3

Between Kokoro moving out and me having to meet up with Mashiro and Yume, I’d been going through a lot, but I still found the time to regularly contact Elena. However, on the flipside, I’d been speaking less and less with Kokoro. Making small talk with her made me feel kind of nervous.

I thought dinnertime would be a good time to strike up a conversation.

“You’ve been working nonstop preparing to move, huh?”

“Oh, yeah,” she said with a dejected chuckle without looking up from her plate. “I’ve got so many games and doujinshi that it feels like I’ll never finish.”

“Do you need a hand?” I asked. The only reason she was moving out sooner than necessary was because I was in a relationship now, so I believed it was my responsibility to help.

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ve also gotta sort things depending on whether I wanna keep them or not, so it’s easier if I go at it alone.”

“All right...”

Since Elena had become my girlfriend, Kokoro had started spending more and more time holed up in her room. She used to spend a lot of time downstairs, but now she only came down to the living room to eat. Also, with this particular day as an exception, she’d been eating out more than she ever used to.

I’d asked her how things were going with Yuya, but the only response I’d gotten from her was “good.”

I knew she was just busy seeing her friends and packing her stuff, but I couldn’t help but feel like she was avoiding me, which made it even harder to speak to her.

I still had a feeling that she wasn’t just doing this as a thoughtful gesture toward Elena and me—maybe she didn’t want to spend too much time with another guy now that things were going well with Yuya. For all I knew, those two were dating already... but if that were the case, I wished she would at least tell me.

I even helped her out with getting to know him... But I guess she’s the one who put in all the effort. Ultimately, it’s her call whether she wants to tell me or not...

＊　＊　＊

“...aya? Ichigaya?”

“Ahh! M-Minami?!” I exclaimed, surprised, noticing my girlfriend sitting next to me. “S-Sorry, I was spacing out...”

This is our first date as boyfriend and girlfriend! What am I spacing out for?!

“Hehe... Is something on your mind?”

“Nothing in particular...”

“Hmmm? Could you be hiding something from me?” she jokingly asked, leaning so close to my face that my heart skipped a beat.

“H-Haha... N-No. I-It’s nothing, really...”

I wasn’t trying to keep secrets from her, but I figured telling her that I was thinking about Kokoro while Elena and I were on a date together would have been pretty rude.

“Let’s go then!”

“Sure...”

I glanced at her and once again asked myself how such a cute girl could be my girlfriend. She looked jaw-droppingly beautiful in her light-blue sundress.

We were going to the cinema to watch an anime movie about two girls trying to become idols in America. I wanted to watch it because it was from an animation studio that I really liked, so I’d suggested that Elena come see it with me. As a yuri fan, she was bound to be interested in the girl-friendship aspect of it. Turned out, she also really wanted to watch it, so the matter had been quickly settled and I’d reserved our tickets.

“I hope it’s good...” I said.

“The reviews have been really positive, so I’m sure it will be!” Elena smiled happily.

Once at the cinema, we got our tickets printed, bought some popcorn and drinks, and headed over to the viewing room, where we sat side by side. Being so close to Elena’s beautiful profile had my heart pounding in a millisecond.

She’s so wasted on me. And now I’ll be sitting here right next to her in the dark for two whole hours...

The movie started, but, interesting as it was, I was too nervous about Elena’s proximity to fully take it in.

“Ah!”

For a brief moment, when I’d reached into the popcorn bucket, Elena’s hand brushed against mine. We both pulled back.

“O-Oh my! S-Sorry...” she apologized in a whisper.

“I-It’s okay...”

Agh. Even that was almost enough to make my nose bleed... That’s the first time we’ve ever touched hands! Now that we’re dating, we’re eventually going to... h-hold hands! And maybe even more than that!

...No! Don’t think dirty thoughts! Don’t let the darkness of the cinema influence you. But, even leaving aside the dirty thoughts... if I get so nervous about our hands touching, how am I going to, like, kiss her? I wish I could ask Nishina for advice... Actually, wait. No. That’d be too embarrassing. I definitely don’t want to ask her for advice on that.

I spent almost two hours thinking about stuff like that, and the movie eventually came to its end without me ever properly focusing on it.

However, when the lights turned on, I noticed that Elena was crying.

“Huh?!”

“S-Sorry...”

“N-No, don’t worry...”

