Chapter 91

Before I had time to be surprised, the next line came right on its heels.

—Hajin's the kind of kid who has no choice but to end up in a leader role.

—There's a lot he picks up on. His eyes catch everything.

—Who's struggling with what, who's good at what — that kind of thing….

—It's instinct. Pure instinct. There's no helping it.

Footage of me was overlaid on top of that audio.

Little scraps of moments some AD had probably dug up by combing through the entire timeline.

—So I keep finding myself pushing him on things. Because I can see traces of my past mistakes and regrets in him.

—At the end of the day, being an idol — the group matters, sure, but you've gotta shine within it too, you know?

—And sometimes I feel like Hajin, right now, doesn't have that hunger.

'…he read me right.'

It was a strange feeling, listening to Seo Taeil's interview pinpoint, perfectly, a psychological state I hadn't even fully recognized in myself.

Up through that point, my confidence in my own performances and skills really had dropped a lot.

I was confident I could put on a stage I wouldn't be ashamed of, sure — but how far, how high that stage could climb, I hadn't been sure.

'…not anymore.'

It'd take some time for the sense of defeat I'd been conditioned into over the years to fully wear off.

But now that I'd recovered the sense of 'this is okay,' one thing was clear: from here on, it'd be different from before.

"……"

Come to think of it, there was another guy sitting right next to me who'd read me as accurately as Seo Taeil.

Lee Doha — who wouldn't appear on the broadcast, but who had dropped a hell of a fact-bomb on me sometime after that same period.

Lee Doha — whose trust level still hadn't crossed 70%, still couldn't quite believe in me.

'Could this bastard's trust level be tied to my attitude back then, too?'

If so — with the amount of self-confidence I had now, unlike back then…. Might I not be able to bump it up by, oh, 2%?

'Gonna have to sit down for a chat with Lee Doha before long.'

This damn Selreg hunt. Turning me way too diligent, way too sociable.

Once I was done with that little reflection and turned my eyes back to the TV—

—Slate!

"Ah, please, no."

—March 2nd, 8:42 PM. B-team midway check. One, two, three!

Clap!

An absurdly cheerful clap sound rang out through Ju Eunchan's living room.

I could feel everyone staring at me with dazed eyes without having to look around. In the moment where nobody could bring themselves to speak, Dan Haru — leisurely rolling up two of the pizza slices we'd ordered as a top-up earlier — tilted his head.

"Ssseh, seems to me like he's shining plenty enough on his own already…."

I quietly poured some garlic sauce onto Dan Haru's pizza slice.

Was my public image really going to be okay coming out of this? However you looked at it, PD Kwon had worked way too hard on this one.

'…they gave me way too favorable an edit.'

Thinking about the scenes still to come after this, I had a faintly bad feeling.

Looked like the reaction monitoring I'd put off for tomorrow was going to have to happen tonight — all-nighter or not.

---

"Ah, they're pushing Kang Hajin so fucking hard, the crazy bastards."

If they were gonna shove him at us this hard, they might as well just round up the kids themselves and debut them, for fuck's sake.

Vicious curses came pouring out unfiltered. Flopping backward irritably, blank-faced, she opened SNS on her phone.

handle: @makkiii name: Kim Makki that kkangchoong-i bastard's concept-act is making me fucking wanna puke seo fail-il's gone senile and his eyes rotted through or what yeah once you lose your touch you should just kick it ㅉㅉ with that dogshit face his main-character syndrome's flaring up trying to force-feed us that 4d weirdo shtick and the show pushing him for it is a fucking joke ㅋㅋㅋ

On Kim Makki's face, uploading blind hatred at someone without a shred of hesitation, there wasn't even the faintest trace of feeling.

Because for Kim Makki, this level of talk was no more than 'ah, Miro Maze is boring, they only push one guy~' territory.

In fact, scroll a little way down Kim Makki's timeline and — apart from Hajin, whom she called Kkangchoong-i (Kang Hajin + gaochoong, i.e. "swagger-bug") — you'd find a running lineup of assessments and curses aimed at every kind of other celebrity.

handle: @makkiii name: Kim Makki seorya-unnie please stop with the plastic surgery already ㅠ her nose is as big as Namsan now handle: @makkiii name: Kim Makki choigyeong-nu this fucker should just strip for his fangirls to enjoy but no he's gone full real-music-bug the comedy of our era hey your own damn fans don't listen to your songs handle: @makkiii name: Kim Makki fans of Wangdukkeong dating another group's fangirl and picking his out-angle, listen to unnie and quit stanning right now, unnie's telling you this from experience~

Followers 0. Following 0.

