06. The Craziest Bastard in This Place Is Me (1)

Eighty-five percent? I couldn't even laugh.

"Everyone will be along in a bit — actually, they've already had a look at your audition footage once."

What was this, the craziest bastard on the turf? Was this a joke?

"Today it'll be pretty simple — a quick skill check, and a lot of questions to get to know you better, Hajin."

Send me through the army twice, throw me into idol trainee life, and now I'm defusing bombs too?

"Hajin?"

Clearly they hadn't seen a real crazy bastard. Anyone crazier than me — a guy who regressed mid-college-entrance-exam into the army and woke up back in senior year — step right up. Let's trade lives.

"Hajin? Excuse me."

"Oh, sorry. I think I got a little nervous. I didn't sleep a wink last night…"

"Oh no, you didn't sleep? Poor thing, no need for that."

Damn it. Blindsided by the sudden regression update, I'd spaced out and lost the room for a second. I hurriedly slapped on my capitalism smile and locked back in on the conversation.

Luckily, both Chief Jang and Miro's Manager Kim seemed to read it as "teenager nerves on the brink of his dream," and nodded in a "sure, that happens" kind of way.

"By the way, Hajin, did you get your hair done? Your image feels a little different from the audition."

"Right? He comes across stronger than he did in the audition footage."

Making the allowance I'd blown on the expensive haircut and new clothes feel worth it, the two of them brought up my styling and laid on the flattery.

I couldn't exactly own up here and say, "Yes, dropped some money on it for exactly this — how'd I do?" — better to feign a little bashfulness.

"Thank you. I wanted to make a good impression, so I put some effort in."

"The more I look, the more he really fits. He absolutely has to come to our agency."

At Manager Kim laughing and looking at me like I was a good kid, I nearly blurted out "obviously." But obviously. The styling had been sniper-aimed at Miro.

Let's take a look at the Miro chart in my Excel sheet.

⟨[Miro Ent]

Artists: Upia, Project W (disbanded), Enderway

Characteristics: A mecca for skill-heavy male idols, known for putting serious work into concepts and music. With Enderway now firmly established, prepping the next group as part of a full-scale company expansion.⟩

…that info I picked up while lurking on stock communities. In my past lives, junior groups had actually debuted around this time too. What mattered more, though, was what came next.

⟨Direction: ☆Seems to favor "looks intense as hell" as the starting point☆⟩

Idols out of Miro Ent had a tagline passed down through the generations. "The my-way of the music scene."

title: [Lanion vs. Endup character interpretations, dying] - (gif of Lanion stage in school uniforms) (gif of Endup stage in school uniforms) Lanion: the popular kid at school Endup: the kid who barely shows up at school LOLOLOL truly Upia's juniors, the OG my-way idols LOLOLOL - Cha Minseok: you'd think student council president but he's actually the mastermind - Choi Yeonwoo: the mastermind's muscle > dying at "muscle" LOLOLOLOLOL > what is this character interp LOLOLOLOL - omg but Lanion ;;; visuals I want to get tangled up with so bad > what about Endup? > my arms and legs would get tangled up with them > why are your arms and legs getting tangled

Since Upia — the company's first-gen group — had cemented such a strong-character image, they seemed to be pushing it as a company-wide identity. Every concept they put out ran intense, and their ambitions on the music side ran high; they seemed to prize stage-devouring skill and charisma over conventional idol looks.

'I was worried the piercings might come off as bratty, but looks like it's fine.'

At a place like Rene — with the capital and know-how to cut a raw stone into a jewel — showing up decked out in something that wasn't really your style or theirs would just drop you to Hopeful #1524. Might as well go clean and neat and make them wonder, "What would this kid look like styled up?" — that was the call, so I'd gone easy on both hair and outfit that time…

'Showing up to dressed like that, though — audition or no, you'd be out before they even looked at you.'

Miro was different. Fortunately, thanks to my single-eyelid, sharp-cornered eyes, I was confident I wouldn't come across as an easy mark. The moment the Miro audition was scheduled, I reopened my closed-up piercings and had my hair — which had just been growing long — cut into layers.

When you're young, you don't know what suits you, so you cycle through whatever's in fashion — undercuts, wolf cuts, whatever. But I was a guy with a solid decade-plus of experience wrestling with my own face and hair. Past life and current life combined, the hairstyle that suited me best and the timeless streetwear look — those didn't miss.

"Oh, they'll be here soon, they said. Get ready, Hajin."

"Got it."

"Don't be nervous!"

Cheered on by Chief Jang, who somehow looked more nervous than I did, I stepped into the recording booth. It was an audition method I'd never seen — apparently Miro sometimes had you record a section of an existing artist's track like this.

'She said it's to see how well you take direction?'

That was absurd. This wasn't a debut team test — direction on a clueless trainee hopeful, seriously? I stepped into the booth, put on the headphones, and thought:

'This is a pressure interview.'

Chief Jang had made it sound like Miro was pretty into me — but if this was how the first meeting was going to go.

title: Single Quest 02. 'The Craziest Bastard on This Turf Is Me!' You've entered (or are about to enter) Miro. Weather the suffocating politics and rivalries playing out inside, meet the allies who'll help you, and debut successfully. (Defusing the hidden bombs lowers regression probability and raises quest success rate.)

