Chapter Eleven

A Visit From the Obnoxious Couple

It was an afternoon no different from any other, and Asahi had just polished off yesterday’s leftovers for lunch. He decided to take advantage of his ample free time and began vacuuming his room. After that, he finished up by spraying an air freshener around the apartment. At last, everything in the room looked to be in order. The intercom rang—a sound he had grown quite familiar with thanks to the events of the past few weeks—signaling the arrival of his expected guests.

Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong!

For any normal person, one ring would have sufficed. Unfortunately, his mischievous guests didn’t seem to have gotten that memo as they incessantly wore out the button.

What am I gonna do with those two... he grumbled to himself. Their mere arrival beckoned a torrent of disgruntled sighs from Asahi. He felt that, at this rate, he was well on his way to breaking the world record for the amount of sighs heaved in a single day.

Although his friends had only come to have some fun and hang out, Asahi could only tremble at the potential shenanigans the couple had planned for the day. Who knows what they had up their sleeves. After they had managed to buzz the intercom a few dozen times in quick succession, Asahi was finally able to open the door.

“Where’s the food AT?” Hinami cried enthusiastically as she entered.

“You just sit down and make yourself at home, Hina,” Chiaki told her.

“That’s my line, you know,” Asahi protested. Perhaps it was due his own shortcomings that he had expected a typical greeting from these two. As instructed, Hinami immediately made her way into the living room, while Chiaki and Asahi stayed at the entrance.

“My Chii-pie’s told me all about your place before! He said your apartment was massive and totally spotless and all, but damn—I didn’t expect anything like this. Whoa, these lights are sick! Oh my god, look at this sofa! Isn’t this the one that’s super popular and, like, insanely fluffy?!” she exclaimed with her trademark enthusiastic tone. What was different was that she was a great deal more vivacious than usual—concerningly so, in Asahi’s eyes. He turned to Chiaki, the person who knew her best, and gave him a skeptical look.

“My Hina’s been dying to drop by for ages now. It’s no wonder she’s bouncing off the walls like that,” Chiaki explained.

“I guess that makes sense. Just make sure she doesn’t make a racket; I really don’t feel like getting any noise complaints,” Asahi grumbled.

“You got it, pal. I’ll keep her in check if push comes to shove.”

“Thanks. Highly doubt I could handle her on my own, to be honest,” Asahi said in a tired voice. He was anxious that Hinami’s loud voice and exuberance would only aggravate Fuyuka further. She was already very displeased after yesterday’s teasing, so he was hoping to avoid adding more fuel to that fire. “So yeah... make sure she doesn’t get too out of hand, okay?” he added.

“Yeah man, I got it the first time. No need to keep nagging me about it,” Chiaki said with a smirk.

“I don’t like the look in your eyes one bit.”

“Nah, man, it’s nothing. I was just thinking that you’re awfully considerate of your neighbors. Wonder if there’s someone you’re particularly interested in living right next to you...”

“You’d break a record at the Olympics for that leap in logic. Where did that even come from?” Asahi asked.

“Oof! It’s just a joke, dude—no need for the serial-killer look. I was just curious. You’ve never really cared about your neighbors to this extent before,” Chiaki quickly backtracked.

“Not wanting to disturb your neighbors sounds like common sense to me.”

“Verily, you speak the unblemished truth. I implore you to forgive this worthless cretin,” Chiaki apologized in a pitiful voice and a manner befitting a long-gone era. Still, his theory had hit the “veritable” bull’s eye, so much so, in fact, that Asahi had to make a conscious effort to maintain a straight face. He wished that Chiaki would harness his sharp deduction skills and intuition in more fruitful areas—like academics, for example—but that may have been too much to ask considering his personality.

“Don’t read into it so much. Sorry to rain on your parade, but there’s nobody like that in my life,” Asahi declared in a solemn tone, raising both his hands in protest. Chiaki was quick to apologize. It was one of his very few redeeming qualities: he would retreat once he noticed the other person was feeling uncomfortable.

