Chapter 3: The Curse That Dwells in Words

1

Two months later, I was going about my life as usual, as if everything had been a dream. Between school and home, nothing had changed. Life was peaceful.

The only difference was that I wasn’t going to Kura. I told my friends and family that I was taking a long-term break from work to focus on entrance exams, so no one was worried about me. I didn’t cry or grieve. Instead, I immersed myself in my studies as if trying to escape. Some people are negatively affected by a heartbreak before exams, but in my case, it might’ve been a good thing. When I concentrated on studying, I didn’t have to remember the pain. I studied and studied, trying not to think about anything else.

“Hey, I heard that Holmes isn’t at the store these days,” said Kaori, coming up to my desk. It was lunch break at school.

“Huh?”

“Sis went to Kura yesterday and Rikyu was there instead. She said they talked about how Holmes hasn’t been coming to the store.”

Rikyu’s been helping out ever since I started focusing on entrance exams, so that part isn’t strange. But why isn’t Holmes going there? I hope it’s only because of university, but...

I had a bad feeling about this.

“And he’s been in Hyogo this whole time,” Kaori continued.

My eyes widened. “Hyogo?” Why would he be in another prefecture?

“Oh, you didn’t know?”

“N-No.”

“Maybe it’s work-related.”

“It probably is.”

“You think so?”

We moved on to other topics. TV shows, entrance exams, all sorts of things. But I didn’t tell her that Holmes had broken up with me. Not just Kaori—I hadn’t told anyone. I knew that everyone had their own opinions of Holmes, and since I understood his feelings very well, I didn’t want anyone to say anything at the moment. I didn’t want their consolation.

Besides, I hadn’t even accepted the breakup when he had practically forced me to get into the cab. Remembering that day made my heart ache. I knew I was struggling in vain. It was because the moment I said it out loud to someone, the breakup would become real. I was just refusing to admit it. That was why I went about my day trying not to look back on our memories together.

Despite that, whenever I let down my guard, those memories would vividly cross my mind. The gentle smile he always showed me. The time he rescued me on the night of the Gion Festival. All of the times he helped me. The time when I tried to confess to him, but he interrupted me with an embrace, saying, “I love you.” Our first kiss. The happy times we shared together at Kura. The taste of the coffee he brewed...

I felt like crying whenever I remembered, but I held back with all my might. I didn’t want to immerse myself in those memories, so I shook my head to send them away.

But if I continue to never see him, will our relationship really end this way, as if nothing happened?

After school, I walked my bike out of the school gate and turned on my phone as usual. Every time I picked up my phone, I secretly hoped that there’d be a message from Holmes.

I saw that I had no new messages, sighed, and shoved my phone back into my pocket. I looked up on a whim and saw a Valentine’s Day poster in a sweets shop.

Oh right, it’s already February.

Suddenly, my phone rang in my pocket. Startled, I took it out and looked at the screen—it was a call from Kura. My heart leaped.

“H-Hello?” I squeaked.

“Hello, Aoi. It’s been a while.” It was a gentle, nostalgic voice.

“Y-Yes, it has.”

“I’m sorry for the sudden call. Could we meet today, if you’re free?” he asked softly.

“Yes.” I gulped, bewildered.

2

The meeting place was a cafe on the Kyoto University campus. I’d had lunch there with Holmes on several occasions.

After the phone call, I biked to the university, parked my bike near the cafe, and walked across the spacious campus. It was just before 5 p.m., and the sun was beginning to set. The cold wind stung my cheeks.

“Aoi,” said the familiar voice.

I looked up and saw the manager. He was wearing a Burberry coat and carrying his usual bag.

“Manager...”

“Sorry to call you here out of the blue.”

I shook my head. “It’s okay.”

The manager was the one who had called me from Kura. Even though I’d known it was him right away, his voice over the phone sounded very similar to Holmes’s, so for a split second, I’d been shocked—and overjoyed. It made me realize just how much I’d been hoping for Holmes to contact me.

“I’m glad you seem to be doing well,” he said, smiling. Behind his glasses, there was a kind look in his eyes. His elegant, gentle aura and mannerisms really were similar to Holmes.

I’m glad you seem to be doing well. I couldn’t say anything in response to that, so I gave him a vague smile and looked down.

