Chapter 55

To be fair, Kang Hajin did have room for an excuse.

'I've always been the one behind the camera, not in front of it.'

After I'd quit being a trainee, for over ten years I hadn't properly stood in front of a camera. And once I'd bulked up a bit from all the lazing around during my jobseeker days, I hadn't even liked taking selfies.

Dancing and singing — I'd kept doing that ever since, so no awkwardness there.

'But a shoot where you have to openly play up how handsome you are — different story.'

And right now, the handicap was doubled.

Mental Care System is active. Skill use is currently unavailable due to system update. Affected skills — 〈Just As I Say〉 (LV.6), 〈Behold with the Dragon's Eye〉 (LV.3)

Because of this damn Mental Care, my emotional expressions weren't coming out right — and now the 〈Just As I Say〉 skill that could've patched that was unavailable too.

'Went to all the trouble of leveling it up, and now what's the point if I can't use it!'

Which is how I ended up trapped in the fantasy of retaking my high-school senior yearbook photo about six hundred times, building my own irreversible cringe archive.

"Wow… this hyung is in serious trouble."

"Quiet, he'll hear."

I can hear you, punks.

I didn't even have the energy to glare at Kim Wonho and Seo Taehyun, planted squarely in front of the monitor, unable to hide their amazement.

"Alright, alright. Hajin-gun, let's not make this so hard on ourselves. Easy, easy. Let's smile. Naturally."

A shoot, in the end, comes down to stamina and time. And I alone was eating up several minutes — how was I supposed to feel at ease?

'Guess the AD mindset is baked in.'

I tried smiling as naturally as I could at the photographer's patient coaxing, but something that wasn't working wasn't going to suddenly work just because I tried again. I glanced at the trainee guys milling around waiting for their turn — since I was up next — and finally shook my head.

"Sir, I'll just go with what we've got so far."

"Huh? No, no, Hajin-gun. You can do it!"

"There are a lot of guys waiting behind me, and I feel like I'm eating up too much time."

At my pleading, apparently sharing the concern, the photographer checked the time and schedule with the staff.

Honestly, given the time slot they'd budgeted, I wasn't creating some massive delay. The shoot was just so simple that the guys ahead had wrapped fast, and now I was getting compared.

So even if I threw a fit right there, said this couldn't stand, and took another fifty shots on my own, no one could really fault me for it, but—

'Same face — not like it'd suddenly change even if I did.'

I'd never been that fond of other people taking photos of me anyway. Sure, since it'd be a pre-release face reveal, coming out handsome would obviously be nice — but the visuals that'd drag in buzz were elsewhere.

"Whoa, Siwoo-hyung just naturally looks like a magazine spread."

"Look at Ju Eunchan, insane."

"Still, can't beat the veterans. Seo Taehyun — the staff noonas were taking his photos earlier."

Those punks would haul plenty of aggro before the first broadcast — a profile photo from me could just get glossed over.

"Hmm, felt like we were close if we'd kept going a little more — shame."

"Come on, sir, without you I wouldn't have even gotten this much. You're my savior."

"…Tsk. Alright, then. Good work!"

After bowing again and again to the photographer, who'd worked so hard oiling up a broken robot, I finally escaped that prison of a photo zone. By the time I made my way over to the monitor for photo selection, the crowd of onlookers had grown.

"Kangha-hyung, seriously reconsider. Is this really the best? This is a form of fraud too."

"Dude, how do you say that straight to someone's face?"

"Both of you — could you just disappear? Lee Doha, why are you here again?"

"Prep wrapped up quickly."

Lee Doha, about to sweep his hair back out of habit, remembered his hair had been neatly set with spray and awkwardly let his hand drop. Having finished his profile photos ages ago, he was already in his personal-concept outfit. Looked like a concept meant to properly show off his solid physique. Head to toe in sporty athletic wear, the guy even had a basketball tucked under his arm.

'Fair enough — this punk did seem to have decent athletic instincts.'

But then why the hell couldn't he dance? As I was pondering that inexplicable body of his, I met eyes again with Lee Doha, who'd been staring straight at me.

"Ah, what. Why. Why do you keep staring."

"…Just wondering if you'd changed your mind."

"What?"

"Weren't you going to go for it?"

The pure curiosity in his voice left me, unexpectedly, without a comeback. This punk never gives you time to raise your guard — then socks you in the solar plexus with his words.

"What. I can't hold up the whole line just to get a life-shot on my own. Come on, over a profile photo?"

"……"

"I didn't give up. I didn't half-ass it, I swear."

"Then it's fine."

Lee Doha nodded like he understood. Why the hell does this punk like me so much.

I shook my head, uncomprehending, right as the photo zone must have finished resetting — a staffer called for the next up.

"Alright, next. Seo Taehyun-gun?"

"Yes!"

"Hey — is that really the guy right after me? Come on."

Ease up on the noob-slaughter. You show-stealing ex-Cherry Boy '82%-eyes-on-you' punk. Whose bright idea was this shot order?

The moment he stepped into the photo zone, Seo Taehyun greeted the crew with practiced ease, loosening the mood. The way he checked lighting and props was not ordinary. Heard he'd done a lot of child modeling when he was little — the veteran seasoning, apparently.

'Why the hell didn't this guy make it in his past life?'

