Short Story: Checking Answers

When Kiyotaka was nearing the end of his term at Kotani Brewery, the sake store received an unexpected visitor.

“Yagashira, an acquaintance of yours is here to see you,” said Mizuki, peeking inside the brewery.

Kiyotaka looked up from what he was doing. “An acquaintance?” For a second, he wondered if it was Aoi, but his hopes were dashed when he realized that Mizuki would’ve excitedly said, “Your girlfriend’s here!” if that were the case. Aoi had visited with his father before, so she would’ve been recognized.

“He looks kind of like a monk.”

“Oh.” Kiyotaka shrugged. Ensho, no doubt. Why on earth is he here? Thinking about the man made his forehead twitch. He straightened his back and went to the sake store.

“Hello, Mr. Holmes. Those work clothes and apron look good on you,” Ensho greeted him with a smile. As usual, his head was shaven and he was wearing a kimono. He was holding a paper bag with the Kotani Brewery logo on it. Presumably, he had just bought a bottle of sake.

“Thank you for the purchase,” Kiyotaka said reluctantly.

“Yanagihara heard you were training here and got a craving for this place’s sake since he hadn’t had it in a while. Figured I’d see your face while I was here.”

Mizuki came in and announced cheerfully, “Yagashira, Kota says you can start your break now. Since your friend’s here, go and take a walk with him.”

“Thanks, missy. Let’s go for a walk, my dear friend.” Ensho grinned.

Kiyotaka narrowed his eyes coldly but followed him outside the store. Since he came all this way, there has to be something he wants to talk about.

They walked leisurely through the town of sake breweries, soaking in the warm sunshine. As they approached the bridge overlooking the Hori River, Ensho murmured, “Oh, there’s a boat.”

“It’s the Jikkokubune boat cruise. It’s not running right now, but it’s nice during cherry blossom season.”

“I bet. This is a scenic place.”

“Yes, the cherry blossoms here are lovely. The yellow ones, kizakura, are also nice.”

“Kizakura? That’s the name of a sake company, right?”

“The name comes from the president’s fondness for yellow cherry blossoms.”

“Are they really yellow?”

“Yes, although they have a white tinge to them. They’re more formally known as ‘ukon-zakura.’”

“Oh yeah?”

Kiyotaka suddenly felt the desire to see a painting of yellow cherry blossoms by Ensho, but he didn’t say it out loud.

They kept walking until they came across the Teradaya Inn, which was known for being the place where the shogunate attacked Ryoma Sakamoto during the Bakumatsu period.

“Teradaya, huh? Feels strange to think that such a historical event happened here,” Ensho said with a passionate sigh.

“Indeed, but it’s not just here. Kyoto is full of places like that.”

“Way to kill the mood.”

“I didn’t mean it that way. This is a wonderful place where lots of drama occurred, but it’s not the only one. Kyoto is steeped in history.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“More importantly, when are you going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“What did you need me for?” Kiyotaka crossed his arms and stared at Ensho.

“It’s nothing big. I just wanted to check if I had something right.”

“What?”

“The other day, I met your girlfriend.”

“Aoi?”

“Yeah, Aoi. At first I thought she was an immature little brat. I couldn’t understand why you’d chosen her. But each time I met her, she made me think, ‘Oh, so that’s why.’ She’s a pretty good woman, eh? You really are a connoisseur.”

Kiyotaka frowned in silence at Ensho’s attempt to poke fun at him.

“So I wondered why you wouldn’t lay a hand on her. At first I thought you were a coward when it came to women, but that ain’t it. I mean, you probably are a bit of one, but the root reason is something else. You’re scared of yourself, aren’t you?”

Kiyotaka narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

“I heard that even though you like antiques, you don’t have your own collection. That true?”

“Yes, it is.”

In the past, Aoi had once asked him if he wanted an antique for himself. It was shortly after she had begun working at Kura. He had shown her a piece of Yuan blue and white pottery and said that a similar piece had gone for 3.2 billion yen at an overseas auction.

“Holmes, if you were rich, would you want this vase badly enough to pay a large sum for it?”

He shook his head. “No.”

She looked at him in surprise. “Oh, really? But you love antiques, right?”

“Yes, I do. However, I don’t have the desire to own them. I’m happy being able to see such wonderful pieces, and I want to see as many as I can during my life. To that end, I’m willing to go anywhere in the world. But I don’t want to own them. I’m satisfied as long as I can look at them like this and store them in my heart and memory.”

That had been his answer. And I still feel that way, he thought, placing a hand on his chest.

“You lose interest the moment you get something, right? That’s why you’re scared that if you get her, you’ll fall out of love.”

Kiyotaka froze.

“You’re interested in a woman for once, and being infatuated with her makes you happy because it’s like you’re a normal person—but you’re paranoid that your feelings will fade once you sleep with her. So you can’t trust yourself. You’re scared that it’ll only be fun until the clothes come off; that after it’s done, you’ll wake up from the illusion of love and go, ‘What, that was it?’ Why don’t you just admit it already? You ain’t the kind of guy who falls in love in the first place. The proof is that you’re purposely drawing out the fantasy right now, trying to get as much enjoyment as you can before making her yours.”

“Shut up, will you?” Kiyotaka grabbed Ensho by the collar.

“See, I knew it. For someone who’s so good at seeing through people, you sure hate being the one seen through. Well, I’ve got my answer. I feel refreshed now.” Ensho grinned.

Kiyotaka clicked his tongue and let go of the man. “The concept of losing one’s fixation upon obtaining something only applies to material things,” he said, turning away.

It doesn’t apply to the woman I fell in love with, he thought.

However, Aoi was the first woman he’d ever truly fallen in love with, so he honestly didn’t know. Like Ensho said, he was using cowardice as an excuse, when in truth, he was afraid he couldn’t trust himself. But one thing was sure: the reason he was so conflicted was because he didn’t want to lose her.

“Oh, there’s one more thing I wanted to ask.”

“What is it?” Kiyotaka warily looked back at him.

“Don’t look at me like that. Why did you choose this brewery? Didn’t you have a lot of offers from other companies?”

Kiyotaka shifted his gaze to the bottle Ensho was holding. “My goal was what’s in your hand.”

“Sake?”

“Yes. I’ve always been a fan of Kotani’s sake, and with one month of training, I could make my own. I thought it would be nice to celebrate my girlfriend’s twentieth birthday with sake that I made myself,” he explained with a smile.

Ensho shrugged with a groan. “Well, hurry up and ‘obtain’ her so that you can get bored of her. Then I’ll be able to consider it.”

“Consider what?” Kiyotaka immediately glared at him.

“Yeesh, that’s a scary face. It was only a joke. I’m taking my leave. Thanks. Goodbye.” Ensho waved his hand nonchalantly and walked away.

“I really can’t stand that man,” Kiyotaka said with a light click of his tongue. He mercilessly hones in on the things that I don’t want to acknowledge.

He placed his hand on his forehead, sighed, and looked up at the afternoon sky. January was ending, and spring was still far away.