Asahi couldn’t possibly tell them that Fuyuka was his next-door neighbor, let alone that the two of them had daily dinner and lessons at his place. It would be a disaster if the two were to find out. Asahi couldn’t help but recoil at the thought of them persistently pestering him about it and sticking their noses where they didn’t belong, regardless of how he felt about it.

The only way to prevent the worst case scenario was by pretending he was irritated each time the particular topic came up. Unbeknownst to his friend, he felt a cold bead of sweat trickle down his spine. He heard a set of boisterous footsteps approaching from behind him, and he started to sweat profusely.

“What’re you guys talking about? Did Asahi finally nab himself a girlfriend?” Hinami asked, eyes filled with curiosity. She had returned to them after fully admiring every nook and cranny of the living room. In return, Asahi responded with a sigh—his third one that day.

*

“Asahi, I’m bored!” Hinami exclaimed.

“Can’t really do anything about that. I told you there wasn’t much to do here,” Asahi retorted.

“Booo! I guess you’re right, though—there’s, like, nothing cool here.”

“I know, right? There’s nothing fun to do at Asahi’s place,” Chiaki interjected.

“Cool that you guys are on the same page, but it’s pretty rude to point that out when you don’t even own the place,” Asahi admonished.

It seemed that his advice had fallen on deaf ears. Hinami continued to voice her complaints for a while. Eventually, she grew tired of that, as well. She placed the game controller down, stood up, took a few shaky steps, then plopped herself down on Chiaki’s lap.

“Hey, I thought I told you no flirting while you’re over,” Asahi nagged the couple again.

“She’s just using me as a humanoid sofa. It’s the newest fad. Get with the program, Asahi,” Chiaki explained.

“Yeah! And guess what? It can move on its own, so you can take it anywhere you want!” Hinami added.

“It’s got a ton of other features, too—like wrapping itself around the person sitting down to warm them up!” the humanoid sofa continued. It seemed that this cutting-edge model⁠, previously known as Chiaki⁠, had some sort of coaxing functionality installed into it, as well. It was searching for any sort of excuse to get physical with Hinami.

If this isn’t straight up flirting, I don’t know what is, Asahi grumbled to himself. He let out his 10th sigh of the day—a lauded accomplishment—before turning to look at the clock on the wall. “Prime time to go out and buy some ingredients for dinner,” he announced.

“Totally! Buena idea, Asahi!” Hinami shouted with unbridled vigor.

“Hell yeah, the night’s main event is about to kick off!” Chiaki followed.

Asahi couldn’t help but feel a tinge of pride and happiness as the couple, who had just been lazing about, became so fired up at the mention of food. As he headed to the entrance of his apartment, Chiaki called out, “Yo, can you make us some Hamburg steaks? Thanks in advance.”

“Yeah! Oh, and don’t forget that I like mine with cheese on top, okay? We’ll be waiting for you!” Hinami chirped.

“The streets can get pretty dangerous at night, my dude, so be careful out there!” Chiaki added.

“Nice try, but you’re coming with me. Off the sofa. Now,” Asahi demanded.

“H-Hey, no need to be so violent, I get it! I was just joking! No need for that scary look either... I’m gonna have nightmares tonight...”

Asahi had his doubts about whether his friend was truly playing around or not, but he wasn’t about to take his chances. He was reluctant to leave the couple alone for a number of reasons aside from the most obvious one. He’d already ensured that all of Fuyuka’s belongings—the dishes and cups she brought over that she would use for dinner—were concealed deep within the recesses of his cupboard, and he’d also made sure he returned all of the textbooks with her name on them beforehand. In addition to those, he’d also hidden the brooch inside the dresser in his bedroom yesterday; no doubt the duo would raise hell if they came upon it.

Everything had been thoroughly attended to, as he’d taken all scenarios into consideration. Still, the notion of leaving them unsupervised spurred a lingering feeling of anxiety in Asahi that was impossible to shake off.

“Come on, guys, let’s go,” Asahi urged them.

“Okaaay! We’re right behind you!”

Asahi looked behind him to ensure the obnoxious couple were actually preparing to accompany him. When he opened the door, a certain somebody was standing right in front of him.

“Ah...”

