8

That Sunday, I was out of bed by 6 a.m. That left me with two hours before my date with Elena—just enough time to put all that Kokoro had taught me about looking good into practice and reach the station closest to Dinkyland.

It only took me a few seconds to find Elena once I was at the station. She looked as beautiful as ever. Being able to go on a Dinkyland date with a girl so pretty was like a dream come true. Much to my horror, however, she was surrounded by a group of young men I’d never seen before. They were talking to her, but she was smiling back uncomfortably without a word.

Are they hitting on her?! She stands out even in a place this crowded, wow... Wait! What am I getting all impressed for?!

“M-Minami!” I called out as I got closer, and her face lit up.

“Ichigaya!”

“Aw, shoot. Must be her boyfriend,” one of the guys said.

“Tsk. Let’s stop wasting our time then,” another replied, and they all left.

“I-I’m sorry... It’s my fault you had to wait here by yourself,” I said, but Elena shook her head.

“Not at all! You’re right on time. Let’s go now!”

We walked out of the station and quickly reached the park’s entrance, where visitors were already lining up to buy their tickets. I hadn’t been to Dinkyland since I was in grade school, and I didn’t remember it being this crowded. It was on a completely different level from Fantastia Land.

Elena and I joined the line, chatting about anime and VTubers while we waited for our turn (also taking care not to mention any recognizable names, just in case). Our conversation was so much fun that the wait seemed to fly by.

I’d researched the cost of the park tickets before our date. In order to have enough money to buy one and have a little extra left over, I would have to use a good share of my savings. As Elena’s boyfriend, I’d have liked to be able to pay for her ticket too, but at the end of the day, I was still in high school, so such aspirations were beyond my financial reach. Anyway, Elena had a job, and I didn’t. I would feel ridiculous offering to pay for her.

I saw how much Nishina’s mom paid for our Fantastia Land tickets. Now that I think about it, those were really cheap...

Once we’d gotten our tickets, we went through the baggage check and entered the park. One look at my surroundings was enough to blow me away.

“Wow...”

The park’s buildings were of amazing quality, so much so that it felt like I’d suddenly stepped into another world. I didn’t remember much about my last trip here as a kid, but I did remember having tons of fun and liking it a lot.

“Look!” Elena squealed. “It’s Minky Mouse! Can we line up to get a picture with her?”

“Of course!” I replied, entertained by how adorable she sounded. This was probably the first time I’d seen her get so excited about anything not otaku-related.

Girls really do go crazy for this stuff, huh? That’s really cute.

After asking a staff member to take our picture together with Minky Mouse, we headed toward the attractions. Since I wasn’t that familiar with the park’s rides, I left the choice to Elena. Her choice was the newest attraction, based on a recent animated masterpiece from the Dinky Studios.

“A two-hour wait?!” I cried, shocked, when I saw how long the line was.

“Is that too long?” Elena asked.

“N-No! Not at all! I was just surprised!”

It’s crazy that there are so many people willing to stay in line for two hours to ride this... The waiting times for the attractions at Fantastia Land were fifteen minutes tops. The crowds there were nothing compared to this... just like the quality of the attractions.

Realizing that I had to adjust my standard of what a reasonable waiting time was, I lined up with Elena. At least being able to chat with her about otaku stuff turned an otherwise boring wait into a pleasant experience. She really is the perfect otaku girlfriend for me... There aren’t many girls around that I could have this kind of conversation with.

Even though adrenaline-inducing roller coasters were more my jam, I enjoyed the slow ride, which involved passing faithfully recreated movie scenes acted out by realistic animatronics.

“That was so cute! Did you like it?” Elena asked me with a smile once the ride was over.

“Yes! It was fun,” I said. To be honest, though, it was more fun seeing her enjoying herself so much.

We went on to try out a few more rides, taking short pauses between each to enjoy food from the various stalls. All the attractions had long lines, but Elena and I never ran out of topics to chat about, so I had tons of fun.

“I’m beyond happy to be here with you,” Elena said after we left our fourth ride.

“M-Minami...”

Seeing her smile at me, I was overtaken by happiness... and guilt. She was saying something so sweet to me, and yet I wasn’t completely focusing on her—part of me just couldn’t stop thinking about how Kokoro was going on a date with Yuya at that very moment.

Whenever Elena said things like this, I could tell she really liked me, even if I didn’t fully understand why. And, each time, I would wonder how we’d ended up together. How the voice actress behind Emily Saionji had told me to keep her secret when I’d found out. How I somehow became the only person she could ask for advice regarding her VTubing career.

