Chapter 1: A Bisque Doll’s Tears

1

Kyoto Teramachi-Sanjo’s antique store Kura has many different items on display. A Shino tea bowl which is considered a national treasure from the Momoyama period, an old Kutani plate, a jar from China’s Ming dynasty... I get to admire all sorts of antiques on a daily basis while I’m working here, which I really appreciate. All of them are beautiful, and I never get tired of looking at them. I was never this fascinated with antiques until I started working here.

That said, there’s just one thing I can’t bring myself to like: the bisque doll... It’s an antique doll from the West. It wears a frilly white blouse with a red ribbon in front and a red skirt. It has long, flowing blonde hair, and there’s a hint of loneliness in its glossy blue eyes. Despite thinking that it’s very beautiful—or perhaps because of its beauty—I shiver when I look at it. The first time I came to Kura, I felt scared when I saw it. I’m not sure if it’s because my first impression has stayed with me, but I still feel uncomfortable around it.

I still have to take care of it, though. I combed its hair, dusted it off, and carefully sat it in its chair, the way I always do. Then I immediately looked away, my eyes settling vaguely on the tabletop calendar. It was January 8th. Both New Year’s and the Festival of Seven Herbs were over. The floods of kimono-clad tourists were gone, and the streets of Kyoto were now calm. What hadn’t changed was the piercing cold that seeped in between the fibers of my clothes no matter how many layers I wore. Even though it was my second winter here, I still wasn’t used to the cold. It’s always really warm inside Kura though, and I’m thankful for that...

I looked outside the window. Since it was still winter break, there were a lot of tourists. Tourists, huh? I turned around and looked at Holmes who was sitting at the counter. “Holmes, when people from the Kanto region visit Kyoto, where do you think they should go sightseeing?”

“Sightseeing?” Holmes looked up at me.

“Yes.”

“Did one of your friends from Saitama ask you that?”

“Yes.” I nodded. As usual, he immediately read my mind. “My friend from Saitama is going to Osaka for a relative’s wedding. They said they could come to Kyoto for a day and asked me to take them somewhere nice.”

I was happy to be able to see my friend, but being asked to take them “somewhere nice” was a lot of pressure. I moved to Kyoto one and a half years ago, and thanks to working at Kura, I’ve been taken to a lot of places: Shimogamo Shrine, Ninna-ji Temple, Hyakumanben Chion-ji Temple, Kurama Temple, Kifune Shrine and the river terrace, the Philosopher’s Walk, Ginkaku-ji Temple, Tofuku-ji Temple, Suzumushi Temple, Arashiyama, Tenryu-ji Temple, Genko-an Temple... But deciding on a recommendation was hard. There were too many wonderful places to choose from. If it were the cherry blossom season, I could recommend Ninna-ji Temple or the Philosopher’s Walk. If it were May, I could take them to Shimogamo Shrine. Summer would be Kurama or Kifune, fall would be Tofuku-ji Temple, Genko-an Temple, or Nanzen-ji Temple. But what would be good for winter? I could take them to the Eight Temples and Shrines of Shinkyogoku that we visited at the end of the year, but...

“Can your friend only come to Kyoto for one day?”

“Yes.”

“And I’m assuming you’d be limited to daytime.”

“I think so.” They’d probably leave Osaka in the morning, meet up with me just before noon, and then go back in the evening.

“Does your friend often come to Kyoto?”

“No, they said it’s going to be their first time in Kansai at all.”

“They never came to Kyoto on a school trip?”

“Apparently their middle school went to Hokkaido instead.”

“In that case, I think you should go the orthodox route.” He nodded firmly.

I tilted my head. “Orthodox?”

“Yasaka Shrine, Kiyomizu-dera Temple, and then a walk around Gion. It’s not original, but they’ll be able to experience Kyoto’s essence in its fullest.”

“I see. You’re right. I think Makoto will enjoy that.” Come to think of it, I’ve been wanting to go to Kiyomizu-dera Temple too. I went there on a middle school trip before, but I hadn’t visited again since moving here. My friend’s probably expecting a thorough tour since I’ve become a Kyoto resident now... Will I be able to do it? They’re coming all the way to Kyoto to see me, so I want them to have fun.

“Makoto...? Is your friend male by any chance?” Holmes asked quietly, looking down at the accounting book.

I shook my head. “No, she’s a girl.”

“I see.” He looked up and smiled softly. “You’re still friends with her, then?”

He was probably referring to the drama with my ex-boyfriend and best friend. I lost a lot of friends when that happened.

“Ah, yeah. She wasn’t in that group. I knew her because we were in the same club.”

“Oh, you were in a club?”

“Yes, although I didn’t join another one after moving here.” I have my hands full with work now.

“It was a sports club, right?” he asked confidently.

I nodded hesitantly. “Yes. You can tell?”

“Ever since you started working here, your responses to your seniors have been firm. I thought the habit might’ve been drilled into you from a sports club hierarchy. Was it tennis?”

“Y-Yes. Oh no, is it because my right arm is thicker than my left?” I unconsciously rubbed my right arm. I played a lot of tennis for four years until my first year of high school, and my right arm is still thicker. It secretly bothers me.

“Not at all. Everyone’s dominant arm tends to be thicker, so it’s not because of that. I just had the feeling that you’d prefer solo sports like tennis or track and field over team sports like basketball or volleyball. You didn’t have the aura of a former runner, though, so I guessed tennis.”

I did choose tennis because I preferred playing solo. No wonder he’s Holmes.

“Tennis is fun,” Holmes continued. “Would you like to play sometime?”

“Oh, you play tennis too?”

“Yes, I’d say it’s one of my better sports.”

“It does seem like it’d suit you.” He’d be like a fairytale prince, playing tennis with that graceful aura.

“Did you know that in tennis, the most blackhearted player wins?”

“Huh?”

“I’m confident in my ability to attack my opponent’s psyche. My wickedness isn’t just for show.” Holmes chuckled.

