Chapter 51

"No wa—"

Catching what I was about to blurt out just in time, I reflexively clapped a hand over my mouth. Pull it together, Kang Hajin. You're mic'd.

'But how does this make any sense?'

Losing the team match, sure — but losing on individual score wasn't something I could easily swallow. Right off the bat, I could feel the other trainees around me, unable to hide their shock, whispering to each other. And that wasn't the only weird thing.

'Han Seongwoo scored higher than Lee Yugeon or Kim Wonho?'

Han Seongwoo? The guy who'd been pulling that rascal grin in the middle of a pack of wistful-crisp geniuses? Short of the entire mentor panel losing their minds at once, no way.

Flash—

And in that instant, along with that same goddamn flicker, I was back in the men's bathroom. The sudden shift must have set off some kind of motion sickness — my stomach lurched, and I grabbed the nearest toilet and heaved.

And as if to mock me for it, the still-red System window popped up again with a sparking crackle.

You said you could stop the kid, didn't you?

'The kid' probably meant the Selreg — the center of this whole god-awful fantasy.

Then you'll have to try a lot harder. If a failed life like yours wants a shot at turning it all around, you'll have to work for it.

"What did you say, you punk?"

Am I wrong?

The world flipped over again in a blink. My vision spun like I was on a 360-degree loop of a roller coaster. Blood rushed to my head under the nausea rolling in.

"This little — keep dragging me around like—!"

Want me to send you back, then?

And I was — back.

"…Where is this."

Phone in my hand.

Body buried in a blanket.

Room with the lights off.

Want to go back?

Kang Hajin, twenty-nine.

Nobody looking for him,

nothing he could {do.}(#3twvvozvbox8)

See. You don't actually want to go back.

Red text hovered in the air. No longer wearing the shape of the System, 'it' etched letter after letter slowly, deliberately, as if mocking Hajin, who was checking over his own body with a bewildered face.

Hajin. You know it too. That all of it is pointless. You're going to fail again anyway. That's your fixed future.

Fixed future. At those words, Hajin's expression noticeably hardened.

I'm helping you, Hajin. I really do want you to be happy.

"That's some grand happiness you're wishing on me, Reddy."

label: Reddy I'll give you another option.

Another flip of the field of view. A space of pure nothingness — you couldn't even call it darkness — unfurled. Above it, countless stars drifted, glittering.

No — those weren't stars. They were memories.

Every moment Hajin remembered.

label: Reddy I'll let you do it too. Regression.

"What?"

label: Reddy I'm pretty close with 'the kid.' All I have to do is borrow a little bit of his timeline.

"So I could regress endlessly too? Like the Selreg?"

label: Reddy Want a hint?

"No, I'm good. Whatever you're offering, it doesn't sit right somehow."

label: Reddy Do you know why 'the kid' keeps regressing?

Oh. That's a little tempting. Hajin muttered to himself.

label: Reddy Because he's unhappy. His life has always been unhappy.

The scattered memory-stars instantly rearranged themselves, wrapping around Hajin. Happy moments; the memories he'd sworn he'd treasure if he ever went back — they all began playing at once.

label: Reddy You didn't even really want to be an idol, did you? Even if you live it over, you won't debut. Even if you did, you couldn't succeed. So just go back! To the moment of your choice. Live a life of endless happiness.

The memory-stars sparkled. They shone beautifully, as if calling out to him. Hajin just watched all of it.

Countless moments were gathered there. Steps of his own life Hajin had, for quite a long time, forgotten.

"…And what do you get out of that?"

label: Reddy I told you. I want you to be happy.

"……"

label: Reddy What's there to hesitate about? This is your one chance.

"What do I have to do?"

label: Reddy Easy. Just say okay. I'll handle the rest. You've always been like that, haven't you? Don't even think — just YES! Same as always!

Hajin stared at the red letters. Even though they were nothing but shapeless text, he had the feeling they were pulling at him. And only after staring at them endlessly, endlessly, did Hajin finally speak.

"You — want me to regress, don't you?"

label: Reddy That's what I've been saying!

"No, different. You need me to regress."

Every motion in the world froze.

"You want me to regress — however it happens — so I give up this idol trainee life."

Hajin took a step forward. The memory-stars wrapped around him popped away like bubbles, and darkness filled the space again.

Hajin spoke.

"You."

label: Reddy ……

"Scared, aren't you? That I'll actually stop him."

label: Reddy ……

"That the regressions'll stop."

Like everything had just clicked into place, Hajin smiled.

So it had been off from the start.

Off how? This bastard's whole attitude.

'I can't even tell if he's on my side or the other side.'

Talks like he's helping me, but everything he actually does runs the other way. Slinging words like defeat, failure, pathetic to gaslight someone — plenty of that at my old job, so I could spot it a mile off.

Whatever he was, that bastard wasn't on my side.

"That's why you keep trying to scare me. Because I need to run."

"Why? Why now. It's been over a month since I jumped into this whole thing to stop that guy — why show up now?"

I stepped slowly toward the letters floating in the air. Wouldn't shut up a minute ago — now that I'd hit the mark, not a new line of text.

I began, slowly, to look back over what I'd been up to since my regression. The one thing every single quest had shared was one penalty.

'Regression probability increase.'

Fortunately, up to now I'd cleared every quest reasonably smoothly, and for over a month my fifth-life run had been rolling along without trouble. Which meant—

"He didn't regress. Because of me."

The changes I'd been making were clearly affecting that Selreg bastard.