“Oh, I know you’re only putting on a brave face. What I meant was that I’m glad you’re still riding your bike and going to school. There’s somewhere I’d like to take you today,” he said, starting to walk. The way he moved quickly yet calmly once again resembled Holmes. “It’s this way. You might be surprised by how many people are there, though.”

When we exited through the gate, there were a startling number of people outside. Most of them were with their families. Many stalls lined the street, making for a lively atmosphere. I could see a large vermilion torii gate in the direction we were heading.

I didn’t know there was a shrine so close to Kyoto U. And this must be... “Is this a festival?”

“Yes, there’s a shrine over there called Yoshida Shrine. This is their busiest festival of the year, the Setsubun Festival.”

“Setsubun...” Right, it’s February. This is when Setsubun is held.

I stared absentmindedly at the torii gate.

“Let’s drive away your misfortune, Aoi.” The manager smiled at me.

Oh, right. Setsubun is a day for driving away misfortune and bringing in good luck. I looked at the manager’s gentle smile and teared up. “Okay. Thank you for inviting me.” I didn’t think I wanted anyone to say anything. I didn’t even want their consolation. But right now, I’m so happy that I could cry.

We joined the crowd and climbed the stairs to the main shrine building. It was definitely a mountaintop shrine.

“Let’s see... Yoshida Shrine guards Kyoto from the northeast, which is said to be an unlucky direction. It was built in the era of Heian-kyo, making it a very old and venerable shrine. Farther up, we have Daigengu, where all of the deities in the country are enshrined.”

“That’s incredible. You know a lot too, huh?”

“Not at all. I thought it’d be embarrassing if I couldn’t explain it as well as Kiyotaka, so I did some research beforehand. Even though I’m a Kyoto U alumnus, I’ve only come here a handful of times. I was actually surprised by how amazing this shrine was when I did my research. Oh, and I prepared a cheat sheet too,” he said, taking a notepad out of his pocket. “Apparently, this was built in the year 859 CE.”

“Oh, jeez.” I couldn’t help but laugh.

We entered the main grounds, and the first thing I noticed was a sign that said “Prize Display Area.”

What’s that?

I took a peek and saw everything from stuffed animals to a car on display. Nearby, something called Setsubun lucky beans were being sold, and people were lining up to buy them.

“Do those beans bring good luck?” I asked.

“Those are lottery tickets. See, you can win the prizes over there.”

“Wait, does that mean the car is a prize too?”

“Yes, it’s the top prize. The winning lottery numbers are published in the newspaper. They have a lot of different prizes, and it’s a lot of fun, so I encourage you to enter.”

“Okay!”

The lucky beans cost two hundred yen each, so I decided to buy five for the time being. But before I could pay, the manager swept in and did it for me.

“Th-Thank you.”

Once again, I was reminded of how similar Holmes and the manager were. Or perhaps it was more accurate to say that Holmes was greatly influenced by his father. If you add the owner’s taste to the manager’s gentleness and style, you get Holmes.

After leaving the bustling main shrine, we continued up the mountain to Daigengu. The uphill path created the same kind of sacred atmosphere that I remembered feeling at Mount Kurama. And since it was so festive, the sight of mask-wearing people climbing the mountain with us felt mystical, to the point where I wondered if any non-human beings had blended into the crowd to enjoy the event.

Daigengu Shrine was a hexagonal room behind the octagonal main shrine. Even though it was ancient, its shape made it feel novel and mysterious. Surrounding it were the shrines of all of the deities from across the country.

“People who know their stuff consider this an extremely lucky shrine,” said a nearby voice.

“Oh, I think I know what you mean,” said another.

I almost nodded in agreement. It was hard to explain in words, but this shrine was brimming with a special energy that made me feel just how incredible it was. I faced it and clapped my hands.

What should I pray for? I feel like I’ll cry if I ask for something seriously. What I wanted the most was to see Holmes again. Come to think of it, Holmes once said that you aren’t supposed to “ask” for anything at shrines. It’s better to make a statement as if your wish has already come true and give thanks. That way, the gods will hurry to grant it. It was a bit of a funny tip.

I was able to see Holmes again without any distress. Thank you very much.

It was kind of a depressing prayer, but my heart felt a bit lighter after saying it.

3

After leaving Yoshida Shrine, the manager took me to a cafe of his choosing near Kyoto University. I expected it to be an old-fashioned coffeehouse, but it was actually very trendy.

“I didn’t know you went to places like this, Manager.”

“Since you’re with me, I thought I’d choose a shop that girls would like,” he said gently.