I silently nodded. I take that back. He’s definitely not a fairytale prince. As his appearance suggests, Holmes is indeed kind and chivalrous. He has a gentle, refined demeanor. But on the other hand, he’s quite an eccentric and he’s wicked at times. He’s stubborn and hates to lose. He also has a bit of a blackhearted side. It threw me off at first, but now I’m completely accustomed to it. I’m rarely surprised by his quirks or two-facedness anymore.

“Oh right, I have a recommended route from Yasaka Shrine to Kiyomizu-dera Temple. Would you like me to teach it to you in advance?” Holmes suggested.

“Y-You will?” I leaned in excitedly. I was really thankful since I wasn’t sure if I’d be a good guide.

“Of course. Come to think of it, I haven’t been to Kiyomizu-dera in several years now even though I live nearby. I’d like to visit too.”

“I really want my friend to have fun, so I appreciate it.”

“In that case, how about this Saturday? I’ll ask my father to watch the store. We can visit Yasaka Shrine and then go to Kiyomizu-dera.” He smiled gently, his eyes narrowing into arcs.

“O-Okay!” I nodded eagerly.

Yasaka Shrine and Kiyomizu-dera Temple. It really is an orthodox route, but then again, it’s orthodox for a reason. Excited to get to do some sightseeing, my heart raced as I marked the date on the tabletop counter.

2

Then it was Saturday. After enthusiastically getting ready in the morning, I got on the bus to Yasaka Shrine. Since Kiyomizu-dera was going to be an uphill walk, I made sure to wear flats. Actually, either way, Kyoto sightseeing mostly consists of shrines and temples which all have stairs and gravel. High heels are problematic—I’ll have to tell my friend that. One time when I was visiting a nearby shrine, I happened to be wearing sandals and a piece of gravel got under my foot, which sucked. I considered wearing sneakers today because of that, but since it was a bit of a special outing, I went with a cute pair of mid-calf boots that were easy to walk in. It might be rude to Holmes to think this, but even though he’s just going to teach me how to show my friend around, going to Yasaka Shrine and Kiyomizu-dera with him feels like...a date. Wait, what am I thinking? I already decided not to see him that way. Despite cautioning myself, I suddenly felt anxious. I looked at my reflection in the window and adjusted my bangs.

I got off the bus at Gion, right by the entrance to Yasaka Shrine. The large vermilion two-storied gate at the end of Shijo Street is called the West Romon gate. Holmes and I were going to meet up at the bottom of the stone stairs there. I’m a bit early, but knowing him, I’m sure he’s already there. I jogged over, feeling bad for keeping him waiting. However, I didn’t see him there, which was a relief.

“Hey there cutie, are ya free?” came a voice from behind me. Shocked, I turned around—and saw Holmes with a mischievous grin on his face.

I stared at him wide-eyed. “H-Holmes?!”

“I’m sorry.”

“B-Being sorry isn’t the issue here. How long were you behind me?” I hadn’t seen him at all from the bus stop until the stairs.

“I arrived early, so I went for a walk in Maruyama Park. When I left, I spotted you running to the meeting place, so I couldn’t help it.” He chuckled.

I felt the strength leave my body. “You were like a completely different person, hitting on me from behind in a Kansai accent.”

“Your glare when you turned around was something else.”

“Oh, um, sorry.” Was I glaring that hard?

“It’s fine. The world is full of bad men, so when someone calls out to you like that, please don’t hesitate to kick them.”

“This is the first time a man ever called out to me on the streets like that.” I shrugged.

Holmes smiled cheerfully. “Shall we go?”

“Okay.”

We climbed the West Romon gate steps. The long stone stairway continued all the way to the main shrine building. Lots of stalls were set up on both sides of the stairs, making for a fun and exciting atmosphere.

“It’s still in New Year’s mode here, huh?” I remarked.

“No, there are always festival-style stalls here.”

“Really? I guess that’s Yasaka Shrine for you. It was really festive the other night too.” Holmes, Akihito, and I had come here for the first shrine visit of the new year. After that, we stayed up all night playing card games at Holmes’s apartment and watched the first sunrise... I had a lot of fun that night.

Holmes peered into my face while I was lost in thought and asked, “Is something the matter?”

My heart skipped a beat. “I was remembering New Year’s Eve. Now that I think about it, whenever I go somewhere with you, Akihito is there too, huh?”

Holmes’s eyebrow twitched. He looked around us and then put his hand to his chest as if relieved.

“Wh-What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing. I was just afraid he’d pop out from somewhere. Speak of the devil, as they say. That man always appears when you least expect it.”

“You don’t have to worry about that today. He said he was making a live appearance at a studio in Tokyo.”

“Oh? How do you know that?”

“He made me sign up for his email newsletter a while back, and it said, ‘You’ll watch my live appearance, right?’ Didn’t he ask you to sign up too?”

“Yes, I did register for it, but the content always fails to catch my interest, so I often don’t read it.”

Poor Akihito.

When we reached the top of the stairs, I saw the main building on the other side of the large shrine grounds. There was a row of three large bells spaced evenly apart. I walked in front of the middle bell, put my offering in the box, and placed my hands on the thick rope. Holmes and I rang the bells together, bowed twice, clapped twice, recited the traditional prayer that begins with, “O Gods, purify us from evil,” bowed once more, and then left the building. There were a lot of people in the shrine grounds.

“Yasaka Shrine is always crowded, huh?” I said.

“Indeed. Part of it is because Gion is a symbol of Kyoto, and part of it is because its main deity is Susanoo-no-Mikoto.”

“Is Susanoo-no-Mikoto a popular deity?”

“Personally, I associate him with festivals and liveliness. That might be why people are drawn to him.”

We left the shrine through the south gate, like we did on New Year’s. Unlike the main road, there weren’t many people here, so it was easy to get through. There were traditional shops and cafes here and there, and even someone pulling a rickshaw. We walked to the end of the path and turned left. Suddenly, the five-story pagoda was right in front of my eyes.

“Wh-Whoa, it’s like the pagoda appeared out of nowhere.”

“Yes. When you walk from the south gate and exit onto Yasaka Street, Yasaka Tower appears in front of your eyes. Doesn’t it feel like magic?”

“Y-Yes, it surprised me.” I hadn’t seen the tower at all while we were walking, but once we turned the corner, it was suddenly there. The scenery gripped my heart.