Looked like the first bomb I'd have to defuse was right here.

---

There were three people on the panel.

"Well, do your best."

The Head of Department, whose distaste for me was obvious at a glance.

"……"

And a Team Lead, who was watching me with a strangely loaded expression.

And,

"Whoa, so fresh. Hyung, was I like that as a trainee too?"

Miro's founding pillar, now looking down the barrel of his 12th year since debut — Seo Taeil, leader of Upia.

The one man responsible for turning today's Miro into the my-fucking-way capital of the K-pop scene.

The nucleus who'd carried Upia past the mythical seven-year curse and the enlistment gap, and gotten them to sign a third contract renewal with Miro.

The day the third renewal was confirmed, he'd cooly aired his thoughts through an SNS livestream with fans.

—Well… about time they figured it out too. Place falls apart without me.

Any other male idol leader says something like this? He'd get piled on for baiting, accused of throwing his own members under the bus. But this was Upia's Seo Taeil we were talking about. The Seo Taeil who'd overcome the misery of a small agency, kept his rowdy members in line, smashed through every scandal, and taken Upia to the very top.

handle: @u_top_world name: Twoll [photo] The absolutely brutal self-awareness of this 13-year male idol leader… Yep, that's about right, Taeil… engagement: shares 8,731 · quotes 2,213 · hearts 9,654 handle: @txllam name: Tallam_MainBirdConfirmed Genuinely think this is the peak of Upia's group dynamic A Seotae with no plans of leaving Upia And Upia with no plans of letting Seotae drift off This is our boys engagement: shares 6,854 · quotes 3,976 · hearts 8,596 title: [Upia] Male idols — that's Seo Taeil, don't try and learn from it Any other idol had said that, they'd have caught legendary levels of shit But Seo Taeil… Seo Taeil gets away with it - LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO - Seo Taeil is Kingjeong - at this rate Yoon Jinu would've been introduced as an ordinary civilian n years from now > Cheong Hansol would've re-upped in the army and stayed for life > bro that's basically him already > I'm gonna cry Cheong Hansol please discharge already, your job is idol

'If that guy's the bomb, this gets big fast.'

I loosened up my voice as I looked at the panel, none of them exactly easy. Set in front of me was the lyric sheet for the song I'd be singing today. Fortunately, a familiar one.

'Upia's debut song, huh.'

Whichever bastard set up this monstrous scenario — making someone audition on this song in front of the original artist — deserved to be found. On top of that, it looked like Seo Taeil himself would be directing me. Any normal trainee would've been crushed flat under the pressure by now.

I was, of course, not a normal trainee.

"Alright, first I just want to check your tone. Sing lightly all the way through the first chorus."

Once the sound check was quickly done, Seo Taeil's mellow voice came through, sounding like he was ready to start. I nodded, adjusting the headphones, and a system alert chimed.

Skill 〈Just As I Say〉 (LV.1) activating.

You think I'd walk in to defuse a bomb without any safety gear?

---

The night before.

"I'm not doing it."

The instant I read that 85 percent regression probability, I went on strike against the System.

Beg your pardon?

"Oh, missed that? No, you heard me. I'm not doing it."

When I fully crossed my legs and folded my arms on top of it, the system window crackled and flickered.

Whatever, I settled into the sloppiest posture I could manage and made a show of tuning the whole thing out.

"I signed off on the part where I become an idol trainee within two months, right? Sure, whatever — young and rich and tall and handsome, why not."

"But now what? Defuse a bomb? Assemble a debut team? What is this, a modern-fantasy web novel? Life's the real deal — I'm already sick over not being able to memorize the lottery numbers, and now — hey! How's a 19-year-old brat supposed to bring an entire agency to heel?"

Getting worked up all over again, I stomped down hard on the blameless sandy ground like a volcano going off. Getting sand into my slides was gross, so I uncrossed my legs and shook them out. There was nowhere in the semi-basement apartment to escape my family's line of sight, so I'd ended up back at the playground in front of the house.

"Ah, honestly. Getting mad all over again. I mean, mentor? You said mentor? I'm gonna keel over before I so much as lay eyes on my mentee, that little shit."

"I'm out, I'm out. Regression? Fine, regress me. Whatever, I'll live forever."

Input error. Input error. Erratic behavior by the (Fixed) Regressor is triggering errors!

"What error?"

I get flustered!

"You're a piece of work too, honestly."

By now I'd started personifying the System, but there wasn't really any other way to deal with it. Anyway, judging by the reaction, it seemed about the right time to bring up my actual goal, so I flicked a foot as if bestowing a great favor.

"Give me a skill. Or an item, at least."

The (Fixed) Regressor is not provided with separate skills…

"Then I'm out."

Even this level of assistance is already an enormous accommodation…

"Out."

…….

"I'm out. Quest or whatever, screw it. Let that Selreg bastard lose his mind regressing forever, fine by me."

The craziest bastard on this turf?

System, you're first up for a taste of what crazy looks like.