We sat at a corner table by the window and ordered coffee. Bossa nova music was playing in the background. There weren’t many customers, and it was mostly couples.

I wonder how we look. I’m still wearing my school uniform, so maybe we look like father and daughter? If we seem suspicious, I’d feel terrible for him.

Despite my fears, all of the other customers were focused on the people they were with. No one paid any attention to us.

Before long, our coffee arrived.

“Thank you,” I murmured, sipping it without adding any milk or sugar.

“Oh, you can drink your coffee black now, right?”

“Yes. I started doing it last year. I had to force myself at first, but now I can enjoy the taste.”

Especially after breaking up with Holmes, I couldn’t bring myself to drink anything sweet. Café au lait and hot chocolate both brought forth nice memories. Bitter black coffee felt perfect for my broken heart.

Maybe I really am growing up. If this counts as a failed love, then it’s the second time. Thinking about it, I thought I was really heartbroken when my previous boyfriend broke up with me, but now I think I had it easier back then. All I had to do was hold a grudge and lament about my woes. I was the pitiful, tragic heroine, and that was enough.

Meanwhile, this failed love isn’t anyone’s fault. As much as I want to resent Ensho for causing it, I can’t bring myself to do that either. Deep in his eyes, past the jealousy bordering on hatred, I’d seen something resembling indescribable anguish. After witnessing that, I could no longer blame him. So, with no one to take out these feelings on, I simply suffer. If I were to blame anyone, it’d be myself for carelessly following Ensho. For some inexplicable reason, I couldn’t defy him.

How easy would it be if I could push all of my resentment onto someone else? Holmes must’ve wanted that for me. That’s why he tried so hard to make me hate him.

I took another sip of the coffee and sighed as I stared absentmindedly out the window.

“Aoi.”

“Y-Yes?” I hurriedly looked back at the manager.

“Could you tell me what happened between you and Kiyotaka?” he asked softly.

That was a bit of a surprise. He doesn’t know anything?

“What did Holmes say?” I asked.

“Nothing. All he said was, ‘Aoi won’t be coming to the store anymore.’”

“I see.”

“I wanted to ask him about it, but it didn’t seem like I could. His whole body gave off an aura that said, ‘Don’t ask.’”

I think I know what he means.

“Then he holed himself up in the Yagashira estate and started researching something like a man possessed. One day, he suddenly said, ‘I’m going to Hyogo, so watch the store for me,’ and left the house.”

“How did he seem at the time?”

“Hmm, he was worn out, but there was strength in his eyes. Maybe he was on to something.”

Something... Is there something in Hyogo? I thought for a minute. Oh right, Ensho said he was from Amagasaki. Did Holmes find out something about him?

“Did Kiyotaka distance himself from you because of the Yagashira family’s curse?”

I widened my eyes at the sudden question. “Huh? The...what?”

“Oh, my apologies. Did he distance himself from you without telling you why?”

I became increasingly confused. “Um...there’s a reason it turned out like this...” I still didn’t know what the manager was talking about, but I explained everything to him. I didn’t hesitate to tell him about what had occurred with Ensho. If anything, I felt like it was my duty to tell him.

He nodded after I finished. “So that’s what happened.”

“Um, what was that curse you were talking about?” I asked fearfully, unconsciously leaning forward.

“Do you know why my father got divorced, Aoi?”

I nodded, still confused. “Yes, the owner thought he’d become a god of pestilence and left his bedridden wife, right?”

“Yes. Do you know why he thought that?”

Why? He must be talking about that story.

“A shaman said so?” I answered hesitantly.

The manager lowered his eyes. “Yes. In the past, a curse was placed on my father.”

“A curse...” I could feel my expression turning grim at the ominous word.

“My father graduated from Kyoto U too,” the manager said, looking out the window at the main university building.

I nodded. That I knew. Holmes said he always wanted to go to Kyoto U because the owner and manager graduated from there.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit strange that a sharp-eyed tradesman like my father went there?”

“Now that you mention it, yes.” If his goal was to inherit his uncle’s antique store, then Kyoto University is a strange pick. Of course, I do think it’s an amazing achievement.

“While training to be an appraiser, he also worked hard at his studies. Thanks to his efforts, he was accepted by Kyoto U.”

“That’s...incredible.”

“Indeed. However, that was the strategy he used to be chosen as heir.”

