Chapter 190

Around the time the Destis were cheering over a teaser they hadn't seen coming, I was, alongside the Kairos members, enduring a hellish schedule to churn out the next teaser.

"Good work, guys. We've got some travel time to the studio, so you can nap if you want. Anyone hungry, there's snacks on the seats."

The moment choreo practice ended, half the members hauling themselves into the van had their eyes closed and the other half looked checked out entirely. The schedule was brutal enough that even I — with 70% of my military-service stamina drained — was barely holding on.

I was just trying to hunt Retty down…

Couldn't hunt Retty, couldn't stop the regressions — and here I was, turning into a hardcore idol.

Was this really okay?

Carrying a question no one could answer for me, I leaned my head against the window the second I sat down and shut my eyes. Retty or whatever, I had to sleep first.

"…ah."

"You first."

Just as I was on the edge of falling asleep, a small commotion at the van's doorway made me pry my eyelids up to see what was going on. And there stood our two moody nineteen-year-olds, facing each other awkwardly. Looked like they'd tangled up trying to board the van at the same time.

I've got to give that married-couple squabble a nudge at the right moment…

But even my innate meddling streak was no match for exhaustion. If I couldn't lift a finger with Selreg Dan Haru sitting right in front of me, how was a lovers' spat going to make the list?

In the end, as I shut my eyes and played oblivious, Seo Taehyun — who'd climbed into the van first — scanned the seats and silently came to sit next to me. I leaned right over onto him and, in a troubled voice, said:

"Hah. Taehyunie. If you keep making it this obvious that you like me, it's going to be a problem."

"…I really hate it most when you're like this, hyung."

"I know. That's why I do it. …ah!"

Even about to fall over from exhaustion, I couldn't help ribbing Seo Taehyun — until Seo Taehyun, thoroughly pissed off, thumped my arm. Sleep flung right out of me from the pain; as I curled up in agony, Seo Taehyun snickered as if to say serves you right, put on his headphones, and closed his eyes.

While I was still in pain, I locked eyes with Lee Yugeon, boarding the van a beat late. Lee Yugeon glanced at me and Seo Taehyun beside me, then wordlessly moved to the back and claimed a seat. Which pried apart the maknae — cozily asleep in the back row with their heads propped against each other — jostling them awake on either side.

"Ah, hyu-uung…"

"Lean on me and sleep."

"Kay…"

Sleep-fogged and about to fuss at being jostled, Ju Eunchan and Dan Haru just leaned onto Lee Yugeon's shoulders at his one line and dropped straight back asleep.

What. Hypnotist?

He'd raised his twin siblings solo since childhood, apparently — the little-kid-handling skill was practically master-craftsman tier.

Once all the members were seated, the van slowly began to move. I leaned against the window again and watched the scenery slip past in real time. One stinging whack from Seo Taehyun had already knocked any sleep clean out of me.

"…nice weather."

Lee Doha, the two nineteen-year-olds — all of them.

I'd thought I'd lived long enough to have some handle on things, and yet the stuff between people was still hard.

I even wondered — if I couldn't come up with a fix for a conflict this small, would I actually have anything to offer once Dan Haru's Selreg personality finally showed up?

What would someone like Seo Taeil — who's hit max level at life — have done?

Not too long ago, the way Seo Taeil had marched Lee Doha's runaway mental clean back home had made quite an impression on me too.

Since that day, I'd been running into Seo Taeil more often for debut-track recording, and every time, I felt again that his read on people really wasn't ordinary. Something like — he'd get as clear a read on someone's personality and tendencies as he could, then swap out his directing style to fit them. That kind of thing.

Might just be second nature to someone who's spent thirteen years surviving on his read of the room in this cutthroat industry…

I got curious — if someone like him had been in my situation, how would he have handled the Selreg and Retty? And on top of that, what exactly was he seeing in me when he said we were alike.

…Like Seo Taeil.

Could I become someone like Seo Taeil?

Along with another question swelling up in my chest, I lost the fight with exhaustion and fell asleep.

---

And a few hours later.

I realized this was no time to be sitting around thinking about Lee Yugeon or Seo Taeil.

"…today was the profile shoot?"

"…? Yes."

At my hollow question, Ju Eunchan — massaging his face with a face roller while sipping a de-puffing tea — nodded.

I'm screwed?

The blazing shoot lights and reflectors piled on top of my despair.

Dance, singing, rap, acting.

Everything else, I could do well — but when it came to getting my photo taken, I still hadn't turned up so much as a speck of talent! On top of which, Thirteen was out of office at the moment, so skill usage was on a leash too.

Back on MRMZ it was whatever-happens-happens, but now this is my bread and butter.

Break it down and this was basically taking the ID photo you paste onto a résumé for a job application.

But what happens if I can't nail that?

Well, what do you think — I don't get the job!

Following the manager-hyung's lead, we got hauled into the waiting room and, one by one, sat down in front of the mirror for makeup and styling.

"Hajin. Can you come out for a sec?"

"Yes? Me?"

There were only three seats for makeup, so I was sitting on the couch behind them, thinking about how to handle this profile shoot today, when Ji Suho — who'd been outside — came into the waiting room and quietly called me out.

