2

I left my room at around ten the next morning and ran into Kokoro on the landing.

“Good morning!” she said, back to her usual self.

“Oh, morning,” I replied, trying my best to sound as normal as she did.

“Say, you wouldn’t have any cardboard boxes lying around, would ya?”

“Huh? I think... yeah, I should have some I meant to throw away,” I replied, surprised by the sudden question. I actually had quite a few from all the times I’d bought stuff online.

“Can I take some?”

“Sure, I guess... but why?”

“Isn’t it obvious? To move out.”

“What...?”

The door to Kokoro’s room was ajar, and through it I could see a bunch of boxes piled up on the floor.

Is she putting away her stuff already?

“Didn’t you say your dad will be back in a couple months? You’re packing up already?”

“My mom’s coming back next month, and I want to be out of here by then... even earlier, if I can. I’m thinking of staying in a hotel not far from here. I’ve kinda gotta ask if I can keep my stuff here for a while though...”

“Wh-Why are you in such a hurry? Staying in a hotel would be really expensive. You could at least wait for your mom to come back, right?” I asked, unsure why she was so eager to leave.

“Well... that’d be rude to Minami. If it were me, I wouldn’t want my boyfriend living with another girl,” she replied with a half-hearted smile. “And, you know, the timing isn’t so bad. You’ve got a girlfriend now, and I found a good boyfriend candidate, so...”

Ah, that makes sense. It’s not just about Minami’s feelings. Now that Nishina has a crush on that Yuya guy, she probably doesn’t want to be caught living with another boy...

“Okay, I get it. I’ll help,” I said.

I was sad that she was going to leave, even though I knew I shouldn’t feel like that. My priority was Elena, and I should have been thinking about how she felt about me living with Kokoro.

She took action and started packing out of respect for Minami and me... How could I be sad about it? Maybe I really am the worst, I thought. The least I could do was keep those feelings to myself.

＊　＊　＊

A few days later, I met up with Ai in Akihabara, where we decided to play a new game at the arcade. For lunch, we went to a nearby McDonald’s, and I finally broke the news to him.

“What?! G-Girlfriend?! Who is it? Is it Nishina?”

“Huh?! N-No! It’s a girl called Minami, from the first year...”

“Hmm... I think I’ve heard that name before. What’s she like?”

“W-Well, she’s half-Japanese, half-English... She’s stunningly cute, but she’s also an otaku, she loves yuri, and...”

“Whoa, calm down!”

“You were the one who asked me what she’s like,” I said. Truth to be told, I’d not mentioned one of the most important things about her: the fact that she was a voice actress. After all, she was still keeping it a secret at school.

“Why would such a cute girl want to be your girlfriend anyway?”

“L-Look, I’m not sure either...”

“Do you have any pics?”

“Hm, hold on...” I said, taken aback by Ai’s rapid-fire questions. I took out my phone and began to search for a picture of Elena.

I immediately found some of her cosplaying, but those wouldn’t do. It wouldn’t be gentlemanly to show them without her permission, and I honestly felt weird about showing my girlfriend in such revealing attire to another man (Ai counted as a man). Maybe Elena wouldn’t have minded, since she had to show up on a stage dressed like that in front of a bunch of people for work, but...

“You don’t have a single picture? And you’re sure you didn’t just dream this girl up?”

“I didn’t! She asked to be my girlfriend... Oh, right, there’s her LINE icon!” I said, zooming in as best as I could. The tiny photo was barely large enough to recognize her, but at least she was wearing normal clothes.

“What...? She really is cute!” Ai breathed when he saw Elena’s profile icon. “Isn’t this like one of those bot accounts that lets you pretend you’re dating a cute girl?”

“It definitely isn’t!”

“But... why would a girl like that ask you to be her boyfriend? Did she try to sell you some kind of pyramid scheme?”

“She didn’t!” I yelled, angry at him for refusing to believe that someone like Elena would ever fall in love with me.

“I’m not sure I’m understanding. Pinch me, this must be some sort of miracle...”

“Look, I don’t know either! But she’s not tricking me in any way, shape, or form!”

“I thought I was the only one who bothered chatting with you...”

“Huh?”

“How come this is the first time I’m hearing about this girl? You didn’t even tell me when you first met her!”

“W-Well...”

Unfortunately, the circumstances under which I’d met Elena were so unique that I couldn’t have told him without revealing the truth about her job.

“Look at you, meeting up with girls and only telling me about it when you’re dating one! How dare you!” Ai said, puffing up his cheeks. I couldn’t tell whether he was mad because I’d kept a secret from him... or if it was just because I had a girlfriend and he didn’t. How was I supposed to know?

At around six, Ai left to go buy some cosplaying materials, leaving me by myself. I’d already told him that I had other plans later in the evening; I was supposed to meet up with Yume soon.

I spent some time playing on my phone before leaving the shop and heading to Maid-Tale Café.

What kind of insults will she throw at me? And why does she want to do so in person? Is it just to remind me that she can’t ever forgive me?