“H-Huh...”

Two voices—one charming, one dumbfounded—echoed throughout the foyer. What had prompted Asahi’s cry of surprise was the unexpected appearance of those all too familiar lush raven locks. It was Fuyuka, a shopping bag dangling from one hand, currently making her way across the corridor of the apartment complex. In a split-second judgment, Asahi was about to slam the door shut; unfortunately, he had not been quick enough. Chiaki and Hinami were right behind him, wide-eyed and slack-jawed.

Silence permeated in the room for a brief moment before disarrayed mutters of disbelief started to flit about. The three of them struggled to process the situation at hand.

“... That was Himuro, right...?”

“... I think so, yeah...”

Chiaki and Hinami stared at each other with befuddled expressions. They took a few slow, stupefied blinks before they finally comprehended what was happening.

“Yo, Asahi? Wanna tell your good ol’ buddy what exactly Himuro is doing by your apartment?” Chiaki asked with his usual irritating smirk.

“Oh, Mr. Asahi? Care to explain what’s going on between you and Himuro?” Hinami swiftly followed up with a question of her own. Her grin was nearly record breaking—it was easily the widest one she’d worn all day.

Asahi tried to retaliate by giving them the cold shoulder. Unfortunately, his complete silence had little to no effect against their tenacity. The barrage of questions continued for some time. A fair few were egregiously misdirected, but others were dangerously close to the mark—so much so that retaining his composure proved to be a difficult task.

Asahi had to accept the fact that the couple now knew he and Fuyuka were neighbors. Instead, he opted it would be in his best interest to focus on stopping the romance-obsessed duo’s nosy inquiries. He knew he needed to act quickly, as they were already spinning wild tales and delusions about the nature of their relationship.

If they find out about everything that’s happened between us and how we meet each other every evening, I’ll never hear the end of it. They’ll blabber about how we’re “destined” to be lovers... God, this is why I was hoping to keep it a secret from them in the first place, Asahi complained internally.

His eyes wandered to the transparent plastic bag Fuyuka was holding. He could make out the diverse array of colors indicative of fresh vegetables; a welcome change to all the convenience food that had previously been a staple for her. He was glad that she took his advice from yesterday to heart. Surely, this meant that she was making a serious effort toward learning how to cook for herself. Unfortunately, the time and place didn’t allow him for much celebration. Asahi had only had the best of intentions when he’d meddled into her business, but he’d never expected it to come back and haunt him to such a degree.

Yet another sigh escaped him.

In an ideal scenario, Fuyuka would go back to her apartment without so much as batting an eye, as was expected of “The Ice Queen.” Asahi figured that would be the fastest way to debunk Chiaki and Hinami’s absurd fantasies. However, it looked as though Fuyuka was rooted to the spot. It wasn’t like her to misconceive the intricacies of the situation and fail to act accordingly—not with her superior intellect. However, she’d faltered when he first opened the door. It was entirely understandable, given how the whole thing had taken her by surprise.

Unfortunately for Asahi and Fuyuka, her temporary paralysis had provided the perfect opportunity for Hinami—with her romance-riddled brain—to thoroughly interrogate Fuyuka. “Hey, hey! What’s the relationship between you two?” she demanded.

“Huh?” Asahi blurted out after a stupified pause.

A chilly gust of wind blew as a bright voice, which contrasted heavily with the gravity of the situation, echoed across the dark hallway. Fuyuka stayed silent. Her eyes shot about briefly before she hung her head slightly and looked down.

“Drop it, Hinami. Can’t you see that you’re making her uncomfortable?” Asahi quickly jumped in.

“Whaaa? Then why don’t you answer the question, Asahi?”

Hinami’s question was simple—deceptively so. It took Asahi a few moments to conjure up a reply as he battled with a strange uneasiness that was slowly consuming his heart. “She just happens to live next to me,” he finally answered.

“It’s gotta be fate, I’m telling ya! You two start out as friends, but as you get to know each other more, your relationship grows into—” Hinami was just beginning to go off on a tangent before Asahi quickly cut her off.