"Idiot. When someone hits the mark, first thing you do is deny it flat."

"You go this quiet and I catch on right away."

"You got scared, didn't you? Of me."

That was when it happened. The frozen space tore like paper, and in an instant, cracks ran through everything.

System restore complete. WARNING WARNING An 'intruder' has been detected. Security program engaged…. Fixed Regressor's timeline deviation confirmed. Restoring normal operation.

"Hey — good to see you, you bastard!"

The familiar System window popped up over and over, filling the dark space. It had only been a few hours, but it felt like days — good to have you back, seriously.

Correcting Fixed Regressor's timeline….

I could feel the space collapsing as the timeline snapped back into shape. For a beat I lost my balance and went down, but it didn't feel like I was going to fall off into anywhere in particular, so I just curled up and covered my head. Whatever — as long as my skull doesn't crack, right.

Creak—

After a long time shaking, the space settled — and through the fractures, a door appeared. Flashing a bright blue over and over, obviously saying open me and step through. I glanced over at the System, confirmed no serious pushback, and reached for the handle without hesitation.

label: Reddy Even if you go back, you'll fail. That's your future. Don't you want to live inside a happy memory?

Last-ditch flailing, apparently — Reddy hammered out letters in front of me one more time. Living forever inside a happy memory. Eternal happiness inside eternal youth. Really — who could turn down that offer easily?

But I'd already made up my mind, and I had no time left to hesitate.

"Y'know, my mom told me, if I'm gonna do this, go get first place."

"But thinking about it — my mom would say it's fine even if I came in dead last."

"…So it's fine."

—Mom knows you're good.

—And it's fine with mom even if you're not good.

That Selreg kid supposedly kept regressing 'because he was unhappy.'

I've been on the receiving end of a few regressions, so I know — the stuff that's going to happen is going to happen anyway.

Which means a tomorrow where the failure's already behind you beats a yesterday where you're about to meet another one — way better for your mental health, is what I'm saying.

"So piss off. I've got to go see my mom."

I waved off the noisy red letters with a lazy sweep of my hand and threw the door open without flinching. My head spun, my stomach turned, and my vision scrambled — much like before.

Pop—! Pop pop!

When I came to, it honestly felt like I'd just woken up from sleep. Hot stage lights swept relentlessly around, and a tension-loaded BGM filled the set. A scene I'd already watched once.

"You who would touch the sun — fly high. Your journey to become Miro's Icarus!"

I was, once again, standing in the middle of the studio, recording in full swing.

---

"Hajin, what's up with you? You sick or something?"

"…No, just nerves."

How the hell did this modern fantasy end up in my life. The déjà vu was so sharp I didn't have the energy to react. Hey, at least give me a second to breathe.

…Was busy stitching the timeline back together. Sorry.

'Whatever, punk. Thanks to you, I made it.'

At the System's clumsy little line — never happier to hear it — a small laugh slipped out.

You. I'll take good care of you from here.

"Alright, then. Miro Maze first mission, Daylight! Announcing the results for both teams!"

A future I already knew unfolded. Turns out I'm not much of a regressor by temperament — rewatching what I'd already seen was a little dull, a little boring.

'But I can't exactly doze through it.'

I shifted my gaze and looked at Han Seongwoo, standing diagonally across from me, waiting for the result. Hands clasped in a prayer gesture, playing up how nervous he was — anyone watching would take him for a dependable eldest hyung praying for his team's win.

"Yes, out of a possible 500 points, 472 to 486 — Team B wins! Congratulations!"

"No way!"

"Oh my god, we won! We won!"

Amid the guys shrieking in shock, I clapped a hand over my mouth and pulled a can't-believe-it face. Earlier it was a first, so the shock had just blanked me — but with a result I already knew, there wasn't anything left to be shocked by. Just had to squeeze it for all it was worth.

'A win's a win. Any extra shot I can get lands as a plus.'

I didn't force myself into the mess of Team B guys losing it, hugging each other and going wild. I quietly steadied my own reaction alone, then acted like the tension had drained out of me, dropped my head, and gripped the railing.

'Overdoing it isn't going to help either.'

"Hajin."

I turned toward the voice — Seok, choked up, was already standing next to me with a face gone half-red.

"Good work. Thank you. Because of you."

"…Come on, if anything, it's because of you, hyung."

He'd been carrying his own quiet weight through this. For that one moment, I stopped thinking about the cameras and walked over to him and clapped his shoulder. Calling you a no-hope up front — my apologies, hyung-nim.

"Alright, but the contest isn't over yet. Before we announce the Wings-class placements decided by your final rankings, let's first check the battlers' results."

Seo Taeil's lead-in — the one I'd been force-skipped past 'earlier' (not sure 'earlier' is technically the right word) — came through. Lee Yugeon and Kim Wonho's results rolled past, and now it was my turn.

"Next: 7th-ranked trainee Han Seongwoo versus 10th-ranked trainee Kang Hajin. Announcing the result!"

The scoreboard I'd already seen rolled around. Like I couldn't bear to watch, I covered my face with both hands. And through the small gap between my slightly parted fingers, I fixed on one person.

〈Han Seongwoo (93.15) WIN! VS Kang Hajin (92.99)〉

"…Trainee Han Seongwoo, with 93.15 points, edged out trainee Kang Hajin by 0.16 points to win the battle. Congratulations."

And I saw it.

Before the score had even finished landing on the scoreboard — Han Seongwoo, already smiling.