08. The Craziest Bastard in This Place Is Me (3)

"Kid's got a real attitude problem."

Unable to find fault with Hajin's skill, the card the Head of Department played was 'character.' His argument: the kid was stiff and expressionless, looked seriously full of himself, and had the kind of face a school-bullying scandal breaks around.

"Kid that age, ears pierced, hair styled up… you can see it — that's the character. Face like a straight-up delinquent. Not for me."

"Sir, you cast our second on exactly that — you said he had bad-boy charm."

"He had the charm. He wasn't an actual delinquent."

That was a whole different thing! At the blanket-badmouthing, Seo Taeil crossed his arms. As someone who'd caught his share of fabricated controversies over drinking, smoking, drugs, and whatever else — purely on the basis of his image — this wasn't exactly music to his ears.

"Hmm, but when I talked to him while he was waiting, he was really polite. Warm, too."

Manager Kim, who'd wrapped up the last of his conversation with Rene's Chief Jang, pushed back. The Head of Department waved him off, calling it a clueless take.

"You saw earlier — no change in expression, just yes, yes. I've watched kids like that in this industry for years. I can read them at a glance now."

Every face in the room was sick to death of the Head of Department's stubborn insistence. Everyone knew his opposition was opposition for opposition's sake, but nobody dared put a complaint into words. However many messes he made, within the company he was the CEO's closest right hand, treated on par with a board member.

"Couldn't it just be nerves?"

"Does that kid look nervous to you? Kim, you've still got a lot to learn. Doesn't smile, doesn't flinch. Face like that — mark my words, he'll blow up a scandal one day."

The Head of Department clearly wasn't budging. Taeil sighed and shot Suho an irritated glance. Do something, would you. Reading the silently mouthed question, Suho thought it over, then lightly tapped the table to pull the room's focus.

"Let's run the interview first, then. He got here and we sent him straight into the booth — could be that just rattled him."

"Good idea. I'm in favor."

"Hey, Seo Taeil, you—"

"You said you wanted to test him your way, sir — that's why we changed up the audition. Give me a shot at testing him mine."

At Suho's firm tone, the Head of Department clenched his teeth. This kid rubbed him the wrong way at every single turn. He could all but feel an "I'll indulge your nonsense, so don't push it" sitting inside the words, which needled him quietly — but Suho wasn't wrong, and there was no ground left to keep pressing.

In the end, with a face like he'd bitten something sour, the Head of Department crossed his arms and nodded.

"Then I'll call Hajin in on my way out. I have something to give him anyway."

"Ah — yes, yes! Chief Jang, thank you for today."

Chief Jang — who'd been sitting front-row for the vicious in-house politics — cut in at a well-timed moment and announced her exit. The Head of Department, watching Manager Kim hurry out with her, added, still in the same displeased tone:

"Waste of time interviewing him. Kid's got 'stubborn as a mule' written all over his face."

"Even better, then. He's coming in as junior to Upia and Enderway — you want someone soft?"

"Ah, damn it, Taeil, you keep—!"

"Sir. Calm down."

"Ahem, hem."

Taeil, whom the Head of Department had been counting on to shoot Hajin down, was blowing the opposite horn instead — the man was one step from losing it. But even the Head of Department couldn't afford to come at Taeil, Miro's resident elder, carelessly; things would only get ugly down the line. Knowing this, he cleared his throat for no real reason and aimed his complaint at a different target entirely.

"Ah, why is he taking so long? Chief Jang left a while ago now — he didn't run off, did he?"

"…Haah, I'll go check. Get some air, too."

Unable to bear it any longer, Taeil kicked off from his seat and stood up. Stepping through the office door, he muttered a small curse under his breath.

'Even his instincts are gone — greed's worn them all out.'

Sure, in the recording booth Hajin had come across as excessively emotionless compared to a typical trainee.

Excitement, jitters, nerves, pressure, fear.

That none of those had shown up was a curious point, sure — but writing off a person on that alone was absurd, wasn't it?

'How can you know everything after one look? He's just against the kid because Suho-hyung brought him in.'

"Ugh… I hate corporate politics."

But if Hajin held onto that emotionless demeanor through the interview too, things could really get difficult — Taeil was mid-thought as he rounded the corner at the front of the corridor.

"…Kang Hajin?"

What am I looking at right now.

"Are you crying?"

The far end of the hallway, faint sunlight filtering in through the windows, tears streaming faster than he could bother trying to muffle them. Hajin sobbing openly looked like a scene straight out of a drama.

'Ah. Chief Jang did say she had something to give him earlier…'

As soon as Taeil made out what Hajin was holding, he pieced the situation together fast. Made sense. The reaction was identical to his group's maknae getting his first fan letter.

"Ah, this is—, ugh, hic, no, it's not what—"

Hajin, eyes and nose and mouth all bright red from crying, finally looked like the nineteen-year-old rookie he actually was.

Somehow that came as a relief, and he also felt bad for having misjudged an innocent kid, so Taeil just laughed awkwardly. It brought his own rookie days back to mind, too.