“She’s just another neighbor. Nothing more, nothing less,” he declared. It was the bare truth. He wasn’t sure if it was the correct answer, but the only way to quell Hinami’s excitement was by giving her a boring answer.

“What about you, Himuro? Got any... comments... on the... matter? Huh?” Hinami’s voice slowly trailed off as a loud slam next door served as an answer. Fuyuka had finally analyzed the situation with clarity and shifted back to her usual “Ice Queen” demeanor. The cold aura that surrounded her, accentuated by the unforgiving chill of winter, was something that Asahi hadn’t experienced in ages.

“Gah! See what you did, Asahi?! She went back to her room because you felt the need to interrupt me...” Hinami complained. “There was so much I wanted to talk about, too...”

“Really now? Wow, sorry to ruin your engaging conversation. From where I’m standing, she wasn’t exactly talking up a storm like you were,” Asahi retorted.

“Th-That’s true, BUT! She was just about to say something before you came in and ruined it! You better prepare yourself, ‘cause you’re in for some intense Q and A!”

“God, why always me...?” Asahi grumbled.

The worst possible outcome had occurred. Not only was Asahi forced to find a way to fend off Hinami’s excessive curiosity, but he was also particularly unsettled by Chiaki’s passivity. His friend had been simply standing behind him with his typical annoying grin the entire time.

Their schedule was packed for the day—they were going to shop for ingredients, prepare dinner, eat it, and then hang out. That meant Asahi was burdened with a full day of attempting to avoid the obnoxious couple’s prying questions until they eventually left. His mood was not the best, to say the least.

*

“Is it just me, or was Himuro a little different today?” Hinami asked.

“I get what you’re saying. I feel like she’s a little bit more approachable or something,” Chiaki responded.

“Same! Like, obviously she’s still as distant as ever... but it’s not the same as before.”

The three of them sat around the small dining table and enjoyed some freshly-made Hamburg steak with cheese. It wasn’t exactly pleasant for Asahi, however, as a certain name kept cropping up in their conversation. Chiaki and Hinami had continued to pester Asahi about his neighbor all the way from grocery shopping to their meal. And while the topic would briefly shift to praising the food he’d put so much effort into making, it would soon come back around to Fuyuka. It did little to relieve his headache, and he’d lost track of how many times he’d sighed by that point.

“I walked up to her during our basketball match and told her she was crazy skilled for nailing that buzzer beater. She was really sweet and told me that I played well too, but GET THIS!” Hinami exclaimed, her voice reaching a fever pitch by the end. “I swear she was actually smiling when she said that. Can you believe it?!”

“Wow, that’s some juicy information right there. I’ve never heard anyone mention seeing her smile,” Chiaki marveled.

“There’s been a new rumor flying around that “The Ice Queen” has finally started to mellow out a bit, and I think we know why now.”

“Captain Hinami, are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Haha! As observant as ever, Private Chiaki. The truth is that... it’s all thanks to the romantic relationship between her and Asahi!” she proclaimed, pointing her finger at Asahi as if imitating some kind of detective. Her eyes were twinkling with an innocence akin to that of a child that had just received a new toy. Regrettably, the toy in this case just so happened to be Asahi. He didn’t find her act adorable in the slightest.

“You said it yourself, Detective—it’s a baseless rumor with no conclusive evidence to back it up. I know it makes for great teasing material for you two, but you’re going to cause serious problems for Himuro if you keep it up,” Asahi warned.

“Y-Yikes... the look on your face is pretty scary...” Hinami sputtered timidly.

“Then focus on eating your food before it gets cold instead of spouting nonsense. I put a lot of effort into making it, you know.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true. Gotta enjoy this absolute masterpiece while it’s still hot,” she agreed.

“Good girl. Here, you can have some of mine as a reward.”

“Whoa, really?! As expected from a Chad in disguise!”

Asahi had trouble understanding the obscure lingo she’d just uttered, but decided not to address it for the time being. He was content with the fact that he’d managed to stop Hinami from pursuing the matter any further.

Chiaki, however, chose to stoke the flames even further. “If we’re talking evidence, then I might just have some,” he boldly claimed.