Being with Ai had kept me distracted, but now I was alone, my nerves had taken over.

I’d better prepare myself to be cursed at...

＊　＊　＊

I reached the café just before seven. Yume’s shift wasn’t the last of the night, so she wouldn’t have to clean up or anything, but she’d still have to change before leaving, which would probably put her doing so at ten or fifteen minutes after seven o’clock. Still, I was so nervous that I couldn’t help but get there early.

My only wish was for nothing crazy to happen. That was all I wanted. I kept staring at my phone, waiting for time to go by, but every minute felt like an eternity.

After about ten minutes, I saw Yume leave the café. I hadn’t seen her in person for quite a while now, but she was still as cute as ever. Her white lolita dress was adorable. Sure, I’ll admit that she was still my type, but this was no time to be blown away by her cuteness.

“You really came...” she said when she saw me.

“Huh?”

“Let’s go somewhere else. We can’t talk here.” Both her voice and her face were completely devoid of emotion.

“O-Okay...”

She started walking with her back to me, so fast that I struggled to keep up. She eventually stopped in a deserted back alley and turned to look me straight in the eye. A shiver ran down my spine.

Does she really just want to talk? I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t do something as extreme as kill me, but I could be in for at least a slap or two. Or maybe a punch? Maybe she’ll punch me in the gut.

I’d never dated Yume, and I hadn’t betrayed her or lied to her at all. I didn’t deserve to have my gut punched... but it was true that I’d hurt her. If a punch was going to make her feel better about the whole thing, maybe I had to toughen up and take it.

I could read the pain and sadness on her face, and guilt began to build in my chest. Without a word, she stepped toward me.

Here she comes! What’s it gonna be? A slap? A punch? She isn’t armed, is she?!

I instinctively closed my eyes and braced myself... but, instead of the painful blow I’d been expecting, I felt a soft, warm touch encircle my body. When I opened my eyes, I saw that Yume was hugging me.

“Y-Yume...?” was the only word to leave my mouth. I was frozen with shock, my face burning with the heat of the sun and my heart beating like crazy. This was the first time that I’d ever been hugged by a girl.

Yume let go of me and took a step back. I looked down at her small, round face. Much to my surprise... she was smiling.

“Thank you for everything,” she said. “It felt like a dream. It was the first time someone’s been so kind to me. It was so fun to fall in love, and to text each other... Even when you didn’t reply, waiting for that was fun too.”

Fall... in love? Is that how she felt for me?

My expectations had been totally off. I’d thought she was going to hit me, shout at me, cry, and wail... and I now realized how much of an asshole I’d been for thinking that of her.

“Th-Thank you, Yume...”

There was so much more that I wanted to say to her, but I decided to keep it at that. I already felt guilty enough for letting a girl who wasn’t my girlfriend hug me.

“I’ll never forget this...”

“Huh?”

With her last sentence, Yume switched instantly from heartwarming to terrifying. She was still smiling, but her tone was the creepiest thing I’d ever heard. I no longer knew whether to feel moved or scared.

She’ll never forget this, as in, one day she’ll kill me?!

“Hehe... Goodbye.”

Leaving me both frightened and confused, she turned around and began running away from me.

“Y-Yume...?!” I tried to call out to her, but she was getting farther and farther away. There was nothing more I could do.

Yume... Thank you too.

I could hardly believe that a girl so cute would fall in love with me. She’d previously only told me that going to school was boring and that spending time with me made her happy. All I could do now was hope that she’d find happiness elsewhere.

At least our relationship ended on a good note, I guess...

On the train home, I decided to check my Twitter... and I was shocked by what I saw. There were no tweets from Yume on my timeline.

Could she...?

I checked my follow list, and, sure enough, she wasn’t there. I looked up her account, and when I tapped on it, I felt like I’d been punched in the gut for real.

You’re blocked.

Just as I’d thought. It was weird for none of her tweets to show up on my timeline given how often she tweeted.

Did she block me today, then? Why? After all those nice things she said to me, I was beginning to think she was actually kind of sweet. Is she mad at me or something? Ugh, I don’t get girls at all...

Overcome by sadness, I put away my phone.

＊　＊　＊

When I got home, I was surprised by another notification. This time it was a LINE message from Mashiro. We’d never really contacted each other on LINE before, except for a couple of messages right after exchanging contacts.

“It’s been a while. There’s something I’d like to talk about. When are you free?”

Does she mean she wants to talk in person? I wonder what it’s about.

“Hey, it really has been. I’m free most of the time.”

As sad as it was, apart from my plans to go out with Elena somewhere in the near future, my schedule was basically empty. After a quick back and forth, Mashiro and I decided that we’d meet at 1 p.m. the next day in Ikebukuro.

“Thanks. Sorry for messaging you out of the blue. It’ll just be a quick chat.”

Now that I had a girlfriend, going out with another girl and enjoying any kind of date-like activity was obviously out of the question. Thankfully, Mashiro only seemed to want to discuss something with me.