This place is packed with punks I can't figure out no matter how hard I try. I watched Seo Taehyun's shoot for a bit longer — bravos coming out from the first cut — then turned to leave.

"I'm heading in."

"What, hyung, you're not picking your photos?"

"Whatever I pick, it's a dud."

Ten shots, all ten wrecked — what's there to pick…

"Kang Hajin."

"……?"

"You. Talk with me for a sec."

Han Seongwoo caught me in the hallway on the way back to the waiting room. Coming to me first — must be pretty rattled.

I nodded readily and followed him. Han Seongwoo, apparently having scouted the location already, led me through the set hallway with practiced ease and shoved me into an empty waiting room.

"You. How much do you know?"

"Well, quite a lot, actually. Want me to list it all off for you?"

"You — fuck. Don't be a smartass, before I stomp you flat."

"Wow, someone's got a serious persecution complex~ How was I being a smartass, hyung."

I was deliberately being obnoxious. Han Seongwoo blew out a frustrated hoo and folded his arms. Pretty defensive posture.

I pushed off the wall I'd been leaning on. Han Seongwoo — about a hand shorter than me — stepped back.

"…What do you want?"

Finally, to the point. Wearing my most punchable face, I looked down at Han Seongwoo and said:

"So hyung — you really do have backing, right?"

"What?"

"I mean, come on. With good backing, why haven't you debuted yet — why are you stuck like this?"

I shrugged and smiled with a genuinely-don't-get-it look.

"Honestly, it's not that impressive backing, is it? I mean — if it were that great I was gonna ask for a ride myself, but…."

"……"

"Turns out no."

"Don't get cute. You want to get cut like the other kids?"

"Haha, how would you manage that, hyung? Hyung, you hate Ju Eunchan, and even you couldn't cut him. His family's just too impressive."

"……"

"It's not like this is some survival run by a broadcasting station — having one PD in your pocket, what changes? Ah, do you get better edits? For that — well, every time you show up, I'll probably show up once too. We're a full-blown rival setup."

How's that, pride stung?

"I mean, losing the battle was kind of unfair… but in the end we won the team battle. Ah — but hyung, you were seriously petty."

Getting pissed?

"If you won the team battle too, the top-ranked kids would keep their standings — so you deliberately let us have the team battle, didn't you? Better for you if the bottom-ranked kids briefly climbed than for Ju Eunchan to make Wings class."

Want to stomp me? Insufferable, right?

"Well, I mean…."

Want to break me and hold me down no matter what?

"That's the only way you win. Nothing to be done, I guess."

I looked down at Han Seongwoo — his face seriously twisted, blocking my path — and smiled brightly. Then I strolled past him leisurely, patting his shoulder as I went.

"Give it your best, hyung. I'll play dumb for you."

Praying, earnestly, that my provocation would flip Han Seongwoo's eyeballs clean over.

---

Left alone in the waiting room after Hajin disappeared, Han Seongwoo couldn't hold back the rising fury.

"Ah, fuck!"

He kicked the chair beside him over with a bang, and even then his anger didn't cool.

"That worthless little bastard!"

That guy was the problem. All of it. Ever since Kang Hajin came in, not a single thing had gone the way he wanted!

"Bad enough the Director got booted and we ended up with this shitty survival show…."

Under the original plan, he'd have walked out of Miro with the Director and a few debut-group candidates and been methodically walking the debut track at a new agency.

'Ju Eunchan being in that debut group was fucked, sure — but after debut he'd have squeezed the sweet juice out of him and dumped him, so it wouldn't have mattered!'

When he'd asked to be sent to a different agency, his father had come down on him with fury.

—Do you have any idea how much that Son Hyunggu bastard has cost me right now!?

—For now, you keep your head down. If you're really that set on this song-and-dance nonsense, then produce results there, one way or another.

—And what's there to be proud of, losing to other guys while doing something like that.

From that point on, everything started going sideways. He'd just wanted to debut with a decent enough justification and live comfortably as a hot boy-idol — nothing was easy. And Han Seongwoo did not like this situation one bit.

Still furious, Han Seongwoo made a call.

"PD-nim, are you kidding me right now?"

—Hey, you! I told you not to call me directly like this!

"Is that really the issue right now? You should've knocked that Kang Hajin bastard clean out of the show!"

He unloaded his rage on the person on the other end without holding back, but CP Yoon — far older than Han Seongwoo — couldn't say a word back. Because he'd taken a hefty bribe from Han Seongwoo's father in exchange for looking after the son.

—Even getting you the win took everything I had. That was the best I could do! You won anyway, didn't you.

"Whatever — go find out what the next mission is."

—What?

"Can't do that either? After making a fool of me by not being able to pull one title track out early?"

—No, that was Seo Taeil, the bastard locked security down tight….

"So you can't do this either? Then what can PD-nim actually do?"

—Ah, ah. Alright, alright. Script meeting's this week — I'll check then and let you know.

Faced with the young master's unusually harsh tone, CP Yoon ended up tucking his tail. The second he got that reply, Han Seongwoo hung up. An act with zero consideration for the other person's mood or attitude.

"That Kang Hajin fucker…."

—Give it your best, hyung. I'll play dumb for you.

Hajin's voice, mocking him with that shameless grin, kept looping in his head.

'Give it my best to win?'

Think I can't? Han Seongwoo's teeth ground sharp against each other.