'How could anyone say that about a kid like this…'

Muttering softly to himself, Taeil walked over, patting Hajin's shoulder to soothe him. It's okay, it's okay. You can cry it out first before you come back in. Hajin cried harder at those words.

"What — over there…?"

"Whoa, it's Taeil-sunbaenim."

So every passing trainee and staffer got an eyeful, but Taeil didn't much care.

Manager Kim, the Head of Department, and Team Lead Ji — all wondering what the hell was going on when even the guy who'd gone to fetch him hadn't come back — stepped into the hallway too and witnessed the scene. Hajin ended up wrapped in Taeil's arms for a long stretch, having to pour out tears until the penalty ran its course.

And at Miro, another rumor started making the rounds — unverified, unfortunate — that Seo Taeil had, at long last, gone and gotten a trainee of his own.

---

Humiliating.

Eyes still stinging, I sighed. Across from me, Seo Taeil was already looking at me like I was his cute little brother.

'Yeah, maybe I should switch agencies.'

The panicked System's alarms were ringing shrilly, ding-ding-ding, but they were all just anxious babble, so I marked them read and swiped them aside.

When did you even add a read-receipt function!?

Leaving the aghast system window behind, I turned my attention to the sheet of paper in front of {me.}(#4dtos6ax9qxn)

"Anyway, this is the standard contract that Miro's current trainees have signed, and you're welcome to take as long as you want with legal counsel or your parents before deciding."

'Miro Entertainment Exclusive Trainee.'

The big letters printed across the top of the contract felt oddly unreal. Originally there was supposed to be more interviewing back and forth, but for some reason it seemed things had gotten settled among themselves while I was crying. Reading the room, Seo Taeil had probably done a lot of the work. Whether that was a good thing… I wasn't sure.

'Sign this, and I'd finally be a trainee, huh.'

It meant becoming an idol. More precisely, an idol trainee.

To some people, it would be the start of a dream; to others, the opening of an endless challenge. For me, it meant something a little different.

It meant clinging back onto a dream I'd already given up and fled from once. And doing it with a weight strapped to both feet — the weight of having to succeed, no exceptions.

"Trainee investment costs only get settled when and if you eventually debut. There's almost no money going in before that."

I listened closely as Manager Kim added his supplementary notes. If commuting from home was hard, trainee dorms were available if I wanted them, he said.

Even among the smaller agencies, a name-brand mid-tier really was a different animal. Miro's treatment did seem better than other places.

The problem was—

"And for the classes themselves, we'll run a level test and adjust them to your skill level…"

"I'm sorry, but—"

—I was about to kick every one of those nice terms to the curb.

"I don't think this is going to work for me."

"…Huh?"

"I'm sorry. I think I need some time to think it over."

At my wistful tone, everyone in the office was stunned.

The System gives up trying to understand the (Fixed) Regressor.

What, you. You told me to be a crazy bastard, didn't you?

---

The moment I made up my mind to walk out on Miro came when Seo Taeil was walking over to comfort me while I cried.

'How could anyone say that about a kid like this…'

He'd thought he was whispering low — but crying on the outside and one hundred percent clear-headed on the inside, I heard him perfectly.

'Someone in there definitely doesn't like me.'

The fact that they hadn't gone straight into the interview, that the panel had gotten stuck on their own conversation — it meant they had things to say about me.

A hopeful had sung well enough to please Seo Taeil himself — what was there to talk about? If this had been an audition show, Seo Taeil would've bought a Super Pass to send me straight through.

'I need to know exactly who's on my side going in, or it isn't safe.'

There were two reasons I turned down Miro's trainee contract.

Making my enemies clear, and locking in a reliable ally.

From my gut read, the guy who'd looked down at me with that shit-eating face was probably the enemy — but the team lead, with something I couldn't quite place about him, wasn't someone I could just brush past either.

'If anything, the most suspicious one is that team lead.'

Either way, that day I'd confirmed that Manager Kim and Seo Taeil, both fidgeting to convince me to stay, definitely liked me — so already, the trip had paid off.

But what if you end up not becoming a Miro Ent trainee at all?! (SQ 01 remaining: 39 days)

'That's exactly why I made sure I had insurance before shutting them down.'

I pulled out a business card I'd tucked carefully into my wallet.

Seo Taeil's own manager's card — Seo Taeil had handed it over that day, telling me to think it through again. If I changed my mind by any chance, he'd said, be sure to reach out.

'If they don't take the bait, I can just call this number.'

Either way, all I had to do for now was wait for whoever couldn't stand to lose me — Manager Kim, Seo Taeil, whichever — to reach back out on their own. If someone wanted me back that badly, then once I was inside Miro, I could safely count them as my ally — for information, backup, whatever I needed.

"And if they'd conveniently clear out whoever hates me while they're at it, even better."

The System marvels at the (Fixed) Regressor's calculation…

"Manager Kim didn't seem to carry that much weight… so probably Seo Taeil?"

And three days after I'd turned down the audition and walked out, someone from Miro came looking for me.

"Kang Hajin."

"……?"

Of all people, the most suspicious one.

"Hello. I'm Ji Suho."