“This is my recommended path, Aoi. Feel free to use it when you’re showing your friend around.” He held up his index finger and grinned.

“Yes, I really want to.” I nodded firmly. “Anyway, Yasaka Tower is pretty far from Yasaka Shrine, huh?” I said, looking up at the magnificent five-story pagoda towering over us.

“This pagoda belongs to Hokan-ji Temple, not Yasaka Shrine. It’s nicknamed Yasaka Tower because it’s on Yasaka Street.”

“Yasaka Tower isn’t related to Yasaka Shrine? Oh right, only temples have this kind of tower. Sorry, I’m a hopeless high school girl.”

“No need to apologize.”

We continued walking up the slope. Various shops lined both sides of the narrow path, selling folding fans, ceramic tea bowls, spices... I also saw a sign for a famous boiled tofu restaurant. We continued onto Sannenzaka, a pedestrian road that was also lined with shops. I saw a sign that said Sanneizaka in unfamiliar characters.

“Sanneizaka?” I tilted my head.

“This is Sannenzaka’s original name. It’s said that the name means ‘praying for safe birth’ because Hideyoshi Toyotomi’s wife Nene prayed for childbirth at Kiyomizu-dera Temple.”

“What about Ninenzaka, then?” Sannenzaka is written as “three-year slope,” and Ninenzaka is written as “two-year slope.”

“Since Sanneizaka is commonly called Sannenzaka, the street in front of it was named Ninenzaka.”

“That’s not very imaginative.”

“Indeed.” Holmes nodded. “Oh, please wait here.” He stopped on one of the stairs and went inside a store.

Does he know someone there or something? I waited absentmindedly for a bit before Holmes came back holding two bags of Ajari mochi—the rice cakes we’d eaten at Kura before.

“This one’s for you,” he said. “Buying Ajari mochi here and stuffing your cheeks with them while walking to the temple is quite a trendy thing to do.”

“W-Wow, thanks!” It’d been a while since I last had Ajari mochi. I tore the package open and took a bite out of one of the round rice cakes. The slightly warm, springy snack was truly delicious. “Th-This Ajari mochi is so warm and delicious. It’s like it’s freshly made.”

“Right?” Holmes ate his rice cakes too.

We reached the top of the stairs. Since it was a Saturday, there was quite a crowd there. Regular sightseers, students on field trips, and foreign tourists were cheerfully walking up the slope. The rows of gift shops were also bustling with people. It’s an exciting place no matter when you come.

I looked up the slope and saw an enormous vermilion two-story gate. I also saw people taking pictures in front of the stone steps. Holmes has taken me to a lot of places before, but I don’t think any of the other temples were this cheerful and fun. A lot of them were solemn or majestic, but they weren’t places that could excite everyone who came.

“Kiyomizu-dera really is amazing,” I murmured.

“Indeed. No matter when you come, it’s always overflowing with energy. Simply being here on the path gives you a taste of the extraordinary,” Holmes said earnestly, nodding.

We climbed the stone stairs, passed through the two-story gate, and entered the temple grounds. Even though so many people were here, it wasn’t jam-packed. Holmes swiftly paid the entrance fee as usual and handed me a ticket that looked like a bookmark. “Here you go.”

“Thank you.” The entrance fee here seemed cheaper than the other temples. Is it because so many people come here that they don’t need to charge more?

We went inside. To our left, there was a large iron staff that had been used by the warrior monk Benkei. I remember this—during our school trip, everyone surrounded it and talked about how cool it was.

“This staff brings back memories,” I said.

“It belonged to Benkei. Apparently it weighs seventeen kilograms.”

“Seventeen?! Did Benkei really use this?”

“Who knows?” Holmes laughed as we went further inside.

We walked out onto the famous “Kiyomizu stage” which jutted out from the main building. Kyoto Tower was to our right. The stage looked out over the city of Kyoto, but right below us was a vast sea of greenery. Looking down was a bit scary for me, since I wasn’t comfortable with heights.

“It really is high up,” I said.

“Yes, it’s supposedly as tall as a four-story building.”

“It feels higher than that, though. I’m amazed that they were able to build it on this cliff.” The stage was held up by crisscrossed pillars. Maybe it feels higher because it’s sticking out from the hill.

“Indeed. This steep cliff is called Kinunkei. The wooden lattice is built using a construction style called kakezukuri. There isn’t a single nail used in this lattice of giant zelkova pillars, the longest of which are around twelve meters long. It’s an incredible work of art, right?” Holmes explained passionately.

I smiled. It is artistic.

“Come to think of it, Holmes, you said before that Kiyomizu-dera was your favorite temple, right? Is it because of the artistry of this wooden architecture?”

“That’s one part of it, but I feel like this place encompasses all of Kyoto. The temple’s beauty, its tremendous history, the modern landscape, and the unchanging view all draw people in, myself included,” he said softly.

I nodded quietly. He’s right. I do feel like all of Kyoto is condensed in this place. That allure must be why no matter how many times you come here, you still want to come again. I’m sure that the lush green mountains in front of us are the same scenery that people saw here long ago.

3

We continued along the designated route, exiting the temple building. I saw a sign saying “Jinushi Shrine.” I remembered going there on my school trip too.

“Now that I think about it, it’s kind of strange for there to be a Shinto shrine on a Buddhist temple’s grounds, right?” I asked.

“Are you talking about Jishu Shrine?” Holmes replied.

“Oh, those characters are read as ‘Jishu’? I thought they said ‘Jinushi.’”

“Yes, when a shrine or temple is built, a ‘jishu’—or ‘landowner’—shrine is also built to worship the local resident deity. Until the Meiji period, Shinto and Buddhism were considered the same religion. You could call Kiyomizu-dera Temple and its Jishu Shrine a remnant of that time.”

“What? Shinto and Buddhism used to be considered the same?”

“Yes. It was believed in the Meiji period that in order to make Shinto the national religion, they needed to prohibit the amalgamation of the two religions. It was called the ‘separation of Shinto and Buddhism,’ but... Well, setting that aside, I think that this is the most famous Jishu Shrine in the country. It’s known for enshrining Okuninushi, the god of marriage,” Holmes explained. “Shall we go?”