The kind of account that only got a brief flash of attention when she'd occasionally drop a scathing quote-post under a celebrity's Bluebird post that happened to be trending.

Every so often, of course, true-blue fans who'd tracked back through those quote-posts or stumbled onto her account would report her or hit her with a DM-and-mention barrage.

But when that happened, Kim Makki would just deactivate the account for a while and come back once some time had passed. Change the nickname, change the ID, swap out the profile picture and the header, and she could pick right back up like nothing had ever happened.

'Sometimes crazy fuckers follow me and keep tabs, but a quick block takes care of that.'

So for Kim Makki, this was just a fun everyday little sport.

Celebrities went on TV, flashed a smile for a few seconds, walked out with hundreds of millions of won — surely one person like her was allowed to throw some sharp words their way?

That was Kim Makki's train of thought.

"Stop putting kkangchoong-i on-screen and push the ones with actual face-value, you clueless producers."

And Kim Makki's target this time was Miro Maze.

With every top-tier male idol group off in the army or blowing up over failed contract renewals, and the second-tier and rising ones turned into ghost towns over every kind of scandal and controversy — these trainees were heating up the communities before they'd even debuted.

The fandom hadn't fully taken shape yet, and since it was a survival there wasn't even the group-fan solidarity to speak of — for Kim Makki, this was the most fun window.

'Should I throw a log on the fire?'

Tugging at her ratty pajamas as she stretched, Kim Makki logged into a community board she frequented.

---

If CP Yoon hadn't been dealt with by Hajin, the star of episode 2 was supposed to have been Han Seongwoo.

But he'd dropped out in disgrace, and the network wasn't willing to take on even the tiniest risk.

title: [Look how MRMZ is treating the dropout trnee] - the teeth-clenched determination to keep him off camera is kinda obnoxious ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ so this is what it looks like when you drop out huh - i mean showing only 8 in the full-team shot is madness right - even worse if you check the perf vid from before he had the first part ㅅㅂㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ how tf did they pull that off - just wrecked him with the rhythm-edit title: [MRMZ dropout trnee dish] - (a tabloid-style post claiming Han Seongwoo tried to use family connections to grease palms and got cut for it) this is the dropout-trnee dish going around right now no receipts, oldpost, filter at your discretion prob deleting soon - u even see this where > just searching around and stumbled on it - said to be an inside spill - eh isn't this the same rich-family trainee thing that was going around here before? possibly? > nobody knows - the producers dishing out justice from an unexpected corner...likable damn

The producers cut mentions and appearances of Han Seongwoo to the minimum they could without breaking narrative coherence.

Because of that, with Hajin's battle opponent's screen time gone, they couldn't play up the storyline of Hajin having done a battle either.

Forced to give up on the battle narrative with Seongwoo, the producers went looking for another point of comparison.

That turned out to be A-team leader Jung Siwoo.

title: [Y'all if you were leader which would you rather have?] - the A-team with such heavy individual talent they're a ragtag mess VS the B-team with weaker individuals but strong team chemistry the survival formula says A blows up and B trends up in an arc ㅋㅋ that's the national default but this one A is packed with heavy hitters so who knows - the wording level ㅅㅂ "ragtag mess" they said - i was gonna hop on the A bus but watching Siwoo's stomach dissolving today idk anymore ㅋ > sioo-stans (a slur for Jung Siwoo fans) were screaming their oppa is a scheming-type intellectual-type and after 2 whole eps he's exposed as a pathetic loser ㅎ i'm second-hand embarrassed for them ㅠ - u keep trying to compare when the kids don't even have the looks A stomps; > 22 - ?? why are the comments like this did i click on the wrong community > we're getting brigaded rn just report and lock the comments

Jung Siwoo scraping through the individual-play-heavy team was broadcast just as it was.

In particular, his conflict with Lee Yugeon — who'd walked a delicate line between 'insincere' and 'just a naturally laid-back personality' throughout the practice — got some airtime.

—I'm not expecting anything from you. But at the very least, put out some kind of opinion.

—So I can do my job too. (Sharp sound effect, Siwoo looking over at Yugeon)

—No, I mean. (Yugeon's exasperated expression)

—How many times am I gonna have to say it. I told you, I don't care. Just take whatever you hyungs want and give me the leftovers.

The truth was, even though Yugeon ended up with the fewest parts, he didn't voice a single complaint. And after that exchange, Jung Siwoo didn't visibly get uncomfortable around Yugeon during practice either.