Wondering what was up, I followed him out. After a brief look around, Ji Suho lowered his voice as if to warn me.

"The photographer shooting today, um…. he's great at what he does, but he's a little sensitive. Pretty picky about poses and vibe."

I glanced past Ji Suho into the studio — the crew was busily setting up backgrounds and equipment. In the middle of it, a middle-aged man in a beret and scarf was going over the day's concept with the A&R team.

"But today, since it's kind of a debut-prep behind-the-scenes thing, there's also a making-of crew attached, so there's a lot of people. A lot of cameras too."

"Ah. That's why."

I'd been wondering why a single profile shoot needed this many people and this big a studio — with two or three cameras running at a time on top of that.

As I was nodding to show I'd followed what Ji Suho said, Ji Suho, with a slightly troubled expression, drilled it in.

"The guys have done Miro Maze at least once, so there's that…. but this is still their first time, so I think they're all pretty nervous. I'm telling you in advance because it'd help if you kept an eye on the members so they don't get thrown, Hajin."

"Ah…. yes, got it."

I understood what Ji Suho was saying, so for the moment I nodded.

The one problem being that of all of us, I was probably the most nervous one myself….

"But — he's really that difficult?"

"Huh? Ah, no, not — difficult isn't quite the word…. just a bit, kind of unique? Yeah. Unique vibe. He's not actually a bad person."

Wait, didn't you just say sensitive?

Anyway, after passing on the intel about this apparently-not-your-average photographer, Ji Suho pushed me back into the waiting room. Makeup on the first three seemed to already be done — another three were now seated in front of the vanity.

Maybe because of what Ji Suho had said, the cameras planted around the waiting room started catching my eye.

One full-cam mount in the corner of the waiting room, three Big-Cs at the vanity, and one handheld to cover the full-cam's blind spot around the couch — five total.

…does a making-of usually run this many cameras?

Is Miro loaded? Well, going by the new HQ they built, they seemed to have money….

But normally it's just one or two making-of people, isn't it?

Just as I was working up some doubt about the camera count, Dan Haru — done with prep — came trotting up to me.

"Hajin-hyung! They said you wear this next."

"Ah. Thanks."

The moment I took the clothes Dan Haru was holding out, my worry over the profile shoot mounted right back up mountain-high. In keeping with a profile shoot, the first outfit was the most standard combo: a white short-sleeved tee and jeans.

A basic outfit has no obvious way to fail, but the basics are always the hardest. If the outfit's flashy, you can lean on the clothes and hand-wave through it — but this? This left me with nothing to fall back on but my face and however photogenic I turned out to be!

"Guys. Once you're all prepped, we're going into test shots in ten. Don't get tense, keep those face muscles loose."

"Yup!"

"Yeah."

At Ji Suho's announcement, the members and staff started picking up the pace. Not long after, I got my makeup done and changed clothes too. Coming out in a fit-hugging white short-sleeved tee and dark jeans, one of the stylists came over to polish the details.

Turned out I was the last — by the time I finished putting on my shoes and stepped out, the members were sitting in the waiting room waiting for the call. Instinctively counting heads — one, two, three — I hit six including me. One missing. Quickly running through who it might be, I asked Jung Siwoo in front of me:

"Where's Seo Taehyun? He went to shoot?"

"Yeah. They pulled him for a test shoot just now."

Seo Taehyun leading off? I'm screwed.

"Ah. Everyone come here for a sec. Got something to say."

Since I had a moment, I called the members over to pass on what Ji Suho had told me. Just as I was about to carefully brief the guys who'd naturally gathered around me and Jung Siwoo —

A loud voice carried in from the studio outside the waiting room.

"Bravo! Gorgeous! Excellent! You're my muse, baby!"

…muse what?

"That was from outside just now, right…?"

At Ju Eunchan's question, we rushed out of the waiting room.

There, in the studio's photo zone — draped in white chroma-key — was Seo Taehyun, mid-test-shoot.

What could he have possibly shot to pull a 'perfect' out of a sensitive, picky photographer?

None of us could hold back the curiosity, and we all moved in for a closer look. Seo Taehyun's hair — dyed black and straight for the profile shoot — swayed gently in the AC breeze. Standing face-on to the camera, Seo Taehyun blinked once — and the photographer fired off a rapid burst of flashes before shouting again:

"Perfect! Absolutely perfect! Such a beautiful straight line!"

"…he was just standing there facing forward, wasn't he?"

Jung Siwoo asked, voice baffled. Since even I saw it the same way, I couldn't come back with much of anything either.

Just then, Seo Taehyun — standing in the photo zone with an expression as dumbstruck as ours, taking the photographer's praise — spotted us.

What did you do?

I mimed the question of what the hell did you do? with mouth shapes and hand gestures. Seo Taehyun caught my meaning perfectly, gave a small shake of his head with a nearly-crying expression, and shrugged.

I don't know. He just says everything's great.

And our beret-wearing photographer captured even that shrug on camera and shouted again:

"Gracias! Ah, this expression — I'm just enchanted."

Sensitive? Picky?

But you said he was good at his job?

…Isn't he just a lunatic?

The members' eyes drifted, with nowhere to land.