I nodded and started climbing the somewhat steep stone stairway with him. The shrine of love and marriage was packed with young girls. Next to the statue of Okuninushi-no-Mikoto was another one of a rabbit—the White Hare of Inaba that Okuninushi encountered in an ancient myth. One of the shrine’s famous “love divination stones” was at the entrance, while the other was farther inside. If you can walk from one stone to the other with your eyes closed, then you’ll find love, or so the legend goes. A lot of girls were in the process of attempting it.

“This is nostalgic too,” I said. “Everyone in my class did it.”

“Do you want your fortune told?”

“U-Um, I’m fine. I don’t care about love right now.”

“You don’t care?”

I looked down, feeling like I wanted to run away. Since Holmes and I had been getting along well, I once thought that I might’ve been special to him. But I soon realized that it was just my conceited assumption. Holmes is the same to all women: kind, gentlemanly, and at times, wicked. There was nothing special about me. I was glad that I realized before my misunderstanding got worse. And I’m drawing a line between us so that I won’t have any more wild misunderstandings from now on. If I do fall in love with Holmes, he’ll surely notice right away. Then it’ll be too awkward for me to stay at Kura. I don’t want to lose that beloved place, so I’m trying to prevent that. But regardless of my efforts, his actions are constantly making my heart race. This isn’t love, this isn’t love, I chant to myself. Holmes is an unfair Kyoto guy—it’s not my fault.

“L-Let’s move on to the next place, Holmes. I don’t have anything to do here.”

“All right.” Holmes nodded.

We left Jishu Shrine. As we continued down the path, I saw Kiyomizu-dera’s stage looking out over the area. It was the panoramic view of the temple that you often see in guidebooks or videos. The protruding stage was surrounded by greenery. Underneath, it was supported by a grid of long zelkova pillars.

“This feels like the Kiyomizu-dera I know,” I said. The scenery was familiar, but seeing it up close made me realize just how beautiful it was.

“Isn’t it great? It really is my favorite temple,” Holmes said passionately, looking at it.

I nodded. “‘Jumping from Kiyomizu’s stage’ is a common saying that means ‘taking the plunge,’ right?”

“There are a lot of people who really did jump off as a form of prayer. According to literature, more than two hundred people jumped off in the Edo period.”

I coughed loudly. “A-As a form of prayer? Wouldn’t they obviously die?”

“The survival rate was surprisingly high—over eighty percent. Apparently the trees were denser back then, and the ground below was soft earth.”

“O-Oh. But why would they jump?”

“The belief was that if you entrusted your life to the almighty Kannon, your life would be saved and your prayer granted. However, the practice was banned in the early Meiji period.”

“I see. It makes sense that they’d ban it.”

We left Kiyomizu-dera Temple.

4

We had lunch at an Italian restaurant on Sanneizaka before continuing on to the bustling Gion shopping district of Ninenzaka. After that, we headed north on Kawabata Street.

Holmes stopped in front of a cafe and said, “Shall we have tea here?”

The building looked like it’d come straight out of an English picture book. A large clock was prominently featured in the center of the facade, and there was a light blue sign under it that said “CACAO MARKET.” It had a small patio with English-style street lamps and chairs. Right next to it was the Shirakawa River.

“I-It’s so cute! I didn’t know there was such a Western-style cafe in Gion!” I exclaimed in awe. It’s so lovely.

“It’s unexpected, but it fits in, right? Kyoto is a blend of Japanese and Western styles, after all.”

When we went inside, we were greeted by the sweet aroma of chocolate and the sight of a large dispenser that reached to the ceiling. As you could guess from the scent, the store was full of chocolate. Tables and shelves were packed with various jars and tins of it. It looked like a fancy chocolate shop, not a cafe. There was a tiny seating area, but it didn’t seem like you’d be able to relax with a cup of tea here.

“Are we having tea in here, Holmes?”

“The first floor is a chocolaterie, but there’s a cafe underground.”

“Oh, I see.” I nodded.

Holmes received a note from the store staff. “This way, Aoi,” he said, leaving the store.

“We’re going outside?” I asked, following him.

Holmes nodded and pointed at a door on the side of the store building. “That’s the entrance to the underground cafe.” He opened the door. Inside was another door, this time made of wood. It said “ANGEL LIBRARY” on it.

“Angel Library?”

“Yes. The angels watching over Cacao Market opened up their beloved library as an eating area because they wanted the customers to have a place to relax. That’s what the store’s official blog says, at least.” Holmes grinned mischievously.

I smiled and looked at the door. There was an old-fashioned number pad above the doorknob. “What’s this number pad?” I asked.

“You need the secret password from the chocolaterie. Please enter it, Aoi,” he said, handing me the note he’d received from the staff.

“Ah, okay. This is kind of exciting.” I entered the number and opened the door, revealing a staircase leading underground and a large clock on the wall. At the bottom of the dim stairs was a softly lit room with shelves full of Western books covering the walls.

“Wow! This is so nice.” It felt like we’d slipped into a fantasy world. The “angels’ library” really did look like a foreign library. Shelves teeming with Western books, dim lights, extremely quiet background music... The space felt far removed from everyday life. The thoroughness of the aesthetic made me nervous and excited just standing there.

We ordered chocolate fondant, and I hummed at the sugary goodness. “I could eat this forever. This place really is exciting.”

“I’m glad you like it. I once came here by myself, when I was trying to visit every cafe in Kyoto. It made me think, ‘A guy would definitely impress his date if he brought her here.’” Holmes smiled and drank his coffee.

I nodded firmly. “Definitely. Any girl would be happy to come here. I should tell the guys in my class about this place.”

Holmes’s eyes snapped wide open.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

“No, um, are you friends with the guys in your class?”

“I guess?”

“How close are you to them?” he asked bluntly.

I frowned. “How close?” A normal amount? “We make small talk, and the guy who sits next to me forgets his eraser a lot, so I lend him mine.”

“Are you sure he isn’t doing that on purpose?”

“What?”

“Is he forgetting it on purpose because he wants to get closer to you?” he asked in a low voice.