I’d last seen her at the café where Yume worked, where Mashiro happened to be helping out that day. She’d sounded kind of jealous back then, but I never had the chance to ask her about it. She had also deleted her private Twitter account, and, as a taken man, I certainly wasn’t going to go out of my way to initiate contact with her. As a result, I had absolutely no idea what she currently thought of me or what she wanted to talk about.

If I’d been a bit braver, I could be dating Mashiro instead right now. Feels weird just thinking about it.

The next day, I went to Ikebukuro. The town still held some special memories for me, as it was where Mashiro and I had gone out together before I’d learned the truth about her.

This time, we had chosen the least original meeting place possible: by the owl statue near the station’s east exit. When I reached the statue, I found Mashiro already waiting there.

“Sorry to keep you waiting!”

“Oh, Ichigaya...”

She was wearing a frilly, sleeveless blouse and a cutesy light-gray skirt that laced up at the waist. She looked as adorable as always... except for the fact that she was scowling at me.

Wh-What? Did I somehow make her mad?

“I-It’s been so long, huh...?”

“Let’s go somewhere else,” she coldly replied, completely ignoring what I’d just said.

She’s definitely mad. I can tell that much.

“Y-Yeah, okay. Where should we go to talk?” I asked.

“Sunshine.”

I was surprised by the suggestion, since Sunshine Ikebukuro was the complex that housed the planetarium where we’d once gone on a date together.

“A-Actually, scrap that! There’s a park near Sunshine. Let’s go there instead,” she said.

“Uh, okay. Sure...” I followed her without raising any objections.

I guess the park’s quieter. That’ll make it easier to talk...

Walking together without so much as a word was unbearably awkward, so I tried my best to make some small talk.

“So, how’ve you been lately?”

“I’ve been busy with work for pretty much my whole summer vacation. Unlike someone here...”

“What are you trying to say?!”

Does she know something about me?! I’m too scared to ask her directly though...

Eventually, we reached the park.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” I asked Mashiro, who had her back to me.

“First of all, are you sure you can be out here with me? Even though you have a girlfriend?” she replied, turning around to give me the coldest stare in the world.

“What?! H-How do you...?!”

“Did you really think I didn’t know already?” she said, glaring at me so hard that it almost hurt.

“Ah... D-Did Yume tell you?”

Even though she usually worked in a different café, Mashiro would sometimes go to Maid-Tale to help when they were short on staff. The two of them hadn’t seemed on particularly good terms when I first saw them together, but maybe they’d since become close enough to talk about this kind of thing.

“I swear I’m so fed up with you right now.”

I was too shocked to reply.

“First you approach me, then you leave me hanging... and now, to top it off, you go and find yourself a girlfriend.”

“B-But...”

Is that what it came off as to her? That I was leaving her hanging? I thought she’d already forgotten about me, since we hadn’t spoken in so long...

“You never contacted me again,” she continued. “I wanted to forget you... but I couldn’t. You, on the other hand, had no qualms throwing yourself at other women.”

“What?!”

She couldn’t forget me? Where is this coming from?!

“So, now you have to set things straight,” Mashiro said, looking as if she could cry any moment.

After being so scared that she’d entirely stopped caring about me, I was happy—excited, even—to learn that this was how she’d really felt. Those words meant a lot coming from a girl I’d dreamed of dating for so long.

But it was too late now.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “You already know this, but there’s someone else in my life now...”

That was my way of setting things straight. The least I could do now was to muster up my courage and clearly state things as they were.

She looked away from me and slowly started talking. “Hmph, unbelievable. You get a girl’s hopes up like that, you stop contacting her, and then you top it all off by saying there’s someone else in your life now. A jerk till the very end.”

“I-I’m so sor—”

“I loved you.”

“Huh?”

Instead of the insults I’d been expecting, I’d been hit with a declaration of love. My brain stopped working for a second.

She... What? Did she just say...?

“Sometimes... I think like... if I’d just stayed as the fake me, then maybe you’d have become my boyfriend.” She smiled sadly. “That’s all I wanted to tell you. Goodbye.”

She started walking away, but I immediately stopped her.

“Wait a second!”

There was one thing I had to tell her.

“It’s just my opinion, but... the real you is much better than the fake you!”

When Mashiro heard my words, she froze in place. Then she continued talking, still facing away from me.

“You’re so kind... till the very end,” she said, and when she finally did turn around I saw that, even though she was smiling, she was on the verge of tears. “I should’ve been honest from the start. Maybe then I’d have had a chance...”

She let out a deep sigh, then continued. “Ugh, it’s always like this. I swear I’m really going to forget about you after today! So... I hope you and your girlfriend will be happy together. If you aren’t, I won’t be able to keep that promise...”

As she began walking away once more, I shouted a thank you after her, but this time she didn’t stop or reply.

She loved me. Surprise, happiness, guilt, and a bunch of other emotions whirled around my head. Before I knew it, a single tear had made its way down my cheek. Thank you, Mashiro.

I stood there, alone in the park, thinking about her—the girl that had probably been my first love.