“WHA—?! For real?!” Hinami blurted out.

“What are you even on about?” Asahi asked. He had given his friend a doubtful look, but in truth, Chiaki’s proclamation had made his heart stop briefly.

Chiaki carried on with his explanation, now full of confidence. “Think about it logically: we’ve got the ultra distant and cold Himuro on one hand, and the warm and friendly Kagami on the other. They’re polar opposites... and you know what they say about those, don’t you? That’s right, opposites attract.”

“Does this mean...?” Hinami asked.

“Yes, Hina. I think so, too.”

“You guys are delusional. It’s all in your head,” Asahi voiced his objection.

The rumors Hinami had brought up had already reached his ears as well, although they never went beyond how Fuyuka had grown more talkative or more emotive. As inconsequential as they seemed, they were changes in her character that nobody had ever imagined occurring in their lifetime. The combination of this gossip, in addition to her being awarded the MVP at the sports festival, had only helped her popularity among the students skyrocket. Naturally, Asahi wasn’t exactly in a rush to shamelessly claim that her sudden change of heart was all thanks to him.

“There was also one more thing I’d like to point out... though, ultimately, it’s just my own opinion,” Chiaki continued, wearing a daring smile that challenged Asahi’s constant denial. “Himuro seemed really bummed out when you said you were just neighbors.”

“Yeah... now that you mention it, she did look kinda down when she walked back to her apartment,” Hinami added.

“Right? That’s why I think there’s more to it than what Asahi’s letting on... But hey, I’m not gonna do you dirty and force it out of you if you’re not cool with talking about it. That ain’t my style,” he assured, abiding by his personal code of knowing when to drop the subject. Hinami took a page out of his book and nodded in agreement, clearly trying her best to suppress her unrelenting inquisitiveness.

The couple were true to their word, as neither of them spoke of Himuro through the rest of the meal. They even offered to do the dishes as a token of gratitude for Asahi’s efforts. He decided to accept their kind offer, so he went to relax on the sofa.

A lot had happened that day, and he was completely exhausted as a result. He felt as though his drowsiness would overtake him any second if he wasn’t vigilant.

“Himuro seemed really bummed out when you said you were just neighbors.”

Asahi pondered the meaning of those words which continuously swirled around in his hazy consciousness. He’d had no choice but to tell them that they were just neighbors. He’d assumed that Fuyuka would be on the same page, that she wasn’t the type that would take it to heart. But no matter how hard he contemplated why Fuyuka would be dejected, the answer would continue to elude him.

What is my relationship with Himuro? Asahi reflected. They had built up a routine of having dinner together and helping each other with school work. “Just another neighbor”—his words—were no longer sufficient to properly encapsulate their relationship. Still, Asahi couldn’t think of a better way to define them.

I wonder what she thinks of me, Asahi pondered to himself. His eyes were growing heavy. As they slowly closed, Fuyuka’s crestfallen expression dominated his thoughts.

*

“You’re both dead meat,” Asahi declared.

“Whoa! Easy there, chief! It’s not permanent marker, so it’ll wash off easily!” Chiaki hastily assured him.

“Do you realize how hard it was not to laugh and ruin the surprise?! It’s partly your fault for not noticing until now! Pfft!” Hinami chuckled.

In the end, it seemed that thinking about a solution for his baffling problem had sapped Asahi’s remaining energy. He’d nodded off for some time and woken up to a pair of disconcerting smirks on his friend’s faces. At first, he’d paid them no heed, and they had continued to hang out and play video games. Finally, just when it was about time for Chiaki and Hinami to return home, they told them about the prank between peals of hysterical laughter—they’d drawn a mustache on his face while he had been asleep.

“See you later, Asahi! Thanks for having us. It was a blast!” Hinami exclaimed.

“Yeah, dude! That Hamburg steak was freakin’ tasty!” Chiaki added.

Although Asahi had been at the couple’s mercy for the majority of the day, it hadn’t sparked any hard feelings. He’d had fun today, and that was all that mattered. With this newfound realization, Asahi expressed his gratitude by gently patting each of them on the head as he showed them out of his apartment.