I choked. What is he saying? “Th-There’s no way. He borrows erasers from other people too. Besides, I think he has a girlfriend that he’s all lovey-dovey with. I don’t think he’s trying to get closer to me like that.”

“I see.” Holmes sighed as if relieved and took another sip of his coffee.

“Have you ever forgotten your eraser on purpose because you wanted to get closer to someone?” I asked, leaning forward a bit.

This time, Holmes choked. “No. I may be sly, but I’ve never considered using such a cutesy method of getting closer to someone.”

“You’re sly?”

“Yes, I’m a blackhearted Kyoto guy, after all.” He grinned, making my heart leap.

“What method would you use, then?” I prodded.

“Hmm.” He furrowed his brow. “I’m not sure. I’ve never ‘wanted’ a girlfriend before.”

“Huh? Why not?”

“It feels very bothersome.”

“Bothersome?”

“Yes, because when you’re dating someone, it cuts into your own time. Everything you do gets restricted by a single woman. I’d say I’m the kind of person who wants to live freely, spending my time the way I want.”

I nodded—that did seem like him. But that’s... “You sound kind of like one of those ‘modern disillusioned youth’ people have been talking about lately.”

“Perhaps, yes. But I don’t think of it as a bad thing. Though the national birth rate is declining, the worldwide population is experiencing explosive growth. People losing interest in romance could be a form of nature’s guidance.”

“Nature’s guidance... But you went out with Izumi, right?”

“Yes. I was happy that she confessed her feelings to me, and I was curious about what it’d be like to date someone.”

“You’d never been confessed to before that?”

“Correct,” Holmes said readily, nodding.

I was a bit surprised. “R-Really? I thought you’d be popular with girls.”

“Not at all. Even Izumi told me, ‘You’re nice to everyone, but you also seem unapproachable, so I was really scared to ask you out.’ Apparently I’d unconsciously built a wall around myself because I wasn’t interested in dating. I was glad that she worked up the courage to ask anyway despite sensing that wall.”

“Oh, I think I get what you mean.” I nodded.

“That’s how I arrived at my first relationship, but as you know, the result was catastrophic and made me even more disillusioned.”

“I-I see.”

Holmes had gone through a rough heartbreak. He cherished his girlfriend too much, and she was stolen by another man. Since he wasn’t originally interested in dating, it might’ve been inevitable that he’d distance himself from it even more after that experience.

“But lately, I’ve started thinking it might not be so bad to have a girlfriend around.”

“Huh?”

He cast his eyes down and said, “Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be tied down to someone.”

My mind instantly went blank. After a moment of silence, I said, “O-Oh, is that so? Y-You’re finally interested in dating again, huh?” I didn’t know why I was so flustered, but it felt like my voice was on the verge of cracking.

Holmes silently gave a vague nod.

“Th-That’s good. I’m sorry for being presumptuous, but I was a bit worried about you. I truly think it’s a good thing if you’re interested in love again. Yes. I’m sure you can get a girlfriend right away if you put your mind to it. Th-That’s right, you should bring her to this cafe first. She’ll definitely love it,” I blurted out quickly. Even I wasn’t sure what I was saying anymore. My heart was beating uncomfortably fast.

“Are you sure? Even if I brought her here, I don’t think it’d have that effect.” He smiled weakly.

“Wh-What? That’s not true. If you bring a girl here, I’m sure she’ll fall for you immediately.” I smiled, but my chest ached. I hate how strained my face must look right now.

“Immediately, huh...?” What looked like a self-deprecating smile rose to his face. “Oh right.” He looked up. “Don’t you think your friend will like this cafe too? The one who’s going to visit.”

“Y-Yes, I’m sure she will. Thank you for telling me about this great place.” I bowed, relieved that he’d changed the subject.

“My pleasure.” Holmes smiled gently.

5

After enjoying our time at Angel Library, we went back up to the chocolaterie to pick out some chocolate to buy. Once we paid at the register, a surprised voice called out from behind, “My, is that you, Kiyotaka?”

I turned around and saw an elderly woman wearing a kimono looking at Holmes with wide eyes. Is this another of the owner’s old friends?

“Grandma...” Holmes murmured.

Now I was the wide-eyed one. “Grandma.” Is she his actual grandmother? As in, the owner’s ex-wife and the manager’s mother?

“It really is you,” she said. “You’ve grown so much.” Her face wrinkled into a smile and she walked towards us. She was very pretty and elegant. She must’ve been beautiful when she was younger.

“We last met when I started university, so I haven’t gotten any bigger.”

“Yes, but you seem more mature now. It looks like you’re doing well.”

“Indeed. I’m glad that you seem to be doing well too.” Holmes smiled back at her, looking sincere.

“Is this your girlfriend?” She looked at me warmly.

“N-No, I’m a part-time employee at Kura. My name is Aoi Mashiro.” I hurriedly introduced myself and bowed deeply.

“Aoi has been a great help,” Holmes continued immediately.

“That means she’s helping Seiji and Takeshi too, then. Thank you very much, dear. I’m Kiyotaka’s grandmother, Tsubaki.” She bowed happily.

“Th-They’ve helped me a lot too,” I said, bowing again.

“Kiyotaka, since we’ve run into each other, would you like to come over? You two are done shopping, right?”

“No, I don’t have a single gift on me right now. I’ll come over another time,” Holmes declined politely.

“Why, we’re family. You don’t need to bring any gifts. Aoi, you’re welcome to join us. Could you tell me how Kiyotaka and Takeshi are doing? My house is close by.”

Feeling pressured, I hesitantly nodded.

“Wonderful. Shall we go?”

We left the store, half forced to by Tsubaki.

Tsubaki opened the gate and gestured for us to enter the yard. “Come right in.”

Her “close by” house was on a long, narrow, typical Kyoto alley that was accessed via one of Gion’s back streets. She had a well-maintained garden of beautiful camellia flowers—fitting because “Tsubaki” means “camellia.” It was an elegant Japanese-style residence that was large for the neighborhood. It had a big yard too.

“Th-This is a big house,” I murmured.