True to the show's tagline of 'the survival without hit-piece edits,' the producers dialed the picture in at exactly that level — clean and understated.

But that didn't mean the viewers just skimmed past the scene.

title: [Watching this survival gives me PTSD] - reminds me of the yes-man teammate who'd freeload on group projects it made me feel gross so i turned it off. kids like that always start whining later that they didn't get their proper share - fr like i've never seen anyone come on a survival and ask for the leftovers ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ - if you're gonna be like that just drop out and go home; title: [but honestly, kinda careless of him tho] - i watched the whole broadcast too and i get what he meant to say? but um...he seems like the kind who says things without thinking. the attitude was careless yeah - (anon1) that kid was giving me weird vibes from ep 1 already ㅋ {physiognomy is science}(#mcbt2aafv0o5) > (anon2) the vibe-sommelier's here, another expert has arrived right~? > (anon3) these kinds of kids always start throwing physiognomy around without even watching the show > (anon1) i watched every ep? his mission was half-assed from ep 1 and his airtime's trash for a reason yeah? > (anon3) a half-assed kid dances 10 girl-group relay dances in a row?? you just wanna shit on Yugeon - guys survival isn't your first day??? watching the edited footage and going for the kill again title: [seriously, the kids calling Yugeon careless did y'all watch the vid???] - if you watch it, Yugeon said from the start multiple times that he wanted the hyungs to pick first and he'd take whatever was left; it's just the BGM and subtitles that were laid on heavy, Yugeon was smiling through the whole thing saying he didn't mind, and Jung Siwoo revved up out of nowhere going 'i don't expect anything from you' i can prove i stan someone else, i'm just writing this because it made me mad on his behalf - (comment 1) siwoo-stan going hard... > (op) kids like you make it your life's achievement to tear people down from your bedrooms right? get outside more...touch some grass...ㅠ > (comment 1) yeah go project your identity onto some pre-debut trainee with dead fish eyes~ㅋㅋㅋ - (comment 2) but i also thought Jung Siwoo blew up out of nowhere and went huh?...though obviously it's broadcast so there's editing too ㅠ title: [current state of the MRMZ trainee reactions being split.jpg] - (screencap 1 of Jung Siwoo and Lee Yugeon's conversation) (screencap 2) (screencap 3) Jung Siwoo who revved up out of nowhere is the problem VS uncooperative Lee Yugeon is the problem opinions splitting into two camps what do y'all think?

In an instant the whole community was on fire, but thankfully the controversy didn't spread any further than that.

Because on the A-team's stage that followed, Lee Yugeon pulled it off too well.

His parts were few, sure — but the moment the dance break came around, Lee Yugeon leaped to center like a fish in water.

And, wearing the happiest smile of his life, he sailed through the high-difficulty choreography as if it were nothing.

Especially the moment right before he went into the dance break.

When the shot came of him locking eyes with a nervous Kim Wonho and deliberately pulling a playful face for him, brand-new posts started detonating for the exact opposite reason as before.

- i loved that endless-rewind meet-cute - ㅁㅊ that shit is stylish - honestly the other kids feel like they're doing a survival stage but Lee Yugeon actually looks like he's having fun and i love that, born-to-be-a-star behavior - what the hell they were on his ass for being "insincere" and he crushed it

The ones already smitten with the endlessly-laid-back thug-look main dancer started spinning even his weaker live vocals and his friction with Jung Siwoo into something noble.

title: [ah so the earlier ㅈㅅㅇ / ㅇㅇㄱ fight was] - the natural-talent-bug who knew his own skills fell short and honestly said he was fine with the leftovers, vs the eldest-brother heartbroken watching a dongsaeng give up without even trying — a tearjerking tale of brotherly love, right? ok imma start eating up YuShoo from today, hate-love is fucking delicious

---

- really the fanon-spinning of the century - is this a disease - just award this one the technical win, mental victory is a victory too

Jung Siwoo's fans and Lee Yugeon's fans both ended the situation with a lingering unease.

Both fandoms hunkered down to the extreme, wary of becoming fodder for the aggro currently on Miro Maze or for the disruptors who'd latched on to keep rising groups in check.

'Might as well have some bigger villain pop up and pull all this aggro somewhere else.'

Somebody, somewhere, might have been thinking that.

That was how overheated the interest in Miro Maze was right now. In a situation like this, the second anyone found a hook — there was no going back.

And….

title: [Miro's pushing KHJ, no??ㅋㅋㅋ]

In that precarious atmosphere, someone tossed a spark.