! I'm still young, and I've got a long road left to run. Please, don't forget me — remember me from here on too!"

Hajin looked at Jaeyoung — who over the course of Miro Maze had grown a real backbone — with pride.

When Jaeyoung headed this way to move over to the eliminated zone, just as with Jayden before him, every one of the trainees came down from the platform they'd been standing on to meet him.

Trading warm, rueful goodbyes with the other trainees one by one, Jaeyoung spotted Hajin last of all and slowed his steps.

"Little Jae."

"…Hajin-hyung."

At Hajin — nodding as if he understood everything and opening his arms — Jaeyoung's face crumpled at last, and he sank into Hajin's arms. As if he was pouring out every bit of the rueful, heartsore feeling inside him, Jaeyoung sobbed into Hajin's chest, and Hajin, without a word, held him and patted his back.

"You did great, you did great…. Making it this far is amazing in itself."

If he hadn't planned this survival called Miro Maze, Park Jaeyoung would already, long since, have quit being a trainee and be off living some other daily life. Across every timeline he'd experienced, that's how it had gone — Hajin remembered Thirteen telling him.

"Like you said — you're still young. It's just the start."

But the Park Jaeyoung of right now, in the end, hadn't left Miro, and that choice would set off another butterfly effect in Park Jaeyoung's life too.

Hoping with all he had that that butterfly effect would come as a gentle, kind wind, Hajin stroked Jaeyoung's hair.

He said goodbye to sniffling Jaeyoung more times than he could count, each one hard to get out, and then Jaeyoung moved off to the eliminated seats.

Now, only two people were left on the stage.

"So then, all that remains is the final 7th-place announcement."

A tense BGM looped nonstop in the venue.

Hajin looked at Yugeon and Wonho standing on the stage with a heavy heart.

Whichever of the two got eliminated and whichever passed, Hajin's heart wasn't going to sit easy.

"In this moment, the trainee who will take the name of the final Kairos member is…."

Now that it comes up — Kang Hajin actually had a pretty sharp gut for these things.

He'd struggled to believe his own ranking too, held back by that what if, but the very fact that from the start he'd guessed 2nd might be him and not Yugeon was proof of his Sixth Sense.

What that means is….

"The 7th-place trainee, the last to debut, is. …Trainee Lee Yugeon."

…was that maybe, from the very beginning, he'd known this was how it would go.

Hajin, at last coming face to face with the goodbye he'd looked away from for so long, closed his eyes.

---

"…ah."

When his name wasn't called at the end, Wonho felt something inside him snap, all at once.

Finally.

People usually call that "your reason snapping" — but Wonho was a little different.

If he had to put the feeling right now into a word, it would be….

Release? Relief? Freedom?

I knew it'd end up like this.

Ah, yeah.

It was the feeling of hearing the last bell on an exam you'd prepared for over a very long time.

No way you were scoring in the top tier anyway,

already remembering the couple of answers you'd bubbled in on the wrong row,

and yeah, regretting a little the days you hadn't prepared properly,

but even so, the exam was over, and since you'd poured in everything you had on your own terms, there was nothing more you could do about it now — that kind of feeling.

Except when you tallied it up on the answer key, the score came out way better than expected, so you were dazed — and also thinking I should have pushed a little harder — that kind of rueful feeling.

"…uh, so, I mean, I really didn't even think it'd turn out this way…. Ah, what am I supposed to say."

Far off, he could see Yugeon giving rambling, jumbled remarks.

On the big screen, Yugeon's twin younger siblings — that he'd mentioned — and Yugeon's grandfather were sniffling back tears.

And beyond that, the six trainees whose debut was confirmed came into Wonho's view like a single photograph.

For sure…. I don't have the confidence.

Right up to the last second, he'd been holding onto a what if? hope, but in the end Wonho still couldn't picture himself standing over there as one group with them. Even if he'd gotten lucky and debuted, wouldn't he have felt his own inadequacy constantly among them, tormented by inferiority?

Once he thought that…. Wonho, once again, felt that this was the right result.

Nothing to blame anyone else for. I'm the one who didn't prepare.

Even blaming himself now for having slacked on practice back then wouldn't change the outcome.

Only now, having reached the finals, and only after being eliminated at final 8th in that finals.

Wonho, at last, was released from all of it and could get his old good cheer back.

Still…. it's a shame. I felt like I was only just starting to figure out my own shape.

The age of 19, in the idol world, was such a maddeningly vague, in-between border.

Old enough to debut right now, but at the same time a little late to be starting practice fresh.

Realizing he had to leave this Miro like the others, he felt a bit scared and a bit lost. Above all, what stung most was that he might never get another shot at a challenge like this.

Seok-hyung said he'd be going back to school.

Me…. I've only got a semester of school left now, and obviously I haven't prepped for college — so what do I do?

While these practical thoughts and worries came crashing in on Wonho, Yugeon had somehow already finished his remarks, and the mic came back around to him.

Wonho took the mic and stood in front of the camera.

And the moment he faced the huge crowd looking at him, this time — for real — something deep inside him gave way.

"…I."