“After my grandmother divorced my grandfather, she married a wealthy realtor,” Holmes explained quietly so that Tsubaki wouldn’t hear.

So that’s why her house is so nice. I nodded, impressed.

Tsubaki stopped and turned around. “Oh right, Kiyotaka. Thank you so much for the birthday flowers last month. Forgive me for being away when you delivered them.”

“No worries.”

“Thank you for remembering every year. Also, Seiji sent me flowers this time too. It’s the first time he’s ever done this—I was so surprised.” Her eyes lit up happily.

Holmes looked startled. “He did?”

“You can’t believe it, right? They were splendid moth orchids. I was so astonished.”

“Perhaps it was to celebrate your seventy-seventh birthday,” Holmes said. Seventy-seven is a special age in Japanese culture. “He must’ve felt too guilty to send you flowers before.”

“What? It’s been more than fifty years since we separated. It’s reached the statute of limitations.” Tsubaki shrugged.

Statute of limitations...? I was told that the owner divorced because he was “too free-spirited.” If the words “guilty” and “statute of limitations” are coming up now, does that mean he cheated on her?

While I was mulling over it, Tsubaki waved at an elderly man who was watering the garden. “Yoshio, I met Kiyotaka at the chocolate store!”

This “Yoshio” seemed to be Tsubaki’s husband, which would make him Holmes’s step-grandfather. At a glance, he had the air of an untalkative old man. He looked at us with a grumpy frown.

Holmes bowed deeply upon making eye contact with him. “Long time no see. I’m sorry for the sudden intrusion. I trust that you’ve been well.”

“I-I’m Aoi Mashiro. It’s nice to meet you.” I bowed after him.

Yoshio bowed slightly without saying a word and quickly looked away. Eek, that was blunt. Maybe he doesn’t want to welcome his step-grandson?

“He’s shy.” Tsubaki gave a high-pitched giggle.

H-He is? I curiously looked at Yoshio.

“As my grandmother said, he’s shy. More accurately, he’s a socially awkward person who doesn’t know how to interact with someone in a complicated position like me,” Holmes whispered in my ear.

“Oh, I see.” I nodded, relieved.

“Meanwhile, my grandmother is even more whimsical and optimistic than my grandfather. She’s not two-faced at all.”

“I had a feeling.”

“I’m sorry things turned out this way.”

“No, don’t be.”

While we were whispering to each other, Tsubaki opened the sliding door to the house. “Come, come,” she said, beckoning to us. We hurried to the entrance.

Tsubaki led us to a Japanese-style room and said, “I just happened to receive some sweets from Kanshundo. Aren’t they pretty?”

On the table was a small plate of candies shaped like folding fans and apricot-colored New Year’s yokan—jellied desserts made of red bean paste, agar, and sugar.

“They really are,” I said. “I’ve never seen such pretty yokan before.”

“Kanshundo makes the loveliest sweets,” Tsubaki boasted.

Holmes picked up his matcha-filled tea bowl with a cheerful look on his face. “This is a wonderful Hagi tea bowl.”

“I couldn’t possibly offer you anything less,” his grandmother replied. “It’s no Kyusetsu, but it’s quite nice, right?”

“Yes, it’s a quality piece from the late Edo period.”

“Kyusetsu” is short for “Kyusetsu Miwa,” a famous line of potters that’s been active from the Edo period until now. Kyusetsu Miwa X and XI are certified Living National Treasures—a term for people who preserve important cultural traditions. It’s true that this tea bowl isn’t as good as a Kyusetsu one, but it’s still amazing. Makes sense, seeing as how she was once married to the owner.

“You must be happy to have a cute part-timer around, Kiyotaka.” Tsubaki’s eyes gleamed.

I choked on my tea.

“Yes, Aoi is very sweet and works to her utmost ability,” Holmes said unabashedly. “It’s a joy to have her.”

I felt like I was going to choke again. He’d really mastered the art of flattery.

“Well, Yoshio still calls me cute too, you know.” Tsubaki pouted, as if no longer amused by the conversation she’d brought up herself.

“That’s what matters most.” Holmes smiled cheerfully.

I’m surprised that that unsociable husband would call his wife “cute,” I thought while sipping the tea.

“Exactly. Seiji wasn’t the type to say that kind of thing. Really, he tried so hard before we got married, but afterwards, I got nothing. You be careful now, Aoi. You mustn’t choose a man who won’t feed the fish he’s caught.”

“O-Okay.” I nodded hesitantly.

“Well, I think my grandfather was just shy too.”

“True, he did send me those moth orchids.” Tsubaki smiled mischievously. “Oh right, are you still playing detective these days, Kiyotaka?”

Holmes grimaced for a moment before regaining his composure. “It was never my intent to ‘play detective,’ but is something the matter?”

“The strangest thing happened. Wait here,” she said, hastily standing up and leaving. A little while later, she returned with a bisque doll. “It’s about him.”

It was a boy doll. The instant I saw it, I went, “Oh!” I realized that it formed a set with the girl doll at Kura.

Holmes looked at me and smiled gently. “Did you notice?”

“Y-Yes. This bisque doll goes with the girl doll at the shop, right?”

“Correct.”

“I knew it.” Their faces and the luster of their skin and hair were the same. Most of all, their clothes—the girl doll at Kura wore a frilly white blouse with a red ribbon in front and a red skirt. This boy doll wore the same frilly blouse but with a light blue ribbon, and a pair of dark blue shorts. I instantly recognized them as a pair.

The first time I visited Kura, I was simultaneously captivated by and scared of the beautiful bisque doll. Perhaps it was because it was so elaborately designed that it felt like it had real emotions.

“Seiji gave me this when we got married. When we divorced and my things were sent to me, the boy doll was with them by itself,” Tsubaki explained. She then mumbled, “I bet he liked the girl doll and didn’t want to lose it.” She picked up the doll and giggled.

“Did something happen with the doll?” Holmes asked.

“Oh right. I don’t think anything of it, but my granddaughter who lives in the neighborhood called it scary.” She held the doll facing us and sat down.

I know how she feels. I gave a strained smile.

“I assume the doll has always been in this house. Is this the first time she called it scary?”