This story explained how we had met each other, but it was missing the most important piece: how I’d managed to get to the point of being able to strike up a conversation with a girl and befriend her in the first place.

It’s all thanks to Nishina. She taught me how to dress, she taught me how to look half-decent for girls, and she gave me advice on how to act on my date with Minami. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have a girlfriend. More importantly, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

“Th-Thank you, Minami.”

“I’m sorry. It’s like I’m the only one enjoying myself...”

“N-Not at all! I’m having fun too!”

Elena paused, looking at me with the park map in her hands as we stood to the side of the path. “Then... is there an attraction you want to visit?”

“Hmm... What’s that one?” I asked, pointing to the attraction closest to us—a mysterious-looking European-style mansion.

“Oh, that? That’s the Haunted Manor.”

“As in, like a haunted house?”

“Exactly! I love it! Shall we go there?”

Ugh, why does it have to be a haunted house of all things?

“You like that sort of thing?” I asked her. “Like, horror and stuff...”

“I like to think so. I’m not scared that easily, you know?”

“W-Well then... I want to go there.” I’d visited that exact same attraction once as a child, but I couldn’t remember anything about it.

We lined up and chatted until it was our turn. We only had to stand for an hour, which, compared to that of the more popular rides, was a relatively short waiting time.

Unlike a traditional haunted house, where you walked through a series of spooky corridors, you sat in a cart in the Haunted Manor which slowly took you through the place, giving you more time to enjoy the view. Each cart could seat two people, which, in this case, was Elena and me.

“Eeeek! Hahaha!”

While we cruised through the Western-style building infested by Western-style ghosts, I could hear Elena’s cute reactions—a mix of shrieks and laughter that made it clear she was spooked, but certainly not terrified. She had obviously been telling the truth about not being easily scared.

To be honest, though, this attraction wasn’t really trying to be scary in the first place. The effects and animatronics looked awesome, but, despite the horror setting, they were mostly meant to be humorous. That made even more sense considering I’d seen little children lining up at the entrance.

I bet Nishina would still be screaming for her life though. She was shaking like a leaf from that silly little place in Fantastia Land. What’d happen if she ever went there with Yuya? There’s something cute about a girl being scared, but she definitely crosses the line into “annoying” territory. I can almost see him covering his ears, wondering what’s wrong with her...

“I see you’re enjoying this way more than the last ride!” Elena said, staring at my face with her large eyes.

“Huh?”

The inside of the manor was quite dark, but we were sitting close enough to be able to make out each other’s faces.

“You’re smiling so much...” she explained, and I noticed that I was indeed grinning like an idiot.

“H-Hahaha! It’s because this place is so fun!”

I was thinking about Nishina again... I shouldn’t be thinking about her today at all! And why was I grinning like that? Anyway, they’re probably sitting together in that café right now.

I wonder how she’s doing. When I talked with Yuya, it was pretty clear he liked her back. I’d be surprised if they didn’t end up becoming boyfriend and girlfriend after today. And after their meal, they’ll go to karaoke together... Maybe they’re already there, alone together, having fun... That’s good for them.

I shouldn’t be worrying about her. I shouldn’t even be thinking about her. Why do I keep doing it then?! It’s like the tenth time today...

As we left the Haunted Manor, Elena suddenly froze.

“Wh-What’s wrong?” I asked.

“S-Sorry... I thought I saw a friend of mine, but it was just someone who looks like her...”

Just like when Nishina and I went to Fantastia Land! The coincidences never end! Though those really were Nishina’s friends back then...

“Ichigaya?”

This time, it was Elena wondering what was wrong with me, as I’d also come to a sudden stop.

“O-Oh, it’s nothing. I’m just glad it wasn’t your friend, that’s all.”

“Hm? Why?”

“Because if it really were, they would find out that we’re dating, and you could end up being made fun of for it...”

“Actually, I’m not planning on hiding the fact that you’re my boyfriend. If anything, I’d like to introduce you to my friends, given the opportunity,” she said, against all of my expectations.

I may have just said something rude.

“Oh! Th-Thank you...” I replied, extremely grateful for her consideration.

I wasn’t a boyfriend worth boasting about. Especially not for a girl like Elena. And yet, she thought so highly of me as to want to show me off to her friends. She was just too kind. She was also beautiful, hardworking, and a talented voice actress despite being so young... Elena was out of my league in every conceivable way. The fact that she’d become my girlfriend was nothing short of a miracle.

Why, then? Why can’t I concentrate on my date with her? Why does my mind keep wandering back to what Nishina’s doing?

Back at Fantastia Land, Kokoro had stood up for me, going as far as getting mad at her own friends.