The dam of feeling broke and swept through him like a tidal wave.

And in the wake of that tidal wave, what was left was what Wonho had, in the end, refused to face — his own true feelings.

"I wanted to go higher."

I wanted more.

I wanted to climb higher.

I wanted, like them, to make a stage that made people burn with excitement for someone.

Even if I knew perfectly well I was nowhere near enough to be in that spot.

"I knew perfectly well I wasn't enough…."

…even so, Wonho had just wanted to shine.

"I know that making it this far is already overwhelming, an honor. …but still."

I wanted to prove that the limit of the person I am sits somewhere higher.

"Still, I really did want to debut together with you all."

Wonho, right to the end, didn't cry.

Crying here too would feel too much like admitting that this really was where his limit ended, and he hated that.

Just in case tears might slip, he held his eyes wide open — and, keeping the smile steady, Wonho delivered what might be his last greeting to fans of his somewhere out there.

"…thank you, so much, for loving a me that even I couldn't love. For letting me get to dream. For cheering me on and loving me, the person that I am, right to the end…. Truly, thank you."

To Wonho's final greeting, the Destis — just for this moment — became one and sent applause his way.

Because everyone knew he was one of the trainees who'd had the hardest time of it all through Miro Maze.

Remarks done, Wonho and Yugeon stood together to move to the center of the stage.

The moment Yugeon saw Wonho, he made an expression there weren't words for, and Wonho gave that Yugeon a smile without a trace of self-interest.

"What's with the face? Someone watching would think you got cut and I got in."

"……."

"…congrats on debut, Lee Yugeon. Guess I'll have to buy the album?"

—…are you really not thinking about debut? At all?

—Told you, no. If you debut, I'll buy one album at least.

At Wonho throwing right back at him the exact line he'd said once in the practice room, Yugeon let out a small dumbfounded laugh. And even so, he looked at Wonho with a face like he was about to cry any second. On purpose, wearing an even bigger smile, Wonho teased Yugeon.

"When you do the concert, set aside a ticket for me. Hit me up if you need choreo ideas. You know I'm good at choreography, right? You even said so. Your little sib likes me too, right?"

"…yeah. And because of that, I'm gonna get beaten to death by Rangi when I get home. For debuting instead of you."

"That one's on you a bit — take about five hits, no defending."

At that Yugeon, in the end, laughed and nodded.

The two hugged each other once and walked toward the center stage where the trainees were.

Now it was time — one of them for the platform, the other for the eliminated seats.

"Kim Wonho."

And once he'd walked that very long, very short road and reached the stage where the trainees were.

The one who came out to the front to meet Wonho was, of all people, Hajin.

"…Kangha-hyung."

The truth was, Wonho had envied Hajin.

Even though they'd started from the same, or maybe even a much further-back, starting line.

Even though, tied together often as the month-end evaluation Group A and Kang-Lee-Kim-z, they'd been loved as a pair.

At some point, the moment the gap between himself and Hajin actually became visible right in front of his eyes, he could no longer look at Hajin as easily as before. It was purely his own inferiority.

"…so we ended up not being able to debut together and be roommates in the end. Shame. If I'd known, maybe I should have just goofed off with you hard this past week."

To himself — whose limits were so clearly marked out — he'd sometimes even wanted to avoid Hajin, who kept telling him he could do more. Every time he listened to what Hajin said, he'd swell up with hope as if he were actually somebody, and that had, maybe, been a little too much to carry.

Even so, in this moment, with all of it now past, Wonho was realizing how empty a thought that had been.

Because right in front of his eyes, Hajin was coming toward him with a face more heartbroken than anyone's.

"Congrats on debut, hyung. I had a feeling you'd do great."

"…me too."

With an expression you couldn't tell was anger or sadness, Hajin blurted out his opening line.

Then, biting down hard to keep from crying, red-eyed, he looked at Wonho.

"…I wanted to debut with you too."

Just — stats or whatever, none of that mattered.

Just — with a little brother I liked.

I wanted to debut with you, who'd been there with me all the way from the month-end evaluations, was what he wanted to say.

Wonho would never in his life get to hear the words Hajin swallowed.

Even so, in this exact moment. Wonho could tell, at least, that what Hajin was trying to convey to him was real.

Wonho, breaking into a wide smile, answered Hajin's words with all the sincerity in him.

"…yeah. Me too."

'Kim Wonho' is 'reacting' to you. (Reaction rate 92.3%) 'Kim Wonho' is available for recruitment. Recruit? (Y/N)

Hajin, with a face like he might cry any second, held out against the tears right to the end and pulled Wonho into a hug.

Wonho, holding Hajin back in turn, broke into a wide, glad smile.

---

The finals ended like that.

Day slipped into evening, and stars lit up the sky.

But that didn't mean our time, too, had come to an end.

title: Sudden Quest! content: The basics of an idol group are teamwork! Let's clear the air between team members and take some time to hear each other's real feelings. It might just be the chance to look back at your own heart too? success reward: — Unexpected fortune (butterfly effect) Reward being received.

A very kind wind was blowing, toward all of them.