“It’d been sitting on a shelf in my room, but I recently moved it to the living room. At first my granddaughter said it was cute, but later she said that it was scary and cursed.”

“Cursed?” Holmes and I asked in unison.

“Right. She said, ‘This doll was crying.’” Tsubaki shrugged.

A crying doll...? It suddenly sounded like a horror story.

“How old is she?” Holmes asked. Even though he was her grandson too, she had another family with her new husband, so he must’ve not been familiar with them. That was the impression I got from his question, at least.

“She’s in middle school.”

Middle school... If it were a younger child, it wouldn’t be so strange that they thought the doll was scary. A middle school student was a different story.

“Oh? Did she actually see the doll crying?”

“She said that she heard the sound of crying, and when she went to the living room, the doll had fallen to the floor, and its eyes were wet with tears.”

“I see.” Holmes crossed his arms.

“After that, it started moving around,” the grandmother said nonchalantly.

A chill ran down my spine. “M-Moving?”

“Mmhm. Even though I put it on the shelf, I’ll find it on the sofa or in front of the dresser. I asked my family and no one knew why. Then my granddaughter said, ‘Can you do something about it? It’s creeping me out.’ It hasn’t done anything wrong, though.” She lovingly caressed the doll’s head.

I shuddered. I know how her granddaughter feels. Even if it isn’t doing anything wrong, it’s still creepy to have a doll that cries and moves from place to place. I didn’t want to say it, but the corresponding girl doll at Kura sometimes felt like it had wet eyes too, as though it could start crying at any moment. What if it’s crying when I’m not looking? Another chill ran down my spine.

“What do you think, Kiyotaka?” Tsubaki asked, leaning forward a bit.

“Hmm...” Holmes put his hand to his chin. “Did you bring that doll out last month?”

Tsubaki thought for a bit and then nodded. “Yes, at the end of the year.”

“How many times did your granddaughter hear it crying?”

“Once, apparently. She saw its wet eyes several times, though.”

“Does she visit you often?”

“Not as of late because school started again, but during winter vacation she came quite often.”

“Did the doll only move on days when she was here?”

“Come to think of it, yes. She often screamed, ‘It moved again! I hate this!’ I’m sure this boy hated being yelled at like that.” She gently caressed the doll’s head again.

Tsubaki seemed completely unfazed by the supernatural events—almost as if she was under the doll’s control. I shuddered again.

“Still, I can’t let my granddaughter be so spooked. I wonder if I should hire an exorcist.” She shrugged weakly.

“No,” Holmes said, shaking his head lightly. “It’s not possessed.”

“What’s the cause of this, then?”

“This is ultimately only my hypothesis, but...” He sat up straight. Tsubaki and I gulped and awaited his next words. “I suspect that this is the work of a human, not a supernatural phenomenon,” he said smoothly.

His grandmother blinked. “A human? Are you saying that someone in my family is doing it? Or that my granddaughter is lying?” she asked accusingly. Maybe she thought he was calling her granddaughter the culprit.

I think the granddaughter is the most suspicious, though. Could she have been making it all up?

“What was the reason why you brought the doll out, Grandma?”

“Hm? It suddenly felt nostalgic.”

“Is that because my grandfather sent you flowers?”

Tsubaki nodded immediately. “Yes. Seiji gave me flowers, and I thought, ‘How nostalgic,’ and brought out a few old things, including this doll.”

“Just to be sure, it wasn’t until recently that you told anyone that this bisque doll was a gift from my grandfather?” Holmes asked softly.

Tsubaki thought for a bit and then nodded. “I suppose.”

“My grandfather sent you flowers to celebrate your seventy-seventh birthday, and then you brought this doll out to the living room. Did your husband ask about it?” Holmes continued.

Tsubaki looked up at the ceiling as though searching her memories. “Yes. He asked why I suddenly brought it out, and I said, ‘I received flowers from Seiji, and I remembered that he gave me this as a gift.’”

I started at her words. Could it be that...?

“Can I see that?” Holmes asked, reaching for the doll. Tsubaki gave it to him and he held it in his arms. “I suspect that your husband was shocked to find out that this doll you loved so much was a gift from my grandfather.”

Tsubaki’s eyes widened. “He was?” Her face said that she’d never even considered this.

“First of all, I hear that the reason why my grandfather left you was because after you got married, he saw you ailing from an illness that wouldn’t go away, and he thought he’d become a god of pestilence.”

“A god of pestilence?” I blurted out.

“Apparently a shaman told him in the past, ‘Because you have defeated everything in your way and obtained all you could want, there is a potent karma swirling around you. However, you are under your ancestors’ powerful protection, so no harm will befall you. Instead, all of the karma will go to your spouse.’”

I was stunned speechless by the unexpected story.

“Don’t worry—the story itself is nonsense. However, it’s true that Grandma could not recover from her disease. After giving birth to my father, she fell deathly ill. When my grandfather saw her suffering, he was convinced that he’d become a god of pestilence and resolved to leave her.”

“Oh no...” This was my first time hearing the real reason why the owner got divorced. I didn’t know what to say.

“Yes, but it was such a shock to receive his farewell letter and the divorce papers while I was being treated at my family’s home. I think the anger sent my illness flying.” Tsubaki laughed in amusement, as though it’d become a funny story now that half a century had passed. Actually, if she can laugh about it like that, it must mean that she’s happy with her life now.

“I think that my grandfather sent you the boy doll as a replacement for himself, since he couldn’t stay by your side. He kept the girl doll with him as a replacement for you. I imagine he felt, ‘We can’t be together as husband and wife anymore, but I wish I could have stayed by your side.’”

Tsubaki stopped laughing and her face turned serious.

“Your husband must’ve recognized my grandfather’s intent. Wouldn’t it have been shocking for him to find out that the doll that you always doted on and treasured represented such sorrowful feelings? It may have negated all of the long married life you shared.”

“B-But I was only married to Seiji for five years. I’ve been with Yoshio for fifty!”

“Yes, I’m sure your husband thought that way too. However, between your delight upon receiving flowers from my grandfather and the truth behind the doll, he may have temporarily lost confidence. ‘What if I was a replacement for Seiji this whole time? What if she was in love with him the whole time she was married to me?’ It’s possible that he felt that way.”