“Strategy?”

“Yes. My father realized that his uncle—in other words, his master—had a very weak academic background. The other apprentices at the time were all extremely talented. They had the traits needed to be tradesmen, and they were all very close in appraisal skills. In order to be chosen out of the many apprentices, my father wanted to have the seal of a Kyoto University graduate as one of the tools in his arsenal. In those days, being a university graduate came with great prestige.”

I nodded silently.

“As my father had hoped, his master went around everywhere bragging that his nephew graduated from the imperial university. The brand power contributed to him being accepted as heir. Later on, my father married my mother—the daughter of a small eatery owner—who was said to be the most beautiful woman in Gion. My father was dazzling at the time, and everyone envied him.”

The owner obtained an academic record, his master’s trade, and a beautiful wife. I can see why everyone envied him.

“Even though my father was such a hard worker, he didn’t like letting people see how much effort he put in. He wanted everything to look like the result of natural-born talent.”

I think I can understand that too. It was a bluff to make himself look cooler. I can imagine him going, “I didn’t put in no effort!”

“Some people knew that he was working hard behind the scenes, but to others, he looked like a man who got everything without a lick of effort.”

I grimaced at that. In any era, there are always people who judge a book by its cover.

“On the night of his wedding, a famous fortune-teller attended the banquet and said to him, ‘Because you have defeated everything in your way and become arrogant, there are many vengeful spirits attached to you, born from grudges and jealousy. However, you are under your ancestors’ powerful protection, so no harm will befall you. The grudges do not disappear, though. Instead, they go to the women who marry into the Yagashira family.’ At the time, my father was furious and sent the man away, saying, ‘Don’t bring such talk to a wedding celebration!’ But the prophecy left a lasting impression on everyone who was there, including my father and mother.”

I gulped. “And then when his wife fell deathly ill, he believed that he was a god of pestilence?” He thought it’d be better to cut ties with her.

The manager nodded. “Yes, that’s why he divorced her.”

I was at a loss for words.

“But the story doesn’t end there,” he continued. “Decades later, my wife fell ill as well and passed away. At first, we thought it was just a cold, so we let down our guard. It turned out to be a vicious flu that was going around at the time.”

My heart began to pound with anxiety.

“Do you understand? This is the Yagashira family’s curse. Ever since you and Kiyotaka began your relationship, I’ve been worried that the more serious he became about you, the more he would become afraid of somehow losing you. Then, one day, he would distance himself from you...”

I silently waited for him to continue.

“Kiyotaka broke up with you because of that series of encounters with Ensho, but perhaps an ominous prophecy had appeared in his mind. Even if he didn’t believe it, when a man finds someone he truly loves, he becomes both stronger and weaker. He must’ve been very afraid of what might happen to you.” The manager smiled weakly and sipped his coffee.

The Kiyotaka family’s curse. I’m not the kind of person who believes in that stuff, and I doubt Holmes is either. But when people encounter these scenarios, they think, “What if?” In fact, right now, I feel chills running down my spine out of apprehension.

“Is this why you haven’t remarried?” I asked. The manager had been single ever since his wife had passed away. Maybe he didn’t want a loved one to fall victim to the Yagashira family’s curse again.

At the very least, the owner thinks that way. He loves Yoshie and wants to protect her. Does the manager feel that way about marriage too?

“No,” he said, shaking his head.

“Huh?”

“You’ve got it wrong, Aoi. I want you to listen carefully to what I’m about to say and keep it in mind. The Yagashira family’s real curse is not grudges. It’s words uttered by a shaman.”

“Words rather than grudges?” What does that mean? I tilted my head.

“Yes. My parents both claimed to deny the shaman’s words, but on the inside, they ended up fully believing in them. When my mother was bedridden, she thought, ‘I’ve taken on his grudges after all. My time has come.’ After my father divorced her, she was shocked, but she also thought, ‘Now I can be saved.’ Do you know what that means?” There was a sharp glint in his eyes.

“Is it like...autosuggestion?”

“Exactly. According to the shaman, the Yagashira family is surrounded by grudges, but those with the Yagashira blood are under powerful protection and can repel them. As a result, harm will befall their beloved spouses. That kind of thought lingers in your mind. It sinks deeper than you expect until it subconsciously controls your mind and body. When my wife was on her deathbed, she said, ‘I’ll take on the Yagashira family’s curse in its entirety. I won’t let it reach Kiyotaka.’ I was astonished. Even my wife had been affected by the curse of words. She lost to the illness because she wanted to. I was a fool for not realizing earlier. If I’d said from the beginning, ‘That shaman was a fraud,’ things might’ve turned out differently.” A bitter expression came over his face.