“Don’t talk about Ichigaya like that. You don’t know the first thing about him!”

She’d saved me by saying that, and that wasn’t the only time she’d done so. She’d stood up for me in the same way during my confrontation with Mashiro. And afterward, when I was hurt and depressed, she had been there to comfort me. Kokoro had been the one keeping me going time after time. She’d given me the strength to come all this way.

But now we don’t live together anymore, and I have a girlfriend. A perfect girlfriend who likes me for me... but I can’t stop thinking about Nishina.

Only now, when we weren’t even living together anymore, did I finally realize how happy the days I’d spent with my roommate were. The more I thought about it, the more memories flooded my mind. But it’s too late. We went our separate ways. We have nothing to do with each other anymore.

“Ichigaya...” Elena’s voice made me snap back to reality. She was looking at me with a concerned expression.

“Mina—”

“You were thinking about someone, weren’t you?” she asked me with a sad smile.

About someone? Well...

“Right now... there’s someone in your heart. Someone who’s not me,” she said.

How did she notice that?

“I-I’m sorry!” I bowed apologetically at her. She’d realized what was going on in my head, and I felt like an idiot. I shouldn’t subject her to this. The least I could do now was be honest. I wouldn’t hide the truth from her any longer. “I’m so sorry, I...”

I tried to ignore it, but that turned out to be pointless. I should have noticed earlier... or maybe I did notice, but I didn’t want to admit the truth to myself. I have Minami. Nishina has Yuya. We can’t be together. But I can’t keep lying to myself. Running away from my own feelings will hurt Minami... I’m such a horrible person.

“Yes,” I said. “You’re right... I... I’m in love with Nishina.”

Only after saying it out loud did I realize how true that was. I loved Kokoro. After living with her, spending so much time with her, struggling alongside her... I’d fallen in love with her strength and her kindness.

Minami let out a single gloomy laugh. “Hah... Since we first started dating—actually, even before that—I imagined that might be the case,” she said.

“What?!”

I had always liked Elena. I was sure of that. But some time since our meeting, without me realizing, my love for Kokoro had taken shape. My feelings had always been skewed by one assumption: that Kokoro could never like me in a romantic way. I hadn’t realized I loved her, because I knew that I shouldn’t love her. When I’d learned that she could end up dating Yuya, pain had welled up in my chest. I’d been trying not to think about it, but maybe it was too late. Maybe I was already in love with her.

“Ichigaya... I love you. I loved you before we started dating, and I love you now.” Elena’s words pierced through my chest like a dagger. “That’s why I was so worried,” she said, still smiling. “Worried that you loved someone else.”

“But that’s...”

“I know that saying it right now isn’t fair... but I wanted to talk more with you, to meet up with you more often, only... I had a hunch that you probably didn’t feel the same way. That made it difficult to invite you out.”

Is that how she felt all along? She said that it’s like nothing’s changed since before we were dating. Now I know what she meant. She wanted to become closer to me...

“I like you a lot, but I can tell that you’ve never liked me quite as much.”

“I’m sorry, Minami. All this time, I’ve been hurting you...”

“No, please! You shouldn’t apologize. I’ve enjoyed every minute I’ve spent with you, and I only have myself to blame if I’ve lost to Nishina,” Elena said with a joyless laugh.

How can she be so kind to me after I’ve broken up with her like this?!

“That’s not true! You’re such a wonderful, perfect girl! I always thought you were too good for me...”

“I’m truly happy to hear that. Thank you for everything, from the bottom of my heart. Nothing could make me happier than for you to be happy with the girl you love. I wish only the best for you and for Nishina.”

I watched as tears began to trickle down Elena’s soft cheeks. I just broke up with such a kindhearted girl... I must be the greatest idiot in all of human history.

“Thank you, Minami! And sorry! Sorry for everything!”

There were so many more things that I wanted to tell her: how happy I was to have met her, how much I enjoyed my time with her too, and how I still wanted to root for her as a voice actress. But I didn’t have the right to say any of that. All I could do was apologize.

“I’ll keep chasing my dreams, and one day, I’ll become a great voice actress! So great that you’ll regret not staying with me! So... keep cheering me on, okay?” Elena had put all of her soul into the smile she was showing me. Her eyes, however, were filled with tears. She turned around so that I could no longer see her crying and then started running.

“Mi—” I started to call out to her, but I stopped. It wouldn’t have been right. Elena had forced herself to smile up until the end just so I wouldn’t feel guilty.

I don’t deserve her kindness... but she kept giving it to me. Even at a time like this.

I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for not being able to make you happy. And... thank you for loving someone like me.