What’s a boyfriend supposed to do at a time like this?! Should I just quietly hand her my handkerchief like in those old-timey shojo manga? But she’s already using her own handkerchief. And, come to think of it, I don’t even have one with me.

I hadn’t expected her to be literally moved to tears by the movie. As for me, I had barely been following it, but of course I couldn’t admit that. Previously when dealing with this kind of situation, I’d relied on Kokoro’s advice, but lately we hadn’t been close enough for me to casually ask for her help.

“It was so great!” Elena started excitedly relaying her opinion of the movie we’d just watched. “Of course, I enjoyed seeing the relationship between the two girls, but it was also a wonderful story! The way their friendship was portrayed in a pure and platonic way instead of brashly pandering to yuri fans made it even better!”

She really was a weird girl. She was cute, fashionable, extroverted, popular, and just perfect in every way... but beneath that surface lay an otaku through and through. That actually settled my nerves somewhat, and it was one of the reasons that I liked her so much.

“Thank you for inviting me to watch it! I’ve been able to witness a masterpiece, and it’s all thanks to you!”

“I’m just happy you liked it!”

“What about you? What did you think?”

“M-Me?! O-Oh, yeah, I liked it a lot!”

That was kind of a lie, but I didn’t dislike it or anything. I had just been too distracted to follow it.

“I’m glad! Would it be okay if I stopped by the merch stand? I’d like to pick up the movie pamphlet.”

“Of course!”

After stopping by the store, we went to a nearby café to have a light meal. During our relaxed chat, Elena suddenly switched the topic.

“By the way... how has Nishina been lately?” she asked. “Is she... doing well? I haven’t talked to her in a while, so I was wondering...”

She seemed to have a hard time bringing up the topic.

Is it because she doesn’t like me living with another girl? That would make sense. I couldn’t bear it if my girlfriend lived with another guy.

“She’s doing okay, but... she’s actually going to be moving out pretty soon,” I told her, both because I wanted Elena to feel better about it and out of respect for Kokoro’s decision.

“Wh-Why would that be?” Elena asked, surprised.

“Her parents are coming back to Japan.”

“Oh, I see...” she said, dropping her gaze with a thoughtful expression.

Hm? What’s wrong? Why’s she reacting like this?

“Minami?”

“Forgive me... I feel sorry for Nishina, but, to be honest, I’m quite relieved. I was worried that you might fall in love with such a beautiful girl while you were living with her...”

“M-Minami!”

Not only did it warm my heart that she would worry about something like that, but it also made her even cuter.

By the time we left the café, it was already past 6 p.m. I thought it would be better to end our date before it got late, first because I didn’t want to bore her, and second because I didn’t want her to think I had any... impure intentions. She mattered a lot to me, and, even though I didn’t want to admit it, I didn’t have the courage to kiss her, let alone anything more than that. I was interested in those things, of course, but at the same time, I was scared of going too far and driving her away.

“S-So, should we call it a day?” I proposed.

“What?!”

“Is something wrong?” I asked, trying to find out why Elena seemed so shocked by my suggestion.

“Oh, sorry... It’s just that it’s much earlier than I expected,” she replied.

Does this mean that she actually wanted to stay together late?!

“R-Really? Ah, sorry, I just thought you’d be bored spending so much time with me, especially since it’s our first date...”

“Not at all! But I guess going home wishing it had lasted longer would make us both look forward to the next one!” she said, blessing me with her kind smile.

“Y-You’re right! Yeah!”

I was trying to act gentlemanly, but maybe ending the date so early was a mistake...

On the train home, I kept wondering whether I’d done the right thing or whether I should have stayed longer. Whatever the case, going on a date with such a cute girl had made me happier than I could have ever imagined.

When I arrived back home, I was met by a sight that had become rather rare—Kokoro was on the couch playing with her phone. Lately she’d been spending most of her time in her room, so I wondered why she’d decided to come downstairs.

“I-I’m back...”

“Hi,” she greeted me. “You’re early.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Weren’t you on a date?”

Was she waiting here to ask me about it? I didn’t even tell her about it, but she must have guessed by how much effort I was putting into looking good this morning.

“Y-Yeah... I had fun.”

“Did you fuck up at all?”

“N-No... At least I hope not,” I said, sitting down on the couch a bit removed from where she was sitting. This felt like the first actual conversation we’d had in a while, despite living under the same roof.

“Cool,” she said with a smile. “So, anyway... I was thinking I’d leave tomorrow.”

