Chapter 343: You’re Willing, but I’m Not

Confession… a promise…

These words flashed through her mind one by one, causing Lin Xinyuan’s chest to tighten immediately.

At the same moment, an indescribable pain slowly spread through her heart, her gaze jumping wildly: “Ugh…”

She couldn’t help but clutch her head, endless anguish threatening to drag her completely into the abyss.

A self-destructive urge surged within her—a desire to tear out her own heart and slice it apart piece by piece.

“I…”

Suddenly, Lin Xinyuan raised her head, looking at the man beside her in panic, stumbling backward in fright before turning to flee.

“Ah Yuan? What’s wrong?”

Li Tang, who had just shifted her gaze away from Yu Xiaowei and Chen Ze’s horseplay, turned her head only to see Lin Xinyuan hurrying away, and couldn’t help but call out in confusion.

“Nothing… I… I’m going to grab something…”

Lin Xinyuan replied in a weak voice, feeling like she couldn’t catch her breath, quickening her pace.

“Huh?” Li Tang was puzzled, sensing something off about her.

Watching Lin Xinyuan’s staggering figure, she looked like she wasn’t feeling well.

She was just about to chase after her when she saw Qin Nanfeng glance at her, give a slight nod, and turn to follow instead.

Watching the two figures, she opened her mouth but ultimately didn’t follow. Yet the confusion in her heart only grew.

Ah Yuan…

Those two… something must have happened between them…

“Hey, where are Boss Qin and the others going?”

At that moment, the others also noticed the two leaving, and Chen Ze asked in confusion.

“They said they’re going back to grab something. Should be back soon, right?”

That was all Li Tang could offer as an explanation, though deep down she kept her speculations to herself.

After all, no matter what, if her close friend wasn’t willing to speak up, it must be something important—or even terrible.

This kind of thing couldn’t be rashly assumed. She’d have to wait and see…

“Oh, I see…”

The carefree Chen Ze said as much, and while the other two men sensed something was off, they didn’t think too deeply about it either.

But the three women who knew Lin Xinyuan better felt completely different. They exchanged glances, each lost in thought…

Meanwhile, the woman didn’t head back to the tent area. Instead, she wanted to find a quiet place, to be alone.

Lin Xinyuan clutched her chest, the pain nearly making it impossible to walk.

But thinking of how she couldn’t let friends or strangers see her like this, she endured as best she could.

It wasn’t until she unknowingly wandered into a deserted part of the woods that she fumbled in the dark and found a fairly large rock.

Only then, unable to bear the pain any longer, did she crouch down, letting out pitiful sobs.

Endless cold flooded her entire body, but her heart burned as if scorched by raging fire, aching to the core.

All she could do was hug her knees, sitting on the rock, trembling endlessly, as if that might somehow ease the suffering.

Why…

Why did he bring her to this place…

Why here of all places… Why can’t I just die already…

Relentless questions, like the whispers of demons, shrouded her already fragile heart.

Darkness kept spreading, slamming against her spirit again and again until it was nearly shattered.

But just then, a familiar set of footsteps gradually appeared, slowly approaching her, making her whole body jolt.

Lin Xinyuan raised her face in sheer terror, trembling like a leaf.

“Don’t come closer… don’t…”

She covered her ears, muttering endlessly in the woods.

Her usual soft, sweet voice now sounded almost deranged.

But even as she said that, the tall figure’s steps showed no sign of stopping.

Seeing him drawing nearer, Lin Xinyuan wanted to get up and run away again.

But she realized her body, wracked with excessive pain, couldn’t muster the strength in her legs to stand, let alone flee.

Truthfully, she didn’t want this either.

But that emotion kept influencing her mind, making it nearly impossible to control her urge to get away from him.

“Don’t… don’t… get away…”

She muttered neurotically, her expression twisting in struggle, curling up tightly with no sense of safety at all.

This was the first full flare-up of “her” since she had fully recovered her memories.

Just barely suppressing those maddening thoughts had already drained all her mental strength, and her spirit was utterly exhausted…

At that moment, Qin Nanfeng finally walked over.

Amid his wife’s struggling, pained expression, he sat down beside her, ignoring her words.

He looked at his usually obedient and gentle girl with a pained heart, now twisted in such agony—it cut him like a knife.

Qin Nanfeng didn’t want to be this cruel either.

Bringing her to this place, evoking that memory so crucial to both of them, was also the moment “they” got together and “he” made the marriage promise.

The most beautiful memory of the previous life was, for the girl now, nothing less than a lethal poison…

Perhaps maintaining the status quo could hold things together for a while.

But he couldn’t, because that was ultimately just treating the symptoms, not the cause.

To completely shake off “her,” he had to regularly provoke his wife’s emotions—even to this extent, so deep and heavy now…

Though it was dangerous, it was necessary…

Otherwise, one day, that stubborn thread would entangle her, driving her mind to complete collapse.

For Qin Nanfeng, this was no less agonizing. But he had no other choice.

Xiaoyuan…

You have to get better…

In Lin Xinyuan’s trembling gaze, Qin Nanfeng’s lips were dry as he reached out and pulled her into a tight embrace, ignoring her struggles.

“Ah… ugh…”

When the man fully embraced her, Lin Xinyuan’s mind went blank, completely taken over by “her,” with only a thread of clarity barely holding on.

The distortion on her face seemed ready to devour her soul.

Her hands trembled, desperately wanting to slice open her own wrists and let all the crimson liquid drain out, as if that might make her feel better…

But Qin Nanfeng held her firmly, her hands unable to move, trapped in his grasp.

Slowly, Lin Xinyuan could no longer contain her emotions and even began biting at Qin Nanfeng’s neck with her mouth.

Lin Xinyuan groaned in agony, biting down hard on the man’s flesh.

Crimson liquid dripped down. Her tongue was filled with the taste of rust.

The fact that she could stop herself from biting harder was already her limit.

“Wh… why… are you… doing this… ugh…”

She whimpered incoherently, cheeks wet, tears streaming down her face.

“I don’t want… ugh… don’t… waaah…”

She didn’t want this. She didn’t want to hurt Feng Ge. But she… couldn’t control herself…

“Let go… please… let go…”

Lin Xinyuan’s eyes were bloodshot.

She could feel the liquid in her mouth, frantically suppressing the urge to bite down harder.

A dark, fearful glint flickered in her gaze.

“Xiaoyuan… keep biting… as long as you don’t feel bad, that’s all that matters…”

Qin Nanfeng seemed to feel no pain at all.

Even as the person in his arms struggled, trying to push him away, he refused to let go, unwilling to let Lin Xinyuan hurt herself.

His smile was light, his tone clear and calm, just like always.

But hearing the man’s easygoing tone, the grief in Lin Xinyuan’s heart grew even more intense, her pupils shaking violently.

Why… why…

I could have held on. Why won’t you let me keep holding on…

Why do you have to help me this way…

You’re willing, but I’m not…

No… no…

I can’t… I can’t hurt… Feng Ge…