“It couldn’t be...”

“After succumbing to those thoughts, it wouldn’t be unreasonable for him to cry. Alone in the room, he held the doll and wept, keeping his voice down. When he heard your granddaughter’s footsteps, he would’ve put the doll down and fled. Could it not be that the doll, abandoned on the floor, was wet with your husband’s tears?” Holmes spoke, staring at the doll.

“Why did the doll move, then?” his grandmother asked.

Holmes smiled wryly. “Since your granddaughter called the doll scary, your husband may have had a malicious idea. Perhaps he hoped that by changing the doll’s location, you would find it creepy too and return it to the Yagashira family,” he said hesitantly.

The truth behind the owner and Tsubaki’s divorce. The feelings that the owner put into this doll... Ironically, the person who interpreted those feelings correctly wasn’t Tsubaki—it was her current husband. Tsubaki had probably accepted the doll without thinking too deeply about it. When she received flowers for her seventy-seventh birthday, she was happy and remembered the doll. She really didn’t mean anything by it. She was simply too pure-minded to think any other way. Maybe that’s what the owner and her current husband loved about her.

“I’m a fool,” she said. “I can’t believe I didn’t understand Seiji’s feelings until they were explained to me just now, half a century later. I even hurt the person who’s taken care of me for so long... I’d hate it too if he treasured something he received from a woman a long time ago,” she murmured with a faraway look. Tears welled up in her eyes. She fell quiet, and the room remained silent for quite some time. However, it wasn’t an oppressive silence. It was gentle and somewhat sad.

After a while, Tsubaki smiled and said, “Kiyotaka, would you take this boy to Kura for me?”

Holmes nodded. “Certainly. The girl at our store has always looked lonely. I’m sure she’ll be overjoyed to see her sweetheart again after half a century. We’ll take good care of this boy.” He hugged the doll and bowed.

Maybe the owner sent her this doll thinking, “One day, we’ll be together again.” However, the chance for that is long gone. He and Tsubaki have both moved on with new partners. And now, the two bisque dolls that had been separated for half a century because of their owners’ circumstances can finally reunite.

“Thanks. Apologize to the girl for me too.” Tsubaki looked at the boy doll and said, “Thank you too. Get along with your girlfriend at Kiyotaka’s place, okay?”

I smiled at the heartwarming scene.

“Kiyotaka, Aoi, make sure you don’t make the same mistake I did. Don’t make assumptions. Express your feelings clearly and out loud.” She reached out to squeeze our hands. Her hand was very soft and warm.

“O-Okay,” I said. Feelings won’t get across unless you express them clearly. The heavy regret in her words made my chest ache.

“Especially you, Kiyotaka. If you want something, say so. Even as a child, you never said what you truly thought. You have to do that,” she said, looking squarely at Holmes.

Holmes opened his mouth to speak, but closed it and smiled weakly. Then he said, “You’re right. Now that I think about it, I was always able to easily obtain the things I was mildly interested in, but I could never obtain what I truly wanted. Before I knew it, I’d lost the ability to say, ‘I want that.’ I felt that if I didn’t say it, I wouldn’t be hurt if I lost what I wanted.” He spoke as if talking to himself.

Hearing him say that made the pain grow worse. Like he said, someone as smart, skilled, and adaptable as him would surely be able to obtain most things he was interested in. However, he couldn’t obtain what he really wanted. What if what he really wanted was his mother or his grandmother? His mother passed away when he was young, and his doting grandmother was in a different world. Maybe he’d long since given up on what he truly wanted.

“You’re a fool too,” Tsubaki said flatly. “Losing it after not saying so is bound to hurt more.”

Holmes ran his hand through his bangs. “You’re right,” he said, reverting to his Kyoto accent for the first time since we’d run into his grandmother. “Despite being oblivious about yourself, you understand me well.” He was smiling, but he looked like he was on the verge of tears. The pain was overwhelming me.

“Of course. I’m your grandma, after all.”

“Indeed. Thanks, Grandma.”

They looked at each other and smiled. I sniffed, desperately trying to hold back my tears.

6

“Thank you for having us,” I said, leaving the house just as Yoshio was coming in from the yard.

“Leaving already?” he asked awkwardly, not making eye contact.

“Yes,” Holmes said, seeming unbothered by Yoshio’s cold attitude. “Sorry for the sudden intrusion.” He bowed.

“Oh...” Suddenly, Yoshio noticed the bisque doll in Holmes’s arms, and his eyes widened. “That doll...”

“I’ll be taking it into Kura’s care,” Holmes explained succinctly.

Yoshio looked at Tsubaki, astonished.

Tsubaki grinned. “I’ve always been thinking of returning it. Running into Kiyotaka today was just perfect.”

“Really?” Yoshio asked, bewildered.

Tsubaki smiled. “You ought to buy me a new doll now.”

Yoshio looked conflicted. He hesitated before replying curtly, “If you want one, I guess I can.”

The clumsy husband and his naïve wife. I think they make a wonderful couple.

We bowed again and left through the gate. The sun was already setting. I looked up at the orange sky and saw the white moon floating over Gion. It was a beautiful scene, like something out of a painting.

“I’m sorry, Aoi. We were supposed to be sightseeing,” Holmes said apologetically.

I shook my head. “Don’t apologize. We did do a lot of sightseeing, and I’m really glad I got to talk to your grandma. She’s very nice.”

“Thank you for saying that.” He smiled happily.

“Let’s hurry back to Kura, Holmes.”

“Huh?”

“The girl at the store is waiting.” I took the bisque doll from Holmes and grinned.

“You’re right. She is.”

“Yep. She’s been waiting for fifty years!”

We looked at each other and laughed.

“Shall we go, then?” he asked.

“Yes.”

We walked side by side. Up until now, I always felt something sad and lonely whenever I looked at the bisque doll sitting in a chair at the store. Since I could sense those emotions, I felt scared of her. But now that this boy is here, I’m sure I won’t feel that way anymore. Kura will become a warmer, happier place. I looked down at the bisque doll in my arms and smiled softly.