This is even faster than I expected...

“I found a hotel where it’s really cheap to stay for long periods of time,” she added.

“A-Are you sure? Can you really afford that?”

“Don’t worry. My mom’s coming back next month, so it’s just until then.”

“I see...”

After hearing Elena’s opinion on the subject, I guess I should have been grateful to Kokoro for deciding to leave so soon.

“Thanks for everything,” she told me with a smile.

I felt a lump in my throat. “No, it’s nothing...”

“I’m not just talking about letting me live here, you know? I really mean everything.”

“O-Oh! I don’t know if anything I did really helped you though...” I said, even though I was happy to hear that she appreciated my efforts.

“It sure did. It’s also thanks to your advice that things are going so well between me and Yuya.”

“R-Really? I’m glad then...”

The mention of Yuya convinced me that it really was because she had a crush on another guy that Kokoro didn’t want to live with me anymore.

“I... have to thank you too. If it wasn’t for you, I still wouldn’t even be able to talk to girls, let alone date one,” I said.

Kokoro’s advice had helped me a lot over the past few months. I’d become way more comfortable around girls, I’d learned how to make myself presentable, and I’d even become a bit more confident. I honestly believed that living with her had turned my life around.

I used to dream of having an otaku girlfriend, and living with Kokoro had allowed me to live through a series of incredible experiences, resulting in that dream becoming reality. She’d spurred me to go to meetups and cosplay events, to find a part-time job, and more. Through these experiences, I’d been able to meet lots of girls, befriend some of them, and even go on dates.

If I hadn’t done any of those things, I probably wouldn’t be dating Elena—a girlfriend who, to be honest, was too good for me. An introverted, shy otaku like myself could never have achieved that without help. Now more than ever, I realized how valuable Kokoro’s advice had been to me.

“Come to think of it, you’ve changed a lot from when I first met you, huh? But you were the one who got Minami to like you, not me. I still have no idea how you managed to pull that one off...”

“Nishina...”

Everything had started when I happened to find out by pure coincidence that Elena was a VTuber, but Kokoro didn’t know that. I still couldn’t tell her, since the whole thing was supposed to be a secret.

“You should be proud of yourself,” she said. “You’d be the perfect otaku boyfriend for a lot of girls now.”

“N-Nishina...” I said again, surprised that she’d compliment me like that. “Thank you. You know, even if we’re not going to be living together anymore, if you need help with something, feel free to ask me, okay? At school or on LINE.”

The words flowed out of my mouth without me even thinking about them. Kokoro had thanked me for helping her out with Yuya, but, all this time, she’d also depended on my advice. I wasn’t too sure I could still be helpful to her, but if she trusted me enough to rely on me, I could only be happy about that—after all, I trusted her in just the same way.

“Thanks, but I think I’ll be fine.”

All of a sudden, I realized just how embarrassing my offer had sounded. That was kind of arrogant of me. She doesn’t need my advice anymore, and I forced it down her throat...

“From now on, I have to do my best on my own. So you do your best too, ’kay?”

Even though she hadn’t said it outright, I knew what she meant. “You do your best on your own too.” Kokoro didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. Her words, her voice, her face... everything seemed to imply that.

You have Yuya now, so you don’t want me hanging around. I get that. I bet you also don’t want to make Elena worry, since you’re friends with her too. And... you’re right. I don’t know why I said we should keep in touch. I’m an idiot. That wouldn’t be fair to Elena either.

Beneath the guilt of having proposed something out of line, however, I couldn’t help but feel hurt by Kokoro’s words. Somehow, the distance she wanted to put between us made me sadder than I’d expected.

She’s right. I know that. But then, why do I feel like this? When did I become so dependent on her? My romance goals are met. Nishina’s are about to be too. We should go back to being strangers... At least, that’s what she wants.

“You’re right... Sorry. Please forget about it,” I said, feeling so uncomfortable that I couldn’t stand one more second in that situation. I stood up from the couch.

“Ichig—”

“Good night,” I interrupted, hurriedly leaving the room.

Tomorrow, Nishina will leave. Our friendship is going to end, and we’ll be back to being complete strangers... But maybe we were never really friends in the first place. We were just helping each other out because we shared a common goal, and now that we’ve accomplished that goal, it’s natural for us to split up.

There must have been something wrong with me. I’d found my perfect girlfriend, and yet saying goodbye to my roommate felt so devastating...