“Huh? He was a fraud?”

“That I don’t know. But I believe he was.”

“Why?”

“Shortly after the divorce, my mother recovered from her illness. The following year, she remarried. Her new husband was a wealthy man who ran a real estate business, and apparently, he’d secretly been in love with her for a long time.”

“Oh, I’ve met him before.”

“Ah, right. Some time later, I did some independent research and found that that man was close friends with the shaman, though not publicly.”

“H-Huh?” She married a man who was close friends with the shaman?

“Now, I don’t think he hired a shaman to harass my parents at their wedding party. He isn’t that kind of person. I think the shaman did it on impulse. The shaman saw his friend’s hidden feelings appear on his face at the beautiful sight of my mother in her white kimono. And then he saw the smug face of my father, who he couldn’t tolerate either. It’s possible that those two things, along with the alcohol, made him want to find something to condemn my father with. There’s no way to confirm whether or not he was a fraud, but either way, he said it on the spur of the moment. And those words became the curse of the Yagashira family. This is called kotodama—spiritual power that dwells in words.”

A curse that dwells in words... I was too stunned to speak.

“I used to work for a publisher, and now I’m an author. Since my work involves manipulating words, I understand the power and terror that they possess.”

“The power and terror that words possess...”

“For example, let’s say I tell you, ‘Aoi, you are a wonderful girl with a kind heart.’ You’d be embarrassed, but you’d try to live up to those words, right? And if a parent tells their child, ‘You can’t do anything right,’ that child really will stop being able to do things right. Both of these phrases are ‘curses’ that bind and manipulate the recipient, for better or worse. The curse that was unleashed on the Yagashira family was even stronger than that. It invaded the depths of my father’s, mother’s, and wife’s hearts and consumed them.”

I felt chills run down my spine. “Were you not bothered by the shaman’s words?”

“Not in the slightest,” he declared.

“Th-That’s amazing.” It was also unexpected. The manager had struck me as a more sensitive person. Even I’d been a bit disturbed by the story, and I didn’t really believe in that stuff.

“In my case, it’s because I can understand how envy would lead the shaman to do that. Maybe he had feelings for my mother as well. He was jealous of my father—frustratingly so—and there was nothing he could do about it. I imagine he wanted to rain on my father’s parade for a quick sense of relief, not realizing what a curse those words would become. I’m not as clever as Kiyotaka, so I’ve lived my life surrounded by talented people. I know what it’s like to suffer from envy.” He smiled self-deprecatingly.

I didn’t know what to say, so I could only make an awkward face.

“I regret not telling Kiyotaka this earlier. I should’ve, but I thought he was like me and wouldn’t let this kind of thing control him. And you were still a young couple, so I thought it was too early.” He gave me a weak smile.

The shaman said that harm would befall the women who marry into the Yagashira family, so it’s only natural that the manager felt it was too early.

“I understand,” I said with a small nod.

I don’t know if Holmes really was bothered by those words. But I’m sure they did cross his mind at the time, and I think it was one of the factors that hastened his decision. Words can be terrifying.

“I did tell Kiyotaka one thing, though. ‘It’s not grudges that are scary; it’s people. For better or worse, words are curses, so you have to discern the truth from them.’”

“What did Holmes say to that?”

“After a few moments of silence, he bowed and said, ‘Thank you.’ That boy is perceptive. If you tell him one thing, he’ll infer ten other things—or even more. I hope my words were the hint he needed. Come to think of it, that was when he started holing himself up in the Kiyotaka estate, researching,” he murmured, sipping his coffee.

“Manager...” My nose twitched, and my eyes started to tear up.

“I apologize for my son’s rudeness. He did such a tactless thing to the person he loves because it was the only thing he felt he could do. You know, Aoi, I was very sad that I could no longer see you,” he said gently.

I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore, and they spilled forth. “Thank...you.”

If words are curses, then these words are a warm, gentle, soft, and radiant spell. Spells can bind people, but they can also save them.

I put my hand over my mouth and cried.

Even if I can never go to Kura to see Holmes or the manager again, I’m sure I’ll be grateful for these words for the rest of my life.